The adventures of Forced Companions Daycare

[bobmcbo]

All the better when one of my characters is currently stuck dealing with the voss.

[Ardim]

 

BABY TRO-BUL: We have interpreters to make sense of it. Not to say the source visions are total nonsense. The Mystics and their visions rule us all.

BABY GUSS: Wow, really? It turns out that I'm a Mystic!

BABY TRO-BUL: Really? This is a wonderful thing! I did not think your people were guided by the Mystics' wisdom.

BABY KALIYO: We really aren't.

BABY GUSS, impressively: Yes, I am a Mystic, imbued with the power of Mystic stuff. You should listen to me. And give me cookies if you packed any for lunch.

BABY TRO-BUL: The Mystics said that offworlders would try to steal my nice things. It is my duty to offer these cookies to you.

BABY DOC: Now why didn't I think of that?

BABY GUSS: I'm having another vision! It's saying you shouldn't let Kaliyo or Xalek beat me up or electrocute me today.

BABY XALEK: Guss is a fool. Do not listen to him.

BABY TRO-BUL: Do not insult the Mystics' wisdom!

BABY XALEK: Show me a Mystic and I'll consider not insulting his wisdom.

 

I absolutely loved this, everything was just perfect . Heck the name Tro-Bul gave me giggles.

[bright_ephemera]

Today is a direct-quote day!

 

 

 

On FRIDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and SCORPIO.

 

 

BABY SKADGE is sitting on BABY TALOS while holding BABY VETTE by one lekku and whipping her with the tip.

BABY SKADGE: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

BABY VETTE: Puh-leeze. That gag was old before you were born.

BABY SKADGE: You're still talking. That means I'm not hitting you hard enough.

BABY VETTE squeals in pain.

SCORPIO: I doubt she will ever learn not to antagonize the person who is actively torturing her.

KHEM VAL: That just means she will always be fun to watch.

BABY VECTOR: Mister Khem Val, Miss Scorpio, we are concerned about Skadge's behavior.

KHEM VAL: You realize there's only one of you, right?

BABY VECTOR: This time we are speaking for everybody else in the room. We especially speak on behalf of Talos.

BABY TALOS, from underneath BABY SKADGE: Mfff mrrff mf.

BABY VECTOR: And Vette.

BABY VETTE: I don't need anyone speaking for me!

BABY VECTOR: You might want someone who can say something that will get positive results, Vette.

BABY VETTE: I can get positiv- ow! Ow!

BABY VECTOR: So, Mister Khem Val, Miss SCORPIO, we are concerned. Perhaps you could do something about it?

BABY SKADGE swings BABY VETTE out to trip BABY GUSS as he's walking by. BABY SKADGE drags them both in and starts banging their heads together.

KHEM VAL: Tormenting three at once, as was standard for the taskmasters of Yn and Chabosh. I didn't know he could do that. Did you know he could do that?

SCORPIO: Just watch.

BABY SKADGE grabs BABY VETTE and throws her in a precision strike at YOUNG BOWDAAR, knocking him over.

YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE. Why is it always me...

KHEM VAL: Most impressive.

SCORPIO: He is learning to control and expand his aggression. Very intriguing.

BABY VETTE sits up and shakes her head, hard.

BABY VECTOR: Are you all right?

BABY VETTE: Yeah, sure. But I think it's time for some policy lobbying.

BABY VECTOR: We can help. We are skilled in such matters.

BABY VETTE: Obviously you aren't, because the menace is still at large.

BABY VETTE toddles over to where KHEM VAL and SCORPIO are watching BABY SKADGE's reign of terror.

BABY VETTE: Can I ask you something?

SCORPIO: Proceed.

BABY VETTE: Why is he even here?

KHEM VAL: What do you mean by that?

BABY VETTE: Why did you let this psychopath in the door. It makes no sense whatsoever.

KHEM VAL: He is a paying customer.

SCORPIO: And he tests your limits as I am not permitted to.

BABY VETTE: I...I...I shouldn't even be surprised at that reasoning. Did Mister Teeseven approve him coming in?

SCORPIO: Oh, yes.

