Infernixx Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I am called Khem Val, Servant of Tulak Hord, and devourer of the rebels at Yn and Chabosh, consumer of the Dromund system, and I am freezing my scarred *** off. I come to you today, demanding justice. My Master, a puny little Sith, insists on taking me to Hoth even though I have but a loincloth and Deshade dignity. They laugh at Khem when I come back onboard and immediately head to engine room to heat myself in heat exhaust from engine. Hear me, Developers. Give me armor and clothing that appear on my form or I shall find you and devour you whole! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iFruit Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 'Insolent worm!' *Slaps Khem* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshthecook Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dear Bioware; I am writing to you per Code 77 subsection 2 of the Galactic Republic Military Interplanetary Communication Guideline stating my requisition of higher quality air filters for the BT-7 Thunderclap. Despite C2-N2s best efforts, the droid is incapable of detecting the varied odors of a demolitions expert Weequay, a archaeology obsessed Gand and at time a Male Cathar in heat. Not all the Alderaanin nectar in the known regions could cover up the, to put it politely, smells that drift through the ship from time to time. Signed Sgt Elara Dorn: Havoc Squad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slafko Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dear BioWare, Did I mention I'm a pacifist? T. Cedrax Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sentanta Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dear Bioware - would it be at all possible to get my own kettle in my quarters - I truly love tea but I don't like sharing the galley with the others as they are all more than a little strange (a Rakghoul, a Killik, a heuristic Droid who keeps threatening EVERYONE and a very angry Rattataki called Kaliyo) I wish to have my own kettle as I am sure that Kaliyo is constantly spitting in my tea. Please grant me this lowly wish of my own kettle. Yours sincerely, Ensign Raina Temple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Przemo_No Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 (edited) Declaration: Greetings, Masters! There's no point of having any discussions currently. We should urgently proceed with eliminating the remaining meatbags. HK-51 Edited March 21, 2013 by Przemo_No typo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_biddan_ Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 (edited) jaesa: i sense...QQing...hate...and noobness!no!what sort of sith trick is this i would have known if the forums were so full of retarded people! (not referring to this post obviously) Edited March 21, 2013 by _biddan_ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alec_Fortescue Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 (edited) "I am Skadge and I am such a jerk I seriously wonder why that Mandalorian didn't throw me out of the airlock yet! I heard that he would be able to do it in the early 2012. What happened Bioware? I guess I have to thank you." Edited March 21, 2013 by Alec_Fortescue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ardarell_Solo Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Whiners! Get a life! Me, I have got no time posting stuff on a stupid internet forum while outside ladies are lining up. Gotta go, folks... Doc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tatile Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dear Bioware, Nerf lifts. Sincerely, Everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyCanukk Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 "I think Crazycanukk is the sexiest man on the planet earth. " Mako Ok ..she really didnt say that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dashiar Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 T7: Earth\=existance in swtor//CrazyKanuk/=sexy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexDougherty Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dear BioWare, Did I mention I'm a pacifist? T. Cedrax Yes, just before you shoot people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevlarto Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dear BioWare, Did I mention I'm a pacifist? T. Cedrax REPLY: Repulic Command, Only a Million Times end transmission Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlrikFassbauer Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Bear Bioware, I'm more than happy to be assigned to help and support the new owner of "my" ship. However, in order to be able to serve the abovementioned owner even better, I demand the installation of several upgrade routines into my Verbo-Brain, so that I can more readily answer to the owner's wishes. I ask especially for much better species-specific behaviour-scanning technology, so that I can understand the owner's and his/her companions intentions more clearly. A crate of Alderaanean Honey for pleasing the owner's nostrils would be nice, too. Sincerely, C2-N2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlaricSevGirl Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dear Bioware, I enjoy being the padawan of my master Arisable. She is one of the finest jedi I know but I'm tired of being left on the ship whenever there's technology involved. I'm a geeky jedi. I can handle it but you think I can't and my master had to go along with you because that's how you wrote her story and then of course out of my curiosity I got captured by the sith. If you had just let me go with her, none of this would have happened. Give me a break Bioware. You think that puny little droid can fight better than I can with my double bladed lightsaber? By the way, thank you for allowing me to close my lightsaber after I finish fighting. I was getting searing pains across my neck from it. And I'm cuter than Mako by the way... Yours Truly, Kira Carsen, Jedi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benfynyn Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dear Bioware, I have had a glorious time locked in a death struggle with those Imperial dogs but I've found that the fights have become less challenging. Therefore I took the liberty to compile a list of (see attached file) of targets worthy of Havoc Squad! With your permission, I will begin planning our campaign of liberation immeidately! Sincerely, M1-4X P.S. For the Republic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlienEyeTX Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dear Bioware, I have been subject to inhumane treatment since coming into the service of Lord Starscream. I have been locked aboard her starship and have not seen the outside galaxy in months. I am starving and weak. At least, that's how I was before meeting Lord Starscream. Now my condition is deteriorating. To make matters worse, I am now locked in a closet with Xalek. We are never separated, as we are both prisoners on this tiny fury-class ship. Help us to become strong so that we may serve our master well. Sincerely, Ashara Zavros Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarryRow Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Dear Bioware, Please give us healing specs so that we may see the light of day. Signed, -All nonhealing companions OR Dear Bioware, Nerf shock collars. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get back to Sith business. (Grrr) -Vette Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlaricSevGirl Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 (edited) Dear Bioware... Oh no, if my master catches me sending this to you, she will send me out the air lock. Why, oh why, did you give me voice modulation. I can't help but to say something every time she is near me. Do you understand what you've done to me? She's a Sith juggernaut. She threatens to force choke me every time she walks by because she can't stand my incessant chatter. I desperately need to shut up but I can't. I just can't do it. Please help me. Desperate on the Fury... 2V-R8 Edited March 21, 2013 by AlaricSevGirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthGile Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 (edited) Jaesa (Light): Dear Bioware, I think something's wrong with my master. As I train and further enhance my passive clarity, I sense dark-side energy coming from him whenever I do my daily workout. And just the other day, he requested that I bare his children to continue his legacy. I felt dark-side influence when he asked such a request from me. Please help. I do not want to be the reason for my master's fall to the dark side! And I don't even know what I'm doing to cause this! I'm sorry, Bioware. I get caught up in the moment and forget my place. I will be calm about this. *walks away and meditates* T7-01: Bioware = maker // Help requested! T7 + Kira = playing holochess all day long // T7 = always wins // T7 = bored Jedi = always chooses Doc for dailies // T7 = requests med-unit + kolto-packs for Jedi T7 + Jedi = unstoppable again! Edited March 21, 2013 by DarthGile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dashiar Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 T7= Need help! Jedi + Kira = Couple Kira = Ignore T7 T7= lonely T7 = request vibro upgrade for servo arm Kira = Like T7 again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyCanukk Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 T7= Need help! Jedi + Kira = Couple Kira = Ignore T7 T7= lonely T7 = request vibro upgrade for servo arm Kira = Like T7 again dats just naughty.. you sir win an Internet cookie.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illyean Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 to whom it may concern having knelt and watched my sith warrior master nail some old hag of a sith, sat with friends and waited while he took my best friend out back and gave her a good seeing to. Then to my horror when he helped me free my sister he took payment in kind with her. Now I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with him and thought he might take this shock collar off, but no, he has some dark side floozy flouncing about and making herself all available for him any time he fancies. seriously? can I go live with my old girlfriend Risha and that cute smuggler she has charmed into her life? Vette Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlesian Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 This is awesome Keep 'em coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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