The UnOfficial Healers Rant Thread

[Jalliah]

Hee hee.

 

This is my favorite. Half a dozen mobs. Some grouped, some range. Elites in the mix. All will start pew pewing when one is hit.

 

Tank jumps in without waiting for cc and/or breaks cc immediately.

 

Tank tags ranged and goes to group. Woo they're all hitting him but...

 

Each dps takes one ranged mob each.

 

Me in my head: Oh great here we go...

 

DPS pull aggro. Now everyone is taking damage.

 

Me spam, spamy spam heal...with main focus on tank while hoping he notices and gets threat back...or something..anything.

 

If tank notices he tries. Loses threat on group.... and they start pew pewing me

 

Me: Now spamy spam on tank and me and dps if I can...

 

And/or dps goes down, can't keep them up.. their mobs pew pew me now

 

Me: Spammy spam, on tank, on myself....

 

 

Either I go down first or tank does. Doesn't matter.

 

Then its' Why you no heal???????'

 

lol

[MikeMonger]

Tank jumps in without waiting for cc and/or breaks cc immediately.

 

You noticed that too? For some reason, at level 50 everybody seems to hate cc.

 

I'm sitting there going "I can take out that one elite and two regs with my ww" and they just force charge.

 

WTH?

[Darcedge]

Please write part 2! I will do a counterpoint tank rant on bad healers in reply.

 

 

I sooo want to see a tank rant bud..do it!!

[Jalliah]

You noticed that too? For some reason, at level 50 everybody seems to hate cc.

 

I'm sitting there going "I can take out that one elite and two regs with my ww" and they just force charge.

 

WTH?

 

I dunno. Maybe they think it will just take more time. Though dying I think is a real timesink.

 

All I know is that when I tank people will be ccing if necessary or I won't do it. It's a pain for me and I know it's a pain for the healer from experience.

 

I fall in love with people that just know and do it automatically, even without marking. Runs go smooth as butter. Friend me pls friend me!! lol

[Amdramnar]

something along the lines of "Man, I popped my cooldown too", or "Man, another 2k on my repair bill".

Basically stopped here. When DPS and tanks talk like this they are comiserating with each other to take the sting out of the loss not blaming the healer.

 

Then again, when I hear the following, I KNOW the healer is to blame...

- Bio Break

- Hang on, got to let the dog out

- Quick Soda Run

 

Oh and the worse insult EVAH...

- Wait the healer needs to regenerate force

[Darcedge]

Basically stopped here. When DPS and tanks talk like this they are comiserating with each other to take the sting out of the loss not blaming the healer.

 

Then again, when I hear the following, I KNOW the healer is to blame...

- Bio Break

- Hang on, got to let the dog out

- Quick Soda Run

 

Oh and the worse insult EVAH...

- Wait the healer needs to regenerate force

 

That's too bad you stopped there, I didn't start getting really funny till I started comparing BHs in pvp to Alligator snapping turtles, but you stopped reading there so...

[Ruuprect]

I like when the DPS jump in right before the tank because he took more than .5 seconds to get the next mob.

 

Also I like the people that stand in fire and ask why i did not heal them. Then complain in /tell to the other members of the group.

 

Great post OP, healers get no respect;)

[Muskaan]

Ok - so me (Sorc healer), merc DPS, Sniper DPS and Jugg tank enter a FP.

 

Jugg Tank: my AoE threat isnt very good

Me(Healer): Ok, lets get some CC going.

 

So, we CC some mobs and Jugg tank leaps in without breaking CC.

 

Merc DPS opens with a DFA. Seeing him, Sniper decides he needs to Orbital Strike.

 

Me == /groan.

 

(everyone except the tank is now taking damage)

[Jalliah]

I like when the DPS jump in right before the tank because he took more than .5 seconds to get the next mob.

 

Also I like the people that stand in fire and ask why i did not heal them. Then complain in /tell to the other members of the group.

 

Great post OP, healers get no respect;)

 

Ha ha. One time I was healing and the dps in our group kept doing this over and over. The tank wasn't even really that slow. The tank always got control back but even after several polite 'please don'ts' and a couple of not so polite ones they kept doing it.

 

So the tank whispered me that the next time it happened he was going to turn around and just run and asked if I was with him. Heck yah I was.

