Aramyth Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) I've been playing MMOs since I started FFXI over 10 years ago. I was young when I started playing and have always created male characters. I felt like it helped to avoid the whole getting treated differently for being a girl, and all the rest of that. When I started SWTOR I followed the same thing, old habits die hard I guess, and I created a male Trooper. However, once I joined my guild and started using voice chat with them, it was obvious I was female. Everyone in my guild has been cool and we have a couple of other girls in the guild as well. We run a teamspeak server and recently put our photos as avatars for fun. However, recently, we had a situation where we had a pug DPS join our OPs group because we were missing a dps. We invited him into TS and the second he noticed that I was a girl, I started getting tells from him almost right away. I have no idea how young/old he was, but I'm 26 and am not in the mood to have guys flirting with me over an MMO. I also haven't seen anything like this in a while, nor heard of it, and figured it was a dying thing with mmos where guys have finally realised that "yeah, girls play too." But apparently not. Edit: Let me add by saying a few things: 1) No. This does not shock me. I was just hoping that the MMO community has a whole has grown away from the flirt with females in a video game mentality. But I realize after posting this that expecting a community which will always have younger people in it, makes that impossible, which makes this whole thread pointless. 2) I wasn't complaining. I wasn't attention whoring. I was just merely bringing it up as a topic of discussion. I had no intention to insulting anyone either. If I have, then I apologize. 3) I graduated from college where in my major (programming) the male to female ratio was 25:1. So yes, I am used to being 'outnumbered', around some socially awkward guys, and also being treated as one of the guys sometimes. I'm also used to guys flirting with me, even when I have no interest in men. Edited January 18, 2013 by Aramyth Content Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNCommand Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Some guys will hit on girls, some guys will bully girls, that goes for MMOs and real life, this is nothing special, at least it sounds like most people you play with don't act like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrobearx Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 personally, i dont care if your female or male, as long you do your job nothing matters. i never understood why dudes act like that "OMGZ UR A FEEL MAN, FO REELZ?" you guys realized if you walk out your house and go into another building e.g. store,school, postal office.. you will see these feel mans walking around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Darkstar Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Haha I have seen this myself (Male). Nothing so bad as a direct come on mind you, more the hopelessly enamoured "I will do whatever you want because I think you are pretty" type. It was very amusing the watch On the flip side my girlfriend is hugely jealous of a girl I used to talk to on an MMO (I also talked to that girls boyfriend) so I guess people are people wherever you are. And you know how creepy guys can be given half the chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pudim Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Why are you bothered by guys flirting with you ingame? Men will hit on women inside of a game and outside too, it doesnt make any difference Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacen_Starsolo Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 FFXI was 10 years ago? Whoa. Time flies. But what did he say? Was it rude or trying to act like this was another EA failed MMO called The Sims Online? And ask for a virtual date. (People who worry so much about it, don't get real life dates anyhow and pixels are as close as they will ever get) I too think it's so early 1990s thinking that way. I had a girl get me to start playing EVE and AO. Another girl got me into The Sims Online beta then later apologized for subjecting me to that POS. However, the ONLY cool person I met in that beta had a girl avatar but she was cool because of her attitude of trying to help anyone and everyone that asked. Yes, I assumed it was a guy but really was a girl that I kept in touch with after TSO. Again, people who care so much about pixels and get all hot over them need to get out of the parent's basement and join the real world for once in their miserable lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacen_Starsolo Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Why are you bothered by guys flirting with you ingame? Men will hit on women inside of a game and outside too, it doesnt make any difference So you were the one that tried to hot chat this http://www.motifake.com/all-gods-children-are-not-beautiful-god-ugly-girl-teeth-demotivational-posters-152409.html WTG. Big props that you are that brave, bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SithKoriandr Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I've seen it happen on both sides of gender line and both sides of the orientation line. It's not an OMG you're a female player. It's that there are people who think MMO = dating service. I'm still amazed that people think they can judge a person's gender by their avatar and their text speech and how they act in game. Been playing MMOs for a long time now, and I can tell you that player you think is an *** can in fact be a girl. That player you think is a sweet girl can in fact be a guy. Also, let's be honest, cybering is popular in MMOs, so when those who do cyber find out more info on someone, it just increases the behavior such as you mentioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drudenfusz Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Why are you bothered by guys flirting with you ingame? Men will hit on women inside of a game and outside too, it doesnt make any difference There is a difference, because they guys hitting on girls in games do it differently. Sure, there might be guys who also don't get when they meet a girl on the street, but in games all the normal shy guys do stuff they normally don'T do and so their flirt technique is more of a harass than anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breger Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 <snip> I agree with Jacen. Sometimes it is related to the character you are playing, when no TS or other voicechat is involved. I have been hit on myself, merely because I happen to have a female character or two, which apparently equals gurrlzz playing. The whole "Female Gamer" thing is still around, but I personally don't think it is as prevalent anymore. Not at this particular moment in time. Of course, if I were to talk to every single woman who plays this game, I'd probably hear a few stories confirming/denying that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joesixxpack Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 It's time for this thread again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacen_Starsolo Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 There is a difference, because they guys hitting on girls in games do it differently. Sure, there might be guys who also don't get when they meet a girl on the street, but in games all the normal shy guys do stuff they normally don'T do and so their flirt technique is more of a harass than anything else. Sorry but too easy to say this. Next time it happens to you, tell the goober "Your flirt technique is WEAK with that one." But may be they use MMOs for practice on how to get their flirt better. Sad though since they are probably barking up the wrong tree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darka Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I think the social aspect of MMOs does seem to encourage people. Maybe its something they grow out of, we have a few female gamers with us over the years, most had run into some sort of online creeping. I guess some people will do it anywhere, anyway, or maybe its a younger thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aramyth Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) FFXI was 10 years ago? Whoa. Time flies. lol It's been longer even. I think it came out in 2002. And funny you mention TSO because I played that as well. It truly was a horrible game. As for being bothered by it, well, I'm not. I just find it strange for people to want to flirt with people in an MMO. It's an MMO not a dating service. lol I'm just stunned that the community overall hasn't matured beyond this. Then again, now that I am typing this out, that seems like a ridiculous hope to have because there will always be someone who doesn't have the same view. As for what this guy said to me, he started to compliment me on how I looked and started to call me love. XD My guild mates have been awesome though. When this guy rejoined our teamspeak after the ops was over, roughly 3 hours later, they started asking him why he was back. Then made a channel called the Creeper Cell and moved him to it. It was definitely entertaining. Edited January 17, 2013 by Aramyth content Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionflash Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 ... am not in the mood to have guys flirting with me... Welcome to planet earth. This happens in bars, in coffee shops, in school, at work and in public. Should be kinda flattering, I guess. now that that's outta the way... I've been playing MMOs since I started FFXI over 10 years ago. ... it was obvious I am female. ...I'm 26 .... Wats yo name, wats yo numba girl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SithKoriandr Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I think the social aspect of MMOs does seem to encourage people. Maybe its something they grow out of, we have a few female gamers with us over the years, most had run into some sort of online creeping. I guess some people will do it anywhere, anyway, or maybe its a younger thing? Not a younger thing. And likely something to do with stories of "I met the love of my life online/in an mmo" encouraging them, cause the stories of "Our marriage ended because one of us was a dumb*** and decided to hook up with someone we met in game, now the relationship is over and the other never got anywhere" arent popular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darka Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I did have a guildie who had their wife play, then their wife ran off with some guy she met in the game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthOvertone Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I also haven't seen anything like this in a while, nor heard of it, and figured it was a dying thing with mmos where guys have finally realised that "yeah, girls play too." But apparently not. What is this you guys stuff? One dude gets out of line and then you overgeneralize that occurrence to the entire male population in SWTOR? Even make a QQ thread about it. Get over yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiken Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 There is a difference, because they guys hitting on girls in games do it differently. Sure, there might be guys who also don't get when they meet a girl on the street, but in games all the normal shy guys do stuff they normally don'T do and so their flirt technique is more of a harass than anything else. I laughed at this because is true the few times I've witness a flirt conversation in an MMO it goes like this: Male: Hi Female: Hi Male: are you a girl? Female: Yes Male: No WAY ! can I have your facebook? Male: are you there? Male: hello? Female: Oh sorry I was afk. (probably not) Male: How old are you? Male: hey, how old are you? Female: 26 and you? (Trying to see if he gets the hint, but stills answers to be polite) Male: I am 27 Male: are you hot? Female: I don't know, maybe. Male: awesome, can i have you facebook? Male: hey can i have your facebok? Male: are you there? Female has gone offline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SithKoriandr Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I did have a guildie who had their wife play, then their wife ran off with some guy she met in the game I've seen it happen multiple times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benfynyn Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 "Hey baby, what's your spec?" *waggles eyebrows suggestively* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiken Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Well one thing is for sure, Guild Masters and Officers get all the chicks, if you are not either of those you are not hooking up in the Interwebz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joesixxpack Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 TL;DR? After more than a decade of MMOs OP is still surprised by antisocial and moronic bahavior online. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacen_Starsolo Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 lol It's been longer even. I think it came out in 2002. And funny you mention TSO because I played that as well. It truly was a horrible game. As for being bothered by it, well, I'm not. I just find it strange for people to want to flirt with people in an MMO. It's an MMO not a dating service. lol I'm just stunned that the community overall hasn't matured beyond this. Then again, now that I am typing this out, that seems like a ridiculous hope to have because there will always be someone who doesn't have the same view. As for what this guy said to me, he started to compliment me on how I looked and started to call me love. XD My guild mates have been awesome though. When this guy rejoined our teamspeak after the ops was over, roughly 3 hours later, they started asking him why he was back. Then made a channel called the Creeper Cell and moved him to it. It was definitely entertaining. First time I played a female character was in City of Heroes (or actually Villains as it was a villain). I always put bios on my characters and some random guy told me he loved the one I made for a character. I said thanks. He asked if he could make a character that would be my character's sibling and would I mind. I said go for it seeing how I thought odds of running into him again was slim and none. But because of that, I thought cool idea making characters siblings so made my character have his younger brother join the heroes. When Villains hit, I figured they needed a sister. And low and behold, the "sister" got hit on. Most understood to stop when I said they were so going down the wrong path. However, while with the VG running our STF saturdays (do nothing but TFs all day), a guy wanted me to spend time with him. I said first "busy" but he wouldn't stop. So told him "Do you have any clue who I might be?" Again, the stupid with him was strong so I played on it. I finally told him to meet me Grandville where I'd be after the TF was over. He was in his mid 20's. Told him to go to the other side of GV. Hours went by as we did 2 TFs and he was still sending whispers even though I stopped answering. When we got done, I told my VG to watch for Broadcast to have an "accidental" mistell. So went to where he waited for hours. He said: I died like 20 times waiting on you. And had to keep coming back. I said: Sorry about that. He said: I can always wait for a lady. I said ("accidental" mistell into Broadcast): Since you want it so bad, (the guy's character name), I need to tell you I get paid 1 million creds to hot chat. My VG group started making fun of him in broadcast until he logged out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ifolad Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 This is one of the major reasons why i have a strict policy of not guilding people under the age of 21. Our guild leader might disagree with me but I am one of the person's responsible for inviting new toons. Here's a list of pre-req's and tests I run people through to make sure they're what we're looking for. I understand the person in question was a pug but none-the less i'm talking about straight up guild guidelines for my own personal use. 1:) my guild uses vent they must have vent and USE it and have a mic, this prevents little tweens from lying about their age as 9 times out of 10 you can't fake maturity or the tone of your voice. 2:) We only guild people over the age of 21 ( either actual age or maturity level) this also prevents any lawsuits that may happen if one of the kiddos decides to use his age as a shield after he says some rude things trying to "be cool". 3:) I only guild people whom i have ran fp's or ops or pvp'd with on a regular occasion, yes i'm aware of the possible good players I could be missing out on and this is unfortunate but also a risk i'm willing to take to avoid little kids in my guild. again no offense to those of you born post 1990 but sorry we're an ADULT guild. 4:) we don't discriminate against religion, creed, sexual orientation, sex, race, or anything else. We're an adult guild and only discriminate against the younger population in terms of getting membership in guild. 5:) I take great pride in maintaining an adult casual atmosphere in our guild and I do not want it ruined by a loudmouth regardless of age and we are not shy about enforcing this rule by booting someone out of guild. These are some of the guidelines i follow so that all of our guildies male and female alike don't have to worry about uncomfortable situations. Just my 2 cents. I"m sorry some douche bag got an enraged epeen from hearing a woman's (your) voice and decided that meant it was ok for him to pursue you romantically. Take heart though not all of us dudes are like that, in fact most of us have girlfriends whom play the game and try to maintain a friendly atmosphere for all. Take it easy and I hope you never have to deal with that situation again. -Ifolad -Ifo -ifo'lek -rhodea Guild Operations Officer for The Elder Alliance Militia on The Shadowlands server Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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