knightnvy Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 how about sending an invite is asking... and when you decline its you saying no... not that hard, man some people... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcaptainpants Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 Irony? What in the world are you referring to??? Let's look at how the OP disagrees with someone: I respect your point of view, however I disagree. Now, let's contrast that with how you disagree with someone: Wow, just like in game, you want to control how people do stuff of the forums..... interesting. Explains some things. The OP has been nothing but polite and respectful even when disagreeing with people. I really don't get all the attitude here. On topic, one of the criticisms I see all the time is how the community ingame isn't very social. In my opinion, being social doesn't mean wordlessly spamming invites. It is initiating a friendly conversation with someone, finding out what their objective is, and then asking whether or not the person would like to achieve said objective together. I'm aware that that probably seems like a lot of effort for some people. But really, wordlessly spamming invites and then running from goal to goal isn't really being social, its just dragging someone else along in your single-player RPG. It makes everything feel so rushed. Its like "OMG, we have to hurry and complete these objectives so we can max-level our characters!! There's no time to TALK!!!" My opinion, of course. It doesn't mean that I think people shouldn't play that way if that is their preference. But I happen to agree with the OP. Except for waiting for obvious respawns, group invites should be preceded by a greeting of some kind. The world shouldn't be in such a hurry that basic pleasantries need to be abandoned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strina Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 how about sending an invite is asking... and when you decline its you saying no... not that hard, man some people... This, oh God this! If there was an upvote option on these forums, you would have 4 from me. I don't know how, but I would provide them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kabjat Posted January 29, 2012 Author Share Posted January 29, 2012 Actually yes, I'm the same as the OP. When I'm doing something other than waiting/looking for a group an invite appearing in the middle of my screen is as annoying as an update stealing my cursor while I'm working in word or excel. Before you send me an invite I want to know what you intend or want to do (some times it's obvious, like if we are camping a spawn point and requires no conversation). If I get a random invite and I have no idea what the objective of the group is (which heroic or flashpoint) then I never accept. I don't accept and then ask "what are we doing?" I want to know before hand or I don't group. THIS ^^^^ honestly, to the people who have responded aggressively to this sentiment, I have to wonder why you feel that way? Why do you feel affronted by this? Keep in mind that I sincerely wish to know. All the reasons have been laid out pretty thoroughly already in this thread as to why ninja inviting is annoying....and those of us who DO find it annoying have all pretty much agreed (on this thread anyway) that if the objective is obvious, like killing a big boss elite that everyone needs then inviting without explanation is ok. What the debate is centered around is just inviting someone without a word of explanation if it is not immediately obvious or apparent what that player is doing. Why is this done? Why can the person simply not whisper and ASK first? So far, I haven't gotten a straight answer to this >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surakis Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 The OP has been nothing but polite and respectful even when disagreeing with people. I'd say you are over-looking posts then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gohlar Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 how about sending an invite is asking... and when you decline its you saying no... not that hard, man some people... lol seriously Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazzer Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 how about sending an invite is asking... and when you decline its you saying no... not that hard, man some people... Only if the objective of the group is obvious, if you have no idea why the invite is being sent then it is different. For some people the objective of the group is more important than the group itself so I need to know what you wish to do before i accept your invite. Maybe I do wish to group with you, maybe I don't, maybe I want to group with the next person that asks me as the tasks that you want to do don't interest me. If I accept your invite and spend the next 5 minutes finding out that you don't want to do the content that I want to do I have missed an invite from someone who does. Also it removes my ability to choose which group to join if more than 1 is asking for members. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EternalFinality Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 For me, depends on the situation. If we're all standing around waiting on a spawn that we have to kill, just invite me already. I've had several groups that have formed, killed the mob and disbanded without so much as a word. If I'm out questing in the world and you want me to join your FP, or you need a hand with something and your randomly working your way down the who list, then ask me first. Exactly. If I see people clearly waiting for a quest mob to respawn that I also need, I invite them without a word. They accept - and I say "So we can both get credit." We kill the mob, disband, and move on. Nothing rude about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aria Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 (edited) One of the weird swtor players who untill wonder that not single-player game, but still