Ardim Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Mission accomplished! I succeeded.... Barely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adwynyth Posted October 25, 2012 Author Share Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) Timeline: Korriban, Very End of SW Class Quest, the "Big One" Sith Warrior Chapter 3 endgame spoilers "That had better be Darth Vowrawn coming through those doors." "Surprise, Darth Blimp." "Such impertinence! You will pay for your--" Baras turned to coldly glare and continue his monologue at Lord Adwynyth, and was as shocked into silence as the rest of the Dark Council. She was completely naked, except for black leather stilleto-heeled boots that came up to her thighs...and a belt with two lightsabers. "Could you guys turn off the air conditioning for a few? It's a bit chilly in here." *** (ONE HOUR EARLIER) "My lord, I fail to see why you should maintain the facade. Granted, it has paid extraordinary dividends in normal battles against unprepared opponents--far beyond my wildest and most bizarre imaginings--but Darth Baras is aware of who you are, what you can do, what you normally wear..." He stopped and looked slightly uncomfortable at that last. "It's okay so say it...he knows because you told him." Adwynyth was fiddling in the mirror, fixing her usual white formal dress in preparation for her confrontation with Darth Baras in front of the Dark Council. She looked at the Captain, who still hadn't said anything. "It's okay, Malavai. I've already forgiven you. You've more than proven yourself since then." "I cannot help being utterly ashamed, and express once again--" "Quinn, you stood up to a Darth for me. A Darth. With nothing but a knife. NAKED." The Imperial regained some semblance of parade rest and cleared his throat, clearly not comfortable discussing his own remarkable deeds. "Merely my duty--" "Bantha poodoo. I've seen the security footage from the hangar, Malavai." He stiffened a bit. "You were all set to do the secret agent thing and play the good little Baras stooge and go along until the opportune moment to betray him, and I have no doubt you'd have pulled it off masterfully and given me the honor of the kill." He blushed again and looked away. Adwynyth reached over and gently pulled his face around to look at her again. "Until he mentioned me. I had Vette work on the footage and recover some of the audio...when he said what he'd do to me, you went insane." Quinn's eyes were bright, intense...and a bit mad even now. "No one touches my wife. No one even talks about it." "See? That kind of loyalty that makes you face down a Sith with a knife and go all Tulak Hord on his a*s? You can't buy that! That's born out of betrayal and redemption...and love." Quinn looked as if he was on the precipice between two emotions... "And it's also the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. Take me now or you'll die screaming!" ...and lust won, his eyes going more than a little mad. Quinn pounced with a wolfish grin Adwynyth had never seen before, and the dress was nothing but a shredded memory within seconds. No one had any antidote for the noises that ensued. Poor Vette caught a glimpse through the open door, and didn't come out of the 'fresher for two days. Lust won again the next six times Adwynyth tried to get dressed. There were no more dresses, and she only managed to leave the bedroom after the third time Vowrawn left a holomessage asking where the hell she was. *** The Dark Council was divided evenly between nausea and fascination at the tale spun by the Emperor's Wrath. "So, I have a date with my husband, and I don't want this to take a moment more than necessary, hence my state of dress. Come get me, fat boy. Look at me like you do a particularly plump donut." Adwynyth grinned like a wolf as Darth Baras yanked the lightsaber from his belt and started toward her with a wordless and very strangled sound of rage. Edited October 25, 2012 by Adwynyth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bright_ephemera Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 and she only managed to leave the bedroom after the third time Vowrawn left a holomessage asking where the hell she was. This. This is where I lost it. Vowrawn of all people should understand being kept waiting for such things, but...still, Adwynyth, matters of galactic import! Pick up the holo already!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishfino Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 [flex] That is exactly how I operate. I'm not re-writing you. That's fine, it'll come out soon enough. [flex flex] ...damn it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kabeone Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 Poor Vette caught a glimpse through the open door, and didn't come out of the 'fresher for two days. I'm with Vette. "So, I have a date with my husband, and I don't want this to take a moment more than necessary, hence my state of dress. Come get me, fat boy. Look at me like you do a particularly plump donut." bahahahahahaha.... ew... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beniboybling Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) Oh lord, I just read this all today - far too much fun for one day Love your story, I will never look at a Sith in a pretty dress in the same way again! I suggest you attempt to roll in (pun not intended) as many Darth Baras fat jokes as you can in the next story. Keep writing Edited October 25, 2012 by Beniboybling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ardim Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 Timeline: Korriban, Very End of SW Class Quest, the "Big One" Sith Warrior Chapter 3 endgame spoilers ...and lust won, his eyes going more than a little mad. Quinn pounced with a wolfish grin Adwynyth had never seen before, and the dress was nothing but a shredded memory within seconds. No one had any antidote for the noises that ensued. Poor Vette caught a glimpse through the open door, and didn't come out of the 'fresher for two days. Lust won again the next six times Adwynyth tried to get dressed. There were no more dresses, and she only managed to leave the bedroom after the third time Vowrawn left a holomessage asking where the hell she was. Thank God I was not drinking any soda this time. This set me laughing for five minutes straight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soteirian Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 This is a good week for Quinn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adwynyth Posted October 26, 2012 Author Share Posted October 26, 2012 This. This is where I lost it. Vowrawn of all people should understand being kept waiting for such things, but...still, Adwynyth, matters of galactic import! Pick up the holo already!! Thank God I was not drinking any soda this time. This set me laughing for five minutes straight Thankee to both of you! I was hoping that one came out right. [flex] That is exactly how I operate. I'm not re-writing you. That's fine, it'll come out soon enough. [flex flex] ...damn it. *grabs vibroknife* You. Stay. Away. From. Adwynyth. I'm with Vette. Don't remind me! bahahahahahaha.... ew... Yeah, I know. I'm pretty sure Darth Mortis was hunched over the back of his chair, retching. That's why he doesn't say anything in the SW endgame. Oh lord, I just read this all today - far too much fun for one day Love your story, I will never look at a Sith in a pretty dress in the same way again! Thankee! I appreciate all the feedback, but the good stuff makes me warm and fuzzy. Like Broonmark! *hugs the huge white fuzzball* That's called foreshadowing, Vette. Bloorrrp. I suggest you attempt to roll in (pun not intended) as many Darth Baras fat jokes as you can in the next story. Keep writing I dunno...a few of those go a long way. Too many, and they become less funny. There'll be more. This is a good week for Quinn. That can change quickly. And probably will. *sigh* What now? You'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serris_Kell Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 Ten to one says most of the Dark Council took pictures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adwynyth Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 Ten to one says most of the Dark Council took pictures. I wouldn't bet against that. What?! I'll kill them all! No you won't. I won't? No. You'll get really ticked off, rant and rave around the ship throwing things, and eventually end up torturing Quinn to beat the stress. *sigh* You're right. ...wait, what? Nothing, honey. *suspicious look* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamthehoyden Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 No. You'll get really ticked off, rant and rave around the ship throwing things, and eventually end up torturing Quinn to beat the stress. I'm pretty sure you could make a mint on that de-stressing technique. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adwynyth Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 I'm pretty sure you could make a mint on that de-stressing technique. You're right! *dances up and kicks Quinn in the junk* *falls to ground, cradling the jewels* YAY! You're my new favorite person, hoyden! Oh Lord...what have we started now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beniboybling Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I dunno...a few of those go a long way. Too many, and they become less funny. There'll be more. I'm sure whatever you write will be as hilarious as ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishfino Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 *grabs vibroknife* You. Stay. Away. From. Adwynyth. ...the author or your wife? Them having the same name is incredibly confusing... And, before you go naked psycho Sith killer on me, I have absolutely no interest in your wife. If you wanted to, however, we can gang up on your author and keep him from kicking you repeatedly in