It's too easy for fanfic writers to transfer their own experiences onto a character. I've been guilty myself. BUT, it has its limits.
NOBODY knows Theron Shan with any sort of authority at all except his original creator. And however, someone wants to depict him in his/her story should be respected and not argued over. It's the writer's choice to portray him as they see him and it's the reader's choice to read or not.
Some see him as a weeping broken man-child, others as a self-abuser, alcoholic, womanizer, other's as a walled off, stoic loner, the list goes on and on.
My Theron Shan is not the same as 'Your' Theron Shan, but unless someone has some secret psychiatrist's session tapes to expose, he's still just a fictitious character that we all see in our own way.
The fact remains, NOBODY is an expert on Theron Shan. It's all interpretation or guesswork at best.
Peace.