So, I made a friend! ...yay?

[SithMagician_X]

/popcorn

[TOURDallas]

In the beginning your description of the issue was pretty funny, but with your last update, I'm just getting depressed. I don't envy you your situation and now I'm even starting to feel a little worried and sad for your stalker.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

[MidichIorian]

Man, I wish I had a friend like that. That's the type of dude you can talk into re-specing from dps to heals or dps to tank, depending on his class, on a HM to HM basis, based on what you need for the moment. You should seize this opportunity......just....don't give him any personal info.

[Mirdthestrill]

In the beginning your description of the issue was pretty funny, but with your last update, I'm just getting depressed. I don't envy you your situation and now I'm even starting to feel a little worried and sad for your stalker.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

 

Agreed. Hope the situation resolves itself peacefully.

[Elanthil]

Oh god.. been there done that.

 

I had a "friend" just like yours in another mmo who just wouldn't leave me alone either,

he was online all the damn time, and instantly pm'ed whenever I came online on any of my characters he knew about.

 

I ended up getting bored of the game and took a 6 month break, returned, guess who messaged me the second I came online? That's right.. an alt of his I had never heard of before.. he had apparently been religiously adding every one of my characters to his friends list on every alt, for half a year!

 

 

AHAHAHAH! I've had this too...thanks to a certain .net that allows you to add players to friends via their .net instead of just by in-game char name...

 

My solution was to tell them I didn't want to group with them anymore, put them on ignore, and just /rude every time they tried to get close to me...they finally got fed up and left me alone.

Edited March 20, 2012 by Elanthil

[haliy]

Where do I go from here? Im actually at a loss as to what to do next. Other than stick to my alt.

 

You can do 1 of 2 things.

 

Delete your main and your Alt you have becomes your main because your worried that he might be following you around

 

or...

 

Play as you normally would but on your main. I come back to this thread a lot just to pop in and see how things are going and every time I see whats going on, I think of one thing (especially when you wrote that he was ducking behind trees and rocks) you have Smeagol following you. If he wants to play the game just by following you around all day, let him. I honestly don't know how that is any fun but whatever...

 

Now that you have laid down the law for the most part by just saying "NO" and going off to do your own thing, he knows that in some way he has done something to upset you to the point where he is still following you but feels that he has to try hiding when you turn back. Now you can "lay down the law" yet again.

 

What I mean by this is, when you know for a fact he is following you, yell out the name and say hey, come here. Now... if you want to quest with me fine but it will be on my grounds, my rules. Set a set of ground rules which include (but not limited to) not trying to sell stuff to you and to stop being so clingy... its just creepy. And let him know if any of those rules are broken... bye. Let him know he will be on ignore forever and there will be nothing he can do about it. Any chances for getting any type of help from yourself gone... I don't want to use the word "relationship" but in this circumstance, you are defiantly the Alpha Dog.

 

Come later on, your going to end up finding heroics where you are going to wish you had another person to help you out at any given time which apparently you already have. You can't even get that kind of response from other members in some of the guilds that i've seen.

[z-ray]

Fast forward 30 minutes, I run out to quest on Tatooine and im not really paying attention as I go along, doing random quests. I finish a few and head back to turn them in and, turning around, I see him run behind a rock (I kid you not!) so - to prove to myself I wasnt being paranoid - I mounted up and dide a huge figure 8 around the map and just like the mafia, he is two cars behind me, following me.

When I stopped, he would dash behind the nearest piece of scenery and wait until I started moving again.

To what end, I had no idea - he wasnt even helping me kill mobs - he just followed me around.

my alt.

 

I must say, this whole thing sounds very strange indeed, (but a very amusing thread for sure!). What I don't understand is how is he able to follow you around like that? I mean sure, it's easy enough to find out which planet someone is on, but how does he find you on the planet? Unless you're grouped there's no way to know where another player actually is on the map, or is there some kind of player locator function in game that I'm not aware of?

 

He almost sounds like a bot or something, or he's got some kind of magic stalking powers to find you with...

 

But I agree with many other posters, tell him no, /ignore and move on would be your best option. (and if not, pls keep updating this thread because this is actually one of the funniest threads I've ever read on this forum!)

