if you want to invite me to party, ASK ME first.

[Eldartank]

I forgot to mention an interesting feature they added to WoW, and I think it's only in the newer high-level zones. For specific single quest creatures, EVERYONE who is there and does at least one attack on it will get the quest credit, even if they aren't in a group and didn't make the first attack. This is a great feature, because you don't have to wait for respawns if someone else is there fighting the target when you get there. Of course, the person who scored the first hit on the target is still the only one who gets to loot it, but at least you get the quest credit. Perhaps SWTOR might consider adding that feature to certain quest mobs?

[Kalstang]

The ONLY time that I give blind invites or accept them is when I and another are waiting (OBVIOUSLY WAITING) for a named quest mob to appear at that one specific spot. To me thats just a courtesy so that neither I nor the other person has to wait 5-20 min for a respawn. Any place else I will decline any blind invite and would expect others to do the same to me if I ever did such a thing.

 

If a person blind invites me after I have declined them once already though I will send them a tell warning them to not do it again. If they do they get /ignored and if I'm feeling peevish I'll even report them for harrassment. (thankfully I don't get peevish too often.)

 

Guild invites are auto declined.

 

I just wish they had an auto-decline for duel invites. I'm on a pve server for a reason. If I wanted to pvp I'd go to the areas especially designed for em or a pvp server.

[mrcaptainpants]

Wow, I had no idea this was proper etiquette, but it makes sense. The few times I have invited someone blindly, it was because they were ahead of me going into a non-instanced, class nonspecific quest area that only had one objective and I didn't feel like fighting over mobs. lol. I will definitely give this thread thought next time. Thanks OP!

 

Thanks for posting this. I firmly believe that no one intends to be rude by extending a blind invite.

 

I repeat, a blind invite is NOT an intentional rudeness; it is almost always a case of not really understanding established rules of etiquette. And as we've been discussing, there are are exceptions where the blind invite is okay.

 

I don't fall into the camp of "If you blind-invite me I think you're an a-hole and you're automatically going on my ignore list". I usually only put people on my ignore list if they keep spamming the invite after I have already declined it once or twice. I find that to be intentionally rude behavior, but that's a different matter altogether.

 

There is so much anger in this thread from people who weren't aware of established etiquette and are now taking offense to the subject even being brought up in the first place. Do people have the right to reject established etiquette? Absolutely. But to do so and then blame other people for expecting established behavior just seems wrong to me.

 

In any case, warpedlogic, your post was awesome and very much appreciated.

[Halinalle]

I've never declined a blind invite. Typing /invite $$$$$ and trying to spell your 14 character name right takes longer than for you to kill the mob we both need which would have completed both our bonuses giving us both 1500 exp. extra.

 

- There is faster way to invite people to group.

- You can type 5 letters per second with practice.

[SarethX]

People should be honored if I accept their invite to make THEIR game better with my awesomeness in the group.

[mrcaptainpants]

With you obvious rebutlle that you're not trying to level quickly, sounds like you'd rather play a single player game, it'll certainly cost you less.

 

Wait, what?

 

You're saying you don't want to be bothered with having to talk to other people to invite them, you just want to click on them like an NPC, and we're the ones who should be playing a single player rpg???

 

Wordlessly inviting someone seems more social to you than sending a /tell first?

 

Really?

[TUXs]

Well your sitting here YELLING at people and in previous post calling them names so something tells me you do care and your just upset no one is agreeing with you.

 

Im about as social a player you will ever find in game with strangers.

I doubt there are many out there as open, friendly, welcoming to total strangers and accepting to grouping REQUESTS

 

So If I understand the meaning behind this and agree with it, Gotta say you just trying to play devils advocate (poorly) or just argueing for arguement sake here. Its not a hard concept to understand.

 

What you dont seem to be understanding is you still need to make the REQUEST.

 

You inviting someone is not doing THEM a favor as you like to think.

Its YOU asking for the group to help YOURSELF, not them

 

That kid that whined "WHY WONT YOU HELP ME" other day on Ord, he was the one dieing, not me. I didnt die once solo and was handleing my content quite fine. He wasnt. So if he wants a group, all he needed to do was ASK.

