if you want to invite me to party, ASK ME first.

[EternallSlumber]

A bunch of great links snipped

 

This X some obsenely large number.

 

 

Thanks for posting those.

[cdstephen]

/invite Kabjat

[Kabjat]

Gosh...just decline it. No need to criticize people for trying to start a group in an MMO.

 

I'm not criticizing people. I have however been enlightened and educated by how close-minded people can be when faced with the opinions of those with whom they disagree. I have been insulted many times on this thread, usually by people who don't bother to read the discussion that followed my OP.

 

This is what the forums are for. I have no problem with those who challenge what I have posted. I just wish they could do without the insults.

 

And it goes deeper than 'just declining' the invite. It's a matter of respecting those around you and understanding that some people don't think the same as you. I do, in fact, decline any blind invites I receive. I think people are capable of making their intentions known beforehand. They simply don't want to. The parroted phrase I keep seeing, "The invite IS me asking you." doesn't fly with me...as it doesn't fly with A LOT of people. I'm fine with that. I also am perfectly free to never group with that person.

 

What makes me laugh is how all the people who have posted hostile replies seem to think that this thread is pointless. It hasn't died yet, so ok whatever. xD

[Yuuj]

I'm not criticizing people. I have however been enlightened and educated by how close-minded people can be when faced with the opinions of those with whom they disagree. I have been insulted many times on this thread, usually by people who don't bother to read the discussion that followed my OP.

 

This is what the forums are for. I have no problem with those who challenge what I have posted. I just wish they could do without the insults.

 

And it goes deeper than 'just declining' the invite. It's a matter of respecting those around you and understanding that some people don't think the same as you. I do, in fact, decline any blind invites I receive. I think people are capable of making their intentions known beforehand. They simply don't want to. The parroted phrase I keep seeing, "The invite IS me asking you." doesn't fly with me...as it doesn't fly with A LOT of people. I'm fine with that. I also am perfectly free to never group with that person.

 

What makes me laugh is how all the people who have posted hostile replies seem to think that this thread is pointless. It hasn't died yet, so ok whatever. xD

 

Yuuj has invited you to a group.

[Accept] [Decline] [Complain]

[al_giordino]

What do you mean you haven't read some obscure MMO blogs that clearly TELL you to

send a whisper before inviting someone?

 

At least have the etiquette to google up an article on MMO etiquette before you start playing one.

Edited January 30, 2012 by al_giordino

[Moondragon]

Kiiiinda agree with OP. If I ever get blind invites, I automatically decline them. Same with blind Guild invites. It's not just a "MMO Etiquette" thing, it's a standard decency thing. It's not like I walk up to someone in the street and just go, "Hey, lets go." Waitwhat?!

 

It's a simple decorum of decency. That's all. Be polite. Ask. Takes 5 seconds...10 if you type slow. "Wanna group up and do some missions?" Boom. Done. Then dialogue is opened, I can figure out if your in a rush where as I'm usually not, etc etc.

[EternallSlumber]

I hate to say this, but:

 

 

WHAT A BUNCH OF GD NEWBS!

[Arnokar]

OMG...this is still going???

 

Gotta love it.

 

Agree or disagree with the OP all you want, this has been THE most entertaining thread in general EVER !!

 

Bravo Kab !

[Yuuj]

Sorry guys. While I was typing out "Hey, are you on this quest and if so would you like to join our group?" my party mate tagged the mob and killed it to prevent you from doing so. =|

 

Hey, I tried to invite you to a group but you declined.

 

I know you were here first but we were willing to work out something beneficial for both of us but you declined.

 

Maybe next time you'll just take the invite.

[Deyjarl]

Not a black and white issue for me.

 

 

If I'm traveling along or fighting and get a blind invite then I'll most likely turn it down.

 

 

 

But if I'm standing around waiting for a Champion from a quest bonus to reappear, and get an invite, I'll quick look and accept if I see that person is nearby, pretty obvious we're likely both there for the same reason, there is no reason to ask me then.

[Orinnite]

Didn't read all 33 pages. I don't always send out tells when inviting someone and it has nothing to do with being lazy. If I see someone clearing the mobs in a section and I'm blasting through them as well why wouldn't we party up? I don't see a problem.

 

On the flip side I usually ask people if it isn't glaringly obvious why the invite is sent. I also stand next to the person so it isn't like they can't see me, can't see why I am inviting. And if they still don't get it, oh well, I can do most things alone.

[EternallSlumber]

Sorry guys. While I was typing out "Hey, are you on this quest and if so would you like to join our group?" my party mate tagged the mob and killed it to prevent you from doing so. =|

 

Hey, I tried to invite you to a group but you declined.

 

I know you were here first but we were willing to work out something beneficial for both of us but you declined.

 

Maybe next time you'll just take the invite.

 

In that situation, I would take the invite - that's not what the OP is talking about.

[Bluestone]

Also, people might not want to share loot drops with some random stranger.

 

Also, for some quests people might enjoy the challenge of soloing, not everyone likes when things are too easy. For example, some people do not like taking higher levels with them in Flashpoints because they do not then get to experience the challenge that such things are meant to be. The same can apply to any mission or mob.

[mrcaptainpants]

What do you mean you haven't read some obscure MMO blogs that clearly TELL you to

send a whisper before inviting someone?

 

At least have the etiquette to google up an article on MMO etiquette before you start playing one.

 

You consider TenTonHammer and Massively.com to be "obscure mmo blogs"?

 

Well huh.

 

This explains a great deal.

Edited January 30, 2012 by mrcaptainpants

[Merwanor]

Only reason I can accept when people just invite me to party without asking first is if there is a boss that has a slow spawn for a quest or something and we both are waiting.

[GellonSW]

Also, people might not want to share loot drops with some random stranger.

 

Also, for some quests people might enjoy the challenge of soloing, not everyone likes when things are too easy. For example, some people do not like taking higher levels with them in Flashpoints because they do not then get to experience the challenge that such things are meant to be. The same can apply to any mission or mob.

 

Some objectives take 5-10 minutes to re-spawn. If another person is there waiting and you decline their group then that's a bit of a selfish and dick move on your part. It's not like the challenge of going solo would never arise again.

[Kalfear]

And we're saying it's a GAME, not a way of life or secondary culture for most of us, so those links you posted mean nothing.

 

Join or don't. Doesn't bother me.

 

If I don't send you a tell first and you get upset about it, go play by yourself. I really DO NOT CARE. I don't think ANYONE invites you to their group to be an a-hole...most do it to be courteous as there are only so many quests in an area and if you're OBVIOUSLY on the same one, group up.

 

Me sending you an invite doesn't obligate you to do anything you don't wanna do. You don't have to be my buddy, I'm not adding you to my friends list and I won't get upset if you don't reply to my /whispers - all it means is I assume we're going after the same objectives and rather than fighting you for them, I'd rather include you.

 

This is seriously one of the most ridiculous things I've seen someone complain about.

 

 

Well your sitting here YELLING at people and in previous post calling them names so something tells me you do care and your just upset no one is agreeing with you.

 

Im about as social a player you will ever find in game with strangers.

I doubt there are many out there as open, friendly, welcoming to total strangers and accepting to grouping REQUESTS

 

So If I understand the meaning behind this and agree with it, Gotta say you just trying to play devils advocate (poorly) or just argueing for arguement sake here. Its not a hard concept to understand.

 

What you dont seem to be understanding is you still need to make the REQUEST.

 

You inviting someone is not doing THEM a favor as you like to think.

Its YOU asking for the group to help YOURSELF, not them

 

That kid that whined "WHY WONT YOU HELP ME" other day on Ord, he was the one dieing, not me. I didnt die once solo and was handleing my content quite fine. He wasnt. So if he wants a group, all he needed to do was ASK.

 

If I was dieing or outmatched (Literally impossible to be at same level content in this game btw), I would have ASKED over general or sent those around me a tell asking if I could join. Because it would have been for MY OWN NEEDS, not theirs.

 

But this thread can be summed up in a old but very true statement

 

THERE IS NEVER A BAD TIME TO BE POLITE AND HAVE MANNERS!

 

I know the new to MMO crowd (7 years and under players) dont understand allot of standard traditional MMORPG stuff but this isnt WOW and your bargin basement WOW society and structure doesnt fly here. Time for you to come to the real MMORPG world were there are established rules and standards players are expected to follow.

 

Just like in any society, club, culture.

 

Time for you all to start learning them.

 

ALWAYS ASK FIRST!

[Bluestone]

What do you mean you haven't read some obscure MMO blogs that clearly TELL you to

send a whisper before inviting someone?

 

At least have the etiquette to google up an article on MMO etiquette before you start playing one.

 

Or... and this is the tricky bit, have some common sense and realise that quite a few people would rather know what you want to group up for before you invite them.

 

Think of it this way, if YOU (anyone) wants help with something, why should the other person have to be the one to ask why? It makes no sense.

 

The times I have accepted blind invites the person who invited has never said anything like "hey, gunna hit this boss" or mission etc. So if the people who send blind invites want it to become acceptable then they need to meet us in the middle. If someone accepts a blind party invite tell them what it was for.

