Spoiler Warning: Sith Warrior Sevasht Warwiggins (3SWar)

[bright_ephemera]

...you've lost me.

Yeah, I'm kind of confused as well... I think bright's going off story-line now.

No, I mean why would he try war droids again? Honestly, the man learns from mistakes and never tries the same thing twice.

...alright. I think the first time he just blew Sevasht up.

Oh, right. Stupid medical revive probes...

Indeed.

 

Both Vette's collar-complaining and Quinn's continuing murder attempts are, at this point, off-story. Quinn will at least make an effort to integrate his backstabbing into the game's questline - you know, usually on the way to or from what's actually supposed to be going on - because he's an efficient guy like that, but yeah, in this universe he doesn't just give up and turn loyal to the Warrior because of one little setback. If he does that, he'll never find out what the "ragequit" Baras promised is...

 

So we've got 'explosives' and 'war droids' already tried as methods. Plenty of alternatives are still out there!

Edited October 24, 2012 by bright_ephemera

[bright_ephemera]

---

 

- A shuttle pad on Corellia. Sevasht and Quinn move to intercept a middle-aged swaggering smuggler type. And by smuggler we mean secret agent. -

Agent: Well, well. Some days you just can't land secretly on a planet.

- frame: The agent strolls up to face the two. -

Agent: You're the apprentice Darth Baras thought he'd killed. Wow. I've studied you, y'know. You're a personal hero of mine.

Sevasht: You have got to be kidding me.

Quinn: Another stalker, my lord?

Sevasht: Another stalker. Vette was right. I have to get proactive. I have to find somebody to creep on, because this arrangement is ridiculously one-sided.

Agent: I wasn't finished admiring your exploits, Sith.

Sevasht: I know my exploits! I was there! Get away from me, you scary creepy man!

Agent: I'm afraid I have to kill you. I've imagined fighting you. Planned it.

- frame: Quinn opens his mouth, looking concerned. The agent talks over him. -

Agent: I've got a good idea of what to do.

- frame: A scowling Sevasht one-shots the agent. -

- frame: Quinn and Sevasht stand over the fallen agent. -

Quinn: A pity, really. I would have liked to compare notes with him on how to kill you.

Sevasht: I wouldn't!

 

---

 

 

- Corellia. Sevasht listens to Servant Eleven on holo while his crew looks on. -

Servant Eleven: We have finally located Vowrawn's hidden base.

Sevasht: Finally? Wouldn't he have just told us? He's our ally.

Servant Eleven: He…doesn't know that part yet. Actually he assumes you're still Baras's man and a sworn enemy.

Sevasht: …

Quinn: My lord, if you wish to stalk someone, you might consider Darth Vowrawn. Evidently no one else is interested in giving us accurate information about him.

 

---

 

 

- Corellia. Sevasht listens to Servant Eleven on holo while his crew looks on. -

Servant Eleven: Vowrawn works in a Corellian office building deep in Republic territory. His guards are Imperial troops dressed as Republic soldiers while serving Vowrawn. Got all that?

Sevasht: I think so.

- An office lobby on Corellia. Sevasht & co. enter to meet a squad in Republic uniform: Vowrawn's disguised guard. -

'Republic' Leader: Halt, Evil Sith Who I'm Opposed To! I'm very Republic and you're not!

Sevasht: Relax, I know we're on the same side. Probably.

'Republic' Leader: I have no idea what you're talking about, Evil Sith Who I'm Opposed To.

Pierce: Permission to kill 'em all, milord?

Sevasht: They're fellow Imperials!

Pierce: They're clearly pretending not to be. Fair game.

'Republic' Leader: Sorry, my lord, but we're really not on your side right now.

- frame: The 'Republic' leader signals. Gas starts pouring in from vents around the room. -

– frame: Quinn slips on a gas mask immediately, as do Vowrawn's 'Republic' forces. -

[FIGHT]

- wider frame: Sevasht's party is overcome by gas and the 'Republic' squad; Quinn, protected by his gas mask, is firing at Sevasht. -

 

---

 

 

- An office lobby on Corellia. The poison gas is slowly clearing; Quinn, wearing a gas mask, is directing a handful of Vowrawn's guards, similarly masked. -

Quinn: Well done. I shall see to cleanup here; return to your posts. FOR THE EMPIRE.

- frame: Vowrawn's forces head out. The gas continues to disperse. Quinn leans over Sevasht. -

Quinn: ?

- frame: Sevasht revives via medical probe droid. -

- frame: Sevasht dusts his armor off. -

Quinn: My lord. Can we speak freely?

Sevasht: Yeah. The others don't revive 'til I say so.

Quinn: Noted.

Sevasht: You tipped Vowrawn's people off about us coming, huh?

Quinn: Yes, my lord. They believe I was an undercover Vowrawn loyalist reporting you to protect Vowrawn from your approach. I called ahead to suggest they lay this trap.

