"Friend or Foe" Proof that BW Hates Troopers

[FlippinFlapJack]

At level 44, it seems like playing trooper is just a grind match but I have come this far and I don’t want to quit now.

 

But to demonstrate how much BW hates the trooper class, we need to turn to Belsavis and ‘friend or foe’ mission.

 

So I wake up in the middle of the night and know I am not going back to sleep so I thought ‘hey let’s take the trooper out for a little spin’.

 

 

 

 

So I start from the most remote taxi stand on Belsavis, a PRISON PLANET, I might add. I hop on my little hover Vespa and drive on the road toward the green arrow for 16 hours. I finally get to the green arrow and go into the building where I have to get to another green arrow at the end.

 

After dispatching a few d-bags, I get to the end and walk into a completely different area outside with another green arrow leading into a building 300 miles away. However, to get to this green arrow, I have to fight a giant horde of minotaurs (the first of several references to hell).

 

When I finally get to the end of the of the minotaur gauntlet I enter the tunnel only to find that there is another green arrow at the other end. Lovely.

 

So I get back outside and find a republic base filled with a bunch of incompetent losers who all want me to do their jobs for them. Do they have a taxi station in case I have to, I don’t know, go to work or something and need to get back to this point in less than a week?

 

Of course not. All I get is “since you’re going that way and don’t have anything else to do, can you fix our electrical problems, tell my son it’s time to come home, find my car keys and bring me back some cough medicine while you’re at.”

 

Sure, why not, apparently, I have a hidden skill tree which makes me an electrical journeyman, certified master welder, private investigator, family councilor, tax accountant, probation officer, computer programmer, stamp collector and lion tamer. Besides, what else do I have to do besides fight a nightmarish horde of hellspawn and rescue the only pilot in the galaxy who can win the war that will decide the fate of all life in the universe?

 

So I go to another green arrow which leads to another green arrow which leads to another green arrow…

 

I fix the electrical problems, repair signal beacon, jump start captain Buttface’s speeder, proof read General Garza’s essay, steal the panties off of a one legged nun walking a goat and rescue the princess. Oh yeah, I also managed to kill 79,000 heavily armed rodeo bulls walking upright and I didn’t even put on clown make up.

 

I come to the last of the green arrows. I enter. I look at the map. No green arrow at the other end. Instead, there is a mission objective symbol. The castle arghhh, our journey is at an end.

 

Not so fast.

 

I figured since I have now been playing SWTOR for 460 hours straight, I may as well finish the mission.

 

I ‘round the corner where the cat I am supposed pick us is being choked out by some funky butt lovin’ sith. Before I can make this guy taste his own left ********, he tucks his tail between his legs and scampers off (I have a sith warrior alt who is going to find this pansy at the next sith convention and do stuff to him. I mean really sick stuff. Butt stuff.).

 

Now the dude I am there to scoop up, wants me to go after the punk that was just choking him, as if a sith that runs from a republic trooper is worth my time. Then out of no where there is a earthquake or more specifically a Belsavis quake.

 

Upon further observation, we find that it was not seismic activity at all but a 35 FOOT TALL DEMON DINOSAUR. So I spend the next hour fighting this horror.

 

Once its dead, a bunch of my “buddies” show up with a ‘we’ll take it from here’ attitude. I’m all like “where the hell have you been and why didn’t tell me there was back door to this place?”

 

They’re all like “we just showed up but missed all the action”

 

Don’t give me that crap! I can see the urine stains on your pants, you little wimps. You guys have been hiding in the corner, praying to the good of useless cowards that you don’t get in a fight and break a finger nail.

 

What’s worse, these guys have some magical transport mechanism to take their sorry butts and dude that I just rescued back to orbital station and take all the credit. Do I get to go with them? Do I even get offered a ride?

 

HELL NO!

 

I get left alone in a creepy tunnel in the maximum security wing of a PRISON PLANET!

 

Now the aforementioned, demon dinosaur’s children come at me. What is this, candid camera?

 

Now that the opportunistic jerks, who swooped in as soon as the heavy lifting was done are gone and there is more REAL WORK to do, I gotta go track down the pansy sith who was too cowardly to face in the first place, and why?

 

Because he is the only one who can prove Dagger Wing’s innocence.

 

You know what? F@#! Dagger Wing. They’re out of prison and back to fly boy circle jerk. Not my problem.

