Zaodon's PvP Guide to Crying for Nerfs

[Brytag]

great post, would read again

[CurtisKilljoy]

This thread has my vote on one of the best uses of hilarious sarcasm in SWTOR ever.

 

 

@Mertissielle

Your Sig Made me laugh even more though. This sums up nerf flame posts even better.

[Mehwink]

All sorts of win here.

[joemacc]

Best thread ever!

[BoDiE]

This thread has my vote on one of the best uses of hilarious sarcasm in SWTOR ever.

 

 

@Mertissielle

Your Sig Made me laugh even more though. This sums up nerf flame posts even better.

Hilarious? You need to get out more.

 

Great post OP.

[Zaodon]

Best thread ever!

 

Thanks.

[Torn]

+10000000

 

Love it

[Vealage]

Bahahahahahahahahahaha.

 

+23 internets for you sir.

[Macabrae]

This thread is epic and if you look even at current threads you see what the OP said in every thread.

[cashogy]

hopefully more and more threads like these discourage the qq threads. getting sick and tired of how every class is OP at something

[VirgiI]

The sad part is that a bunch of people apparently followed your guide and now Operatives/Scoundrels will be useless . The problem is we all thought there was no way Bioware would fall for this crap..

[OmySpy]

Thanks so much! This was really the only aspect of this that I felt behind on, and now with this guide I can catch up and be competitive.

[cycao]

my two co workers keep looking over at me for laughing so hard at this.

 

 

bravo sir

[jamescloutier]

*Golf clap*

 

Well played sir, well played.

[bakedpotter]

Welcome to Zaodon's PvP Guide to Crying for Nerfs!

 

The following is a guide you should follow whenever you want to create "Nerf (class goes here)" threads in this forum.

 

1. Have Selective Memory

If you see an opponent attacking a team mate and kill them easily, only to get ganked by that same opponent 2 minutes later when they pop out of nowhere and attack you while you're engaged with 3 other enemies and at 65% health with no cooldowns left, you need to engage in something called "Selective Memory". You must block out the fact that they were an easy kill a few moments ago, and only complain on the forums about how they easily killed you. Use the terms "insane", "overpowered", and "ridiculous" to make your point stick.

 

2. Ignorance is Bliss

Never go to fan websites, wiki's or other sources of information to learn about all classes, abilities and talents. Never. By remaining ignorant of the actual features of SWTOR, you can claim things that are simply untrue/impossible. Examples include "He knocked me down and landed 7 attacks before I got up", "I'm a lvl 50 tank-spec with 60 valor and full PvP gear and he 3-shotted me", or "I was chain-stunned by him 5 times in a row and died."

 

3. Wield Your Ego

Claim to be the absolute best player in the world at SWTOR and PvP. Provide examples of how you "pwned" 5 people at once the "other day", and how you scored in Huttball with "the entire other team beating on you". Then claim that the class you want to nerf can beat you at will, and therefore since you are sooooo "uber", there is no possible way they could defeat you unless their class was OP.

 

4. Deny Reality

Even though SWTOR PvP is team based, you must never, ever admit this, no matter what you do. Use the term "1v1" constantly, to the point of nauseum. Never admit that all Warzones are won or lost as a team.

 

5. Exploit n00bs

As with all MMOs, SWTOR will have a lot of players who are not great at PvP, but will enter Warzones to try it out for the fun of it. But, the reality is, these people are n00bs and will not be very good at it. Your job is to deny this, and claim that every single player in a PvP zone is an expert, who never makes mistakes, never does n00bish things, has perfect tactics and strategies, and is top ranked. When these "experts" are getting killed a lot in PvP (and make sure you have videos of this happening), use that as "evidence" that the class you want to nerf is "overpowered" because they must be if they are killing all these "PvP Vets".

 

6. Anecdotal Evidence is Key

If there is a class you want to nerf, be sure to get some screenshots or videos which show how "overpowered" they are. Even though these classes will routinely score near the bottom of the scoreboard, wait until you are in a match where coincidence has them at the top (preferably, #1), and screenshot/fraps it. Use this as your "evidence" that all players of that class are "OP" and lack skills and use the easy button, and claim they "always" score at the top. If someone posts screenshots/videos of that class scoring poorly, claim that their screenshot/video is "an aberration", and that yours is the case in "virtually all warzones."

 

I have definitely taken note of all these methods. Thank you for your contribution to the game!!!! I employ at least 4 of these tactics daily and I always knew on was traveling the road to success.

[RG_jhanlec]

Welcome to Zaodon's PvP Guide to Crying for Nerfs!

 

The following is a guide you should follow whenever you want to create "Nerf (class goes here)" threads in this forum.

 

1. Have Selective Memory

If you see an opponent attacking a team mate and kill them easily, only to get ganked by that same opponent 2 minutes later when they pop out of nowhere and attack you while you're engaged with 3 other enemies and at 65% health with no cooldowns left, you need to engage in something called "Selective Memory". You must block out the fact that they were an easy kill a few moments ago, and only complain on the forums about how they easily killed you. Use the terms "insane", "overpowered", and "ridiculous" to make your point stick.

 

2. Ignorance is Bliss

Never go to fan websites, wiki's or other sources of information to learn about all classes, abilities and talents. Never. By remaining ignorant of the actual features of SWTOR, you can claim things that are simply untrue/impossible. Examples include "He knocked me down and landed 7 attacks before I got up", "I'm a lvl 50 tank-spec with 60 valor and full PvP gear and he 3-shotted me", or "I was chain-stunned by him 5 times in a row and died."