 

If I was dieing or outmatched (Literally impossible to be at same level content in this game btw), I would have ASKED over general or sent those around me a tell asking if I could join. Because it would have been for MY OWN NEEDS, not theirs.

 

But this thread can be summed up in a old but very true statement

 

THERE IS NEVER A BAD TIME TO BE POLITE AND HAVE MANNERS!

 

I know the new to MMO crowd (7 years and under players) dont understand allot of standard traditional MMORPG stuff but this isnt WOW and your bargin basement WOW society and structure doesnt fly here. Time for you to come to the real MMORPG world were there are established rules and standards players are expected to follow.

 

Just like in any society, club, culture.

 

Time for you all to start learning them.

 

ALWAYS ASK FIRST!

 

I did not yell at anyone. Interpret what I write how you like, but don't accuse me of something you aren't certain about.

 

If you think the ONLY reason I invite someone to group with me is to benefit ME, you're 100% wrong! In fact, I SELDOM invite anyone or ask anyone to help "me". I invite others because far too many people are selfish players who care only about themselves and if I see someone who I think may need help, I'll invite and ask questions later. If they wanna be left alone, they can decline and I have no issue with that. If they accept, I'll ask if they're on the same mission and go from there.

 

Unlike YOU, I don't sit idly by and wait for someone to respectfully ask me to assist them so I can feel like they've followed the MMO Code of Ethics correctly, nor do I pre-judge their character by assuming anyone who doesn't follow my interweb code is an unworthy twit...instead, I jump in and help them so they don't NEED to ask.

 

Unlike YOU, "I" treat everyone as an equal and give everyone the benefit of the doubt no matter what their "MMO" manners are like, because, we're ALL human, we all have good days and bad days, some of us are shy, some outgoing, some speak english, some not at all, for some this is their first MMO, for others, their FOM MMO. No matter how a group is formed, I make it a point to enjoy the people I'm with.

 

And I'm sorry you are as offended as you seem by this, but honestly, get over it. Who do you think you are to tell others what manners they need to follow? I've been playing MMOs for 8 years - I know how I've done it and it's gotten me farther than being a total d-bag when someone invites me without asking first. For the few people like you I meet, I meet a hundred great people!

 

The idea that you sit here and feel you can chastise me and accuse me of things that you assume (incorrectly) to be true because "I" don't send a whisper every time I invite someone is golden! You're the one throwing out names and trying to belittle people, yet you accuse "ME" of not having manners!

 

No. This isn't about "manners" - it's about feeling like you're better than someone else because you've played an MMO before. You're not.

[Kabjat]

Many of the best moments of my life have started exactly like this, including meeting my fiancé!

 

A little spontaneity can make life much more fun!

 

I would much rather live in a world where someone felt that they could approach me and take a blind chance than to have everyone live in fear of broaching decorum.

 

I will not disagree with this!

 

But there are times it just doesn't go over well. I hope you can appreciate the difference.

 

There seems to be a misconception floating around that decorum and propriety MUST be adhered to at all times or face the Wrath of my Doom. This use of hyperbole in an attempt to undermine someone's genuine viewpoint seems a bit cheap to me.

 

Now, I do not think that you, Democratus, are implying any such thing, I felt I needed to restate this obvious and overused argument.

 

I really don't think this way, I just think that there is a DEFINITE place for simple politeness and we are not asking for you or anyone to jump through hoops. I just want people to see where I am coming from.

[mrcaptainpants]

I did not yell at anyone. Interpret what I write how you like, but don't accuse me of something you aren't certain about.

 

If you think the ONLY reason I invite someone to group with me is to benefit ME, you're 100% wrong! In fact, I SELDOM invite anyone or ask anyone to help "me". I invite others because far too many people are selfish players who care only about themselves and if I see someone who I think may need help, I'll invite and ask questions later. If they wanna be left alone, they can decline and I have no issue with that. If they accept, I'll ask if they're on the same mission and go from there.