Sevasht: Not bad, not bad. That was a painful death.

Quinn: You're too kind, my lord.

- frame: Sevasht starts the Sith Warrior regeneration animation. Quinn takes off his gas mask. -

Quinn: I was curious to see what would happen when I killed you again. This appears to have had minimal impact.

Sevasht: I'm sure Darth Baras will be pleased anyway.

Quinn: I hope so. Will it contribute to this 'ragequit' he has spoken of?

Sevasht: I'm not telling.

- frame: Sevasht lounges against the wall, looking at Quinn. -

Sevasht: You were curious, huh? You know, I always thought you were a drone incapable of thought outside the bounds of a tactical sandbox.

Sevasht: The fact that you pieced together your role in the metaphysical hierarchy of companion vs. player character is mind-boggling. I never thought you had it in you.

Quinn: I play dumb most of the time, my lord.

Sevasht: Ah. Well, it works.

- frame: Quinn looks annoyed. Sevasht grins. -

Sevasht: You figured it out, you carried out your boss's orders to kill me even knowing that it would lead into a total unknown, and you're not even slightly bothered. Brains, nerve, and the most terrifying work ethic I've ever seen…I hate to say it, but I'm starting to respect you.

Quinn: Thank you, my lord.

Sevasht: And as long as we're stuck together…well, you're not all bad, Mal.

- frame. Quinn stares, alarmed. -

Quinn: What did you just call me?

Sevasht: Mal.

- frame. Sevasht grins maliciously. -

Sevasht: Little tip I picked up from Vette. There are things I can't change, like being with you while you're perpetually trying to kill me. And there are things you can't change, like any indignities I can think of to heap upon you as retribution.

Quinn: …well played, my lord.

- frame: Quinn sulks. -

 

---

 

 

- An office lobby in Corellia. Sevasht's crew is slowly standing up. -

Sevasht: Close one, guys, but we cleared the gas in time.

Quinn: Yes. We avoided death.

Sevasht: Exactly.

Quinn: No one died here.

Sevasht: It was brilliant, really.

Pierce: Didn't I see Quinn in the process of shooting you when I passed out?

- Sevasht and Quinn exchange looks. -

Sevasht: Nope.

Quinn: I was shooting an enemy very close to him.

Sevasht: Yup. No worries.

Pierce: It's just that you're Darth Baras's spy, see, and that looked an awful lot like you led us into a trap that you alone were prepared to survive.

- frame: Sevasht and Quinn look very awkward. Sevasht is shading towards resignation. -

Quinn: Lieutenant, that's an outrageous accusation.

Sevasht: But an accurate one. It would take too long to explain, Pierce. Quinn's a backstabbing weasel, but he stays with us. Period.

Pierce: You have the strangest taste in support staff, milord.

Sevasht: Believe me, I know.

 

---

 

 

- The office lobby in Corellia. Broonmark and Jaesa are already looking restless. -

Jaesa: Any guards left to kill?

Sevasht: Yes, I'm sure there's more on the way to Vowrawn's office.

Jaesa: Yay!

- frame: The crew files into the hallway, Jaesa bounding in the lead. -

Sevasht, muttering to Quinn: You won't betray us in there, too, will you?

Quinn: I had nothing planned, my lord, but if a really good opportunity comes up...

- Quinn coughs. -

Quinn: I mean, no, of course not.

 

---

Edited October 25, 2012 by bright_ephemera

[irishfino]

I like how he keeps trying to kill the warrior... succeeds... then the medical probe revives him, lol.

Well, you have to admire his perseverance.

I do. At lest he's not a flip-flopping bastard this go around.

Hmmph.

[bright_ephemera]

---

 

- frame: Sevasht & co. proceed down the hallway in Vowrawn's headquarters. -

Sevasht: Guys. Guys? Hang on, let me take the lead here.

- frame: Sevasht leads the way into a new room guarded by the Sith Lord Haresh. -

Lord Haresh: You. You're Baras's man.

Sevasht: I come in peace.

- Wider frame; Broonmark is licking blood off his arm. Jaesa is waving a stolen, bloodstained vibroknife. Pierce is cheerfully comparing freshly-looted thermal detonators. -

Sevasht: Um. I, personally, come in peace. Broonmark, Jaesa, Pierce, stay back there.

 

---

 

 

- Vowrawn's headquarters. Lord Qet walks in to join Lord Haresh facing Sevasht, Vette, and Quinn. -

Qet: You scum. You'll never find our master.

Voice from the other room: Stand down, Lord Qet.

Vette: Qet? He was the hopelessly awful patron of the arts on Dromund Kaas, right?

Qet: Please don't mention that. The damn Colossus still isn't finished.

- enter Darth Vowrawn. -

Vowrawn: A small part of my ego hopes it never will be. That was a terrible design, Qet.

