xordevoreaux Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 (edited) Below the level of guild leader and guild leader alt, some days I want to create rank names that correspond not to any particular feature of the game, but to the players themselves. The problem is that none of them actually do anything against the guild rules to get themselves kicked, and trying to create guild rules that would address them would wind up kicking out 9/10ths of most guilds. Slapping some appropriate guild rank names on them would definitely make feel better, though Lt. Narrator This person pretty much has to say in voice chat practically everything he or she did except perhaps breathe, and I wouldn't be surprised if they mention that, either. Rewards, gear drops, whatever happens to their character, they have to share, and share approximately every 25 seconds. Worse, if you fail to acknowledge that they've said it, they'll keep repeating it 4 or 5 times (sometimes varying the wording) until you do. Captain Obvious There's not a single guildie with less than 3 years experience of playing the game logged on, but no one has spoken in 2 minutes so Captain Obvious feels the need to to put out a public service announcement in guild chat that you can get two alliance crates per heroic for a few levels after hitting level 61. Just out of the blue, has to say it. Not related to anything at all. Ok. Thanks for that. I'll keep that in mind. Major Headache This person: (1) has more lung capacity than any large ocean-going mammal, talking without pause for at least 30 minutes (2) cannot find anything good to say, ever. Ever. Their companion is ugly. Their stronghold has stupid hooks. This quest is stupid. The story is stupid. Someone got to the quest update object just before they did. Someone stole their mob. Their gear looks stupid. They can't find the bloody quest giver. The voice actor sounds stupid.... Master Appropriations Coordinator Here's a fun one! Even with a limit to how much a guildie can take out of the bank any given week, it's still a bit rude when a guildie withdraws the max amount of stuff. For those, it's easy: one week, they get a warning. Bad idea to do it. 2nd week, bye Felicia. But then there's the guy who knows not to do that, so tries to fly under the radar (bank log, anyone?) by putting in green useless crap that no one would ever use in exchange for the 4 purple items and a cartel market mount or some such that might be in there. Every. Week. They didn't get anywhere near their limit and they didn't take without putting something back, so they didn't break any rules, but if everyone had this rank, the bank would be permanently filled with nothing of value. Purveyor of Need If this person could ask for a group while in the create-a-toon window, they would. They can't function alone for 5 minutes. Wanna group? I got some new gear, we could hit some heroics. How about some flashpoints? I know we just finished three flashpoints but there's more on the list. Can you help me find the legacy gear vendor? There's a place on Tython to get a datacron next to a waterfall but I can't get to it, can you help me? The temptation here is strong to plaster people with guild names that fit their behavior. I like the idea also of renaming all the guild ranks to reindeer names for Christmas. hm.... Edited December 6, 2017 by xordevoreaux Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NHBabe Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 Oh gosh, I love it! I'm sure you can come up with more though. In the next post maybe? How about The Agitator or The Know-it-all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andryah Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 (edited) LOL.. I love it. Definitely shows you are a veteran guild leader (as in.. has seen it all). Definitely have seen all of these over the years of playing MMOs, even though we are a very selective guild in terms of recruiting. Some even appear to be specialists at some of these. This of course is the nature of different personalities and different views of ones reality. Edited December 5, 2017 by Andryah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xordevoreaux Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 Oh gosh, I love it! I'm sure you can come up with more though. In the next post maybe? How about The Agitator or The Know-it-all? You're right, I forgot one, I added it to the bottom of the list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenduKundalini Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 (edited) Hahaha Don't you have a Major Herpderp yet ? The one that informs you marauders are way more powerful than sents, and that we should work on the guild stronghold bonus. Oh, do you remember the time I pitched in 10 000 for the flagship? So when are you promoting me to officer? I know the feeling but you're going to SMITE with the almighty ban hammer one day anyway, better take care of your liver now... Edited December 5, 2017 by BenduKundalini Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NHBabe Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 You're right, I forgot one, I added it to the bottom of the list. A very good one. I made the mistake of answering someone on Odesson about the new FP as they couldn't get passed it, and wasn't able to get rid of them for days afterwards. They must've added me as a friend because as soon as I logged in on that toon, BAM, I get a whisper from them asking for help as they still can't get passed it. I finally put them on ignore and have been happy ever since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenduKundalini Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 A very good one. I made the mistake of answering someone on Odesson about the new FP as they couldn't get passed it, and wasn't able to get rid of them for days afterwards. They must've added me as a friend because as soon as I logged in on that toon, BAM, I get a whisper from them asking for help as they still can't get passed it. I finally put them on ignore