if you want to invite me to party, ASK ME first.

[Matte_Black]

Do you often in real life get the question about going to a party or whatever, before you get the invite?

 

Not from strangers.

[Richelieux]

Usually i'll ask first. Unless it's obvious that we're after the same mob for the same quest. Then I'll just invite. Same with when people invite me. If it's obvious that we're on the same quest; I'll accept. If you're killing the same elite mob that someone else needs for the same quest, and they invite without asking; Just accept. You know why they are inviting you. So don't be a d*ck and get all pissy about them not asking.

 

Agree 100% with this.

[Jezmondene]

I recall, for example, a loading screen tip from WoW. It went something along the lines of: "It is considered polite to talk to someone before inviting them to a group or requesting a trade with them."

For what it's worth, that may be considered memo, sent by a longstanding, much-played MMO ; )

 

I just saw that tip yesterday on a SWTOR loading screen. Out questing when it is obvious we both/all need the same mob/s, I don't mind a blind invite, but for Heroics/Flashpoints and OPs I just decline invites when I haven't been asked first. I also decline when a trade screen pops up and someone whispers, "I need credits."

Edited January 30, 2012 by Jezmondene

[Irusan]

One thing for sure this game will teach you, "common sense" and "common decency" are not so common. Go read the thread about rolling need on items not for your class for a little taste. I guess it's really more an observation about our society than SWTOR. I have become my father, I think, because I'm always thinking stuff like "These kids today, I swear." Feels bad, man.

[Tovenar]

Requesting Permission to Begin Discussion with you.

[Rogoo]

Requesting Permission to Begin Discussion with you.

 

Permission denied. You are not worthy, and clearly not polite and civil enough.

[BigBadEdward]

Yeah, I really hate when people invite me so quests can be completed twice as fast, with extra experience.

 

What's the hurry?

 

I'm a tourist (sometimes called an explorer). I like to wander around, look at the scenery, take my time. Without fail, when I'm in a PUG, the game turns into a freaking race, run to this, jump on that mob, kill it quick, quick, quick, run to the next thing, don't read the dialogue, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, HURRY, HURRY HURRY!!

 

I simply don't want to play like that. There is about a 99.99999% chance that anyone who sends me an invite without a tell is going to expect that kind of game play.

[Sureth]

(...) For example, if someone is in imperial fleet saying LFG <instance> and I am forming a group for that instance I will send them a party invite and start introducing the group and myself. I probably won't do that again knowing there is a whole big thread devoted to this.

If someone is saying they're looking for a group (to you personally, in /General Chat, or via the LFG-tag), and you send them an invite, you are sending that invite as requested.

 

I fail to see how this example is relevant to a thread that is discussing the way people experience random, blind invites? The invite in your example, isn't random or blind in any way.

 

 

Orginally posted by Irusan

One thing for sure this game will teach you, "common sense" and "common decency" are not so common. Go read the thread about rolling need on items not for your class for a little taste. I guess it's really more an observation about our society than SWTOR. (...)

Oh, have I read that thread .. Wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry : S

[Lajkos]

I have taken the liberty to circumvent the obvious retorts to my post with the following hypothetical questions:

 

"If you don't wanna be invited to groups, you should just go play a single-player game."

 

No. I don't mind being invited to groups. What I do mind is someone inviting me to party without showing me the courtesy of ASKING me first if I wish to party with them.

 

"Turn on auto-decline group invites if you are such an anti-social person. Gawd, it's an MMO, people group to do stuff."

 

I love to group with people in order to meet a common objective. In fact, I am usually quite enthusiastic to party up with other players...provided they are willing to behave in a social manner themselves by being POLITE. It's RUDE to ninja-invite. Is it so hard to WHISPER someone and ask them if they even WANT to do the same thing you are doing?

 

And incidentally, I HAVE toggled auto-decline after today...didn't even know it was an option till my husband showed me. It cheeses me off that I have to and that people are so socially stunted that they can't be bothered to ASK first.

 

I'm all for efficiency. But when someone just spams me with his party invite without any regard to what I may be doing, it just makes me NOT want to party with him on principle alone. Like, even if I do want to do the same thing he wants to do, Saving Face, Personal Challenge, whatever....if he sends an invite without asking first, it's a forgone conclusion that I will NOT group with that person.

