Crezelle
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Huh. This continuation (with bonus family!) tumbled out on the heels of Ruth's previous Discovery prompt, and I swear after this I'm done for the week. I really need to get a hobby.
Quinn read the whole datacube’s worth of old letters. Ruth’s parents had corresponded regularly throughout their time together; Dolarra was often traveling for her work (Intelligence, obviously, though he could tell maddeningly little beyond that from what she said) and Colran, from the sound of it, was a habitual letter-writer to many of his friends.
For eight years they avoided hard facts, details of work, traceable names, and yet still managed to write volumes. About life, about the Empire, about each other; about Ruth, when she came along; about the planets Dolarra saw, though she seemed to put intentional delays and vagueness in describing them so he couldn’t trace her exact routes; about the Force, where Colran’s descriptions sounded much like Ruth’s always had, only better articulated.
Quinn envied both the love and the purpose that threaded through every letter. He envied the father who had gotten to be there for his young child. With every glowing passage, Quinn envied the years he had almost had.
It took him a couple of weeks to work through the full index of correspondence. When he was finished, he tried to think of who to contact to return it. Calling Ruth directly was asking for a fight. Secretaries seemed wrong for a trust like this. So he called Jaesa Brindel, née Wilsaam.
When she came up on holo, she smiled the smile he had heard others describe as winsome. “General Quinn. This is a pleasant surprise.”
“It’s been a while.” Several years, in fact; Jaesa had supervised his visits to Rylon for years, but eventually he was allowed to see his son alone, and from then on his sole contact with Ruth’s camp was done through her secretaries. “I need to get something valuable to Ruth. Do you think you could arrange for a pickup from Kaas City?”
“I’m in town myself today. I can take care of it.”
*
She met him in the office he kept at the city’s military headquarters. She looked much as she always had: mousy, nonthreatening, though even with the slight rounding out of the years she moved with a certain balance that suggested it would be difficult to take her by surprise.
“Thank you for coming,” he said. “How are you? How are Kaeve, the twins?”
“All of the above are doing well,” she said. “How are things with you?”
“Good, thank you.” He didn’t ask about her weak bordering on pacifist political aspirations, and she didn’t ask about his unending push for total victory in a war he would never compromise on. They were polite like that.
He had never been friends with the gentle former Jedi; all they had in common was Ruth, and Jaesa’s primary goal there was to encourage the softest, most dangerously vulnerable parts of her. But when Ruth had collared and imprisoned Quinn after his betrayal, Jaesa was the one who, unbidden, had thought to feed him and, in those first few brutal days, tend to the worst of Pierce’s physical retribution. Jaesa was, to reduce it to two words, inexplicably gracious, and since the falling-out with Ruth that had helped matters a great deal.
“I’m glad,” she was saying. “I heard you and Ruth were back in contact, but she’s pretty tight-lipped about you.”
“Really.”
“Yes. Sometimes glowingly so – “ she smiled – “and sometimes…not…but she doesn’t say much either way.”
“I see. I just need an item returned to her. It would help if you could let her know I didn’t intend to take it, it accidentally ended up in my things.” He produced the datacube, an ornate golden thing scarcely two fingers’ widths to a side.
Jaesa’s eyes widened. “Is that what I think it is?” She snatched it out of his hands, tapped it active, looked over the text index that it projected. “Where did you find this?”
“It fell out of the coat closet while I was on my way out one day. I happened to catch it.”
“This is great! I put it together for Ruth some time ago. You know how much she loves anything to do with her mother, but she never had time to finish plowing through her father’s files after he died. I pulled this all together, but then the cube vanished before I could give it to her. I was convinced the whole thing was lost.” Her eyes sparkled when she smiled. “Did you read any of it?”
“Yes.”
“It’s wonderful, isn’t it?”
“It explains a great deal about her,” he said cautiously.
“She was lucky, having parents like that.”
“They were lucky, too.”
“I know. Some of it sounded just like…” She caught herself. “Well. Other things.”
Don’t touch the thought of her and me. That’s mine. “There aren’t many other things like the relationship laid out in those letters.”
“I guess you’re right.” She paused. “Are you all right?”
In front of you? “Quite. It’s kind of you to ask.”
“I’ll get this to her. And I’ll let her know you didn’t mean to walk off with it. Anything else you want me to pass along?”
He considered, decided to risk the small personal touch. “Yes. Tell her I said happy birthday.”