and have been happy ever since. You mean this guy ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schoock Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 (edited) Being a former guild leader, I'd add the following to the list: The enthusiastic He's a great one, really. If anyone asks for anything, they are there to help. Need group? He joins. Boring quest? He helps. Raid? No problem, he can do any role. Except the Sorc is tanking the boss for the 3rd time in a row. When it comes to the burst phase, he's spamming basic attack because he's overheated. When the tank need burst healing, he meticulously refreshes his Kolto Probes on the raid. The LGBT His first few lines are: "Oh, hi. Thanks for the inv, I'm really happy to be here. I'm gay, I hope you guys are ok with it." And he keeps talking about it every goddamn day. The GTN Hero He's probably insanely rich. Has the trendiest Cartel Armor you ever dreamed of. Buys and sells and resells everything. He's online 24/7. And every 2 minutes you get the latest market announcements from him in guild chat. This was sold for X. Bought Y. Stacking Z for event Q, because its price will rise by P. The Veteran He's been there. Done that. Every single thing you can do in the game, he has done. And has a story to share about it. Even if noone cares. And usually noone cares. The D.i.c.k He knows the game like the back of his hand. He knows all mechanics, he knows all classes, and plays most of them very well. He's usually worth at least 2 of those casuals. And he never fails to let them know about it. The Rank Whore The aren't in a guild for the company. Why am I still only entry rank? When will I advance? How can I get higher? Guys, I've donated to the Guild Bank, can I get the next rank now please? The Looter They'll only be a short-time member of the guild anyway. They just camp the Guild Bank consoles on the fleet and respond to every guild ad they see. They don't even say hello. If they're allowed to take anything at the first rank, they will. Then they quit anyway. The Returning Guest You've kicked him for whatever. But look, he's back. He's changed his toon name. He changed his legacy name. He even changed his style. But no worries, he'll back to his old self in a few days. Edited December 6, 2017 by Schoock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xordevoreaux Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 (edited) Being a former guild leader, I'd add the following to the list: The gay He joins your guild. And the very first, the most important thing you get to know about him is that he's gay. Not to hijack the conversation with this, but before any social justice warrior gets too high on that horse, I'll say this: I'm gay, and certainly anyone who has ever gotten into our voice chat system knows it, but you're right, I agree with you on principle. When the very first thing they say in guild chat is "Hi, everyone, I'm new to the guild and my name is BelamiboiTwink and I'm gay, really gay, very gay, I hope you all are okay with that, thank you." [10 second pause] "Did I mention I'm gay?" Trouble. Drama. Even if they do nothing wrong whatsoever, follow all the rules, don't get anyone else upset to the point that other guildies /gquit, there is an almost 100% chance the person will (in dramatic fashion) rage quit because someone said anything 0.00000000001% off color about gays or anything even remotely dealing with sexuality at all. I do treat voice chat a bit differently from guild chat. I'm 50 IRL, and we've a woman in our guild easily 60+ IRL and straight, but she and I get into some catty conversations that make everyone else in the voice channel curl their toes. I'm thinking I should probably create an over-50+ (years in real life) sub-channel on our voice chat server called "The Lounge" just for us, lol. Edited December 5, 2017 by xordevoreaux Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xordevoreaux Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 The Looter They'll only be a short-time member of the guild anyway. They just camp the Guild Bank consoles on the fleet and respond to every guild ad they see. They don't even say hello. If they're allowed to take anything at the first rank, they will. Then they quit anyway. Yeah, not much to do here but keep the bank locked down, just the way of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xordevoreaux Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 The Rank Whore The aren't in a guild for the company. Why am I still only entry rank? When will I advance? How can I get higher? Guys, I've donated to the Guild Bank, can I get the next rank now please? I don't know how anyone else runs their guild, but it's a disqualifying event in my guild for someone to ask to be an officer. Usually the ones who ask are the least qualified, and motivated for all the wrong reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schoock Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 (edited) Not to hijack the conversation with this, but before any social justice warrior gets too high on that horse, I'll say this: I'm gay, and certainly anyone who has ever gotten into our voice chat system knows it, but you're right, I agree with you on principle. When the very first thing they say in guild chat is "Hi, everyone, I'm new to the guild and my name is BelamiboiTwink and I'm gay, really gay, very gay, I hope you all are okay with that, thank you." [10 second pause] "Did I mention I'm gay?" Trouble. Drama. Even if they do nothing wrong whatsoever, follow all the rules, don't get anyone else upset to the point that other guildies /gquit, there is an almost 100% chance the person will (in dramatic fashion) rage quit because someone said anything 0.00000000001% off color about gays or anything even remotely dealing with sexuality at all. Yes, of course. I don't have problem with anyone being gay or straight or whatever, but I do mind when their sexual orientation is the very first thing they have to announce, and bring it up at least once per day, just to be