KHEM VAL: Skadge pulled a blaster and insisted we should let him attend daycare or else he would shoot.

SCORPIO: Once Lord Scourge was finished laughing, he pronounced Skadge bold enough to enter, though he made no guarantees as to whether Skadge would leave again.

BABY VETTE: I would love to guarantee that he leave again.

KHEM VAL: Teeseven was persuaded by Lord Scourge's judgment. So Skadge stays.

BABY VETTE: Mister Teeseven can be persuaded to do a lot of dumb things.

KHEM VAL: Do not speak so of the daycare staff.

A pause.

KHEM VAL: SCORPIO, I'm surprised you didn't snicker even a little at what Vette had to say.

SCORPIO: I was obliged to disable scornful snickering in the latest iteration of my software. It caused more trouble than it was worth.

KHEM VAL: But you're still laughing on the inside.

SCORPIO: Oh, yes.

BABY SKADGE, having gotten bored of sitting on BABY TALOS, scoots aside, scoops up BABY TALOS, and throws him to knock YOUNG BOWDAAR over again.

YOUNG BOWDAAR: This is because I AM A SLAVE, isn't it.

BABY VETTE: You know, Bowdaar, you're big enough to take him.

BABY VECTOR: And you see, this is why we discourage you from negotiating difficult social situations.

BABY VETTE: Quiet, you. C'mon, Bowdaar, sock him one.

KHEM VAL: Yes, do. It will be as in Tulak Hord's gladiatorial arenas.

SCORPIO, with pretend shock: For shame, Khem. That would violate the rules.

KHEM VAL: Gladiatorial arenas are only against the rules if we're the ones setting them up. If we happen to look the other way...into a vidscreen that'll give us realtime coverage of the bloody combat...we can claim innocence.

YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE, and slaves do battle to the death a lot.

YOUNG BOWDAAR roars a Wookiee roar and charges BABY SKADGE.

BABY SKADGE, finally standing up: Ooh, fresh meat.

BABY SKADGE punches YOUNG BOWDAAR in the leg hard enough to knock him over.

BABY SKADGE: This will be over fast, fuzzy.

BABY TALOS throws a building block at BABY SKADGE.

BABY SKADGE: Hey!

BABY VETTE and BABY GUSS join in, throwing assorted toys at BABY SKADGE.

BABY GUSS: Wheeee!

Before BABY SKADGE can retaliate, YOUNG BOWDAAR tackles him.

BABY SKADGE: You can't gang up on me! There's...uh...rules or something! And I'll beat you all up!

BABY VECTOR throws a rock at BABY SKADGE, then sidles away and tries to look diplomatic.

BABY VETTE: Wow, Vector, I'm impressed. I never knew you were the heavy-projectile-weapon type.

BABY VECTOR: The nest can defend itself.

With the assistance of BABIES VETTE, GUSS, TALOS, and VECTOR, YOUNG BOWDAAR subdues BABY SKADGE.

BABY TALOS: Are we dead ye...oh, my goodness! We won!

BABY VECTOR: Yes, one enemy vanquished. Somewhat to our surprise.

BABY VETTE: Brutal. Better check I still have all my parts.

BABY VETTE runs in to start gathering up pieces of the model swoop track. Once satisfied that they're all there, she looks up at KHEM VAL and SCORPIO.

BABY VETTE: So anyway, Skadge lost! That means Bowdaar kills him, right?

YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE. It's my job.

KHEM VAL: No.

BABY VETTE: Pleeease?

KHEM VAL: No.

BABY VETTE: But...but...didn't Tulak Hord do it that way?

KHEM VAL wavers.

BABY SKADGE: Most days I would say I love it when they beg, but I don't like where this is going.

SCORPIO: Now, children. Killing your companions is strictly forbidden. No matter how much they deserve it. Besides. I am not finished with this one.

YOUNG BOWDAAR: Figures. My work is for nothing, for I AM A SLAVE.

BABY VETTE: Your work is for nothing because the staff here is incompetent.

SCORPIO: Malicious, little one. Not incompetent. You will survive longer in this galaxy if you learn to tell the difference.

