Weird experience with another player

[Eillack]

Well, I've never run into that. I'll keep it in mind, but I would have stopped after 2 tells anyway. I didn't get a chance to send a 3rd if I'd wanted to, really. Either way, I appreciate the input from everyone on this thread. Sure, not as interesting as I first thought, but I learned some stuff.

 

If this is your "true" first MMO, I would just suggest to be cautious on how you word and execute everything, the things which might seem ok in your opinion could be a huge 'no' to certain members of the community; not trying to bring you down, but again, based on all of your posts here, the situation did occur because of the way you tried to get a person to group when they wanted to be alone.

 

You need to remember most importantly: A good chunk of the remaining playerbase here likes to go solo because most of the game was designed to be played by 1 person. The game wasn't made for groups unless someone wanted to do a Flashpoint or Operation (or some heroics); SWTOR really was a solo game that happened to have other players walking around - just like how The Elder Scrolls Online has been made for example.

 

A lot of people are just sick of groups at this point.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Eillack

[Pingonaut]

A lot of people are just sick of groups at this point.

 

Well, I'm one of them. I've been focused on story content since day one, but when it comes to dailies I don't see a point.

 

And when I say first true MMO, I mean I never played WoW or anything similar. That being said I'm no longer new to MMOs, I've been with them for over two years now. I'm not sure what you mean by how it occurred because of something I did. "Why" should not mean "no" in that situation.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Pingonaut

[FabulousDoctor]

I generally don't group up for anything non-heroic (and prefer to not group for heroics if it's at all possible) because I find most people on my server are... kind of terrible at the game. I've watched level 55s in 55FP purples die to normal mobs in The Black Hole because they do things like spam their normal attack or something.

[Machshoot]

Oh my, the replies in this thread are making me howl in laughter. You guys are the reason so many people laugh and ridicule Star Wars fans/nerds in general. You can't handle someone being friendly and asking to group up, you in fact have to put someone on ignore because they sent an invite. I'm not trying to troll or be rude, but that's honestly pathetic.

 

Someone in a massive multiplayer online role-playing game wants to talk and/or group with me??? I WILL NOT STAND FOR THAT, BEING SOCIAL IS BLASPHEMY.

[Rafaman]

OP, listen, you did nothing wrong. Nothing at all. This is an MMO. It is a game in which grouping and playing with others is a core function. Chatting and talking to others is as well. You asked a simple question and got ignored. It is a strange response IMO because they went straight ignore. Lol. I wish I could say that it is surprising but it is not. All types play these games as well. So, that is the lesson learned here. Not that you shouldn't ask, but that you shouldn't be surprised by the response.

 

I had the exact opposite happen to me just recently. I invited another player running dailies to join me. He or she did and we ran through everything including the heroics without issue. Afterwards, I thanked him or her, said my goodbyes and went to the fleet. A few minutes later, I get a whisper from the player, dressing me down because I wouldn't go do other stuff with them, and how I shouldn't have invited him or her if I wasn't going to go run other things with them. Lol! WTH? And they started following me around.... weird...

 

So, not too worry OP. Keep doing what you are doing. You don't need to change anything other than your expectations. Expect the unexpected.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Rafaman

[Danylia]

You'd ignore someone for sending you an invite? That's a bit unnecessary, don't you think? My problem isn't that they didn't want a group, it's that they asked why, and then ignored me. I couldn't exactly explain why, then.

Depends. If I get three invites, without a word and in rapid succession, from the same player, then yes, I will ignore that player ("three strikes and out"). Maybe the person from your example had recently a similar experience, and the invite from you was a breaking point for them. In any case, it may indeed seem as hasty/unnecessary/rude, but without knowing the other person's PoV, there are no conclusions to be made.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Danylia

[Sinapus]

So I was doing some dailies and came across someone doing the same ones. I asked if they wanted to join me and they responded by saying WHY? I explained to them that it would be quicker to do it together, and tried to finish my message only to find out they /ignored me. Has anyone else run into this? At the first sign of someone wanting to team up they /ignore that person?

 

Was just a weird experience and figured I'd share. Saying "no" is one thing, but /ignoring a person after saying "why" to avoid grouping up?

 

edit: I changed the title, because this wasn't supposed to be a thread about players not wanting to be social or group up, it was about the person's response.