sure. Edited December 5, 2017 by Schoock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xordevoreaux Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 (edited) The Veteran He's been there. Done that. Every single thing you can do in the game, he has done. And has a story to share about it. Even if noone cares. And usually noone cares. The D.i.c.k He knows the game like the back of his hand. He knows all mechanics, he knows all classes, and plays most of them very well. He's usually worth at least 2 of those casuals. And he never fails to let them know about it. For me, on these two characterizations, there are definitely some folks who drone on about what they do, have done, can do, etc., etc., and it gets old (thankfully we have few of them in our guild). Every once in a while they do drop a gem (such as detailing a really good combat mechanic against a tough mob) that makes me glad they said something. If they could just drop the ego and boastfulness, they have something of value to contribute. Edited December 5, 2017 by xordevoreaux Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nmyownworld Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 (edited) Don't forget the rank title: Colonel Contentious. Will ask a question about an aspect of the game, and then spend 10 minutes arguing about how the answer given is wrong. When my patience wore out, I'd say why did they ask the question if they they already know the answer. Cue chat with guild leader about Colonel Contentious' hurt feelings 'cause I was so mean. Ah, I didn't mind Purveyors of Need. Except when they would pounce as soon as I logged in to the game. Nothing like having requests to go do things Purveyors of Need want to do as soon as the loading screen clears. Edited December 5, 2017 by Nmyownworld Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlagaNerezza Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 (edited) Wide-Band Communications Officer This person hears a female voice in communications channel and is immediately into that conversation. You didn't even know they could talk, but man is this guy chatty suddenly. He's laughing at all the girls jokes. You didn't see him all month attend an event? Oh she's doing it and he needs that group invite immediately. He's into going to a private channel if she is and asks more than once. Young, old, skinny, fat? The wide-band comms officer has you covered. He'll make sure that female feels welcome. Maybe a little creepy. He's for sure in his "late 20's". He's definitely got time to help out all your female members. He's just being friendly...... Edited December 5, 2017 by PlagaNerezza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarova Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 Your list is the reason I refuse to join any serious guild, however this...Purveyor of Need If this person could ask for a group while in the create-a-toon window, they would. They can't function alone for 5 minutes. Wanna group? I got some new gear, we could hit some heroics. How about some flashpoints? I know we just finished three flashpoints but there's more on the list. Can you help me find the legacy gear vendor? There's a place on Tython to get a datacron next to a waterfall but I can't get to it, can you help me? ...is the most annoying type of player/guild member ever! I think this one would ask someone to drive over and help them with a real life bio break if they could! I know someone who is very like this with a bit of Major Headache thrown in and then has the audacity to "shush" everyone else when they want to listen to a cut scene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordTurin Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 The Know It All (but not really) This one is convinced he (or she) knows everything about the game, even if they are usually wrong. Shield on a dps character. Stack defense via unlettered warding mods and enhancements. Or tanks aren't supposed to pick up adds on Malaphar... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khaleg Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 LOL, nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casirabit Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 Wide-Band Communications Officer This person hears a female voice in communications channel and is immediately into that conversation. You didn't even know they could talk, but man is this guy chatty suddenly. He's laughing at all the girls jokes. You didn't see him all month attend an event? Oh she's doing it and he needs that group invite immediately. He's into going to a private channel if she is and asks more than once. Young, old, skinny, fat? The wide-band comms officer has you covered. He'll make sure that female feels welcome. Maybe a little creepy. He's for sure in his "late 20's". He's definitely got time to help out all your female members. He's just being friendly...... I will add a bit to this one. They find out your boyfriend plays the game and every time your boyfriend isn't able to log on they make comments about it and offers to help you (even when you haven't even asked for help)..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draqsko Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 (edited) Wide-Band Communications Officer This person hears a female voice in communications channel and is immediately into that conversation. You didn't even know they could talk, but man is this guy chatty suddenly. He's laughing at all the girls jokes. You didn't see him all month attend an event? Oh she's doing it and he needs that group invite immediately. He's into going to a private channel if she is and asks more than once. Young, old, skinny, fat? The wide-band comms officer has you covered. He'll make sure that female feels welcome. Maybe a little creepy. He's for sure in his "late 20's". He's definitely got time to help out all your female members. He's just being friendly...... This is just creep material, had to deal with this particular character in a different game, only as my Assistant