 

Agree 100%

[Uluain]

I must say with the attitude those who don't want to whisper at all have in this thread i'm quite happy to continue declining their cold invites. They're not really the sort of people i want to play with anyway.

^ This

 

Talk to me first.

 

Again, the exception is where one is waiting for the bonus mission boss respawn. I will send, and accept, blind invites in that circumstance.

 

Otherwise, I expect a polite message beforehand. No, the invite to group does not convey this. I find it intrusive and off-putting.

[TiggaHarley]

I had someone invite me without any messages beforehand. I hit decline.

Reinvites me again. Again i hit decline.

 

I then get a PM stating something along the lines of " Its an MMO, so you are susposed to group and help people out when asked."

 

I respond " I do group but I am handing in quests and going to bed , its 4am"

 

Reply from XXX " Whatever *****-whole, your a complete d_ _ k. You are right here and i need help with these quests"

 

I respond " So i should just drop whatever I am doing, forget that i am tired and want to sleep just so i can help you"

 

Reply from XXX "Whatever you waste of a life. Have fun in your mom's basement and enjoy having no social life because you cant understand how MMOs work"

 

After that I never responded and just was in complete amazement that someone that wanted assistance never once asked in General for group, just blindly sent me an invite and then goes on a rampage about everything. I was laughing and went on to tell my several guildmates the story. Have screenies of it but at work right now.

[wilsonstone]

You should post the screenies. It was probably one of the people in this very thread advocating blind invites.

[mrcaptainpants]

What's odd in this thread is the prevailing attitude that someone inviting me to a party is somehow doing me a huge favor.

 

Now, sometimes they are. In the case where you approach someone who is already there waiting for a quest boss to respawn, if they send you a blind invite its because they are trying to be nice and want to make sure you get the credit for the kill as well. If they wanted to be a jerk, they'd just tag it when it respawned make you wait for it to respawn again. However...THIS HAS ALREADY BEEN AGREED ON BY NEARLY EVERYONE AS AN APPROPRIATE USE OF A BLIND INVITE.

 

However, the people who are giving out all these insulting and hostile responses in this thread (which are not necessary, by the way; you can make your point without calling people names) seem to be the ones who are sending out blind invites because they want someone to help them do a quest. Stop treating real people like they are NPCs that will help you just because you click on them.

 

Sending a blind invite is NOT "asking". You may think it is, because you know what you're trying to accomplish, what quest you are on, what your objective is, and so on. But the other person is not privy to that information; you've asked them to group up without telling them why. And the really hostile people in this thread are acting as if we don't need to know why they want our help, we should just shut up and help them.

 

To me, that seems a bit entitled. You don't automatically deserve someone's time and assistance just because you clicked on them. Again: People are not NPCs.

 

If you want help, you ask for it. Its the polite thing to do. Sheesh.

[Democratus]

Sending a blind invite is NOT "asking". You may think it is, because you know what you're trying to accomplish, what quest you are on, what your objective is, and so on. But the other person is not privy to that information; you've asked them to group up without telling them why. And the really hostile people in this thread are acting as if we don't need to know why they want our help, we should just shut up and help them.

 

Or, you could simply click the 'Decline' button and be on your way. No drama needed.

 

If you are operating from the assumption that every invite to a group is a hostile act - that's on you, not the other player.

[mrcaptainpants]

Or, you could simply click the 'Decline' button and be on your way. No drama needed.

 

If you are operating from the assumption that every invite to a group is a hostile act - that's on you, not the other player.

 

First, I'm making no such assumption. If you read my other responses in this thread, you would know that I've said that I realize the person sending the invite is not trying to be rude. And I've never said anything even remotely close to implying that its a "hostile" act. So...you are the one making assumptions here, about me. Um...please stop?

 

Secondly, I do click the "Decline" button. With no drama. In fact, I don't even know what you mean by "drama". I don't understand where this need to exaggerate this issue comes from.

 

Its a small thing. Really, it is. Yeah, I don't like it when people send me a blind invite, but I'm never rude to the person because I realize it was almost surely an innocent request that they didn't intend to be rude. That's why threads like this can be positive thing, where both sides can try to see where the other side is coming from, which I have attempted to do on many occasions in this very thread. I'm sure many people never thought about the fact that sending a blind invite puts the person in a position of having to accept a group request without any knowledge of what the objective is, and that some people do not care for that.

 

All I'm asking is that we all try to understand each other's position better. That is all. And you can do that without making sarcastic quips and assumptions about individual posters.

