if you want to invite me to party, ASK ME first.

[Jazhara]

Typically, just today, the following happened:

 

On Nar Shaddaa, Nikto sector, there is a bonus mission that ends with killing a pretty tough elite. At least, he can be tough to solo.

 

I come running up to the location and see him up. There is a Jedi Shadow standing there, ready to pounce, so I invite him to group up while standing right next to him so he can see I'm out for the same goal as him.

 

Instead of accepting the invite he rushes to attack the elite, and declines the invitation. I sigh and roll my eyes, casually watching him fight alone...

 

...and die - with the elite still half-health.

 

This would be the point that I say 'F it'. I charge alone (with companion), and kill the elite without a sweat (though my companion died in the process >.>), effectively kill-stealing? I can't care less.

 

THAT is the consequence of never accepting unannounced group invites. If you are being anti-social by declining in this situation, you deserve to wait another 5 minutes before the mob spawns again.

[FourTwent]

Im actually surprised there's not an 'anonymous' feature.

 

Blind invites and Spam tells to healers was pretty rampant in the last MMO I played, but there was a way to be anonymous so you wouldn't show up as online in the who/friends list.

[JeremyDale]

I have taken the liberty to circumvent the obvious retorts to my post with the following hypothetical questions:

 

"If you don't wanna be invited to groups, you should just go play a single-player game."

 

No. I don't mind being invited to groups. What I do mind is someone inviting me to party without showing me the courtesy of ASKING me first if I wish to party with them.

 

"Turn on auto-decline group invites if you are such an anti-social person. Gawd, it's an MMO, people group to do stuff."

 

I love to group with people in order to meet a common objective. In fact, I am usually quite enthusiastic to party up with other players...provided they are willing to behave in a social manner themselves by being POLITE. It's RUDE to ninja-invite. Is it so hard to WHISPER someone and ask them if they even WANT to do the same thing you are doing?

 

And incidentally, I HAVE toggled auto-decline after today...didn't even know it was an option till my husband showed me. It cheeses me off that I have to and that people are so socially stunted that they can't be bothered to ASK first.

 

I'm all for efficiency. But when someone just spams me with his party invite without any regard to what I may be doing, it just makes me NOT want to party with him on principle alone. Like, even if I do want to do the same thing he wants to do, Saving Face, Personal Challenge, whatever....if he sends an invite without asking first, it's a forgone conclusion that I will NOT group with that person.

 

I support this message. At least ask first before you just invite someone, as it's very annoying and pushy when you don't. I've had experiences with this myself, especially if that person doesn't have his looking for group icon up.

Edited January 30, 2012 by JeremyDale

[Vodalus]

Typically, just today, the following happened:

 

On Nar Shaddaa, Nikto sector, there is a bonus mission that ends with killing a pretty tough elite. At least, he can be tough to solo.

 

I come running up to the location and see him up. There is a Jedi Shadow standing there, ready to pounce, so I invite him to group up while standing right next to him so he can see I'm out for the same goal as him.

 

Instead of accepting the invite he rushes to attack the elite, and declines the invitation. I sigh and roll my eyes, casually watching him fight alone...

 

...and die - with the elite still half-health.

 

This would be the point that I say 'F it'. I charge alone (with companion), and kill the elite without a sweat (though my companion died in the process >.>), effectively kill-stealing? I can't care less.

 

THAT is the consequence of never accepting unannounced group invites. If you are being anti-social by declining in this situation, you deserve to wait another 5 minutes before the mob spawns again.

 

I don't disagree. I also don't think the OP or most others who agree with the OP would disagree. We've already covered this scenario and all (most?) agree that this isn't the issue.

[Kabjat]

Typically, just today, the following happened:

 

On Nar Shaddaa, Nikto sector, there is a bonus mission that ends with killing a pretty tough elite. At least, he can be tough to solo.

 

I come running up to the location and see him up. There is a Jedi Shadow standing there, ready to pounce, so I invite him to group up while standing right next to him so he can see I'm out for the same goal as him.

 

Instead of accepting the invite he rushes to attack the elite, and declines the invitation. I sigh and roll my eyes, casually watching him fight alone...

 

...and die - with the elite still half-health.

 

This would be the point that I say 'F it'. I charge alone (with companion), and kill the elite without a sweat (though my companion died in the process >.>), effectively kill-stealing? I can't care less.