GM. To make a long story short, if you see lots of females just randomly leaving the guild better check up on what this guy is doing. Found out the hard way that WBCO was really pressing for ERP and making it out that all the officers did that so none of the women would say anything to anyone as they walked out the door. If it wasn't for the fact that one 11 yo girl's mother created a character to PM me and tell me about it, I wouldn't have ever known. And you really don't want to know how it all ended, I probably can't even post the threats he made against the person that replaced him as AGM (sort of chose a woman to replace him). So yeah, watch out for this guy, some are innocent but every now and then one turns out to be a real creeper. Edited December 6, 2017 by Draqsko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlagaNerezza Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 This is just creep material, had to deal with this particular character in a different game, only as my Assistant GM. To make a long story short, if you see lots of females just randomly leaving the guild better check up on what this guy is doing. Found out the hard way that WBCO was really pressing for ERP and making it out that all the officers did that so none of the women would say anything to anyone as they walked out the door. If it wasn't for the fact that one 11 yo girl's mother created a character to PM me and tell me about it, I wouldn't have ever known. And you really don't want to know how it all ended, I probably can't even post the threats he made against the person that replaced him as AGM (sort of chose a woman to replace him). So yeah, watch out for this guy, some are innocent but every now and then one turns out to be a real creeper. I have only seen the two varieties. Harmless puppy dog guy and annoying creep. I've never personally seen the uber creeper. If I did he'd be gone and reported. I don't tolerate that at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phyreblade Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 I do treat voice chat a bit differently from guild chat. I'm 50 IRL, and we've a woman in our guild easily 60+ IRL and straight, but she and I get into some catty conversations that make everyone else in the voice channel curl their toes. I'm thinking I should probably create an over-50+ (years in real life) sub-channel on our voice chat server called "The Lounge" just for us, lol. We call our own channel "the cantina" and I'm pretty sure my own rank should be "Queen of Innuendo" in there. Or always, I dunno. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DraonaiMimnov Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 (edited) Not to hijack the conversation with this, but before any social justice warrior gets too high on that horse, I'll say this: I'm gay, and certainly anyone who has ever gotten into our voice chat system knows it, but you're right, I agree with you on principle. When the very first thing they say in guild chat is "Hi, everyone, I'm new to the guild and my name is BelamiboiTwink and I'm gay, really gay, very gay, I hope you all are okay with that, thank you." [10 second pause] "Did I mention I'm gay?" Trouble. Drama. Even if they do nothing wrong whatsoever, follow all the rules, don't get anyone else upset to the point that other guildies /gquit, there is an almost 100% chance the person will (in dramatic fashion) rage quit because someone said anything 0.00000000001% off color about gays or anything even remotely dealing with sexuality at all. I do treat voice chat a bit differently from guild chat. I'm 50 IRL, and we've a woman in our guild easily 60+ IRL and straight, but she and I get into some catty conversations that make everyone else in the voice channel curl their toes. I'm thinking I should probably create an over-50+ (years in real life) sub-channel on our voice chat server called "The Lounge" just for us, lol. That's it, I'm quitting because you said something off color about gays. ... ... ... ... ... ... Just kidding, I don't even know who you are ingame. Edited December 6, 2017 by DraonaiMimnov Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlagaNerezza Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 General Ganja/Admiral Alcohol Happy Wednesday! Time to Celebrate. Sunday Morning! Time to celebrate. General Ganja and Admiral Alcohol got you covered mate. These regulars are always letting you know they are consuming substances. Did you ever want to know the schedule of there next upcoming bong rip? Me neither, but they are sharing anyways. I'm so wasted right now! Here's a toast to you Admiral Alcohol! Your dedication is amazing. I loved your general dps drop during the last boss as your buzz kicked in and we wiped. We really needed to wait for your tenth bio break of the evening as well. Someone wake up General Ganja. He dosed off again and stopped healing the tank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarova Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 This is just creep material, had to deal with this particular character in a different game, only as my Assistant GM. To make a long story short, if you see lots of females just randomly leaving the guild better check up on what this guy is doing. Found out the hard way that WBCO was really pressing for ERP and making it out that all the officers did that so none of the women would say anything to anyone as they walked out the door. If it wasn't for the fact that one 11 yo girl's mother created a character to PM me and tell me about it, I wouldn't have ever known. And you really don't want to know how it all ended, I probably can't even post the threats he made against the person that replaced him as AGM (sort of chose a woman to replace him). So yeah, watch out for this guy, some are innocent but every now and then one turns out to be a real creeper. What country are you in? In the UK this is a police matter and even if it was a long time ago, you would still be able to report it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts