Marr

[Lunafox]

 

I haven't read your story in which Satele dies (I think it's a Jedi one - in which case I want to finish the class story first), so maybe she's atoned herself already, but that did give me a laugh when I read it this morning. Satele preaching about family - best taken with a pinch of salt.

 

Anyway, the fork is explained! Gutted about Liaseph (and Trix having to see her like that), but looking forward to the next part

 

 

As an edited aside, I got really confused when I saw that #Marr was trending on Twitter before I realised they meant Andrew Marr. Me being dumb.

 

The Foundation of All Desire, is essentially a Jedi story, though I do touch on other classes as well in a small way. I honestly don't think it would spoil the vanilla class story, aside from learning the companions. There are very minor spoilers for Shadow of Revan up to about the beginning of KotFE. Satele is in a similar position as Marr, she may have gained her insights because she died before Marr, so she's been there longer; I might write about her journey someday, but there are things I'd rather do first.

As I'd said, Liaseph had a sad ending, and it is painful, she was a good person who had a hard time coping with the changes her life had taken. Some of it was her own fault, other things, not so much. It's funny that you call her Trix, which is my Doc's nickname for her in the other story

 

I think I might have been a bit amused too at seeing #Marr trending lol. Thanks for sharing that with me! ^^

 

 

Oh Ravage Ravage Ravage... *shakes her head* So my first inclination of Ravage helping them escape, working with Zane and miss Twi'lek twit was right? I have no words right now. Well. A lot of bad ones... mostly bad ones. He's such a jerk right? You've made a great villain out of that man.

 

Despite already knowing the gist of what went on that night, it was rather harrowing to 'relive' it so up close and detailed. I know it's 'wrong' but in a way I feel it's half a blessing that the Jedi ended up taking Liatrix's memories of that night. What she witnessed is... nothing no child ever should. Wonderful depiction of all the events though! Also loved the detail of Hord saving Liatrix's life.

 

I do find Marr and Satele make for 'odd' companions in the Force Tide but... in a good way. And uh, there's no atoning for the amount of crap you've pulled, okay Satele? Psh. Sorry.

 

Riveting chapter Luna!

 

Ravage was always a bit of a villain, we just got to find out how much and how badly. I'm glad you enjoyed his villainous ways, I do love a good villain. ^^

It was pretty horrifying to see what happened that night in full detail and I agree with you, as wrong as it might have been, the Jedi did her a favor in removing her memories at that time. The way she was going it was quite likely she would have ended up institutionalized, as you say, no child should have to see or experience that. And there was more to it as you might remember, which I may or may not show. I might just allude to it. Liatrix has gotten much of her memory back, but there are still times, when some triggers a memory and brings it back.

Satele and Marr, yep, and odd combo, certainly not one of my choosing, I'm just playing to the game with that. I think Satele would have quite a bit to atone for herself, as we know. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

 

Having to watch this scene and not being able to interfere sure does count as some kind of penance.

Well done!

I think you're right, that would be a terrible thing to experience, but at the same time, he got to see the truth and learned a few things he didn't know about in life.

 

I didn't know what happened that night, so this chapter was especially heartbreaking to me. And I felt it had to have been utterly horrible for poor Marr to have to witness that whole thing and not be able to do anything about it. I'm not sure anyone deserves a penance like that. But as always it was so extremely well done that it kept me riveted to the very last word:)

 

Some of it was mentioned and alluded to in The Foundation of All Desire, but this shed a lot more detail on the events. It was a pretty horrible thing to endure for Marr, but at the same time, he is learning the answers he was looking for and truths he didn't know and sometimes that comes at a hefty price. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I really appreciate you letting me know what you thought.

 

Thanks, guys, your continued support and comments mean a lot.

[MishaCantu]

Gads, I read this chapter and got sidetracked by something and never commented.

 

Valkorian made a statement in game, "A life without regret is a life well lived." I am not sure I agree with that. If we never do anything we regret, some life lessons can never be learned. Although heartbreaking, Marr facing the truth of his life, including the regrets can only bring closure.

 

A gruesome end for Liaseph and wrenching for young Liatrix, but it puts that part to rest and explains how Liatrix came to be in the hands of the Jedi.

 

Am I disremembering or did Liatrix remember the ruin and the woman who could not kill her as being in the Jedi temple and not her home on DK? If so, then that means that her memory was altered more than first thought. Or I could be totally wrong and confused, it has been a long time since I read your other stories.

 

Anyway, although a sad chapter, it was very enlightening and, as always, I await more.

[Lunafox]

Gads, I read this chapter and got sidetracked by something and never commented.

 

Valkorian made a statement in game, "A life without regret is a life well lived." I am not sure I agree with that. If we never do anything we regret, some life lessons can never be learned. Although heartbreaking, Marr facing the truth of his life, including the regrets can only bring closure.

 

A gruesome end for Liaseph and wrenching for young Liatrix, but it puts that part to rest and explains how Liatrix came to be in the hands of the Jedi.

 

Am I disremembering or did Liatrix remember the ruin and the woman who could not kill her as being in the Jedi temple and not her home on DK? If so, then that means that her memory was altered more than first thought. Or I could be totally wrong and confused, it has been a long time since I read your other stories.

 

Anyway, although a sad chapter, it was very enlightening and, as always, I await more.

 

Oh, that's ok, no worries. I did wonder though and I'm grateful that you remembered, your comments mean a lot.

 

It's interesting that you bring up Valkorian's stance on regret because Liatrix shares a similar stance to his, I think in that sense they're very much alike. She fears regret above all things and wants to live a life free of regret and I think that's why some things are difficult for her to learn. Marr, on the other hand, has many regrets and he revisits them and tries to sort out where he went wrong, and what he could have done differently and in that way seeks to get his closure.

 

And yeah, I always knew that poor Liaseph would have a bad ending, but in this, it just shows the degree of how awful it would be. I have my doubts though, that she would do anything differently if given the chance...maybe a few things, but the main decisions would likely remain the same. Even though she and Marr had problems, deep down she loved him, more than anything--and like Padme, probably even more than her child.

 

I think in that you might be misremembering. I didn't really elaborate too much about where Aruna Var/Una Vara was at the time of the explosion in the other story. I thought I'd elaborate more here and show that she wasn't quite as cold-hearted as the previous story made her seem...she did have trouble executing the mission, one reason she chose to do it that way, because any other sort of execution that would demand that she look in their eyes or be near them, would probably be impossible.

 

It was a sad bit to write, I'd like to think the worst of it is out of the way now...now it's just a matter of revealing a few more little details and wrapping up.

 

Thanks again for your insightful comments, they are greatly appreciated. <3

[Lunafox]

Star Wars: The Old Republic

Marr

 

~Chapter Forty-Nine~

 

 

Some truths are best left undiscovered.

 

By morning, the fires had turned to embers, leaving only random plumes of smoke wavering up from the blackened soil. With the sunrise, came the Crisis Management teams dispatched by Imperial Intelligence.

 

I kept watch over Liaseph’s body and that of the unfortunate slave child murdered and placed by Ravage’s men. I questioned how easily I had believed the remains were that of my child. I suppose a grieving eye sees no hope and the worst is accepted without question.

 

As the teams scoured the ruins, the pungent stench of ashes and char rose higher with every scrap of debris moved.

 

Every face was that of a stranger until a familiar figure appeared on the scene.

 

Tersus navigated the teams, pausing long enough to pull vital information from each group leader. Each fact was diligently recorded and as always I saw the icy calculation in his eyes.

 

His time in Destab had served to give him an undeniable presence and authority few men carried and to many of them, he was nearly as intimidating as the Sith.

 

As the leader of Destab, it was not his place to lead such investigations, but given his connection to me, I suspected he requested inclusion.

 

I walked alongside him unseen as he conducted his analysis of the site. He knelt at Liaseph’s side and examined her remains and that of the child meant to be Liatrix.

 

His brows furrowed thoughtfully and though he was never one to bend to sentiment, I sensed his anger at the waste of life.

 

“Whoever is responsible for this atrocity—will pay dearly,” he muttered as he drew sheets over the bodies.