*
June, 27 ATC
Ruth read every letter the datacube stored. She read them again. It took her weeks; she was working, managing her intelligence network, coordinating a handful of strategic projects, doing some field work herself. And reading her parents’ words as fast as she could in every spare moment.
It was the most of her mother she had ever seen. It was a perspective on her father she had never known. It was…a lot, and Ruth was grateful Jaesa had found the old letters and put them together. She didn’t know how to feel about the fact that Quinn had gotten his hands on it for a while.
But the correspondence was that of a well-meaning Sith and a dedicated, Force-blind Imperial, and a great deal of it was familiar. A great deal of it was what she had thought she had for a while, before it all went to hell. She missed it. And she was starting to imagine that Quinn was capable of knowing it for what it had been, too.
So, eventually, she called him. It took him a minute to pick up, but he got there.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome,” he said carefully. “I hope you like it.”
“You kept it for a while. Did you read any of it?”
“Yes.” He sounded like he was braced for impact.
“I’m really glad this wasn’t lost to the unfathomable shadows of the coat closet.”
He relaxed, very slightly, and smiled. “I aim to serve.”
She realized she was rapidly turning the datacube over in her hands. With an effort she stilled herself. “Would you be willing to talk sometime?”
“I could.”
“You free next Tuesday?”
The man actually flinched. Very slightly, but it was there, as his face drained of everything but something like pain. “Not then.”
“Why no- Oh.” The incident. The sixteenth anniversary thereof. “If you’d rather spend the day apart...”
“I think that would be safest.”
“In the interest of managing our tempers, I think you’re right. Saturday after?”
“That could be arranged.”
“Good. I think there’s something worth fixing. I’d like to talk about how.” She tapped the datacube. “We had something. I think I haven’t given you enough credit for just how much.”
“We had something. And we’ll talk.” He took a deep breath. “But first we have an anniversary to survive. I have to go, Ruth. I’ll call you when I know what the logistics look like for Saturday.”
The holo cut out.
Ruth had butterflies in her stomach. Optimism was probably premature, but for some reason, for the first time in quite a while, the butterflies were pleasant.
ruth is now my soap opera fix. what would be more hilarious if someone wrote thier femwar/quinn/pierce dynamics like a gender-reversed reeba.
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Ceiling watcher is watching you...
um...
something beginning with m?
"manage to extract intel from a fat droid nerd via sexytimes" ?
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Crez, I love you but.. you are a monster...
<3 i have a few more planned.
i have a twisted sense of humor sometimes i know >.>;
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other people post here too. i'll start with this little horror for the agents
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m80hcrTInq1rbigqmo1_1280.jpg
aand another....
http://i837.photobucket.com/albums/zz293/Crezelda/advicevette.jpg
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nah, still enjoy the game. love vanity items. i'm okay with this.
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I fully agree.
me too. pay to gay is NOT okay
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Prompt: Family
Title: We Belong
Characters: Sha’ra’zaed (Operative), Vector
I guess I picked the right week to write my agent. I haven’t written too much for her aside from a ‘Cliff’s Notes’ background sketch and an I-can’t-decide-whether-it’s-canon episode (http://www.swtor.com/community/showpost.php?p=4670444&postcount=139). I don’t get to play her as much as I’d like, and I only just started Act 3. And while I’ve accumulated enough affection to trigger all of Vector’s quests, I’m holding off on finishing (even though I’ve finished Kaliyo and Lokin) for reasons that will become apparent. I compressed and juggled the timeline a bit here (regarding Vector’s quests) because it made more sense in my story.
The seed for this one started with the juxtaposition of the last of Vector’s and Lokin’s companion quests with Agent Hoth and Act 2 ending. I intended it for “Discovery” but it ended up more at “Family”. Fairly short, only 1500 words, and almost all dialog so it reads quick.
Obviously contains spoilers for the above stories, specifically the Chiss Agent ‘version’ of Hoth. Also some general Alderaan quests. Sorry to be so OCD about the warnings. I’m going out of my way to avoid agent story spoilers in particular, so I’m trying to give others the same chance.
As planets in the midst of a civil war go, Alderaan was doing rather well. Outside of a few armed patrols and restrictions on civilian travel, one would be hard-pressed to know there was a conflict going on at all. Unless, of course, one happened to stumble into the wrong area. It made Sha’ra’zaed think of an obscure sporting event; one with rules only the participants could fathom. But at the same time it was so familiar as to be painful.
