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Books written by Star Wars characters that you wouldn't buy


Aurbere

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"Living with Decapitation of your Father," by Boba Fett, subtitled "And What not to do in Jabba's Employ."

 

"I'd Rather Kiss a Wookie," Leia's unauthorized biography.

 

"Father/Son Day at Work: What Went Wrong," by Darth Vader.

 

"Speeder Training on Endor, A Stormtrooper's Guide to Avoiding Trees," by anonymous Stormtrooper.

 

"How to Inspire the Youth of the Republic Rebellion," by Gold Leader (published posthumously).

 

"Womprats are like Exhaust Ports: How Luke Inspired Me," by Wedge Antilles.

 

"Slaves and Bikinis: An Overlord's Guide," by Jabba the Hutt (published posthumously).

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How to Seduce a Supple Young Jedi Boy Part 1 by Palpatine

Pro-tips on Fighting Jedi Masters by Jango Fett

Negotiating by Luke Skywalker

Heart, Lungs & Brain: A Comprehensive Guide on Keeping your Organs Safe by General Greivous

Edited by Distracted
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Surviving Trench Runs by Biggs Darklighter (published posthumously and finished by Wedge Antilles)

 

I Knew I Shouldn't Have Eaten That Double Bantha Burger by Jek Porkins (published posthumously)

 

HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE (Life With Jabba Is Always Funny) by Salacious B. Crumb

Edited by Captain_Zone
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Surviving Trench Runs by Biggs Darklighter (published posthumously and finished by Wedge Antilles)

 

I Knew I Shouldn't Have Eaten That Double Bantha Burger by Jek Porkins (published posthumously)

 

HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE (Life With Jabba Is Always Funny) by Salacious B. Crumb

 

Salacious B. Crumb got pwned by R2. I think R2 ranked pretty high up on the troll ladder. He trolls 3PO all the time.

Edited by Aurbere
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"Thank the Maker: From Jedi, to Smugglers, to Exiled Princes, the Many Adventures of C-3P0" ~ By C-3P0

 

"Proper Hyperdrive Maintenance" ~ By Han Solo

 

"That IS a Moon!" ~ By Chewbacca (Published Posthumously)

 

"Democratic Rulership and You" ~ By Admiral Natassi Daala

 

"How I Forgot How to Fight After Suffering Amnesia Following the 'Vong War" ~ Jaina Solo

 

"Family Values" ~ By Jacen Solo

 

"I Don't Sense Anything" ~ By Qui Gon Jin

 

Annnnnd...

 

"The Rebel Conspiracy: How The Rebels Destroyed Alderaan and Blamed it on Us" ~ By Grand Moff Tarkin

 

Some of the reader comments are:

 

"It would take a million ships with more firepower than I can fathom." ~ Han Solo

"Alderaan is peaceful, we have no weapons." ~ Leia Organa Solo

"Like shooting wamprats in my T-16 back home." ~ Luke Skywalker

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Salacious B. Crumb got pwned by R2. I think R2 ranked pretty high up on the troll ladder. He trolls 3PO all the time.

 

R2 trolled EVERYBODY at one point or another. :D

 

Considering he was the only one who knew everything about what was going on and why it was going on, I'd say that puts him pretty far up on the Epic Lulz troll ladder. :p

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R2 trolled EVERYBODY at one point or another. :D

 

Considering he was the only one who knew everything about what was going on and why it was going on, I'd say that puts him pretty far up on the Epic Lulz troll ladder. :p

 

the number one spot for trolling is a tie between R2 and Obi-Wan. R2 has trolled Obi-Wan before so I think he's a better troll.

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Trap Spotting for Dummies - by Admiral Ackbar

Trendy Hairstyles for Women - by Princess Leia

Essential Guide to Jetpack Maintenance - by Boba Fett

Yousa Okeeday, Mesa Okeeday - by Jar Jar Binks

Straight Talk - by Yoda

Successful Bounty Hunting - by Greedo

Raising a Levelheaded Padawan - by Obi Wan Kenobi

How to Earn a Rapid Workplace Promotion - by Darth Vader

Edited by TheronFett
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Controlling your tongue - Darth Malak

Side switching for dummies - Darth Revan

Nuts & Bolts; a droid romance - Anonymous Jawa

Horn polishing done right - Darth Maul

How to digest your food - Unknown Sarlacc

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