 

Unlike YOU, I don't sit idly by and wait for someone to respectfully ask me to assist them so I can feel like they've followed the MMO Code of Ethics correctly, nor do I pre-judge their character by assuming anyone who doesn't follow my interweb code is an unworthy twit...instead, I jump in and help them so they don't NEED to ask.

 

Unlike YOU, "I" treat everyone as an equal and give everyone the benefit of the doubt no matter what their "MMO" manners are like, because, we're ALL human, we all have good days and bad days, some of us are shy, some outgoing, some speak english, some not at all, for some this is their first MMO, for others, their FOM MMO. No matter how a group is formed, I make it a point to enjoy the people I'm with.

 

And I'm sorry you are as offended as you seem by this, but honestly, get over it. Who do you think you are to tell others what manners they need to follow? I've been playing MMOs for 8 years - I know how I've done it and it's gotten me farther than being a total d-bag when someone invites me without asking first. For the few people like you I meet, I meet a hundred great people!

 

The idea that you sit here and feel you can chastise me and accuse me of things that you assume (incorrectly) to be true because "I" don't send a whisper every time I invite someone is golden! You're the one throwing out names and trying to belittle people, yet you accuse "ME" of not having manners!

 

No. This isn't about "manners" - it's about feeling like you're better than someone else because you've played an MMO before. You're not.

 

TUXs, I think you're taking this all a lot more personally than it is meant.

 

For what its worth, I totally and completely believe you when you say you blind invite in order to help people.

 

You don't in any way sound like a selfish a-hole. And you're probably a really nice guy.

 

But the anger with which you're responding here just seem out of proportion to the issue we're talking about. No one is saying that YOU, personally, are a bad person because you send blind invites.

 

In fact, I LOVED what you said about how if you see someone struggling with something, you are inclined to help them without being asked. I think that is 101 different flavors of awesome.

 

I'm curious, though. When you see someone who seems as though they need help, have you ever sent them a /whisper asking "Need some help?" That extra human touch would be awesome. Actually speaking to a person in chat forms a real, human connection that blind invites just don't convey. I'm not criticizing you, honestly, because you do seem like a very passionate person who wants to help people.

 

I'm just not sure why you are so angrily resisting the idea of actually talking to the people you want to help. That's all.

 

EDIT: Just read your post below mine after this posted. I think I understand you a lot better now! Thanks!

Edited January 30, 2012 by mrcaptainpants

[TUXs]

You know, phrases like "That means nothing to me" and "I don't care" are good indicators that your behavior is rude.

 

Huh. Too bad they aren't the only indicators.

 

I simply don't feel that trying to help people and group up in an mmo is anything ANYONE should feel pressure about doing. If they take the initiative and send an invite, I'll join and ask what they're doing. You can decline, you can accept. My saying "I don't care" means no matter which one you select to do, "I" won't be offended. If YOU invite me without sending a tell first, "I" won't be offended.

 

In fact, ANYONE who takes the initiative to begin a group, I'll encourage to do so because far too many people in MMOs are followers. We need to foster the grouping mentality more than the soloing one.

 

And please don't assume that my acceptance of a blind invite means I make a habit of sending them. I HAVE...but I seldom do it. I understand the value of a tell beforehand, but I also find nothing wrong with the random invite.

 

Spamming invites is obviously wrong and they'd simply end up on /ignore...but that's another topic.

[daemian]

Go to page 1 and check it out. The OP says nothing at all about special situations. It simply says to not invite without messaging.

 

Regardless of what may have been said in the intervening time - the OP has not been altered and makes no exceptions.

 

I understood their meaning:

 

...when someone just spams me with his party invite without any regard to what I may be doing, it just makes me NOT want to party with him on principle alone.

 

I've had people frantically click and invite me to duel or group as I'm running by, obviously on my way somewhere else. I've had people follow me around repeatedly inviting me after being declined once.

 

The last blind invite I accepted, the guy said not a word until we got to the first NPC, then got mad at me for not spacebarring through all the dialogue. Sometimes I just want to take it easy, and not accepting an invite is also out of courtesy to not force other players to play my way.