the crotch through crew members. Honestly, it's like the man has never been hit there before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamthehoyden Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 You're right! *dances up and kicks Quinn in the junk* *falls to ground, cradling the jewels* YAY! You're my new favorite person, hoyden! Oh Lord...what have we started now? Always glad to help. Plus this way maybe the Q-man will stay away from pointy objects Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adwynyth Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) I'm sure whatever you write will be as hilarious as ever Why thankee. Your faith sustains me. ...the author or your wife? Them having the same name is incredibly confusing... And, before you go naked psycho Sith killer on me, I have absolutely no interest in your wife. If you wanted to, however, we can gang up on your author and keep him from kicking you repeatedly in the crotch through crew members. Honestly, it's like the man has never been hit there before... My wife, of course. My author can clearly take care of himself. And *hangs head* I was watching her dance. I didn't expect the kick. Always glad to help. Plus this way maybe the Q-man will stay away from pointy objects *hides hypospray behind back* What was that? PIERCE! Milord. Mad medic duty. *sigh* You really need to train Broonmark to handle these things. *carries Quinn away bodily* Bloorp. Edited October 27, 2012 by Adwynyth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adwynyth Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) ANNOUNCEMENT OF EXTREME IMPORT I hereby announce my (and my crew's) nomination of bright_ephemera as the recipient of the First Annual (and possibly only) Onomatopoeic Language Sound Invention Award. Her contributions to the genre include, well, bloorp. Broonmark has been the fortunate beneficiary of this invention. Let's turn on the universal translator to see what he has to say. Blllorrrp. (Broonmark thanks Ephemera Clan for the word. Without it, Author Clan's writings would probably contain something lame like the "annoyed grunt" that Simpson Clan's writers are stuck with in their scripts.) Quite a touching ode, Broonmark. And-- Blooorpp. (Broonmark also hates Author Clan for making him say this "bloorrp" and sometimes translating through other characters, instead of just translating what he's saying.) Yes, well-- Bllllooooorrrrrpppp. *pulls out vibrosword* (Broonmark has had enough of having lack of human speech organs used as a punchline.) PIERCE! Oh no...you're on your own for this one, mate. I don't have enough explosives for him. Fine. *drops 40-ton stone on Broonmark* Don't worry, folks...the hair will protect him. Another thing for which we have bright_ephemera to thank. (from under stone) Bloooorp. It's okay, Broony. I'll make it up to you toni-- (loudly) And that's all the time we have for today's nomination ceremony, folks. Tune in next time, for...oh God...I don't want to think about what my crew is forcing me to write next. I need an aspirin. *wanders off* Edited October 27, 2012 by Adwynyth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bright_ephemera Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 ANNOUNCEMENT OF EXTREME IMPORT I hereby announce my (and my crew's) nomination of bright_ephemera as the recipient of the First Annual (and possibly only) Onomatopoeic Language Sound Invention Award. Her contributions to the genre include, well, bloorp. I'm honored!! I'm "contributing to the genre"! I would be speechless but that seems singularly inappropriate for the occasion. So let's try something more like fssshssssseeeeeeheeheeheehee! Yes, that seems accurate. I will be delighted to see where your crew drags you next, Adwynyth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adwynyth Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 Timeline: sometime after completion of Chapter 3, back on Corellia No spoilers I can think of "Has anyone seen Broonmark?" Quinn asked, striding stiffly into the lounge area. "He's overdue for his flea bath, and he's been avoiding it very effectively." "Nope. Haven't seen him, dear." "Afraid not, Captain." "Have you tried up your own a--" "PIERCE!" "Sorry, milord. Couldn't resist." The usual "messing with Quinn" wolfish grin was fully in place. Apparently things were back to normal on that front. Quinn just glared for a moment and then sighed and ignored the big man. "I hope to catch him before he infects the crew with Corellian Redticks. Nasty little buggers. They become lodged in the gen--" Adwynyth jumped up and covered his mouth, not wanting to hear anymore. "Less describing. More Broonmark-finding." "That's just it, my lord. He doesn't appear to be anywhere on the ship. His hammock in the cargo bay doesn't appear to have been used last night." "Strange. The only one that I knew of leaving the ship last night was Vette, to go on her date. Maybe we should have the planetary authorities--" "That might not be