Sha’ra’zaed set the speeder down in the meadow. This had been part of House Cortess’ holdings not so long ago. Now it was part of the Oroboro nest. Friendly territory, though most of the Human inhabitants of Alderaan avoided it anyway. Vector sat on a wide, flat stone, his face turned to the evening sun setting over the distant mountains.
“The delegates have all gone,” she said, approaching, “I thought you’d be with the nest. It’s not often you get to be with the other Killiks.”
He turned to her, “We were. For a time. But we prepare ourselves to take our leave. We are the Dawn Herald, and we will not always be among the Kind.”
She took a seat beside him. “What is it like, Vector? Being Killik?” asked Sha’ra’zaed.
“We’re not sure we understand the question, agent,” replied Vector.
Sha’ra’zaed sighed, “A long time ago I met another joiner on Alderaan, a recent joiner, and she seemed truly happy. Every joiner I’ve met expresses happiness at the bond, including yourself. None want to be severed from the nest. I know you suppressed the bond temporarily, but that was for my benefit, not yours.”
Vector tipped is head, “True, Sha’ra’zaed. To join is a gift.”
“And yet most beings dread the possibility,” she continued, “The very idea sends most Alderaanians into a panic.” Sha’ra’zaed glanced at the House Cortess compound. She caught a glimpse of Killik mounds over the walls and became aware of the constant hum of nest activity. “Certainly no one in House Cortess believed it was a gift.”
“You did not object at the time,” said Vector.
“I could see no other way to be sure I’d ended the conspiracy. Not in so short a timeframe. I didn’t have months to go through the entire House and remove it surgically,” she said.
“And now you have doubts,” said Vector, “about whether you did the right thing.”
“Not…exactly,” said Sha’ra’zaed. “I know you treasure your bond, but I…” she trailed off with a slight shrug.
Vector let the quiet drag on. Let the distant buzz fill the gap in their conversation. “You sometimes say more in silence than many say with words. It is very Killik,” he said at last. “You do not understand how we—how…I…could choose to become one with the hive. To give up that which most beings value above all things. And that we would chose to do so again, even knowing that our decision was brought about for the benefit of others. Others not of the nest.” Sha’ra’zaed’s only response was a mute nod. Vector continued, “Particularly in light of what you risked to regain your independence. You especially, who treat the ills of others. You are acutely aware of the fragility of the organic mind.”
“You knew,” she said.
Vector shifted, “We scented the change in you very early, but we did not know you well and did not comprehend its nature. And again, after Quesh. Though by that time we had observed your…conditioning. A mystery no longer. But your question is not a biological one,” he said.
“And you still haven’t answered it,” she replied.
“We cannot hear your thoughts, Sha’ra’zaed. And our observations suggest the questions you ask are not the ones you want answered,” Vector said, “they merely dance around the edges. In this as in many things. You are a curiously circuitous person.”
This brought a tiny smile to her face, “Old habits die hard.”
Vector turned to face her fully, “Nevertheless, I shall answer your true question. To be Killik is to belong. No matter how much space is between us, we are always part of the nest. It is to hear the song of the universe, and know that it is a chorus of infinite voices, all singing together. Our part is just one of many, but without ours, the song is lessened. That is what it is to be of the Kind.” Vector brushed a blue lock of her hair behind her ear, “and now we have a question of our own. What is it like to be Chiss?” he asked.
She narrowed her eyes slightly, “That’s only fair. Very like being human, I suppose.”
Vactor’s hand touched hers, “You do not speak much of your people. Yet after receiving a brief holocall from Arisocra Saganu you seemed pleased. Happy. You sparkled. As though he lifted a great weight from your spirit, despite the fact that many things remained unresolved.”
“I also seem to have very little privacy,” she said, though there was no malice in her tone.
“Forgive us, but To Sail the Wine-Dark Sky is a small vessel, and your aura was scintillating for days. We could not help but notice. We would like to understand why.”
Sha’ra’zaed sighed, “He made me a merit-adoptive of his House, House Miurani,” she said.
Vector smiled, his hand hovered just above hers, “You shimmer just saying the words. And you answer our question without granting knowledge.” He touched her hair again, “We love you, Haraz, with your cautious conversation and your guarded ways. May we not share your happiness?”