 

I need a drink and I am going to kick Yunn in the…well…whatever just on general principal.

 

 

[Eutoxis]

I laughed, I cried, I peed my pants. A little.

[Necodreus]

Lol, nice write up! Should have done one for all the Times we had to run back n forth in corscant before speeders allowed lol, man that was miserable, and bench why I went DS, seems like havoc squad won this war as no one else could trouble themselves from doing anything.

 

Ghrunn Felshard

50 DS Vanguard, 64 valor

Order of Methedras

Corellians Run

[Hythrel]

Simply amazing and so true lol

[origional]

When I leveled my Vanguard there was one mission, i forget what it was, that drove me nuts. You had to run back and forth and the mobs were spaced just a few steps apart and consisted of (group a) 3 normals, (group b) 1 normal 1 strong, and the ran a, b, a, b, a, b, a, b and so on.

 

You would complete the mission, and they would all be alive again, so you had to ab your way down the corrider, hand in the mission, get a new one, too go back down the same friggin corridior, and so on.

 

For some reason I didnt have that on my commando so i cant even recall what planet it was on. I think it was belsavis but not sure. Anyway. Almost made me quit the game it was so mind numbingly tedious and boring. Even worse than all teh rudging back and forth to general garaza, but then, her arse is so big if she moved their would be a shift in gravity.

[FlippinFlapJack]

Lol, nice write up! Should have done one for all the Times we had to run back n forth in corscant before speeders allowed lol, man that was miserable, and bench why I went DS, seems like havoc squad won this war as no one else could trouble themselves from doing anything.

 

Ghrunn Felshard

50 DS Vanguard, 64 valor

Order of Methedras

Corellians Run

 

Tell me about it. I started a JC just before 1.2. I didn't have sprint ability and it took me a half hour to get from the shuttle to the senate tower.

 

I started 2 other toons in the last few days and the sprint ability is available from the get go. If it was there the whole time, I must be an idiot (which wouldn't surprise me).

[FlippinFlapJack]

When I leveled my Vanguard there was one mission, i forget what it was, that drove me nuts. You had to run back and forth and the mobs were spaced just a few steps apart and consisted of (group a) 3 normals, (group b) 1 normal 1 strong, and the ran a, b, a, b, a, b, a, b and so on.

 

You would complete the mission, and they would all be alive again, so you had to ab your way down the corrider, hand in the mission, get a new one, too go back down the same friggin corridior, and so on.

 

For some reason I didnt have that on my commando so i cant even recall what planet it was on. I think it was belsavis but not sure. Anyway. Almost made me quit the game it was so mind numbingly tedious and boring. Even worse than all teh rudging back and forth to general garaza, but then, her arse is so big if she moved their would be a shift in gravity.

 

Don't I know it!

 

I fight through so many poorly constructed tunnels, elevators and caves, finally get to the end, waste the big bad boss, hack into the computer and save the day. then I turn around to leave and who's standing there?

 

The same 250 jerks I just put down. Some times I fell like a wimp fro quick traveling back to where I need to turn in the mission but it gets a little tedious after a while.

[Kongstadp]

Awesome, simply awesome

[Yakito]

You made me laugh I haven't laughed today yet. Thank you.

[erei]

There is also a mission in Belsavis, or Voss, I can't remember the planet, where the trooper smoke a room, with some bad guys inside. They are confused, and the trooper use an IA knife to kill them. The double bladed knife, I think it's called a shiv.

So, why suddenly my trooper, remember, the guy using a big assault cannon, with heavy armor, start to be sneaky, and use an empire knife ?

[Yakito]

There is also a mission in Belsavis, or Voss, I can't remember the planet, where the trooper smoke a room, with some bad guys inside. They are confused, and the trooper use an IA knife to kill them. The double bladed knife, I think it's called a shiv.

So, why suddenly my trooper, remember, the guy using a big assault cannon, with heavy armor, start to be sneaky, and use an empire knife ?

 

Artistic integrity.

[ObiWanJabroni]

This is what I refer to as the "PIAC tactic." Princess In Another Castle.

 

Its a dirty trick devs have been playing on people for years.

[Megwain]

O M G !!!!!!!