[ademnus]

aw, you haven't found a friend, you've found an online emotional vampire. poor lad.

[Dalwhat]

I think you have stumbled upon the Autobot 2000

[Vexxation]

Awesome Advice, thank you!

 

.

 

You are most welcome. I would ignore the stalking behaviour - remember any kind of response from you is still a response. Keep ignoring it, do NOT acknowledge it in any way and it WILL cease. It may take some time though, but the lack of any kind of response from you (this includes getting angry, which will have the opposite effect than you intend) is the best course of action.

Try not to judge his responses or feelings btw on how YOU would respond - this person is NOT like you, (if I was at work Id say he had a definite pathology! lol), but continuining to disregard his actions will eventually mean he leaves you alone. I would still not let his actions dictate yours - go on which ever toon you WANT to go on, and continue to ignore any and all actions by this person.

 

Again best of luck.

[Booogeyman]

Ok, about a week ago, I met a nice fellow on Korriban who helped me out with a few heroics. I was grateful he did because, being a complete noob (and idiot) I was finding the entire game a tad overwhelming.

So I found my feet afterwards and got talking to the chap - he is a fine man, doesnt speak a whole lot of english but was perfectly understandable and fun to group with.

 

So whats the problem? I hear y'all ask.

 

 

After he helped me with a few more heroics, he asked me for help - fine, I dont mind, ive already done em but you've done so much for me, i'll help you out!

Somehow me helping him do two heroics ment I should now follow him around healing him why he quests. He hasnt really said that specifically, but he will tell me "Come" and then "Follow me plz" and then proceed to run around doing random quests and collection stuff.

 

I said to him "Dude, I cant follow you around all the time, I need to go and quest over here!"

He replied "Ok, I help you :)" and he did.

 

Still not seeing a problem? Ok, two days ago,m he was waiting for me online (weirdly in front of the exact random place I logged out the night before) and simply invited me to a group and said "Lets quest together! :)"

"Uh... ok but I really need to go to fle-"

"Come, follow!" SHARESHARESHARE a bucket load of new quests on a planet I hadnt even been to yet.

"Do you buy this from me? 20k!" He said linking some purple armor I couldnt wear.

"I cant wear it."

"15k!"

 

I said no and he went through an entire list of purple and blue items until he finally said, again "Follow!" I followed him around again, doing various quests but really I wanted to get away and do my own thing. I said to him "Ok, lets split up. I need to go do this and you can keep questing :)"

He replied "Ok, I come help you."

So yesterday, frustrated that he was eating up all my time again, I faked a connection death and did some work around the house. Im still ashamed of it, I left him hanging, but for the past week, everyday ive come on with limited time to play has been eaten up following him around!

 

Three hours when I came back online, guess who was stood exactly infront of me! Thats right! THREE HOURS! He'd waited for me for THREE HOURS and said "Hi, come! :)"

 

What can I do? He wont go away! ...I started playing an alt, but I really want to play my main character - I thought "I'll just play it a few days until he logs off, he'll move on then." But he hasnt. I went to where I last logged out with my main and he is standing there, waiting for me!

 

I really dont want to put him on ignore - he is a nice guy afterall, he doesnt talk that much and he did help me all those times. I just dont want to spend every second of my playtime with him.

Ive told him this and he said "Ok, I follow you." I made excuses to split up and he says "Ok, I come help you!"

 

ITS DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!

 

So I need advice; What do I do? Apart from making an alt with the same character and starting again, I cant see a way out of this. You guys got any advice to help?

 

 

I am really sorry but this story is so fu.....g funny. I feel with you. Have a good time. Hope he quits his account in near future.

[Sunosan]

I must say, this whole thing sounds very strange indeed, (but a very amusing thread for sure!). What I don't understand is how is he able to follow you around like that? I mean sure, it's easy enough to find out which planet someone is on, but how does he find you on the planet? Unless you're grouped there's no way to know where another player actually is on the map, or is there some kind of player locator function in game that I'm not aware of?

 

He almost sounds like a bot or something, or he's got some kind of magic stalking powers to find you with...

 

Ive been thinking this myself. Sometimes, ive been in the most random of places on a planet - even inside an instanced quest place - and when ive emerged, he's just been there!