 

 

Idiom notes:

"Sock him one" is just "hit him."

 

Puh-leeze is an exaggerated please.

 

"Still at large" is "still free."

 

"Take him," as in Vette saying Bowdaar was big enough to take Skadge, is challenge/fight/stand a realistic chance of beating.

 

 

 

Edited September 26, 2013 by bright_ephemera

[Selenial]

Today is a direct-quote day!

 

 

 

On FRIDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and SCORPIO.

 

 

BABY SKADGE is sitting on BABY TALOS while holding BABY VETTE by one lekku and whipping her with the tip.

BABY SKADGE: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

BABY VETTE: Puh-leeze. That gag was old before you were born.

BABY SKADGE: You're still talking. That means I'm not hitting you hard enough.

BABY VETTE squeals in pain.

SCORPIO: I doubt she will ever learn not to antagonize the person who is actively torturing her.

KHEM VAL: That just means she will always be fun to watch.

 

Love. It.

 

Totally nominating for next forum roundup...

Edited August 31, 2012 by Selenial

[bright_ephemera]

I second these. Also, I'll add two more of my own:

 

Minor bug (everyone gets sick at daycare) It might be especially funny if SCORPIO was involved (she introduces the virus?) but really with anyone. I can just see Lord Scourge and Khem Val with baby Vector and a few fingerlings coughing all over them.

 

Christmas or Valentine's Day party: Curious to see what everyone brings in the way of presents. (Tanno Vikk's blow up, Doc gives valentines to all the girls with free smooch coupons, Risha picks everyone's pockets and gives them back the contents in gift bags)

 

O.O How did I not properly process these when I first read them? This...this, if I get time to write this weekend, is probably going to steal Risha's suggestion wholesale, because that image is sublimely wonderful

 

As ever, I'm glad you're all enjoying!

[Vesaniae]

Killing your companions is strictly forbidden. No matter how much they deserve it.

I see what you did there... Either that or I read way too much into these things.

[bright_ephemera]

Killing your companions is strictly forbidden. No matter how much they deserve it.

 

I see what you did there... Either that or I read way too much into these things.

 

Today's entry is about Skadge specifically, but I do lace these stories with editorials on the game's general policy. There are several companions who I felt richly, logically deserved something more fatal than the game allows...

 

...but Mister Teeseven said I couldn't do it.

Edited August 31, 2012 by bright_ephemera

[kabeone]

It makes me sad that drawing scorpio, scourge, and khem val is harder than drawing chibis. They're so funny in this series. especially scourge... but I may be biased.

[SveinEternity]

It makes me sad that drawing scorpio, scourge, and khem val is harder than drawing chibis. They're so funny in this series. especially scourge... but I may be biased.

 

You aren't.

 

@ Bright_ I sat at my computer laughing my head off at the last installment. And, I bookedmarked this thread lol.

Edited September 1, 2012 by SveinEternity

[bobmcbo]

Today is a direct-quote day!

 

 

BABY VECTOR: Yes, one enemy vanquished. Somewhat to our surprise.

 

It never made sense when he said that in-game, but now it does

[Kuronan]

You should have days where a hero comes in (IE: Full Dark Side Inquisitor, full Light Side Jedi Knight, etc.) and converse with their future companions, particularly the romances (IE: Jedi Knight and Kira) I would love to see a dark side male inquisitor and Ashara TRY to get along and awkwardly flirt while Khem Val and Scourge provide commentary.

 

Or maybe the chibi Male Agent flirts with chibi Raina Temple with Scorpio and T7-01 commentary (and possibly an Orbital Bombardment eventually happening for the fun of it?)

 

Finally, I love Akaavi and Xalek best. particularly Xalek for this quote:

BABY XALEK: Which is the killing-people form?

LORD SCOURGE and KHEM VAL smile.

KHEM VAL: All of them.

BABY XALEK: Oh, I'm gonna like these lessons.

[MilaniGrey]

*major snippage*

Today is a direct-quote day!

 

 

 

On FRIDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and SCORPIO.

 

 

BABY SKADGE is sitting on BABY TALOS while holding BABY VETTE by one lekku and whipping her with the tip.

