Weird experience with another player

[Pingonaut]

If you didn't wait for an answer before sending the invite I don't really see a problem.

 

I may not have ignored you right away, but I may have entertained the thought. Because in most cases those asking for a group and sending the invite without waiting for an answer either keep sending invites or ask why I declined. Since I'm usually not in the mood to go on declining invites until they get a clue or start explaining myself, it's easier to just put them on ignore and move on.

 

It's most likely not anything you did but the experience the player had with similar requests. At some point one just doesn't bother anymore and uses the easy way out. (They may also just have had a bad day and tried to vent some steam solo'ing. In that case be glad you only got ignored.)

 

I just think ignore should be reserved for better reasons. Think of all the potential group members you would lose by doing that when you're simply "not in the mood" at the time.

[AlienEyeTX]

I just think ignore should be reserved for better reasons. Think of all the potential group members you would lose by doing that when you're simply "not in the mood" at the time.

 

Does it bother you to be on someone's ignore list? If you think they're a jerk for putting you there, they're not the type of person you want to be grouped with anyway.

 

Bottom line: people need to stop being so sensitive to the way other people act. The population is big enough that it should be a non-issue.

[branmakmuffin]

I just think ignore should be reserved for better reasons. Think of all the potential group members you would lose by doing that when you're simply "not in the mood" at the time.

What you think /ignore is best used for and what others think it's best reserved for are not the same thing. If I get a ninja invite, guild or group, I put the person on ignore. That's my business.

[Pingonaut]

What you think /ignore is best used for and what others think it's best reserved for are not the same thing. If I get a ninja invite, guild or group, I put the person on ignore. That's my business.

 

I never told you how to use your ignore, I said how I use mine. No, it doesn't bother me to be on someone's ignore, because I likely don't want to be involved with them either.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Pingonaut

[Khevar]

I didn't know that the party invite window was so big that it could ruin a fight. Getting a party invite in the middle of a fight doesn't make it harder for me to fight.

 

Anyway, I don't invite people in the middle of a fight. So really, I don't see what is so annoying about it outside of fights.

You're pretty set in your viewpoint that there is no distinction between a private message and a blind invite. So I doubt anything I say will change your mind. But here goes ...

 

The party invite is the bare minimum amount of effort on someone's part to be social. I've had plenty of blind invites. Before I started ignoring them, I used to respond and join their group. More often than not, I would have a poor experience.

 

Example: I get a blind invite on Hutta. I accept. The other person then proceeds to run around the market in circles. I keep typing "Did you need help for a quest?", "What did you want to do?". After no response I dropped group. He then challenges me to a duel. I put him on ignore and continue questing.

 

Example: I get a blind invite on Coruscant to do the H2 at the Jedi temple. I was bored at the time so I joined. By the time I get the temple, he's gone. What?? **** THIS GUY.

 

Yet when someone takes the time to type "hey, you want to group up ..." it is a bit more effort. It shows that the person possesses the ability to communicate. In many cases, when I would join their group I would have a good experience.

 

Example: Taris H2. Guy whispers, "can you help me with this quest?" We group up, got to chatting, and I ended up joining his guild.

 

Example: BH H4 Daily. Guy whispers, "do you want to do CtS?". We group up, and since at the time I was pretty overgeared and he/she was a newer player, I ended up giving some tips on CC and Mezzing. Finished the run, I got a nice "thanks" and we ported back to the terminal.

 

Many people have had similar experiences. The solution here is to send a message before a blind invite. It's not "redundant", it is simply being friendly.

[Lunafox]

Well, I'm an introverted sort of person myself...you could even say bordering anti social. I prefer to play by myself or with my hubby if he logs in. I'm in this game for the stories, I like my cut screens, and much of the time when you see me it's with a 'newbie' character, because I'm 'reliving' a story I enjoyed. I don't like to go fast or space bar through things, and that's one reason why I avoid other people like the plague.

 

I also am a bit commitment phobic...I've found in the past that if I group with people, next thing you know they want to group again and again, and its usually to do 'their' stuff. I'd rather not be bothered to do things I don't wish to, I want to play my game on my time for my enjoyment (yes, I'm sure that makes me sound positively evil and selfish).

 

I reckon I have a right to spend my free time as I wish, because in real life, as a mother, and a caregiver to a live in elderly parent, I spent 90% of my time taking care of others needs. For this reason, that's about the last thing I want to do, when I get online. That's for me.

 

If someone talks to me, I'm polite, if someone is struggling I try to help them, but beyond one or two lines of polite conversation, is about my limit, and if people pursue more with me, I make an excuse and log off. I've even been known to change my character's name, just so I won't be on people's friend's list.

 

So in a nutshell, I'm a loner, and I'm greedy with my time. That said, /ignoring someone is a bit extreme, but if you were spamming for party, I'd probably do that too. In fact I think I have auto decline on lol.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Lunafox

[DreadtechSavant]

I don't team up with other players as I prefer playing solo, but there's really no need to be rude about it if asked. Hope your future gaming is better.

Worst experience though for me was one player who kept on asking for a dual, in the end I just logged out, I was new to the game then and did not know how to ignore or set up auto refuse. At the end of the day why would a level 18 player ask a level 3 player for a dual in the first place? Unfortunately you do get the odd **** playing but luckily that's not representative of the majority of players.

[Hyfy]

The blind invite by a visible nearby player, who is obviously doing the same Daily (or other quest with some clicky or enemy that takes time to respawn) is one thing. I happily accept these. Always.

 

The blind invite from some player I cannot even see, without the slightest explanation or communication first: That's something completely different. We shouldn't even be discussing them like they are the same thing.

 

I have no idea in this circumstance what I am even signing up for. If someone wants some help with something I am perfectly willing to lend a hand. But Jesus, is it too much to expect that you ask me first? I usually stop what I'm doing and ask what they want. If at that point they still can't be bothered to talk to me, then I decline. Generally, if they are friendly and just tell me what the hell they want, I will help out.

 

Even then, sometimes there are ridiculous situations:

 

<Invite out of the blue>

"Hello, what do you have in mind?"

"Plz help."

"Uhh, okay... what do you need?"

<Links to quest on Voss>

"Um, I'm on Tatooine doing GSI Dailies. Do we know each other?"

 

 

The weird thing I've noticed is that a majority of the blind invites I get are by Warriors stuck on their class quest on Tatooine. I get so many there when doing GSI. What is it with Warriors? I've done that quest, there was nothing in it that was very hard.

 

I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say probably the sand demon. Either that or the last class quest (don't want to give too much away here).

[branmakmuffin]

I never told you how to use your ignore, I said how I use mine. No, it doesn't bother me to be on someone's ignore, because I likely don't want to be involved with them either.

Given this reply, what's the point of your OP, then?

[teclado]

As others have touched on, I'm betting the guy had been getting spammed with invites and eventually led him to say "WHY?" as in WHY DOES EVERYBODY WANT TO INVITE ME TO GROUP FOR EVERYTHING?!?!?!

 

Sometimes I just feel like playing solo. I won't /ignore people for asking. I politely decline. Sometimes it really is beneficial to group up.

 

Bottom line is: don't feel bad. Just shrug and move on. There's a saying that I learned, in Spanish actually, that I think relates to this: "no te preocuparia tanto lo que piensan los demas de ti si supieras lo poco que lo hacen", meaning "you wouldn't worry so much about what other people think of you if you knew how little they did that." So, understand that the guy probably wasn't really mad at you (he probably wasn't really even thinking about you), he was really mad about some other circumstance or series of circumstances (I'm guessing many invites). You getting on his ignore list was the casualty of his anger about something else. So, you can't fault yourself for something as innocuous as asking somebody nicely, once, if they want to group up. If he gets angry so easily, he's probably somebody that you won't miss anyway.

[CloudCastle]

The blind invite by a visible nearby player, who is obviously doing the same Daily (or other quest with some clicky or enemy that takes time to respawn) is one thing. I happily accept these. Always.

 

The blind invite from some player I cannot even see, without the slightest explanation or communication first: That's something completely different. We shouldn't even be discussing them like they are the same thing.

 

I agree with this. I don't think I've ever sent an invite to someone I don't know in SWTOR, but in LOTRO I used to if the person was standing next to me and obviously about to attack the same mob or boss. Sometimes I would try to type out a request to join first but invariably, they jumped into battle, tagging the mob before I could get my question out and by then of course it was too late.