 

3. Wield Your Ego

Claim to be the absolute best player in the world at SWTOR and PvP. Provide examples of how you "pwned" 5 people at once the "other day", and how you scored in Huttball with "the entire other team beating on you". Then claim that the class you want to nerf can beat you at will, and therefore since you are sooooo "uber", there is no possible way they could defeat you unless their class was OP.

 

4. Deny Reality

Even though SWTOR PvP is team based, you must never, ever admit this, no matter what you do. Use the term "1v1" constantly, to the point of nauseum. Never admit that all Warzones are won or lost as a team.

 

5. Exploit n00bs

As with all MMOs, SWTOR will have a lot of players who are not great at PvP, but will enter Warzones to try it out for the fun of it. But, the reality is, these people are n00bs and will not be very good at it. Your job is to deny this, and claim that every single player in a PvP zone is an expert, who never makes mistakes, never does n00bish things, has perfect tactics and strategies, and is top ranked. When these "experts" are getting killed a lot in PvP (and make sure you have videos of this happening), use that as "evidence" that the class you want to nerf is "overpowered" because they must be if they are killing all these "PvP Vets".

 

6. Anecdotal Evidence is Key

If there is a class you want to nerf, be sure to get some screenshots or videos which show how "overpowered" they are. Even though these classes will routinely score near the bottom of the scoreboard, wait until you are in a match where coincidence has them at the top (preferably, #1), and screenshot/fraps it. Use this as your "evidence" that all players of that class are "OP" and lack skills and use the easy button, and claim they "always" score at the top. If someone posts screenshots/videos of that class scoring poorly, claim that their screenshot/video is "an aberration", and that yours is the case in "virtually all warzones."

 

Amazing post!

 

Usually problems in PvP are significantly more complex than the average joe, or even "theroycrafter" understand/are willing to admit.

 

Known bugs sometimes effect some classes more than others and make imbalance or the "OP class" seem one way or another.

 

Nevertheless, this post should be stamped, galvanized, inscribed, reposted, highlighted in any PvP forum or venue.

[Threid]

I enjoyed your guide, Zaodon. Thank you for taking the time to post it.

 

Of course, you should use the above-listed strategies, but framing your argument is also an important part of making your point. One tip I would add, perhaps as an addendum to number 6, is this: If the strategies you've listed haven't provoked an official response from Bioware, then post a thread pretending you are a member of your target class, calling for a nerf of your own class. Provide just enough information to convince similarly-misinformed people that you know what you're talking about, and employ the strategies listed by Zaodon. Please note that maintaining factual accuracy is not strictly necessary; feel free to compose your own anecdotal evidence; as long as you keep it somewhere near the realm of possibility, people will believe it.

 

Done correctly, you can portray anything but a nerf of your target class as a tragic injustice, while painting yourself as a heroic member of said class, willing to step down from the heights of dominance into the hoi polloi, for the sake of fairness and the mutual enjoyment of PvP by everyone. After all, you just want to play your class in a balanced, fair manner, but Bioware simply made your class too strong. For bonus points, call on other players of your class to admit that the class is overpowered.

Edited January 24, 2012 by Threid

[Zaodon]

I enjoyed your guide, Zaodon. Thank you for taking the time to post it.

 

Of course, you should use the above-listed strategies, but framing your argument is also an important part of making your point. One tip I would add, perhaps as an addendum to number 6, is this: If the strategies you've listed haven't provoked an official response from Bioware, then post a thread pretending you are a member of your target class, calling for a nerf of your own class. Provide just enough information to convince similarly-misinformed people that you know what you're talking about, and employ the strategies listed by Zaodon. Please note that maintaining factual accuracy is not strictly necessary; feel free to compose your own anecdotal evidence; as long as you keep it somewhere near the realm of possibility, people will believe it.

 

Done correctly, you can portray anything but a nerf of your target class as a tragic injustice, while painting yourself as a heroic member of said class, willing to step down from the heights of dominance into the hoi polloi, for the sake of fairness and the mutual enjoyment of PvP by everyone. After all, you just want to play your class in a balanced, fair manner, but Bioware simply made your class too strong. For bonus points, call on other players of your class to admit that the class is overpowered.

 

Good idea.

[Eager]

Now I know!

 

Reposting for truth in guild forums (with full credit and link, of course).

[Zaodon]

Now I know!

 

Reposting for truth in guild forums (with full credit and link, of course).

 

No problem.

 

(bumping this for usblues, read point 6)

[Zaodon]

Amazing post!

 

Usually problems in PvP are significantly more complex than the average joe, or even "theroycrafter" understand/are willing to admit.

 

Known bugs sometimes effect some classes more than others and make imbalance or the "OP class" seem one way or another.

 

Nevertheless, this post should be stamped, galvanized, inscribed, reposted, highlighted in any PvP forum or venue.

 

Thanks!

[EvoSapien]

Mods plesae sticky this.

[EvoSapien]

Sigging this, incidentally!

[AmratheAvenger]

Damn look at all these trolls, you need your own sticky for to all hang out in and talk about how this game is perfect and that there should be no QQ ever in the world.

[AmratheAvenger]

This thread gets 1/6 for really telling people that ur a huge troll. Ur QQ is bigger then. There just about different things. Bumping so mods close this down.