Edited January 30, 2012 by daemian

[TUXs]

I'm curious, though. When you see someone who seems as though they need help, have you ever sent them a /whisper asking "Need some help?" That extra human touch would be awesome. Actually speaking to a person in chat forms a real, human connection that blind invites just don't convey. I'm not criticizing you, honestly, because you do seem like a very passionate person who wants to help people.

 

Please don't mistake my passion about this subject as anger or hate or...whatever I'm VERY pro-community though.

 

And yes, I do. Honestly, I can't name a time I haven't sent a tell first, but I know I have. I ALWAYS try to ask first - not everyone does though, and I'm ok with them too

 

My passion in this topic is of trying to get people to accept our different habits, skill levels and social etiquette...not judge people by it. There's so much more to every player than how they invite you...don't let something so petty corrupt your opinion of them.

[Annobal]

I invite people to groups when I'm about to kill something that is needed for a quest in the area or anything of that nature. I also do the same when others are about to. It's rather obvious what I want and what I am offering when I throw an invite while questing. If I could convey that before I or someone else kills the mob then maybe I would consider talking. I say maybe because if you don't know why someone is inviting you in a quest area then your just not worth the time. I love it when people invite me without asking. It means they have an ounce of intelligence and respect/generosity or something of the like. This is only in regards to questing areas. Edited January 30, 2012 by Annobal

[Kabjat]

I did not yell at anyone. Interpret what I write how you like, but don't accuse me of something you aren't certain about.

 

If you think the ONLY reason I invite someone to group with me is to benefit ME, you're 100% wrong! In fact, I SELDOM invite anyone or ask anyone to help "me". I invite others because far too many people are selfish players who care only about themselves and if I see someone who I think may need help, I'll invite and ask questions later. If they wanna be left alone, they can decline and I have no issue with that. If they accept, I'll ask if they're on the same mission and go from there.

 

Unlike YOU, I don't sit idly by and wait for someone to respectfully ask me to assist them so I can feel like they've followed the MMO Code of Ethics correctly, nor do I pre-judge their character by assuming anyone who doesn't follow my interweb code is an unworthy twit...instead, I jump in and help them so they don't NEED to ask.

 

Unlike YOU, "I" treat everyone as an equal and give everyone the benefit of the doubt no matter what their "MMO" manners are like, because, we're ALL human, we all have good days and bad days, some of us are shy, some outgoing, some speak english, some not at all, for some this is their first MMO, for others, their FOM MMO. No matter how a group is formed, I make it a point to enjoy the people I'm with.

 

And I'm sorry you are as offended as you seem by this, but honestly, get over it. Who do you think you are to tell others what manners they need to follow? I've been playing MMOs for 8 years - I know how I've done it and it's gotten me farther than being a total d-bag when someone invites me without asking first. For the few people like you I meet, I meet a hundred great people!

 

The idea that you sit here and feel you can chastise me and accuse me of things that you assume (incorrectly) to be true because "I" don't send a whisper every time I invite someone is golden! You're the one throwing out names and trying to belittle people, yet you accuse "ME" of not having manners!

 

No. This isn't about "manners" - it's about feeling like you're better than someone else because you've played an MMO before. You're not.

 

 

*sigh*

 

I am sorry you have been offended by this thread, or by the fact that others feel differently about something than you.

 

No one has stated (except you) that they feel they are better or superior than anyone. That you have read such a thing into that guy's post is surprising. I'm sorry if others on this thread have responded aggressively. Perhaps they feel just as strongly about their viewpoint as you do yours?

 

I'm not going to go through and pick apart your argument because honestly I don't wish to insult you with my opinion.

 

I feel by simply replying to your rant, it sets me up to be attacked by you.

 

As you are highly agitated by this, I will simply say this:

 

There is more than one way to see things. There are other viewpoints besides yours. Blind inviting is seen as obtrusive and rude by many of us. We don't always think it is in the case of world bosses and everyone getting credit, but for the most part, we feel that a simple tell before an invite is a no-brainer as far as determining if we wish to group with someone. If we get a blind invite with no COMMUNICATION, that is a pretty good indicator TO THOSE OF US WHO ROLL THIS WAY that we probably will not wish to play with that person.

 

An invite IS NOT the same as asking. Period. I state that emphatically as MY OPINION.

