if you want to invite me to party, ASK ME first.

[Jahor]

Sometimes I do ninja-invites too.

 

For example when I notice someone else is doing the same mission as I do or when I fight a chain endboss which someone else needs too.

 

Klick him, klick "+" next to his mini icon, kill mission mobs, /bow /thx /p "cu :)"

[Kabjat]

If the OP says "yes, me please" to "Anyone for X", then OP KNOWS what the invite is for.

 

/facepalm

 

If I do NOT say 'yes, me please' in response to 'Anyone for X' then it means I do not wish to do heroic. I do not respond to LFM.

 

If I get invited without a word by same person spamming LFM, then he's the one not paying attention. If I didn't answer his call for group in chat, then why would he feel the need to ninja invite?

 

Does he hope that I will come to my senses and realize that I REALLY should group with him? Does he think he will wear me down?

 

What kind of hint is needed to get it through that doing this can be seen as really RUDE by some people?

 

Why must some of you attack people with a differing outlook than yours? I am not addressing you personally, Sureth, just some of the really snarky replies I have gotten.

 

I apologize if I sound a bit irritated, but honestly, my OP is very straight forward. I'm not sure why there is so much confusion.

[Zabonam]

Only time I invite without asking is when we're both in the same area, need the same thing and are currently both busy fighting and can't take a moment to type.

 

Afterwards I say hello and stuff.

 

Aside from that I always ask.

[Sureth]

Ok let's stop with the ninja invite stuff...it's simply an invite. There is no button that says ninja...and 999 out of 1000 people are just trying to be social to accomplish a common goal..

 

I do it. I don't ninja. And it is not harassment for cripes sake.

 

It usually gies like this..

 

I'm waiting on a mob to spawn...Obi Wan comes along and is CLEARLY waiting for the same spawn...I right click his/her portrait and invite them....this is wrong? No it's not...

 

Obi Wan accepts. We kill said mob. I say thnx. He says thnx. Away we go.

 

Maybe some of you should just try and see the others point of view too. Does it bother you ? It does, i know, so sorry but you are not being harassed.

 

I'll repeat:

And these are the keywords, which many of those disagreeing with the OP are conveniently ignoring: "IF I've no idea what you're inviting me for." That is when a blind invite becomes annoying.

As has been said over and over in previous posts: in your example, there is no problem. The purpose of the invite is clear and we, too, will thank you for it.

[Joonbeams]

Yep, and it's already been agreed by many in this thread, including myself, that in THAT instance, it's ok to no-ask invite. Obviously, if I get a no-ask invite and I'm standing next to an area where a big boss mob spawns, of course i will not take issue with that...indeed, i'd be grateful, especially if I needed that kill! lol

 

It's when people make assumptions about what I am doing and that I will WANT to do what they are doing that annoys me. And I am somewhat of an MMO noob myself. I started playing wow in 2008, first video game EVER...last one I played before that was on an archaic device that predates Moses called and Atari LMAO. Pac-Man ftw

 

You are absolutely right in your assertion that many don't blind invite to be rude. After what I have read on this thread, I really can see that now. I guess I have never viewed a whisper as weird or creepy...especially if it's a simple "wanna do X-heroic?" To me, it seems the polite thing to do! xD But here again, that's my opinion.

 

Yay, we understand eachother now. I learned a lot from this post, which is why I participated so much. Never having played an MMO before this, it's amazing how much there is to learn beyond the skills, attributes, etc. But I totally get your perspective now too. Oh, and I Atari, Colecovision, I'm all too familiar with those devices...

[Vahn_Sanji]

I have taken the liberty to circumvent the obvious retorts to my post with the following hypothetical questions:

 

"If you don't wanna be invited to groups, you should just go play a single-player game."

 

No. I don't mind being invited to groups. What I do mind is someone inviting me to party without showing me the courtesy of ASKING me first if I wish to party with them.

 

"Turn on auto-decline group invites if you are such an anti-social person. Gawd, it's an MMO, people group to do stuff."

 

I love to group with people in order to meet a common objective. In fact, I am usually quite enthusiastic to party up with other players...provided they are willing to behave in a social manner themselves by being POLITE. It's RUDE to ninja-invite. Is it so hard to WHISPER someone and ask them if they even WANT to do the same thing you are doing?

 

And incidentally, I HAVE toggled auto-decline after today...didn't even know it was an option till my husband showed me. It cheeses me off that I have to and that people are so socially stunted that they can't be bothered to ASK first.

