RudeDog Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 You have many times. Out right lie on your part. You've been insulting and condescending through out. You lack reading comprehension ability if you think the OP was being "insulting and condescending through out"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sureth Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) If you want someone to know that (s)he is doing something wrong then state it. Explain. (...) Instead she ignored that person and started a topic here about it. I don't need to know that - as I am a person who communicate - but if you want the message to be effective then send it directly to the people involved. To those who do these things you disapprove. Maccaroth, While I obviously cannot speak for the OP, I seem to share this pet peeve with her and I'm guessing her sentiments are similar to mine in this (should I be guilty of presuming too much, please by all means correct me). It isn't as if I'll fly into a red rage the second I detect a blind invite on my screen. I do not roar and dive for my /ignore button, smashing it so hard i have dents in my desk. The /ignore function does not come into it until after a decline, when the invites persist without communcation. Even then I've often turned to the repeat-inviter and asked him what he thought he was doing and/or how he thought this would make me react. Those starting abuse because I did not accept or because I /whisper them with my thoughts, yes, they make my usually very empty /ignore-list. You say she should communicate, express her view to the person. I personally cannot remember the amount of times I have /whispered people sending a blind invite (or trade or guildinvite etc) letting them know it'd have come across a lot better if they had asked / contacted me first with their request. Judging from her posts in this thread, I dare wager she's done similar on as many occasions. She eventually even took it a step further than I ever would have and communicated to a wider audience here on the forum. For this the price of abuse from closeminded people and the unavoidable trolls must be paid. For this, the reward of insight was gained as well, because luckily many also responded in a reasonable fashion, whether agreeing or disagreeing, and explained their point of view and experiences. In my opinion she has tried to communciate, and has kept commucations open as much as can be expected. Edited January 31, 2012 by Sureth typo correction and slight adjustment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcaptainpants Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 You lack reading comprehension ability if you think the OP was being "insulting and condescending through out"... Agreed. As in, I couldn't agree any more if I tried. Look, I'll try right now: <strains> Nope. Still can't agree with you any more than I already do. I am at maximum agreement right now. Kabjat has been exceedlingly polite thoughout this thread. She has even changed her opinion somewhat as the discussion has evolved and challenged her own views about what it means when people send a blind invite. She has welcomed the opinions of others and encouraged people to share their opinions even if they disagree with her. She has respected the opinions of others even if she disagrees with them. Insulting and condescending? Not even. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kazuhito Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) If you want someone to know that (s)he is doing something wrong then state it. Explain. Some people might acknowledge this and change their approach. No, its common sense that if you want help you explain what you want when asking for it. I'm busy doing my thing, why do I need to stop what I'm doing to explain to someone who has sent me a blind invite from across the map why I'm not going to join them? I'd be putting in more effort then they are into a exchange they instigated. You're putting more responsibility on the invitee the you are the inviter which i s backwards. Edited January 31, 2012 by Kazuhito Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TUXs Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 The part of your post I have colored green is exactly what I am going for in this thread. I really want people to understand each other. I have had to bite my tongue at the rudeness I and other posters in this thread have been dealt....totally undeserved. Perhaps I should edit my OP because I think I've been misunderstood. This is not a petty issue to me. That is why I started the thread. But just because I hold this viewpoint does NOT mean that I am not OPEN to understanding why people disagree with me. I just wish people wouldn't assume, throw insults, and ask questions later. I apologize if you feel my remarks were rude in any way, I assure you I was not trying to upset you. I can appreciate your view on the topic...I don't understand it, I do feel it's petty, but I'm not you and I'm honestly not passing judgement on your feelings on the subject - they're neither right nor wrong, they simply differ from mine. What I am trying to convey is that we (the SWTOR community) should ENCOURAGE more grouping. I absolutely love getting an invite if I'm standing outside a Heroic 4 that I went to, looking at the entrance trying to decide if it's worth asking my guild for help. I'd rather join several people who are already doing it, than to bother people who aren't. The main point I'm trying to get across is that everyone's situation is different and I HOPE you can try to not pass judgement on someone simply because they send a blind invite. I'm not talking about the guy who's at the spaceport spamming invites to everyone he see's or the guy who's demanding people spacebar cut-scenes...I'm talking about the few random invites from people who more than likely meant well with the invite. Community means more to MMOs than any amount of content any company could ever develop. I'm sure you're a good person, and one who ADDS to the community in ways very few do...because of that, try to be a leader and say "Thanks for the invite.", get a feel for their level of play and maybe then explain that blind invites work worse than a simple tell. Again, I can understand your feelings on the matter, I'm not suggesting you're wrong in feeling that blind invites are 'rude'ish', but