 

---

 

 

- Vowrawn's headquarters. Vowrawn, Haresh and Qet face Sevasht, Quinn and Vette. -

Vowrawn: Spare my men. They pose no threat to you or your master.

Sevasht: Don't worry. I have every intention of sparing everybody.

- frame: Vowrawn and his men look significantly at a rivulet of blood that has run in from the hallway. -

Sevasht: I'll have you know that that was Jaesa, not me.

 

---

 

 

- Vowrawn's headquarters. Vowrawn, Haresh and Qet face Sevasht, Quinn and Vette. -

Vowrawn: Convey my congratulations to your master for his superior gameplay. The kill is yours.

- frame: Broonmark and Jaesa sprint in. -

Broonmark and Jaesa: KILL?

Sevasht: No! Guys! No!

Vette: We want to be on your side, Vowrawn.

- frame: Pierce gestures at himself, Broonmark, and Jaesa. -

Pierce: Well, we don't, as such, but we'll listen to Sevasht.

Sevasht: So, Vowrawn. What say we attack somebody who isn't each other?

Vette: *cough*BARAS*cough*

Qet: Since you appear to have slaughtered most of Vowrawn's existing forces, that does seem like the least you can do.

 

---

 

 

- Vowrawn's headquarters. Vowrawn stands with Sevasht & co. -

Vowrawn: So, I'm leading the Republic offensive on Corellia because a ton of Baras's nice things are here. I can ruin all my enemies at once.

Sevasht: So which of Baras's things do I break first?

Vowrawn: Colonel Blackmailer, an undercover Republic officer who keeps much of the Dark Council in line purely through coordinating and holding dark secrets on Baras's behalf. Remove him, the Council is less likely to swat you like a gnat the second you move against Baras.

Sevasht: Oh. Thanks for the pep talk.

Vowrawn: We really do need the prep work here.

Sevasht: Okay, so I'll find Blackmailer. For now you'll be safest on my ship. Since I, uh, killed most of your security here.

 

---

 

 

- Vowrawn's headquarters. Vowrawn stands with Sevasht & co. -

Quinn: If Darth Vowrawn is to take shelter on the ship, I can supervise him.

Sevasht: Ha! Ha! You're a funny man, Mal.

- frame: Quinn looks miserable. Sevasht looks smug. Everyone else looks shocked. -

Vette: …'Mal'?

Sevasht: I'm exercising my right as Sith to be a jerk to him.

Pierce: That's not jerk, milord. That's pet name.

Sevasht: …

Jaesa: And you've been sneaking off with him at every opportunity for the last couple of days…

Sevasht: Not by choice! I swear I'm just nicknaming him to make him miserable!

Jaesa: Master, if you were only turning me down because you're not into women you should've just told me. Months ago.

Vowrawn: Do you people need some time to sort things out?

Sevasht: NO.

Quinn: It seems the only reasonable solution is to drop the nickname, my lord.

Sevasht: You wish, Mal.

 

---

 

 

- Vowrawn's headquarters. Vowrawn stands with Sevasht & co. -

Sevasht: Tell you what, uh…Broonmark? Broonmark can take care of him. Broonmark, escort Vowrawn back to the ship. Kill anything that looks at him funny.

Broonmark: We obey Sith clan.

Sevasht: ...You do?

Broonmark: When Sith clan orders KILLING, yes.

 

---

 

 

- An Imperial military base. Sevasht & co. (minus Broonmark) corner Colonel Blackmail. -

Colonel Blackmail: Don't strike! I am a secret Imperial agent working directly for Darth Baras!

Sevasht: Yes, I know. So are most of the people I've ever met, actually.

Pierce: Except me.

Vette: And me.

Jaesa: And me.

Quinn: …

- frame -

Quinn: *hem* You were saying, Colonel?

 

---

 

 

- The streets of Corellia. Sevasht & co. (minus Broonmark) walk along. -

Sevasht: There, we convinced Colonel Blackmail to try a new career as a secret Imperial agent for not-Baras. Next up, the fake Jedi Baras uses to direct Jedi strikes against his rivals.

Pierce: Hold up.

- frame: Pierce points at a massive fortress as they round the street corner. -

Pierce: The Bastion. Mentioned it once or twice. Mind if I nip up the street, take it over?

Sevasht: That's kinda…big.

Pierce: Got the old black ops team on speed dial, milord. Won't take more than a few hours, I'll catch up with you in time for supper. Promise.

Sevasht: Have at it.

Pierce: You're the best.

 

---

 

 

- A conference room full of Jedi. Sevasht, Jaesa, Quinn, and Vette observe from the hallway. -

Sevasht: That crowd is long odds for us. Okay, guys? Follow my lead. Please.

- frame: Sevasht walks into the middle of the room -

Jedi 1: Stop, Sith! You're outnumbered.