 

So we did.

 

It was funny.

[Darcedge]

Ok - so me (Sorc healer), merc DPS, Sniper DPS and Jugg tank enter a FP.

 

Jugg Tank: my AoE threat isnt very good

Me(Healer): Ok, lets get some CC going.

 

So, we CC some mobs and Jugg tank leaps in without breaking CC.

 

Merc DPS opens with a DFA. Seeing him, Sniper decides he needs to Orbital Strike.

 

Me == /groan.

 

(everyone except the tank is now taking damage)

 

 

HAHAHA, dude I have like tears in my eyes after reading this lol.

[Ruuprect]

Ha ha. One time I was healing and the dps in our group kept doing this over and over. The tank wasn't even really that slow. The tank always got control back but even after several polite 'please don'ts' and a couple of not so polite ones they kept doing it.

 

So the tank whispered me that the next time it happened he was going to turn around and just run and asked if I was with him. Heck yah I was.

 

So we did.

 

It was funny.

 

Lol, that is awsome.

 

Yeah, I get one almost every FP i do now. Almost always a Sentinal. If not right before the tank it's .00005 seconds after the tank starts and they get aggro every time. NO ONE W8s for the tank to get aggro. I can usually keep up but I go OOF and some of the HM bosses will 1 or 2 shot a dps doing this.

[Aiaus]

The Quon don't lay the big heals down on the DPS.

 

+5 Internets for anyone who gets that.

 

 

WOOT! +5 internets for me!

I shall never forget The Quon or his guild application!

 

The Quon lets tanks get to the purple zone then heals them. It's more mana efficient. Best cleric/healer ever!

[Saerith]

You can't blame a single healer when your raid has four of them pumping out heals. If a player dies, quite frankly, it's that player's fault and nobody else's.

[Blotter]

"they seem to think it's allways the healer's fault."

 

Welcome to playing a healer. I play one myself. I played one in WoW. It is ALWAYS our fault, no matter how freekin stupid the tanks and dps were behaving. This is true especially in small groups, because the kids who think they're just so unbelieveably awesome at spamming their dps or ignoring their non-damaging taunt/aggro abilities to up their damage output...they will ALWAYS say it's because you fail at healing. There's no convincing them otherwise, especially in a game that has so many buffoons running around claiming that all of it is super easy.

[Crutchess]

Dear Healers and DICs (defined as those with a dps inferiority complex, many of you have responded to this thread, I'm looking at you marauder guy who wrote 5 paragraphs about the buttons he pushes to not die to a fart. A fart. Dude, how could you possibly take that seriously? you must be a DIC),

 

There are many situations which we encounter together, your response to which often drives me freaking insane. I will begin with the stray standard ranged mob who has decided to aggro you, mr. healer. I know your first though is "why am i getting shot" followed by "why doesn't tank/dps have aggro on this" followed by "I'll just stand here and hope something happens." A lot of ya'll have freakin CC, use that stuff, I know you love the green numbers but dang man, use that whirlwind button. Mr. DIC, (this does not include all dps, only the ones who are true DICs) a strong melee mob has decided to aggro you. There are 4 normal mobs which you totally ignored while spamming some aoe or another, one of them was mentioned previously and is now attacking our healer. Your response is to run away. I am a Jugg tank, with a freakin light saber. If you were walking down the street and a guy threatens to attack you with a knife and you see a guy across the street wearing a bunch of giant plate armor, wielding a giant sword, and wearing a t-shirt that says "I Help Those Being Attacked by Guys With Knives" would you run towards the guy with the sword, or away from him? If you are 40 feet away from me I can't do anything dude! Stay where the hell you are; or better yet, run TO me, not AWAY from me.

 

My healer buddy and two DICs are currently engaged in an epic fight against a boss that has a time period where he doesn't seem to do anything. Take for instance, HK-47 after the adds die and hes hanging out in his cone of silence. This is a prime opportunity to top us off. Not just me, I'm good, but that DIC over there just got rocked a bit because he refused to use his knockback on the add. Toss him some green numbers bro, when this guy comes out of the cone of silence hes gonna pissed we jacked up his robots.