such a good idea, my lord. They still haven't been talking to us after the 'red Twi'lek protection order' incident." Adwynyth blew out an exasperated sigh. "I already apologized to them over that. I couldn't have been that drunk when I wrote that order. I know I didn't write the part where 'anyone so much as touching a red Twi'lek would be flogged, hung, shot, stabbed, and summarily drowned'. That just doesn't flow." "And Broonmark swore nobody got hold of it before he delivered it to the planetary government." Quinn had to respect the creature's single-minded bloodthirst, and had no problem believing that anyone who tried would have been shredded. Jaesa piped up, ever the (bloodthirsty and very dark-side) optimist. The crew had long-since gotten used to the dichotomy. "At least Twi'leks on Corellia have been able to move and live a lot more freely since then. Although only the red ones." Pierce joined in at that. "True, hon. Don't think the green or blue or purple ones like them very much anymore, though." Quinn sighed at the derailing of the discussion. "Back to Broonmark..." Adwynyth planted a kiss on Quinn's neck and moved back to her seat. "I'm sure we'll find him. Where is Vette, anyway? Isn't this a bit late to be getting back from a date, even for her?" The sound of boots on the ship's ramp answered their question for them. "I'm baaaack," Vette sing-songed as she nearly skipped across the deck and into one of the chairs at the large table. Something caught Quinn's eye from the direction of the cargo bay and he slipped away without anyone noticing. Jaesa smiled somewhat salaciously over her cup of caffa. "So, spill it. How's your mystery boyfriend?" Vette smiled beatifically and leaned back, adopting a daydreaming pose. "Dreamy. I've had the most fun with him. He's not like other guys." Adwynyth chimed in again. "You mean all gropey-gropey on the first date, and it only goes downhill from there?" Pierce stood up and quaffed the rest of his caffa. "That's my cue to leave. Milord." He headed in the direction of the cargo bay too, to uncrate and prep another set of body armor. His last set had been destroyed in the ill-advised "drunk collicoid wrestling" game he and Quinn had devised while half-smashed the week before. "Well, that too...but...he's just different." Jaesa's eyes followed Pierce out of sight, then she leaned forward and grinned. "Okay, tell us about him. What's he like?" "Well, he's tall...very strong...um, not a very good kisser. Surprisingly gentle. I have to be honest, he's--" Quinn yelling "Sit still, Broonmark!" interrupted the discussion. Tremendous sounds of struggle and shattering shipping crates could be clearly made out. The group rushed to the cargo bay to see what was wrong. What they found was Quinn huddling behind a large shipping crate holding the shattered remains of a medkit, Pierce with one arm dangling uselessly and a blaster in the other hand, and Broonmark crouching on one of the rafters with...pink something all over his face. Pink... Adwynyth looked at Vette, who was blushing furiously...the same shade of pink adorned her lips. But...that meant... Jaesa made the only sound of the whole group. "Ew." NOTES: Yes. I feel horrible about writing this. And it only gets worse from here. *cries* Somebody please stop me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beniboybling Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 The group rushed to the cargo bay to see what was wrong. What they found was Quinn huddling behind a large shipping crate holding the shattered remains of a medkit, Pierce with one arm dangling uselessly and a blaster in the other hand, and Broonmark crouching on one of the rafters with...pink something all over his face. Pink... Adwynyth looked at Vette, who was blushing furiously...the same shade of pink adorned her lips. But...that meant... Jaesa made the only sound of the whole group. "Ew." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamthehoyden Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Ahhhh!!! My eyeballs!!!! They're melting!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishfino Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I. Love. You. ...you're married. It's just author love. It's totally platonic and filled with bad a*sery. ...sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adwynyth Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 I know. I did that myself while writing it. Ahhhh!!! My eyeballs!!!! They're melting!!! So is my brain. I might forget how to type English any sdjh oondww,s....... I. Love. You. ...you're married. It's just author love. It's totally platonic and filled with bad a*sery. ...sure. Why do the married authors always fall for me? *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilaniGrey Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Brain bleeeeeeach. That is one crack pairing I did NOT want to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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