I will also attest that MOST blind invites are not meant to upset you in any way...just the opposite in fact. I know that if I send one, it's because I genuinely feel that the person I'm inviting will BENEFIT from the invite...not that I can recall the last one I sent, but I'm sure I have sent them. tl;dr Don't pass judgement and try to exercise patience with people - we're not ALL out to get you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcaptainpants Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I apologize if you feel my remarks were rude in any way, I assure you I was not trying to upset you. I can appreciate your view on the topic...I don't understand it, I do feel it's petty, but I'm not you and I'm honestly not passing judgement on your feelings on the subject - they're neither right nor wrong, they simply differ from mine. What I am trying to convey is that we (the SWTOR community) should ENCOURAGE more grouping. I absolutely love getting an invite if I'm standing outside a Heroic 4 that I went to, looking at the entrance trying to decide if it's worth asking my guild for help. I'd rather join several people who are already doing it, than to bother people who aren't. The main point I'm trying to get across is that everyone's situation is different and I HOPE you can try to not pass judgement on someone simply because they send a blind invite. I'm not talking about the guy who's at the spaceport spamming invites to everyone he see's or the guy who's demanding people spacebar cut-scenes...I'm talking about the few random invites from people who more than likely meant well with the invite. Community means more to MMOs than any amount of content any company could ever develop. I'm sure you're a good person, and one who ADDS to the community in ways very few do...because of that, try to be a leader and say "Thanks for the invite.", get a feel for their level of play and maybe then explain that blind invites work worse than a simple tell. Again, I can understand your feelings on the matter, I'm not suggesting you're wrong in feeling that blind invites are 'rude'ish', but I will also attest that MOST blind invites are not meant to upset you in any way...just the opposite in fact. I know that if I send one, it's because I genuinely feel that the person I'm inviting will BENEFIT from the invite...not that I can recall the last one I sent, but I'm sure I have sent them. tl;dr Don't pass judgement and try to exercise patience with people - we're not ALL out to get you Now THAT'S how you disagree with someone. Well said, TUXs. See people? There is plenty of room to disagree with someone and still be respectful of them. TUXs just proved it. Nice post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deyjarl Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) Agreed. As in, I couldn't agree any more if I tried. Look, I'll try right now: <strains> Nope. Still can't agree with you any more than I already do. I am at maximum agreement right now. Kabjat has been exceedlingly polite thoughout this thread. She has even changed her opinion somewhat as the discussion has evolved and challenged her own views about what it means when people send a blind invite. She has welcomed the opinions of others and encouraged people to share their opinions even if they disagree with her. She has respected the opinions of others even if she disagrees with them. Insulting and condescending? Not even. Completely disagree. From the start in the OP she was insulting to those who she perceived as not agreeing. Sheer hypocrisy, and high horsemanship. From the very beginning. A few polite posts don't change the fact there were negative ones also. And going back and editing them out doesn't change that they were made also. So I guess it's not trolling its dishonesty after all. Edited January 31, 2012 by Deyjarl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TUXs Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Now THAT'S how you disagree with someone. Well said, TUXs. See people? There is plenty of room to disagree with someone and still be respectful of them. TUXs just proved it. Nice post. I only regret I came off as "angry" before to some. I'm not, I wasn't and I can't argue that it's the wrong way to feel...feelings are as personal as anything gets, so who the heck am I to tell anyone how they should 'feel'. I passionately believe grouping is GREAT for an MMO though, on so many levels, and I LOVE IT when someone besides myself takes the initiative to start a group...but that's "my" feelings on it. Like I said, I "understand" how it can be construed as 'rude'...I really do get that part, and it's largely why I would never send a blind invite myself (although I'm sure I have), but I also won't fault someone for sending one to me. I usually chalk it up to a kid or someone who thinks they're doing me a favor by not fighting over the same 'thing', even if it is just because I out level them, we both PROBABLY have a common goal and I'll accept it knowing that working WITH someone is 100x's better than fighting against them (PvP excluded ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberxeit Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 BW should change the invite system so that the person doing the inviting is required to check off the quest they want to do, or just a quick explanation of what they wanna group for, if the person being invited does not share any of the same quests as the one who is blind inviting. This way, the invitee can quickly ascertain the reasons without wondering. Everyone wins. Well, I'm not surprised. You are just selfish. It's truth. You want to play mmo like singleplayer games when everybody just NPC and doing only you want it from them. And even game mechanics must working only on your way. Ah, well. May we have asking your first before we can join to server where you play? It's ridiculous! If someone annoying you by many blind invites and ask nothing to your whisper - just ignore him. It's no need to make over 9000 posts on the forum. Sometimes I do blind invites to other people that killing same mobs on daily quest and someone tell me that I'm rude. And we killed twice more mobs separetaly. This is example of really rude and unfriendly behavior that destroying any mmo-comunity. Sometimes I whisper to person that spaming about looking ppl for some quest and they ask me nothing. And I just imagine that cause make them ignoring me, then I invite him. He declines and stay silence This is another example of really rude and unfriendly behavior that destroying any mmo-comunity. And so on. Singleplaying minded people dont know that its destroying their future gameplay. He still playing like swtor is another kotor. I see no probems with blind invites. You can just accept and see or decline. You can ask persons - what do they need. You can add him to ignore list if he spamming you with invites. It's no need another rules or tools for that. It's not really problem at all. Not like lagging, decreasing servers population or easy and short end-content. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snert Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I felt the same way in WoW when someone would just pop a lockbox into a trade window while I was playing my rogue..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcaptainpants Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) Completely disagree. From the start in the OP she was insulting to those who she perceived as not agreeing. Sheer hypocrisy, and high horsemanship. From the very beginning. A few polite posts don't change the fact there were negative ones also. And going back and editing them out doesn't change that they were made also. So I guess it's not trolling its dishonesty after all. Okay, let me see if I understand. 1. The tone of kabjat's original post offended you. Okay, got it. 2. As the discussion continued, Kabjat expressed that she now understood the other point of view better and realized that what she perceived at first to be rude probably wasn't intended to be. 3. Having heard other people's viewpoints, she admitted where her original post may have come off the wrong way, and thanked people for expressing a different point of view. 4. Somewhere around page 38, someone who did not want to read the entire 38 pages of the thread pointed out that she had not edited her original post to reflect her new understanding of the other point of view. The implication was that she should edit it so that people did not have to read all 38 pages to see what her point of view currently was. 5. After listening to feedback from people who disagreed with her, she takes what she has learned from other people and modifies her post in an effort to present a less offensive and more understanding perspective. 6. You are now upset because the original post is no longer offensive to you? Somehow the fact that kabjat has tried to compromise and change her viewpoint to one that is more understanding of your point of view is dishonest and makes you unhappy? I'm sorry, but you seem as though you are completely unwilling to even try to see the other point of view on this issue and seem focused solely on your personal opinion of the OP rather than the issue at hand. Edited January 31, 2012 by mrcaptainpants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maccaroth Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) In my opinion she has tried to communciate, and has kept commucations open as much as can be expected. I see your point. If she tried then there is no argument here and ignore is well deserved. No, its common sense that if you want help you explain what you want when asking for it. Perhaps. I agree although I personally don't mind accepting an invitation and then asking what is going on. I do invite people without asking from time to time when they are writing "LFG for the X" and follow the belief that if someone is asking me to join a group simply saw that message I has written in general (because current WHO tab is rarely used by most). I'm busy doing my thing, why do I need to stop what I'm doing to explain to someone who has sent me a blind invite from across the map why I'm not going to join them? To help make a better world. To correct the wrong. To show what should be instead what is. If my customs are annoying someone then they should tell me that. Otherwise having complaints because of it is baseless. What is obvious to the most is not always obvious to all. I'd be putting in more effort then they are into a exchange they instigated. You're putting more responsibility on the invitee the you are the inviter which i s backwards. If you demand communication you shouldn't be afraid to communicate. Even if you achieve nothing you lose nothing. If you make a person to understand that (s)he should change current behavior the entire community will benefit, because it's always for the better when people learn to communicate more. Edited January 31, 2012 by Maccaroth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deyjarl Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) I'm sorry, but you seem as though you are completely unwilling to even try to see the other point of view on this issue You mean where I agreed in part where I don't accept invites without tells myself, except when I'm waiting for boss spawns? I just don't find it a big deal enough to try start this whole mountain out of a mole hill thread. and seem focused solely on your personal opinion of the OP rather than the issue at hand. Practice what you preach and try reading my other posts. Oh and it wasn't just the original post where they were insulting, and part of the problem wasn't the insults, it was lying about it and denying it as in several responses to me. Lying to attack someone pointing out something you did doesn't seem to be a lesson learned. Edited January 31, 2012 by Deyjarl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcaptainpants Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) Okay, Deyjarl, I give up. The OP is a vile, evil, nefarious person, deceitful and wretched in every way. Is that what you want to hear? I'm asking you to try to put things in a reasonable perspective. You seem to be approaching this from an extremely emotional point of view and are determined to remain offended no matter what the OP (or anyone else, for that matter) says or does. I just don't find it a big deal enough to try start this whole mountain out of a mole hill thread. I agree that there is someone here making a mountain out of a mole hill. We simply disagree on who that person is. EDIT: And yes, that was my final word to you, as I don't think this discussion is going anywhere. I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but