 

I'm all for efficiency. But when someone just spams me with his party invite without any regard to what I may be doing, it just makes me NOT want to party with him on principle alone. Like, even if I do want to do the same thing he wants to do, Saving Face, Personal Challenge, whatever....if he sends an invite without asking first, it's a forgone conclusion that I will NOT group with that person.

 

It is also something I adhere too, it used to be common practice but alas how times have changed

[Laiov]

I'll repeat:

 

And these are the keywords, which many of those disagreeing with the OP are conveniently ignoring: "IF I've no idea what you're inviting me for." That is when a blind invite becomes annoying.

That's when a blind invite becomes annoying to you. You say "conveniently" as if that scenario would also be annoying to many of those disagreeing with the OP. While I can't speak for others, I can report that it doesn't annoy me at all. I don't feel annoyance or anxiety or irritation of any kind when I have no idea why somebody is inviting me to a group. That foreknowledge is not something I personally find important in this kind of environment.

 

Which, again, might suggest that this is some sort of personality-informed issue rather than a simple matter of these kids these days and their newfangled impatience.

Edited January 30, 2012 by Laiov

[Kabjat]

Ok let's stop with the ninja invite stuff...it's simply an invite. There is no button that says ninja...and 999 out of 1000 people are just trying to be social to accomplish a common goal..

 

I do it. I don't ninja. And it is not harassment for cripes sake.

 

It usually gies like this..

 

I'm waiting on a mob to spawn...Obi Wan comes along and is CLEARLY waiting for the same spawn...I right click his/her portrait and invite them....this is wrong? No it's not...

 

Obi Wan accepts. We kill said mob. I say thnx. He says thnx. Away we go.

 

Maybe some of you should just try and see the others point of view too. Does it bother you ? It does, i know, so sorry but you are not being harassed.

 

 

If you'd paid attention, you would know that I, and most of the people on this thread who share my view, do not consider the situation you just described to be a problem.

 

It's the RANDOM, from out of NOWHERE invites that pop up. I don't care where in zone you are. Inviting without giving me a reason for it is presuming that my plans line up with yours. You are presuming that grouping together, while beneficial to YOU, will also be something beneficial to ME. Who knows, maybe you DON'T care if it's beneficial. There's know way of knowing anything about the arrangement because it takes and act of Congress to get anyone to say anything! xD

 

If you need help with something, what's so hard about asking for it? I love helping other players. But when they send a silent party invite expecting me to read their minds....I'm sorry, just puts a bad taste in my mouth.

[Sureth]

/facepalm

 

If I do NOT say 'yes, me please' in response to 'Anyone for X' then it means I do not wish to do heroic. I do not respond to LFM.

 

(...)

 

Why must some of you attack people with a differing outlook than yours? I am not addressing you personally, Sureth, just some of the really snarky replies I have gotten.

 

I apologize if I sound a bit irritated, but honestly, my OP is very straight forward. I'm not sure why there is so much confusion.

 

A misunderstanding arose I fear?

That bit came from my answer to Henigan's post:

 

Originally Posted by Henigan

I'm not sure I follow what the OP is trying to say, (...)? If she's refering to "Anyone for X?" "OP: Yes me please." "Op recieves a invite and rages about not getting a whisper as a responce to her sentence written in the general chat agreeing to the invite to start with" then I'm clueless.

 

Originally posted by Sureth

And these are the keywords, which many of those disagreeing with the OP are conveniently ignoring: "IF I've no idea what you're inviting me for."

 

If the OP says "yes, me please" to "Anyone for X", then OP KNOWS what the invite is for.

 

I'm answering Henigan that in his/her scenario obviously receiving the invite without more talking is fine, since you asked for it by answering "yes please".

So many quotes, hope it still makes sense ; )

[Kabjat]

Yay, we understand eachother now. I learned a lot from this post, which is why I participated so much. Never having played an MMO before this, it's amazing how much there is to learn beyond the skills, attributes, etc. But I totally get your perspective now too. Oh, and I Atari, Colecovision, I'm all too familiar with those devices...

 

WOOT! /highfive for the age of atari xD man the hours I spent glued to Pac Man haha.

 

and I'm very glad for the discourse. Thank you for sticking it out lol. And I am still a total noob in many respects. My goals in the game are definitely not to level up fast so I can raid. I just wanna mosey through at my own slow pace...and often I am nervous when I group for heroics, because people are always in such a hurry...and I'm not xD. Prolly why it's best for me to just run with the hubby.

[Kabjat]

A misunderstanding arose I fear?

That bit came from my answer to Henigan's post:

 

 

 

I'm answering Henigan that in his/her scenario obviously receiving the invite without more talking is fine, since you asked for it by answering "yes please".

So many quotes, hope it still makes sense ; )

 

OH MY GOSH. LMAO, I think I read that totally out of context xD

 

Pardon my goof. *bows* You see how context is everything on these forums!! LMAO

 

*blushes*

[Aidbringer]

Now I have to admit I am old school...

 

But personally...

 

If I am looking for more, I will send out the occasional chat in the appropriate channel(s).

 

If I see somebody that I think might want a group (or could help), I will send a tell/whisper. Now I tend to be polite enough in most cases, I will still with "Hello, do you have a moment?"

 

Now as others have mentioned if I am killing (or about to kill) a long timer quest mob, and see others come up, this is one of the few times I will do a blind invite.

 

Then again, I came from games were game play was a bit slower, and social skills / reputation was vastly more important.

 

Now am I offended by the blind invite.

 

Not overly barring a few exceptions.

 

Anything but a very long timer quest mob, while actively fighting. Pop-ups during fights causes death, intentionally causing a pop, while someone is in a fight is griefing... (likewise folks try to open trade windows, etc).

 

Repeat invites... (If I declines the first (and the second), not going to change my mind the third, fourth, fifth, etc... time)

 

Now really gets on me is combine the two (repeat invites during combat, and I will report for griefing).

 

 

Peace

[Kabjat]

Now I have to admit I am old school...

 

But personally...

 

If I am looking for more, I will send out the occasional chat in the appropriate channel(s).

 

If I see somebody that I think might want a group (or could help), I will send a tell/whisper. Now I tend to be polite enough in most cases, I will still with "Hello, do you have a moment?"

 

Now as others have mentioned if I am killing (or about to kill) a long timer quest mob, and see others come up, this is one of the few times I will do a blind invite.

 

Then again, I came from games were game play was a bit slower, and social skills / reputation was vastly more important.

 

Now am I offended by the blind invite.

 

Not overly barring a few exceptions.

 

Anything but a very long timer quest mob, while actively fighting. Pop-ups during fights causes death, intentionally causing a pop, while someone is in a fight is griefing... (likewise folks try to open trade windows, etc).

 

Repeat invites... (If I declines the first (and the second), not going to change my mind the third, fourth, fifth, etc... time)

 

Now really gets on me is combine the two (repeat invites during combat, and I will report for griefing).

 

 

Peace

 

Pretty much, yeah. This. And if someone whispers me with "excuse me, do you have a moment?" they get extra love from me for going out of their way to be courteous.

 

To me, and many others who posted on this thread, that communicates that the person whispering respects your time and that partying with them will likely be a pleasant experience.

 

But the slow timer mobs the EVERYONE needs I think everyone universally agrees that all around inviting to a group is always appreciated...especially if the big boss mob is in the process of being killed xD

[Kringlorr]

Why do you think anyone would care?

[Roadblck]

....typical republic Jedi hippy complaining about grouping up something that should come natural to them...........By Raven name....Stop complain and play the game...

 

 

P.S. I"m BATMAN

Edited January 30, 2012 by Roadblck

[Saitada]

I think you've redefined rudeness and courtesty to be doing things the way you want them to be done....

 

Blind invites has always been considered rude in the online gaming community for as long as I have played.

 

Repeating (spamming) said invites after the first decline is considered a hostile and aggressive act (and in some games will get you killed... repeatedly.).

 

Being polite in a game and whispering someone and asking them if they'd like to group up for X quest etc... seems to be more and more rare these days. It doesn't take much to type a few words in a whisper. And goes a long way to making the game a more social place.

 

The other day I got spammed a guild invite 6 times. I declined the invite all six times because at no time, did the individual ask me if I wanted to join their guild. I then went on to castigate them in general for not understanding what DECLINE means, and then ignored them, and now every time I see anybody with that guild tag, I automatically ignore them as well w/o even bothering to care if they are nice people or not.

 

The fact that they are a part of a guild, who's leader is so rude is enough for me to consider them as wearing the same cloth.

 

~Saitada

Edited January 30, 2012 by Saitada

[EternallSlumber]

Why do you think anyone would care?

 

page 25 says, people care.

 

 

If anything, this thread definately shows there are 2 sides to this issue. I might be slightly more tolerant of blind invites now. But still, you will get ignored if you do it after I decline. I will be much more likely to join if I get tell first.

 

This used to be a no brainer; now its a debate - times have definately changed.

Edited January 30, 2012 by EternallSlumber

[Hypernetic]

If you want to post rants on the forums, ask me first. This is just rude.

[EternallSlumber]

If you want to post rants on the forums, ask me first. This is just rude.

 

Would you add somethiing helpful or constructive to the thread if I asked you first? I am asking....