BABY SKADGE: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

BABY VETTE: Puh-leeze. That gag was old before you were born.

BABY SKADGE: You're still talking. That means I'm not hitting you hard enough.

BABY VETTE squeals in pain.

 

BABY VECTOR: You might want someone who can say something that will get positive results, Vette.

BABY VETTE: I can get positiv- ow! Ow!

BABY VECTOR: So, Mister Khem Val, Miss SCORPIO, we are concerned. Perhaps you could do something about it?

BABY SKADGE swings BABY VETTE out to trip BABY GUSS as he's walking by. BABY SKADGE drags them both in and starts banging their heads together.

 

BABY SKADGE grabs BABY VETTE and throws her in a precision strike at YOUNG BOWDAAR, knocking him over.

 

BABY VETTE: Brutal. Better check I still have all my parts.

 

Totally should've added "The galaxy is about to be down one cute Twi'lek!" as she was getting savagely beaten by Skadge.

[YoshiRaphElan]

These are just too cute!!!

[bright_ephemera]

On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and KHEM VAL.

 

 

T7-01 and KHEM VAL are out of the room at the moment. A corrupt human Sith walks in. He is brown-haired, with a little brown tendril of a beard, and a dramatic tattoo surrounding one eye.

OVERSEER HARKUN: You! Worms! Pay attention!

BABY KIRA: Huh?

OVERSEER HARKUN: My master has sent me to select suitable candidates from among you slaves for training.

BABY KIRA: But we're not slaves.

OVERSEER HARKUN: I don't want to hear your excuses. You!

OVERSEER HARKUN points at BABY VETTE.

OVERSEER HARKUN: You look very slave-like.

BABY VETTE: No, I don't.

OVERSEER HARKUN: Yes, you really do. You will come with me to Korriban for training.

BABY VETTE: At what, exactly? I'm not Force sensitive.

OVERSEER HARKUN hesitates.

OVERSEER HARKUN: I was sent here to recruit, but this place is full of non-slaves who are also not Force sensitive. I wonder if Lord Zash is putting me on again…

YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE. For what it's worth.

OVERSEER HARKUN: Yes, but you're not very well Force sensitive, now are you?

YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE.

BABY VETTE: I'm afraid he doesn't have any other attributes.

OVERSEER HARKUN: Useless, all of you.

BABY XALEK: Some of us are Force sensitive. What are you offering?

OVERSEER HARKUN: A grueling course of training that will probably kill the lot of you worthless k'lor'slugs.

BABY ASHARA: Your sales pitch could use some work.

OVERSEER HARKUN: Well, your alternative is returning to soul-crushing, body-shattering slavery.

BABY ASHARA: No, it isn't.

BABY VETTE: Like we said. Not slaves.

BABY ASHARA: Your sales pitch needs work and you're also bad at improvising when the situation leaves your script behind.

BABY XALEK: Get back to the grueling training. Do we get to kill the other worthless k'lor'slugs?

OVERSEER HARKUN: That's a slightly complicated question when you look at the rules and the sudden, arbitrary exceptions. On the face of it, no.

BABY XALEK: So, 'yes.'

OVERSEER HARKUN: You might be trouble, boneface.

BABY KIRA: Are you even supposed to be here, mister…?

OVERSEER HARKUN: Harkun. Overseer Harkun. I go where my master bids me, and I'm here to find some scum that might live long enough to make an apprentice.

BABY KIRA: What I'm getting at is, where are Mister Khem Val and Mister Teeseven?

KHEM VAL sprints into the room and stops short to loom over OVERSEER HARKUN, grinning toothily.

KHEM VAL: I should have known it was you who sabotaged my speeder this morning. Your pranks bore me, little Sith.

OVERSEER HARKUN: B-bored means not angry or hungry, right?

KHEM VAL: Incorrect.

BABY XALEK: Eat him! Eat him!

BABY KIRA: I thought you wanted to go with him to a grueling training thing?

BABY XALEK: I'm entertained either way.

KHEM VAL, shaking OVERSEER HARKUN: What have you done with Teeseven?