 

He stood and scanned the site until he found the officer he was searching for. “See to it these remains are secured and treated with the respect due a Dark Councillor, is that understood?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

The officer summoned his team and collected the remains as instructed. I lingered until I could no longer see them.

 

Tersus strode across the grounds and stooped to retrieve a soot-covered datapad. After spit polishing the device with his kerchief, he discovered the pad was relatively intact and tucked it under his arm.

 

He retreated to the tent erected to serve as a makeshift command center and gestured to a pair of Imperial guards securing the area.

 

“You two—stand watch. See to it, I’m not disturbed.”

 

“Yes sir,” the men saluted in unison and flanked the entry to the tent as he disappeared between the flaps.

 

Inside, Tersus turned the datapad over and examined it thoroughly before slicing into it. “Use decryption tool N4-CR,” he muttered to himself.

 

The computer searched the database and downloaded the decryption tool. A minute later, the coded entry gave way to basic, revealing several journal entries. He settled at the com and huddled over the datapad and I stood at his shoulder to read along with him.

 

 

Natunda, Elona 3rd.

 

I’ve never been one to keep a journal. In all honesty, I’d rather talk to someone but I’m not in a place where I feel comfortable venturing out into the city alone yet.

 

It’s times like this when I miss Lennie the most. I can’t believe she’s dead and there are times I can’t stand it. She didn’t deserve to die. Sometimes I catch myself hating him for what he did to her. There is a side to him he never shows me, but I know it’s there all the same. He is both champion and cutthroat. He is my rescuer and my love and there are days I can’t reconcile these wildly disparate aspects of who he is.

 

When I think about all we’ve endured, I thought we’d be closer, but the opposite seems to be true. We tip toe around each other like we’re walking on nightbird shells. He says so little. I wish I could read his mind so I could know his thoughts, but I can’t and I begin to imagine what he might be thinking and I get afraid. What if it will never be the same again?

 

***

 

Satunda, Elona 5th.

 

I can’t believe I suggested we have a child. I must be truly desperate. Who am I fooling? I am desperate. Of course, he doesn’t want any and I refuse to be one of those schemers that does this on their own, I want him to agree, and I want him to want a child as much as I do.

 

He’s changed and I’m afraid he’s changed so much that I’ll never understand him. The dark powers he controls terrify me. Some nights I swear the shadows come alive and touch me with their claws as he sleeps. And yet there are times when I see a sweetness in him—like when I discovered he’d stolen my holo portrait from home because he didn’t wish to forget me. I love him, but I’m never certain if he feels the same way.

 

He’s promised me a home here and he told me I could make it what I want. I suppose this is how men show their affection—with things. Would I sound greedy if I said his time is more valuable than anything else he could give me?

 

There is so much to grow accustomed to here, I wonder if I ever will. I just wish he wasn’t so distant.

 

***

 

Datunda, Kelona 7th.

 

I miss him. I wanted to com him today, but I didn’t dare. He’d explained before leaving that it could jeopardize his missions, so I must never call, no matter how tempted. To take my mind off his absence, I visited the city to see about decorations for our home. The Imperials…are difficult people. My accent gives me away and they know I’m an outsider.

 

Perhaps I’m paranoid, but I feel like they’re whispering about me. When I walk by, the people fall silent and when I’m far enough away, they laugh. I suppose my clothes are too colourful and my hair too elaborate. I stand out too much.

 

Note to self: Purchase enough boring grey material to cover a star cruiser and make clothes from it. Everything here is grey—the sky, the street, the buildings, the people, their food, their clothes. Everything! I’m a shimmer bird in colourless purgatory. I hate being alone. I need to make some friends.

 

***

 

Atunda, Nelona 6th.

 

I can’t believe I actually returned to the club to visit. I debated seeing Master Vowrawn but thought better of it. Ares wouldn’t like it. Then I thought I’d visit the lounge and speak to my former co-workers.

 

I was a fool. I was never friends with any of these people. They behaved as if they didn’t know me and turned me out. Then I thought, who needs them! I have money! Lots of it! I went to the shops favored by those of means and thought to befriend them instead, but they’re as mean as gundarks. I hate it here.

 

***

 

Natunda, Nelona 15th.

 

I’ve decided to devote myself to the house more. I want it to be perfect for him. I’m going to make the room I’ve seen in my dreams. I have the feeling it’s important to him and I want him to feel at home here, as much as I do. I’ve taken to calling it Little Alderaan, but I want something of the Sith here for him. The strange man in my dreams insists Ares would be happy if I made this room. I think I know a good idea when I hear one! Even if the decorator thinks I’m crazy…

 

***

 

Datunda, Helona 2nd.

 

I’m almost embarrassed to admit, I think I have a crush on the man in my dream. He talks to me more than Ares does and he has this perverse, twisted quality about him that I’m ashamed to say I like. He makes me laugh and blush. When I’m with him, it feels like he goes right through me. If the altar in my dreams could speak, it would have torrid tales to tell. I’m actually starting to look forward to bedtime. The dreams are so vivid. I blush at the thought of it. I’m being silly. Maybe it’s wishful thinking showing up in my dreams.

 

***

 

Katunda, Melona 1st.

 

I finished the room and Ares hated it—it reminds him of his ancestor, Tulak Hord, who also happens to be who I’m dreaming about. He says Tulak is real and I should be careful around him. I can’t believe it. My dreams were the only fun thing about being here.

 

All that effort for nothing. I suppose the decorator will be happy now.

 

I’m worried—how do I keep from dreaming? I need to stop fantasizing about this man—ghost, thing…whatever he is.

 

Ares says he wants something from me—what it could be, I don’t know yet. Sometimes I feel sorry for him—he speaks so passionately about being alive again and all the things he’d do if he was.

 

On the bright side, Ares stole the ginx from the Thuls and it’s living in our garden. Today was very much like Alderaan when we first met. I missed having his arms around me and I missed how his body felt against mine. I missed the way he whispers. I love him and I’ve missed being with him. I wish it could be like this forever.

 

***

 

Atunda, Melona 15th.

I saw Master Rylister today…he answers to Abradon now. I barely recognize him anymore. The way he snarls…the cruel and cutting words. He told me what his expectations for me were on Alderaan and the more I listened, the more I realized that he hadn’t changed, he’d only hidden it better on Alderaan. In a way, he’s more honest as a Sith.

 

He wouldn’t help us. It seems that his friendship with the Zanes means more to him than I do. I’m scared, what if the Zanes try to kill Ares again?

 

***

 

Natunda, Melona 20th.

 

Rylister is dead. So is Simeon Ur…Ravage’s son. They killed each other. Ares arranged it with Master Spindrall on Korriban. Ares, responsible for the deaths of two of Ravage’s apprentices and his son now. I can’t believe my Ares would do something so cruel. He insists it’s the ‘way of the Sith.’ It sickens me.

 

If that’s not enough, he’s returning to full-time duty. Instead of hours or days, he’ll be gone for months at a time now. He had the nerve to suggest I hire a servant for companionship. It’s not the same. I want him, not some stranger. I can’t imagine a stranger living in our house. Sometimes I don’t think he understands me at all.

 

***

 

Atunda, Melona 31st.

 

Wings of the Thranta…I’m pregnant. How the hell am I pregnant? This can’t be. Implants don’t fail…hmph. Apparently, they do and they have.

 

Tulak won’t leave me alone. Every minute I’m trying to rest, he’s in my mind, badgering me to let him touch me and to let him touch the baby. I’m afraid he wants to hurt it or take it away somehow. I’m a wreck. I can’t sleep. I need to get out of here.

 

***

 

Natunda, Yelona 13th.

 

I’m shaking inside. I can’t believe what I did. I must be insane. I don’t understand what possessed me. What was I thinking? I’ve taken four showers and I still feel dirty.

 

I should never have gone to the theater tonight—but I did. I went alone and I sat alone and the society women mocked me. I heard them call me Alderaanian trash in the bathroom. I don’t think they knew I was there. I hid in the stall until they left. After intermission was over, I went back to my seat. They kept turning around and pointing at me and whispering. I could see the hate and disgust in their eyes. I left halfway through the second act. I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction that they’d made me cry. They’d probably think that was funny too.