Jaesa, putting a hand on her lightsaber: We can fix that.

Sevasht: Heel, Jaesa.

Jedi 2: They are our enemies.

Quinn, putting a hand on his blaster: Oh, we are aware.

Sevasht, facepalming: Heel, Mal.

 

---

 

 

- A conference room full of Jedi. Sevasht, Jaesa, Quinn, and Vette stand among them. -

Sevasht: Guys, one among you is a spy for Darth Baras. I'm here to exfiltrate in style. Nobody stab anybody 'til we sort that out, okay?

Jedi 1: That's the stupidest thing I ever heard.

Sevasht: Then you haven't had a day like mine. Baras's spy? Anybody?

Jedi 3: Sevasht, my friend. You are already a legend among Sith.

Sevasht: You haven't been studying my exploits, have you?

Jedi 3: No?

Sevasht: *whew* Good.

Jedi 3: I'm glad you gave me a chance to save myself and return to my master Baras, rather than killing me with all these Jedi.

Sevasht: Yeah, about that…Psych! I'm not here to kill anyone.

Everyone in the room except Vette: What?

Sevasht: Could you all just arrest her? You've got the confession right there. Anyway, once she's neutralized I've gotta run.

- frame: The Jedi watch, open-mouthed, as Sevasht strolls off. Jaesa keeps pace with him. -

Jaesa: Master, that was the worst power play ever. Ever.

Vette: Sev and I did that kind of thing all the time before you maniacs came on board.

Jaesa: Worst. Ever.

 

---

 

 

- Back out on the street in Corellia. Sevasht takes a holocall from Broonmark. -

Broonmark: Trouble. Guy we could not KILL attacked us. We hid with Vowrawn elsewhere.

Sevasht: Something made you run away?

Broonmark: Yes.

Sevasht: You, Broonmark, were attacked by something that forced you to retreat.

Broonmark: Yes.

- frame: Sevasht looks around at his crew. -

Sevasht: Uh, guys? When's the next shuttle off world?

 

---

 

 

- An Imperial office. Pierce walks in to find Sevasht, Vette, Quinn, and Jaesa. -

Pierce: There, what did I tell you? Bastion captured in time for supper.

Sevasht: Congratulations. It went well?

Pierce: Yeah, yeah. The place'll need some roof work, but I know which building inspectors to pay off to settle permits.

- frame: Pierce grins. -

Pierce: Good day so far. What's next?

 

---

 

 

- The Imperial office. Darth Vowrawn and Broonmark have joined Sevasht and the rest of the crew. -

Vowrawn: The assassin who attacked the ship has vanished again. We'll just have to move fast.

Sevasht: That's a terrible safety plan.

Vowrawn: It's not my favorite, either. Nevertheless. In a secret hall on this planet, Baras has bound an ancient Sith spirit and he draws on her power and vision. We must free her to weaken him.

Sevasht: Is this one of those "she freaks out and kills us for coming near her after" deals?

Vowrawn: Probably not?

Sevasht: Better than probably, please, my lord.

Vowrawn: Endgame is dangerous business, Sevasht.

Sevasht: That's a secret.

Vowrawn: Oh! I'm terribly sorry. The stress must be getting to me.

 

---

Edited October 25, 2012 by bright_ephemera

[bright_ephemera]

---

 

 

- The Entity's great chamber. The Entity herself floats in a column of red by one wall. Sevasht & co. enter with Vowrawn. -

Vowrawn: The Entity. Magnificently Dark Side, isn't she?

Sevasht: That can't be comfortable.

The Entity: Creepy creepy.

Sevasht: Wow, I think I've met your brother.

The Entity: Creepy creepy.

Vowrawn: Don't worry. I'll do the ritual to free you.

The Entity: I have already told Baras you're here.

Sevasht: Dammit!

 

---

 

 

- frame: The door bursts in, framing the silhouette of a huge cyborg. -

Cyber-Draahg: Heeeeere's Johnny!

Sevasht's entire crew: Who?

Sevasht: Draahg! That reference is way worse than the 'sudden but inevitable betrayal' one!

Cyber-Draahg: I do what I want now, Warwiggins.

- frame: Quinn in particular looks distressed. -

Quinn: My lord…? He was dead!

Sevasht: Yeah. He was.

Quinn: I thought he wasn't like us!

Sevasht: Yeah, he isn't. Him coming back was not supposed to happen.

Cyber-Draahg: I cannot be killed.

Vowrawn: Draahg, you're an NPC! There are rules!

Cyber-Draahg: No, really, I've been through an unspecified in-universe process that renders me immortal.

Sevasht: That is the worst cover story I've ever heard. Hax.

 

---

 

 

- The Entity's chamber. Cyber-Draahg gestures challengingly at Sevasht & co. -

Cyber-Draahg: Come on, now. Somebody's got to die today.

Pierce: I nominate Quinn.