OVERSEER HARKUN: I shocked him a lot. I don't have all that many tricks, really. He'll recover.

KHEM VAL: Wait a minute. You attacked him and he'll recover?

OVERSEER HARKUN: I-I- I chose to spare him because he…he wasn't worth my time. Yes.

BABY ASHARA: Hey, anybody else notice that he's completely peppered with blaster wounds from the knees down?

KHEM VAL: You are too weak to permanently defeat a trash can. Let that be your shame.

OVERSEER HARKUN: M-My living, breathing, not-devoured shame. Right?

KHEM VAL: Only because I'm not supposed to kill people while I’m on the job. Leave. You will take no apprentices.

OVERSEER HARKUN: Can I at least take the slave?

YOUNG BOWDAAR, forlornly: I AM A SLAVE.

KHEM VAL: No.

Edited September 11, 2012 by bright_ephemera

[Estelindis]

On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and KHEM VAL.

 

YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE. For what it's worth.

OVERSEER HARKUN: Yes, but you're not very well Force sensitive, now are you?

YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE.

BABY VETTE: I'm afraid he doesn't have any other attributes.

 

<snip>

 

OVERSEER HARKUN: I shocked him a lot. I don't have all that many tricks, really. He'll recover.

KHEM VAL: Wait a minute. You attacked him and he'll recover?

OVERSEER HARKUN: I-I- I chose to spare him because he…he wasn't worth my time. Yes.

BABY ASHARA: Hey, anybody else notice that he's completely peppered with blaster wounds from the knees down?

KHEM VAL: You are too weak to permanently defeat a trash can. Let that be your shame.

Freaking fantastic! These two bits in particular put huge grins on my face.

[MilaniGrey]

Aaaah, my sides hurt!

[YoshiRaphElan]

Bwa-hahahah!

[Bird_of_Thunder]

its funny cuz (unless im incorrect)

 

 

Xalek kills Harkun later

 

[bright_ephemera]

its funny cuz (unless im incorrect)

 

 

Xalek kills Harkun later

 

Inquisitor spoilers:

 

 

In my records Harkun survives. Xalek kills his competitor for apprenticeship, but leaves Harkun alive - he appears in my last cutscene. I would gladly have let Xalekdo it, though. Or fed Harkun to Khem Val...ah, missed opportunities!

 

[Adwynyth]

Inquisitor spoilers:

 

 

In my records Harkun survives. Xalek kills his competitor for apprenticeship, but leaves Harkun alive - he appears in my last cutscene. I would gladly have let Xalekdo it, though. Or fed Harkun to Khem Val...ah, missed opportunities!

 

Actually, you CAN kill him later when you go back. If you pick just the right choices.

 

(I know because I have done so twice.)

 

[bright_ephemera]

(Inq spoilers)

Actually, you CAN kill him later when you go back. If you pick just the right choices.

 

(I know because I have done so twice.)

 

A DS item my Inquisitor didn't hit?? Niselle, you failed me!

 

 

Now...Dodgeball for FalcoLombardi!

 

On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.

 

 

KHEM VAL: Children. It is time for a game. Do you have any suggestions?

LORD SCOURGE: If you do not, we will have to select an activity.

KHEM VAL smiles.

BABY DOC: I would like to suggest anything at all. That isn't what you're going to suggest. Um, how about a cookie-eating competition?

LORD SCOURGE: No.

BABY BROONMARK: Blllorp?

KHEM VAL: Whatever that meant, no.

BABY PIERCE: Too much talk. I say dodgeball.

BABY PIERCE grabs a squeaking BABY TALOS, curls him up, and lobs him at BABY DOC.

LORD SCOURGE: Very good.

BABY DOC dodges. BABY TALOS lands, but stays curled up tightly, whimpering. BABY SKADGE scoops him up and sends him whizzing at BABY BROONMARK. BABY TALOS hits BABY BROONMARK's fur, makes a slight indent, then bounces away harmlessly.

BABY SKADGE: Talz cheat. Even more than I can cheat.

BABY BROONMARK: Raaargh!