 

As I was running away, I wasn’t watching where I was going and collided with Ravage of all people. I tried to escape him, but he held me. He asked what had me so upset and wiped my tears. I told him about the nasty women inside and when he asked, I described them. Turns out that hissing harpy was his wife. Why am I not surprised?

 

It felt good to be held. He was on his way to meet her, but he never made it inside.

 

We ended up walking downtown. I told him about the nightmares and the spirit. He told me he had a necklace—an artifact—that would help me. We went to his house…I’d never been to his actual home before. Inside, it rivaled the best palaces on Alderaan.

 

So, he gave me the necklace from his collection and I ended up giving him a night. I didn’t tell him about the baby. I’m such an idiot. I can’t see him again. Ever. I am trash. I’d better encode this. If I had any sense I’d burn it…but it’s all I have to talk to.

 

***

 

Satunda, Kelona 13th.

 

I can’t believe I haven’t written in five months. The baby hasn’t made it easy, I’ve been so tired and sick. I’ve managed to stay away from Kaas City until today. I couldn’t avoid it, I had to see the healer about the baby. It had stopped kicking. I feared Tulak might have hurt it out of spite over the necklace. I hadn’t dreamt of him in months. I could actually sleep. The baby is fine just quiet apparently.

 

I ran into the one person I’d hoped to avoid. Ravage didn’t know I was pregnant when we spent the night together and now that I’m showing, he thinks it’s his. He actually smiled until I told him it wasn’t his. Then I told him our night together was a huge mistake and that it would never happen again.

 

I fled in a taxi before he could say anything. There are nights I miss him—he would talk to me—something Ares rarely did. It’s been months and I have no idea if he’s even alive—he’s off pursuing some Dreaded Masters or something for the Emperor and I’m not even allowed to com him. How long am I supposed to go on wondering?

 

***

 

Datunda, Selona 17th.

 

I’m definitely going to hell…but it was worth it. I saw Ravage’s wife at the museum (He doesn’t like museums, so I figured I was safe and I had to get out of the house.) She was standing there with all her harpy friends and I heard them whispering again. I stroked my belly and twirled the necklace her husband had given me. I could tell she recognized it.

 

I thought her eyes were going to fall out of her head. I flaunted my pregnancy as much as I could and then I left.

I see now why the Sith like revenge so much. If she was going to tell everyone I’m trash and get people to shun me, I may as well play the part and make the bi.tch wonder.

 

***

 

Satunda, Nelona 25th.

 

Still no word from Ares. I think the baby is coming. I hope I die, I don’t deserve to live. They’re right about me, I am trash. Una, the servant I hired, is insisting we go to the hospital. She’s worried about the baby. Everyone worries about the baby. No one worries about me. Another thing I have to go through alone. I hate this. I think it’s time—it hurts.

 

***

 

Satunda, Helona 15th.

 

Ares finally came back and I was allowed to go home with him and the baby. We named the girl, Liatrix. I don’t matter anymore, I know that now. She is everything. Every spare moment he has, he devotes to the child. I hate her.

 

***

 

 

LifeDay/Winter Fete

 

He spoils the girl too much. Whatever she wants, he gives her. He doesn’t even ask what I think. She’s his world. I hate my daughter and I hate myself more for hating her. What’s wrong with me? This is a pointless exercise. I’m a failure as a wife and mother, as a woman…as everything. Stupid journal doesn’t help!

 

***

 

Atunda, Nelona 25th.

 

I thought I’d lost this thing. Liatrix turned three today. We visited the zoo, all of us together. As every other birthday, he showered her with gifts, including a monkey lizard of all things. Damn thing followed us home. She’s named it Lord Taral, which means ‘protector’ or ‘little brother’—I’m not sure. I feel as though I should be bowing to it with a name like that.

 

The creature is a nightmare, but she loves it and Ares sees no harm in it. She’s his little princess and she plays to it. He claims to feel nothing, but he’s different with her. I suppose I’m being unfair, he buys me gifts too, but he still doesn’t understand, it’s not the trinkets I want. I want him. I want him alone. I don’t want to share him with her. Even if it’s only once…if only for a few hours.

 

***

 

Atunda, Welona 28th.

 

Ravage has learned where we live. He’s forced his way inside twice now. I can’t fight him off. It’s easier if I let him do what he wants.

 

His wife is dead now. He killed her…he said he did it for me. I thought I was going to be sick. I hated her, but I never wanted her dead and I certainly don’t want to replace her. He has this mad idea that I should leave Ares and Liatrix and live with him. He wants another son to replace the one he lost. Maker help me…what do I? I can’t live like this. I hate this. If only I could keep Ares from leaving on his missions…then I’d be safe. Still another month before he returns to me.

 

***

 

Satunda, Elona 30th.

 

Thank the maker. Ares is home and Una was kind enough to take Liatrix away to the city. Finally a moment alone. I made the most of it and for a little while, it was like old times again.I debated telling him the truth, but if I did, he’d leave me, I know it. He’d hate me forever. I love him, I don’t deserve him…but I will do all I can to make up for what I’ve done.

 

***

 

Datunda, Kelona 26th.

 

Ares left for another tour yesterday, and today, I verified that I’m pregnant again. I suspected as much, but I couldn’t say anything, I had to be sure. If it was Ravage’s, and he found out somehow, I’d never be rid of him, but thankfully, that’s not an issue. The genetic tests confirmed he wasn’t the father. I had to erase the droid’s memory bank afterward, but I managed it. I plan to surprise Ares when he returns.

 

***

 

Natunda, Telona 11th.

 

I was released from the hospital today. Ravage forced himself into the house again yesterday. He was livid when I told him I was having another child with Ares and that it was over. If it weren’t for Liatrix, Ravage might have killed me as well as the baby. I’m relieved I didn’t tell Ares, I’ll grieve for both of us.

 

I think Liatrix shocked him. She has her father’s powers…I’ll never understand them. They scare me, but for once I was grateful she has them. She saved my life. I’m scared that she’ll talk about Ravage to her father when he returns. If that happened it would be a mess.

 

Una spent the better part of the day locating and cleaning the silverware after Liatrix’s attack. I hope Ravage never comes back, but I know better. He won’t let this go. So long as we live, he’ll never let it go.

 

Una suggested to me, we all go to Alderaan when Ares leaves for his missions and to stay there until he returns home. She’s a good friend to me and I’m thankful to have her—she’s so much like Lennie was. It’s nice to finally have a friend I can trust.

 

***

 

Katunda, Nelona 25th.

 

Today, Liatrix turns four years old. A joyful day! I made her favorite things to eat and ordered a Coruscanti chocolate cake smuggled in. Ares commissioned matching necklaces for us both, and so many toys that a new wing might be needed for them all. I’ve never seen Liatrix so happy.

 

She is a clever girl, so much like her father despite his insistence to the contrary. I hope the fates can forgive me…I was a horrible mother to her for so long, I hope she never remembers that time. I’m ashamed of my jealousy. I have much to make up for and want nothing more than to spend every day of my life doing so. I’m grateful and lucky, far luckier than I deserve. For the first time in years, my heart is full. I love them both more than I can ever say.

 

***

 

Tersus sighed and pushed back from the console. He ran his hands over his face and squeezed the bridge of his nose as if soothing a headache.

 

“Upload contents to my personal server. Use encryption key Resh-Esk-Grek-Resh-Esk-Trill. My eyes only.”

After the upload finished, he turned the datapad over in his hands. “Delete all entries, save for the last.”

 

I drifted away from Tersus and turned my back to him. There were no more mysteries—no more missing pieces.

 

There was nothing to do now, but return to the Forcetide and confront my ultimate fate, and yet I felt compelled to remain. I needed more time. I needed perspective. I needed…to avenge them.

 

At the promise of vengeance, the darkness roiled within me, demanding its hateful sustenance. I wasn’t prepared to deal with Master Shan and her Jedi calm any more than I was prepared to fight the abyss.