 

I respect your opposing opinion.

 

Respecting the opinions of others without name calling makes for a much more constructive discussion.

[Kabjat]

TUXs, I think you're taking this all a lot more personally than it is meant.

 

For what its worth, I totally and completely believe you when you say you blind invite in order to help people.

 

You don't in any way sound like a selfish a-hole. And you're probably a really nice guy.

 

But the anger with which you're responding here just seem out of proportion to the issue we're talking about. No one is saying that YOU, personally, are a bad person because you send blind invites.

 

In fact, I LOVED what you said about how if you see someone struggling with something, you are inclined to help them without being asked. I think that is 101 different flavors of awesome.

 

I'm curious, though. When you see someone who seems as though they need help, have you ever sent them a /whisper asking "Need some help?" That extra human touch would be awesome. Actually speaking to a person in chat forms a real, human connection that blind invites just don't convey. I'm not criticizing you, honestly, because you do seem like a very passionate person who wants to help people.

 

I'm just not sure why you are so angrily resisting the idea of actually talking to the people you want to help. That's all.

 

EDIT: Just read your post below mine after this posted. I think I understand you a lot better now! Thanks!

 

 

Quoted for being the 102nd flavor of Awesome. xD

[Kabjat]

Please don't mistake my passion about this subject as anger or hate or...whatever I'm VERY pro-community though.

 

And yes, I do. Honestly, I can't name a time I haven't sent a tell first, but I know I have. I ALWAYS try to ask first - not everyone does though, and I'm ok with them too

 

My passion in this topic is of trying to get people to accept our different habits, skill levels and social etiquette...not judge people by it. There's so much more to every player than how they invite you...don't let something so petty corrupt your opinion of them.

 

The part of your post I have colored green is exactly what I am going for in this thread. I really want people to understand each other. I have had to bite my tongue at the rudeness I and other posters in this thread have been dealt....totally undeserved.

 

Perhaps I should edit my OP because I think I've been misunderstood.

 

This is not a petty issue to me. That is why I started the thread. But just because I hold this viewpoint does NOT mean that I am not OPEN to understanding why people disagree with me. I just wish people wouldn't assume, throw insults, and ask questions later.

[Kindara]

Just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents even if its already been said before; its simply to add to the point that...Blind Invites are sometimes under some circumstances annoying.

 

1. Blind Invites when we're both hunting the same mob and its the only mob that counts aren't bad infact I dont mind them at all. Its nice if someone asks but I'll still take them since it works out well for all players involved.

 

2. Blind Invites are incredibly annoying when I'm in the middle of a battle or simply just surfing about (traveling). Suddenly your enjoying a ride through an area looking for craft nodes or just to get somewhere boom pop up in your face for god knows what. Even worse is if I'm in a battle and I'm try not to die.

 

3. Blind Invites when I'm simply sitting at the mail box because someone sees I'm a Tank and they need a tank is annoying. I won't accept them. Mos toften I'm at the mail box waiting on something, sending something to an alt or maybe I just logged in and its where i left off.

 

It just seems if you want to be Social and Group you'd be Social and take 10 - 15 seconsd to go "Hey we're hunting X or doing X flash point we could use you would you like to come" or even shorter if your to inept to type. I don't expect every single person to adhere to basic MMO etiquette, just as that person should not expect me to care and or answer their harrassment when they question or insult me because I hit no.

 

I refuse random invites most often because

A. you were being unsocial or rude by interrupting a fight you can clearly see I'm in

B. Maybe I'm not interested in doing whatever it is your doing

C. I'm likely waiting on a friend to log in so we can go and do something without you.

D. I'm already done questing there and I'm simply heading back to the NPC's to turn the quest in.

 

Several of these would quickly be answered if the person took afew seconds to ask. You dont go to a bar and simply grab someone and force them to dance and not get pissed off do you? No because that would likely get you punched or kicked out. (Wandering up to people and simply dancing next to them when they're dancing doesn't count in this example).

[Bluestone]

Wait, what?

 

You're saying you don't want to be bothered with having to talk to other people to invite them, you just want to click on them like an NPC, and we're the ones who should be playing a single player rpg???