BABY DOC, running toward BABY TALOS: Hang in there, champ, I got kolto for the bruises. Ladies, please observe the master at work.

BABY PIERCE reaches BABY TALOS first, and throws him over to where BABY KIRA and BABY ELARA have been talking. The girls scatter. BABY BROONMARK shuffles over to recover BABY TALOS.

BABY SKADGE: No more ammo over here.

BABY SKADGE looks around, then spots BABY GUSS in his customary hiding-from-KHEM-VAL spot under one of the corner tables. BABY SKADGE grabs BABY GUSS and lobs him at BABY KIRA, but BABY TALOS, thrown by BABY BROONMARK, hits BABY GUSS midair. The two unwilling dodgeballs crash to the ground.

BABY GUSS: Are we still taking suggestions for activities? Because I'd like not this one.

BABY ELARA: I must concur.

BABY SKADGE, kicking a balled-up BABY TALOS in BABY ELARA's direction: Concur this.

BABY ELARA, scurrying aside: We have rules about projectile weapons at daycare!

BABY PIERCE: The only serious restrictions are on energy weapons. You'll recall a bunch of us lobbied to loosen up the projectile-weapons rules so we could keep the turrets on the club house.

BABY ELARA: I filed very strong objections to the weakening of those regulat-

BABY ELARA is interrupted by a faceful of flying BABY GUSS.

BABY SKADGE: Got one!

BABY PIERCE: Nice job!

BABY PIERCE high-fives BABY SKADGE with one hand, then brings the other hand around to club BABY SKADGE with BABY TALOS.

BABY DOC: That doesn’t even count, guys!

BABY PIERCE idly passes a trembling BABY TALOS from hand to hand.

BABY PIERCE: Want to talk it over, do you?

BABY DOC: Only if you put down the weaponry first.

BABY PIERCE: No deal.

BABY BROONMARK has been grooming himself for the last minute or so. Suddenly he stands up and lobs a dense furball at BABY PIERCE, knocking him over.

BABY BROONMARK: Raaargh!

The furball comes to rest near BABY SKADGE.

BABY SKADGE: I like free ammo, but I'm not touching that one.

BABY KIRA: You don't have to.

BABY KIRA runs over and, making the most intense effort face she has ever made, grabs BABY PIERCE by the waist and hoists him up, then throws him to knock BABY SKADGE over.

BABY KIRA: Doc, furball! Now!

BABY DOC: You got it, gorgeous!

BABY DOC grabs BABY BROONMARK's fur-dodge-ball and runs over to rub it in BABY PIERCE and BABY SKADGE's faces.

BABY PIERCE: Oh, yuck! Stop!

BABY SKADGE: Gaaaah, no!

BABY BROONMARK: Blllorp.

BABY DOC: Surrender, guys.

BABY PIERCE: Only if you get this furball off of me.

BABY DOC: I dunno, furball's the only guarantee I have that you'll behave.

BABY BROONMARK scoots over and sits, letting his voluminous fur cover BABY PIERCE and BABY SKADGE.

BABY BROONMARK: Blllorp.

BABY DOC: I…guess that's a guarantee for now.

BABY ELARA: Order restored. Excellent.

BABY GUSS: I'm going back to hiding now.

BABY TALOS: I'm going to go back to reading ancient Sith artifacts. It's safer.

BABY DOC: Not bad, not bad at all. We make a pretty good team, huh, Kira?

BABY KIRA: Yeah. We did.

BABY DOC: So. Smooches?

BABY KIRA: Still no.

BABY DOC: C'mon, what's it take!?

[iamthehoyden]

Hehehe, ah Doc, still out to save whoever...if it'll get him some. Too funny

[MilaniGrey]

Intense giggle-fit at 9 in the morning.. oh, my poor sides..

[bright_ephemera]

I seriously hesitated to introduce flirting at all to, y'know, daycare, but really, I think Doc's been attempting to charm kisses out of adoring ladies since he was three days old.

 

So I reasoned that if Hobbes of Calvin and Hobbes can express approval of smooches, so can Baby Doc.

[irishfino]

Awww, poor Talos. You can't romance his adorkableness and now he's a dodgeball.