 

The moment sharpened and I remembered what came next. I receded into the shadows and waited.

The tent flaps flew apart and the man I’d been in life stalked into the tent. “I was told I would find you here, Tersus.”

 

“My lord.”

 

“Report.”

 

Tersus cleared his throat and straightened. “I’ve conferred with the teams and the general consensus among them is, that this was an assassination attempt against you. A series of Baradium Bisulfate charges were set around the foundation—whoever was responsible, knows their way around explosives.

 

“It is with the utmost regret that I must inform you—your wife and daughter didn’t survive the blast. Please accept my condolences, my lord.”

 

“Where are they?”

 

“I had my men secure their remains. They await your instructions. You have my every assurance, my lord, that I will personally find the one culpable.”

 

“Were you able to salvage anything of use?”

 

“There is a great deal of ground yet to cover, the men are working on it as we speak, but there was this,” he said, as he proffered the datapad. “Regrettably, I was only able to recover one of the entries. Perhaps it may be of some comfort.”

 

“What of my wife’s servant…the Twi’lek…Una Vara?”

 

“Her body hasn’t been recovered as of yet. I doubt she survived. Something about her name troubles me. I trust Intelligence did a background check?”

 

I sat heavily at the conference table at the center of the tent. “Yes…Xesh saw to it.”

 

“I would offer you a drink, my lord…but regrettably I have nothing here.”

 

“You came here to work, I wouldn’t expect such comforts here—but I appreciate the gesture no less.” I stared down at the datapad as if it might bite.

 

“Perhaps you’d like a moment to yourself…” Tersus offered and indicated the datapad.

 

“I would. There’s nothing further.”

 

“Know, that I remain at your disposal, my lord.”

 

Tersus saluted and left me alone with my thoughts. The man I had been in life read the entry and turned over the datapad.

 

I took a step toward the past, but a hand gently clasped my elbow. I glanced back at the force stopping me. “Master Shan, you’ve returned.”

 

“You can’t change the past. The man you were will never be privy to anything more than what is on that pad. He won’t hear you—none of this—will ever change. Let go of your hatred…your need for vengeance. It’ll serve nothing.”

 

“It’ll serve me. I shall have no peace while Ravage lives.”

 

“Take what time you need, but know this, the present is all there is.”

 

((to be continued…))

Edited May 20, 2017 by Lunafox

[Foxfirerose]

 

So now we know what Liaseph's life was really like. It is so terribly sad, and I am glad that Marr was able to see it all and to know what devastation he was responsible for. It is harder to sympathize with him knowing how unhappy and tragic he made her life.

 

I found the parts about Tulak Hord really interesting, and for a while you had me wondering if a force ghost could actually father a child:)

 

And then Ravage is back in her life again. I almost think she would have been better off if Marr had left her with him. I smiled when I read the part about Liaseph flaunting her pregnancy around his wife while wearing the necklace he had given her. She deserved that small satisfaction at least.

 

 

A very fascinating chapter....I am looking forward to the next one as always:)

[MayhemofChaonus]

I suppose this is how men show their affection—with things. Would I sound greedy if I said his time is more valuable than anything else he could give me?

 

Lol well you hit the nail on the head there. Thing is we only do that because that's what women want: things, lots and lots of things, sometimes they don't realize it. Of course there's the age-old trap wives put their husbands in:

 

Wife: "You work too hard, I never see you!"

 

Husband cuts hours and spends more time at home

 

Wife: "Why are you always home? We need more money! You never buy me anything nice!"

 

*Muffled screaming*

 

I’m almost embarrassed to admit, I think I have a crush on the man in my dream. He talks to me more than Ares does and he has this perverse, twisted quality about him that I’m ashamed to say I like. He makes me laugh and blush. When I’m with him, it feels like he goes right through me. If the altar in my dreams could speak, it would have torrid tales to tell. I’m actually starting to look forward to bedtime. The dreams are so vivid. I blush at the thought of it. I’m being silly. Maybe it’s wishful thinking showing up in my dreams.

 

This scene had me genuinely laughing out loud! Tulak Hord...what a playa!

 

Tulak won’t leave me alone. Every minute I’m trying to rest, he’s in my mind, badgering me to let him touch me and to let him touch the baby.

 

LOL, Tulak reaaaaally wants to establish a bond early, and I'm not quite sure why he wants to touch Liaseph though, its not like ghosts can get *****...right? Right?!

[frauzet]

Poor Liaseph!

The diary entries are very well done! You managed to make me sad!

 

Looking forward to the next part!

[JennyFlynn]

Oh poor Marr, only just now getting the full extend of those journal entries... although I did Tersus did right deleting them. I'm inclined to think it wasn't his choice to make but on the same note, it feels like the right one...

 

The entries were quite interesting. Tulak you filthy aberration whatever you are nasty. I kinda liked how she went back to the club and considered Vowrawn, though that's also showing a sad extend of her loneliness. Ravage... as much as I love Lia and Marr together... part of me is inclined to believe she would have had a more attentive and affectionate relationship with Ravage even if she didn't love him as much.

 

Now... her jealousy and resentment towards Liatrix, as much as I 'get' it... kind of pissed me off and half made me wanna smack her princess pouty face. Like I said I get it, she's left behind a lot, gone through hell, lonely a lot in some ways even when Marr IS home and then he starts doting on their daughter like crazy but, still... it bugged me. I'm glad she ended on a more positive note though, loving her daughter and having come around.

 

So... no peace while Ravage lives? He should probably die for all the horrible stuff he's done but I also kind of hope he doesn't.

 

Anyways, wonderful chapter and a delight to read.

[MishaCantu]

 

It is a sad and sobering thing to come to the realization of the destruction he has wrought on those he should have loved and treasured most. We are all products of the choices we make and Marr had chosen to serve everything that was brutal and self-serving. Even the darkness served only itself. What is most damning is that Marr made the conscious choice, he was not duped nor coerced. He, and those around him, paid dearly.

 

The diary entries showed Liaseph's mental and emotional decline and were devastating in what they revealed. What an empty, lonely existence she endured. Ravage truly is a bastard but, it might have been better had Marr left her where she was. I begin to wonder now if his rescue of her was out of love or jealousy or right of ownership.

 

Tulak, you perverted old ghost. Feeding on Liaseph's loneliness and using it against her to your own ends, you horrible old thing.

 

Tersus was quite right in keeping the other entries from Marr. I am not even sure Marr could have felt any remorse at that time, but his anger would have been devastating had he discovered Ravage's complicity. Marr did show signs of caring for his daughter and to discover that Liaseph was pregnant again would have only fueled the fire.

 

 

Well crafted, as always.

Edited May 21, 2017 by MishaCantu

[Lunafox]

So now we know what Liaseph's life was really like. It is so terribly sad, and I am glad that Marr was able to see it all and to know what devastation he was responsible for. It is harder to sympathize with him knowing how unhappy and tragic he made her life.

 

I found the parts about Tulak Hord really interesting, and for a while you had me wondering if a force ghost could actually father a child:)

 

And then Ravage is back in her life again. I almost think she would have been better off if Marr had left her with him. I smiled when I read the part about Liaseph flaunting her pregnancy around his wife while wearing the necklace he had given her. She deserved that small satisfaction at least.

 

 

A very fascinating chapter....I am looking forward to the next one as always:)

 

I suppose it's a bit like that saying 'hell is paved with good intentions.' I think Marr always intended to give her what he thought would be a good life, but having lost touch with humanity, for the most part, I think he also lost the ability to know what would make someone happy, or how to make them happy. Liaseph, is the sort of person that is fairly easy to please, she wants a person to spend time with that matters to her. Having been brought up in wealth, she never wanted for anything materially, but a person's time was always the most elusive thing.

 

It's possible for a character to seem noble and upright in their life until they're seen through someone else's eyes.

 

Tulak is fun to write for me. I'm glad you had those questions because it was meant to make people wonder. But to answer it, no he didn't father Liatrix, but he was capable of influencing things...like making Liaseph's implants stop working, or as in the case with Marr's father, Hord was able to influence the Force to made the components of life come together in a situation where they normally wouldn't.