 

Wordlessly inviting someone seems more social to you than sending a /tell first?

 

Really?

Lol, that is a great way to describe how it makes many people feel. "I am not an NPC, talk to me :)"

 

If they take the initiative and send an invite, I'll join and ask what they're doing.

I personally think the person asking you to join should explain why rather than force the unknowing recipient to ask as is far too often the case in blind invites, its not just not speaking beforehand, it's also no communication from them after accepting a blind invite.

I don't accept blind invites anymore because far too often people just assume you are doing what they are doing, or think that accepting their invite means you have to start following them around without even explaining what's going on. If that was a rare scenario rather than the norm for blind invites then I would gladly change my perception of them.

 

Sometimes I just want to take it easy, and not accepting an invite is also out of courtesy to not force other players to play my way.

I totally feel the same. Sometimes you just want to play at your own leisurely pace and more often than not when you group with someone else they just want to rush through everything.

[DarthKraken]

Adhere to my personal idea of what social norms are or face my WRATH

Better roll a Sith Warrior.

[LucentBeam]

Just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents even if its already been said before; its simply to add to the point that...Blind Invites are sometimes under some circumstances annoying.

 

1. Blind Invites when we're both hunting the same mob and its the only mob that counts aren't bad infact I dont mind them at all. Its nice if someone asks but I'll still take them since it works out well for all players involved.

 

2. Blind Invites are incredibly annoying when I'm in the middle of a battle or simply just surfing about (traveling). Suddenly your enjoying a ride through an area looking for craft nodes or just to get somewhere boom pop up in your face for god knows what. Even worse is if I'm in a battle and I'm try not to die.

 

I agree with you, especially on #1. The rest of the time, it's easy enough to just whisper to someone if they want to play together. What I find really rude is when you whisper to someone and they completely ignore you and don't respond. If you don't want to play, how hard is it to just respond "no" instead of running away with no response. I'd rather have someone send me a random invite trying to be nice than be explicitly rude and ignore me when I talk to them directly.

[boobaffet]

If you are killing the mob i need for the last part of the bonus quest, i will invite you to my party.

 

If you refuse, you are a jerk.

[VorpalK]

I've never declined a blind invite. Typing /invite $$$$$ and trying to spell your 14 character name right takes longer than for you to kill the mob we both need which would have completed both our bonuses giving us both 1500 exp. extra. It will only take you longer to level questing alone. With you obvious rebutlle that you're not trying to level quickly, sounds like you'd rather play a single player game, it'll certainly cost you less.

 

well you can right click on someone after targeting and invite I think.

 

I don't accept blind invites.

[VorpalK]

If you are killing the mob i need for the last part of the bonus quest, i will invite you to my party.

 

If you refuse, you are a jerk.

 

If I'm in the middle of combat when you invite me, you're getting turned down and /ignored. I'm busy. Wait until after or deal with it.

[ManOSteal]

If you are killing the mob i need for the last part of the bonus quest, i will invite you to my party.

 

If you refuse, you are a jerk.

 

I'm going to quote this even if it is a bit abrasive. If I am sitting and staring at the spawn point for a quest objective and I see someone else run up to do the same I instantly invite them because I don't want it to spawn and have them jump all over it thinking I'm going to try and race them for it. Sometimes I will send a tell if I like just saw the thing get destroyed, but if have no idea how long there is before a respawn I will just hit the invite first then try to talk to them.

[Kabjat]

What I find really rude is when you whisper to someone and they completely ignore you and don't respond.

 

This is something I have noticed too! I almost ALWAYS whisper the person who blind invited me with, "Hi there. Whatcha need?" or some variant, before I will consider accepting the invite. After all, it wouldn't help to group unless we both needed the same thing, would it?

 

As a general rule, the person won't answer me...AT ALL. It's almost like they are WILLFULLY refusing to answer my question until I accept their ninja-invite.

 

I really don't get it.

 

People defending this practice say that those of us who are ENDEAVORING to communicate are the ones that are anti-social for not accepting random party invites!

 

It's highly illogical to me, but it only makes me want to hear more from people about it.