My IRL friend (I have 1 - yay!) says im just being really paranoid about it - he points out that we're around the same level and we're bound to be doing some of the same quest in the same area, every now and again.

 

I did start to doubt myself, that maybe im just being super paranoid about it because it took so long to get rid of him the first couple of times - so when I was completeing some random quests and caught sight of him running behind a building, I followed him.

His character was stood there, facing away from me, looking at a wall. It was him, but he did absolutely nothing - he didnt even move.

 

I said to myself "Right, bugger this - just get on with it" and went out to quest again - he followed me. It was like a game of cat and mouse, I saw him run somewhere, I ran away, he ran after me lol.

After a while, I decided to test his patience and see what he would do (and to prove to myself once more im not being paranoid) - I followed him and stood right infront of him in his latest hiding space, then went to get a drink (and make a sammich!) - when I got back, he was standing there still, motionless.

 

I got a whisper from somebody saying "Why you blocked [stalker]?"

I told this guy what was happening - he spoke broken english too so I hoped maybe he spoke the same language and could tell him to back off.

This is where it takes a weird (scary) twist - the conversation went a little like this:

 

"He say u r his gf" [RandomGuy]

 

...

 

I would just like to point out at this venture, I am a 28 year old man.

My character, however, happens to be female.

 

"No lol Im a guy!" [Me]

"But u play a woman??? lol" [RGuy]

"Well, yeah, they look cool! :)" [Me]

"Wow lol ok I tel him!" [RGuy]

 

Two minutes later, my stalker ran away.

 

"So, what makes that twist so scary?! Thats so funneh!" I hear y'all say.

Well, im not going to get into a childish debate about men playing female toons - I just think they're more pleasent to look at when questing - but the fact he thought I was female because of that AND the fact he found it socially acceptable to follow me around, creeping me out, because he thought I am female is just - scary!

 

What about other genuine female gamers? I was mildly disturb by what he was doing - how is a female gamer going to feel about something like that?

I sent the random guy another whisper saying "Thats horrible thing to do!"

He didnt answer me directly but he did shout a few times in general chat "[Myself] IS A MAN PRETNDING 2 B A GIRL! WATCH OUT!" - which was met by a fair few giggles before continuing their debate about Ewoks.

 

Happily, ive been put on ignore and I havent seen him around me since but Ive been left reeling by it. We group for a week, yes. Sexuality never came into it. I just followed him around healing and questing and vice-versa. How that suddenly made us "Boyfriend & Girlfriend" im not sure. I mean, we didnt even talk a whole lot on account he couldnt string more than 3 english words together in a sentence!

 

It's disturbing to think this can happen though. It didnt even occur to me that playing a female toon would leave some men so open to suggestion - I mean, there are no GIRLS on the internet - everybody knows that (Yes im joking to make a point!)

 

I feel sorry for Female gamers. Stay safe out there! If this can happen to me, it can happen to any of ya!

[Veniras]

Wow, just wow. I mean, that is slightly creepy (and sad).

 

(And yet I can't help thinking of the funny equivalent from the first episode of "The Guild")

[ylaenna]

Sunosan, to be honest with you, I thought you were truly a female as well. Women seem to more likely have a hard time saying no to people. Just my opinion. (And before the flaming starts, I am a woman. I'm not being hateful or sexist, just my opinion from personal observation.)

 

Glad you finally grew a pair.

[FlippinFlapJack]

I too am a man (and an ugly one) and play a female in the game. I do that because, like the original poster said, I think they are nicer to look at.

 

I did infuriate one particular person. He asked me to join up on a mission that I needed to complete as well so I did. After we were done, he began asking me some personal questions. I said "I think you are asking me these questions because you might think I look like my character in real life. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm a guy, put your [insert favorite slang term here] back in your pants."

 

He said that I had led him on and he would have never asked me to join a group had he have known. He put me on his ignore list and I went on about my day.

 

If I want to hook up with someone (and I do occasionally) I prefer dating sites to MMORPG's, don't you?

[O-Deka-K]

Whatever you do, be consistant with it. Someone gave me a hard time with a comment something along the lines of "What is he a dog?".