- frame: Cyber-Draahg turns his gaze from Sevasht to Quinn. -

Cyber-Draahg: That's…oddly tempting.

Quinn: My lord, if you're here to finish Lord Sevasht, I am duty-bound to assist you.

- frame: Quinn stands alongside Cyber-Draahg. -

Quinn: Sevasht, I fear our paths must diverge.

Pierce: Works out nicely, 'cause yours just took a sharp turn for the down.

 

---

 

 

- The Entity's chamber. Sevasht stares uncomfortably at Lord Draahg. -

Sevasht: Wow. Hardcore cybernetics and everything and I saw you burn. This is a problem.

Vette: Draahg worries you?

Sevasht: Very much.

Vette: Sev's scared. Okay, panic time.

- frame: Vette starts firing with both blasters while a bemused Pierce looks on. -

Vette: KILL IT WITH FIRE

Pierce: That didn't work last time.

Vette: KILL IT WITH ANYTHING WE'VE GOT

[FIGHT]

 

---

 

 

- The Entity's chamber. Cyber-Draahg lies in pieces. Sevasht awkwardly positions himself to conceal the cast bar from the rest of the crew has he revives a badly scorched Quinn. -

- frame: Quinn stands up. -

Sevasht: Ah, look at that, Mal miraculously survived. Don't bother trying to kill him, guys.

- frame: Sevasht approaches Darth Vowrawn, who is brushing imaginary dust off his sleeve. -

Vowrawn: So sorry, I had a last-minute compelling reason to not help you.

Sevasht: Yeah, everyone always does.

Jaesa: Lord Draahg used to help us in combat.

Sevasht: And see what happened with him. Maybe it's just as well Vowrawn played useless.

 

---

 

 

- The Entity's chamber. Sevasht & co. plus Vowrawn face the floating Entity. -

Darth Vowrawn: There. The ritual is done. The Entity is freed.

- frame: The Entity drops from her stasis with a very loud THUNK. -

- frame: The Entity struggles to her feet. -

The Entity: Creepy creepy. Break Baras's nose for me, would you?

Sevasht: Can do, ma'am.

- frame: A flare of red light. -

- frame: The Entity is gone. -

Sevasht: You heard the lady.

- frame: Large view of the hall and Sevasht leading his crew plus Vowrawn out. -

Sevasht: Let's go.

 

---

 

 

- The Fury. Sevasht & co. face Servants One and Two on holo. -

Sevasht: I'm ready to go to Korriban and wreck Baras's claim at being the Voice of the Emperor.

Servant One: Yes, Wrath. After your preparations there is at least a 50% chance the Dark Council won't summarily execute you for messing with him.

Servant Two: Creepy creepy.

Servant One: That was him cheering.

Sevasht: …Thanks. Thanks a lot.

 

---

 

 

- Outside the chambers of the Dark Council on Korriban. Sevasht & co. rendezvous with Darth Vowrawn. -

Darth Vowrawn: Baras has called a special session of the Dark Council to make his claim as the Emperor's Voice official. I am fashionably late, the better to usher you in.

Sevash: Stylish.

Darth Vowrawn: I took a minor in drama back at the Academy.

 

---

 

 

- The Dark Council room. A large view: Darth Baras stands with his back to the door. He faces a row of the Dark Council seats. Behind him, the door opens and lets Sevasht & co. in. -

- frame: Darth Baras in foreground. Behind him, Sevasht & co. line up. Quinn stops a step behind Sevasht and raises his blaster to Sevasht's head. -

- frame: Sevasht quietly punches Quinn out without looking at him. -

 

---

 

 

- The Dark Council room. -

Sevasht: So, Baras, buddy. How's the Voice gig going?

Darth Baras: Very well when it isn't being interrupted by annoying children.

Vette: What? I haven't even said anything yet.

- frame: Darth Baras gestures while addressing the Dark Council. -

Darth Baras: Now you see what I've had to deal with.

 

---

 

 

- The Dark Council chamber. -

Sevasht: I'm the Emperor's Wrath, you know. And you're not the Voice. That's, uh, that's about the limit of my logical arguments.

Darth Marr: Cool story, bro.

Darth Ravage: Vowrawn, quit dicking around. Take the circus elsewhere.

Darth Baras: You should all help me kill them instead.

Darth Marr: Wait, you're taking them seriously?

Darth Baras: What? No! Ha ha! No credible threats here!

 

---

 

 

- The Dark Council chamber. -

Darth Marr: We all know there's one way to solve these debates.

Sevasht: Tiebreaker blood sport?

Darth Marr: Tiebreaker blood sport.

- frame: Darth Marr leans back in his chair, steepling his fingers. -

Darth Marr: Have at it. We'll assume that the survivor was right about the title he's been claiming.