Edited January 30, 2012 by EternallSlumber

[Kabjat]

If you want to post rants on the forums, ask me first. This is just rude.

 

LMAO, oh dear, I'm so sorry!

 

If you are attempting a short two sentence jab at the fact that I expressed my opinion on an obvious and widespread issue in-game and ALSO posted this without knowing that the thread actually sparked helpful discussion, well you succeeded.

 

Grats!

 

If I missed some hidden nuance, my apologies >.<

[DaForceOfCourse]

I 100% agree with you on that. Its not about, not liking to "group up". Its about random af people inviting you to a group for an unknown reason

[wilsonstone]

I have taken the liberty to circumvent the obvious retorts to my post with the following hypothetical questions:

 

"If you don't wanna be invited to groups, you should just go play a single-player game."

 

No. I don't mind being invited to groups. What I do mind is someone inviting me to party without showing me the courtesy of ASKING me first if I wish to party with them.

 

"Turn on auto-decline group invites if you are such an anti-social person. Gawd, it's an MMO, people group to do stuff."

 

I love to group with people in order to meet a common objective. In fact, I am usually quite enthusiastic to party up with other players...provided they are willing to behave in a social manner themselves by being POLITE. It's RUDE to ninja-invite. Is it so hard to WHISPER someone and ask them if they even WANT to do the same thing you are doing?

 

And incidentally, I HAVE toggled auto-decline after today...didn't even know it was an option till my husband showed me. It cheeses me off that I have to and that people are so socially stunted that they can't be bothered to ASK first.

 

I'm all for efficiency. But when someone just spams me with his party invite without any regard to what I may be doing, it just makes me NOT want to party with him on principle alone. Like, even if I do want to do the same thing he wants to do, Saving Face, Personal Challenge, whatever....if he sends an invite without asking first, it's a forgone conclusion that I will NOT group with that person.

 

When I saw your OP I thought "Here come the flames!" Doesn't seem that way and I am glad. I agree with you. I've been more fortunate than you it seems. Most people I've grouped with have whispered first.

 

But I did get a few that I had to put on ignore just because they kept inviting me after I declined. One guy must have sent five or six before I got upset enough to ignore him. Really, dude, I don't want to team, hitting decline was not an accident.

 

 

Oh, and hitting decline does NOT entitle you to a reason. Maybe I want to left alone....maybe I have to log soon so I don't want to bug out on a mission/team. Maybe I hate your stupid name. It doesn't matter. If you see "XXXXXXX has declined your offer to invite" just learn to live with it. Geez.

 

Bad part is I may have teamed with them if they had, as the OP says, merely asked first.

[OriginSucks]

One of the weird swtor players who untill wonder that not single-player game, but still playing like it's KotOR 3 and everywhere just a NPC.

 

 

Could I get a translator please?

 

 

As for the OP, I agree.

 

About the in game invites, and about the kids :S

[wilsonstone]

Every declines party invite do the more people ignoring multyplayers gaming in the future.

 

I disagree. By your logic I could be doig anything in game but I should accept an invite just because some joe-shmoe sends one. Sorry, dude. Ain't happening. It won't kill mmos. It even seems to me that recent mmos are catering to the "don't want to team all of the time" crowd.

 

Every players who prefer solo-gaming kills SWtOR gaming community.

Again, I disagree. This game was obviously made to be played solo i a person likes. I like to solo but I've teamed up for common goals, or to recieve or give help to another player. But the thing is they asked me first. Or I asked them.

 

Every day that anyone can't find party make decision to cancel subscription easier.

So, come on, play like its solo-game but do not whine that server population decimate after several months.

 

If you're not doing heroics or flashpoints you don't need a "party". If that bothers you, maybe you should cancel your sub. Theres no shame in that. I can only speak for myself, but I know I'm not responsible or your entertainment. I'm not obligated to teamv up with you at any time. I most certainly won't if you can't even ask me first if I would like to team up to do X, Y or Z.

 

It's simple but weird people can't think about it.

Well, if you're mad it will give you time to think about your communication skills.

[Sureth]

Originally posted by OriginSucks

 

One of the weird swtor players who untill wonder that not single-player game, but still playing like it's KotOR 3 and everywhere just a NPC.

 

 

Could I get a translator please?

 

(...)

 

I read the above as:

They are one of those weird SWTOR players who still don't understand that it's not a single player game, but are still playing it like it's KotOR 3, and consider everyone an NPC (i.e. will treat everyone as if they're NPC's, even when they're players)

Of course I may be wrong : )

Edited January 30, 2012 by Sureth
typo correction