 

Some people are just rude.

 

As some others have noted: You actually asked first instead of spamming the group invite.

[AlienEyeTX]

Oh my, the replies in this thread are making me howl in laughter. You guys are the reason so many people laugh and ridicule Star Wars fans/nerds in general. You can't handle someone being friendly and asking to group up, you in fact have to put someone on ignore because they sent an invite. I'm not trying to troll or be rude, but that's honestly pathetic.

 

Someone in a massive multiplayer online role-playing game wants to talk and/or group with me??? I WILL NOT STAND FOR THAT, BEING SOCIAL IS BLASPHEMY.

 

No, it's blind invites, or unwanted invites that land people on /ignore. Personally, I have no problem with someone asking to group. Just respect my decision if I say, "No, thanks." And getting random invites just feels like a violation. If you want the game to be a social experience, practice common social courtesies, like asking if someone wants to hang out rather than just randomly following them around.

[Halinalle]

I would have been happy to group with you, because you actually ask for a group. I have had to auto-decline group requests in this game because people constantly keeps inviting me without a reason. But yeah, there are many rude people in this game. I have had so many moments where I attack some mobs that are guarding a chest and some jerk comes and steals it. If i say something, they just shout back insults and such.

 

Pretty much same here. I usually get invite spam while I'm trying to fight. They just stand there and watch me fighting elite and spam invites at me.

 

I would most likely group up with someone who just arrived to daily area if I haven't started dailies on that area yet. Only time I would decline invites is if I find another player when I'm almost done with them.

[Rafaman]

No, it's blind invites, or unwanted invites that land people on /ignore. Personally, I have no problem with someone asking to group. Just respect my decision if I say, "No, thanks." And getting random invites just feels like a violation. If you want the game to be a social experience, practice common social courtesies, like asking if someone wants to hang out rather than just randomly following them around.

 

I agree. I don't like blind invites. They don't bother me to the extent that I ignore the player, unless they keep coming after I have refused, which btw has happened to me as well.

 

It is simple common courtsey, a simple whipser, like the OP did is enough.

 

But again, expect the unexpected. Lol. But don't walk on egg shells either.

[aryvandaar]

So I was doing some dailies and came across someone doing the same ones. I asked if they wanted to join me and they responded by saying WHY? I explained to them that it would be quicker to do it together, and tried to finish my message only to find out they /ignored me. Has anyone else run into this? At the first sign of someone wanting to team up they /ignore that person?

 

I've seen this a lot. People doing the same quest as me, in the same area, and when I invite them because of the respawning quest objectives I mostly get ignored, and in very rare cases people want to party instead of competing for the quest objectives.

 

Does anyone actually understand their reasoning, or do they understand it themselves?

 

Players in SWTOR are among some of the most anti-social players I've come across in any game.

[GalacticKegger]

As soon as I read the op I had visions of the other player's character being costumed like Daffy Duck yelling "MINE! MINE! MINE!" Just my personal observation, but there seems to have been an increase in ninja looting and players not wanting to "share" since (a) the game earned industry recognition as being financially successful, and (b) F2P was added. Was probably a sweatshop credit farmer who can't afford to spread the wealth.

[Umbura]

What I'm seeing here is that you sent a group request to someone who didn't want to group. That would land you on my /ignore list as well. Maybe wait until they say "yes" before sending that invite?

I do the same.

Ask before invite.

A direct invitation is like to open the door without knocking, or shaking hands without looking at you.

 

I though the "why" was not for the invite.

It could be a way to say "why are you so direct ?" or, as he was 50, "why do you think I need help ?" or "why do you need the help fo a lvl-5 ?"

Or just a way to make fun of you. Hahaha !

Edited January 23, 2014 by Umbura

[uniz]

I agree that placing you on ignore was rather "weird'. but all wow cloned mmos are now actually solo online games where social interaction is dumbed down to nothing. unless of course you count general chat potty mouthing social interaction.

in these mmos one doesn't need to make friends for group content but rather queue up in a group finder. such mmos have created a genre which really don't have any social manners as they have had no opportunities to ever develop them. too many just go on their way by themselves and have a "how dare you ever ask me to group up" attitude. why do you think so many players now think a group finder is an essential mmo tool these days?