 

I agree, that Ravage probably would have been a better choice for her, but she didn't love him, the heart wants what it wants, and it doesn't always work out so well. I enjoyed the bit where she flaunted her pregnancy as well, it seemed a bit malicious but satisfying and it also showed that life on DK was rubbing off on her, she was starting to get the hang of being a bit of a bi.tch too. I'm glad you found it interesting, thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

 

Lol well you hit the nail on the head there. Thing is we only do that because that's what women want: things, lots and lots of things, sometimes they don't realize it. Of course there's the age-old trap wives put their husbands in:

 

Wife: "You work too hard, I never see you!"

 

Husband cuts hours and spends more time at home

 

Wife: "Why are you always home? We need more money! You never buy me anything nice!"

 

*Muffled screaming*

 

 

This scene had me genuinely laughing out loud! Tulak Hord...what a playa!

 

LOL, Tulak reaaaaally wants to establish a bond early, and I'm not quite sure why he wants to touch Liaseph though, its not like ghosts can get *****...right? Right?!

 

LOL, I can see that being the way with some women. I can relate, I like nice things lol. I think in Liaseph's case though, she'd had a lifetime of men giving her things to show affection or placate her...her father, her love interests, even her friends. Time was always the most valuable commodity and few were willing or able to give it. In this sense, I'm amazed that she didn't end up with Rylister, because he was the one that gave her the most time.

 

Tulak Hord the lascivious spectral manipulator. I suspect he was something to behold in life lol. I see him as having a lot of passion for life, one reason he wants to get back to living. There are things he wants to experience.

As for touching Liaseph, this is a means of feeding for him, taking energy from her and building himself up. He's a bit of a leech and is shameless enough to do whatever it takes to get energy/power. He doesn't experience relations like the living, but he does get a nice boost of spectral energy--each time giving him that much more power...like an energy vampire. As for wanting to get to the younglings, that's a means to an end too. He wants to live again--and possession is one way of doing that. Thanks for reading and letting me know your thoughts.

 

Poor Liaseph!

The diary entries are very well done! You managed to make me sad!

 

Looking forward to the next part!

 

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked them and that I succeeded in making them sad enough to affect the reader. Thanks for letting me know what you thought. ^^

 

Oh poor Marr, only just now getting the full extend of those journal entries... although I did Tersus did right deleting them. I'm inclined to think it wasn't his choice to make but on the same note, it feels like the right one...

 

The entries were quite interesting. Tulak you filthy aberration whatever you are nasty. I kinda liked how she went back to the club and considered Vowrawn, though that's also showing a sad extend of her loneliness. Ravage... as much as I love Lia and Marr together... part of me is inclined to believe she would have had a more attentive and affectionate relationship with Ravage even if she didn't love him as much.

 

Now... her jealousy and resentment towards Liatrix, as much as I 'get' it... kind of pissed me off and half made me wanna smack her princess pouty face. Like I said I get it, she's left behind a lot, gone through hell, lonely a lot in some ways even when Marr IS home and then he starts doting on their daughter like crazy but, still... it bugged me. I'm glad she ended on a more positive note though, loving her daughter and having come around.

 

So... no peace while Ravage lives? He should probably die for all the horrible stuff he's done but I also kind of hope he doesn't.

 

Anyways, wonderful chapter and a delight to read.

 

I think Tersus did the right thing in keeping the entries from Marr; in his thinking, nothing good would have come from Marr knowing that information. And in respecting Marr, he hoped to spare him as well, because reading those opens a whole world of pain and when the woman is dead, there is no point in it. He figured, to lose family was painful enough, why add to it. He kept a copy for himself because there were tidbits that might be of use against, say, Ravage. When the Minister of Intelligence is being forced out at the closure of Imperial Intelligence, he said that some secrets he had accumulated over the years served to protect him, they didn't want this stuff getting out. These might be a part of that

 

Filthy aberration, that's a really good term to describe Tulak Hord. I think it fits perfectly. And I do agree with you, that she might have been better off with Ravage because he was in a position that he could pay attention to her, Marr spent most of his time on the battlefield and when he wasn't on the battlefield he was figuring out ways to get back to it. He was all about the war and defending the Empire, little else.

 

With the jealousy over the baby, that was just how far she'd sunken at one point, the depression was a big part of it. She resented the child because she felt like it had replaced her in his affections. I don't think Marr even realized it--he provided for Liaseph, thought it would be enough, but in Liatrix, he had a pupil, someone he could teach, and though he doesn't have much emotion or humanity left, teaching is something that will always bring teacher and pupil together, it forms a bond.

 

I think after Liatrix saved her, she realized that she was treating Liatrix like Marr was treating her. Liatrix, like her mother, still craved and needed that love and attention, and that the child loved her, just because she was her mother.

 

I feel as you do about Ravage. Rotten as he could be, he had good qualities as well...just like Marr too. Thanks for reading and letting me know your thoughts.

 

 

It is a sad and sobering thing to come to the realization of the destruction he has wrought on those he should have loved and treasured most. We are all products of the choices we make and Marr had chosen to serve everything that was brutal and self-serving. Even the darkness served only itself. What is most damning is that Marr made the conscious choice, he was not duped nor coerced. He, and those around him paid dearly.

 

The diary entries showed Liaseph's mental and emotional decline and were devastating in what they revealed. What an empty, lonely existence she endured. Ravage truly is a bastard but, it might have been better had Marr left her where she was. I begin to wonder now if his rescue of her was out of love or jealousy or right of ownership.

 

Tulak, you perverted old ghost. Feeding on Liaseph's loneliness and using it against her to your own ends, you horrible old thing.

 

Tersus was quite right in keeping the other entries from Marr. I am not even sure Marr could have felt any remorse at that time, but his anger would have been devastating had he discovered Ravage's complicity. Marr did show signs of caring for his daughter and to discover that Liaseph was pregnant again would have only fueled the fire.

 

 

Well crafted, as always.

 

It truly is a sad realization, especially when there were only good intentions. Marr loved her before he lost so much of himself, and after that, he felt responsible for her--she was something to be cared for. He had taken her family away and left her with nothing, so providing for her was his way of loving, but of course, that's not enough, it's empty. He served the Empire first and foremost and in that service, he was selfish because it was exactly what he wanted to do. He was just like the darkness, it wanted what it wanted and so did he.

 

I think you're right about her being better off with Ravage, and at one point in the story, Marr acknowledges that her and Ravage are very much alike in some ways. I think Marr's rescue was probably a combination of all those things. She was his first, and she did matter to him and of course, he hated that Ravage had taken her away. Letting Ravage keep her was out of the question.

 

Tulak, yeah, lol. Perverted old energy vampire/ghost. That's exactly what he was doing, feeding off her life force to bolster his own diminishing power--and more flies can be caught with honey than vinegar, so he seduced her with his charm.

 

And you're exactly right about Tersus and Marr. I doubt very much Marr at that point in time would have had anything but anger and it would have been devastating. He probably would have ripped Ravage apart into little biddy pieces if he knew all that, but as for remorse over what Liaseph suffered, I don't think he was capable of it at that point anymore. Even now, his first instinct is vengeance, and he should know better, in having learned so much in the afterlife.

 

Thanks so much for reading and commenting, it means a lot. ^^

[Lunafox]

Hi, just a short service announcement,

 

Owing to my birthday yesterday and my anniversary today, the final installment of Marr will be posted on Sunday.

 

Sorry for any inconvenience.

[Foxfirerose]

Well Happy Birthday a day late, and Happy Anniversary!! Hope you have a wonderful weekend:)

[Myddelion]

Hi, just a short service announcement,

 

Owing to my birthday yesterday and my anniversary today, the final installment of Marr will be posted on Sunday.

 

Sorry for any inconvenience.

 

Happy birthday! I hope you had a good one. And congratulations on the anniversary

[De-mu-noki]

Happy birthday Luna!

[Lunafox]

Well Happy Birthday a day late, and Happy Anniversary!! Hope you have a wonderful weekend:)

 

Thank you so much! <3

[Lunafox]

Happy birthday! I hope you had a good one. And congratulations on the anniversary

 

Thanks Myddelion. Much appreciated! <3

[Lunafox]

Happy birthday Luna!

