Marr

[Lunafox]

Well, that was certainly a fitting ending. I loved how Marr kept hold of his 'normal' darkness as he stepped through the void - in part because it suits him and in part because it feels like an 'up yours' to Satele and that's always appreciated.

 

The whole sequence on Tython was unbearably cute and, of course, a little heartbreaking towards the end. Heavy boulders have so much to answer for. I got a little confused and thought Satele might already be dead already, since having Theron in proximity on Tython might be a bad idea, but then I realised Trix can't really kill her when she's that young (I think).

 

And Vowrawn...Stay classy, Vowrawn

 

As I've said before, I will get round to reading the Foundation of All Desire but (if this doesn't sound weird) it's the personality of the companions that I don't want spoiled too much (especially Vector), so I will complete the class story first. I guess I have motivation to do it extra-fast

 

I'm really happy that you enjoyed the story, and I think in retaining who he was underneath 'the darkness' made sense and it didn't feel like I was neutering his character at all by doing it this way, and yet it still paves the way for Satele and Marr to work together as Force Ghosts in any future stories I do.

 

I'm also pleased that you enjoyed the part with the children and that sadness that came with it, and perhaps even kickstarted who Liatrix eventually becomes. You're right, Liatrix at that age wouldn't be able to take on the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order. She had a lot of raw gifts and power with the Force, but it needed to be trained and she needed to learn discipline and control over time. Even as an adult it was still a challenging duel between them. That flashback to the children was just to show what life was like for Liatrix after she was taken away and made to go to the temple, and also to show what started her on the path to who she becomes.

 

You'd be safe enough to read Foundation I think, Vector and the agent don't figure in that one, there is some business with the Bounty Hunter class, and Balkar from the Trooper story and Theron is there as well. Spy Vs. Spy is the one that deals more heavily with the agent stories, but again I don't think it's overly spoilery, but why chance it, read them when/if you get the time and hopefully you'll enjoy them, and a more complete picture will form from having read all the stories.

 

Thanks for reading and for the lovely comments, it's much appreciated.

[JennyFlynn]

Can't believe this has come to an end, though what a master piece.

 

I'm still oddly, thrilled that it was Satele guiding him in the Force Tide. Yes, an odd choice given all circumstances in life but if I recall right, wasn't Marr's birth mother Lilin Shan? Don't remember if/how she and Satele were connected but I'd assume they are... which makes Satele's presence rather poetic and good actually. I'm curious, is there a family connection there? Like are she and Marr like, second cousins or something?

 

The scene between little Theron and little Liatrix was adorable, truly. I don't recall them remembering each other though in Foundation? Perhaps they were too young... kinda wish they did. I suppose in some ways Theron was her first real friend.

 

HOLY CRAP! Vowrawn literally pissed on Ravage? Didn't expect that! Brutal death sure, possible mutilation (totally woulda cut his member off myself) but peeing on him? Stars Vowrawn. I laughed though, after I got over the initial W.T.F shock. I actually forced myself to re-read it not sure if that really just happened. My poor Ravage... it's okay if I'm a little gutted he's dead right? He was such a wonderful villain...

 

Looks like Marr got some closure at last, and he deserved it. You've done masterful work with this fiction Luna and I've enjoyed every second of it. I'm gonna miss having this on my weekends so selfishly speaking I hope your break won't last too long but as a friend... enjoy your time off, follow your dreams and inspiration and good luck. I'll be there when you decide to post something new. Thank you for your hard work and for sharing your creative vision.

[Lunafox]

Can't believe this has come to an end, though what a master piece.

 

I'm still oddly, thrilled that it was Satele guiding him in the Force Tide. Yes, an odd choice given all circumstances in life but if I recall right, wasn't Marr's birth mother Lilin Shan? Don't remember if/how she and Satele were connected but I'd assume they are... which makes Satele's presence rather poetic and good actually. I'm curious, is there a family connection there? Like are she and Marr like, second cousins or something?

 

The scene between little Theron and little Liatrix was adorable, truly. I don't recall them remembering each other though in Foundation? Perhaps they were too young... kinda wish they did. I suppose in some ways Theron was her first real friend.

 

HOLY CRAP! Vowrawn literally pissed on Ravage? Didn't expect that! Brutal death sure, possible mutilation (totally woulda cut his member off myself) but peeing on him? Stars Vowrawn. I laughed though, after I got over the initial W.T.F shock. I actually forced myself to re-read it not sure if that really just happened. My poor Ravage... it's okay if I'm a little gutted he's dead right? He was such a wonderful villain...

 

Looks like Marr got some closure at last, and he deserved it. You've done masterful work with this fiction Luna and I've enjoyed every second of it. I'm gonna miss having this on my weekends so selfishly speaking I hope your break won't last too long but as a friend... enjoy your time off, follow your dreams and inspiration and good luck. I'll be there when you decide to post something new. Thank you for your hard work and for sharing your creative vision.

 

 

*blushes* Well thank you I can't believe it's done myself lol. It was a long haul, almost as long as Foundation.

 

I think it made sense that Satele was the one in the Force tide guiding Marr. You remember correctly, Lilin Shan was Marr's mother and I figure he and Satele are very distant cousins. There are some Shans that aren't well known in the family tree, I figure Marr's mum hailed from one of those. It also served to have them in a position where they could meet up and be on Odessen if I do that.

 

I'm glad you liked the scene with Little Theron and Liatrix. That scene hasn't been mentioned anywhere else, I figure they were too young to remember each other. I have friends like that, inseparable as little kids, but I couldn't pick them out of a line up now. I also figure in a small way the ease between Theron and Liatrix came from being comfortable around each other, because of this friendship, even if it wasn't remembered. Theron was her first real friend and also the first real heart break that may have planted the seeds for future choices.

 

And yep, I went there, Vowrawn really did do that. I figured it was a bit shocking when I did it and then thought, maybe I shouldn't, but ultimately decided, 'oh eff it' it's going in lol. And I'm glad I did leave it in now. I get your feeling about Ravage, I feel the same, I love him too, but in this story he really had it coming and I didn't see him surviving all he did and it allowed Marr to get his closure and 'peace' so that he could focus on the will of the Force.

 

I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the story so much and I get what you're saying. I'm not sure how long my break will be, I'll just play it by ear. The urge to write is always there poking at me. Last night I didn't know what to do with myself lol, as I was saying to Misha, I felt a bit out to sea lol. I'll get back to it eventually, but yeah after a year, a couple weeks to do bugger all will work wonders

 

Thanks so much for sticking with the stories and for your loyal support and insightful comments. It means a lot to me and it's very appreciated. *hugs*

[Foxfirerose]

I very much enjoyed this last chapter, even though it's sad that it is the last one. I always hate to see good stories come to an end.

 

Like the others, I really loved the part about Liatrix and little Theron....so sad when they were separated though.

And Vowrawn, geeze, only HE would come up with what he did to Ravage! That was a shocker, but I sure can't say Ravage didn't deserve it.

 

I will really be looking forward to seeing what you decide to do next. You are truly a Master of the craft of writing, and I am just happy that you share your talents with us. I have to agree with Jenny, selfishly I hope it's a short break, but as the "nice" person that I really am, I hope it's as long as it needs to be and that you relax and enjoy it:)

[Lunafox]

I very much enjoyed this last chapter, even though it's sad that it is the last one. I always hate to see good stories come to an end.

 

Like the others, I really loved the part about Liatrix and little Theron....so sad when they were separated though.

And Vowrawn, geeze, only HE would come up with what he did to Ravage! That was a shocker, but I sure can't say Ravage didn't deserve it.

 

I will really be looking forward to seeing what you decide to do next. You are truly a Master of the craft of writing, and I am just happy that you share your talents with us. I have to agree with Jenny, selfishly I hope it's a short break, but as the "nice" person that I really am, I hope it's as long as it needs to be and that you relax and enjoy it:)

 

Thanks Foxfirerose! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm a bit sad that it's over too. To work on something for so long, you really miss it when it's not there anymore.

 

I'm also happy that you enjoyed the scene with the young'uns And Vowrawn, well he always was a bit of a scene stealer, why should the ending be any different lol.

 

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments and encouragement. It means a lot to me, thank you for reading! <3

[frauzet]

Please forgive me for being late.

I am glad I found the time to finally read this last chapter.

Not that I need anything to look forward to weekends, still I'll miss your story.

Thank you very much for sharing this one with us.

I hope -- after a well earned rest -- inspiration will bring you back with the next story.

I'll be here waiting for you

 

Kudos! <3

[Lunafox]

Please forgive me for being late.

I am glad I found the time to finally read this last chapter.

Not that I need anything to look forward to weekends, still I'll miss your story.

Thank you very much for sharing this one with us.

I hope -- after a well earned rest -- inspiration will bring you back with the next story.

I'll be here waiting for you

 

Kudos! <3

 

That's ok, Frauzet No worries, better late than never

 

I'm glad you liked it and I appreciate that you read and commented, which fed me along the way to keep going. ^^

I'm sure I'll be back soon enough, I'm already growing antsy and it's only been a week lol.

 

Thanks so much for the lovely comment, it means a lot and is much appreciated. <3

[Diviciacus]

Hi Lunafox!

 

It has been a long time in coming, but I have returned with explosive triumph to complete my review of Marr! I am also utterly unrepentant at necro'ing this thread!

 

I don’t think I can adequately express how much interest I have should you continue to write. For many reasons I am sorry for not following along as I should have. (Not least of which because it took me like three weeks straight to review this from Chapter 7 to the end!) You’re an incredibly skilled and talented writer, Lunafox – although not without your preponderance of extra commas haha – and I look forward with baited breath for your next piece… No matter its subject.

 

That being said, and this time I am actually sorry, enjoy the prodigious planetfall of a whopping forty-four chapters worth of review for Marr:

 

Septimum Caput

 

 

-I can’t believe I didn’t review chapters seven, eight, nine, and ten because I know I read them when they were first published last year…. I wonder if somewhere, an Age from now, I’ll find a USB drive with a forgotten first series of review notes that went further than the last chapter – Six – for which I actually posted a review.

-Interesting that Vowrawn doesn’t seem to be exactly beholden to Taxon here. It’s more like a…. business arrangement. How spectacularly Vowrawn.

-Alternatively, what does Vowrawn have on Taxon that he can be so flippant to a Councillor? Although I suppose realistically we find out the opposite is true; but I don’t recall it ever being explained why Taxon couldn’t just kill Vowrawn and be done with it. Remember those dice comments from a year ago?

-It’s just not a proper sacrifice without carving runes into Marr’s flesh. Right?

-I love the dejarik imagery, what an excellently crafted paragraph.

-Vowrawn plays the long con for somewhere between power and entertainment and it’s always hilarious. But at the same time, maddening; he never seems to have goals… no end-game. It’s always one step, and then another, and an irreverent façade to mask seemingly nothing. It’s almost as if Vowrawn plots for the sake of plotting.

-Taxon is also eventually a dick because he reneges on his part of the accord and does not in fact take Marr for an apprentice. Only a fool, apparently.

-There is a tiny bit of hypocrisy in Vowrawn’s taunting about the lack of apprentice, given that he doesn’t take one for some fifty years after this conversation.

-Oh, so Taxon does have dirt on Vowrawn. We later find out what it is and I’ll have more commentary there but for now, Taxon’s arrogance is grating. If Vowrawn moved against him… he’d be too dead to ever notice. As we will see.

-“Ah, depravity. One of my better qualities . . .” I need to remember that line. It’s great!

-Child-Marr is… I forget. Eight or nine here? Survey says ten after re-reading the next couple of chapters.

-Speaking of chapters… I might as well point out something that occurred to me in later readings (somewhere around the period where Liaseph is Ravage’s sex slave), which is that this is less a novella and more… an anthology of short stories concerning Marr’s upbringing. More on this later.

-He never does reclaim this lightsaber though. I feel like I ought to point it out here since it’s the last time it’s really mentioned that I can recall. He steals the very saber of Tulak Hord (in fair combat, I suppose) and then… kind of forgets about the one that was his biological father’s.

-What a curious creature. Its name isn’t reckoned in Wookieepedia, but noghri are a thing, and physiologically vaguely similar. And also sharing a sense of smell so keen as to distinguish bloodlines.

-Oh, oops. Vowrawn miscalculated some. I don’t think he’ll do that again when it comes to Marr.

-Random thought, but scale of 1-10 how hard was it to write this in first person?

-I can’t help but wonder if this is the same mortuary temple as Liatrix and Scourge later visit. Marr has no idea where he is currently, and the descriptors are certainly similar. I think it is the same place. Yes.

-Seems a little surprising that a ten-year-old – even a Sith one – wouldn’t be kind of terrified here.

-Interesting how when Liatrix and Scourge come here later, she doesn’t see the cloaked knowledge.

-Marr could probably stand a little brain-bleach here.

-Why wouldn’t Tulak Hord just ruin Taxon and Vowrawn’s ****?

-Taxon doesn’t see much when it comes down to it, does he.

-Noes! Poor creature!

-Noes! Idiot Taxon!

 

 

 

Octavum Caput

 

 

-Among other things Taxon is terrible at: archaeology. This isn’t even slightly how one would run a proper dig if you were actually looking for something.

-Quite a lot of time has passed here in a very interesting way. Did you know, in ancient Irish myths (and indeed in much of “Celtic” lore) a night and a day (ie. a 24-hour cycle) can stand in for and represent a year, a lifetime, or indeed all of creation. I enjoy how it’s an internal monologue from Marr that transitions so smoothly, as if he was looking and thinking and looking and thinking and suddenly he’s 17 or 18.

-I am 100% convinced it’s no accident Marr dreams what he does when he does.

-Also a bit of ironic foreshadowing in that Marr never does marry. I admit however I had assumed he and Liaseph were married while reading The Foundation of All Desire.

-“The workmen laughed, Vowrawn laughed, and then the camp flashed purple with the static hiss of lightning and no one laughed.” This is such a great line! “My girlfriend asked why I carry a gun around the house. I looked her in the eye and said ‘the gosh darn Decepticons.’ She laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed. I shot the toaster.”

-“Good, good. I can feel your anger.” –Palpatine. Can’t blame him. Vowrawn has more patience in this situation than I would, but by the same token he’s not above admitting everything is kind of his fault so I guess patience would be expected.

-Vowrawn was also utterly not expecting Marr to be this physically imposing, and it’s fun to watch him miscalculate for once. Not the last time it happens with Marr to some degree.

- “I’m here to teach you how to live. . .” Knowing the end of the next chapter, well… Vowrawn’s not a liar at any rate.

-This novella is just so full of great lines: “I didn’t know whether I should laugh or beat him to death.”

-ehehehe, a KOTFE reference! That old body switch though. I guess Gault had to learn somewhere!

-Aliens have their uses. Like a certain twi’lek later. And a certain SIS twi’lek even later.

-Taxon doesn’t see much, but Vowrawn sees everything. I also always think of Gowron whenever I type his name out and it’s weird. No, self, wrong sci-fi series! Stop that!

-If you can’t go to the academy, have Vowrawn bring the academy to you. Almost literally.

-Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean someone isn’t out to get you. Although in this case I think Vowrawn is astute enough to know that he could never access the knowledge in Hord’s reliquary. But is willing to make that sacrifice to get out from under the thumb of Taxon. Must be a hell of a blackmail.

-Crispy workers best workers, haha! Clearly someone is as powerful as he is steeped in occult lore.

-When did Vowrawn have the time to plant that many explosives? Regardless, I quite enjoy the imagery of how you described the explosions. Very realistic!

-Quite the throwing arm he’s got though! I wonder what new not-actually-a-weapon Marr will have to find?

 

 

 

Nonum Caput

 

 

-The opening line of normal text reminds me of Colossus’ words to Deadpool in the 2016 film: “Everyone thinks it's a full-time job. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not true. Over a lifetime, there are only four or five moments that really matter. Moments when you're offered a choice - to make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend, spare an enemy. In these moments, everything else falls away.”

-I feel like that should have been could rather than would in “with a voice that would command…”, since the former is a subjunctive (indicates potentiality), while the latter is a future. Sorry, my linguistics is showing… *stuffs back in box*

-Poor Silthar, replaced before his first shift!

-Mar is both too old and has no time for Tulak Hord’s ****.

-And is sick of it.

-You know I didn’t consider it initially but Tulak Hord is playing the longest con of all. All this work, just to be reborn as… Liatricis daughter in The Foundation of All Desire. I still can’t decide if he succeeded there or not. It’s very ambiguous.

-Tulak Hord is also easily the most ****ed up Sith you’ve written, but he’s so low-key about it. I mean, Ravage is a monster, but… manipulating his own descendants to further his eldritch aims. That’s scary.

-I do enjoy how Marr never actually does form a pact with Hord that isn’t at least even. He has vision. I also find it a disturbing leitmotif of this entire novella that the bad guy going “Can’t get Marr, so I’ll ruin his woman” pops up so often.

-I’ve never been a particular fan of spelling magic with a k. Fun fact: spelling it as “magick” is a deliberate archaism invented by neopagans. Magic in and of itself is a bit of a disappointment as a word because the original Old English words for the same ideas were much more hardcore (but replaced by the Français magique with the Norman conquest after 1066).

-For easily most of this exchange until Hord summoned her by name I was picturing his adoptive parents. Woops.

-The real question here, is… is she real? I trust Tulak Hord no further than I can throw him. And he is a Force apparition so I cannot throw him at all. Additionally, interesting that she manifests in the cool blue of the light side. As, you know, a “Jedi.”

-Alternatively, have you watched the Clone Wars cartoon? There’s an episode where (spoilers, I guess? It’s years old at this point…) Yoda visits the tomb of Darth Bane on Korriban and I always imagined, even as far back as Foundation of All Desire that Tulak Hord’s spirit looks quite similar. (Fun fact: Bane was voiced by Mark Hamill in that cartoon!)

-Marr is excessively observant in perceiving that Hord desires something. Having read The Foundation of All Desire, I know what that thing is, as I mentioned above. But I don’t think Marr ever does. There is, later, enough information in Marr for the reader to suspect – even to understand – but I don’t think Marr ever does. I will revisit this point later, Gnost Dural style.

-So many holocrons! Waaaaaant!

-I enjoy the subtle nod to the focus of warrior vs inquisitor here.

-Poor Silthar. Just catches no breaks.

-It’s funny what one considers exotic. Blue twi’leks aren’t exactly novel in the galaxy as a whole, but Marr has probably never seen one, let alone blue.

-“Stop abusing that training droid” ahaha

-I’ve never really understood the appeal of twi’leks, both in-universe and outside it. I just kind of feel like they’re overdone.

-That last paragraph though. Whooooaaaaaa…. Poor Liaseph. *foreshadowing*

 

 

 

Decimum Caput

 

 

-So I was looking through my old notes from The Foundation of All Desire because I knew I would need them, and you know I find it very interesting how my commentary has changed over the years. Review notes for the chapters of Foundation I reviewed are contained in a 12-page word document. (56 out of 60, and some chapters only even have a couple of bullet points!!) Yet for Marr I’m already nine and a half pages in and I have only just begun Chapter X.

-Opening line: not for lack of trying on Marr’s part I guess. Shame, that.

-“Every moment.” More than you know, Marr. More than you know.

-Also why is Vowrawn constantly trying to get him drunk? “I wonder what happens when I get a future Sith Lord who is built like a brick **** house blitzed.” -Vowrawn

-Are… saints a thing in Star Wars? I mean the colloquialism is apt but I do wonder.

-Taxon’s only emotional state is livid. I rag on this guy so much but at the same time it’s so very obvious that you’ve written a fairly one-dimensional punching bag of a villain on purpose. One who is so very fun to beat.

-“In the game of [council seats], you win or you die.”

-While I was not even slightly surprised to learn that Vowrawn has his fingers in half the galaxy (even before the Great Galactic War began), because that is his way, a couple corporation names dropped I don’t think Vowrawn would have controlling interest in. CEC, Balmorran Arms, and Czerka mostly. If Vowrawn was 51% or more stakeholder in the first two, the Empire would have had a very different time on those planets, and Czerka is too… generically chaotic stupid/evil corporation amongst its top brass (think the Tatooine world story on Republic side, or the CZ198 story) to be believably controlled secretly by a Sith lord. I mean I guess he could have sold it off for whatever reason, but it’s a huge corporation with a lot of fingers. It would be a loss of control I don’t think Vowrawn would really find tenable.

-Always the tiniest bit odd the fire in Hord’s tomb is blue, a Light Side sort of color.