 

THAT is the consequence of never accepting unannounced group invites. If you are being anti-social by declining in this situation, you deserve to wait another 5 minutes before the mob spawns again.

 

*nods* I agree with you. O.o

 

Pretty much everyone who's posted here does.

 

I didn't say as much in my OP, but I have accepted blind invites and given out blind invites in a situation such as the one you described.

[Sureth]

Jazhara, Jazhara ..

Necessity for speed, obvious clarity as to the why and the need for overall efficiency in such a case, make this a non-issue.

 

The OP has already stated many times that in such a scenario, there's nothing wrong with a blind invite.

 

People disagreeing with the OP, have already stated that in such a scenario, there is nothing wrong with a blind invite.

 

People agreeing with the OP, have already agreed that in such a scenario, there is nothing wrong with a blind invite.

 

Basically everyone in this thread, has already agreed that in such a scenario, there is nothing wrong with a blind invite.

 

I think people from other threads are already agreeing, that in such a scenario there is nothing wrong with a blind invite, too : D

 

 

/edit All joking aside, I'd most likely have done the exact same thing as you did. Nor would I have felt sorry for the Shadow in that case.

Edited January 30, 2012 by Sureth

[Syntakk]

Agreed 100%

 

I cut my teeth on FFXI, and blind invites were HIGHLY discouraged. It's just polite to ask someone if they want to join you. I'm not anti-social, but maybe I don't feel like grouping at the moment, or maybe I don't have time to commit to a group. My playstyle is often interrupted every few minutes to take care of my young son, so most of the time I can't be part of a group because I'll just be standing around while the other person is doing all of the work.

 

Take a few seconds to send a quick message and ask if I'd like to join. This is supposed to be a social game after all.

[Vodalus]

Agreed 100%

 

I cut my teeth on FFXI, and blind invites were HIGHLY discouraged. It's just polite to ask someone if they want to join you. I'm not anti-social, but maybe I don't feel like grouping at the moment, or maybe I don't have time to commit to a group. My playstyle is often interrupted every few minutes to take care of my young son, so most of the time I can't be part of a group because I'll just be standing around while the other person is doing all of the work.

 

Take a few seconds to send a quick message and ask if I'd like to join. This is supposed to be a social game after all.

 

I get the impression that many here don't use social the way you (and I, and likely the OP. . .) use the word. I think they believe a social simply means "multiple player avatars in one location". It is often used to justify things such as limiting the GTN to fleet and capitol world only; "they need to force a social hub" . . . where people can stand around near each other doing their own thing, such as browsing the GTN interface.

 

Personally, I feel a social hub should be constructed such that it encourages people to interact, not simply to herd them into one area. Just as I feel that talking to each other, including asking before inviting, is being social when grouping, not simply filling a spot in the game mechanic that recognizes joint accomplishments.

[Surakis]

Blind invites has always been considered rude in the online gaming community for as long as I have played.

 

Must have missed the memo or the secrete MMO rules meeting.

[Varghjerta]

I have taken the liberty to circumvent the obvious retorts to my post with the following hypothetical questions:

 

"If you don't wanna be invited to groups, you should just go play a single-player game."

 

No. I don't mind being invited to groups. What I do mind is someone inviting me to party without showing me the courtesy of ASKING me first if I wish to party with them.

 

"Turn on auto-decline group invites if you are such an anti-social person. Gawd, it's an MMO, people group to do stuff."

 

I love to group with people in order to meet a common objective. In fact, I am usually quite enthusiastic to party up with other players...provided they are willing to behave in a social manner themselves by being POLITE. It's RUDE to ninja-invite. Is it so hard to WHISPER someone and ask them if they even WANT to do the same thing you are doing?

 

And incidentally, I HAVE toggled auto-decline after today...didn't even know it was an option till my husband showed me. It cheeses me off that I have to and that people are so socially stunted that they can't be bothered to ASK first.

 

I'm all for efficiency. But when someone just spams me with his party invite without any regard to what I may be doing, it just makes me NOT want to party with him on principle alone. Like, even if I do want to do the same thing he wants to do, Saving Face, Personal Challenge, whatever....if he sends an invite without asking first, it's a forgone conclusion that I will NOT group with that person.

