Thursday Morning Wrath

[Aeuex]

I think his name was Tyresius. I would have gone for round 2 because he wasn't bad, but when I woke up he was gone, he left some note about some bounty hunter chasing him and how it would have never worked out anyways, but I was like whatever, got to keep my Priest.

 

There's only one guy on the ship that I would've gone straight for, and he's still all *****-whipped over some smuggler who broke his heart. Does it really only take gambling to get him into bed?

 

We're going to have to have a talk soon. Maybe my straight appeal is wearing off.

Edited April 1, 2012 by Aeuex

[Doozzer]

there's only one guy on the ship that i would've gone straight for, and he's still all *****-whipped over some smuggler who broke his heart. Does it really only take gambling to get him into bed?

 

We're going to have to have a talk soon. Maybe my straight appeal is wearing off.

 

what!?

[Rohanshot]

I think his name was Tyresius. I would have gone for round 2 because he wasn't bad, but when I woke up he was gone, he left some note about some bounty hunter chasing him and how it would have never worked out anyways, but I was like whatever, got to keep my Priest.

 

Uh...I think you might want to check up on your sister with this. You know, just saying...

 

Anyway, did Quinn ever hit any roadblocks when you flirted with him? Like it literally took 20 covos for him to get the message.

 

You know, like this-http://www.theminionslayers.com/comics/2012-03-23-clueless_quinn.png

 

 

 

*All credit goes to Pontius_Morgan and his SWTOR Single Panel Webcomic thread in the fanart forum (http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?t=168785&page=19)*

Edited April 2, 2012 by Rohanshot

[Doozzer]

Uh...I think you might want to check up on your sister with this. You know, just saying...

 

Anyway, did Quinn ever hit any roadblocks when you flirted with him? Like it literally took 20 covos for him to get the message.

 

You know, like this-http://www.theminionslayers.com/comics/2012-03-23-clueless_quinn.png

 

 

 

*All credit goes to Pontius_Morgan and his SWTOR Single Panel Webcomic thread in the fanart forum (http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?t=168785&page=19)*

 

Story of my life. And how did that comic artist know I walk around the ship naked in the morning?

[Doozzer]

I HAVE A DREAM OF BECOMING A GREAT ROMANCE WRITER

And if anyone in the clan laughs at it, I'll *********** kill them all with my own bare claws.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It didn't take long for Pierce to find his way to the cockpit once the girls were gone. The embarkation ramp dropped, the chatting of the girls faded into the distance, and the ship hummed and clicked with the ambient noise of the hyperdrive cooling down. The Wrath was leaving with her friends again, and there was no one on the ship except for Pierce... And his paramour, Malavai Quinn.

"Oh this is gonna get hot." Jaesa said.

"Oh my god, do you think they really do that when we have girls night out?" The Wrath asked

"I hope they really do that when we have girls night out." Vette nodded.

 

Quinn, stoic and dependable, where he always was, bent over the navigation map plotting the Wrath's next move. He didn't hear Pierce come in, but he never did. Quinn was a slave to his work at times, and when his attention was focused like a laser, everything else disappeared.

 

"No surprise there. Its a shame how long it takes him sometimes to focus that laser on my ******." The Wrath added.

"Shut up, I'm still reading." Vette snapped.

"They teach slave girls to read now?" The Wrath sneered.

"No, they don't, you insensitive jerk. That's why I'm so slow at it." Vette sneered.

"Wait. You're being serious." The Wrath replied.

"Yea. Keep them dumb. That's the rules." Vette explained.

"Oh wow Vette I'm so sorry-" The Wrath apologized.

"Shut up and read the story!" Jaesa interjected.

 

Pierce snuck up behind Quinn and put his hands firmly on his shoulders.

"Your situational awareness is lacking, captain. Had we been in combat, you'd be at my mercy." Pierce grinned, squeezing the captain's slender shoulders gently.

"And what if I didn't mind being at your mercy?" Quinn retorted.