-Also, cue the

from Rogue One.

-Hord is kind of not wrong though, knowing The Foundation of All Desire. Wives betray? Yup Liaseph does (unintentionally and/or coerced). Husbands betray? Yup Ravage does (all over the floor, even! It’s a wonder he doesn’t trip on it all). Children betray? Yup, Liatrix betrays a lot of things (mostly the Republic). Slaves? Yup Marr’s adoptive mother did. Masters? HOOOOO do they ever. Apprentices? Always.

-I suppose technically Liatrix never did betray Marr so Tulak Hord definitely has an IOU for that.

-I wonder which of Hord’s many battles is being reenacted here, impossible to tell but fantastically written!

-I enjoy the description here so much! It is perhaps one of my favorite passages in the whole of this novella.

-The foreshadowing is also great! Hey Marr… turns out that’s exactly what you’re doing right now anyway. Funny how the Force works.

-They are one with the Force, and the Force is with them.

-Tulak Hord is one to speak of arrogance. Does his arrogance know no bounds?

-I really enjoy this story of how Marr came to be in possession of the lightsaber of Tulak Hord.

-Here’s where things get crazy again. I could only find information on the size of a legion in Star Wars for the movie-era Galactic Republic (and by extension, the Galactic Empire under Palpatine): 9,216 troops. If the Sith Empire’s are even remotely close, that’s still some 100,000 troops to capture three men. It feels… unrealistically large a force for the task at hand.

 

 

 

Undecimum Caput]

 

 

-Not going to lie, somewhere around here is where I started to look up every name and place on Wookieepedia. The surprising thing is not how few of them appear in TOR – it is too early for that – but how few exist at all. You created a lot of characters and places for this!

-These are weirdly mediaeval Christian charges and it’s hilarious! While the first two could certainly be charges laid in the Sith Empire – Keleth Ur is entombed in the Dark Temple on Dromund Kaas for blasphemy certainly – augury makes no sense as a charge when Force sensitivity baseline confers varying levels of (semi)-controllable precognition. Every Jedi ever and most Sith would be guilty of it.

-It does seem by Vowrawn’s actions that he’s complicit in this. An excellent gamble, to be sure; either Marr dies and the charges don’t stick to Vowrawn and Silthar, or Marr lives and Vowrawn has, to use a chess metaphor in much the same way this story becomes fond, put his queen in a dangerous position in order to draw his opponent into a checkmate.

-I’ve noticed this several times in all of your stories: “The pieces are at last, in play.” That comma probably isn’t supposed to be there. This kind of thing pops up a lot; I’m guessing editing and it being left behind or a pause in thought causing you to reflexively type a comma. I don’t know… but it happens a lot: multiple times per chapter.

-Marr clearly has the same suspicion of Vowrawn I do, which makes me feel a little silly because I forgot he came to the same conclusion while writing the commentary on the second readthrough.

-It also seems like several dozen thousand troops disappear here when they are able to get onto a single shuttle.

-If they’re still on Dromund Fels, a three hour rather than three-day journey seems more reasonable.

-Not eating here was probably not the wisest decision but I guess it works out in the end regardless. Perception is not wisdom and Marr is only 21 here.

-Narcotic, eh? What description in such brevity of language! Incredible!

-Marr’s relationship with the very darkest corners of the Force mirrors his later conflict with the Void. The more seductive it is the more he resists and the more he resists the more seductive it is.

-Of course Vowrawn spends the trip swindling people. Of course he does.

-Does the Empire… know about Sabacc at this point?

-Jackals do kind of laugh, don’t they.

-Marr has been to Dromund Kaas already, but that is not what he is talking about, is it.

-Darth Demolis is weirdly trusting of Marr’s story but I suppose as head of the Sphere of Mysteries, he… knows certain things.

-It wouldn’t be a Council meeting if Vowrawn wasn’t fashionably late!

-Interesting how the Dromund Kaas Council chamber has only one statue of the Emperor when the later one on Korriban will line the walls with Vitiate.

-Chimes sound too… high pitched and airy for the Dark Council, honestly. May I suggest tremendous bells?

-On the other hand, this is also a much fancier Council chamber than the Korriban one.

-Plot twist: the edge of the light IS a containment field, Marr!

-Marr has no time for anyone’s ****. Ever.

-I do so thoroughly enjoy how you had Demolis recording his conversation with Marr outside the council chambers. Dude clearly has a grudge against Taxon. But then I guess that’s not that special because just looking at Taxon’s face is enough to incur a grudge.

-I enjoy that Darth Arctis is the very same one that is eventually mentioned in the Inquisitor storyline.

-It does seem a bit weird that a governing body that by its very nature would be full of intrigue, manipulation, and plotting would have an even number and thus the possibility for ties on votes. I blame less the Emperor and more so, the early writers of TOR for this oversight though.

-Marr definitely has no time for Taxon’s ****.

 

 

 

Duodecimum Caput

 

 

-I quite enjoy the opening line. I will have to remember that.

-Haha, “stayed dead”! *remembers Spy vs. Spy* *cries a little* *maybe a lot*

-Dude is ooooogly. I mean he always was but time has not been kind to Taxon.

-Vowrawn jests about comfortable chairs now, but the ones on Korriban are upholstered. (I even checked!)

-Huttball < fight to claim a Council seat, imo.

-Taxon is a bull in a china shop. Of course, two paragraphs later Vowrawn literally calls Marr a matador.

-Demolis is in no way wrong here. Definitely cheating, but I am not surprised.

-I enjoy the symbolism here: “I rolled three times and landed in a crouch at the far end of the arena, stopping just short of the Emperor’s headless torso.” Yes Marr, yes you do.

-Hey now! Throwing rocks is a Jedi trick

-The darkness is seductive and sweet, but takes its price in the fullness of time.

-This reminds me of the scene in the Constantine movie where his henchman/driver/buddy is killed. Connected?

-I’m vaguely surprised Taxon survives this punishment.

-Hosannas? A rare word. That Hebrew, though.

-Marr has no time for Cynster’s ****. I say this a lot. Marr just has zero tolerance for bull **** and time wasting. It’s prodigal.

-Marr: “Are you not entertained?!”

-This is so very much the end of ROTJ!

-I mean, you know, until the darkness tears away Taxon’s flesh and leaves only dust in its wake. I don’t remember that scene in Return of the Jedi… Anyway, it’s always struck me a bit – at least after being exposed to KOTOR and other Bioware titles – that the movie-era of the Star Wars universe is very much a twilight of skill and technique. Jedi and Sith of the Galactic War era have forgotten more Force techniques by the time they become a Master/Darth than even exist in Anakin Skywalker’s time.

-Not 100% sure what Marr’s plan here was. Earlier as a child he had sworn to be a Council member but now that he can just claim the chair he’s like…nahhh, it’s time for a beer.

-Sucks to be Cynster because Vowrawn is absolutely about to get handsy.

-Demolis also has no time for anyone’s ****. I kind of enjoy this character. Too bad he’s extra special dead by the time of TOR. Although his (possible) replacement, Darth Rictus, has never shown up either, other than to give a name to the person giving the orders for Imperial forces on Oricon. (Speaking of which, especially given the interlude with the Dread Masters later in the story, have you played through Oricon? Through the Dread Fortress and Dread Palace? Some of the best boss fights in TOR are there, and some of the best story. The whole Dread Master arc was honestly top-notch.)

-Just as a point of reference, you stop spelling it Arctis and start spelling it Arctus. Minor point but it’s there.

-Speaking of Arctis, good gods he’s on the council a loooong time. He’s already the oldest member when Marr joins, and that’s in 3680BBY (born in 3702 and Councillor at 22). And he’s still on it until 3641 BBY when he is presumably killed by Thanaton. Although I suppose “being old as dirt” is a possible cause of death as well given the above.

-However, as a minor continuity error: Marr ascends to the council in 3680BBY, but the Great Galactic War begins in 3681BBY, a year before. Therefore, the following quote from Arctis, “It seems we face the advent of galactic war, with no one to lead the Sphere of Defense of the Empire” doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The Empire had already blitzkrieged through almost half the Republic fleet and retaken/conquered dozens of star systems in the first year.

-Illo dicto, absolutely incredible chapter, as always!

 

 

 

Tredecimum Caput

 

 

-I love all these opening lines. So delicious!

-Marr has no time for the Void, either. Why won’t you give it a hug, Marr?

-So I correctly guessed that the voice here was Satele Shan, like 30 chapters early But I suppose I was expecting it, given KOTFE Chapter XII.

-I love how even here, Marr is like “hmm well maybe challenging the Emperor to single combat was kind of stupid.” But that is the way of all Sith, isn’t it? They live until they make a mistake.

-I think this is the first mention of chess? I really enjoyed that occasional leitmotif as the story progressed. But for all his vision it’s curious that Marr doesn’t seem to consider that a game of chess is very much a battle nonetheless.

-I wonder if someone should introduce Marr to Grand Moff Tarkin. “Alderaan? What Alderaan?”

-We never do find out why Marr’s shuttle is crashing. Or for that matter, why he’s alone as a Councillor.

-Ugh, killiks. Fun fact: did you know they are in fact a spacefaring race. Technically.

-Nobles and their ridiculously uptight… other things.

-This initial exchange between Marr and Liaseph is oddly familiar, like I’ve heard it before.

-“Is that a hint of disappointment?” hahaha

-Not that it’s happened yet, but I enjoy your explanation of why House Teraan “exists.”

-Liaseph already has an interestingly adroit view of the Sith – if one perhaps also looking through a dirty window from the outside in.

-In a way, almost all of Marr and Liaseph’s conversations go much the same way as this. They almost – but never do – understand each other.

-“Yes, but they might miss and shoot me instead.” Hahaha, that Rogue One reference!

 

 

 

Quattuordecimum Caput

 

 

-There’s no delay, even! This week’s opener is just like… boom! Here’s what it’s talking about!

-Does kolto come in bars? I had always thought it was kind of a liquidy paste?

-“I was taught the same about Alderaanian nobility.” #ShotsFired

-I feel like

really fits well with this chapter as music.

-I see Liatrix got her snark from her mother!

-Somewhere around here is where I realized this was really set up as a series of short stories.

-Poor Marr, only fires in creepy tombs (or tombs of creepers, as the case may be) are prophetic.

-Marr is his own foreshadowing. Liaseph in time does come to resent her life on Dromund Kaas, but in the end – and too late – does she let go of her hate.

-Everything is a battlefield, my dear Liaseph.

-Her father is just all kinds of idiot though. What man is too proud to collect on debts owed him? Also what man lends enough money he becomes destitute without repayment? I never did nor will I ever have sympathy for Liatricis maternal grandfather.

-What a great paragraph describing Liaseph’s hate. So delicious!

-An opera, or the Life of Marr and Liaseph? Avernal. Avernian. Avernus. A toxic caldera lake in Italy. (Fun fact: Avernus is name of the first circle of Hell in Dungeons and Dragons.) I’m missing the significance of calling this representation of Liaseph “window,” however. A window is what, I wonder, to Liaseph.

-I should quite like to concur with Marr here. I have been helping a friend rebuild his ceiling and attic and have spent quite a lot of time thinking about my own story, and as the grand engine of time has turned, commentary on Marr.

-Marr is looking and thinking and looking and thinking and suddenly he wakes up. Woops. No I am not sorry for quoting that Calvin and Hobbes comic a second time.

-Captain of the traitorous derps, more like!

-First thing the Jedi does: SABERTIME! Rylister was never good at these things. Of course he’s Miralukan. Nominally blind.

-Worried sick he’s going to stay poor, maybe. Disgusting.

-Marr never does actually hurt Rylister. But of course, orchestrating an execution is just semantics.

 

 

 

Quindecimum Caput

 

 

-Limits to Marr’s patience? What patience?

-This exchange is one of those sections with all the extra commas I mentioned a few chapters back.

-This Jedi is in so far over his head he doesn’t even know there’s a ceiling. Nor does he realize the implication of Marr’s words.

-Realistically, how much trouble does not simply knifing Rylister here cause Marr? Quite a bit, I’d reckon.

-The Thul as a whole seem to be largely simpering fools; I rather enjoyed your depiction of the Thul palace.

-The mortality rate among arrogant Sith apprentices on Thul lands must be staggering. Almost every class story gets to kill at least one.

-Kendoh Thul makes me tableflip.

-Marr is kind of a creeper here, lol. Dude in heavy armor and a mask is watching youuuu….

-It’s no accident the TOR devs made Thul wear every Sith shade but black.

-The Jedi is no more her friend than Marr is, let’s be real here. In some ways, that’s the biggest problem with their relationship. Marr is never able to wholly let his guard down with her and so the friendship is always missing. Ravage being a **** lord doesn’t help either.

-So Liaseph bites does she. Rawr! haha

-What a curious phrase. “. . .on tenterhooks”

-Neither of them are wrong here.

-“. . . freedom bought with a bloody family.” If only that’s how things had panned out.

-“far younger” like a decade Marr, that’s not much. Stop complaining.

-She really does end up having to wait for him, doesn’t she?

-Liaseph says she does, but she doesn’t really.

-I wonder if Marr in his fifties or sixties retains some measure of the handsomeness of his youth?

-Haha, always with the directness, Marr.

 

 

 

Sedecimum Caput

 

 

-I enjoy that after fifteen chapters of the opening line referencing what will happen, this one has referenced what has happened.

-Ahh, fresh love. So wonderful. Also swiiiiings! Weee!

-Marr occasionally does miss things. Liaseph has none of the cunning or malice of the Sith. Yet.

-An interesting irony. We think of course that Liaseph is destroyed by the Republic but that is in truth a lie. And then we find out what Marr might do.

-Liaseph is right but for the wrong reasons. She does lose him.

-True to his word, Marr does eventually give Liaseph the reins on designing their home.

-*fans self* wowowow!

-Always the box with a mutilated body in your stories haha!

-I guess every once in a while Marr has to be a typical Sith! If it wasn’t for Marr the Thuls would never have known though. They’re so incompetent it hurts. How can the Empire back them? ;_;

-Ugh! The Ulgo conspiring with the Republic. How distasteful

-Clearly Bartok doesn’t. What a dick.

 

 

 

Septendecimum Caput

 

 

-I’m not sure I appreciate Marr’s appreciation for the Ulgos.

-I also notice during the Alderaan short story that you never mention the Panteer ruling family. I find it curious, given that Bouris Ulgo doesn’t assassinate Silara Panteer until after the Treaty of Coruscant. I suppose they’re not relevant for the story but at the same time at least a passing in mention of who truly rules Alderaan would have made in-universe sense.

-I do appreciate that Marr is willing to admit he’s bad at slicing.

-Curious that he also mentions the Force and the Darkness as if they are separate entities.

-I thoroughly enjoy your description of the astromech droid. They really are kind of derpy puppies. Or, as Ben Burtt, lead sound designer for all the Star Wars films said, an “ornery toddler” (of R2-D2).

-Such a fierce droid!

-Why are two-man scouting parties always so incompetent? It’s like the ultimate story trope. Not saying your writing is bad of course! Sure, shoot at the Sith there, buddy. Don’t even try to radio for backup. Derp.

-Marr’s predicament is absolutely hilarious as he just starts mashing the button out of frustration.

-Sucks to be Ulgo.

-Communicated with? Yes. Recruited? Probably not.

-Interesting how early it is that Marr begins to consider the usefulness of aliens in the Empire.

-Also interesting is how the Republic was at one time allied with Ulgo. I imagine that ended with the attempt at extermination of House Panteer. With the strong Organa ties to the Jedi, of course it makes sense for the Republic to then back them.

-Welp. Umbros got rekt. Deservedly so. But like Ravage goes completely tableflip over this. It’s almost silly how much the dude hates Marr for essentially no reason. No that’s a lie, it’s way beyond silly.

 

 

 

Duodevigensimum Caput

 

 

-Welp. It’s Fan-****-hitting time.

-“Only the perimeter walls had been maintained, giving the illusion that there was something worth protecting inside.” My my Lunafox! Your ability to both throw shade at Liaseph’s family and also foreshadow that she’s not there at the same time is absolutely stunning.

-I enjoy the story of how most of House Teraan came to ruin. Obviously there must be survivors somewhere, but few.

-Ahh, the thin catharsis of destruction.

-Liaseph’s sister is both an idiot and a waste of space.

-UGH. This is a stupid, awful thing. It’s worthless in real life and presumably it’s even less useful in Star Wars.

 

 

 

Undevigensimum Caput

 

 

-Given what happens in this chapter, it’s patently obvious the foetus isn’t Liatrix. But even beyond that, knowing The Foundation of All Desire would make it obvious as well because we know that Marr loses track of Liatrix for something like… four years?

-Marr’s pretty grim here. “And the cycle would continue until it didn’t.” Indeed.

-At least Marr is willing to step up to the plate. I have known and no longer do more than one boy who peaced right the **** out when finding out their girlfriend/wife was with child.

-Minor continuity error but Marr and Liaseph finally had sex like… last night. How is she three weeks along? (Minor slip up since that chapter was three to four weeks old by the time this one was uploaded?)

-This is kind of confusing because there’s no way a fat, stupid, old woman would be able to do anything of this sort after being stabbed. Let alone overpower a 20-year-old. Even if the wound isn’t a fatal one.

-I think this should be “patted” rather than “padded,” but by the same token, months too slow.

-Ba-ha-ha-ha. The Sith are pure evil? You know nothing, child.

-Gods but her sister is stupid. “UUUUUUHHH MUH TEA SET UUUUUHHH”

-Ugh Zygerrans. Ugh. Disgusting.

-Oh hey it’s the same bounty hunter that killed Marr’s adoptive mother and Lord Corsin.

-Real talk, were I Marr, I would have just melted Alderaan into slag with a fleet at this point. Definitely tough to read this section. It took me like… two days to start reviewing again.

 

 

 

Vigensimum Caput

 

 

-I deeply enjoy the description and cathartic destruction of House Baliss, but I’m also vaguely disappointed we didn’t get to see it.

-The foreshadowing here. Artificial perfection of the beat of an organic heart. Replaced eventually. I find it most telling that Marr’s real heart feels nothing and yet he has an artificial one when things begin to look up between he and Liaseph.

-Is Marr wrong about the Jedi? I think not.

-Pointing out the truth is so delicious. It is of course the grand hypocrisy of the Jedi Order that the unnatural restrictions cause nothing but problems.

-250% I would have ordered orbital bombardment here.

-Isn’t Vilks still the CO of the Erinyes even at the end of The Foundation of All Desire? That guy must be so old by that point! And apparently able to take a hint because he survives so long. I mean Darth Vader needs a new CO so often it’s a wonder there’s even crew left to run the Executor.

-Vowrawn is already plotting, transparently so. We later find out he’s the buyer and of course this transmission is mere misdirection. He worries that a Marr on the warpath will find out, I think.

 

 

 

Vigensimum et Unum Caput

 

 

-That foreshadowing though. Like, damn.

-I’ve always kind of hated Ravage. He’s useless and whiny in-game.

-Ohhh, that Revenge of the Sith reference! Well played!

-The effortless transition here between Then-Marr and Marr-Marr and back is so smooth! I hardly noticed on a second reading, let alone the first time. Or how Satele hijacks Marr’s recollections. This is the first time but not the last that it happens.

-I suppose it should have been obvious from the descriptor here of what is obviously a mine that the buyer was Vowrawn, because he once talked about having mines. I wonder if he knew who she was, what her connections were. At that time, at least. He certainly had things figured out long before the end. You know, I thought the mysterious buyer was initially Scourge? When Liaseph escapes from Ravage and flees to the Citadel, the Sith that picks her up does the whole twirls-tendril-ring thing which Scourge constantly does in The Foundation of All Desire. I was honestly surprised when it was later revealed to be Vowrawn, but as I said, in retrospect it should have been obvious. I wonder what he really got for pitting Ravage against Marr intentionally like that. Entertainment probably.

-Curious how Liatrix inherits this particular modification. She ahh…. shouldn’t have. It’s not how inheritance would work with a modification like that. Especially given how the two Arkanian surgeons are talking about her being not a breeder; they wouldn’t have bothered to edit the genetics of her eggs, which are already ready to go but dormant by birth. I blame Tulak Hord.

-Vilks is definitely skating on seriously thin ice right now.

-How did Marr know that this city in particular was the right one though?

-Clearly the Darkness enjoys a good, uncomplicated ruse!

 

 

 

Vigensimum et Secundum Caput

 

 

-A four story window? Wow.