[Kabjat]

Anyone who declines an invite because I "have to ask first", gets instantly ignored. Your being a pompous **** and I dont have time to deal with uppity idiots in the little bit of time I actually get to play.

 

Well, I can't say I would instantly ignore someone for blind inviting me to a group.

 

But I'm going to apply your logic to MY point of view.

 

To me, the player who ninja invites is being a 'pompous jerk' for making the ASSUMPTION that I even have the TIME to do what ever it is he wants me to do.

 

After all, I could be about to log off or only have time to do what I wish to do which does NOT include partying with someone at that time. You really have no way of KNOWING, do you? Because wordlessly inviting me does not supply you with that information. So I decline your invite.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you write anyone off as selfish and an uppity idiot for daring to NOT perform as your personal NPC and jump to your summons, regardless of what THEY are currently doing.

 

Please BY ALL MEANS DO place me on ignore for declining your blind invite. It will assure that our paths never cross. I have little patience for people who think the world revolves around them.

[Elkard]

This is what people must think when they see me questing on Ilum while healing Khem. "OMG ITS A HEALZZZ I WONDER IF THEYLL DO HEROICS WIT ME???"

 

Spams invites. I explain I'm doing the heroics with my guild later. He sits there and gets cross eyed and types stupid responses that I can't understand while STILL inviting me. Auto-decline is on now. It's annoying but I have to deal with it.

 

Edit: To clarify he invited me 3 times before saying anything to me about declining them.

 

I wonder how someone like this made it to level 50, and got gear? Since there are no bridges to form squill partys on, I do a lot of things alone. It is standard courtesy to ask before inviting.

[sevalaricgirl]

I always accept unless I'm waiting for my guild. I want people to ask because there are heroics that I skip because no one is around or my guild members have already done them. I don't need to be asked, just send me an invite and I'll say yes or no and only no when I have something pending. Character Amileih on The Ebon Hawk, Republic Commando.

[TUXs]

Gosh...just decline it. No need to criticize people for trying to start a group in an MMO.

[Kabjat]

What's the hurry?

 

I'm a tourist (sometimes called an explorer). I like to wander around, look at the scenery, take my time. Without fail, when I'm in a PUG, the game turns into a freaking race, run to this, jump on that mob, kill it quick, quick, quick, run to the next thing, don't read the dialogue, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, HURRY, HURRY HURRY!!

 

I simply don't want to play like that. There is about a 99.99999% chance that anyone who sends me an invite without a tell is going to expect that kind of game play.

 

Good reasoning and very good point.

 

I am reminded of a previous poster in this thread who mentioned a time he received a blind invite and on a whim decided to accept it. He went about his way doing what he'd been doing when the invite appeared. No words exchanged. Some five minutes elapsed, no conversation. He waited, just to see if the person who'd issued the blind invite would EVER clue him in on the reason he wished to group. Finally, "Dude, why you way over there??" The guy answers, "I'm still wondering why you invited me to group."

 

I found this sadly familiar as I have accepted blind invites on the spot and then would JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY wait to see what happened or JUST what the person's expectations are. Especially when you are on other sides of the map. Usually after several minutes of silence the guy will demand why I'm not where he is, doing whatever it is he is doing. No matter that I have already completed the objective he is after. He clearly doesn't care.

 

I honestly don't get this attitude. It doesn't make sense to me.

[daemian]

Anyone who declines an invite because I "have to ask first", gets instantly ignored. Your being a pompous **** and I dont have time to deal with uppity idiots in the little bit of time I actually get to play.

 

That probably works out for the best for both parties.

[mrcaptainpants]

Gah!!!

 

We're saying that sending a /tell before a group invite is the accepted etiquette in the mmorpg universe. It has been this way for ages. I think what is happening is that we're getting a huge influx of new players who understandably do not know these rules of etiquette.

 

And you know what? Its okay that you don't know the rules of etiquette. How are you supposed to know until someone tells you? That said, when someone does tell you, it would be polite of you to listen and not get hostile or defensive.

 

Think we're making stuff up? FIne. How's this for substance?