[Bluestone]

Some objectives take 5-10 minutes to re-spawn. If another person is there waiting and you decline their group then that's a bit of a selfish and dick move on your part. It's not like the challenge of going solo would never arise again.

 

Hey, if they have the decency to ask first then I don't mind at all.

The "dick move" (as you term it) is thinking it takes a long time to type "/s party?"

 

EDIT: Also, 5-10 minutes wouldn't hurt anyone. If someone cannot wait 5-10 minutes then they need to re-evaluate their life.

Edited January 30, 2012 by Bluestone

[DarkCarnage]

i normaly if i see poeple looking for a boss or a elite for a quest, i just send a say or a tell(depending on how many) and noraly i get a ok, make group and kills guy, we all get credit and all good. takes a full 30 secs to /s "hey want to group up for mob x?" simple, polite and works 99% of time. ^^

[Sandybeaver]

Really? So everyone you invite is expected to automatically want to group with you? What if I'm busy doing something else and I have to go afk every few minutes? I decline your invite and I get ignored? That makes a lot of sense.

 

Now if someone sends you a message afterwards berating you for not talking to them first, that I would understand.

 

The later is what I was impying. I don't care if people dont take the invite =P

[Kabjat]

And we're saying it's a GAME, not a way of life or secondary culture for most of us, so those links you posted mean nothing.

 

And all of the things he linked just happen to pertain to the GAME that we are all playing and enjoying. It amazes me how often this argument is thrown out when someone counters with something that makes FAR TOO MUCH SENSE. Basically, it's the same as that guy in the Flashpoint who needs on everything and someone speaks up and tells him to STOP and he counters with, "It's a GAME, not a way of life. CHILL."

 

I can see right through your argument for what it is. It's a tired and overused ploy to excuse bad behavior in an MMO. It also shows that you have little regard for others in this 'GAME'.

 

Like it or not, the rules of etiquette DO matter, unofficial or not.

Join or don't. Doesn't bother me.

 

Be polite and courteous or not. I don't care nor do I have to group with you. I'm fine with this. Dunno how many times I have to say it. This thread is for DISCUSSION. It's a valid discussion to many. Just because it isn't to you doesn't matter.

 

If I don't send you a tell first and you get upset about it, go play by yourself. I really DO NOT CARE. I don't think ANYONE invites you to their group to be an a-hole...most do it to be courteous as there are only so many quests in an area and if you're OBVIOUSLY on the same one, group up.

 

This thread is to maybe open your eyes, if you are willing, that not everyone shares your playstyle and hopefully foster understanding. I now understand why people blind invite. I still don't like it, however. If you want to call this whining or complaining, well, I can't change that

 

Me sending you an invite doesn't obligate you to do anything you don't wanna do. You don't have to be my buddy, I'm not adding you to my friends list and I won't get upset if you don't reply to my /whispers - all it means is I assume we're going after the same objectives and rather than fighting you for them, I'd rather include you.

 

This is seriously one of the most ridiculous things I've seen someone complain about.

 

Consider this: perhaps many of the folks who've expressed annoyance on this thread regarding this very issue really and truly believe and feel it's rude to blindly invite. Maybe, they come from a different genre of MMOs. Maybe they simply want to understand why it's done. Instead of calling something ridiculous, maybe you could try and learn something yourself? Maybe you could try and see something from a different point of view?

 

 

 

replied in green

[Deyjarl]

 

I don't think ANYONE invites you to their group to be an a-hole...

 

True. I do think some are making a mountain out of a mole hill here in their reaction to it.

[Deyjarl]

You consider TenTonHammer and Massively.com to be "obscure mmo blogs"?

 

Well huh.

 

This explains a great deal.

 

Given I doubt even half the people playing have read them. yeah for some that description would apply.

 

Just because you and I know about them doesn't mean the average gamer does or cares about them.

 

Hell I doubt even half log into or care about game forums either.

Edited January 30, 2012 by Deyjarl

[Spartanik]

I surely understand this issue, but however i find it even more rude when you ask to for a group, to do quests and for social points sake whataver and they wont even respond, while doing the same quests then you... at least say hey i wanna do it alone... but it happen to me just this, he didnt even respond to me, then i ask in general if someone was inetersted in grouping to do quests and to earn social points, another dude responds to me saying he would like to and was a good ideia, but he was ahead of me in questing so another time, and i say ok, in meanwhile the previous dude that didnt respond to me in the first place resolves to respond in general chat saying NO... what a hell?! how rude is that?!