-Are these descriptions of Zygerra from the Clone Wars, or invented? I never did watch the show so I’m curious. (I just couldn’t get past them bringing Darth Maul back. Like ok survive being bisected at the waist with hate, whatever… but the fall would have liquefied him on impact. No amount of hate can stop terminal velocity and a metal floor.)

-Force-sensitive slaves are not unheard of… but it generally requires a Force-sensitive master. The Empire knows how to go about this. The Zygerrans would have their **** ruined. I enjoy this little musing giving lie to what will happen quite soon.

-Marr has no time for a rich guy without refinement’s ****. (How many times can I say this lol!)

-I really, really, really love how Marr so casually lies to pit Borga against his men. I mean it backfires because of SOMEONE *cough* but it was all the more exceptionally clever for its subtlety and simplicity.

-Borga cannot handle a Jedi. As we will see; I’m utterly enthralled by the efficiency and depth of your writing, as always! Certainly against Marr, had Rylister and the Zanes not interfered he would have been a corpse anyway. A crispy one. I wonder what fried Zygerran tastes like? Probably as awful as they are in life.

-No Jedi has money? Rude. Not inaccurate I guess though…. Now I wonder how they pay for anything. Obviously as we see with Qui-gon Jinn in Episode I he has access to a bank account of some kind but who provides it? The Temple as a whole? The Jedi as an organization? How does it have money? Do the Jedi hold bake sale fundraisers?

-Tarro Blood comes by the gaping sphincter where his brain should be honestly it seems.

-“Reclamation service pukes” Typo?

-Aren’t all Sith wily?

-Oh, sup future Keeper? How’s that field op treating you? Speaking of which, I really quite enjoy the interaction between him and Marr over the course of much of this story, to the point where it seems like Keeper has a genuine sort of affection/camaraderie with Marr, even deleting Liaseph’s sadder journal entries to soften the blow. Also he’s almost always going to be referred to as “Keeper” in these review notes.

 

 

 

Vigensimum et Tertium Caput

 

 

-Of course the dagger is poisoned.

-Is it just me, or are overrides and lockdowns on computers in the Empire terribly easy to break with basic literacy?

-Interesting how the Force shows Marr things from the past that he never could have known.

-Well hidden. Clearly Vowrawn pays well for his things.

-I wonder why the other women hate Liaseph? Do they know that she’s on lease and isn’t a dancer as they are? Are they just awful?

-The genetic modifications work quickly and effectively. Insanely so. Literally.

-I don’t think this guy gets that he doesn’t have fifty-five million credits. Who really does?

-The droid has no time for this guy’s ****. Is it acquainted with Marr, perhaps?

-I quite enjoy Liaseph’s reaction. Sith in another life, indeed.

-Mediate what, I wonder.

-I really do wonder if Vowrawn didn’t know already exactly who Liaseph is. And for that matter, do this on purpose. But to what end?

-Cages are cages are cages. And not all are physical. And this one is sickeningly opulent. I mean really, TVs instead of windows? *retch* Much as its owner.

-Super obvious this is Ravage, but even were it not I knew she was leased to Ravage. I suspected Vowrawn for like ten seconds but then I remembered The Foundation of All Desire and how much of a table Ravage flips in the past when Marr explained to Liatrix the basics of how he and her mother met.

-Thirty seconds and Liaseph has had enough of Ravage’s ****. Roughly standard timeframe.

-And thus also begins ten chapters of near-constant r.ape and Stockholm syndrome. Ugh. Ugh!

 

 

 

Vigensimum et Quartum Caput

 

 

-I suppose the opening line is quite correct here. These chapters certainly make Liaseph hard.

-If you bicker with everyone, Ravage… maybe the problem is you. Or maybe I should have read slightly further because Liaseph literally says this to him.

-He’s pretty wrong here.

-This part annoys me. A) Ravage most likely wouldn’t know about this device, and B) even if he did know about why not just take the bloody thing instead of leaving it to rot in the Dark Temple?? No, it makes no sense for him to know about it before becoming a Dark Councillor. And if his master was on the Council why would that guy not just go and get it because only the Council is allowed into the Dark Temple anyway.

-OH AND C) Ravage is completely clueless on what the ravager device is designed to do. Its primary purpose isn’t suffering and a horrible death; that’s just a delicious side effect. Its primary purpose is interrogation and information gathering, in which Ravage learns nothing unless someone tells him. A stronger will than Liaseph’s would have simply died out of defiance and Ravage would know nothing. And then he’d look extra dumb. However, I can’t decide if she’s lying and said Rylister to hide the truth (Marr) or giving in to the pain. Probably both.

-“I have an aptitude for it” pfeh. It also doesn’t make any sense. If he can do this to anyone why doesn’t he just bring the whole damned council under his heel?

-Ravage doesn’t really have any redeeming qualities that make him a compelling villain. All the plotting/intrigue is done by the Zanes pretty much. He’s just emotionally and physically abusive and the longer he refuses to die the more irritated I become. Kind of like Arcann. (Am I bitter about KOTFE’s ending? Maybe a little. Or possibly a lot, since I still haven’t played it and can’t say for certain. I literally resubbed just to continue participating in the fan fiction section [more on that elsewhere], but I suppose I ought to play more as well. Vaguely disappointed that I will never get to complete the Dark vs. Light event though… I was so close… literally just Chapter XVI and like two hard-mode flashpoints left ) I’m allowed to not like everything about Marr, right?

-Except… the Emperor does kill everyone who defies him. And several others, just to make an example. And then probably someone else because it furthers his plans and/or provides a distraction from them.

-Speaking of defying the Emperor, more on this when we find out that Marr arranged the death of Ravage’s son.

-I do appreciate Vowrawn’s irreverence, as always.

-I don’t appreciate that he knows what he’s done.

-It delights me greatly that you write Marr as being behind the massive second-wave campaigns of the Empire. Bit weird that it’s him as he is in charge of the Sphere of Defense of the Empire (and we will see how well the rest of it goes for Vengean), but I guess strategic acumen is strategic acumen and the Emperor, for all his aloofness, is not an idiot.

-It’s fairly evident that Vowrawn’s distraction for Ravage is Liaseph. I lost my respect for Vowrawn somewhere around here. Does he get it back? You’ll just have to wait and see.

-As well as pity several people who do not actually know Vowrawn at all, right Marr?

-Well it’s quite too late for that, Marr… but I guess he doesn’t know that yet.

-Keeper has no time for anyone’s ****. Marr has no time for anyone’s ****. They’re like best buddies now! haha

-He’s probably not even Watcher Three but already secretly Zane. Can I hate this guy more than I did in The Foundation of All Desire? Challenge accepted.

 

 

 

Vigensimum et Quintum Caput

 

 

-It’s (surprisingly) not Vowrawn here. One of the few times Marr is incorrect. If it’s not directly Ravage, it’s certainly the Zanes… who are in his pocket.

-Vowrawn is also a slightly poor liar here – at least to the reader. I truly do think at one point he legitimately meant to join the Hand as an “in” to the Emperor to eventually depose him. Clearly it didn’t work out, though.

-Freedom is always an illusion. It’s a wonder Marr never realized this. Or perhaps he does.

-The Department of Destabilization sounds like Britain’s WWII-era Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare. Are you familiar with it? Sirs Ian Fleming (author of the James Bond original novels) and Christopher Lee were part of it, and in fact many of Fleming’s experiences during WWII were the inspiration for Bond and other characters. Their activities are still classified, in point of fact.

-Marr keeps his promises. I appreciate that.

-Where is Darth Jadus in all this? Although I suppose given that he’s 14 years younger than Marr he’s only like… 17 right now and thus unimportant. Modification: Where is the Councillor in charge of Imperial Intelligence in all this?

-Maybe I should just shut up and read because apparently it’s vacant.

-Rylister’s great flaw is that he is the master of making an *** of himself with preconceived notions of what is going on.

-Oh snaps! Betrayal! Probably. Definitely.

 

 

[Diviciacus]

Vigensimum et Sextum Caput

 

 

-So this sector name, is it supposed to be “perilous” backwards? If so, there’s a typo; you have “peirlous”

-Much like dealing with the Void in the now, Marr really only finds Liaseph when he stops looking for her. These two facts are not coincidental, are they.

-Liaseph sees right through Ravage, and I love it. She also plays him like a damned piano. A piano… of the damned.

-I wonder how much of this exchange is simply the pheromones and how much of it is her ability to play ignorant and/or feign interest.

-Darth Arctis. New? What? Hasn’t he been there forever? Was the character from chapters 11 and 12 supposed to be a different Darth of the same name?

-Ironically about the only thing Marr doesn’t destroy is himself. His humanity perhaps, but then he finds Liaseph again and begins to start gluing the pieces back together.

-I see you have Mortis on the Council by now, replacing Caliginus. Interestingly, there’s no information on how old he is. Curious omission on Bioware’s part.

-“I spent time with you now service me.” Disgusting.

-I truly did think this was Scourge for most of this. It was only the very end when it occurred to me it was Vowrawn. Fun fact: I was re-reading my review notes from the first couple of chapters and apparently when you first started writing this I predicted it would be Scourge who moves the pieces to push Liaseph and Marr together again. Apparently I was wrong. Twice.

-Minor typographical error: there’s a new paragraph beginning mid-sentence which I’m sure is unintentional.

-Poor Keeper… the bounty hunter was the real prize.

-The plot thickens! Dun dun dun!

 

 

 

Vigensimum et Septimum Caput

 

 

-I was going to say cue the Imperial March. But real talk, the Emperor’s theme song would probably be more accurately envisioned with the slow, low-pitch male chorus in ROTJ from the Emperor’s throne room.

-Water flowing like that just shouldn’t have been possible Also how did I miss this line the first time? It’s so great!

-The descriptions here are wonderfully awful and awfully wonderful!

-The Emperor is, while typically arrogant, unusually foolish in essentially giving away the gist of his plans for the galaxy to Marr.

-Good thing Marr’s bestie is here to change the mood!

-Orr… not. I can’t decide if I should be sympathetic or apathetic to Broysc for all his problems stemming from heavy spice addiction.

-This is actually really clever, pulling the info from the droid. Good job Keeper!

-Vowrawn is of particular annoyance. You have a done a wonderful job of Vowrawn’s characterization, motivations, and manipulations. This could easily have been titled “Fifty Shades of Vowrawn is a Smarmy Git”

-Looks like Vowrawn is mildly incorrect, however. The SIS spy(ies) who killed the Minister of Intelligence aren’t on the outside looking in. They’re in Ravage’s pocket. This was probably an independent effort, however.

-Admiral Vilks clearly didn’t learn from last time. It’s rather incongruous that Marr simply didn’t kill him this time.

 

 

 

Duodetricesimum Caput

 

 

-The wheels begin to turn in Keeper’s mind. Also I love how he just doesn’t seem to be concerned at all. He’s just like “So, the fire turned blue. Just another afternoon on Dromund Kaas.”

-Speaking freely is a dangerous road in the Empire. I enjoy, however, that Marr would rather underlings who speak their mind than grovel.

-Marr’s curving of Keeper’s curiosity here is so casual.

-So it’s a bit odd that Marr has Imperial saboteurs in the Balmorran Arms factory if Vowrawn shadow-puppets it. (And also in-game doesn’t someone say that it’s the only thing on Balmorra the Empire never managed to capture?)

-Eww colicoids.

-Ivernus…. Ivernus… where have I heard that name before? Ohh he dies on Balmorra in one of the class stories but I forget which.

-Pew pew pew! Reprogramming the guns reminds me of the Battle for Rishi flashpoint

-Are you saying here that Marr is capable of battle meditation?

-Isn’t Traken-4 where that area with all the broken stuff and toxic pools in the northeast of Balmorra is?

-Rude, so rude. Liaseph lies like a sidewalk though.

-Oh but it does come back to you Ravage. It all comes back to you.

-Vowrawn is doing… reverse Socratic method here. He already knows the answers but it’s like he’s trying to trick Ravage into revealing what he knows. Of course, if Ravage had any sense of being able to pay attention to things he would have noticed that Vowrawn let slip that Vowrawn knows, too.

-Vowrawn is also lying about why Marr killed them. He has to know damn well at this point.

-They do seem to fit don’t they, but Vowrawn is 250% leading Ravage astray. Why, I wonder. What is in it for him? This is the thing that has always confused me slightly about Vowrawn – I think I said this before – he plots all these things but largely derives seemingly nothing from them except pure entertainment value.

-This exchange over Life Day decorations is so odd because Ravage knows he’s leasing Liaseph. How does he not know that Vowrawn is her owner? It’s not like he makes a secret of owning the Nexus Room.

-YUSSSSS! It wouldn’t be Star Wars without…. star warring.

 

 

 

Undetricesimum Caput

 

 

-No rest for the wicked, I see!

-Eaten to death. Bad way to go.

-Oh now I remember. Ivernus is the Bounty Hunter target.

-I enjoy the irony of Marr considering Balmorra a success when the reality is that it becomes a mucky, godawful mess which the Empire never manages to actually conquer.

-Is it Satele again? She calls at the most inconvenient hours. But of course her vague presence also reminds me that, no, this isn’t Marr we’re seeing. This is Marr watching old home movies, as it were.

-The Force brings up a compelling point: our lives are dictated just as much by the actions we take… as it is by the actions of others to which we will never be privy.

-Not that I wear lipstick, but I don’t think I’d trust a droid to apply it properly if I did.

-As a point of editorial contention: “The silky tenor of a recently deceased tenor” sounds rather… odd.

-It is not love but lust that Ravage feels and of course we know why. Hinted at more in The Foundation of All Desire but that genetic modification is definitely working overtime right now.

-Given that Vowrawn actually owns Liaseph I don’t think Ravage could grant her freedom, even if he wanted to.

-Just a tiny bit of fear here from Liaseph. (Aside: the fact that I haven’t accidentally typo’d it as “Lisaseph” yet is utterly mind-blowing.)

-I can’t decide if it’s the pheromones or whether Ravage is actually just this bad at misdirection and secrets. Like… it must be the former or he would have been found out far sooner as we will see.

-As a personal quibble, is it just me or is a convertible which still has a shield to protect its occupants… kind of defeating the purpose of a convertible? Silly Dark Councillors

-Ahhhhh you and your droid names, lol! SH0-4. Chauffeur.

-This scene is actually really beautiful, and you know, as a Canadian living in the national capital region I am familiar with extravagant fireworks displays (especially this year!). I just love how each Councillor has their own colors, and the wonderful showmanship of the festivities!

-So I was thinking about this, and the whole Imperial planet-quest on Balmorra where the Republic drops in Thranta-class cruisers using a hyperspace beacon… the sudden air displacement of a ship suddenly coming out of hyperspace would cause massive damage.

-Blink and you’ll miss it!

-Uh oh. The droid from several chapters ago is correct. The action was easy, but the emotion may be coming in time.

-pfft. Liaseph isn’t Ravage’s priority either.

-hahaha Ravage. Joke’s on you. Your mind is not your own.

-Twenty cases of Alderaanian champagne is a lot. That’s like… 960 bottles if the Empire ships wine like we do on Earth.

-I find it curious that on xenophobic Dromund Kaas the live music in the Nexus Room is a Bith quartet.

-I was about to type “oh sup Keeper?” again before I remembered what happens next chapter or two, and that the guy watching her is in fact not him but yet another slimeball.

-With all the glee of a schoolyard bully do I read Ravage’s real name. And his surname, later.

-Hoo boy, giving her a snowglobe of home feels a tiny bit manipulative.

-I can’t help but wonder how much of Liaseph’s aggressiveness here is façade and how much is genuine. And it terrifies me either way.

 

 

 

Tricesimum caput

 

 

-Evil triumphs because good is dumb. Good triumphs because evil stabs itself in the back.

-Marr is in some ways a curious character. Always doing what needs to be done, not what he wants to do.

-Oh man, that spectacular debacle on Bothawui. The turning point in the war.

-I guess Azamin isn’t wrong in that Emperor wants devastation (“Words words words. The master wants murder!”), but he is also a fool.

-Sometimes… I think Marr is the tiniest bit too verbose in this story, given his taciturn nature in-game.

-That Dread Masters foreshadowing. Marr thinks everything is going according to plan, but nothing does. Not even them.

-ugh. Darmas Palloran. Ugh. Skee. Zy. I saw right through this little ruse immediately. Fun fact: I didn’t even notice the name was spelled incorrectly until Chapter 35.

-The grammar of the news report would suggest that it was Marr who was killed at Bothawui, wouldn’t it. Poor Liaseph. Or should I perhaps say… Juliet.

-It took me a long time here to realize what she was planning. I didn’t even realize she was trying to kill herself until Palloran caught her. Well played.

-Creeping. Creeping. Creeeeeping. Also pheromones but like… no excuse.

-Playing not one but three teams is a dangerous game, it is.

-Ravage is disgusting.

 

 

 

Tricesimum et Unum Caput

 

 

-“It is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.”

-These numbers always sounded incredibly nonsensical, even back in 2011 when I first watched the Galactic History Timeline videos. Of course, I don’t mean your writing, either; these are official numbers from Bioware. But 50,000 troops? You want to know how small an army that is? Total Allied troops landing on the beaches of Normandy on D-Day numbered 1.25 million, with another million and a half landing by the end of August. The Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union had an initial strength of nearly four million troops. Total military casualties of the Soviets alone on the eastern front were nearly SEVENTEEN MILLION dead or missing by 1945. An army of fifty thousand is literally nothing for a Class III civilization (one capable of harnessing power on the level of its host galaxy). A ground assault force attacking an entire planet should number in the hundreds of millions if not billions, with hundreds if not thousands of support ships. I actually wrote a post in a thread on this exact issue (and the OP asking about this exact battle) in July 2015. You can read it here. It took me two hours to find that post. >.>

-I do think the only flaw with the Emperor’s strategy was entrusting it to lesser men, though.

-I’m vaguely surprised Vengean and Azamin would have the humility to send out a distress call. Illo dicto, it also kind of explains how the Dark Council doesn’t seem to care when the SW kills him at the end of Chapter 2.

-Peltos. Reduced to rubble. Pelt. Heh

-Is Vengean’s flagship in reference to the battle of Salamis, where superior use of geography allowed a small Greek fleet to triumph over a much larger Persian one, much how Marr abuses the planetoid to destroy the Republic fleet?

-I love this! Space battles are the best! *pretends to fly a TIE fighter around* Speaking of which, have you seen the San Diego Comic-con reveal of Kylo Ren’s Starfighter from Episode VIII? OMG SO COOL! IT EVEN WILL BE A LEGO SET!!!

-The few paragraphs in which Marr’s ship takes down the Valor-class ship reminds me of First Contact, when Picard provides coordinates to the remaining Starfleet ships which appear to be a random part of the Borg Cube, but are in fact a vulnerability.

-This is some serious skill with the Force. But then, as I have mused before… is the Darkness really the Force… or is it something else?

-And here is where things begin to go right crazy. Marr will find Liaseph, amongst other things.

 

 

 

Tricesimum et Secundus Caput

 

 

-I’m going to say it now before I get too in-depth on this section, but this is just like the one scene from the Blood of the Empire TOR-prequel comic, isn’t it? Good gods, those prequel story comics are more than seven years old now.

-Aww man, I want a Terminus balloon! I enjoy the humanizing power you have here. The children have toy starships; vendors sell snacks; confetti, banners, and ribbons abound; cheering crowds and adoring fans!

-What might have been, and yet will be.

-Is… is Vowrawn literally Queen Elizabeth?!

-Aww, is Marr just a little embarrassed here?

-WHO KNOWS WHAT SURPRISES AWAIT INDEED, VOWRAWN. It’s all a trap of course and Marr finding Liaseph again is no more by chance than is the roll of a fixed die.

-“…those with power over the masses ruled the world and courted the envy of both lesser and more powerful men." This has always been, and always will be, true.

-I enjoy this subtle barb at Vorawn, because of course we find out that later, the gigantic statue on Dromund Kaas of which the construction incited a slave rebellion is of him.

-That is a long parade! More than two hours to make the trip!

-Genuinely curious what piece of music you’re thinking of here.

-This part is vaguely wicker-man-ish and it’s kind of terrifying.

-I feel like Ravage’s only emotions are lust and petty contempt. And also butthurt I guess.

-Zellos is yet another name I definitely went to Wookieepedia for. And now we know why he drops out of Republic intel. Hard to be a Moff when you’ve been baked at 350° for four hours.