 

/Signed

Well written post

[Syntakk]

Personally, I feel a social hub should be constructed such that it encourages people to interact, not simply to herd them into one area. Just as I feel that talking to each other, including asking before inviting, is being social when grouping, not simply filling a spot in the game mechanic that recognizes joint accomplishments.

 

Simply taking the time to send a message to people and start a conversation (even if it is only one or two quick lines) makes a huge impact in my opinion. I'm much more likely to join a group if you ask me first, but I'll be sure to let you know that I may not always be available if that's the case, and then if you're cool with that you can invite me.

 

The thing I miss most about FFXI was the community. It forced you to talk to other people and start conversations, and while at times it was a bit TOO forced, it ultimately made a very tight-knit community and led to many long friendships. In all of the games I've played since then (Aion, WoW, SWTOR) I have never seen anything close to that, and I really wish more people would think this way.

[KenshiroArashi]

Must have missed the memo or the secrete MMO rules meeting.

 

Interesting topic.

 

Actually I am new to MMOGs, and was unaware of this whole social dynamic...

 

I am guilty of sending out blind invites - I thought I was trying to be social and group with others, but it seems that I was ignorantly being rude...

 

Good info - nothing wrong with sending a whisper first though. Thanks for the education.

 

Respectfully,

Sanjuro

[Daisai]

Ninja inviting guildmembers is the ****.

Also instant queue for a warzone when they accept.

[cyberxeit]

I disagree...

Again, I disagree. This game was obviously made to be played solo i a person likes...

If you're not doing heroics or flashpoints you don't need a "party". If that bothers you, maybe you should cancel your sub...

Well, if you're mad it will give you time to think about your communication skills.

I know your type of player - one of them start teaching me in the general chat when I looking for heroic quest party. He typed "lol it's solo dude", "I do it my 12lvl" and etc., but after half-hour he starting looking for party to himself. I've already done it with great 4ppl party and funny chatting during we killing mobs. Well and solo-questing "dude" are still ignoring by other players, cause nobody want to group with such annoying person.

It's the massive multiplayer online rpg. It's the one of the most simpliest thing to understand. Other people can do anything not only you want from them. And you can ignore them or try to take the chance to make new friends. It's only up to you.

 

One day you are wondering that no one player except you on your server. Will you happy this day? Seems so it is.

Edited January 30, 2012 by cyberxeit

[LanceUpercutt]

I have taken the liberty to circumvent the obvious retorts to my post with the following hypothetical questions:

 

"If you don't wanna be invited to groups, you should just go play a single-player game."

 

No. I don't mind being invited to groups. What I do mind is someone inviting me to party without showing me the courtesy of ASKING me first if I wish to party with them.

 

"Turn on auto-decline group invites if you are such an anti-social person. Gawd, it's an MMO, people group to do stuff."

 

I love to group with people in order to meet a common objective. In fact, I am usually quite enthusiastic to party up with other players...provided they are willing to behave in a social manner themselves by being POLITE. It's RUDE to ninja-invite. Is it so hard to WHISPER someone and ask them if they even WANT to do the same thing you are doing?

 

And incidentally, I HAVE toggled auto-decline after today...didn't even know it was an option till my husband showed me. It cheeses me off that I have to and that people are so socially stunted that they can't be bothered to ASK first.

 

I'm all for efficiency. But when someone just spams me with his party invite without any regard to what I may be doing, it just makes me NOT want to party with him on principle alone. Like, even if I do want to do the same thing he wants to do, Saving Face, Personal Challenge, whatever....if he sends an invite without asking first, it's a forgone conclusion that I will NOT group with that person.

 

sending an invite is how i ask

[Tourette]

I also do not group with random invites. But occasionally I do have a /tell asking me if I would like to group and if I cannot for some reason I reply stating this but thank them for asking anyway.

I live by the motto 'Manner do not cost anything but they go a long way' and there are quite a few people ingame which seem to think the same so all is not lost

[Spymaster]

I like when people give me random invites without asking..... lets me know to avoid them from the start.

[SkateOnTrees]

make sure you ask them for permission before inspecting their gear too

 

being rude is soo.... rude

[Kalfear]

I have taken the liberty to circumvent the obvious retorts to my post with the following hypothetical questions:

 

"If you don't wanna be invited to groups, you should just go play a single-player game."

 

No. I don't mind being invited to groups. What I do mind is someone inviting me to party without showing me the courtesy of ASKING me first if I wish to party with them.