 

Thanks so much De-mu-noki. ^^

[Lunafox]

Star Wars: The Old Republic

Marr

 

~Chapter Fifty~

 

 

Letting go often requires more strength than holding on.

 

On the day of the funeral, wide shafts of sunlight cut through the clouds and not a single drop of rain fell. I wanted it to rain—a downpour the likes no one had ever seen—a deluge so powerful it would sweep even the Citadel away in its current. My fists tightened at my sides and my blood ran in destructive torrents through my veins despite the measured beats of the stone in my chest.

 

I stood apart from the handful of people gathered for the funeral. I recognized most of them as merchants and tradespeople Liaseph had dealt with during the construction of our home. The jittery decorator took a step toward me and then took the same step back, ambivalent as to whether approaching me was good for his longevity. I offered no encouragement and was grateful to be spared their half-hearted condolences.

 

Vowrawn, accompanied by a cadre of his men remained on the fringes of the burial site. With a simple nod, he spoke both greetings and respects.

 

The group dispersed after the conclusion of the burial rite. Only Vowrawn and I remained.

 

“A moment, old friend?”

 

I agreed with a nod. I didn’t look up or at him, I kept my gaze fixed on the site and watched as the cemeterians lowered each casket into their graves.

 

“I didn’t wish to leave without saying a word, though perhaps that might have been best. I truly am sorry for your loss—if there is anything at all I can do.”

 

“Your presence was unexpected.”

 

“I wasn’t certain I should come—if I’d be welcome.”

 

“She considered you her friend.”

 

“Liaseph was always a most generous soul—a rare light in our dreary world.”

 

Words betrayed me and I found it simpler to remain silent.

 

“Be well, old friend. Perhaps I’ll see you at the Citadel later in the week?”

 

“Perhaps.”

 

Vowrawn took his leave and I remained by the graveside until both were covered over and the markers placed.

 

A month almost to the day later, I was told that an elite team of ciphers had captured Liaseph’s Twi’lek servant, Una Vara, known also as Aruna Var, SIS agent, terrorist, and wife to SIS Agent Torin Zane.

 

I heard she had struggled against her captors and that she spat in Ravage’s face. For any other crime, that act alone would have earned her a pardon from me.

 

There was no trial, only the public execution broadcast over the holonet for every world to see. The Twi’lek remained in a state of mad defiance even as the flames consumed her body.

 

Keeper, rendered mute by Zane, was retired a disgrace, not only for his failure to elude the SIS but for permitting an incompetent minder the responsibility of processing employment visas.

 

The Minder vanished and it was unclear if he bolted out of fear, or if he was exfiltrated by the SIS. Neither would surprise me.

 

Tersus tapped at the door frame of my offices at the Citadel. “My lord,” he said with a curt bow, “You wished to see me?”

 

“Yes. Take a seat.” I indicated the chairs before my desk.

 

“Thank you, my lord.”

 

“It would seem Zane and Minder Xesh are still at large,” I began.

 

“Yes, unfortunately, but it is to my understanding, agents have been dispatched and the usual postings have been made at the Mandalorian Enclave. Aside from those loose ends, it would appear the case draws to a close.”

 

I nodded and drew a deep breath. “Indeed—but that is not the reason I’ve summoned you. No doubt you’re aware Keeper has been retired and Imperial Intelligence requires competent and efficient leadership—I’m prepared to offer you a promotion—to the position of Keeper of Imperial Intelligence, as we discussed several years ago—assuming, of course, that is still your goal.”

 

“My lord, yes. It has always been my honour to serve Imperial Intelligence in any capacity, but to serve as Keeper, that has been my penultimate goal.”

 

“You have an eye toward the Minister’s post?”

 

“Yes—in due course.”

 

“Very well. I’ll have my staff register the appropriate paperwork for the transfer. Congratulations—Keeper.”

 

“Thank you, my lord.”

 

“I trust you will continue to serve Intelligence and the Empire with distinction, as you always have.”

 

“You may count on it, my lord,” Keeper said with a bow.

 

“Dismissed.”

 

My office dissolved and I was returned to the Forcetide beach, an apparition once more. Purple lightning licked across the edges of the void which had more than doubled its size since I’d last seen it. A tempest roiled at its heart and I could sense the anger and despair growing exponentially with every passing moment. The darkness within me recognized something of itself within the void and hissed and oozed about me like a cloak.

 

Satele Shan meditated by the water’s edge, seemingly unconcerned by the gathering darkness and glanced up at my arrival.

 

“Darth Marr, you’ve returned. I trust you’ve settled your unfinished business?”

 

“No—no, I have not. Ravage still lives and as you have so relentlessly pointed out, I cannot change the past.”

 

“Then you’ve seen the light, so to speak, good. Only the present matters. In pursuing vengeance and hatred you’ve become mired in the past and have failed to move beyond it. You’ve forgotten your true goals, you’ve allowed the darkness to cloud your path.”

 

“And what would you know of my true goals?”

 

“The Force speaks through me. I know that you hoped to warn your daughter about the Emperor—what he truly is and what he hopes to achieve and the danger he poses to her.”

 

“What does her life matter to you—she murdered you in life.”

 

Satele nodded. “That is in the past and in this place, I have learned to move past it. Regardless of her actions, Liatrix has a destiny to fulfill within the Force and she is our best hope in defeating the great evil that plagues our peoples.”

 

“You are aware the Emperor is the one known as Izax the Ultimate Devourer? And that he seeks to use her as his next vessel?”

 

“Though our cultures differ greatly, some things remain constant. The end of all things, has many names, Izax among them—but the one thing we can agree upon is that it must be destroyed before any more worlds are lost.”

 

“Yes.” I considered my next words carefully. “You speak of moving beyond the past, to the present and yet you’ve refrained from explaining how this is done.”

 

“Only because you weren’t ready to give up on vengeance and hatred. You were preoccupied with holding on to that which you knew—that which was comfortable.”

 

“Enough of this. What would the Force have me do? If I am to warn my daughter—help her, I need to find her—and regrettably, I do not know where she is.”

 

“Nor do I. We will need to search and when we find her, we’ll need to guide those who may be able to help.”

 

“All of that is immaterial if I cannot leave this place.”

 

Satele stood and smoothed her robes. “You’ve noticed the void and how it has grown since you’ve come to be here. It has been feeding on your past—the darkness and hatred—the code you live by. I was plagued by something similar myself for a time.”

 

“How do I defeat it?”

 

“You must release the darkness and the ideals you’ve been clinging to since you were but a young man. You won’t need them. In this form, we serve the will of the Force. We may travel, instruct, speak to and commune with those we left behind, but no more. It takes a great deal of energy to exist among the living. You may find yourself depleted to almost nothing the first time…but with practice, you will regain your essence and with it, your strength. With each attempt, existing among the living in the present will become that much easier.”

 

“The darkness is who I am, it has defined me for a lifetime. All I am is because of it.”

 

“No, that’s not true—that’s an illusion. Everything that mattered, you’ve achieved on your own.”

 

“How do you know all this?”

 

“I’ve been here longer. I’ve had more time to adjust and relearn how the Force works. I’ve learned much. Count yourself as fortunate—not many Sith are permitted to learn how to walk and exist among the living after death and those that have, cannot do so for long. You have a destiny within the Force that transcends all you did in life.”

 

“I will always be Sith.”

 

“But that does not mean we can’t work together. You have always looked to death as your ally. Embrace it now. Let go of the darkness.”

 

“With progress, there is always some element of risk. I’ve understood that my whole life. The Emperor threatens everything. How do I begin?”

 

“It’s quite simple really—all you need do is pass through the void and leave the darkness behind. The void will seek to trap you—lure you to forget your purpose and tempt you to stay—but don’t linger, once you’ve become yourself again, the void will begin to deteriorate. If you are trapped within, you will remain there forever.”

 

“And what will you be doing? How do I know this isn’t a ruse?”

 

“You will need to believe and to trust. I will meditate on your transition and I will be here when you return.”