Pierce spun him around on his heels and took him into his arms. There was the intimate sound of stubble g****** stubble as the two men grasped each other, a sound like sand paper sc****** that only the two of them could hear. Their lips touched, and Malavai sighed into his chest.

"How long will the girls be gone?" Pierce whispered.

"Long enough. Longer still if they start drinking." Quinn grinned.

"They always do." Pierce smiled.

"What the hell! Those two better not be making out in my cockpit when I'm not around!" The Wrath gasped.

"Its just a fan fiction, hun. They don't actually do that and you know it." Jaesa rolled her eyes.

"Well if they did, I'd want to see it!" The Wrath said.

 

"See what?" Pierce's gruff voice echoed into the medbay where the girls were huddled around Jaesa's monitor reading slash fiction.

 

"SWEENEY TODD!" Vette shouted.

"WICKED!" Jaesa followed.

"PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!" The Wrath shouted.

 

Pierce mumbled something about 'chick stuff' and immediately lost interest.

 

"Works everytime." The Wrath gave Jaesa a high five.

"God only knows what we would do if boyfriends were actually interested in musicals." Vette nodded.

"I don't think I could date a man who actually liked theater. How the hell would you get rid of him if you were trying to be sneaky if he liked Rodgers and Hammerstein?" The Wrath shrugged.

"Well then." Pierce said, "What are you orders, captain?"

Malavai had a devlish glint in his eye. "The lieutenant will stand at attention."

"I think he already is." Pierce sighed as Quinn's hands moved down his chest to his abs.

"Well then I hope he's ready for parade inspection." Quinn whispered as he moved to his knees.

Quinn was a slave to his work at times, and when his attention was focused like a laser, everything else disappeared.

"HOT!" Vette squealed.

"Who writes this stuff anyways? Its Amazing." The Wrath asked.

"EroticProboscis37 is the author's handle on the slash fiction forums." Jaesa contributed.

"What a weird name." Vette shrugged.

 

Elsewhere in the ship, Broonmark swirled a glass of fine red wine in a tumbler, reclining in his favorite overstuffed chair. He observed the color and the bouquet before placing his tube-like appendage into the drink to sip. Smooth jazz played gently in the background, and he considered lighting a few candles, but decided against it. No, he thought, I only light the candles when I'm writing.

 

He checked the forums to see the page view count on his latest work. His biggest fan, JayJayJediGrrl had posted her praise and affection again. Broonmark smiled- In so much as an alien with a proboscis could smile. He had an idea of who JayJay was, but he kept it to himself. He wasn't in the mood to share his dreams with anyone. The last time he had, they had laughed and ostracized him, and made him in an outcast.

 

But Broonmark had his dream, and he had his revenge against his clan that scorned it. There was nothing to stop him now from becoming the galaxy's greatest romance writer, and nobody knew it was him.

[MaximusSuperior]

That was the best segway to Broonmark ever.

[greypilgrim]

Doozzer, you made me squee. Srsly.

[Yescek]

I smell a plot twist...................

[Kalterien]

This stuff is awesome =D Every time I start giggling my husband looks at me funny...

[Anysao]

Ive been reading it, and I enjoy it. Been reading it from the beginning. My thoughts:

Dang it wrath, turn on the subtitles. I don't trust that proboscis.

Jaesa has to many mood swings, sometimes she's shy, and a little boring, and sometimes, she's a crazy Jedi/sith woman, who breaks hips.

Please bring back the pink text WITHOUT just arguing with narrator.

And this last thing is a little weird.. But I preferred the begining, where it was like a sithy reality show, now it's a little too sexual. No offense, keep up the good work, but you know what they say about sex jokes: "it's the poor man's comody."

 

And dang it, the only thing cryptic about the servants is there sexuality.

[dnoisette]

Jaesa has to many mood swings

 

That's part of what I like the most about her part in the story since it reminds me of her actual behavior IG when you either turn her darkside (with my Jugg) or lightside (with my Mara).

[Doozzer]

Don't you *****es go talking **** about Jaesa like that!

 

She doesn't have mood swings. She's a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.