-I feel like Marr could have definitely done a bit more than what he did for speech and still throw shade at Vengean and Azamin. Who is being petty, now?

-Vowrawn knows. He knows he knows.

-Did Vowrawn calculate on Ravage being butthurt to make sure Marr came along? Or was it pure serendipity?

-ahahaaha like Ravage gets to talk about hubris.

-He also wears his plotting on his sleeve, which is very interesting. One would have thought someone would have connected him to the Zanes long before now. But no, only that he seeks to keep Liaseph because if he continues to r.ape her, he gets to continue to pretend she’s Marr.

-I’m actually kind of surprised that Imperial law would allow the open use of spice in this club. Not even Vowrawn’s considerable wealth puts him above Imperial law and Darth Mortis if someone notices what’s going on.

-Smoke and fire? Are you familiar with the Dread Master Styrak encounter?

-Why does no one ever have male servants? Have you ever noticed this? Like it doesn’t matter what IP or media or anything.

-That Marr, always ignoring Vowrawn in favor of a woman! (I remember Chapter 9 )

-Too many damn people is generally my thought on crowds too.

-I’m not really understanding the people being annoyed at what Marr is doing. There are like… 11 total people in the Empire that get to complain about a Dark Councillor and none of these people are on that list.

-Interesting how she’s working a serving girl. More on this in a couple of bullet points.

-Brown is the most common hair color. Marr isn’t being terribly specific here, so the staff confusion makes total sense: “WHERE IS THE BRUNETTE?” “uhh… which one…? There’s like 80 on staff…”

-At least Marr catches up with her, but woops on spilling the tray. Certainly subtle foreshadowing for all of the problems that Liaseph and Marr have. They never do quite ever see eye to eye again.

-The slave collar is an interesting imminent foreshadowing. I mentioned this a couple of bullet points ago, but it’s so very curious. There obviously wasn’t time for her to have been tossed aside by Ravage when he disappeared as they arrived and then her to be suited up and made to serve. This is clearly something that had to have happened well before because she’s been integrated into the waitstaff and had I to guess I would say somewhere around just after that rapey little episode from the end of Chapter 30.

-I don’t think I’m feeling the dress though. Brown? Truly?

-She obviously recognizes him immediately but I wonder why she feigns not?

-Genuinely curious why he didn’t just kill the manager. Well within his right and without a doubt there would be someone else there who knows who the owner is.

-I really don’t get why security is called here. Marr is a Dark Councillor, he can essentially do whatever he wants. He could literally kill everyone in the building and the only person who could do anything about it is Vowrawn. Not that he actually could, as we will see.

-Well played, not saying how she shook her head.

-Vowrawn doesn’t get a chance to explain himself here but of course does he really deserve to? He knew and did nothing!

-Vowrawn is clearly afraid enough to not be thinking clearly because telling Marr he gave her to Ravage was profoundly stupid; had Liaseph not intervened, Vowrawn would be naught but a smoking puddle of ruin.

-She also seems vaguely broken here. As though she may have been tortured. She’s achingly timid and nothing even close to her usual self.

-And of course, in the very moment of the exultation of Marr’s greatest military triumph you juxtapose it with the hollow, Pyrrhic victory of finding Liaseph again.

 

 

 

Tricesimum et Tertium Caput

 

 

-I think this chapter is the first time I can’t connect the opening line with what happens in the chapter. If memory serves it is not the last. (And the Huttese one doesn’t count after I googled it.)

-I find it very interesting that this is the same as the ending of the previous chapter. Although in the first person as Marr, that was written from Liaseph’s perspective and now it is from Marr’s. Expertly constructed!

-I find it curious what Vowrawn has been up to that he is in reality so withered. Purebloods are remarkably resilient to the corruption of the Dark Side and yet for Vowrawn to look like this is… unsettling.

-Poor Liaseph, she has no reckoning of the depths of the darkness.

-And an unhealthy concern for Vowrawn. What happens which were are never told?

-Her childish gesture is rather incongruous given her mannerisms otherwise. Or perhaps not. She acts precisely as an abused child. What did Vowrawn do to her? What did Ravage.

-“Solar” is a bit of a curious adjective here since they are not in the Sol system But I suppose at the same time there are no other useful/valid options. It’s like “fiancée.” There are just no synonyms for it!

-More curious is how the droid speaks with Liaseph and not Marr.

-Again, a mention that the Darkness is not the Force. What then might it be?

-At least Liaseph is warming herself up to him again.

-A curious notion, that: “perhaps we were each holding onto the best of the other to keep it from slipping away.”

-What an odd place for a tender moment… in Vowrawn’s office. Of course, everything else about their relationship is odd so why not this?

-That foreshadowing. Narrowly escaping a catastrophe? If only. If only.

-Interesting that although Vowrawn is well aware what her physiological modifications are capable of, he still falls prey.

-Marr doesn’t want to consider it and frankly neither do I. But someone has to.

-Covering his bases by mentioning Ravage, and Vowrawn’s response is so simple but the subtext is quite obvious. I love it!

-To be honest I don’t think summoning Broysc will help. He’s so stuck on spice that he probably doesn’t remember his own name.

-What I find most telling here is that Liaseph uses language which neither confirms nor denies a singular person. And in consideration, after having been abandoned by Ravage she would have been… put to work.

-Liaseph is nonetheless astute here. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, as the saying goes.

-She never does regain her strength of character and it is the real tragedy of this story. The loss of innocence does not phase me, but it is the loss of will which hurts so much.

-Vowrawn, despite having just nearly died, clearly is experienced enough at playing the game that he thinks he can push pieces at Marr without being struck down.

-Or more correctly – and I suppose I understand the opening line now – it is that Vowrawn knows now that he can play into Liaseph’s concerns as they will become Marr’s also because she is his concern.

-Going to Korriban will indeed destroy Rylister. Heh.

-No indeed I would not discuss anywhere near there either. But Vowrawn probably has high spies in places so it’s always a question of what good it will do.

-ugh. Ravage. Ugh. Of course, certain things hit the fan in quite a spectacular way in just a moment here.

 

 

 

Tricesimum et Quartum Caput

 

 

-Liaseph’s little totally-not-an-expletive always makes me giggle; it’s like she’s trying to be just so fierce, like a puppy barking. (And there goes like an hour as I watch youtube vids of puppies barking…)

-That foreshadowing, though. Barely comes back, indeed.

-I would say he no longer has any sort of actual claim to control anymore but at the same time as Dark Councillor that doesn’t matter. She’s not even Sith.

-Would… they actually call it a car? Not critiquing your writing as much as legitimately wondering. Is “car” actually in the vocabulary of Star Wars? Like magnetic rail lines are a thing but are they “train cars” – and if so, what would the etymology be given that there is no “carriage” to backform it from?

-I can’t help but wonder what the legal implications are of this. Is Marr allowed to just free a slave? If so, what happens if that slave’s owner isn’t his social/political lesser? What if he had bought her first before freeing her? But I mean Ravage only had a lease so he can just go and shove his head up his own *** for all I care.

-I enjoy this duel! The Darkness sees. It wants it knows. Doors once opened never close.

-That reference to the opening scenes of Episode III, though.

-Marr spares Vowrawn and now Vowrawn must spare Marr. Poetic, but also shattering that little oath of Marr’s from before.

-It is said that Darth Vader lost much of his connection to the Force when he lost most of his limbs and I love the absolutely delicious way you describe how the same thing happens with Marr’s artificial organs.

-Oh hi Satele! I mean I predicted it was Satele the first time the voice shows up – even though I completely forgot Liatrix killed her until Marr points it out later. But here is where it becomes obvious.

-She quite is afraid here to lose him and in fact that is what happens but not in the way she would expect.

-Speaking of which, writing just now it occurred to me that so many of your female characters have names which start with L. Liatrix. Liaseph. Lilin. Lish. A… Litany, if you will. I am not sorry for that pun.

-I see Liaseph also has no time for Vowrawn’s ****.

-You know it just occurred to me here with the way in which Liaseph asks if Intelligence knows anything that perhaps her wheedling questions to Ravage were secretly a ploy to learn more about the workings of the Empire. In another life she’d have made quite the spy.

-Why would Ravage help. It’s not his Sphere; it should be Mortis or whoever is the head of Imperial Intelligence. No, he does it to deflect scrutiny.

-Why would Ravage torture a minion? I guess he could because he’s awful, but at the same time it makes no sense. In point of fact we see that it is truly Watcher Three playing at Keeper, so I can’t help but wonder if it was never Zane who was captured at all.

-Vowrawn knows what she’s accidentally capable of and yet completely seems oblivious to that knowledge. Yet again.

-Poor Marr just kind of sleep paralyzed here.

-Yay! Happy ending! … of a single chapter… damn it. *cries*

 

 

 

Tricesimum et Quintum Caput

 

 

-And Marr and Liatrix never really are honest with each other… or themselves. I am reminded of a quote from George R. R. Martin that I’m sure I am misquoting, but it was about the importance of narrator and how every narrator is fallible in the Song of Ice and Fire series: “All men lie. To their enemies, to their families. They even lie to themselves.”

-The spiderweb imagery is not lost on me. The last time we saw it the Emperor had come calling and in time he will again.

-Marr has forgotten what it is for which he fights.

-One would have thought that both of them would have long ago learned that uncomfortable truths must simply be confronted – sooner, rather than later, before they fester and rot.

-“Did you torture them?” “I did what was necessary.” heh

-For the record I guess… propositioning is not usual part and parcel in the Empire but Liaseph’s view perhaps even moreso than that of a Jedi is… tilted from the reality of things. At the same time, however, she has a curious accuracy to her view that only someone on the outside looking in has. Oh I mentioned this before, didn’t I?

-And yet the hypocrisy of compulsory military service or attendance to the Sith Academy in complaining that the Empire is a miserable joyless place when she grew up as minor nobility on Alderaan.

-Marr here, though. Marr is a slave to his fear. Not his fear of being an absentee father. All men lie to themselves. No Marr is a slave to the fear that what befell his parents, what befell his adoptive parents will come again. That the wheel will turn. Marr is a slave to what-ifs and then-whats and for all the freedom of being Sith he has granted himself none.

-I find it a curious juxtaposition that under the heel of Ravage that Liaseph finds more for there to be joyful for than free with Marr.

-There’s a certain irony to Liasph nigh on begging for children here and yet does nothing but come to resent her daughter until it is too late.

-Oh sup Spindrall? I knew it was him right away haha. I enjoy correctly predicting things because I manage it so rarely with your stories

-Careless and stupid? Rylister? No way!

-Liaseph does try, for all the good it will do.

-Woot! House! Probably no white picket fence here, though.

-Presence eh? *cough* Tulak Hord *cough*

 

 

 

Tricesimum et Sextum Caput

 

 

- Hord is clearly not a happy camper for having been outplayed so many years ago, I see.

-If Marr will not go to the tomb of Tulak Hord, Tulak Hord will bring the tomb to him.

-The bargain must be kept. The link must be forged.

-Good old Marr pragmatism. Nothing is perfect, at least in the modern sense.

-Of course, he’s correct. Even if she knew, Liaseph would be utterly outclassed by the shade of Tulak Hord.

-The garden here quite reminds me of those at Versailles. Coincidence?

-That ginx. Poor ginx.

-wowow *fans self* This is probably still Tulak Hord’s fault though!

-Oh hi Keeper!

-A metal projectile also wouldn’t be deflected by a lightsaber. Pew pew!

-eww Star Cabal. Eww I wonder if Zane knew or if he was but the puppet.

-Of course Ravage learns nothing useful; either he is doing it wrong accidentally through arrogance or doing it wrong intentionally through misdirection.

-Or that thought I had earlier, which is that the Empire never, ever did torture the real Zane.

-Curious that Darmus Palloran does indeed relay the message to Keeper, who simply disregards it as unimportant. I suspect that most likely it was only because Ravage threw him off the roof.

-I believe capturing the Dread Masters was the beginning of the end for Jaric Kaedan. His militant obstinacy during the Knight and Consular storylines causes nothing but problems and in the end he is put down with neither trouble nor fanfare on Ilum by Imperial characters. And had I to guess pride and arrogance at outwitting the Dread Masters are the fount of it all.

-I admit I know very little about Ngani Zho beyond his links to Satele and later Theron Shan. But no indeed he was apparently a very busy Jedi!

-I still have yet to understand how Malgus survived Satele dropping a mountain on his head.

 

 

 

Tricesimum et Septimum caput

 

 

-The opening line here is quite transparent of course

-Trio of maintenance droids. pfeh. I wonder why Marr didn’t sense something was afoot.

-I absolutely adore the subtlety with which you plainly lay out the path of the break-in and escape as though it is simply maintenance in a semi-secret and certainly not all that well cleaned detention block.

-Keeper is so jaded lol! (heh, Jaded. Jadus.) “Oh, torture? Just another afternoon on Dromund Kaas.”

-The interesting thing here is, as I said, how you literally describe everything that happened before anyone realizes what’s going on – and Marr’s reaction to it. Including the trail of blood from having actual-Keeper’s tongue cut out. Many of Marr’s problems stem from his curious inability to shift between perception and understanding. Either he sees everything but doesn’t understand what’s going on – or he sees nothing and knows exactly what is happening. Were he better able to shift between one and the other many problems could have been avoided.

-Ahh, Praxon speeders are just so wonderful!

-I think the most sickening part of this cowardly bombing (beyond its foreshadowing) is that the Zanes fire off a blaster just to draw in more casualties.

-I can’t help but wonder here how much of the injuries Keeper is afflicted with are because Marr must weigh a lot in that armor and kind of squished him.

-Two dozen survivors out of what? Hundreds who work in the spaceport? >:|

 

 

 

Duodequadragesimum caput

 

 

-At first I was like “what in the Seven Bleeding Summits of Mount Erebus is this?? But then I googled it and of course it’s Huttese and means “there will be no bargain.” And as soon as I knew the English translation, for the rest of the evening when I originally read this all I heard was Jabba the Hutt saying this over and over again. Thanks…

-More spiderwebs. The Emperor comes calling.

-You know I wonder if the D-5 wasn’t a ruse. What if they shot the bounty hunter and set the autopilot, but never left Dromund Kaas?

-Pawns are always the most surprising, aren’t they?

-I also wonder what would have happened had Marr confronted Ravage immediately. Find out the truth? Find out nothing? Kill Ravage (please)? But events transpire and he never gets the chance until it is far too late.

-I’m disappointed that Marr kind of pawns about Liaseph in the way he does. I can’t decide if that’s worse than the other things she’s been subjected to or not. And whether he likes it or not he’s slowly becoming more and more like Vowrawn.

-I wonder if the snowglobe ever does go away.

-Tender moments like these make the arguing all the more heartbreaking.

-Fun fact about Korriban: Did you know it was Tulak Hord who constructed most of the Valley of the Dark Lords and that later Dark Lords of the Sith merely coopted the existing buried edifices to be used as their tombs?

-What I enjoy the most about this story is that it fills in so much we would never otherwise know.

-Interesting how twenty-five years from now, people will forget that Spindrall is a Lord.

-Heh, Rylister was always abrasive, wasn’t he?

-I’m vaguely disappointed that Liaseph didn’t just deck him, but that would be unladylike

-I see that Rylister is utterly unable to see the difference between war and murder. Even if the lines are generally blurrier in Star Wars than there are here.

-Liaseph is also not wrong. If the zanes gave a **** they would have rescued Rylister but they don’t because they’re both awful.

-“I don’t want to be free, I just want to bang you” We see Rylister’s true colors. I enjoy the fact that this entire scene is essentially Spindrall and Marr spying on the conversation. Never describing Rylister makes his fall from grace all the more pathetic. He’s not even worth our time to visualize as readers.

-I feel like the exchange between Spindrall and Marr at the end would have been so much more delicious if the former hadn’t had to ask what Marr meant. If he had just understood right away. Clean. Efficient. Merciless.

 

 

 

Undequadragesimum Caput

 

 

-The opening line is made all the more striking because patience is something Ravage doesn’t otherwise have except when it comes to trying to get under Marr’s skin. And for a guy so stuck on himself who at multiple points tells Liaseph that he gives precisely zero ****s about his family, he gets weirdly table-flippy over the death of one of his children.

-“The drink was a toast to victory and an unspoken eulogy in one.” Marr certainly tried at every opportunity to have respect for Rylister but there was just nothing there to be respected.

-The Darkness constantly tries to feed at even the slightest weakness.

-Liaseph is falling apart even before she hears the news and it is heartbreaking. I feel so bad for her; everything she knows is just disintegrating.

-Ur…Ur….Ur… where have I heard that name before? Oh yes a guy who was buried alive in the Dark Temple for defying the Emperor. And Ravage’s son means that Ravage is named Phineas Ur. No wonder his eventual death is so humiliating. His very name exists merely to be beaten by other Sith. I have been waiting fifteen chapters to point this out. I can play the long game too, Vowrawn.

-Also I am vaguely aware of the Biblical reference of Ravage’s son’s first name, but not as well as I should like.

-Marr is correct if callous. He gave Rylister many chances and Rylister threw many chances back in Marr’s face. Of course neither correct nor callous are particularly useful states to be when one’s SO is distraught in this way.

-What kind of kitchen misadventures has Marr had that he knows what “broken eggs on glass” even looks like?

-So much heartbreak in this chapter, and many others. Marr is disintegrating as a man and I think to some degree Liaseph notices.

-It’s amusing because it literally is just random chance that Satele isn’t picking up her calls right now. And also telling, because Satele-Satele refuses to engage in a battle of wills with Marr-Marr.

-Marr is a man of his word.

-And the Zanes – at least one of them – are already back on Dromund Kaas, as we know from The Foundation of All Desire.

-Minder Xesh is a liar and a fraud and I can’t find any reference so you invented him?

-Marr is quite right that things change here. It is the beginning of the end, both literally and figuratively as the story progresses into its last fifth.

 

 

[Diviciacus]

Quadragesimum Caput

 

 

-Discipline? Perhaps foolishness. Executing an order one knows is wrong is not discipline but fear. Fear of death. Fear of commanding officers. Fear. Fear. Fear. Not discipline. Never discipline. “I was following orders!” Saved no Nazi from the gallows at Nuremburg.

-I think Marr’s problem is that he sees home life as a duty – something that he must do, that is expected of him. Not as something that he wants to do, even if he does. Liaseph is in a cage of Sith ideology. Marr is in a cage of his own.

-I’m also genuinely curious how much musical knowledge you have considering that the use of “fugue” here does not just make things sound ominous but also fits structurally and thematically. A fugue is piece with two or more voices based on a single theme – that is, the same theme played several times with variations – composed contrapuntally; ie. responding to each other musically. (I only actually know this because my girlfriend is a music teacher.) With Marr considering duty to the empire, duty to the home, duty to the Emperor – the use of fugue feels like no accident at all.

-The Emperor expects you to succeed Marr to get Ngani Zho – and by extension – Theron Shan off Belsavis so that his influence will put Liatrix on the path to Zakuul. The Emperor requires his vessel to be made ready.

-This little episode with Marr meeting the Emperor provides an interesting counterpoint to his defiance at the end of Chapter I of KOTFE.

-Hmm hmm hmm, nine months, eh? Obviously not a random time span. I wonder, does the Emperor consider Tulak Hord in his calculations?

-Most of this little recollection goes over my head because I have not played KOTET, but I know enough about what I don’t know to understand what Marr is seeing. But not to analyze it properly.

-Oh hi Scourge. Been a while, eh?

-Fulgurite is such a wonderful touch. I wonder did any other readers notice? But the skill of the craftsman to have hollowed it out to so thin as to be transparent is spectacular.

-This contingency plan is so spectacularly subtle, of course. The Emperor doesn’t want Marr returning in another life to unite the galaxy against him if killed. And Marr has no desire to be immortal so he doesn’t even notice or care that the Emperor is specifically preventing just that.

-I rather enjoy your nod to how the Dread Masters operate after being freed.

 

 

 

Quadragesimum et Unum Caput

 

 

-Belsavis is such a beautiful world… it’s too bad the Republic had to ruin it with a prison.

-For that matter I wonder how the Republic stumbled across it. They had to have known of it before the Sith Empire returned because it doesn’t make sense for them to build a gigantic, hemisphere-spanning prison while the Empire has them on the ropes for years straight. I’m pretty sure someone comments that there are second and third generation prisoners, as well. But how did they find it I wonder.

-But with Marr (the story not the person) we know how the Empire found out about it.

-What might have been… do you not agree, child-archaeologist-Marr?

-Madness will reign! Terror and pain! Woes without end, where they extend! Not that The Dread Masters are really the Great Old Ones. Or are they? That is not dead which can eternal lie… and the Dread Masters are centuries old.

-Marr is just not getting much sleep here.

-I absolutely enjoy the descriptors of the Dread Masters coming to Marr in visions! Dread Fortress and Dread Palace are both easily in my top five raids/operations in any MMO I’ve played and Nightmare (Master now, I think they call it?) Dread Council is one of the hardest fights I’ve ever done in any game.

-“A future born of a wrath so fierce. . .” Is this just a little bit of a hint as to a future story? *puppydog eyes* Speaking of puppy dogs, one of my dogs is only 5 lbs, but she acts so tough and… I just cannot take “fierce” as a word seriously because that’s what I tell her. “aww you’re so fierce!” I’m sorry

-I also enjoy that you write each Master as embodying a deadly sin. Wrath. Pride. Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Envy. Who is sloth, I wonder?

-Of course the Dread Masters’ blood in Marr’s body recognizes that he means to kill them.

-Marr’s conviction here is insane. Multiple blisters bursting? His pain must be incredible!

- They dream. They fight. They know.

-I wonder if had he killed them that he would have died also? He is linked. Perhaps Zho sensed it. And stopped him. It is not yet his reckoning hour.

-That’s a bit rude, calling Theron an empty vessel.

-Does the Galaxy know about Voss yet? I don’t think it does this early; or the Emperor would appear as a Voss wouldn’t he?

-Yes but alive is what the Emperor wants, Marr. He’s fine with that.

-I wonder what is this other way of which Marr speaks?

 

 

 

Quadragesimum et Secondum Caput

 

 

-What are allies indeed.

-Oh gross burnt porridge is literally the worst.

-Probably a good thing Theron is not Marr’s child or Marr would be a terrible parent.

-Wowowow that’s harsh, Marr.

-Although I suppose Marr isn’t an awful parent when it comes down to it.

-The foreshadowing here is pretty soul-crushing because you do indeed later show the day Theron is forced to leave Tython. And that Liatrix knew him and forgot.

-The Force does find Theron, but not in the way either man expects.

-The Jedi lies like a sidewalk and Marr falls for it hook, line, and sinker. And it amuses me. If Marr knew the truth of the child’s parentage, I wonder what he would have done.

-I can’t decide if you made up his name or not but this Voss is of course the future Voice as you later reveal and in some ways that spells doom for Marr. For what the Voice knows the Emperor knows. And the Emperor will know about the crystals.

-Fast chapter but sometimes that is nice

 

 

 

Quadragesimum et Tertium Caput

 

 

-The opening line is such an interesting theme, isn’t it? Have you heard of Franz Stigler or the Battle for Castle Itter?

-This is yet another fugue-y moment in Marr. Very well crafted.

-This is a very curious take on Battle Meditation – one that I think does not make sense given the nature of it. If you had to already believe you would win for the Battle Meditation to work it wouldn’t be able to turn a tide; only make an already sure victory absolute.

-“There is no death, there is only the Force.” I find it ironic how Marr sees this here yet refuses to see it. I spoke of this odd duality in Marr earlier and it has popped up once again.

-I enjoy that you made the auras of the Masters match their saber colors. I enjoyed less the number of times I’ve had characters with those same sabers sticking out of backs, chests, and/or faces.

-I’m not terribly certain I like the vague backstory you’ve crafted for Calphayus though. The dialogue where you find out that he was married doesn’t really suggest he murdered her, but that he joined the masters and simply outlived her. The Masters are centuries old, after all. (You have to be playing a Republic character and clear the Dread Palace raid; for some weird reason Imperials don’t get the extra cutscene and dialogue.)

-Brontes is my second favorite boss fight in any game (the first is Quadraxis from Metroid Prime 2). Her dialogue and VA are stunning, the fights mechanics are beautifully designed and obnoxiously difficult on Nightmare. The way eight people have to dance in perfect synchronicity is utterly a feat, and my fallen Sentinel proudly carries on the torch of the Dread masters, Brontes’ own wings stolen. But perhaps Marr should have considered… seduction.

-A most curious thing here is that it is not the Darkness which grows in strength as each Master is contained… but the light.

-Hahaha, so Marr does fear Death. Not in battle but in bed. A whimper as the world ends.

-But as we know from The Lost Suns comic that Ngani Zho’s fears never come to pass. But at the same time I can’t help but wonder how much of his self-sacrifice is driven by this fear?

-“Not yet” Not…. ever *cries* Zho is 100% correct, however.

 

 

 

Quadragesimum et Quartum Caput

 

 

-I always thought Voss was a very pretty world. Plus, they have tea so like… I’m sold.

-Joke’s on you, Marr: The Gormak are the Voss and the Voss are the Gormak.

-I’m also disappointed that Marr doesn’t really understand the nature of the Voss. He understands their rigid, militaristic culture but… There is no Darkness. No Light. Only Voss.

-Damn it Marr just drink the damn tea. It’s not even on your credits!

-It amuses me that Marr is forced to use the very amulet which later will be the key to freeing the Emperor from Voss. Although I wonder how it came to be possessed by Zho.

-Marr seems oblivious to the fact that the Darkness here is little different from the Darkness within himself. Is Sel-makor the Darkness made sentient? Did Tulak Hord know? Did Tulak Hord go to Voss?!

-This golden world the Voss can retreat to always drove me crazy! It’s so bright it hurts my eyes in-game.

-Oh hey Mala-Ro is talking about Baras.

-Now this is interesting. It sounds like Mala-Ro is saying that the Knight story in which Sel-Makor is undone by the sacrifice of that Voss commando whose name I forget… allows the Wrath to even get into the depths of the Dark Heart and slay the Emperor’s true Voice. And for that matter, that the Emperor is lured to Voss with the promise of the crystals… which Baras of all people somehow finds out about.

-Marr also doesn’t get the hint at all, because the Knight is Liatrix and of course is Marr’s daughter.

 

 

 

Quadragesimum et Quintum Caput

 

 

-Of course we see the opening line begin to unravel the mysteries because here Liatrix is introduced to the galaxy.

-And we get the origin of seeing Marr unmasked drives lesser men insane. So wonderfully crafted and so wonderfully integrated into existing lore – as are all your tales!

-The plot thickens. The Emperor desires counsel with Marr. He gets it. Later.

-I wonder how much strife could have been avoided if Marr would have just called home once in a while. It’s not like he couldn’t.

-Always three weeks. Marr and Liaseph’s lost first child was three weeks old when Marr learned of it as well.

-Poor Liaseph already hates her child. I wonder if – somewhere – deep within Liatrix’ heart she knew her birth mother never liked her. I wonder what that did to her.

-Marr has clearly warmed up to her instantly. Marr, who thought his humanity was gone. All men lie to themselves, I might have mentioned once before.

-A very touching moment, holding tiny Liatrix in his arms and he sheds tears. If I recall, does he not also shed a tear when they embrace on Yavin?

-Too soon it comes too soon I feel the deathknell of Operation Cornerstone.

 

 

 

Quadragesimum et Sextum Caput

 

 

-Not so close, but blinded by his self-preconceptions.

-This is precisely the wrong attitude to go into a discussion with a depressed person. Thankfully her deterioration is enough to bring out his caring side.

-Liaseph is not wrong. I mean he would not have been able to return home but they could have at least shared in the joy. Instead mistakes were made on all sides and now bitterness has festered and rotted at the heart of their relationship.

-This discussion of Marr’s countenance kind of reminds me a little of the ending of the Deadpool film.

-It’s almost as if at some instinctual level Liaseph is railing against Hord’s influence.

-Marr doesn’t give himself enough credit. He’s… honestly he acts kind of like someone with really, really, poor self-esteem.

-It amuses me that Liaseph also accidentally outplayed Tulak Hord because the one thing she wants for her daughter is the one thing he will never grant. That he can’t grant, because it would mean his end. The dead man fears Death. How ironic.

-It also occurs to me that Liaseph has exactly zero hand in her own destiny. Everything that happens to her is not her doing but that of someone else. May I ask why you made that choice? Or did you consciously make it at all?

-And thus always is the relationship between Marr and Liaseph, until the end. My heart aches for the resolution that will never come. The reconciliation that is impossible.

-hahaha, literal table-flip. I love it!

-Marr has negative time for Tulak Hord’s ****.

-Always spider imagery for the Emperor, I’ve noticed.

-I genuinely wonder if Marr misleading the Emperor is what allowed the Dread Masters to do what they eventually do in the first place.

-It also amuses me that nothing Marr tells the Emperor is technically a lie.

-Of course Marr doesn’t understand that Scourge has been plotting against the Emperor for centuries at this point.

-Scourge being the one to explain to Marr both what he already knows and also be the one to talk about Liatrix is highly amusing. I enjoy the skill with which you draw your bow across the strings of Star Wars.

-That “conspiratorial weight” is Scourge knowing everything already and preparing to accelerate his plans.

-The irony in Marr already having found the threat but not knowing is delicious. As with many things in this story, Marr sees but does not understand or understands but does not see.

-ugh. SIS. ugh. The end is nigh and I hate it, railing against inevitability.

-*Cue The Imperial March, but it’s from a nursery music box*

 

 

 

Qoadragesimum et Septimum Caput

 

 

-On the opening line: Ravage should have called himself Vengean But also Marr, whom Death herself cannot stop.

-The twi’lek sickens me. Why waste so much time? Why not plant the charges now? Why wait four years?!

-Prophecies, as always Marr… come true in the ways we did not expect.

-I’m glad at least that things are becoming normal and that somewhere around here is perhaps where the final entry in Liaseph’s journal was written.

-I truly wonder how they got to Corellia though. The world is a Republic core world at this point and won’t be invaded until 3641 BBY – roughly sixteen to eighteen years from now.

-And Marr is over Ziost when the coward twi’lek strikes.

-Not this night. No… No! NO!

-Marr finally finds out who the mysterious voice is. He’s a bit slow to some games, isn’t he? And in a way which I am sure grates upon him to no end is the fact that the entire time she has been quite right.

 

 

 

Antepenultimum Caput

 

 

-Satele is quite right. Marr needs to learn that his life never had balance. Only in balance can something move forward.

-Not this…. Not this…

-Umm, trees wouldn’t topple in every direction, but concentrically away from the epicenter of the blast.

-Even the ginx! Why

-I’m vaguely disappointed from a narrative perspective that tiny-Liatrix survives because of Tulak Hord. But I am also not surprised from a narrative perspective. I do love the description in the paragraph though!

-Aruna Var is weak. With neither the conviction to shoot her target nor herself in failure. Only able to use the coward’s weapon – a bomb. Pathetic.

-She’s also an utter idiot because they were after Marr, so maybe she should have *********** checked to make sure he would was home.

-If only the galaxy could have rid itself of both Zanes at once.

-There’s never more time. It’s also something I’ve noticed amongst characters in your stories; they always push back and shy away from romantic feelings/interests because there’s “always more time.” But there never is.

-Marr is… I suspect it is the Force providing for him now that he is acting like the husband he never would be. His spirit stays at Liaseph’s side and so the answers come to him.

-Ravage. Death. DEATH!.

 

 

 

Penultimum Caput

 

 

-Keeper always did have that calculating coldness that made him such a compelling character. I can certainly see how lesser men might fear him as a Sith; he’s certainly a better Sith than most Sith are.

-These entries are rather painful to read, but that is their point. Share in the pain. See into the soul that wrote them.

-Liaseph was so isolated, felt so isolated. It’s in some ways the tiniest bit surprising she didn’t try to commit suicide a second time. Everything reads as massively depressed.

-I enjoy the little bit of Liaseph’s upbringing showing in that she calls the various Sith “Master” and not “Lord.”

-Are the names of the months and I’m guessing days from Star Wars? Did you create them? Edit: I accidentally found the entry on the Tapani Calendar on Wookieepedia while looking for something else.

-I have said this before, but again… in another life, Liaseph would have made a fine Imperial.

-I can’t decide if it was kindness or not which saw Keeper delete the entries.

-At the very end, it actually kind of seems like Satele is trying to tell Marr that cannot change the past… but he can influence the present. There’s just too much emphasis. And of course she’s been watching presumably the entire time and I feel like she would shed no tears if the Empire lost another Councillor. Like she’s secretly giving Marr the OK to go ruin Ravage.

 

 

 

Ultimum Caput

 

 

-This is the end. My only friend – the end.

-The opening line is very telling.

-In the end, Vowrawn tries to not be all bad. To Liaseph indeed was he a friend, though they hardly spoke. This here is where Vowrawn regained my respect; that he came to the funeral. He didn’t need to and he certainly didn’t have to and yet he did because somewhere in the endless churn of schemes that is his mind, a little corner has a little note that says that Marr and Liaseph are his friends.

-And Keeper is now actually Keeper. Sorry for the confusion of constantly referring to him as such when he was not yet. To me he will always be Keeper.

-Satele brings up a very compelling point. Everything Marr has every truly done he has done without the Darkness. Even Taxon was weakening. The Darkness made an example of him, but Marr would still have walked away victorious. When has he used it, even? To torture Vowrawn, to execute failed underlings. The duel with Ravage? Nothing of the Darkness. The military victories? The Darkness added only insult to injury and they were assured before it was ever unshackled. Everything Marr has done is by his own device.

-This little interlude of Marr seeing Liatrix as a very young child on Tython is very bittersweet. He gets to see years he missed but in the end there is nothing for him. Or for her. Or for Theron; and I cannot help but question why she does not remember him.

-I love Vowrawn’s comment here! “Leave it to you to suck all the joy out of the afterlife.”

-I also love how Vowrawn just starts giggling maniacally when Ravage says Marr can’t hurt him.

-I love when you set the ending here. Less than a year before KOTFE chapter 3 – which is to say that you have provided that all currently existing Dark Councillors survive nearly the whole five years.

-I’m kind of with Mortis here. Was it necessary.

-At least in Death Marr finally admits Vowrawn was a friend.

-And at last this comes to a close.

 

 

 

And that's all of it! I won't fault you at all if you don't want to read all of that lol

[Lunafox]

Septimum Caput

 

You're right it's more of a collection of all the things that influenced Marr's life and made him who he ultimately became.

Upon rethinking this, I probably would have been better off to go with 3rd person omniscient, if I wanted to tell it more like a novel.

 

Funny, it's not really a novella either, the story clocks in at just under 137K words. I suppose each section could be a novella, that would work.

 

I think one of the reasons Marr fascinated Vowrawn, was because he couldn't predict what he'd do most of the time like he could do with others.

 

Octavum Caput

 

Taxon is a blow hard, he's a loud mouth that got in because he was good at intimidation, not much else.

 

I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the transitions in time from childhood to young adult etc. I always worried about getting them just so.

 

I'm also very happy that you enjoyed the imagery and many of the lines. ^^

 

Nonum Caput

 

That's an apt comparison with Deadpool there, about a few key moments that matter and define you.

 

I love writing Tulak Hord, he's fun for me, I'm glad he comes off as a low key sort of twisted.

 

Being a pagan/wiccan spelling magic with a 'ck' just sort of stuck. For me it separates true magick from magic tricks where you pull a rabbit out of your hat.

 

I've seen one or two episodes of clone wars, I really should make a point of watching it, I just haven't had the chance. I've seen a few clips of different scenes on youtube though.

 

Decimum Caput

 

I am absolutely amazed and grateful by the painstaking care you take with your reviews, it's astounding, entertaining and insightful. You're a real gem and a rarity. Reviews like yours make all the effort of writing such a saga worth the effort.

 

Vowrawn finds that most men have a vice that can be exploited...whether it's booze, spice, women and he's merely trying to find Marr's. Sad thing is, Marr's is duty.

 

I was always inclined to think that Vowrawn would have his fingers in all the pies, even if they're on Rep. side, simply because of how easily and effortlessly he hid right in the midst of them with his base. That takes guts and I think he has no shortage of guts and nerve lol. As whether he is also telling the straight truth about things, that's also a consideration. He might be lying, you never know.

 

I choose the colour blue for my flames and light because I was always under the impression that it was more evil somehow. I suppose it's a throw back to Bram Stoker's Dracula, when you cross into Dracula's territory that the flames rising up are blue.

 

Love the music from Rogue One.

 

Hord is right, in a Sith's world everyone does betray, it's a way of life for them. It's actually a rare thing not to get betrayed and the fact that Liatrix doesn't betray Marr says a lot. Her bond with him was always a bit sacred, as a child and even as an adult after she was reunited with him.

 

Troops sizes have always been a pain for me. I honestly have little understanding on how big brigades are, legions are, etc. I try to research it and everything I read differs depending on who I'm reading about. I try to make do and hope that others are willing to bend to what I want to tell them.

 

 

Undecimum Caput

 

I did in fact create a great deal for this. I do for a lot of my stuff, but I weave just enough of the actual canon lore in to make people wonder.

 

The charges are a bit medieval, but that's the sort of person Taxon is...the charges are quite 'trumped up.'

 

My commas, yeah, they're always a thing. My editor teases me and says I write like Bill Shatner speaks. I am improving though. Many of the commas slip by here though, because I edit things myself and stuff gets missed. I'm not going to pay a professional to go through fan fiction I do for fun.

 

I'm really happy you enjoy my odd use of language Some people think I might sound archaic, or like I hail from another time by the words I choose to use.

 

Being in a place before and truly arriving at a place, can be very different.

 

If I had a credit for everytime Marr had no time for people's BS, I'd be able to buy another luxury spa lol.

 

Demolis was a creation that just formed on his own, he just seemed to come to life without much effort.

 

Duodecimum Caput

 

He hee, Spy Vs. Spy...there's one I'll have to revist soon.

 

Taxon is exactly that, just like an angry nerf seeing red.

 

Constantine is one of my favorite movies, so there might be influences here and there.

 

So is Gladiator. "Are you not entertained" always makes me think of Maximus.

 

Cynster didn't have long for the world, once Vowrawn decided he wanted what he had.

 

Arctis/Arctus, that's probably my fatigue or carelessness there. It is the same guy though that got dead around Thanaton's time, so he was old, but the dark side keeps people strong, if they're powerful. And Sith are no strangers to life prolonging activies.

 

 

Tredecimum Caput

 

I'm really happy that you loved the opening lines. I have other ideas about how I might use them in the future which might be fun.

 

I like to think the voice sounded like Satele, I wasn't trying to fool people too much, but just trying for an air of mystery.

 

I think it could have been sabotage...Marr is not without enemies. Or it could have just been one of those things, vehicles do break down...and it was the will of the Force that it happen so he could meet Liaseph.

 

I did know that about the Killiks. They're actually pretty fascinating.

 

 

About this line...what I'm about to tell you will bake your noodle. It baked mine and I was stunned when I heard that line for the first time in the theater. “Yes, but they might miss and shoot me instead.” Hahaha, that Rogue One reference!

 

I wrote that line way ahead of any trailers or releases about Rogue One. There was a teaser trailer that was released in April, but didn't have that line in it. There was another longer trailer released in the fall, after September 9th, 2016 when I posted it and it didn't have that line in it. I honestly flipped out when I heard, because I was like, 'That's MY line'. It was probably one of those serendipitous things where writers think alike and it made me a bit happy because if a pro script writer came up with that, then I'm damn well good enough to do it too. It also made me wonder if anyone of any sort of influence in Lucasfilm/Disney reads these forums. So, it's not a Rogue One reference, rather Rogue One was referrencing me!

 

Quattuordecimum Caput

 

Kolto can come in 'bars' of paste yah?

The music is beautiful and yes, it does fit nicely, thank you for that.

 

Indeed Liatrix's sense of snark and humour and her charming moments are from mom.

 

Avernus, yes that came to mind...life in DK is toxic. And I liked the idea of the opera mirroring their lives a bit.

 

Rylister had his own designs in the grand scheme and he was always conflicted between staying true to the order and doing what he wanted for himself. A quandary many Jedi encounter. His love for Liaseph was what brought him down partly.

 

Quindecimum Caput

 

Marr is patient as Sith go...but that doesn't mean he's really patient. He just might let you explain before he snuffs you.

 

Kendoh is a dbag. Always hated him, glad I managed to get his horrid personality across.

 

Marr was being a bit of a creeper lol. It did amuse me though, he was charming in his own way. And no I don't think Marr retains a lot of his good looks when he's older, the darkness and dark side do ravage a person, and he has no reason to mask it behind an illusion when he wears a mask. I think to some degree he did hide how awful he looked when he let Liatrix see him in Foundation.

 

Marr is nothing if not direct. His impatience and no time for people's sh*t carries over to himself as well. If he tolerated it in anyone it would have been in her.

 

Sedecimum Caput

 

This was probably the happiest chapter...

Marr is like anyone else, while he can be astute, some things are lost on him.

And you're right, at this point in time, Liaseph is an innocent, just a foolish young girl in love. She hardens up later but even then not so much. She was always a bit vulnerable and soft.

 

The mutilated bodies in a box...I guess it's my version of Tim Burton's stray eyeball in all his movies lol.

I guess the movie 'Seven' made an impresssion.

 

Septendecimum Caput

 

I think he liked their organization and prowess, dedication to the military...

Panteers didn't really affect anything in this so I didn't refer to them, I suppose if I were to do it over, I might have at least dropped the name in some way.

 

To me and for the purpose of this story and my other stories, 'the darkness' is a different and separate entity from the 'dark side of the Force'. I twisted things a bit to make demons play a part...I remembered Anakin speaking of angels in space when he was a boy and thought, if there can be angels, then the opposite must also be true. Also Han Solo says, 'see you in hell' so I figure there is a demon filled construct in that universe too.

 

I figured the idea about aliens being useful germinated somewhere, I don't see Marr as a man who would waste a resource and he'd seen that aliens are intelligent and can be used to better the Empire.

 

Ravage did have his reasons for hating Marr, and it basically boiled down to jealousy about a great many things.

 

Duodevigensimum Caput

 

Thank you, throwing shade at the Teraans, is something I liked doing.

And yes, there are survivors, cousins, uncles, people who were off world at the time...but much of the family line did get obliterated, they never really recovered. As shown in the smuggler's story, if I remember correctly.

 

Liaseph's sister is a pinhead, more concerned about things that have little importance in the grand scheme. She'd always be more concerned about her things than people, or things that might impact her happy oblivious life in some way. Liaseph was always more realistic about what their lives were like and I think that's why her father didn't care for her, because she was a thorn in his side about some things.

 

And yes, it is a stupid awful thing, but nobles can be archaic about such proofs.

 

Undevigensimum Caput

 

Yep, I intended that there be another child before Liatrix, a boy that didn't get to live. And yes, Liaseph and Marr are parted for something like 4 years before finding each other again...enough time to still love, but enough time to change and grow where it would never be quite the same again.

 

Marr is a pragmatist, this is how he sees the Empire, a great wheel and when person pushing the wheel dies off, they're replace with another and on and on it goes. Kind of like the wheel in Conan the Barbarian lol.

 

Indeed, Marr's integrity and sense of duty would preclude him from abandoning the mother of his child. It's not in his character. He would see to it she was cared for, even if he wasn't a presence.

 

It was probably more of a poorly done time jump on my part. It does happen, when it takes so long between postings. You're feeling stuff in real time but the events in the story are happening at a different time.

 

Zygerrians, yuck. To learn about them, I did actually watch a few clips on youtube from Clone Wars.

 

And yes, I didn't forget Arcana Blood...who needed to be dealt with.

 

That was a tough section to write as well, doing all that to poor Liaseph. I had to force myself a bit to do it, because it was so sad and unpleasant. It hurt to write.

 

Vigensimum Caput

 

I thought the foreshadowing about the heart would be interesting here. Marr isn't wrong about the Jedi, he has a keen ability to read character quite well for the most part. He's not infallible, but he's a good judge of character.

 

And yes, Vilks is the same guy, he was just careful and competent enough to have survived. He aged with his post, but he didn't see much promotion either. He was stuck in his job, but was fine with it.

 

Vowrawn is starting to get a bit jittery about Marr coming too close to one of his dealings.

 

Vigensimum et Unum Caput

 

I liked Ravage, still do. I was sorry to have to kill him, but there was no way he was going to survive the story. To let him live would have made Marr appear impotent. It was bad enough he had to rely on his allies to carry out his justice.

 

Scourge also does the tendril twirling, and probably more so than Vowrawn, but I could see that if a man had chin tendrils, he might do that as a thinking gesture. Like men, who tug at their beards.

 

Genetics work in strange ways, I'm no geneticist, so I won't even bother trying to explain or justify that, it just was. DNA and such can pass through the placenta I think, so maybe it happened that way or Tulak Hord. Either/both work lol.

 

There was only the one city...and I guess the Force.

 

Vigensimum et Secundum Caput

 

It's a bloody huge window lol. It's how I saw it in my head. Almost cathedral like.

Some are invented, some are from seeing clips of Clone Wars about the Zygerrians. You know me, I like to have a mix of both.

 

I'm glad you enjoyed the subtlety and cleverness of Marr's dealings with Borga.

 

I think the Jedi, I read somewhere, have enough pocket money for food and lodging...and anything else, or if they need more, would likely be billed to the temple. Where they get their money? I'm not sure to be honest. Maybe donations? Maybe rich families who have 'palladins' give money to the Temple to keep the Jedi going?

 

I figured the Blood family were an unsavory sort. I see no goodness in them, if the final result is like Tarro.

 

No, I believe 'Reclamation pukes' was on purpose.

 

I really enjoyed the friendship that developed between Keeper and Marr as well. They were quite alike in many ways, and yes, if Keeper would have been Sith, he would have made a great one.

 

I think when he deleted the sad truths from Liaseph's journal, it was a mercy. There would've been no point in making Marr hate her, or to affect his grieving. I think it's one of the few kind considerate things that Keeper does, out of respect.

Vigensimum et Tertium Caput

 

Nasty cultures that are mainly slavers...yeah, I could see them using poison tips. It's one thing a Force user can't really fight against. Poison hurts everyone and evens the playing field a bit.

 

I don't think Vowrawn knew at first...but he started to figure it out and then it was a matter of trying to sort the mess so that he survives.

 

Ravage always had a sick sort of preoccupation with Liaseph. Yes, in part it was to get at Marr...huring her was like hurting his hated rival...and yet the same time, there was something like love, he was capable of kindnesses to her, he wanted her...but it also came with a price. Not sure Ravage is capable of true love, and her being a non force user made it easier for him to inflict his will on her. She could never really fight back.

Vigensimum et Quartum Caput

Liaseph does toughen up some. She does her best to survive in a hostile foreign world.

 

Well, I guess Ravage's master was a lazy git. I mean, Baras wanted the device too, but it's not like he was marching his fat butt down there to pick it up. He could've but he didn't. Same with Ravage's master. Though as you say, I can't see Ravage just leaving it there. But I wanted to give Ravage's name a reason and I liked the idea of being like a human 'ravager'.

 

The main purpose was to get info, true, but this shows that Ravage was a sadistic S*OB. Like a bully he delighted in making others suffer.

 

I beg to differ about Ravage not having any redeeming qualities, he was capable of kindness and did want to do things to make her happy...the reason's might have been selfishly motivated...a happy mistress might be more willing to indulge you. I do think she mattered to him and he cared about her, as much as he was capable of. I did see sparks of vulnerablity in him. I think if she had treated him like he was the end all, and not pined after Marr, she could've had a good and happy life with him. He was prepared to spend time with her and take her places, where Marr never did.

 

As you say, the Emperor is no fool and he understands that he has a brilliant strategist in Marr. If you were to ask the Emperor, he might even say 'defense' is wasted on Marr. Marr was very clever and brutal when he needed to be, like he did with Peltos V.

 

Vowrawn is a devil lol. And yes, he does use Liaseph to distract him, she is Ravage's vice and weakness. Remember when I said Vowrawn liked to find out what those were in the people he deals with? In a sense he wants to keep her around Ravage, because then he can know Ravage's dealings better and where he is. If he's with his mistress, he's not off screwing up other things Vowrawn might be into.

 

Vigensimum et Quintum Caput

 

Marr isn't infallible. Mistakes happen. It was my effort to make him a bit 'less perfect'

Vowrawn probably wouldn't have minded being more tight with The Hand...but as you say, it didn't work out.

 

I wasn't familiar with the British Ungentlemanly Warfare...I built Destab on the tiny bit of what I read in the wiki and grew it from there.

 

I see Marr as being a man of his word. He means what he says and I think that's why many respect him.

 

Jadus is much younger than Marr...as you say, Jadus is just a teen...probably at the academy honing his Sith powers.

 

I thought about writing a Jadus story at once time, I love him to bits, but then I wasn't sure I wanted to spend that much time in a psychopath's head. Maybe someday, but mentally I'm not in a place to do that right now. When I write these characters, I spend an awful lot of time in my head, in their head...and Jadus isn't a good place to be. Not sure if it shows, but to a degree, I make myself become who I'm writing about.

 

Okay...guess it's time to make another post. I'm paranoid this one will time out or something lol. I'll get the rest up a bit later. Answering all this, certainly gives me a very great appreciation for the time and effort it took for you to do all this for me. <3

Edited July 26, 2017 by Lunafox

[Lunafox]

Vigensimum et Sextum Caput

 

Honestly, I don't remember what my intention was with that galaxy. It well could've been a word backwards, I like doing stuff like that.

 

Liaseph does get to learn that she has a certain amount of power...not a lot mind you, but a little bit and she uses it to her advantage when she can.

 

The thing with Actis was likely a flub. It's hard to keep track of so many fictional people over such a broad range of time. This story...actually the scope of all the stories is a bit frightening if I think about it too much. There is *a lot* to remember about so many.

 

Yeah, Bioware never said how old Mortis is, but I suspect he's not all that young, so it made sense for him to arrive at this moment in time.

 

I'm very careful with my postings, and try to get them accurate, but mistakes do happen. I'm usually up very late when posting these things, so sometimes, I'm hurried.

 

Vigensimum et Septimum Caput

 

The Emperor's theme is perfect for that.

I think at this point the Emperor was so arrogant and confident, he could say anything and what's anyone going to do? He was pretty full of himself at the best of times.

 

Keeper is a clever dude, and kept me on my toes, because he's cleverer than I am lol.

 

Thanks, Vowrawn was a joy to write, and this part just goes to show, that even the master manipulater of the entire galaxy can make mistakes or misinterpret what he's seeing.

 

 

Duodetricesimum Caput

 

I think Keeper has seen so much in his day, that very little actually phases him anymore. That and he's naturally got ice water in his veins lol.

 

I don't see Marr as someone who enjoys snivelling and butt kissing. Remember Baras' slave that greets SW on DK for the first time? Yah, that kind wouldn't have lasted a minute with Marr. Baras likes buttkissers, Marr has no use for them.

 

Well, the saboteurs...it wouldn't be the first time Sith work against each other either knowingly or unknowingly.

Ivernus is the hunt target from the BH story.

 

Maybe a form of it. A sithy version of Battle Meditation...I liked it, it worked for me.

 

Vowrawn is a very tricky customer and he was trying to give a little info to get a lot. Ravage might have made use of it, if he was that clever, but he's not.

 

As for what Vowrawn gets...sometimes profit in some way...power...insight, the upper hand...and sometimes, just entertainment. He likes to watch the world burn...lol.

 

Ravage doesn't pay attention, and Vowrawn has so many underlings posing in different capacities, it's quite likely Ravage didn't know Vowrawn was her true owner. Vowrawn might have even been seen around the club, enjoying himself, but Ravage might have interpreted he was there for similar reasons as himself.

 

Got to have a good star war now and again lol.

 

Undetricesimum Caput

 

Balmorra becomes a mess, but at that time, Marr considered it a success. Things change over time.

 

The tenor thing...I'm usually pretty careful about stuff like that, but sometimes it slips past anyway.

 

Ravage might be able to grant her freedom, if he bought out her value to the company leasing her to him. In essence, he could buy her and free her, if he had enough money or inclination to do so.

 

It's still a convertible, it allows you to see everything in the open, but the invisible shield protects the occupants in the vehicle.

 

You caught my droid name I dont' think most people notice lol.

 

I'm glad you found the festivities beautiful. I love fireworks

Ravage has other priorities, but he does pay attention to Liaseph more than say, Marr.

 

I had no idea how many bottles were in a case I just picked a number.

 

The Bith quartet would probably still be treated as slaves, even if they're entertainers.

They're property of the club.

 

Indeed, I fooled a few people with that Imperial in the bar. And just as a note, it wasn't the Nexus Room that Vowrawn owned, it was another club, I never really bothered to name, beyond 'the club' it was so exclusive it didn't need a name lol. The Nexus room was just another venue that we could visit, that actually exists.

 

Liaseph is learning to play the game, but it's also Life Day and she wants to be happy for just a little while.

 

 

Tricesimum caput

 

That about sums it up there, about good and evil.

 

Marr is a slave to duty. That's his vice, right there. He can't get past it. Everything is a duty and if he manages to meet all his duties, it's a good day.

 

Bothawui, urgh, I really hated writing that part.

 

Darmas Pollaran, yes, and his name wasn't spelled incorrectly as such, it's an anagram...that I intended is his true Imperial name, given that he is in fact an imperial. He doesn't become Darmas Pollaran until he assumes that identity when he is banished to the Republic. I have other backstory in mind for him, which I might have occasion to include someday in something.

 

Good, I didn't want her suicide to seem too obvious and I didn't want it to seem too planned. Hearing about Marr's 'death' was the one thing that she couldn't take. She took a lot, but what kept her going is the thought that one day, she would be with him again. When that seemed impossible, she was done.

 

Tricesimum et Unum Caput

 

Again, troop numbers are something that phase me a bit. I'm never really sure what seems like a good size of army...so I come up with a number and hope it's enough.

 

I should pay more attention to the war documentaries my hubby watches on youtube. Some of it I might pick up through osmossis, but I don't really pay that much attention to it. Maybe I should.

 

Fascinating post/thread, that. Thank you

 

Well, if it comes down to a distress call and surviving or being proud and dying...I'm inclined to think these Sith were survivalists. Marr is more like...ram them, full speed ahead!

 

Ah, you caught that Salamis thing eh? Busted lol.

 

Peltos V he hee, yeah, had to call it something. It made sense given what happens.

 

Glad you enjoyed the spacy stuff It's hard to write, but when it works out, it's fun.

 

And the darkness is something else, it's more of a demonic force I created...it's not quite the dark side of the force. In this way, when Marr shed 'the darkness' into the void, he was getting rid of that demonic power, but was still able to retain the darkness of his character through the force, if that makes sense.

 

And, yes, I'm excited about Kylo's tie fighter. I quite loved his shuttle too. The imperial ships, truly are a thing of beauty, I love them. Pub ships always looked like garbage imho.

 

Tricesimum et Secundus Caput

 

Funny thing, I didn't get to read those comics. I was inspired by a panel I saw on google of them. I did manage to read The Dark Suns though...

 

I wanted to make it a celebration where all ages could enjoy, but still be like the empire, but...happy. I figure, they're still people, they have kids, there will be some snacks and toys for the kids to celebrate the victories.

 

Vowrawn is oddly enough the one I see behind these sorts of things. Unofficial party planner to the Empire? Maybe?

Vowrawn knows what he's doing and Ravage played into his hands by banishing Liaseph to the main floor. One not so accidental run in...check!

 

Parades move very slowly. I figured it would take a while to go from the new district all the way around to the citadel, it's be like walking...with no sprint.

 

The music I was listening to for the parade.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf-HZz5Qv8E

 

Marr isn't really a wind bag. He doesn't really care for long drawn out speeches, at least in my thinking. And I don't think he'd really planned one.

 

Well, I figured its a double standard, if the club caters to the important, it's not like they're going to ruin a good thing for themselves.

 

As for male servants, my Nox had them. I believe there was a man doing her nails at one point in Foundation.

 

Fair point about the brunette, but I think it's also in the way she had done up her hair, I imagine Alderaanian styles to be quite specific to that world.

 

I had intended that there be some time passing from the rapey bit after the episode with the agent on the roof, to when she got banished. She wasn't there that long, I don't think, but she was made to be more 'active.'

 

I think that scene where Vowrawn gets confronted is probably as close as he's fallen to the fire. He was being held down by the short and curly and he was sweating it, perhaps more than anything else he'd felt at any other time. But hey, in true Vowrawn fashion, he says, "It was quite exciting to have my feet over the flames, but only for a moment."

 

Liaseph's time on DK did serve to break her, and yes, she was treated considerably worse as an asset to the main floor, than she would have been upstairs with her client.

 

 

Tricesimum et Tertium Caput

 

I'm happy you felt it was expertly constructed, I lost a few hair follicles over that. There was definately hair pulling involved to get it the way I wanted.

 

Vowrawn puts up a good front...and yes, it's an illusion.

Vowrawn was never cruel to Liaseph, he was actually very gentle with her at all times. Ravage...well...he had no trouble torturing her when she displeased him...so you see after a while she seemed almost eager to please him.

 

The genetic modifications aren't really something you can avoid, even if you know about them. They're adaptive pheromones, they adapt and do so quickly. I don't think Liatrix's are quite as powerful as her mother's, being more of a second generation thing, or genetic quirk. I think this because there were some people who were able to resist Liatrix. If her quirk was as strong as her mother's, Zane might have fallen prey to her, he didn't. And also Relnex, he was a pure Jedi, he also resisted her.

 

What happened to Liaseph, was the real tragedy in this story as you say. Poor thing lost so much, she was never that strong spirited girl we see on Alderaan again. If she was even then, she was after all, marching into killick lands because she was at her wits end about getting married.

 

Tricesimum et Quartum Caput

 

"Wings of the Thranta!" You're right it's very puppy like I made that up, it suited her lol. Kind of like Scarlett O'hara's "fiddle dee dee."

 

I think 'car' can be used in Star Wars language, it exists, because in TESB, the vehicles patrolling Cloud City were called, 'cloud cars' if I remember correctly.

 

Good point about freeing slaves...I suppose it would depend on the circumstances. In this case, Vowrawn wasn't going to make too much of a fuss because it's Marr. He doesn't want him for an enemy.

 

I think that incident, and Vowrawn helping to save Marr, put them back on even, but wary ground again. They weren't true enemies to each other, but neither could they really trust each other either. Best to keep distance...which Marr did even after Liaseph died. If you'll remember in Foundation, how wary Marr was to visit Vowrawn and Nox on Alderaan.

 

I guess, I do have a thing for 'L' names for girls. And names with an 'F' sound for the boys.

 

I'm very happy that the way I treated the decriptions of Marr's new artifical organs worked. It's hard to imagine that situation and what it would feel like.

 

Liaseph would have made a good spy in another life. In this one though, she comes to hate and mistrust them because of Darmas/Damars. If she had lived, and known about her daughter's penchant for spies as lovers, she would've been very upset. She would have done all she could to make sure her daughter is safe from the spies and part their company.

 

I guess it was sort of a happy ending for this one. Can't be all doom and gloom...no matter how I try lol.

 

Tricesimum et Quintum Caput

 

This is true, all men (as in people) lie. It was never quite the same for them after that.

 

The Emperor is creepy, spiders are creepy...so yeah, it works out lol.

 

Her comparing DK to Alderaan after the life she had on Alderaan is telling. It seems that she's looking back on home with a bit more fondness after what she's lived through on DK. At least there some joys to be had at home...but she's being unfair, there were joys on DK too. Not many, but some.

 

You've figured out what Marr's cage is. It's self made, and it's strong and there is no breaking free of it. That's part of what makes him so brilliant a strategist, that he considers all the what ifs and such, but it's certainly not a liberating thing to do. It keeps him firmly caged.

 

It's a sad truth to realize she was happier in the cage. At least the one she was with did things with her. Freedom isn't so fun, when you have no one to share it with. Going about freely on her own was fun for a while, but it got lonely fast.

 

I'm glad I did a good job with Spindrall

 

And no, no white picket fence...just a dark entity.

 

 

Tricesimum et Sextum Caput

 

Yep, Tulak Hord was not happy to be outplayed and though it took him a while, he found a way. He always will.

And he finds Liaseph and exploits her loneliness. He uses her and I deliberately even wrote it in such a way that might make people question who Liatrix's father is...but ghosts can't procreate...but Hord is capable of manipulating living tissue to behave as he wants...he did after all affect Marr's creation...and he affected Liatrix's as well, because her mother had contraceptive implants...which failed.

 

You're right, the Empire never got to the real Zane, not really. He was always a slippery serpent.

 

Darmas/Damars did relay the message, but also the person it came from, wasn't a person of 'respectability' or 'credibility'. I suspect there were people dropping names for benefits all the time. Sadly she was disregarded. I even wonder if Darmas described or named her. I see him as being very general about it, like, "There was a woman wanting for Marr...damaged goods, no doubt a headache for the Darth."

 

I hated Jaric Kaeden. I'm glad we got to put him down.

 

There wasn't all that much about Nagini Zho...a lot of his personality I made up. I hope it worked.

 

I don't get how Malgus survived my killing him either. Go figure, the guy is a roach.

 

Tricesimum et Septimum caput

 

Not sure why Marr didn't sense something awry with the droids. Maybe for the same reason the Jedi don't react to the outlander in some areas of chapter 2 of KotFE. Maybe because it was such an unlikely thing? Unexpected? Perhaps, the Zanes were good at hiding themselves. Marr would sense there is deception in the place...but perhaps was uncertain of the source?

 

Torture on DK, would just be business as usual for an Intelligence man.

 

Bottom line, the Zanes, both of them are cowards and terrorists, more than actual proper agents of the SIS. They did the dirty work, that people like Shan would look down his nose at.

 

I reckon you're right, some of Keeper's injuries would have been from getting crushed. But Marr did take the worst of it. Keeper might've been killed rather than just squished. Many died that day at the spaceport. :/

 

Duodequadragesimum caput

 

You're welcome. "ho ho ho, ma pateesa."

 

Where the webs are, the Emperor is sure to follow.

 

I suspect if Marr and Ravage encountered each other again, Ravage would have died. But I needed him alive for the story.

 

Liaseph does in fact return the snowglobe.

 

Indeed, I did know about Hord's work on Korriban. I read as much as I could find about our friendly ghost.

Rylister was more tender with Liaseph on Alderaan, but he was an abrasive git to 'the enemy'. And that only got worse after they 'sithified' him.

 

Liaseph was absolutely right about the Zanes. They didn't care about their 'friend.'

 

Good point about not clarifying Marr's order. You don't always see these things are you're doing them.

 

Undequadragesimum Caput

 

I think Ravage didn't care so much about his family as he did about his legacy and he figured his son would carry it on. Now he has no son, no apprentice and he's more p*ssy about getting his powerbase messed up than over any loss of a familiar tie.

 

The Darkness was relentless and was always looking for a hold to take over.

 

Yep, I made Ravage a distant relative of Kelleth Ur.

 

I thought Phineas was a good name for Ravage...it's the sort of name others would poke at.

 

The 'broken eggs on glass' well, I think that would come from seeing others boys pranks when he was a kid.

Marr really has become quite cold at this point.

 

The Zanes were into playing the long game too. I also think it was one way for the SIS to disassociate themselves from them, by keeping them far away.

 

Minder Xesh was my own creation. He's the guy Marr filets on Tatooine after he learned the truth about Liatrix.

 

And....time to take a break. I really am impressed by your will and fortitude to review all these chapters. Wow!

 

More later!

Edited July 27, 2017 by Lunafox

[Lunafox]

Quadragesimum Caput

 

Even those, who seem free, might not be.

 

I took piano for 10 years and I listen to a fair bit of classical music. I'm glad you found the use of the term 'fugue' apt. I felt that it worked.

 

Putting Marr and the Emperor together in the same room always struck me as more than a bit dangerous for our hero. I'm glad you enjoyed the contrast between the scene here and the one in KotFE.

 

Nine months, wasn't random, it served a purpose, that being I wanted Liatrix to be born before his return. I don't think the Emperor considers Tulak Hord. There are times I wonder if he's even aware of the competing influence. He probably is, through the Force, but perhaps sees him as more of a tool to facilitate what he wants.

 

I figured in those times, there is equipment that would hone the fulgurite to such a fine degree. I thought it was interesting, I've always been fascinated by that and would love to find a piece of fulgurite one day.

 

The Emperor is pretty clever at ensuring his aims and making sure 'the competition' doesn't succeed.

 

Quadragesimum et Unum Caput

 

That's what I always felt about Belsavis too. It is pretty there and it's ruined.

 

I'm happy that the story answers the question of how the Empire came across it. I figured they had to learn about Belsavis and Voss at some point, why not now?

 

Child archaeologist Marr is in heaven. And I love the carol too

 

Marr does get pretty shredded by the time this mission ends.

I had to do a lot of research into the Dread Masters and I thought seeing them in a vision would be cool. I've never done the OPs that conclude Oricon and that story line, as I play solo, so I had to watch them on youtube, which sucked. I really hated that they had this great story, but soloers never got to see the end of it. Putting vital story into Ops is not a nice thing to do to soloers.

 

Could be a future story, certain voices just won't leave me alone. I had it in my head to do another one, just have to wait until I have the energy level needed to do it. Investing a year of my life into a story that I don't get paid for, is a big time commitment...and I want to be sure there are still people around who care about it and want to read it. The population seems to have gone down some over the years. I don't want to waste a year's time for...crickets.

 

I thought the parallels to the deadly sins worked, I had fun with that. I don't think there was a sloth, so it was more like the 6 deadly sins lol. Unless you want to count the Emperor...as sloth, he sent another to do his bidding while he sits around?

 

Marr suffered, but he's the sort that once he's committed to something, he'll see it through.

 

Calling Theron that, might have been rude, but it was no less true and Marr called it. Zho cared about the boy and was blind to certain things, because of that.

 

The other way, being that Marr would give him his speeder and let him leave alive. Almost as good as being taken back personally.

 

Quadragesimum et Secondum Caput

 

This is Marr's initial contact with a young child. He's not terribly good at it. He does seem to improve. I looked at it as readiness training for his own lol.

He just doesn't know what to do with the boy. I think he liked him well enough and he might even have considered taking him off Zho's hands, that might have been interesting, to watch Zho squirm. Can you imagine Marr raising Satele's kid? LOL.

 

The scene on Tython was sad. I think on some level Theron remembers her...not her specifically, but he feels a certain comfort in her company, a familiarity he can't account for. It's like something on the tip of the tongue or deja vu. You feel the familiarity but can't quite place it.

 

As for Liatrix she was younger than Theron and she did have things done to her mind to forget things. I just don't think she made the connection that it was the same person. I don't think it's beyond the realm, not to recognize people you knew in grade one as an adult? There are many friends I had as a youngster and I'm pretty sure I couldn't pick them out of a line up now.

 

Zho--probably one of the few people that could lie to Marr and get away with it. He's very good at masking his thoughts and feelings, secrets. He had to be to protect the boy.

 

I did actually construct that whole story about the maze, the curse and how to dispose of the crystals where the Dread Masters were trapped, but still alive. I also made up the prophecy to connect this to the Jedi Story because Liatrix is the 'destroyer'. The sith warrior could be seen as 'the liberator,' because of how Baras tricked the Emperor's Voice into getting stuck in that Voss.

That served exactly that purpose, it showed the Emperor, through the Voice that Marr was a great deal more clever than the Emperor gave him credit for. And more duplicitous as well.

 

 

Quadragesimum et Tertium Caput

 

I haven't heard of Franz Stigler or that battle.

 

Marr has a few fuguey moments doesn't he. Glad you liked it.

 

As for how the Battle Meditation worked, I found that in research, that wasn't me that made that up. It was my interpretation from what was written here. http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Battle_meditation

 

I figured linking the dread master's auras to their lightsaber was a neat idea, so I ran with it.

 

I could see how that my knowledge of the dreadmasters might be lacking a bit, because I never did the Ops for either side. I ran with it, made some of it my own as it made sense to me, and there it is.

 

I don't think it would have occurred to Marr to try seduction, he operates on his own terms and emotional manipulation isn't his forte. That's more for Nox. Even Vowrawn, but I don't see Marr that way. He'd deal with the Master as he thought best and he's pretty direct for a Sith.

 

I think everyone fears death to a degree. And yes, Marr wants his life and his death to matter, to make a difference. He wants to leave the Empire better than he found it...so yes, the idea of dying old, weak and useless on a death bed is repugnant to him.

 

I hadn't read the Lost Suns at the time I wrote this, so I hope it was close, I think it was, now that I've read them.

 

Quadragesimum et Quartum Caput

 

I like perpetual autumn and a good cup of hot tea. I just hate the Voss people. They annoy the hell out of me. I think I have that in common with Marr, I hate that they speak in circles and riddles. That's a nightmare for someone who is direct.

 

He he, you liked Marr being ornery over tea eh?

 

I think Sel Makor is a relative/persona to Marr's darkness. Like cousins...

 

It's quite possible Tulak Hord went to Voss. I don't see him as someone who would share that information and he is quite powerful in my thinking and can get around the galaxy in his spirit form. He might even have been there in life...can't know for sure.

 

The yellow Voss dreamland is migraine inducing. I hate it. Why couldn't they have made it 'blue' or something.

 

Yep, thought it was interesting the whole bit with Baras. It made sense to me, that Baras having like the ultimate spy network would be the one to root out the dread crystals (I made this up) and use them to lure the Emperor. I figured it had to be something he'd really really want, or Baras wouldn't be able to get the better of him. I'd hate to write Baras, he's way cleverer than I am. Outthinking him, would be hard.

 

At this point, it would probably be unlikely that Marr would put that together, that his daughter would be 'the one.'

 

Quadragesimum et Quintum Caput

 

Thanks, I take pride in mingling my ideas with the existing lore to the point where you can barely tell them apart. A couple of times, even I questioned myself...'that was mine, wasn't it?' lol.

 

Three...is a mystical number. It seems to follow me and for that reason, it's stuck. I have an amazing amount of '3's in my life, so it follows into my stories as well it seems.

 

I don't know that Liatrix would remember how her mother felt about her when she was a baby. Princess Leia remembered her mother was beautiful and had warm feelings about her, but past that? I think Liatrix would remember her mother as being distant, aloof, difficult to know, like she never truly revealed who she was to her daughter. Her mother provided her with the things she needed and wanted, but wasn't really emotionally available. I think little Liatrix always sensed her mother was fragile and that's why she would step up and try to protect her.

 

I think Liatrix was a warmer mother to her children than Liaseph was...atleast to one of her children. Her daughter, Sephna might have a different tale to tell. Don't know yet.

 

Marr didn't shed a tear on Yavin, he had lost too much of himself at that point. I think this was pretty much the only time he did (since being a child) when he first held her.

 

Yep, Operation Cornerstone...coming up.

 

Quadragesimum et Sextum Caput

 

I did this on purpose, so many people approach depression and those affected by it, in the wrong way.

 

Communication was always a problem between them after their forced separation. They were fine on Alderaan, but after being reunited it was never the same. With him being away, and being emotionally distant it was hard for them to find common ground. Missions didn't allow for a lot of communication and in part I think he avoided it too. He knew she would be clamouring for him to be with her, to be home and that wasn't really him. He was most himself at battle.

 

I don't know if it's so much poor self esteem at the heart of Marr, so much as he's firmly convinced himself that he's just another cog in the machine. A high level important cog, but one none the less and it keeps him low.

 

I thought that was an interesting crux for Tulak Hord. You're right, he could never grant that, it would be the end of the road.

 

I'm not sure it was a concious choice to make Liaseph a victim of destiny. I think it goes with my own feelings sometimes, of being like a rudderless ship, with little control. Especially at the time I was writing this, that's how my life was. It had taken a bad turn and I spent a lot of time afraid, worried, for just about every aspect in my life. Quite honestly, it was a time I thought I might lose everything. I struggled with depression myself, and I think all of these little things came out in the writing. It was a bad time for me, one I've been able to overcome thankfully.

 

That was hard to set up, where nothing that Marr says is an outright lie. That was a challenge, because the Emperor would sense if he was lying outright, so there had to be enough truth to hide that.

 

I'm glad you enjoy the way I 'draw my bow across the strings of star wars.' That was a really nice compliment right there. Thank you.

 

And yes, that would be very apt, the Imperial march via music box. I wish that existed. I'd totally get one. Hey I found a youtube version, could be a great theme for any kiddy stories I do.

 

Qoadragesimum et Septimum Caput

 

The Twi'lek was working under orders, to stay in deep cover and gather as much info as she could. Sadly there was more about Marr's family life such as it is, than anything tactical.

Una Vara/Aruna Var was a coward and a terrorist at heart. She lost her nerve in many ways and even got slightly attached to the family, I think she felt sorry for little Liatrix, beause she was more emotionally available to the girl than her mother was. How might that affect Liatrix, to have a better maternal connection with a terrorist?

 

That mission, yes, was the very definition of clusterf*cked. Too many variables changed too quickly and it went to hell. It happens...

 

I don't think Marr is slow to the games, he just never registered Satele as all that important to him. It's like the voice of someone you might have had to work with a couple of times over the years...and it would bug you to remember who it was...again like having something on the tip of your tongue.

 

Antepenultimum Caput

 

The explosion...I did my best to describe it. I've never seen or been part of something quite like that lol. And yes, the ginx too. It had to die...or it would be all alone, an alien creature on a strange world, with no mate...no offspring. It was quite possibly a sadder existence for that ginx than for Liaseph. That and remember you were the one that started calling me George R.R. Lunafox lol.

 

That's a key theme in my stories, about there never being enough time, or to live every moment like it's the last. It comes from being a funeral director for several years and you saw how Death operated and affected various people and their families. That seemed a constant thing there too, people never had enough time. They never said what they wanted to, or needed to. That's why I hope if my stories get one message across, that it's that life is uncertain, you may not have more time. Do what you must now! Don't procrastinate, do things, tell people what they mean to you...don't let an argument be the last thing said to someone, if possible. Not always an easy thing to live by either, but for the important people...it's vital to remember this.

 

Marr finally gets to be what he never truly was, as you say. He was making up for a lot there.

 

Penultimum Caput

 

Can I say again, how much I adore Keeper? I dare say, he's probably one of, if not the most intelligent people in the star wars universe here.

 

I wanted people to understand who Liaseph was and what her life was. She was hard to know in some ways, so these journal entries say a lot about who she was. For all Liatrix's seeming openness, she's like her mother...she keeps a lot to herself, has a lot of secrets and while people who know her might not describe her as 'being hard to know' she is, she just hides it better.

 

Calling the lords/darths, 'master' never left Liaseph, as you say she'd done it all her life and lifelong habits are hard to break. It also made her stick out like a sore thumb on DK. She had no Imperial accent, her hair and clothes were far more colourful and inventive than the plain utilitarian fashions of many in the Empire. Then the words she chose, like 'master' as an honorific and she just screamed 'foreigner' 'immigrant' at every turn. It's another isolater, and why she didn't fit in with others there. She'd be the cause of snarky whispers when she'd enter a venue...

 

I think Keeper was doing a rare kindness there. He respected Marr, and it served no purpose to make him see what his wife was really thinking/doing. He thought it kinder to remove that and let Marr remember her well.

 

Of course he made note of those things for himself, in case he ever needed it for leverage.

 

Satele would shed no tears if the Empire lost another councillor, but I really don't think at this point Marr needed her encouragement to go wreck Ravage

 

 

Ultimum Caput

 

I'm happy that you found the opening line fitting.

 

I don't see Vowrawn as being all bad. I think he has his own code of honour. He does terrible things, but he's also capable of mercies and kindnesses. Not everything he does is self serving either.

 

It was important to me, to give Keeper his promotion as promised. Marr is a man of his word.

 

Satele was right in that, as much as hate to say she's right about anything, but it's true that Marr's best accomplishments and moments were ones he didn't rely on the darkness to achieve.

 

I think Liatrix didn't remember her friend, just because she was very young. I think as I said before, that she and Theron were comfortable with each other, without ever really realizing why. They might some day though.

 

He hee, that was a very Vowrawn thing to say. He has so much joie de vivre that he would see it as Marr sucking the joy out of a thing lol.

 

Vowrawn knew better, he knew that Marr was very capable of hurting Ravage, just not in the way he thought.

I think it tickled Vowrawn having this 'victory' over Ravage. It was literally like having the last laugh.

 

I think it was appropriate that Marr and Vowrawn end as friends, which was how they began in a way. Sort of full circle there. And it was as happy an ending as you could make to this foray into depression lol.

 

Divi, I just want to thank you for the time and effort you took, to provide me with these indepth reviews. They've helped me on many levels and I appreciate it. Thank you. <3

Edited July 28, 2017 by Lunafox

[Diviciacus]

Again, I'm sorry for the gigantic review dump! As I said, I required an explosive and triumphant return to the community and a complete review of Marr coupled with a new chapter of my own story was the bare minimum (I planned also to add a story to the weekly challenge thread but I wasn’t super inspired by the prompt; and what I thought of writing I ended up deciding to incorporate into Conquering the Darkest Places anyway lol) Thought I ought to respond to what you've written because you spent so much time on it!

 

Also sorry this is so huge too. I planned to reply to your posts individually but I have been busy with stuff and you made the second one literally while I was writing a response

 

 

 

7

You know what, I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much with a 3rd omniscient narrator. Making the reader sit next to Marr and watching all these things about his life – many that he never knew – was such a treat and insanely clever.

 

Holy **** it's 137,000 words? That's like... a quarter of the Quenta Silmarillion! I had no idea it was so long. That's incredible!

 

8

 

I'm always utterly blown away by how you manage to say so much with so little. It's a perfection of writing I can but envy

 

9

I did not know that about you, which suddenly makes so much more sense for the usage in Marr.

 

I could never get into Clone Wars, but I started watching Rebels a while ago and it's quite good too. Star Wars is love, Star Wars is life!

 

10

I miss a lot of things, even with multiple read-throughs. A lot of the really subtle emotional stuff because “stereotypical guy,” I guess. But I always enjoy connecting the dots with your stories, teasing out meaning and details, peeling back the layers.

 

Military sizes in Star Wars in general are hard because it's often not listed anywhere; the words are just used because modern militaries have them and people have probably heard them before. I could see Taxon sending way more troops than necessary to apprehend Marr but an entire army seemed like overkill, even for a dude whose default state is “massively disproportionate overreaction.”

 

11

When researching for my own writing I try to invent as little as possible (outside of characters if I can’t – or don’t want to – use an existing one). Using existing things – to me, at least – gives a bit of an authority and authenticity to the writing to draw from existing Star Wars things. But also for rarer things, picking up on the reference is something I enjoy in your stories and I wish to return the favor to my own readers.

 

I'm always a big fan of seeing rare words - or even better, ones I've never heard before. Enriching language is a powerful tool, and for my own story I often spend a lot of time tearing apart online thesauri for perfect words.

 

13

Yea the opening lines were always really cool and figuring out what they meant was often a puzzle I enjoyed solving!

 

Haha, I never noticed! I never paid attention to when the parts of Marr were posted because I had the whole story. But that is an amazing coincidence! Clearly the Force is telling you you should be officially writing Star Wars books!

 

17

Hmm, interesting notion. I had never considered that; I dismissed the "angels" thing as "Lucas-is-terrible-at-dialogue," so I never really had a reckoning of the implications therein.

 

If we're being honest, I'd be jealous of Marr too.

 

19

What happens here is incredibly sad - all of it. It hurt to write and it hurt to read and if nothing else it has done precisely for what it was meant.

 

Nothing is ever the same again after going to Dromund Kaas. As Vette says, "where freedom goes to die and legends are forced upon the Galaxy."

 

Think nothing of the skip! I feel like it might have been derpiness on my part anyway.

 

20

Obviously it was planned but it makes me wonder how much ahead you know how certain things will play out. Do you have an outline sketched out for the entire story before you ever start writing?

 

Well you know, there is something to be said for job security!

 

22

This is one of those moments when I learn a new thing about language. I did not know that "puke" could be used as an insult! Wiktionary for the win!

 

Mercy! Yes! Good gods, that is the word I was completely unable to remember while reviewing this.

 

23

That Vowrawn, he thinks quite a lot, doesn't he?

 

 

 

24

It was a very clever idea even if I got all table-flippy over it initially

 

I don’t know. Selfish motivation just strikes me as being manipulative at best and sociopathic at worst, which is a lot of the impetus behind writing “no redeeming qualities.” Maybe it’s the way you wrote him or the way I interpreted him, but Ravage always struck me as half a yin and yang without the dot of the other side.

 

“…if he’s with his mistress he’s not off screwing up other things…” I love it!

 

25

Yea, the Ministry did all kinds of crazy stuff, most of which is, as I said, still classified. When The Lord of the Rings was filming, the end (deleted) scene of Return of the King where Saruman is killed… Sir Christopher Lee goes up to Peter Jackson and is like “this sound effect is not what a man being stabbed in the back sounds like.” As if stabbing someone in the back was “just another afternoon on Dromund Kaas”!

 

As a mark of my amateurship I don’t do anything like that… or if I do it is very superficial; as in, “what does this character want out of this situation? What happens to this character?”