Master Shan’s certainty and calm left me uneasy in the presence of the void. Every impulse in me protested against entering the rupture across the Forcetide.

 

Jagged trees of purple lightning burned before me, the lightning bleaching my vision until I saw nothing but darkness and spots of acid green. Through the Force, I continued my journey toward the aperture. The spectral atoms comprising my body in this place sizzled and burned as the void closed around me.

 

Inside, time held no relevance and I was confronted with specters I’d known in life, memories long forgotten or repressed and the answers to questions I hadn’t dared to ask.

 

The void brightened and sharpened into a halcyon world of lake and forest and granitite outcroppings. In the distance stood a temple and I recognized the flags as those of the Jedi. Somehow I understood I was on Tython, long before the Revanite attacks savaged the landscapes and burned much of the forests.

 

As I approached the temple, a child sat alone on the steps leading up to the temple and at once I recognized Liatrix.

 

Dressed in the drab garb of the Jedi, she watched the other younglings with a vacant gaze and despite their attempts to engage her in their play, she remained unmoved.

 

Days passed uncounted and every day was the same. She remained as stubbornly fixed on the front steps as the garden planters adorning them. By this time, the other children had come to accept her lack of interest and ignored her as they played out their games and lessons.

 

At the top of the steps, a man I recognized as an older incarnation of Master Zho urged a young boy down the steps toward Liatrix. He was perhaps a couple of years older than Liatrix and through the Force, I came to understand that this boy was the one I’d met on Belsavis.

 

The boy descended the steps as if he were being urged toward a firing squad. Before making his presence known to Liatrix, he turned back to Master Zho in a last ditch effort to get out of the chore he’d been assigned. Zho flicked his hand in a gesture to continue.

 

The boy settled on the step next to Liatrix but said nothing to her. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled a tiny blue-feathered creature from his pocket, allowing it to perch on his palm. The boy whistled a tune and the Peko Pekos chick cheerfully warbled the tune back to him.

 

Liatrix glanced at the boy over her shoulder and frowned at his intrusion. The boy smirked and mirrored her expression. The tiny chick pulled it’s beak into its face and squinted meanly at Liatrix.

Her eyes widened, but still, she said nothing.

 

The boy whistled, again and again, each tune growing in complexity. The bird echoed the sounds until the boy stopped making them.

 

Liatrix appeared to be debating something and then whistled a short shrill tune. The chick fluffed and shivered its wings and warbled back at her.

 

She smiled and the boy scooched closer to her on the step. “Wanna hold ‘im?”

 

Liatrix nodded and he took her hand and urged the Peko Pekos chick onto her palm.

 

She watched the bird settle and giggled at the brush of its feathers against her skin.

 

“His name is Merl…and I’m Theron,” the boy added quietly after some hesitation.

 

At that moment, I realized the boy was Theron Shan, son of Satele Shan and for the briefest moment, I understood the Force was comprised of planned paths and that every encounter was purposeful and a lesson to be learned. Nothing within the Force was random—the Force had a plan.

 

Theron swallowed. “W-what’s yours?”

 

“Liatrix,” she whispered in such a low voice that Theron only caught the last of it.

 

“Trixie,” he smirked.

 

The chick chirped its attempt at her name and they laughed.

 

“I think Merl likes you.”

 

Several days passed and I caught glimpses of the two younglings at play and again after their lessons.

 

Unable to move the stone he was assigned to move, Theron growled in frustration. Liatrix took his hand in hers. “Close your eyes. Don’t look.”

 

They closed their eyes and the stone moved.

 

“You can look now,” Liatrix said.

 

Theron opened his eyes and they lit up with the giddy gleam that came with success, only to fade a moment later, when the realization came that it was she who had moved the stone, not him.

 

“You moved it.”

 

“So?”

 

“You don’t get it,” Theron grunted and stalked off leaving Liatrix alone and confused.

 

Her brows puckered and the stone crumbled to dust under her frustration.

 

Images sped by in a dizzying vortex before growing still once more.

 

Liatrix stood on the step where they’d met, her face red and wet with tears. “Don’t go.”

 

“I gotta. They won’t let me stay here anymore. I can’t feel the Force like you or the others,” Theron said in a low voice.

 

“I don’t want you to go,” Liatrix sniffled and stomped her foot.

 

“Master Zho said you can visit Merl whenever you want.”

 

“I don’t care,” Liatrix crossed her arms and pouted.

 

“Trixie…don’t. I have to go, okay?”

 

Her lower lip quivered and the tears came fast and thick. “It’s not okay.” She stomped her foot again. “It’s not!”

 

Theron shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Bye, Trixie.” Downcast he shuffled toward the waiting shuttle.

 

The craft rose high above the courtyard at the Jedi temple and sped off into the clouds.

 

The planter next to Liatrix exploded sending globs of soil in every direction.

 

The Jedi master in charge of the sparring droids raced toward her. “That’s not how we act here. Take a deep breath and then clean this up.”

 

“You clean it up! I hate it here! I hate you. I hate all of you,” she hissed.

 

“Hate leads to darkness,” the Jedi announced.

 

“I don’t care,” she hissed and stalked off.

 

The darkness within me roiled and responded to Liatrix’s anger and hatred within the void.

 

Satele Shan’s voice manifested in my mind. “Release the darkness. Let it go and continue forward…Hurry!”

 

I shut her voice out of my mind and commanded the Darkness I’d carried with me to become one with the void.

 

My saber hand clenched and I strode further into the abyss. I raised my arm to shield myself from the onslaught of violent energy pelting me as I moved forward.

 

A pinhole of light came into view and as I neared it, I realized it was the exit to the other side and that it was shrinking. The void shuddered and quaked, throwing me off balance as I sprinted toward the closing aperture. At the last moment, I hurled my body toward it and somersaulted onto the Forcetide beach. The void vanished behind me.

 

The waves lapped at my feet and the sky above me cleared to a storm-free blue.

 

Left exhausted and panting, I pushed myself to my feet. To my surprise, my feet no longer felt leaden and I moved with a weightless grace. With every moment that passed, my existence became effortless.

 

“It surprises you…how it feels to be one with the Force,” Satele Shan said calmly without opening her eyes.

 

“Yes…in life every step seemed a burden.”

 

“It surprised me too, how insidious the change can be. I lost touch with the Force and it wasn’t until it was too late, that I realized it. I have much to atone for.”

 

“As do I.” I paced the beach and gazed out at the undulating waves rolling toward the shore. “So what now?”

 

“Now…you must rest and when you have rested enough make your first foray into the present and see what has become of our worlds. Your strength will return as you become proficient in travel.” She unfurled from kneeling to stand and brushed the sand from her robes. “I must go, but I am only a thought away.”

 

“Where are you going, Master Shan?”

 

“To begin the preparations. A balanced gathering place will be needed when the time comes. I must find it. By the time I do, you should be strong enough to join me.”

 

“Until then.”

 

Time passes differently within the Forcetide, so I could not discern how long I had been at rest. All I knew was that my essence had returned to full strength and the time had come to venture forth into the present of the living.

 

With the speed of thought, I found myself on Dromund Kaas, more specifically, at the nearly completed Neo Citadel. The mood was more somber than usual and more troops patrolled both inside and out.

 

I strode into Vowrawn’s offices and stood before his desk. Dark circles shadowed his eyes and his usually flamboyant robes appeared slightly bedraggled. Datapads dominated his desk and the logistics minister looked as if he wanted to flee and never come back.

 

I folded my arms over my chest as I did in life and waited for him to stop scheming long enough to notice my presence.

 

He stood and toyed with his chin tendrils and then as if someone had stuck him with a nerf prod, he glanced up, eyes sharp and wide. His mouth fell agape and he gasped.

 

“So it’s true. We all felt your passing within the Force—but if I were, to be honest, I never quite believed it—not for a single moment. Is that really you, old friend?”

 

“Yes, Vowrawn.”

 

Vowrawn clapped his hands together. “Wonderful. That means it may be possible for me as well. Unless Nox finds a way for us to avoid death altogether. It strikes me as being rather messy—not to mention I’m still rather partial to certain fleshly pursuits,” he said without taking a breath. “So what brings you here?”