 

In these cases I would invite first in order to catch them before they ran in, and then follow up with a "you about to do <blank>?"

 

I don't see anything wrong with this type of scenario. In fact, I took it be common courtesy in that game.

 

I haven't encountered the same scenario as often here. But I would never be upset at someone for inviting me if it were obvious that we were about to attack the same thing and there were limited mob/resources for the quest. I would of course prefer a confirmation message or at least a 'hi" if I accepted the invite afterwards.

 

However, sending random invites to people that are nowhere in visible range is...bizarre.

 

There is a difference between the person who is inviting randomly or demanding help without asking, and the person who is trying to be polite by helping the other person not have to wait for respawns.

[Hyfy]

Well, I'm an introverted sort of person myself...you could even say bordering anti social. I prefer to play by myself or with my hubby if he logs in. I'm in this game for the stories, I like my cut screens, and much of the time when you see me it's with a 'newbie' character, because I'm 'reliving' a story I enjoyed. I don't like to go fast or space bar through things, and that's one reason why I avoid other people like the plague.

 

I also am a bit commitment phobic...I've found in the past that if I group with people, next thing you know they want to group again and again, and its usually to do 'their' stuff. I'd rather not be bothered to do things I don't wish to, I want to play my game on my time for my enjoyment (yes, I'm sure that makes me sound positively evil and selfish).

 

I reckon I have a right to spend my free time as I wish, because in real life, as a mother, and a caregiver to a live in elderly parent, I spent 90% of my time taking care of others needs. For this reason, that's about the last thing I want to do, when I get online. That's for me.

 

If someone talks to me, I'm polite, if someone is struggling I try to help them, but beyond one or two lines of polite conversation, is about my limit, and if people pursue more with me, I make an excuse and log off. I've even been known to change my character's name, just so I won't be on people's friend's list.

 

So in a nutshell, I'm a loner, and I'm greedy with my time. That said, /ignoring someone is a bit extreme, but if you were spamming for party, I'd probably do that too. In fact I think I have auto decline on lol.

 

Just so you know, using a name change will not remove your name from their friends list. They may not be able to figure out who it is at that point, but the name you changed to is on their list.

[Sajiius]

Maybe he was an EVE Online player?

[FabulousDoctor]

I've never ignored someone, but I have had someone whine at me for declining invites with the reasoning of 'we're doing the same quest!'

 

 

Yes, we are, but you're a level 46 in a level 50 area and are wearing all greens, I will have better luck soloing!

 

 

I find that most people who want to group constantly are... really poor at the game, no offence to anyone. I've had good groups and bad groups, but way more were bad than good.

[branmakmuffin]

I reckon I have a right to spend my free time as I wish,

This right here.

[teclado]

Maybe he was an EVE Online player?

I've played eve since 2006. I still have one active account (although my activity has been seriously waning). I don't understand what you mean by that. Eve necessitates working with others, unless you have an army of alts. Even so, for things like null sovereignty, you have to be a part of a major alliance bloc in order to achieve anything significant. Hi sec loners can do everything themselves without interacting with another person, but if you do that, your interactions with other people will likely be mostly negative (suicide ganks, can flipping, scammers, etc.). I guess maybe that's what you're referring to?

Edited January 23, 2014 by teclado

[Lunafox]

Just so you know, using a name change will not remove your name from their friends list. They may not be able to figure out who it is at that point, but the name you changed to is on their list.

 

Aw really? Wow, I thought it would remove it altogether. Well thanks for the heads up. Like you said, they probably didn't figure it out...

 

You know, I really wish, that you could hide your online status...and I'm not really jazzed by the idea that anyone can add you to their list, and you don't know it...

 

And you should have the right to remove yourself, I think. Don't really want to hurt anyone's feelings or anything, but I don't befriend people very often.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Lunafox

[Lunafox]

This right here.

 

I think hell must have just done froze over lol. I don't think you've ever approved of anything I've said before

[Vorpaledged]

There is an option in Preferences/Social that allows you to disable Group Invites and Guild Invites, if the player the OP stated didn't want to be invited that should have already been done. It's been mentioned before this is an MMO, grouping and socializing is a integral part of this game! That being said, I do not like getting group invites, unless the person is someone I know or asks me first and I agree to group up.