 

 

Wrath calm down, he's just offering constructive criticism.

 

He can construct himself a stick and turn it sideways and sit on it if he's gonna come at my girls like that. I'd half expect that kind of behavior from a hoodrat like Vette, but Jaesa's a classy lady.

 

Oh, so I'm a hoodrat now?

 

When were you not a hoodrat?

 

touche.

[Rohanshot]

Sure whatever Wrath, like you can do anything to us over the computer

[Anysao]

Sorry, didn't mean any offense. I freak out my friends when I laugh out loud on my iPhone reading this, so I had to post something.

 

Oh, and tell Jaesa- if it doesn't work out with Chris, Anysao is a good shoulder to cry on.

And a good hip to do..other things..on.

[Doozzer]

Sorry, didn't mean any offense. I freak out my friends when I laugh out loud on my iPhone reading this, so I had to post something.

 

Oh, and tell Jaesa- if it doesn't work out with Chris, Anysao is a good shoulder to cry on.

And a good hip to do..other things..on.

 

nah. nobody wants to date a girl with MOOD SWINGS.

[dnoisette]

nah. nobody wants to date a girl with MOOD SWINGS.

 

 

Sounds like the Wrath bears someone a grudge.

[zalarian]

I wish my Juggernaut didn't have to settle with DS Jaesa, he'd trade her for Wrath any day of the week. He'd even go light side too.

[Doozzer]

SUNDAY AFTERNOON LEFT TURN

Gentlemen, start your engines!

 

Servant One: The Wrath and company are watching the pod race on the Speed channel.

Servant Two: I can't believe she's actually into pod racing.

Servant One: Well she does like muscle cars. She always wines about wanting a Dessler Turbo.

Servant Two: That's a totally different thing. Pod racing is just watching a bunch of greasy aliens turning left in the middle of nowhere on Tatooine.

Servant One: Its more complicated than that.

Servant Two: Prove it.

Servant One: Well, funny you should mention that...

 

 

"I can't believe you can actually watch that crap." Vette said. "Its just turning left."

 

"Can you handle that?" Pierce asked, a pleading look on his face.

 

"You shut her up, she's your girlfriend." The Wrath grabbed a fistfull of popcorn and shoved it into her mouth.

 

"He can't." Vette crossed her skinny arms over her skinny chest.

 

"I can't." Pierce repeated her. "She'll cut me off tonight."

 

"I remember when you used to be attractive, Pierce." The Wrath rolled her eyes. "It was sometime back before you were totally p-whipped."

 

Pierce only shrugged. He enjoyed the habit of regular sex.

 

"Change the channel. Why are we watching turning left instead of huttball?" Vette whined.

 

"2 reasons." The Wrath sighed. "1- because the Frogdogs drafted another sith inquisitor. There's 4 of them on the team now, and they're talking about finals this year. Professional huttball is dead to me. I'll watch college huttball instead, next year, when march madness comes back around."

 

"And 2?" Vette asked.

 

"It's more complicated than just turning left. Race drivers are the greatest athletes in the galaxy." The Wrath explained.

 

"Because they turn left or because they willingly get into vehicles that are prone to violent explosion?" Vette sneered.

 

"The second one. Race engines are designed to run at a peak performance- You can't even start them cold. A race engine has to be insulated in a jacket pumped full of hot water in order to be warm enough to even turn over. If you don't keep it firing, it will seize, and then die. But it won't just slow down and stop, no... It doesn't work like that. We're talking about going from 200 miles per hour to suddenly throwing a piston. Catastrophic failure. But that's not all, you see, every other part of the vehicle is also designed to operate at peak performance, which includes, Pierce..." The Wrath lectured.

 

"The brakes." Pierce added.

 

"That's right. Everything has to be a certain temperature, a certain perfect window of performance. If you don't go fast enough, your brakes don't work. You have to speed upin order to slow down. There in lies the challenge." The Wrath concluded.

 

"But that's a Catch 22." Vette observed. "Why would anyone willingly strap themselves into a machine that you had to make go fast in order to stop? Its like a death trap, or a Keanu Reeves action movie."