 

one player asked for a option to auto group up with a option to turn it off. RIFT has this as it was primarily designed for the rift events that are always going on. however after once fighting a named to 10% and having a toon run up, join me only to now roll and win the drop, the option was promptly turned off. it has remained that way ever since.

 

I don't see this situation changing any time soon.

[aryvandaar]

Speaking of ninja looting. Earlier there was someone who needed a blue item when it wasn't for their class, and the player didn't even ask first. What was even more annoying is that I had killed every mob there while the other player did nothing.

 

I do the same.

Ask before invite.

A direct invitation is like to open the door without knocking, or shaking hands without looking at you.

 

What a silly comparison. Your home is your private place for peace and quiet, but playing a mmo is like walking out in public. Let me get this right, you think that people should ask before inviting in a multi-player game? Look, swtor may be a single-player like mmo, but if people compete with the same quest objectives as me in an area I'm going to send an invite without asking.

Edited January 23, 2014 by aryvandaar

[ikinai]

Being anti-socialistic is actually a good thing*

 

 

 

 

*that was a joke, keep your pants on.

 

Too late, I took my pants off already, and decided to wear a skirt instead.

 

As to the OP. I would have joined you as well, I like when asked, but like others, a blind request is generally looked down on by me. But, if there aren't many others around I typically will even accept those knowing that they are there for the same reason as me.

[Starglitter]

Mmm...

 

Many of the dailies are simply victims of bad game design. Dailies need to be instanced to avoid cross group or person competition for extremely few assets that the mission requires, it is in my opinion a very rude thing of the developers to demand a number of players coming to an area at different times with each having a mission demanding a number of mobs must be defeated, and so happens the number requried mobs is about 80% of the total mob population for instance.

 

Another issue is that you have high levels doing the dailies for the crdits and bonuses, and lower levels that are doing these dailies as part of their leveling process; grouping in this instance is incompatible.

 

In Lord of the Rings on line, they addressed this problem by implementing two really big changes:

 

1. Everybody who gets a hit on a mob, gets credit for its death; also all those players who did get a hit in, get full loot as if they were the only ones who hit it; thus precluding loot splitting issues, and actually encouraged non-grouped team work and goodwill among players as opposed to rude, ninja like behaviors.

 

2. Clickable objectives are persistent, so it does not matter if another player clicked on the objctive you were fighting to get to, it will be there for you regardless. Of course once you click it, its gone for you but available for another player.

 

These two changes made a lot of very positive improvements to the game in respect to enjoyment and person interaction. What did happen was people helped each other kill mobs and achieve clickable mission objects; do not this feature was not extended to resource nods, but it would be nice if done to.

 

Like always, there will be the disgrunted ones, that actually did not want any help, and believes the entire map is theirs alone to enjoy, to which this suggestion does not help in any matter.

 

Another way to address this, is that the moment you click on the mission box to do dailies, you are sent to your own personal whole area instance, if you are grouped, then the group enters the same instance. That has lots of nuice benefits for resources are not pre-picked by a player who merely arrived before you and got the goodies despite you had to kill as many mobs to get the area but got no resurce for the very same effor.

 

Sue

[AlexDougherty]

Not wanting to group with someone is not the same as being anti-social. Not even close.

 

The antisocial bit was the /ignore, not the not grouping.

[AlienEyeTX]

Speaking of ninja looting. Earlier there was someone who needed a blue item when it wasn't for their class, and the player didn't even ask first. What was even more annoying is that I had killed every mob there while the other player did nothing.

 

 

 

What a silly comparison. Your home is your private place for peace and quiet, but playing a mmo is like walking out in public. Let me get this right, you think that people should ask before inviting in a multi-player game? Look, swtor may be a single-player like mmo, but if people compete with the same quest objectives as me in an area I'm going to send an invite without asking.

 

Rude. Do you just walk up to a random person eating at a restaurant and sit at their table without asking? That's pretty much equivalent to a blind invite in-game.

[Andryah]

Except I wasn't trying to force anything. I said two sentences and sent a group request before he /ignored me.

 

Your intentions were good, but sending an invite without permission first is a deal breaker for many players. Not because they don't want to group per se....but because there are simply too many players think they own your invite channel.

 

Some people actually like the solo time of doing something on their own. Some people have had bad experiences with random chat-2-group. Maybe they deal with people all day long and game play is one of their get away from it all activities. Or maybe any one of a number of very valid reasons why you did not get a warm response. The thing is.. you just don't know...because you know nothing about them.