IMO we are all speculating what was going through the players head, at the time, when the OP first whispered him. No one knows and can say that the OP was right or wrong, as we don't know if that player actually gets mad at people for blind inviting or whispering him twice. The OP should also not take things to personal as it's common for situations like this to happen.

On the bright side neither of you got into a confrontation and you can both go on with playing. I'll be speculating but maybe the player hit Ignore on accident and is not familiar with the terms in the game. We'll never know!

Edited January 23, 2014 by Vorpaledged

[well]

I don't team up with other players as I prefer playing solo, but there's really no need to be rude about it if asked. Hope your future gaming is better.

Worst experience though for me was one player who kept on asking for a dual, in the end I just logged out, I was new to the game then and did not know how to ignore or set up auto refuse. At the end of the day why would a level 18 player ask a level 3 player for a dual in the first place? Unfortunately you do get the odd **** playing but luckily that's not representative of the majority of players.

 

lol That has happen to me on starter island before.After the second decline the next time the person tried I just told them to make like sheep and flock off.Put them on ignore to really irritated the person.People that don't group up because of a invite doesn't make them anti-social.They may be chatty kathys on fleet or people that group with their guild.Who knows.I know some folks have divine inspiration from their pet rock and it makes them all knowing and seeing but I going to take a wild guess and say they are wrong.

[Kane_Ren]

Someone thinking I'm offering to group because I want carrying through would be mistaken. If a fresh 50 wanted to compete for resources, mobs and clickies - they would lose. I regularly offer for the same reasons as the OP, its a genuine offer and maybe we could do all the dailies. If we work well as a team, i'll even add them to my friends list. Make no mistake though, if someone is rude and abusive after a simple /whisper want to group for this? I'll summon treek,aggro everything in sight, pop off my Heroic moment and unity and click every clicky I can get to. I've done it before and realised the player who felt free to throw profanities, had a rig that could barely run the game at minimum settings.

Play nice, I'm nice in return.

If you don't, then I don't.

Very simple rules I use.

[horrorfaneightys]

Aw really? Wow, I thought it would remove it altogether. Well thanks for the heads up. Like you said, they probably didn't figure it out...

 

You know, I really wish, that you could hide your online status...and I'm not really jazzed by the idea that anyone can add you to their list, and you don't know it...

 

And you should have the right to remove yourself, I think. Don't really want to hurt anyone's feelings or anything, but I don't befriend people very often.

 

Well I didn't know other players could do that - and that explains why some random player that I spoke to for a few minutes once kept whispering me for a few days every time I logged on as one pub character. I thought it was odd that they seemed to always be there whenever I logged on. I guess they added that character to their friend list.

[Andryah]

I'm referring to the forum/thread backlash he's recieving. And it seems he wasn't that bothered by the /ignore. He was making a casual observation, curious about the behavior, and sharing his experience.

 

Ummm.. he specifically asked for our feedback on what we thought. He did not stipulate any parameters as to what feedback was allowed in this thread.

 

Again... his intentions were good IMO.. HOWEVER... based on his description of events..he did send an invite without the other persons consent. I would not have put him on /ignore for that but I would in fact have ignored his tells after that point. The random stranger likely did it to send a message to the OP about invites without consent.

 

The OP presumed that since he asked via tell, regardless of the tell response he received back, he was entitled to toss an invite (based on how it was presented to us). That is, IMO, both presumptuous and rude, but certainly not any form of tragedy. Not everyone is going to respond favorably to an invite without consent from a random stranger.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Andryah

[ZETA_SCORPII]

Some people just enjoy questing solo, others feel the need to constantly be social. There is nothing wrong with either preference and after a long night of raiding I actually enjoy the peace and quiet of running a few dailies solo. Putting you on ignore is a bit extreme but who knows what crappy group experiences that person has been through.

[branmakmuffin]

Some people just enjoy questing solo, others feel the need to constantly be social. There is nothing wrong with either preference and after a long night of raiding I actually enjoy the peace and quiet of running a few dailies solo. Putting you on ignore is a bit extreme but who knows what crappy group experiences that person has been through.

Extreme? Reporting for harassment under those circumstances would have been "extreme." But adding someone to ignore is never "extreme."