 

---

 

 

- The Dark Council chamber. A wide panel as Darth Baras makes a twenty-meter flying leap to attack Sevasht. -

- frame: Darth Baras hits Sevasht with a lightsaber. -

Sevasht: What

- frame: Darth Baras hits Sevasht with a lightsaber. -

Sevasht: What

- frame: Darth Baras hits Sevasht with a lightsaber. -

Sevasht: That charge was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.

- frame: Vette, Pierce, Broonmark, and Jaesa are whaling on Darth Baras's back. -

Vette: Sev! Kill now, goggle later!

 

---

 

 

- The Dark Council chamber. Darth Baras has just stricken Jaesa down. Broonmark, Vette, Pierce, and Quinn are already out cold. -

Sevasht: You may think you got the best of…um, all my friends…but I have you now, old man.

Darth Baras: That was pathetic.

Sevasht: Don't blame me. There's a limited standard script for this kind of duel.

Darth Baras: One moment…

- frame: Darth Baras removes his mask, grinning. -

- frame: Darth Baras flashes Force Lightning. -

Darth Baras: Let's try some new techniques.

Sevasht: What!? You can't just switch classes!

Darth Baras: Your companions are down, child. Who's watching?

Sevasht: Cheater!

- frame: Darth Baras streams Force Lightning at Sevasht. -

Darth Baras: Sith. Same thing.

 

---

 

 

- The Dark Council chamber. Sevasht raises his saber over a battered Darth Baras. -

Sevasht: For the last time…

- Sevasht strikes. -

Sevasht: Shut up!

Voice from off-panel: *cough*

- Frame: Darth Ravage stands. -

Darth Ravage: Let me be the first to say, you can call yourself the Wrath or anything you want.

Darth Marr: Agreed.

Darth Vowrawn: Not too shabby for the fixer-upper I dragged in off the streets of Corellia.

Sevasht: Excuse me. What?

Darth Vowrawn: I need the flattering narrative, Wrath. This is what I do for a living.

 

---

 

 

- The Dark Council chamber. Sevasht faces the assembled Council. -

Sevasht: If any of you people think you're about to become my questgiver, speak up, because we'd better have it out before my companions wake up.

Darth Marr: Don't be ridiculous.

Darth Ravage: I don't want to assign you any quests, no.

Darth Vowrawn: I'm quitting while I'm ahead.

Sevasht: Good. I'll take the title and call it game, then, eh?

Darth Vowrawn: Good going, Wrath.

Darth Ravage: Hsst, Twi'lek's waking up. In-character, all.

Darth Marr: But really. Good going, Wrath.

 

---

 

- Here's where Sevasht probably gets some kind of awesome-looking glamour shot involving black armor and a very manly pose. -

 

---

 

 

- Epilogue to follow. -

 

---

[bright_ephemera]

---

 

- The Fury. Sevasht is sitting down to breakfast. Quinn walks by. -

Quinn: Congratulations again on defeating Baras, my lord.

Sevasht: Thanks. It all worked out in the–

- frame: Sevasht's eyes go wide. -

- frame: Sevasht, with a vibroknife freshly planted in his side, twists to glare at Quinn. -

Sevasht: What the hell, Mal!? You were killing me for Baras. Baras died! You can just work for me now instead of continuing with the murder!

- frame: Sevasht bandages himself while Quinn talks. -

Quinn: By now assassination is a matter of habit, my lord. I've spent months in your service doing nothing but studying your methods and coming up with ways to kill you or seduce you. I'm not even –

Sevasht: Seduce?

Quinn: Baras wanted me prepared for every eventuality. As I was saying, I'm not even halfway through the list –

Sevasht: Of ways to seduce me!?

Quinn: No! If I were trying to seduce you I would be acting coy. Playing hard to get, because that's what habitual power trippers like you like to go for.

Sevasht: So if you were trying to seduce me you would be denying all interest in me.

Quinn: Exactly.

Sevasht: Like you are right now.

Quinn: NO.

Sevasht: You know what? Never mind. Let's not change the terms of our relationship. Just keep trying to kill me, I think I'm more comfortable with that.

Quinn: So am I, my lord.

- frame: Quinn leans over and sticks Sevasht with a syringe. -

Quinn: Black Thranta virus, my lord. You have three hours to live.

Sevasht: That's more like it.

 

---

 

 

- The Fury. Lieutenant Pierce approaches Sevasht. -

Pierce: Milord. You'll be getting followers as time goes on. 'Prentices. Soldiers. You'll need the best. I can train 'em to be that.

Sevasht: You want to teach my followers?

Pierce: Yup.

Sevasht: You, the compulsively antiauthoritarian pyromaniac, are going to train people to obey me?

Pierce: It's going to be amazing.

Sevasht: I…I…this…I can't say no to this offer. Can I.

- frame: Pierce smiles. -

Pierce: You're not wrong.