 

"That's why race drivers have bigger balls than any other athletes." Pierce replied.

 

"Its also why Darth Dayl Errnhard was the greatest Sith Lord to ever live." The Wrath made a respectful gesture.

 

"Isn't that the guy that crashed into a wall and died? What makes him so great?" Vette rolled her eyes.

 

"Because a few decades ago, when Darth Dayl was in his prime, it wasn't enough that a pod racer was a death trap. Back then, tactics like running your opponents into a wall or clipping their bumper to spin them out weren't just considered dirty tricks, they were an accepted part of racing strategy, and nobody raced dirtier than Darth Dayl. They called him the Intimidator." The Wrath shed a single tear.

 

"Are all Sith obsessed with an insane dead race driver or is it just you?" Vette asked.

 

"I dunno, are all twi'leks only good for sex and petty theft?" The Wrath sneered as she turned up the volume to drown Vette out.

 

"My lord, holocall on line one." Quinn's voice piped over the intercom.

 

"Tell 'em to **** off until either Toni Stu'Art wins or Jef Gordyn crashes, whichever comes first." The Wrath shouted.

 

"Wow." Vette said.

 

"Race fans are a polarized and hateful lot." Pierce explained. "You can divide them into two groups- Fans of specific drivers, and f

."

 

"Every year for Sithmas I ask for his still-beating heart. Every year. Number 1 on my list." The Wrath mumbled.

 

"My lord, the call is very urgent." Quinn insisted.

 

"Tell them to leave a voicemail and to callback when its a diplomatic emergency or something." The Wrath shouted. She knew perfectly well how to operate the intercom, she's just profoundly rude.

 

"My lord, it is a diplomatic emergency. Grand Master of the Jedi Order, Satele Shan on line one." Quinn protested.

 

"Dammit." The Wrath sighed. "Pierce, go put the race on in my bedroom and wait."

 

"My lord... I'm with Vette and she's not into sharing..." Pierce protested.

 

"Not for that, dick-for-brains, I need you to yell at me if Dayl Jr. put's Gordyn's candy *** into the wall on turn 3 and makes his daddy proud. If I miss that I'll never live it down."

 

"I'll get it done." Pierce saluted.

 

The Wrath routed the holocall to the main screen. "What do you want? Don't you know the Mos Eisley 500 is on?" The Wrath sneered.

 

"You actually watch that crap? Its just turning left." The grand poobah of all Jedi replied.

 

"Thank you!" Vette cheered.

 

"Shut up you're not helping." The Wrath commanded. "And its way more complicated than that. Why you calling me anyways?"

 

"Because I don't know what you're up too, but I know I don't like it." Shan grimaced.

 

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm watching NASPOD and drinking Padme Blue Ribbon beer. Am I not allowed to white-trash it up on the weekend?" The Wrath sneered.

 

"That's not what this is about and you know it." Shan fired back. "You promised me in the restaurant that you'd drop the politics on this one, and I agreed. Then I find out that Jedi Knight Chris is applying for worker's comp due to some hip injury, and now I'm down a rank 67 battlemaster until he starts walking straight again. You're up to some conniving scheme to seduce and injure my finest warriors to weaken the Republic."

 

"Actually, I've pretty much only been up to abusing my privilege as a Sith Lord to go shopping and sit around drinking boxed wine." The Wrath shrugged. "I guess incapacitating Chris was just a bonus. I had no idea that guy was a battlemaster."

 

"You two-faced ****." Shan spat.

 

"Whoa! Slow down, I'm being honest here- I didn't welch on our deal. Quinn, get in here." The Wrath commanded. "Quinn is my Captain and personal liason to the Imperial Navy."

 

"My lord." Quinn entered and bowed.

 

"Malavai, what have I done to help the imperial war effort in say, the past week." The Wrath asked.

 

"Honestly, my lord?" Quinn gulped.

 

"Well, you can try lying, but give her some credit, she's a Jedi master. She'll know." The Wrath rolled her eyes.