 

Sorry if I was harsh, but that was sort of the point. Like you say in the same post: "Anyway, this guy has clearly gone way over the line." If he's over the line, then there's not much point in spending time and effort in order to change him. Anyways, all of that is now moot. The guy ran away.

 

"He say u r his gf" [RandomGuy]

 

I would just like to point out at this venture, I am a 28 year old man.

My character, however, happens to be female.

 

I knew it!! I knew he was stalking you because he thought you were a girl (but I didn't know if you were one IRL)!

 

I mean, there are no GIRLS on the internet - everybody knows that (Yes im joking to make a point!)

 

GIRL = Guy In Real Life

 

I'm also a guy who plays a female toon, because I like strong female characters (and they're nice to look at). I don't consider myself as BEING the character. I don't know why some people don't get that. Different people think of things differently.

[Owsley]

I took an anthropology course years ago and the professor taught me a valuable life lesson that I've applied everytime I enter a new environment like a workplace, neighborhood, or social situation.

 

The first person to contact you in a new situation is a social outcast. Avoid them. They are usually the wierdo or "village idiot" looking to make a friend. If you associate with them, you will be instantly labeled and be "guilty by association." This has held true for every new job I have ever had. The first person who wants to show you around or go to lunch is always the office nut. The same is true in MMOs.

 

File this for future reference and you'll find it true in almost every new situation.

Edited March 20, 2012 by Owsley

[Nuvem]

Ok, about a week ago, I met a nice fellow on Korriban who helped me out with a few heroics. I was grateful he did because, being a complete noob (and idiot) I was finding the entire game a tad overwhelming.

So I found my feet afterwards and got talking to the chap - he is a fine man, doesnt speak a whole lot of english but was perfectly understandable and fun to group with.

 

So whats the problem? I hear y'all ask.

 

 

After he helped me with a few more heroics, he asked me for help - fine, I dont mind, ive already done em but you've done so much for me, i'll help you out!

Somehow me helping him do two heroics ment I should now follow him around healing him why he quests. He hasnt really said that specifically, but he will tell me "Come" and then "Follow me plz" and then proceed to run around doing random quests and collection stuff.

 

I said to him "Dude, I cant follow you around all the time, I need to go and quest over here!"

He replied "Ok, I help you :)" and he did.

 

Still not seeing a problem? Ok, two days ago,m he was waiting for me online (weirdly in front of the exact random place I logged out the night before) and simply invited me to a group and said "Lets quest together! :)"

"Uh... ok but I really need to go to fle-"

"Come, follow!" SHARESHARESHARE a bucket load of new quests on a planet I hadnt even been to yet.

"Do you buy this from me? 20k!" He said linking some purple armor I couldnt wear.

"I cant wear it."

"15k!"

 

I said no and he went through an entire list of purple and blue items until he finally said, again "Follow!" I followed him around again, doing various quests but really I wanted to get away and do my own thing. I said to him "Ok, lets split up. I need to go do this and you can keep questing :)"

He replied "Ok, I come help you."

So yesterday, frustrated that he was eating up all my time again, I faked a connection death and did some work around the house. Im still ashamed of it, I left him hanging, but for the past week, everyday ive come on with limited time to play has been eaten up following him around!

 

Three hours when I came back online, guess who was stood exactly infront of me! Thats right! THREE HOURS! He'd waited for me for THREE HOURS and said "Hi, come! :)"

 

What can I do? He wont go away! ...I started playing an alt, but I really want to play my main character - I thought "I'll just play it a few days until he logs off, he'll move on then." But he hasnt. I went to where I last logged out with my main and he is standing there, waiting for me!

 

I really dont want to put him on ignore - he is a nice guy afterall, he doesnt talk that much and he did help me all those times. I just dont want to spend every second of my playtime with him.

Ive told him this and he said "Ok, I follow you." I made excuses to split up and he says "Ok, I come help you!"

 

ITS DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!

 

So I need advice; What do I do? Apart from making an alt with the same character and starting again, I cant see a way out of this. You guys got any advice to help?

 

sadly in mmo Friends/Social < Someone you can suck the blood and use to reach your goals

 

He is "friendly", okay but I would /ignore anyway. Sad but...