She took his hand, “It means I can go home again, Vector, to Csilla, if I choose to. It shouldn’t matter to me. I’ve lived outside the Ascendancy longer than I ever did in it. I made my peace with—” Sha’ra’zaed swallowed hard, “with exile a long time ago.”
“It matters because they are your people,” said Vector. He moved his fingers through the air close to her as though touching something she could not perceive. “But there are also blue shards of ambiguity. Why were you no longer welcome among your own kind?”
“It’s…complicated,” she said.
“Most interesting things are,” Vector replied.
Sha’ra’zaed stared off into the distance, “Chiss politics are…difficult for an outsider to comprehend.”
“It would give us great pleasure to learn,” said Vector.
Sha’ra’zaed released him and picked at the piping on her sleeve, “My kin-group was a little like Alderaan’s House Rist. Valuable to other Houses, but not well liked. Not powerful of ourselves, but with powerful allies. Allies who would be pleased to see us gone, but unwilling to move against us. Until finally we were no longer worth the trouble.” She forced her hands to be still. “Without a family, I had no place. I was too young to be worth adopting for my skills, and not young enough to be child-placed. I had too many enemies and no patron.” Sha’ra’zaed shrugged, “I was exile. But the Empire is not my benefactor and Intelligence is not my family. I thought so, once, in my naiveté, or perhaps just hoped they would serve the same role. Not anymore.” She bent her head, but she was smiling, “Now I have a family. I am a merit-adoptive of House Miurani, and I don’t need them anymore.”
Vector touched her cheek gently, “We think you understood what it is like to be of the Kind before you asked us. Why we would choose to Join. Why we would not lightly give it up.”
Sha’ra’zaed nibbled her lip, “I thought I was long past caring about the Ascendancy and my people and what they might think of me. I was wrong.” She straightened, “Aristocra Saganu would not make this offer in a vacuum. And he would not have done so without doing his research. He wants something. Politics, maybe. An overt connection to the Empire. An inside read on its policies and actions. Someone to strengthen his position in his House,” she took a breath, “Or perhaps something more personal.”
Vector’s hand halted mid-caress for a fraction of a second. “He…did seem to like you,” he said at last.
“That was the point,” she replied, lapsing into silence again. “But I did not anticipate this move. It…complicates things,” she said finally.
He traced the edge of her ear with his thumb, “Interesting things are,” he repeated.
She met his eyes, solid black, dark mirrors of her own, “Once, just once, I’d prefer things a bit less complicated. No games, no lies, no ulterior motives. No calculating advantages,” she said.
Vector leaned in closer, “We will, of course, support you, Haraz. Always, and without reservation.” He kissed her, with the night sky going purple and a red moon rising behind them.
hrrrrrm, i do wish ccila would become a race-specific unlockable planet to see. ...and maybe more saganu.... yes. more saganu. and of course any vector fluff gets my seal of approval, especially when chiss rock the rive
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Kurez'eru'da
My ffxi name was Crezelda, had a jp friend who would sometimes call me that ( minus the 's ) in katakana
but now she only goes by Crezelle
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SCORPIO, very quietly: And now I will see if they uncover a weakness I have not yet identified.
dashades are weak to ice elemental dammage?
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"I'm steady and sure in all things my Lord" I could not think of a not naughty canned response story for pierce....
lol this reminds me of my " companion quotes taken out of context" thread
vector has some good ones too
" We hope your satisfied"
"we...encountered difficulties"
"we're quite pleased with the results"
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here, i'll add parts 1 and 2 together for my discovery theme
F1IA and vector, fluffs fluffs FLUFFS
Crezelle yawned, rolled over in her bed, and lazily tried to let sleep eat another hour of time. Hyperspace travel from one sector to the next could take weeks, even over a month if the astrogation maps were out of date. It was near the end of particularly long trips like this one that she would grow sluggish, sleeping nearly as much as she was awake. She could get up, but most mornings like this she would doze lazily, letting her mind wander to every point in her imagination and memory. Some times the best things in life were the simplest.
Eventually her mind and body would become too restless to continue this morning ritual, and give way to daily tasks on ship. Shower, breakfast, check on each of the crew members to see how they fare. Diagnostics on the ship. Debriefings for individual crew projects. Even strengthening the social bonds between her and her crew was a task to be kept up to date. With a lot as dysfunctional as the one she was given in her life, keeping a cohesive community within her ship was a feat in itself.