 

26

Power is a powerful thing, and since Ravage seems to mostly think with his second head, it gives Liaseph an unusual angle of leverage over him.

 

Ahh yea that makes sense. Do you mean your stories in particular, or Star Wars in general?

 

27

That is a pretty compelling point I suppose. What can anyone do against the Emperor?

 

28

Speaking of Vowrawn wanting things, you know with certain characters I find that unless I very much go specifically fact-checking I forget what is actually "official" info and what is from your stories? Is good writing!

 

29

Ahh yes, one of those things that seems good on paper but then just turns to **** lol

 

I'm not nearly so careful about such things... even though I should. I was re-reading my own story before posting the new chapter and there was a fair amount of cringing. "Did... did I seriously write that? AND PEOPLE SAW IT??" *throws self on lightsaber out of embarrassment*

 

Well Vowrawn bought her for 55 million credits so she's probably leased at a rate that maths out to be per unit time higher than that (whatever his payment scheme is). Ravage would have to pay through the nose for her freedom and I don't think he'd part with that much money for himself

 

I notice some droid names. Some slip through, some I can't figure out.

 

It's not the Nexus Room? Holy crap this whole time (even back to The Foundation of All Desire) I thought it was...

 

Did you know I have somehow managed to never actually be actively playing TOR during the xmas season? I've never actually seen Life-Day stuff lol

 

30

Hated writing that part? In what way, or for what reason?

 

Well, yes... I mean "incorrectly" in the sense that it's an anagram. I didn't even notice it was for several chapters. Was he actually Imperial? I remember he was a spy for them but it's been like 3 years since I did smuggler story.

 

 

31

History is always very important! I have I suppose something of a unique perspective on war; when I teach history I focus not on the "great men" so typical of history courses but on the human side of things. The human cost of warfare. I don't pay attention the the glory as I did in my youth - but to the horror. I don't want my students to learn about history; I want them to learn from it.

 

Well, one of my degrees was in Classical Studies... it's pretty hard to sneak such things past me.

 

Imperial ships have a utilitarian elegance to them I find, although there are some Republic/rebel ships I love. The Mon Cal cruisers have such a wonderfully graceful organic look to them, for instance.

 

32

 

The comics don't actually even exist anymore. They got rid of the pages on the TOR site that hosted them :/

 

Marr and Vowrawn's banter got a little under my skin a bit because it seemed almost like Marr was being intentionally antagonistic just to piss off Vowrawn. But this is one of my favorite passages in all of Marr. The descriptions of what is going on are just absolutely wonderful! I can just hear the eruption of the crowd as Marr stands, and it's great!

 

Ohh yea I remember that now! It was a twi'lek or something, even. "No male servants" was more a general commentary than on your stories though. My bad!

 

That's a fair point as well. I hadn't considered that she would have been treated so much worse. I forgot about the reactions of the other women when she first arrived.

 

33

Well no you can't avoid them, but it's like they forget. At no point does Vowrawn ever seem to realize "hey my ability to think is being heavily affected here; I'm basically drunk"

 

Well, to a large degree marching off into the wilderness to commit suicide by killik would be the height of stubbornness.

 

34

I always thought that was more Marr-hates-Alderaan than having to do with Vowrawn.

 

Hahaha I can just see it now: "I forbid you to see that Theron rogue, YOUNG LADY!"

 

35

Are spiders creepy though? Poor spiders such a bad rap

 

Yea you put a lot of extra life into a dude who would otherwise be "that creepy fellow who hangs out randomly in the basement of a tomb."

 

36

The thought did occur to me that Tulak Hord had also been playing ball, so to speak. But I tried to ignore it until there was a more concrete answer.

 

Woooooot? Seriously? Ahahaha I was actually just trying to be a little facetious there; it amuses me to no end that I was correct instead!

 

I never considered that side of things. It's no different than the real life "friend of a friend" bs

 

Yea him not dying at the end of False Emperor flashpoint is complete garbage. I can't believe they retconned that.

 

37

Do you mean KOTET? Because chapter 2 of KOTFE is the dream sequence isn't it?

 

A bit like Forest Whitaker's character in Rogue One, I guess. Although considerably less charismatic.

 

38

I don't know that I get to talk though considering how clunky my writing ends up most of the time...

 

39

OHHHHH Yea I remember that now!! I knew I knew Minder Xesh, but couldn't google info...

 

Story has lots of effort, so review has to have lots of effort!

 

40

You say pretty clever, but "sending Scourge after them" doesn't seem like it takes all that much plotting

 

41

Yea to some degree I'm disappointed with the Oricon story/Dread Master arc because it definitely betrays players who don't raid (I mean a solid half of the storyline is contained in Explosive Conflict, Terror From Beyond, and Scum and Villainy - operations all) but clearly for Shadow of Revan, Bioware learned the lesson.

 

I can 100% understand time commitment and effort expended vs reward. There will always be my reviews lol, but I wouldn't be above paying for things if you published stuff! (I even ordered your book although it hasn't come in yet and it's not Star Wars.)

 

42

Oh man, Marr raising Theron would be like a sitcom "Two and a Half Sith" hahaha

 

I would have thought the forgetting things thing would be done prior to dumping her on Tython, though. Wipe her mind of Imperial-ness.

 

Oh on looks, to be sure most people change much. But the name you'd think one of them would have remembered the other.

 

43[u/]

Yea they're not exactly well known things from WWII but I mentioned them because of the opening text.

 

I made the suggestion of seduction more to troll Marr than anything else. Brontes' dialogue virtually drips sex, moreso than even the PC female SI or Agent, to give you an idea. She's constantly talking in the PC's head throughout the entire Dread Fortress operation.

 

I read the comics originally but many details are now fuzzy I'm afraid.

 

44

Yea, that's kind of a pain. It was problematic enough that for more than one class story I'm still like "what the hell was I supposed to be doing on Voss??"

 

I meant Tulak Hord going to Voss while alive... the actual history of the Voss is that they and the Gormak split because ancient Jedi and Sith.

 

Oh I know you made up the crystal thing I just spent a fair amount of time when you introduced it, and what Marr does with them, in trying to trace causality of later events (ie. certain class stories).

 

Yea Baras is not an easy fellow to do anything with... >.>

 

45

Three is a powerful number, I've heard. It is no coincidence that many pre-Christian deities were tripartite.

 

Hmm, yes. I mean from that age I have only vague recollections - often without context - so I couldn't fathom what Liatrix would remember. Her little episode of trying to Force-fork-and-knife Ravage she didn't remember, for instance. That came from a dream vision as I recall.

 

Yea it's hard to be a mom when you get frozen in carbonite for the first five years of your kid's life

 

 

 

Speaking of which, I know it's been probably a year and a half now but do I still have permission to borrow Operation Cornerstone?

 

 

 

46

I know, it's so unfortunate and Hollywood only makes this worse! Every once in a while I struggle (much moreso when I was younger), and my mother used to have this attitude any time I was in a bad place or if I was going through something (or even just unhappy about something) wasn't the literal worst in the world that I wasn't supposed/allowed to feel that way. She'd always be like "someone else has it worse" and I'd be like "you can kindly **** off mother." Depression is absolutely no joke and as I've gotten older and wiser, the spectacularly terrible way in which society treats mental illness has only become more and more appalling.

 

Well convincing himself that he's nothing but another brick in the wall is kind of like having low self esteem. He's convinced himself that he doesn't matter.

 

Yea I enjoyed quite a bit the way Liaseph kind of stumbled into outplaying Hord.

 

I'm definitely glad you're feeling better!

 

Oh man that link literally is an Imperial March music box!!

 

47

Nominally I don't think she had any notion of how ****** a person Aruna Var was, especially as a child. But we certainly see her reaction in The Foundation of All Desire when she finds out. Not a happy camper!

 

I suppose that's true. They really were "colleagues" in a sense for only a short time.

 

48

For the record, it's "Lunafox R. R. Martin" Did other people pick that up? I'd feel kind of bad if they did >.<

 

Footage (well, photos) of the tunguska event is a really good visual indicator of what explosions do to arboreal environments, if you ever end up needing a future reference.

 

Poor ginx

 

Very interesting. Enough older relatives have died in my family that I've seen that, but I never made the connection to stories.

 

Making up for everything, one might even say.

 

49

I always thought of Liatrix as... wearing a mask, figuratively. But also I suppose I went the easy route and connected that more to Marr's literal mask, than thinking of her mother as also having worn a mask. In my defense it was much more subtle in The Foundation of All Desire than here.

 

50

Yea there was definitely some warm fuzzies in Marr and Vowrawn sort of truly making up at last. Added a little sweetness to and ending that would have otherwise been somewhat bitter and also very rich (in vengeance).

 

 

 

Lunafox, think nothing of it! I enjoy your writing a great deal more than I can accurately convey in words. So, in taking a cue from our military (or the JTF2 motto at least), facta non verba. I do it to show my appreciation for all your own effort! I'm glad I could help in some small way

Edited July 29, 2017 by Diviciacus

[Lunafox]

Answers to answers

 

7)

 

The word counts are a bit frightening when I look at them...the very first, Well of Undying was only around 6522...just a short story. Foundation of All Desire was 211,530. Spy Vs. Spy was 86,991. And, Marr was 136,748 to be precise.

 

8)

 

The more words you use, the more you risk people misunderstanding your message.

 

11)

 

I enjoy seeing rare words as well, it makes the work a bit more special to me. I don't want them every sentence, but occasionally to give a bit of punch to something important is lovely.

 

13)

 

It really did blow my mind and it still gets me whenever I hear it. I just fangirl all over and am like, "That's my line." I think my husband can practically cue it now, when we watch Rogue One lol.

 

17)

 

I found the interjection of typically Christian belief into star wars interesting, like the mention of angels and hell. I can see that they're not concepts that are so far out of line that far away places wouldn't have them too.

 

20)

 

I know of certain events that will happen before I get to writing, and work toward them. I don't really have an outline, I figure out the beginning and the end, the middle I work through and it keeps it interesting if I don't know everything. Having a good memory and some notes goes a long way too. Like with Marr's artificial heart, I'd always felt that about him, even before I wrote the story, he just struck me as such a cool, measured, logical person. So, I knew when I wrote Foundation that he would have measured heartbeats and that they would likely be artificial in nature. So I did that, and of course, by the time I wrote Marr, like a year an half or so later I wanted to include the story of how he got his artificial heart. So, I've been carrying that information around with me a long time. Same with certain mannerisms, like flexing his saber hand, a tick that he passed to Liatrix. She does it too, though it's only with the main saber hand, as she duel wields.

 

22) I've heard it different times...like "those pukes in shipping never get the items out on time." Or those management pukes always eff up the schedule." That sort of thing. I like to think it conveys a certain resentment. Like...there would be resentment by some branches of Imperial services against Reclamation because they see them as getting to travel around and dig and explore...kind of tame when you compare it to the militia. Reclamation is seen as being a bit wimpy, I suppose.

 

26)

 

I'd be referring to both my own stories and Star Wars; there is a lot to remember.

 

29)

 

I think everyone cringes a bit when they go back to reread old work. I do. I think, well that sucked, I could've done that better. Time will do that, it gives you fresh eyes to things you'd miss the first few times. It's nothing to throw yourself onto a lightsaber over. I think also, it was something you said to Mayhem in a comment about your story that got my attention, where you said something to the effect of going back and redoing older parts to make them better. It's up to you, but I almost say, leave it, so that you can see how you've improved and changed over time. It's kind of neat. I look back at Well of Undying and think, well I could've done that better, and cringe at some things...I do it with Foundation too. I think I've grown and evolved as a writer and when you look back at old stuff, you validate yourself a bit, because you do improve when you keep at it.

 

30) I hated writing Bothawui because it's not a battle I found exciting...I hated writing that the Reps got the upper hand, because I'm Imperial at heart when it comes to star wars. Put it this way, I enjoy it when the Reps get ROFLstomped. I don't like it when that happens to the Imps lol. And there were a lot of facts to that, that I needed to get right as well, so it was a bit tedious, making the facts work with what I needed to accomplish.

 

31) Mon Calimari ships, those would be the floating pickles, right?

 

32) Marr was being pissy because he was somewhere, doing something he really didn't care to do. But like you, the parade through DK was one of my favorite parts

 

37) No, I meant KotFE (with the dream sequence in 2), in the sense of running the chapter strictly for the CXP grind. There is a section of Jedi that seem very blind to you, they don't trigger easy when you run through the crowd of them, it's easy to sneak past. It's not so much story as mechanic, but I think it's funny.

 

41) I'm glad too, that the devs seemed to get the message with SoR that solo players shouldn't be deprived of an ending to the story, just because they don't raid. I loved that, and it's part of what made SoR my favorite expansion to date. I hope they never make the story's ending dependant on group activity ever again.

Weird that you ordered the book and it hasn't come? You could always just get a copy of the ebook from Amazon. I don't have anything to do with the retailers...Amazon should give you no grief, hard cover is there too. Barnes and Noble has the hard cover as well...others might no longer include it, because it's a few years old...

 

42) How fun that might have been, if Marr had taken young Theron and turned him into an Imperial lol.

 

43) See, I wouldn't have known that about Brontes' murmurings in your ear, because I've never done the op.

 

45) Yep, still okay to use my Operation Cornerstone in your story. I just ask that whatever you do, doesn't interfere with what I've done in my work (in other words change my history) and just add a note to give credit at the end. But yes, use away and enjoy.

 

46) Ah, my mum is like that too. Always with the one-upmanship. If I was queezy, she'd be full on throwing up according to her. Anything I had or had happen, was always worse when it happened to her.

Love her anyway, but it would drive me up the wall.

 

And thank you. I'm grateful for all I have and to have found the strength to survive hard times. I wasn't sure I would, but I did thankfully.

 

48) Yes you're right, it had been a while, since anyone called me that lol. And Tunguska, should've remembered that from the XFiles.

 

49) Marr, Liaseph and Liatrix, all had their masks. Marr's was the only literal mask, but it had a lot of meaning to him. He looked at the mask like his 'true face' it was so much of who he was. Liaseph developed her mask on DK to survive the social circles she was in contact with and Liatrix, is a combination of the two of them.

 

50) I think warm fuzzies went a long way to make up for the 'final indignity' Vowrawn performed upon Ravage's dying body. I debated if it was too much, but then figured, not something you see in stories, so why not. Run with it lol. I don't think I've ever read one here or anywhere, where the villain got peed on.

 

Thanks again, it means the world. ^^

[Diviciacus]

Answers to answers to answers

 

 

8)

 

A compelling notion. I suppose at some point during university I ended up with the misguided notion that flawless grammar means you can't be misinterpreted but that is spurious at best.

 

11)

 

Indeed! I recall a certain someone being pleased as punch with the use of preternatural (Fun fact: preternatural and supernatural are not actually synonyms. I found that out very recently.)

 

13)

 

As well you should!

 

20)

 

The artificial heart definitely threw me for a loop! I recall the description in The Foundation of All Desire of Marr's heartbeats but I chalked it up to the corrupting influence of the Dark Side. And when the Zanes tried to kill him here I was like "Oh... oh ****!" Haha yea that hand-flex tic led me to guess quite a long time ahead whose daughter Liatrix really was! I really loved that in both stories.

 

29)

 

You bring up a very good point, actually. I re-read The Well of Undying at one point to give myself a break from reviewing Marr and although I mean no offense, it definitely did feel rougher comparatively. I also re-read my old stories and the level of workmanship in them was very inconsistent. Stories about my Shadow definitely had more work and polish put into them because I was extremely careful to make them irreproachable. What I need to start doing is the same for Conquering the Darkest Places, even if it means this week's post is late or even skipped.

 

There is, I suppose, the artist's notion of trying to hide or endlessly fix flaws in their own works. At what point is enough enough and you just have to release it and let it do its thing? Besides, that history is important. Early works can - should, I ought to say - no more be whitewashed or suppressed than world history. The lessons to be learned are immeasurably important.

 

30)

 

Bothawui was just a crapshoot for everyone involved. You must have just loved the ending of SoR and the Ziost storyline then. You'd also get along famously with one of my closest friends. She is Sith Lord through and through, but her husband is textbook Jedi LOL

 

31)

 

Just the one, yes. Most of them were flatter and had much the same basic triangular size and shape of a Star Destroyer

 

41)

 

Oh yea SoR was amazing! Had they done the Dread Masters arc in much the same way I think sub numbers wouldn't have tanked so hard as they did (and have only gotten worse over the years). My one gripe with it was that they stopped doing the exploration/jumping puzzles for datacrons. I miss those, they were so fun! (Although I've noticed my view is counter to most of the community.)

 

43)

 

The worst part about the Dread Fortress operation is that every video on youtube of it you can hardly hear what's going on because the generally-douchey people recording the runs won't shut their pie holes so you can actually hear it. I have screenshots of everything that's said for dialogue in most of the Dread Masters arc raids (I think I skipped a bunch of Scum and Villainy because Styrak only shows up towards the end as kind of a surprise twist boss). I might upload them to IMGUR but I'd have to comb through hundreds of TOR screenshots x_x (Even caused a wipe on a couple of Nightmare bosses because I was too busy screenshotting to do a mechanic...)

 

45)

 

Sent you a message about this for ease of use and to hide potential spoilers from as many people as possible.

 

49)

 

Everyone wears masks if we're being honest with ourselves. Different social situations, often.... other things, other secrets. The Empire by its very nature necessarily engenders a fair amount of the use of masks both literal and figurative, for a multitude of reasons. The truth of a person is far more often a liability than an advantage, and of course on the flip side they are also a shield from teh truth of the Empire.

 

50)

 

I don't think it was too much in the sense that you made it sound like such a "Vowrawn" thing to do that he has a specific euphemism for it. Just another afternoon on Dromund Kaas apparently. It definitely isn't a common thing! I've certainly never seen it before.

 

I also never mentioned it originally because I just realized it but.... I also enjoy the full-circle nature of the Council chamber. Originally deep within Dromund Kaas, then moved into the upper part of the Academy on Korriban, and now because of the Eternal Empire once again upon Dromund Kaas. Very nicely done!

 

 

 

 

And in closing, have some

Edited July 31, 2017 by Diviciacus

[MayhemofChaonus]

Holy cow you guys make long posts! lol XD

[Lunafox]

Holy cow you guys make long posts! lol XD

 

Haha, yeah we do. Birds of a feather it seems lol.

[Diviciacus]

Holy cow you guys make long posts! lol XD

 

My mother told me that whenever I do something, do it right or don't do it at all.

 

Although to be fair to post length, none of these would have been nearly so long had I been a proper audience member and read along instead of bingeing it all at once

[Coge]

Hey Luna,

 

What an amazing story. You do Marr so much justice the way you portray him. I swear when I read your take on him its like getting more from the game but even better. The ending was great too I laughed really hard about Vowrawn. The way you write him too is top notch.

 

I hope you write more soon, I miss your stories. You have an unmistakeable voice and style that's second to none. I mean it. Write more I'm getting withdrawal symptoms.

[Lunafox]

Hey Luna,

 

What an amazing story. You do Marr so much justice the way you portray him. I swear when I read your take on him its like getting more from the game but even better. The ending was great too I laughed really hard about Vowrawn. The way you write him too is top notch.

 

I hope you write more soon, I miss your stories. You have an unmistakeable voice and style that's second to none. I mean it. Write more I'm getting withdrawal symptoms.

 

 

Thanks so much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and felt the characterizations were accurate. Means a lot to know that. *blush* I really appreciate your kind compliment and who knows what the future will bring.

[Paulsutherland]

More Darth Marr!

[Lunafox]

More Darth Marr!

 

Thanks, Paul

 

Well, you never know what the future brings. Thanks for the kind encouragement. Always nice to know I left readers wanting for more.

[Paulsutherland]

Thanks, Paul

 

Well, you never know what the future brings. Thanks for the kind encouragement. Always nice to know I left readers wanting for more.

 

Your Marr stories are great, will you tackle the adventures of Ghost Darth Marr and how the great Darth Imperious/Occlus/Nox goes to hell and back to bring back the Hero of the Empire?!

[Lunafox]

Your Marr stories are great, will you tackle the adventures of Ghost Darth Marr and how the great Darth Imperious/Occlus/Nox goes to hell and back to bring back the Hero of the Empire?!

 

Well, we'll see ghost Marr again, but in The Sanctuary of Regret. Not sure how much Nox will have to do with him, if anything at all, but we'll see him again at some point.