[Natarii]

Anyone who A) doesnt realize that 75% of all female characters in MMOs are actually played by men, and B) think that following someone around occasionally helping them quest makes them BF/GF should probably re-evaluate why they are gaming. Language barrier or no, this shows extremely poor social skills and lack of any self esteem whatsoever. I feel sorry for the person behind the stalking toon if they feel this is the only way they'll ever receive the sort of social contact they so desire. (yes, i actually am a medical professional, and although phsychiatry is not my field of expertise, this is clearly abnormal behavior for anyone regardless of language) Edited March 20, 2012 by Natarii

[EraniBW]

ROTFL! So he was stalking you because he thought you were a girl? That's actually pretty scary. As a girl playing female toons, that sounds like cause for concern...I should watch out for stalkers then lol

 

Happy to see the situation seems to have been solved.

Edited March 20, 2012 by EraniBW

[Mirdthestrill]

I took an anthropology course years ago and the professor taught me a valuable life lesson that I've applied everytime I enter a new environment like a workplace, neighborhood, or social situation.

 

The first person to contact you in a new situation is a social outcast. Avoid them. They are usually the wierdo or "village idiot" looking to make a friend. If you associate with them, you will be instantly labeled and be "guilty by association." This has held true for every new job I have ever had. The first person who wants to show you around or go to lunch is always the office nut. The same is true in MMOs.

 

File this for future reference and you'll find it true in almost every new situation.

 

That's insulting. I'm a village idiot, and the social outcast is always the first one to make contact.

[narkedoff]

75% of all female characters in MMOs are actually played by men,

MMO = Mostly Men Online

MMORPG = Mostly Men Online Role Playing Girls

 

OK this guy must have been new to MMO's is all I can think (as well as a bit odd, Im pretty sure girls dont like being stalked online either). I think the most hassle ive had playing a female char was getting a pm "Hey baby u look cute do u wanna cyber?" to which I replied "I have a beard IRL... think about that"

 

@ OP.. glad u finally got it sorted...... but what an odd way for it to end.....

[Burana]

Did you ask how old he is? I had very similar experience interacting with some 8-12 year old players back in WoW, usually children of my friends from the guild. That included purchasing some overpriced stuff and running them through quests.

 

The egocentric behavior of your new friend indicates that he is either very young (and with this he can know well how to play the game), or he is indeed extremely infantile and egocentric. Don't be rude with him, just gently say that you are busy or that you have to log out soon. He may well be a 10 year old lacking attention from his parents.

[Burana]

He was waiting for me again and instantly whispered me "Hi Lets quest!" and I replied "No."

I got a "???" and a few group invites I declined and turned away to begin questing where I left off. He sent me another whisper saying "Ok :(" and I put him on ignore.

 

Fast forward 30 minutes, I run out to quest on Tatooine and im not really paying attention as I go along, doing random quests. I finish a few and head back to turn them in and, turning around, I see him run behind a rock (I kid you not!) so - to prove to myself I wasnt being paranoid - I mounted up and dide a huge figure 8 around the map and just like the mafia, he is two cars behind me, following me.

When I stopped, he would dash behind the nearest piece of scenery and wait until I started moving again.

To what end, I had no idea - he wasnt even helping me kill mobs - he just followed me around.

 

Yep, your stalker is definitely a lonely kid. When a child wants to play with you, but you are busy, he/she brings his little chair and big book, sits next to you while you are working at your laptop, and says "I'll wait until you are free and we can play". It can drive you mad.

[AngryBuddhist]

Did you ask how old he is? I had very similar experience interacting with some 8-12 year old players back in WoW, usually children of my friends from the guild. That included purchasing some overpriced stuff and running them through quests.

 

The egocentric behavior of your new friend indicates that he is either very young (and with this he can know well how to play the game), or he is indeed extremely infantile and egocentric. Don't be rude with him, just gently say that you are busy or that you have to log out soon. He may well be a 10 year old lacking attention from his parents.

 

This ^^^^

 

Remeber when you deal with people who act like 8 year olds... they may very well be 8 year olds.

 

Would you be a dick to an 8 yr old IRL?