"Temple, where did you hide Kaliyo's tequilla?
Kaliyo, she won't hide your booze if you don't give her reason to.
No SCORPIO, you use the test dummies for that, not the twovee unit.
Vector, keep your hatchlings out of the medbay, or i can't be responsible for what happens to them if they get into Lokin's projects.
Okay Lokin, i'll get you the samples by lunch, but i want to know EXACTLY what you need them for."
Check the progress of the flight. Landing in a few days. Got to keep the body in shape despite being in a small ship. Crezelle picked up the vibroknives she kept for practice, and headed to the cargo bay.
******
Vector kneeled off to the side in the cargo bay. It was quiet here, he could listen to The Song and the voices of the hive easier here without distractions. For the most part anyway. Despite all his mental training, killik joining, and tranquil composure he was able to maintain, he still enjoyed secretly watching his wife during her afternoon exercises. He could ask any time and she would more than gladly show him all he wanted, and then some, but there was some mischievous fun to be had, nobody being able to tell where his solid black eyes were looking as he seemingly sat in deep meditation, unaffected by all else around him. Despite sharing his life, his bed, his love, and his entirety with the galaxy's most adept agent, he was able to have this little secret right under her nose. She did not notice as he couldn't help but grin ever so slightly. The fingerlings surrounding him chattered in a mirror or his secret glee.
Her body in motion always captivated him. A combination of martial arts, stretches, and even dance were incorporated into her routine. The flash of the vibroknives as she weaved them into imaginary targets, the sound of her breathing intensifying, a low growl sometimes escaping her lips as she lunged at another invisible opponent. The curves of her body as she flexed and stretched. Fresh sweat mingled in the air she stirred about, and he couldn't help but selfishly breathe it in deeply. Stray locks of hair at the sides of her face swung with her movements like a dancer's skirt. Everything played out in a song that enraptured him, right down to the deathly fierce display of wrath her aura flickered and swirled in.
He blinked. Something was off with her aura. He rubbed his eyes and focused hard on his wife, now with only concern in his mind. Before he could even voice the question in his head, his host of fingerlings chimed in his head " we see it too!" their chattering and clicking of excitement caught Crezelle's attention. She looked over to find the joiner, gazing intently in her direction, the look of concern soon became one of realisation.
" Did i interrupt your little meeting? Your friends seem rather restless" The chiss raised an eyebrow curiously. " And why in the galaxy are you looking at me like that, i haven't let my training slip THAT much this trip" she flexed and poised her body to emphasise the point.
Vector smiled. " No, it's not that..."
" Then what ...? Your'e still hard to read as ever some days. What's going on in that little buggy head of yours?" She teased, walking up to him, and tapping him on the nose playfully." The star signs have frozen again? Electrons singing at you? An old joiner ex-girlfriend just told you in the hivemind that she hooked up with a colocoid? Come on, what's the little secret? And why won't your friends stop buzzing around me like i've been dipped in honey? Wait, that's an idea for tonight... " She grinned with an absent look in her eyes, imagining the potential. " I mean, without your friends."
" The nest always is overjoyed when it hears the notes of a brand new song" He tried his best to think of how to break things to her. " We noticed something about your aura... IN your aura. Like a tiny star amidst the swirling clouds of a nebula, it's there. A beautiful, new, spark of life.. " He looked away, almost seeming sheepish at the prospect of what he was saying.
" We weren't sure at first, but it is there. A second aura. It's beautiful. We wish you could see it."
She paused, and staggered backwards. " Wait...you mean...?"
Still smiling, he walked up to her, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and nodded in silence.
A million questions came into mind for her. She had wanted children, and had even discussed the probabilities with Lokin on the matter. From what little knowledge they both had on chiss-human mingling, they theorised it would take years of trying before any results were made. This was much sooner than that. She was unprepared.
How will she continue her work in such a dangerous career?
What will the crew say?
How will she properly raise a family in this lifestyle?
Will it be healthy, being a hybrid?
As if he knew, he squeezed her reassuringly. " You are not alone in this, agent. New life can sprout in turmoil. Many mothers of many species have reared their offspring in the face of uncertainty, and against the odds for as long as The Song has played, and many will continue to long after us." She smiled as he kissed her forehead.