 

Normally, I have auto-decline set on my characters just to avoid strangers inviting without permission. I unset it after a conversation with a stranger that leads me to want to actually spend game time with them on a common effort, or when playing with guild mates. And honestly... a random conversation with a stranger in this game does not result in me lowering the auto-decline very often in this game.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Andryah

[Andryah]

The antisocial bit was the /ignore, not the not grouping.

 

I disagree. In this situation, I see the /ignore as a direct result of not respecting their boundaries and tossing them an invite without permission.

[GalacticKegger]

I agree that placing you on ignore was rather "weird'. but all wow cloned mmos are now actually solo online games where social interaction is dumbed down to nothing. unless of course you count general chat potty mouthing social interaction.

in these mmos one doesn't need to make friends for group content but rather queue up in a group finder. such mmos have created a genre which really don't have any social manners as they have had no opportunities to ever develop them. too many just go on their way by themselves and have a "how dare you ever ask me to group up" attitude. why do you think so many players now think a group finder is an essential mmo tool these days?

 

one player asked for a option to auto group up with a option to turn it off. RIFT has this as it was primarily designed for the rift events that are always going on. however after once fighting a named to 10% and having a toon run up, join me only to now roll and win the drop, the option was promptly turned off. it has remained that way ever since.

 

I don't see this situation changing any time soon.

Actually they're all cloned from EQ (WoW was not original - just lucky); and they aren't solo games, they merely have a proliferation of solo elements in them. Having both solo and group content (and a groupfinder tool that helps people hook up randomly) is a good thing.

 

The problem is ... the same increasingly prolific MMS/Twitter mindset that has people in their own little worlds texting and driving without concern for themselves, their passengers or other drivers is the same mindset people are bringing into MMOs now. The moment group texting from a handheld phone became "ooooo ... shiny!" is the moment MMO game developers scrambled to make access to random group tools a one-click operation.

 

I'm convinced that some play MMOs simply because they want to exist in an alternate reality that gives them the comfort of not being alone, while also giving them the self confidence of knowing they can simply switch other people off. Kind of a "talk to the hand" round that is always chambered. I'm sure these folks also wish that real life had /ignore.

 

Somewhere along the line pretending to be someone else in a world without personal consequence went from being a diversion to a self-fulfilling need. These same probably hope against all hope that their destiny is that of Jake Sully's ... when they finally log off, they permanently become their avatar. Giving others a glimpse of that makes them nervous, so they get defensive when others come knocking without even thinking about it (from an internal KU behavioral sciences study.)

 

It's not the game's fault that introversion exists. All game developers can ever do is provide play style options because manipulating 1s and 0s into virtual environments is all they control. People just gotta get their acts together; and like you, I don't see this situation changing any time soon.

Edited January 23, 2014 by GalacticKegger

[aryvandaar]

Rude. Do you just walk up to a random person eating at a restaurant and sit at their table without asking? That's pretty much equivalent to a blind invite in-game.

 

Oh look here, another silly comparison. It is not their area, and there are other people playing, and when people are competing for the same objectives I think that people should be a bit flexible. I don't understand what is so bad about partying with people who are doing the same freaking quest. If you don't want to write anything in the group chat, that is fine with me, but It's annoying when you're in an area and take forever to do quests because people could've just partied and stopped competing for the same quest objectives and saved time for everyone.

 

I don't really see what is so intrusive with a party invite either. Could you explain that for me? It's just one click on decline, and that is a lot of work, I know.

Edited January 23, 2014 by aryvandaar

[AlienEyeTX]

Oh look here, another silly comparison. It is not their area, and there are other people playing, and when people are competing for the same objectives I think that people should be a bit flexible. I don't understand what is so bad about partying with people who are doing the same freaking quest. If you don't want to write anything in the group chat, that is fine with me, but It's annoying when you're in an area and take forever to do quests because people could've just partied and stopped competing for the same quest objectives and saved time for everyone.

 

I don't really see what is so intrusive with a party invite either. Could you explain that for me? It's just one click on decline, and that is a lot of work, I know.

 

It's intrusive and is a breach of etiquette.

[aryvandaar]

It's intrusive and is a breach of etiquette.

 

Not my etiquette.