 

Since we're in the Foundry already, I have another question for ya'll, why the heck are you clicking all of those blue computer things? We have to kill like 80 extra mobs and we don't get anything for it but a measly 4k credits. It takes like 10 seconds to channel open that thing, my baby is crying, my wife is telling me dinner is ready, I have to pee like a racehorse, and I have the innate desire, or instinct, to force charge the next group of mobs with only half health. If you spent your time healing me back up we'd be fine, but you're off on the other side of the .... WHY ARE YOU STILL CLICKING THAT THING!!!

 

My fearless companions and I are now taking on a boss with a non chaneled, but super freaking obvious aoe that hurts like a truck. Take for Instance, Tregg the Destroyer in HM False Emperor. He is spinning around in a giant circle with a bright red sword and your health is dropping really fast. I know, you have a little fake shield thing you are hiding behind, but for the love of god move away from the guy with the giant sword whose name is Tregg the DESTROYER. You: "What bro, I was behind cover?" Me: "Move dude."

 

We have encountered one of the myriad of bosses who has an aggro reset, or, when I am out of melee range, he attacks someone else, or, maybe he randomly targets someone with a big hit ability. I know I'm the tank but its physically impossible for me to take that damage. Don't freak out. My health is totally topped off, please stop shooting green numbers at me, shoot them at the mercenary over there who is getting punched in the face. Mercenary, see paragraph 1, section 2, regarding not running away from me. This guy is a boss, he runs just as fast as you dude, and he hits harder when hes hitting you in the back.

 

My fearless DICs plus a healer are approaching a pull which I find is easiest to execute using Line of Sight mechanics. This means I'm going to use one of my incredibly weak ranged attacks, possibly the light saber boom a rang, to get their attention, and then I'm going to run behind the wall that I just asked all of you to wait behind until the bad guys show up. I throw my saber, and come running behind the wall, but all of you did not heed the wait part of those instructions and are all over the map shooting whatever you want. Healer, you just ran out alone and started pumping heals on me. While I appreciate those heals, they generate aggro, and I have none. Now they are all shooting you. Don't do that please. I'm not a powertech. This becomes especially important on the bonus boss in Kaon. That mother is not easy, stay behind the damn wall until I come out.

Edited February 6, 2012 by Crutchess

[Darcedge]

Dear Healers and DICs (defined as those with a dps inferiority complex, many of you have responded to this thread, I'm looking at you marauder guy who wrote 5 paragraphs about the buttons he pushes to not die to a fart. A fart. Dude, how could you possibly take that seriously? you must be a DIC),

 

There are many situations which we encounter together, your response to which often drives me freaking insane. I will begin with the stray standard ranged mob who has decided to aggro you, mr. healer. I know your first though is "why am i getting shot" followed by "why doesn't tank/dps have aggro on this" followed by "I'll just stand here and hope something happens." A lot of ya'll have freakin CC, use that stuff, I know you love the green numbers but dang man, use that whirlwind button. Mr. DIC, (this does not include all dps, only the ones who are true DICs) a strong melee mob has decided to aggro you. There are 4 normal mobs which you totally ignored while spamming some aoe or another, one of them was mentioned previously and is now attacking our healer. Your response is to run away. I am a Jugg tank, with a freakin light saber. If you were walking down the street and a guy threatens to attack you with a knife and you see a guy across the street wearing a bunch of giant plate armor, wielding a giant sword, and wearing a t-shirt that says "I Help Those Being Attacked by Guys With Knives" would you run towards the guy with the sword, or away from him? If you are 40 feet away from me I can't do anything dude! Stay where the hell you are; or better yet, run TO me, not AWAY from me.

 

My healer buddy and two DICs are currently engaged in an epic fight against a boss that has a time period where he doesn't seem to do anything. Take for instance, HK-47 after the adds die and hes hanging out in his cone of silence. This is a prime opportunity to top us off. Not just me, I'm good, but that DIC over there just got rocked a bit because he refused to use his knockback on the add. Toss him some green numbers bro, when this guy comes out of the cone of silence hes gonna pissed we jacked up his robots.