 

"Turn on auto-decline group invites if you are such an anti-social person. Gawd, it's an MMO, people group to do stuff."

 

I love to group with people in order to meet a common objective. In fact, I am usually quite enthusiastic to party up with other players...provided they are willing to behave in a social manner themselves by being POLITE. It's RUDE to ninja-invite. Is it so hard to WHISPER someone and ask them if they even WANT to do the same thing you are doing?

 

And incidentally, I HAVE toggled auto-decline after today...didn't even know it was an option till my husband showed me. It cheeses me off that I have to and that people are so socially stunted that they can't be bothered to ASK first.

 

I'm all for efficiency. But when someone just spams me with his party invite without any regard to what I may be doing, it just makes me NOT want to party with him on principle alone. Like, even if I do want to do the same thing he wants to do, Saving Face, Personal Challenge, whatever....if he sends an invite without asking first, it's a forgone conclusion that I will NOT group with that person.

 

 

heh im with you OP!

 

Unless its a specific mob spawning thats required for a quest (ill invite with out asking so everyone can get credit thats there) I turn down group invites that dont have a message asking first as well.

 

Other day some guy must have sent me 5-7 group invites on Ord Mantell, and I kept declining them. After the 5th or 7th invite he finally sent me a tell

 

"WHY WONT YOU HELP ME????"

 

I simply responded, "because you never asked. I will gladly help you if thats what your asking for."

 

he logged off

 

I get its the new thing since WOW to not communicate and not interact with other players unless you need something.

 

That doesnt fly with me though.

 

I will go out of my way to help people, group with people, interact and socialize.

But they need to ask me first.

 

Its like random guild invites.

Not only do I decline those but I put the inviter on immediate ignore.

 

If someone wants to group. they need only ask. If I have the time and we doing same stuff (or If I have the time and you just need a hand), they need only ask me with full words (no numbers or internet shortcuts...IE YOU= is spelled YOU, not U. For is spelt FOR, not 4).

 

One thing I do call line at is helping those trying to power through game. Yesterday some level 6 knight on Tython wanted help with the Tython storyline finish quest. Sorry, thats a lvl 9-10 encounter and you have to skip ALLOT OF CONTENT to get there at level 6. Im not rewarding that player with aide so they can turn around and come here and complain the XP to small and they under level come Taris or Nar Shaddaa or Tatooine or what ever.

 

But yeah, for normal players not trying to cheat the system, just ask. 9 outta 10 times Ill say sure and invite the player to group with a big Heyas and Welcome upon their joining.

[SkateOnTrees]

"You should know that and why I'm upset without me having to tell you"

 

seriously why don't you people just wear signs on your foreheads that says "I'm unreasonable"

 

or bags for all i care

Edited January 30, 2012 by Meluna
content

[DirtyStain]

Most of the time, I will not ask. If you are in the same area I am outside of a safe hub, we're likely doing the same thing. It should be obvious what my intentions are. If you don't want to level faster and/or enjoy another persons company in the cutscenes, decline. I am not offended.

[unclekaula]

For me, depends on the situation.

 

If we're all standing around waiting on a spawn that we have to kill, just invite me already. I've had several groups that have formed, killed the mob and disbanded without so much as a word.

 

If I'm out questing in the world and you want me to join your FP, or you need a hand with something and your randomly working your way down the who list, then ask me first.

 

This is how I feel. However, if someone does invite me when I dont want an invite, I dont come to the forums and complain... I just decline it.

[Sureth]

Must have missed the memo or the secrete MMO rules meeting.

 

I recall, for example, a loading screen tip from WoW. It went something along the lines of: "It is considered polite to talk to someone before inviting them to a group or requesting a trade with them."

For what it's worth, that may be considered memo, sent by a longstanding, much-played MMO ; )

[wilsonstone]

Back in the day this was an issue in the CoH/ CoX forums, too. Before they implemented the ability to block invites in that game blind invites were rampant. The problem was also that the invite window was large and when it popped up on the screen obscured your view.

 

Then people started sending tells first, but the tells were followed in 2 seconds by the invite. It was the jack*** way of saying "well, i did send a tell first!". I ended up always autodeclining invites because of it.

[Sandybeaver]

Anyone who declines an invite because I "have to ask first", gets instantly ignored. Your being a pompous **** and I dont have time to deal with uppity idiots in the little bit of time I actually get to play.