 

---

 

 

- The Fury. Sevasht & co. stand before Servants One and Two. -

Servant Two: Creepy creepy

Servant One: We're having some technical difficulties on the command side of things.

Servant Two: Creepy creepy

Servant One: How about a paid vacation and we catch up later?

Sevasht: With pleasure.

 

---

 

 

- The Fury. Jaesa, with Broonmark in tow, finds Sevasht. -

Jaesa: My lord, we have invitations from Belsavis, Voss, Ilum, and Corellia, asking us to kill things.

Sevasht: I am at least 50% certain that's not what the invitation says.

Jaesa: It's what they mean, master. Can we go?

Sevasht: Tell you what. You and Broonmark can go.

Broonmark and Jaesa: YAAAY KILL KILL KILL

 

---

 

 

- The Fury. Vette has cornered Sevasht. -

Vette: So, my lord. Nice job with the killing.

Sevasht: I'm really lucky our big crew challenge wasn't something more…civilized.

Vette: Yeah. Our skillset outside 'murder' is pretty spotty.

Sevasht: Thanks for seeing all this through.

Vette: Sure thing.

- frame: Vette smiles smugly. -

Vette: So, you gonna kiss me yet?

Sevasht: What? No!

Vette: You've been avoiding it for a really long time now.

Sevasht: Yes, people tend to avoid things they don't want.

Vette: Liar.

- frame: Vette watches and waits. Sevasht looks awkward. -

- frame -

Sevasht: Hoo boy. There's a lot I can't tell you.

- frame: Vette watches and waits. -

- frame -

Sevasht: No, really. I can't tell you.

Vette: It's a secret?

Sevasht: Exactly.

 

---

 

 

- The Fury. Vette has cornered Sevasht. -

Sevasht: Um. So. About not chasing you. It's just that you're special.

Vette: That's a good thing. Right?

Sevasht: No, I mean… you're the designated love interest. I could be the ugliest meanest unfunniest loser in history and you would still be stuck with me.

Vette: Uh, okay.

Sevasht: I didn't push it because it seems wrong that you don't have a choice.

Vette: Well, do you have a choice?

Sevasht: …There's Jaesa.

- frame: Vette looks skeptically at Sevasht. -

Vette: I repeat. Do you have a choice?

Sevasht: No.

Vette: So we're even. And If I've gotta be stuck with some crazed Sith, I'm glad it's you.

Sevasht: You should be fundamentally suspicious of a universe in which that statement is true.

 

---

 

 

- The Fury. Vette has cornered Sevasht. -

Sevasht: Not only do you have the awkward DLI thing going, but you're the most annoying person I've ever met.

Vette: You know you love it.

Sevasht: …maybe. You really think a relationship would be a good idea?

Vette: A way long overdue great idea.

Sevasht: Okay. Just one condition.

Vette: Sure.

Sevasht: If this ever gets serious, you're taking my name.

- frame: A wide-eyed Vette grimaces. -

Vette: You are merciless, my lord.

Sevasht: 'My lord'? Come on, Potential Mrs. Warwiggins. You can call me Sev.

- frame: Vette folds her arms and looks away annoyedly. Sevasht plants a kiss on her cheek. -

- frame: Vette continues to look annoyed. Sevasht grins. -

Sevasht: This is gonna be great.

 

 

---

Edited October 25, 2012 by bright_ephemera

[bright_ephemera]

I had fun with that!

 

Any of you who enjoyed the meta Sith Warrior comedy owe it to yourselves to look up the forums' granddaddy of comedic fanfic, the fic that established "Sith Warrior meta humor" as not only a genre but a minor force of nature: The Doozzer's Thursday Morning Wrath.

 

Do it. It's awesome.

[irishfino]

Quinn: awesome. Sevasht and Quinn: awesomer. Sevasht and Mrs. Warwiggins: awesomest. You are my favorite.

I approve of all the murder attempts. True to form. Brava.

...bright, I think he's coming to kill you. RUN.

[grins]

[Bird_of_Thunder]

NO!!! IT CAN'T END!!! IT WAS SO FUNNY!!!

 

 

in all seriousness, awesome writing Bright

[iamthehoyden]

Loved it! Loved it the whole way through! And it is only right that Vette be stuck as a Warwiggins. Wiggity wiggity. Wiggity.

Loved it.

[Adwynyth]

I'm fairly sure that I was portrayed unfairly in this work of fiction.

That's not you, Quinn. That's a different Quinn.

What? But... *head explodes*

Aw crap.

What did you do?! THAT WAS A SECRET!

You're in on it too, Vette?

Of course. Do you think any of the drones in-game could figure out that crap with the statues in the tomb?

I see.

[bright_ephemera]

I'm fairly sure that I was portrayed unfairly in this work of fiction.

That's not you, Quinn. That's a different Quinn.

What? But... *head explodes*

Aw crap.

What did you do?! THAT WAS A SECRET!