 

MMORPG Etiquette guide from Ten Ton Hammer:

 

When you invite someone to a group or a guild, have the decency to send a tell first. Don't you want to know what or who you are inviting to where? One of the most annoying things you can have happen is to be running along and for no good reason get a guild or group invite window pop up in your face. I can't emphasize this enough, "SEND A TELL FIRST!" What good does it do a person to join a blind group invite only to have to leave it because they don't want to go where you are going

 

MMORPG Etiquette guide from Massively.com:

 

I love surprises, but surprise guild invites or group invites from people I've never met always get rejected. Don't be that guy.

 

MMORPG Etiquette guide from ChrisPirillo.com:

 

Don’t pester people with team invitations. If you want to invite someone, do the polite thing and send them a private message with the /tell command. This allows you to see if they would like to join your team. If they are not interested, or they are doing something else, wish them luck. Sometimes, they wish you luck back. If you invite first, you may end up getting ignored.

 

MMORPG Etiquette guide from Ezinearticles.com:

 

Before inviting someone to a group, talk to them. One of the biggest pet peeves people have in MMORPGs is the blind invite. When applied to real life, how do you think a stranger would react if you pulled up beside them in your car and demanded they get in? My guess is the cops would be called and havoc would ensue.

 

MMORPG Etiquette guide from Jedilama.com:

 

Generally, the MMO community considers it polite to talk to someone first before you invite him to a group, try to duel, invite him to a guild, or otherwise initiate an action that will interrupt his play with a little pop-up message on his screen.

 

Is that enough ? Have I made my point? Guys, I'm really sincerely sorry if some of you are taking this personally. I know no one is intending to be rude. But we're not a bunch of drama queens making stuff up. What we are asking for has been an accepted part of MMORPG culture for literally years now.

 

If you disagree with it, fine. If you want to challenge its relevancy in today's mmo culture, that's fine. Please do so...POLITELY. But please stop acting like we're pulling this out of thin air.

 

We're not.

Edited January 30, 2012 by mrcaptainpants

[Bluestone]

I agree, I have even had people get mad at me for declining unannounced party invitations.

 

I tend to get them most when waiting for a bonus objectives boss to spawn and the someone else runs up and spams me invites that I keep declining until they ask to party.

 

It's certainly not a game breaker but in my opinion the people who don't bother to ask before sending a party invite are generally not the sort of people I want to party with anyway.

 

Also duel requests. Ask first, because usually I'm busy and if you ask I can finish what I'm doing before the duel.

[daemian]

Gah!!! <snip>

 

Great post, I enjoyed that.

[TUXs]

Gah!!!

 

We're saying that sending a /tell before a group invite is the accepted etiquette in the mmorpg universe. It has been this way for ages. I think what is happening is that we're getting a huge influx of new players who understandably do not know these rules of etiquette.

 

And you know what? Its okay that you don't know the rules of etiquette. How are you supposed to know until someone tells you? That said, when someone does tell you, it would be polite of you to listen and not get hostile or defensive.

 

Think we're making stuff up? FIne. How's this for substance?

 

MMORPG Etiquette guide from Ten Ton Hammer:

 

 

 

MMORPG Etiquette guide from Massively.com:

 

 

 

MMORPG Etiquette guide from ChrisPirillo.com:

 

 

 

MMORPG Etiquette guide from Ezinearticles.com:

 

 

 

MMORPG Etiquette guide from Jedilama.com:

 

 

 

Is that enough ? Have I made my point? Guys, I'm really sincerely sorry if some of you are taking this personally. I know no one is intending to be rude. But we're not a bunch of drama queens making stuff up. What we are asking for has been an accepted part of MMORPG culture for literally years now.

 

If you disagree with it, fine. If you want to challenge its relevancy in today's mmo culture, that's fine. Please do so...POLITELY. But please stop acting like we're pulling this out of thin air.

 

We're not.

 

And we're saying it's a GAME, not a way of life or secondary culture for most of us, so those links you posted mean nothing.

 

Join or don't. Doesn't bother me.

 

If I don't send you a tell first and you get upset about it, go play by yourself. I really DO NOT CARE. I don't think ANYONE invites you to their group to be an a-hole...most do it to be courteous as there are only so many quests in an area and if you're OBVIOUSLY on the same one, group up.

 

Me sending you an invite doesn't obligate you to do anything you don't wanna do. You don't have to be my buddy, I'm not adding you to my friends list and I won't get upset if you don't reply to my /whispers - all it means is I assume we're going after the same objectives and rather than fighting you for them, I'd rather include you.

 

This is seriously one of the most ridiculous things I've seen someone complain about.