playing like it's KotOR 3 and everywhere just a NPC. Click on the invite button is esiest way to add someone to party instead of start talking. If I see the someone who kill the same mobs as I need it - I always invite him. And rarely it's someone like post-starter who blame me with the wisper "you so rude! I'm never accept inite without 10kB whispers" and so on. Just relax! It's only game. And I'm talking to your by party-chat, just accept to invite the party before. Think positively, make friendly to other players and everyone be alright. Yep its a MMO so we should toss common courtesy out the window. I have to agree with the OP 100% only takes a moment to send a PM and ask someone if they would like to join you, believe it or not being social is part of the mmo experience not the Kotor once. Edited January 29, 2012 by Aria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazzer Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 Exactly. If I see people clearly waiting for a quest mob to respawn that I also need, I invite them without a word. They accept - and I say "So we can both get credit." We kill the mob, disband, and move on. Nothing rude about that. And everybody has agreed with this point including the OP. The discussion is about when it's not obvious what the invite is for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surakis Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 Only if the objective of the group is obvious, if you have no idea why the invite is being sent then it is different. So can we boil your and the OP's demands down to: (1) Don't invite me to a group unless you precede such invite with a detailed explanation on why I would be grouping with you. **UNLESS** (2) I want to group but haven't communicated it to anyone yet. Then, the invite without a preceded detailed explanation is welcomed. That sum it up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kabjat Posted January 29, 2012 Author Share Posted January 29, 2012 You know why a person invites you in party and you refuse because he didn't ask first? Now THAT'S rude, the invite was totally fine. If the invite happens again right after the first one was declined, then the person inviting is being rude and I approve your second decline. Don't decline invites if you can see why the invite occurred. And if you insist on being polite then why don't YOU send a message saying something like "I'm not in a mood for grouping atm" or "I'd like to finish this one alone for more exp". You just decline, ignore and claim that the other guy was rude because he didn't ask. Oh please The words in red is centered around the point I am trying really hard to get through. Many times it isn't immediately obvious. And every time I always whisper them and ASK them "Why are you inviting?" or I say, "Is there something you need?" I never receive an answer....well today I did...the guy said, "Cuz I wanna win." lmao, I'm sorry. If people can't be bothered to be upfront, why would I group with them? Like I said in my FIRST POST, I would have gladly HELPED the guy if he'd just asked for help to begin with, even though I had already finished the heroic. His refusal to communicate to me even after I had ASKED what exactly he wanted made me not wish to group with him. Please tell me how I am in the wrong here? I will anxiously await your reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surakis Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 Yep its a MMO so we should toss common courtesy out the window. I have to agree with the OP 100% only takes a moment to send a PM and ask someone if they would like to join you, believe it or not being social is part of the mmo experience not the Kotor once. Takes even far less time to decline a group invite if one is not inclined to group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strina Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 (edited) The words in red is centered around the point I am trying really hard to get through. Many times it isn't immediately obvious. And every time I always whisper them and ASK them "Why are you inviting?" or I say, "Is there something you need?" I never receive an answer....well today I did...the guy said, "Cuz I wanna win." lmao, I'm sorry. If people can't be bothered to be upfront, why would I group with them? Like I said in my FIRST POST, I would have gladly HELPED the guy if he'd just asked for help to begin with, even though I had already finished the heroic. His refusal to communicate to me even after I had ASKED what exactly he wanted made me not wish to group with him. Please tell me how I am in the wrong here? I will anxiously await your reply. Then those guys inviting you are complete morons and deserve a VIP place on your ignore list. See, even on forums you can change someones opinion. Happens rarely, but still happens Edited January 29, 2012 by Strina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazzer Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 So can we boil your and the OP's demands down to: (1) Don't invite me to a group unless you precede such invite with a detailed explanation on why I would be grouping with you. **UNLESS** (2) I want to group but haven't communicated it to anyone yet. Then, the invite without a preceded detailed explanation is welcomed. That sum it up? No that's a deliberate strawman representation. It comes down to: [1] Don't invite me to a group unless you ask if I am interested in grouping for X (a simple phrase of "do you need changing face quest?" is enough. [2] unless we are all obviously waiting for the same thing such as a single quest/elite spawn, standing at the spawn point and just need a kill loot credit. Even in instance [2] a wordless invite would only be required if the mob has already spawned, if you have to wait a few minutes for a spawn it's still polite to ask "wanna group" or something along those lines. I would probably already have asked you myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexthree Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 I always thought the invite was asking... Think about it in real life terms. Could you imagine? "If you want to invite me to a party, ASK ME first." What the hell do you think the word "invite" means, people? I suppose if it's not clear what the group is for it's fine to be a little confused. But raging out on the forums? Calling people who want to form groups unsociable? This thread is pretty weird. Try accepting and then asking what's up. If you don't want to do whateveritis, leave the group. Don't act like the inviter is committing some social faux pas because YOU don't want to instigate the conversation. If someone spams you invite after you decline- that is worth complaining about, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexia-Moi-Voss Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 Every declines party invite do the more people ignoring multyplayers gaming in the future. Every players who prefer solo-gaming kills SWtOR gaming community. Every day that anyone can't find party make decision to cancel subscription easier. So, come on, play like its solo-game but do not whine that server population decimate after several months. It's simple but weird people can't think about it. ^ so full of fail i don't know where to begin as for this i agree, though i've never had the problems of random invites and i've only ever blind invited people when it is obvious we are doing the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazzer Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 I always thought the invite was asking... Think about it in real life terms. Could you imagine? "If you want to invite me to a party, ASK ME first." What the hell do you think the word "invite" means, people? The difference between sending an invite that says "come to my birthday party on the 21st at the community hall, open bar" and "come to the community hall on the 21st". The 1st invitation would get a polite reply and the 2nd would get the waste paper basket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabarok Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 Only if the objective of the group is obvious, if you have no idea why the invite is being sent then it is different. For some people the objective of the group is more important than the group itself so I need to know what you wish to do before i accept your invite. Maybe I do wish to group with you, maybe I don't, maybe I want to group with the next person that asks me as the tasks that you want to do don't interest me. If I accept your invite and spend the next 5 minutes finding out that you don't want to do the content that I want to do I have missed an invite from someone who does. Also it removes my ability to choose which group to join if more than 1 is asking for members. So blind invites are bad because you might miss someone else's blind invite? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surakis Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 No that's a deliberate strawman representation. It comes down to: [1] Don't invite me to a group unless you ask if I am interested in grouping for X (a simple phrase of "do you need changing face quest?" is enough. [2] unless we are all obviously waiting for the same thing such as a single quest/elite spawn, standing at the spawn point and just need a kill loot credit. Even in instance [2] a wordless invite would only be required if the mob has already spawned, if you have to wait a few minutes for a spawn it's still polite to ask "wanna group" or something along those lines. I would probably already have asked you myself. My post was correct and hardly a "strawman". You don't want blind invites unless you want them. You simply couch them in the "obvious" you would want them category. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazzer Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 So blind invites are bad because you might miss someone else's blind invite? No I find blind invites bad policy full stop. If I accept an invite and then spend time negotiating with group to include what I wish to do along with their own plans and it turns out that it's not going to happen (which means I will leave) any groups being advertised in general chat I will have to ignore or risk being rude myself by dumping them to join another group that better suits my needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conri Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 This happens a lot to me too, it's awkward to get an invite and no social interaction at all. It also happens with guild invites, no whisper no asking just a pop up out of the blue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kabjat Posted January 29, 2012 Author Share Posted January 29, 2012 Then those guys inviting you are complete morons and deserve a VIP place on your ignore list. See, even on forums you can change someones opinion. Happens rarely, but still happens Haha xD I'll say right now, on these forums I have been very very wrong. I can be sanctimonious and come off as self righteous. I don't think anyone who posts their opinion on the forums is 'wrong' just the delivery can clutter up the point they are trying to make. Annnnnd perhaps my OP came off as a bit snooty. >.> It is sincerely not my intention to come off that way. I'm actually very laid back and I LOVE to group up with people. I guess the incident earlier today got to me so I RAN TO THE FORUMS!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazzer Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 My post was correct and hardly a "strawman". You don't want blind invites unless you want them. You simply couch them in the "obvious" you would want them category. If you'd read my post, I don't want blind invites at all, but consider a quick blind invite less rude than kill stealing a mob I am waiting for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodanth_The_Wise Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 exhibit A Love the subtlety. I lol'd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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