" And unlike many of them, you won't be alone. "
author's note
...okay. i think i wrote my fill of fluffs.
i always pictured him being overly engrossed with the magic of creating a new life in the galaxy, watching her expanding belly and the aura dance within it like it was the most awesome thing he had ever seen, babbling on and on about the first notes of a new song, circle of life, yadda yadda yadda
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edited >.>
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edited >.>
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doh, i didnt think you'd post it THIS week, now i gotta put stuff together D:
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This...this little gem...how did it take me so long to find this!!
(P.S., I do not recommend drinking coffee while reading this thread, especially while wearing a white skirt.)
(P.P.S., The pictures you guys have added to this are so dang cute!)
(P.P.P.S., Yet again, Aric is my favorite. Loves his little kitten self! Him and Rusk talking is hysterical.)
On the suggestion list:
- finger painting day (I have images in my head of Skadge covered in paint from head to toe, Bowdaar turning into a reluctant canvas, and Corso developing detailed schematics of weaponry.)
- field trip to a museum (whether they'd be able to remove Talos is questionable, but I'm sure some of the displays would end up coming back with them)
- club house (it has to have turrets, has to)
- imaginary friends
<settles in with popcorn and some drink that won't stain clothing>
(tell Mr. Bright_Ephemera thank you for this marvelous concept, hehehe)
snow day
fire drill
field trip
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THIS. I really love that in a game. The only time I've seen it really is in the Harvest Moon games, and even then, they don't say they love the character.
" omg his heart changed colour! * runs in to see new dialogue*"
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ive had companions comment all the way to illum. this is why on new toons i almost never use a speeder my first time on a planet
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and this, is why i wonder what kicks do the devs get letting us argue about what they said, how they said it, why they said it, in what cintext they said it, ect ect, and don't just make things crystal clear -.-
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Even though I love Corso to bits, Andronikos would really suit me the best. We both love piloting and math, and hate the corporate world. Plus, I'd probably be too wild for Corso.
Seriously though when Andronikos was like "I used to be an accountant," I was like "tell me more about your math skills...sigh...". I'm just that much of a nerd.
lmao my bf and i are opposites attract poster children. i'm the art thinker, hes the math thinker. he tries to discuss math and code and whatnot to me, and i go " hurrr?"
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I'm pretty sure Vector and Aric are the only male LIs I would actually voluntarily come within ten feet of. (Expand to 'male companions,' that list might pick up Talos.) I do heart me some Vector on this thread and elsewhere, and Aric is...yeah, solid is the term. Alongside decent and awesome.
funny thing is, corso bores me ingame, but he would be best suited for me irl.
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Hmm, a nightmare counterpart to my Warrior Ruth’s long-cherished dream seemed fitting. Since she never gets simplistically nice things. 1000 words, Warrior Act 3 spoilers.
Ruth stood with her back to a river of blood. The stench was tempting, but she mustn’t swim. She stood and awaited the hunters: faceless, innumerable. Stepping into the blood would be shame, would be failure. Fleeing would do her no good. She had to stand her ground, and she would. She would.
The ground shook and dissolved into the river. She fell and was drenched. Blood was hers, and always would be. She screamed. Only a fool would have been dumb enough to rely on the ground.
A different, gentle shake brought her out of it, to a safe place where Quinn’s arms were wrapped firmly around her. His gaze steadied her. He seemed to drink in the sight of her, as he had a habit of doing. The last few weeks had been difficult, to say the least, but it was worth it for the look he had just then.
“Good morning,” she rasped.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Thanks for waking me up.”
“Of course. You seemed distressed, and that is unacceptable.”
“So you went and straightened things out for me.”
“Always.” He brushed a lock of her hair to one side. “I l-“
“Don’t.” She hurriedly covered his mouth with her hand.
He frowned and waited for her to lower her hand. “Why do you keep doing that?” he asked. “When will you permit me to say it?”
She hesitated before deciding to answer. “You don’t want to ask that question, Malavai. Just don’t say it at all.”
He frowned. “I do want to ask. You’ve kept this bizarre behavior up long enough. Why can’t I tell you I l-“
“Silence!” He actually raised his voice to try to talk over her, but a short hard Force choke arrested him before he could finish ‘love.’
He recoiled, sat up, stared warily at her.
“Get dressed,” she said.
He held still, watching.
“Get dressed. That’s an order, Quinn.” She started toward her closet. “We’ll want to be armored for this one.”