 

"Over the past week you've done absolutely nothing of value to help the war effort, unless you count purchasing a costume to take gross advantage of my crippling uniform fetish as part of the war effort." Quinn replied.

 

"AND I DO." The Wrath concluded. "Dismissed, captain."

 

"You're... Being completely serious." Shan looked confused.

 

"Oh absolutely. He's a totally different man when I put that imperial monkey-suit on." The Wrath grinned. "Oh but you meant the other thing."

 

"I did." Shan nodded. "The rest was a little too much information."

 

"Yea well, that's like a running gag around here." The Wrath shrugged.

 

"So what exactly prompted one of my finest Jedi knights to be sidelined by this pelvic injury then, if it wasn't some kind of Sith plot?" Shan asked.

 

"Well word on the street is that my apprentice Jaesa has a set of kegels that could crush coal into diamonds." The Wrath rolled her eyes.

 

"The Wilsaam girl? Surely you must be joking." Shan cocked her head to the side, disbelief written on her face.

 

"Its the quiet ones you've got to look out for." The Wrath replied. "So are we still on for our little agreement or what?"

 

"As a Jedi I have to seek the truth of this matter. If I find out you've manipulated me some how..." Shan threatened.

 

"...I'll be sitting here watching NASPOD." The Wrath finished and hung up on Shan.

 

"You were certainly more diplomatic with her the first time around. When you were drunk." Vette observed.

 

"The Mos Eisley 500 wasn't on the first time around, and I'm only 2 beers in. Give me a break." The Wrath sneered. She sneered often.

 

"Heaven forbid you miss ten minutes of turning left." Vette rolled her eyes. That happens a lot too. Like turning left.

 

"I can't believe it." The Wrath mumbled.

 

"Can't believe what?" Vette asked.

 

"How absolutely mind-blowing you must be in bed for your boyfriend to put up with you like this while the race is on." The Wrath answered. "Oh hey that reminds me- PIERCE! YOU CAN COME BACK AND WATCH IN THE COMMON AREA NOW, THE RACE IS BACK ON!"

 

"I KNOW!" He shouted back. "BUT MY GIRLFRIEND IS STILL OUT THERE!"

 

 

*all true. Formula 1 cars.

[Anysao]

Ha ha, that was a great one. I loved malavai's honesty. I loved it.

And IT'S A LOT MORE THEN TURNING LEFT!

[SpoeMeister]

Awesome work. really entertaining!

[dnoisette]

Wow, glad Satele got her part in the story. That was fun really!

[Anysao]

Sorry, but I have a suggestion for a new one- I just love this stuff.

 

What if satele went on a "diplomatic mission" to the wrath?

Girls night out anyone? I would love to just see the conflict and seeing the wrath getting satele hammered.

[dnoisette]

Sorry, but I have a suggestion for a new one- I just love this stuff.

 

What if satele went on a "diplomatic mission" to the wrath?

Girls night out anyone? I would love to just see the conflict and seeing the wrath getting satele hammered.

 

Best suggestion ever. Damn, I want it now!

Edited April 7, 2012 by dnoisette

[greypilgrim]

I dunno... I tend to see Satele getting maudlin when she's in her cups. All mopey about how haaard it is to lead the Council, and how she had to leave her master behind to DIE, and how nobody UNDERSTANDS, etc. etc.

 

And of course she's hoping nobody notices her wild crush on Vette. Though I think Pierce wouldn't mind too much if he figured it out...

[Yescek]

I dunno... I tend to see Satele getting maudlin when she's in her cups. All mopey about how haaard it is to lead the Council, and how she had to leave her master behind to DIE, and how nobody UNDERSTANDS, etc. etc.

 

And of course she's hoping nobody notices her wild crush on Vette. Though I think Pierce wouldn't mind too much if he figured it out...

 

Oh lol, I see that ending wonderfully. Honestly though, I'd like to see the wrath deal with Satele showing up for that, and then the **** hitting the fan. Full on Republic war-machine style.