 

Since we're in the Foundry already, I have another question for ya'll, why the heck are you clicking all of those blue computer things? We have to kill like 80 extra mobs and we don't get anything for it but a measly 4k credits. It takes like 10 seconds to channel open that thing, my baby is crying, my wife is telling me dinner is ready, I have to pee like a racehorse, and I have the innate desire, or instinct, to force charge the next group of mobs with only half health. If you spent your time healing me back up we'd be fine, but you're off on the other side of the .... WHY ARE YOU STILL CLICKING THAT THING!!!

 

My fearless companions and I are now taking on a boss with a non chaneled, but super freaking obvious aoe that hurts like a truck. Take for Instance, Tregg the Destroyer in HM False Emperor. He is spinning around in a giant circle with a bright red sword and your health is dropping really fast. I know, you have a little fake shield thing you are hiding behind, but for the love of god move away from the guy with the giant sword whose name is Tregg the DESTROYER. You: "What bro, I was behind cover?" Me: "Move dude."

 

We have encountered one of the myriad of bosses who has an aggro reset, or, when I am out of melee range, he attacks someone else, or, maybe he randomly targets someone with a big hit ability. I know I'm the tank but its physically impossible for me to take that damage. Don't freak out. My health is totally topped off, please stop shooting green numbers at me, shoot them at the mercenary over there who is getting punched in the face. Mercenary, see paragraph 1, section 2, regarding not running away from me. This guy is a boss, he runs just as fast as you dude, and he hits harder when hes hitting you in the back.

 

My fearless DICs plus a healer are approaching a pull which I find is easiest to execute using Line of Sight mechanics. This means I'm going to use one of my incredibly weak ranged attacks, possibly the light saber boom a rang, to get their attention, and then I'm going to run behind the wall that I just asked all of you to wait behind until the bad guys show up. I throw my saber, and come running behind the wall, but all of you did not heed the wait part of those instructions and are all over the map shooting whatever you want. Healer, you just ran out alone and started pumping heals on me. While I appreciate those heals, they generate aggro, and I have none. Now they are all shooting you. Don't do that please. I'm not a powertech. This becomes especially important on the bonus boss in Kaon. That mother is not easy, stay behind the damn wall until I come out.

 

 

 

I laughed...so hard when I read that my gut is still hurting. You are my kind of tank and when they open server transfers I am coming to your server and expect a G-Invite!

[Crutchess]

Anytime, Grand Master Zym a few years from now.

[Napalm_AKI]

This thread is really funny, and too true, I loled for good ten minutes. Thanks for the effort writing that.

[lunabaguna]

In defense of jugg tanks, Bioware gave them zero aoe threat. Juggs are made to tank 1-2 mobs and do it with godlike awesomeness. This means a jugg should be able to hold the gold mobs and take minimal damage, meaning shield+hot keeps them up, while the dps murder face the normal and silver adds.

 

With a jugg tank you should primarily be healing dps on all non boss fights. Blame bioware

[Darcedge]

This thread is really funny, and too true, I loled for good ten minutes. Thanks for the effort writing that.

 

Appreciate it, when I first put it up I thought I made a mistake doing it but then quite a few of you came on here laughing and sharing stories and it ended up doing what I intended.

 

Hurray to you for reading whole thing and seeing it for what it was.

[Zelmac]

As I wipe the tears from my eyes... My stomach and jaws hurt from laughing soooooooo much!!! Mighty fine post and mighty fine responses. I hvaen't laughed this hard in a very long time!!!

[GraingerX]

In my opinion, everybody in a group should keep their pie hole shut regardless of their role.

 

It's not exclusive to healers, by the way. Tanks get yelled at, DPS for disturbing CC by accident.

 

If you don't like the way someone else plays, you have two friendly options;

1) Aid them in learning, or

2) Get the fluck out.

 

Damn straight! I hear ya.

 

This issue is mostly with PUGs, but CAN happen with guild members as well.

 

But Rocket has a valid point - aid them or leave. Simple as that. Bitc**** and moaning is not going to do anything but piss people off - and then you wonder why nobody wants to group anymore in pugs.

 

Frankly, if one of my guild members is doing a sub par job...not only will I play the WHOLE team, but I would pull that person aside and work with them OR ask them if they have any issues with their class.

 

Very simple to do and takes less than 15mins after a failed run.

 

For you all that pug, alls I can say is to just move on. If you get 3 deaths in the same fight, chances are you are most likely not going to finish it.

 

But you never know.