You're in on it too, Vette?

Of course. Do you think any of the drones in-game could figure out that crap with the statues in the tomb?

I see.

 

It's a deadly secret, indeed.

 

Vette will probably needle it out of Sevasht within the week.

 

Thanks, all, for your kind words! I'm always glad to brighten or at least surreal-ify people's days.

[Soteirian]

This is pure genius. LOVE LOVE LOVE!

 

I did have one observation:

[spoiler on Bright's other warrior works]

 

 

Your first warrior: Ruth

- Quinn attempted to kill her once.

- She banished him from her life for 15 years.

 

Your second warrior: Naleen

- Quinn attempted to kill her once. Would have continued to try if she didn't kill him on the spot. He only stopped the attempts after Baras died and he was no longer obligated to do so.

- Naleen killed him on the spot. Lived Quinn-free for a year. Tried to get rid of his ghost for a good part of the first half of the story, and only changed to wanting him back after a few noble actions from him.

 

Your third warrior: Sevasht

- Quinn made multiple attempts to kill him. Succeeded a couple of times. After Baras died, continued to attempt to kill him.

- The warrior actually feels more comfortable this way.

 

My head is going to explode!!!!

 

Too funny!

 

 

 

Edited October 25, 2012 by Soteirian

[bright_ephemera]

This is pure genius. LOVE LOVE LOVE!

 

I did have one observation:

[spoiler on Bright's other warrior works]

 

 

Your first warrior: Ruth

- Quinn attempted to kill her once.

- She banished him from her life for 15 years.

 

Your second warrior: Naleen

- Quinn attempted to kill her once. Would have continued to try if she didn't kill him on the spot. He only stopped the attempts after Baras died and he was no longer obligated to do so.

- Naleen killed him on the spot. Lived Quinn-free for a year. Tried to get rid of his ghost for a good part of the first half of the story, and only changed to wanting him back after a few noble actions from him.

 

Your third warrior: Sevasht

- Quinn made multiple attempts to kill him. Succeeded a couple of times. After Baras died, continued to attempt to kill him.

- The warrior actually feels more comfortable this way.

 

My head is going to explode!!!!

 

Too funny!

 

 

 

Haha! I like to think that I'm getting better at coping with the Quinncident as time (and fic) goes on. Though I hadn't noticed that my Quinns have been getting progressively more aggressive about it even before this...

[Soteirian]

I hadn't noticed that my Quinns have been getting progressively more aggressive about it even before this...

 

And your warriors getting progressively more receptive to being assassinated.

[Adwynyth]

Thanks, all, for your kind words! I'm always glad to brighten or at least surreal-ify people's days.

Wait...."brighten"...."bright"? *head explodes*

Aw, bright, did you have to make his head explode too? Now who's gonna clean up this mess? He can't write a mop into my reality anymore. *sigh*

[bright_ephemera]

It's very easy to be accepting of death when you know you're going to respawn. Now that both men involved are fully aware of their own invulnerability...well, the galaxy is lucky they both prefer hands-on assassination over the building collapse/orbital strike/planetary annihilation style, because otherwise they would form an infinite-collateral-damage engine.

 

Wait...."brighten"...."bright"? *head explodes*

Aw, bright, did you have to make his head explode too? Now who's gonna clean up this mess? He can't write a mop into my reality anymore. *sigh*

 

Convincing Broonmark to do the shuffle across the crime scene is sort of like mopping. I'm afraid that's the best I can do, Vette. Sorry about your writer XD

 

I originally picked "ephemera" figuring most of my online commentary is insignificant one-off throwaway material, then added "bright" because I at least wanted it to be shiny insignificant one-off throwaway material.

[Soteirian]

the galaxy is lucky they both prefer hands-on assassination over the building collapse/orbital strike/planetary annihilation style, because otherwise they would form an infinite-collateral-damage engine

 

lol!!!!!!

[bright_ephemera]

Promotional poster I'll never get around to drawing:

 

A sidewalk cafe. Jaesa lurking at a table in the background, staring at Sevasht.. Sevasht and Vette sitting opposite one another in the foreground, raising glasses: Sevasht looks cheerful, Vette looks...skeptical, probably. Sevasht proclaims: "To the lesser of two evils!"

[Vesaniae]

Promotional poster I'll never get around to drawing:

 

A sidewalk cafe. Jaesa lurking at a table in the background, staring at Sevasht.. Sevasht and Vette sitting opposite one another in the foreground, raising glasses: Sevasht looks cheerful, Vette looks...skeptical, probably. Sevasht proclaims: "To the lesser of two evils!"

That is a wonderful mental image. Sevasht's adventures were a delight to read. I like meta humor and I like a lot of it! Perhaps we'll see more of Sevasht in the future... maybe...?

[irishfino]

I want to draw this. I am terrible at arts, but I want to draw this so bad.