I don't know what you want anyone to do about it. Edited January 31, 2012 by mrcaptainpants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deyjarl Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) Okay, Deyjarl, I give up. The OP is a vile, evil, nefarious person, deceitful and wretched in every way. Is that what you want to hear? Now you are being just as dishonest. If you have to exaggerate like that to tear someone down, I feel sorry for you. I'm asking you to try to put things in a reasonable perspective. When someone lies? You seem to be approaching this from an extremely emotional point of view That is a pretty huge assumption on your part about my emotional state. And yes, that was my final word to you, as I don't think this discussion is going anywhere. I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but I don't know what you want anyone to do about it. I think the OP should apologize for lying about what they said in responding to me. It took til this last page and me quoting the OP for them to rewrite the first page so it wasn't attacking those who disagree. I think you should butt out, but only after apologizing for being just as insulting. Edited February 1, 2012 by Deyjarl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uteboy Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 For anyone still looking at this thread: One of the things discussed earlier was the fact that a blind invite will throw a response dialog in the middle of you screen that you have to interact with, distracting you from whatever you are currently doing, and breaking immersion. While on a balloon ride I dug completely through the preferences just to see whats there and found this option: Preferences -> User Interface -> Social Center -> Show Invites as Social Messages For those that didn't know it was there / didn't know what it does ( like me ) this stops the dialog in the middle of the screen and instead gives you a message underneath your chat box instead ( presuming you also have "Attach Social Notifications to Chat" checked ), same as a "you have new mail" message, or a "Friend X has logged on" message, with a check and a cross to accept or decline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bearchubbs Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I am a human being. I am not an NPC mercenary there to do your tanking/healing/dpsing for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surakis Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I am a human being. I am not an NPC mercenary there to do your tanking/healing/dpsing for you. That's why there's the invite. If you were an NPC they'd just tell who to attack and you'd just do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chomag Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 (edited) I am a human being. I am not an NPC mercenary there to do your tanking/healing/dpsing for you. You should have said to one of my old WoW guildmasters. He invited and replaced people in raids like they were npc-s. Reading this, Steamsalot ? Edited February 2, 2012 by Chomag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silkforcalde Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 If I see you doing the same quest as me and we are competing over mobs, I will randomly invite you. If you don't accept, I will tag everything and cause you to wait to finish your quest. If you do accept, we will both finish quickly. I will never ask you if you want to join my party because I don't care that much. Certainly not enough to waste the time it would take to ask you, get a response, and then invite you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sureth Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 For anyone still looking at this thread: One of the things discussed earlier was the fact that a blind invite will throw a response dialog in the middle of you screen that you have to interact with, distracting you from whatever you are currently doing, and breaking immersion. While on a balloon ride I dug completely through the preferences just to see whats there and found this option: Preferences -> User Interface -> Social Center -> Show Invites as Social Messages For those that didn't know it was there / didn't know what it does ( like me ) this stops the dialog in the middle of the screen and instead gives you a message underneath your chat box instead ( presuming you also have "Attach Social Notifications to Chat" checked ), same as a "you have new mail" message, or a "Friend X has logged on" message, with a check and a cross to accept or decline. Thanks for that! Will definately be trying to find that option and make it work that way instead : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeJimmy Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 I really dislike it when people just invite me to groups. I like them to tell me what they need before inviting me to a group. Or what is more annoying is they blind invite, you accept, and they never communicate at all during the group. This has happened several times to me. I accept the ninja invite and when I try to find out how we are going to work the mission -- SILENCE. Sometimes they kill one mob then *poof* drop group and leave as fast as they came. I wear deodorant and I brush my teeth. Why do these guys act this way? It makes me want to just solo everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shepardcomander Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 OR, bioware could allow companions to be strong enough to fill in missing group roles to reduce the need to blind invite healers/tanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surakis Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 OR, bioware could allow companions to be strong enough to fill in missing group roles to reduce the need to blind invite healers/tanks. Because companions on par with players would encourage players to group.... what?!?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shepardcomander Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Because companions on par with players would encourage players to group.... what?!?!?! I thought the subject of this thread was ideas to reduce the amount of unsolicited group invites. Derailment attempt much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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