She put on her own clothes, then her black body armor, and felt slightly better. Slightly.
Quinn finished pulling on his uniform and sat back down on the edge of the bed. “And now, my lord?”
“Do you remember the last time you told me you loved me?”
He blanched.
“We were in our quarters,” she said. “The ship was headed away from Voss.”
“I know,” he said, white-lipped.
“You were uncommonly attentive that night. I commented on it and you –“ the memory brought an unbidden genuine smile – “of all things, you reported that you had no explanation for it. It was so you. And I said you didn’t owe me one.”
“I know.”
Smile, gone. “And then you told me you loved me.”
“I know.”
“Twelve hours after that you opened fire.”
He looked away. “I know.”
“I don’t want your declarations, Quinn.”
“Then why am I here now? You’ve welcomed me back. Why?”
She had thought that through plenty of times. “Because I can’t stomach that line, but I like the rest of it. You gave me everything, once. Word, deed, the whole package. All of it turned out to be a lie. But even knowing it for what it is, I want that lie back more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my whole life.” She gestured hopelessly. “So here we are.”
“And that’s what this is to you? A lie?”
“Yes,” said Ruth, and wished she weren’t so numb to the idea. “It’ll snap again when circumstance or ambition demands. I don’t blame you. This is the closest thing to love you know. It’s actually admirably Imperial. And it’s enough for me. Just don’t mislabel it.”
“I thought you were happy.”
“I am. I told you, it’s enough.”
“Believing that none of what I have to offer is real? That’s nowhere close to acceptable.”
“Why not, dearest? We eat together, sleep together, talk, laugh, feel happier with each other than without. What else matters?”
“I want to be able to tell you I-" He brought himself up short. "How I feel about you."
"Tell me you enjoy me,” she said flatly. “I think that covers it."
"If I try to say the other thing, will you attack me again?"
"Yes. I'm sorry. I told you not to ask why."
“But everything else can proceed as normal? That’s a twisted game you’re asking me to play.”
What little patience she had left for his indignation snapped. “It’s more than you deserve after what you did to me.”
Ice slammed down over the hurt on his face. "I see. Dealing punishment for a living must be quite strenuous, Wrath. It must be a relief to come home and hit the easy targets. You know I would do anything to prove myself to you.”
“I know you can’t do anything that would prove yourself to me.”
“Yet you continue to strike at me for failing this test I can never pass. You pretend to be disgusted, but you’ll endure my presence anyway if it means you’ll have someone around to hurt at will.” He raised a hand to his throat, stood. “You make me sick sometimes."
"So go.” It was wrong, all of it, wrong again, but at least she had made sure he was dressed to go. That was a precaution she was learning to take before conversations. “If you don't want me, get out. Leave me alone so I can finally go find someone capable of loving me back."
That white face flushed. Quinn strode out and slammed the door behind him.
He stopped outside and took a long moment to compose himself. He turned back and pressed one hand against the door. "I love you," he said quietly. His face spasmed. He hurried away.
Ruth didn’t hear him. She slammed down onto the bed, pressed her face to the pillows, and - not for the first time, not for the last - screamed, as loud and as long as she could.
Poor Ruth, and having her mushy mushy expectations formed by a former Jedi who had all kinds of silly sappy ideas about selfless love! The alliance-plus-sex that the Sith and Imperials in general favor is not really what she’s after.
Being uncomfortable about writing abusive relationships makes the fact that I’m frequently driven to write a Sith storyline…awkward, to say the least. Don’t Force choke your significant others, people. It’s not okay. Come to think of it, try not to sell them out to their nemeses or get trapped with them in a gut-wrenching rapid love/hate spiral that can’t go so much as a week without demanding contact again. And, if you must fight, don’t start fighting before you’ve put your pants on in the morning.
<3 <3 <3
even sith need love too~
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........ getting vector withdrawls :3
i only saw one of him in your *ahem* other gallery that wasnt in here
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when is not-quite-a-baby-but-still-young lokin coming? :3
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My question Crez, is why isn't Aric wearing a shirt? Hmm?!
because i suck at drawing clothing
Same gender relationships clarifications?
in Story and Lore
Posted
hehe sorry, i had to, it's such a catchy phrase >.>
and yes, all my money if they force me to unlock more snugglyluffs with my space husband harem >.>
please BW manslave gear, please bw manslave gear. vector wants to be pretty