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Reader's Digest: 50 THINGS (your healer won't tell you)


Mirdthestrill

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5 Things I am thinking whilst healing...

 

- Green is pretty, red it scary.

 

- Sometimes when I shoot you with green bullets I imagine they are red and I am the one killing you when you run and do something stupid.

 

- I am so winning the big stuffed animal at the state fair this year in whack-a-mole.

 

- I wish my CC worked on friendlies (ice cube in SWG was the best).

 

- Do I have time to do a /slap emote before I cast another heal?

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When you wipe due to enrage timers two times in a row and the dps says: "I heard this fight is really hard on the healer."

 

This! I love it when DPS complains that the tank is too squishy/healer is low geared to do HM:s when we hit enrage timers while they are wearing greens :)

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This! I love it when DPS complains that the tank is too squishy/healer is low geared to do HM:s when we hit enrage timers while they are wearing greens :)

 

once a new dps told us after we failed an enrgage timer: if only the tank and healer were better geared, then we could do this boss with 1 healer and the other one be a dps. we could then easily beat the enrage timer...

 

i lol'ed so hard in rl :D

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Tanks who run way off (leap, charge, whatever) without notice and completely out of the range of healers and complain that they died, like we intentionally betrayed them to death's icy talons.

 

Give me a heads up - you never know what I might be doing with my hands.

 

I don't even remember where we were, but I had a Jugg tank and two Maras all Force Leap up onto something where my Sorc couldn't get to without running through the huge pack of Elites that they wanted to skip, then they all cried when I couldn't heal.

 

Like I've told most of the people I've healed since BC: If you die doing something stupid, I will laugh at your corpse until you run back.

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I don't even remember where we were, but I had a Jugg tank and two Maras all Force Leap up onto something where my Sorc couldn't get to without running through the huge pack of Elites that they wanted to skip, then they all cried when I couldn't heal.

 

Extricate the tank back down, then you can heal him just fine. Shame about those dead Marauders though. They will be mourned with laughter.

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Wow, had no idea the thread was going to get this long. I'VE CREATED A MONSTER!

 

Well, if there were a 'Cure stupid' button, this thread would have ceased to exist a while ago :D Unfortunately, there will always be an endless supply of idiots who like to stand in fire.

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1. I hit jet boost and spread them all over the place, not because i want to laugh at your stupid a**s running around chasing them, but because i needed to get them off of me.

 

1a. sometimes i hit jet boost because orbital strike on empty dirt actually IS pretty funny.

 

2. why yes, i do enjoy kiting the untanked mobs to the beginning of the instance while you learn how to tank.. :p

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How to make YOUR pvp healer Love You Long Time:

 

1. DON'T...make her stand IN FRONT of you!!

 

2. DO...Peel off the guy who's melting her....she dies; you die.

 

3. DO...Dps the hell out him, so she doesn't have to do it.

 

4. /shrug...you're the one with only 12k hp...

 

5. DO...Stay in Line of Sight...she's not Elastic Woman.

 

6. DON'T...brag about your 100 kbs and 0 deaths...no, you were not awesome...

Edited by Kissimmee
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Learn2healz? I did, first lesson was all about not wasting heals on morons.

 

How to spot a moron? Easy, they are stood in red circles behind me and out of line of sight behind a pillar pulling 3 groups of mobs that the tank hasn't seen..... whilst shouting in all caps for me to heal him!

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I am in no way a healer nor do I have the patience to be one. I am however a role that requires healing to be effective, and know very well no healer no go.

 

I salute all you healers out there esp. the ones that let stupid die, some people need to touch the frying pan on the stove to know hot is bad.

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Dear Dps

I might bring you a roll of loo-roll if you're already sitting down and its run out, but i'm not gonna wipe your arse for you aswell.

 

(translation for people that didnt get the comparison, yes i'll heal you but you've got to take some responsibility for your own survival aswell, how about some defensive cooldowns?)

 

Love from me.

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Gotta echo the hatred of tanks who think they can blithely Force-leap in when I'm still low on energy from the last fight, and then ***** when they die. I've met some INSANELY stupid tanks who just don't get how to protect their healer/wait for him to recover.
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Sure i'll be glad to off tank for you when you pull 3 or 4 groups of mobs.

 

i dont need line of sight or range . these kolto injections magically arrive in your body from anywhere on the map.

 

yes i will interupt the boss for you becasue you dont have the reflexes . its not like i have anything else to do

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From a NMM Raid healer to all you new tanks and DPS:

 

When you're gearing up in those HM Flashpoints, a LOT of those mobs can be stunned in numberous ways. A stunned mob does ZERO damage to players. And if you have an AOE that stuns / knocks down a lot of mobs. . . guess how much your healers will LOVE you?

Edited by Maglen
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This applies to Sage healers only sorry :(

 

Next time you get an over zelous dps or a tank thats tries to chain pull. Just use rescue and pull them back.

 

It's like slapping then on the wrist in front of the whole raid/group.

 

They soon learn.

 

Try to do it while they are force leaping for maximum effect.

Edited by Karma_UK
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My main isn't a healer, but I genuinely appreciate all these comments. They've helped me improve my tanking. :D

 

playing a tank helps one become a better healer..

playing a healer helps one become a better tank..

playing a dps leads to loss of brain power.. :p

 

everyone should play a healer and a tank.. :D

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