 

I JUST finished up the class quest on Belsavis last night and lemme tell ya, I was running with my brother (no, I am not a child and I am not a guy. I'm an old lady and I actually play this game with my MUCH older brother... poor drooling geriatric that he is), and it was getting late, but dang, it was the LAST class quest and I just wanted to LEAVE Belsavis.

 

After the green arrow, run, kill, run more, kill more, next green arrow, run, kill, run more, kill more thing I was about ready to turn my assault cannon on myself.

 

Your write up is awesome! I've copied it and emailed it to my brother so that he can share the laughter and the pain all over again.

 

Thanks for the laughs. =)

[DweezillKagemand]

Try playing a Scrapper.

 

Get nerfed 8 times

[mdesiderio]

Belsavis is the only planet that nearly made me quit the game. Seriously. Who designed it.

[FlippinFlapJack]

Belsavis is the only planet that nearly made me quit the game. Seriously. Who designed it.

 

Glad I'm not the only one. Sheesh, it is really getting tedious. I just hit level 46 and still have 6 missions to do. I have all the class quest out of the way, I might just skip it and go on to the a-77 mission.

[DarkCrossing]

I hate this damned planet and the Devs who designed it. One quest, three different arrows showing the way to the quest. Pass through one and it shows I should turn around. Turn around go back through the arrow I just came through and it says turn around. It just has me going back and forth and no other arrows to show where the hell I'm supposed to go! Been trying to figure this out for 30 minutes now!! :mad: :mad:

[Kaos_KidSWTOR]

You guy's hate Belsavis?!? WHAT?!? No, i'm serious. I love Belsavis, you guys must have some really ****** navigation skills and combat skills too. And with 12x Exp you can skip everything but your class missions and hit 60 and not even touch Voss OR Correlia! Correillia is the planet you should want to blow up. Not Belsavis...

[RowanThursday]

Ugh, Belsavis. Cow World.

 

Endless running round obscenely long walls, eternally running into trash, wading through convicts long enough for it to get boring, and then, just when you think the planet will be over soon... MOO! The Esh-kha start to appear, and then horribly creepy Acklays begin scuttling at you. Let's not forget the dozens of near-identical snobby Rakatan holograms, all of who's right eyes irritatingly clip with their eye-socket-flesh-gobbet thing. After a while the endless vaults with an Esh-cow or a malfunctioning droid on every corner all start to blur one into another. Really, when you learn the

Emperor plans to blow the planet to smithereens, my first thought is "Go for it, Vitiate ; please?"

 

[DomiSotto]

On the bright side, riding around Belsavis certainly gave many a member of the SWTOR community ample time to come up with the best jokes. I am still laughing every time I remember that "Eshkha" losely translates from the ancient High Rakata tongue as 'Bessie' Edited September 5, 2015 by DomiSotto

[AlrikFassbauer]

Belsavis is the only planet that nearly made me quit the game. Seriously. Who designed it.

 

Same here. And there were no proper taxi routes at all !

 

The only place I hate even more is Corellia.

 

On the bright side, riding around Belsavis certainly gave many a member of the SWTOR community ample time to come up with the best jokes. I am still laughing every time I remember that "Eshkha" losely translates from the ancient High Rakata tongue as 'Bessie'

 

As far as I understood it, ESH and KHA are actually 2 Greek letters.

I have no idea what these 2 letters are supposed to mean, though.

Edited September 5, 2015 by AlrikFassbauer

[RowanThursday]

 

As far as I understood it, ESH and KHA are actually 2 Greek letters.

I have no idea what these 2 letters are supposed to mean, though.

 

Moo Cow?

[AdrianDmitruk]

You guy's hate Belsavis?!? WHAT?!? No, i'm serious. I love Belsavis, you guys must have some really ****** navigation skills and combat skills too. And with 12x Exp you can skip everything but your class missions and hit 60 and not even touch Voss OR Correlia! Correillia is the planet you should want to blow up. Not Belsavis...

 

LOL check out the necro on this thread.

 

Yes, Belsavis was as described by the original post at launch. Bioware experimented with 12xp late in the 2.X patch cycle, and streamlined leveling (including adding the full taxi destinations regardless of map exploration, and reducing quick travel cooldowns) with 3.0.

 

At launch you had to discover a taxi station to use it, and you had to click on it, same with the quick travel points...ugh Belsavis was hell.

[DarthScruffy]

Belsavis is really bad on a pure tank.