 

“I serve the will of the Force, now.”

 

“Leave it to you to suck all the joy out of the afterlife.” Vowrawn waved me off and sat again. “I hoped perhaps you had found a way to tip the war in our favour. So, what would the Force have me do?” He grinned broadly and tapped his fingertips together.

 

“Bring Ravage to the Council chambers. I wish to speak with him.”

 

“Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that conversation. It almost makes me wish I were as corporeally challenged as you.”

 

“Then consider your wish granted. Just be sure to invite the rest of the council to join you and remain out of sight for the duration.”

 

“Oh, I do have the inkling that this will be quite delicious. I’m practically giddy. Perhaps serving the will of the Force isn’t as tedious as it sounds. Nox will be delighted, I’m sure.”

 

“Of that, I have no doubt. Can you arrange this, preferably within the hour?”

 

“I can, but I’m curious—what do you need us for?”

 

“I think that will become abundantly clear when the time comes.”

 

“Consider it done, old friend.”

 

Three-quarters of an hour later, I stood at the center of the Dark Council chambers. Vowrawn and Ravage’s bickering voices grew louder until the chamber doors parted and they strolled inside.

 

“I don’t have time for your games, Vowrawn. What’s this nonsense about?”

 

“An old friend of ours would like a word.”

 

“Who?” Ravage spat.

 

“Him,” Vowrawn indicated with an upturned palm.

 

Ravage’s eyes narrowed into steely slits. “Marr…”

 

“And seeing as I have no desire to referee this match, I’ll be going now. Pity. I should’ve opened this to a wager.”

 

“A pointless exercise, Vowrawn. He can’t hurt me.”

 

Vowrawn’s laughter rang through the chamber and the doors shut behind him leaving an echo in their wake.

 

“I have more important things to do than argue with a Force Ghost.”

 

“More important things? Such as...betraying the Empire, the Dark Council? Conspiring to assassinate a fellow dark council member?”

 

“How dare you, Marr.”

 

“I know the truth, Ravage. You’re a traitor. You betrayed the Empire—you’ve been colluding with the Republic and the SIS.”

 

“Preposterous!”

 

“You arranged Torin Zane’s escape from the containment facility. You’ve been in league with Torin Zane and Aruna Var since their first assassination attempt on my life, if not before. You arranged for Aruna Var to return to Kaas City. They were talented operatives, but not that talented. They required an inside man, and you—you are that man.”

 

“You’re the one who allowed her into your own home. If anyone is guilty of giving away the Empire’s secrets, it would be you, Marr. What was she privy to, having free run of your stronghold? Not to mention my men were the ones who captured her.”

 

“Convenient. You betrayed her too. You imprisoned her and emptied her mind for a month before you turned her in. Clearly, you’re incapable of loyalty to anyone, Ravage.”

 

“Are you accusing me of attempting to assassinate you? That’s a bit of a moot point now, wouldn’t you say?” Ravage laughed coldly.

 

“No,” I strode toward Ravage and towered over him. “You never wanted me dead. You wanted me to suffer, to quote you in your own words.”

 

“How do you know this…”

 

“Because I was there. I saw everything—through the Force. You betrayed the Empire.”

 

“The Empire? I betrayed you. I had your wh.ore killed. Hmph, so why don’t you try and prove it? Who would believe the word of a Force Ghost over a Dark Councillor?”

 

“I would,” Vowrawn said, stepping into the open from the alcove behind his throne.

 

“So would I,” Nox said, revealing herself next.

 

“Marr has no reason to lie, but your stories have never quite added up, Ravage,” Mortis added as he stepped forward.

 

“He has every reason—vengeance for one!”

 

“Waiting over four years after his own death to avenge his family? I do admire a patient man. Well played, Marr.” Nox smirked and broke into a slow clap.

 

“In a time of war, if we cannot rely on one another, all is lost. Who would you collude with next, the Eternal Empire? You’ve committed treason, Ravage, and that will not be allowed to stand.”

 

“You’re all mad!” Ravage snarled.

 

Nox picked at her nails. “Why yes…yes we are. And you know what? I am going to enjoy this immensely.”

 

She lobbed a barrage of white-purple lightning at Ravage’s chest, enough to throw him on his rear. As he doubled-over and writhed, she stood over him and sneered. “I could do this all day.”

 

“I’d rather you didn’t. I have places to be.” Mortis ignited his lightsaber and drove it into Ravage’s gut.

 

“And now the final indignity.” Vowrawn knelt and patted Ravage’s cheek. “I need to water the sarlaac.”

 

“What?” Ravage mumbled as he spat up scads of blood.

 

Vowrawn stood and parted his robes and reached into his undershorts. He turned his back to the others and took aim at Ravage’s face.

 

An amber stream snaked off Ravage’s cheek to the floor and ran parallel to his body, wetting his robes.

 

Mortis slapped his forehead and grimaced. “At times I can’t believe you, Vowrawn. Was that really necessary?”

 

Vowrawn finished and tucked his member back into his robes. “Mortis—believe me when I tell you, it could always be worse.”

 

Ravage’s body gurgled and twitched before growing impossibly still.

 

“I’m leaving before you decide to def.ecate on the corpse. Have someone clean this up,” Mortis muttered and stalked out.

 

“Oh Mortis, always such a buzz kill.” Nox slapped her hands together in a gesture of completion. “You two always know how to show a girl a good time. Does this mean you’ll be staying with us, Marr?”

 

“No, but the well-being of the Empire will always be my priority.”

 

“A shame. You know, I could bind your ghost…having you in me…that could be fun,” she oozed.

 

Vowrawn chuckled nervously. “Nox, dear, would you give us a moment?”

 

“Oh, if I must. Good-bye, Marr. Feel free to invite me again. I do love a good party—and this was a very good party.”

 

After Nox took her leave, Vowrawn and I regarded one another for a long time. “So—was that a fitting ending, old friend?”

 

“Quite. My only regret is that I wasn’t able to do so myself.”

 

Vowrawn smirked. “You still manage to surprise me.”

 

I chuckled. “Hmph. Good-bye—old friend.”

 

Vowrawn cackled and stood over Ravage’s corpse as I dissolved, and I carried the idea of what he’d do next with me into the Forcetide with a smile.

 

The End (for now, roll credits…) :)

 

 

A/N:

Bit sad now that it’s over. I hope you all enjoyed the story and the journey so far. Hard to believe it’s been another year. Going to take a short break for now and who knows where that will lead…It may lead to ‘The Sanctuary of Regret’ if there is interest. Thanks for all the encouragement and lovely comments, I appreciate each and every one of you and thank you for reading.

 

Edited June 10, 2017 by Lunafox

[Timtheheloguy]

Luna,

 

The phrase "All good things must come to an end" is truly applicable here. This telling of Marr's story is truly a masterpiece, and should (in my humble opinion) be included in the list of the great Star Wars tales from writers such as Timothy Zhan, James Luceno, George Lucas, etc.

 

 

Having Marr carry out this final act of revenge prior to fully submitting to the will of the Force is what I've been waiting to see ever since Ravage entered into the storyline so many chapters ago. I absolutely love knowing he did this prior to joining Satele on Odessen.

 

 

As always, well done. I'm looking forward to seeing who's story you tell next!

Edited May 29, 2017 by Timtheheloguy

[MayhemofChaonus]

A well-crafted story as always Luna! Sorry i'm late on this but happy belated birthday! Here's to hoping you have many more in between which you write more awesome, inspiring works! I do have some comments on this part though...

 

“A shame. You know, I could bind your ghost…having you in me…that could be fun,” she oozed.

 

HAHAHAHAHA ROFL! I do love that side of Nox, I'm not into masochism myself, but the dark sexual humor people give her always cracks me up! Also, I think you have once again planted the seeds of inspiration in my mind...hope you don't mind if I water it and see what grows.

 

Also, really Luna? Really? Did you really have to go there? I know Ravage was dastardly and evil and so on...but Vowrawn pissing on him? Seriously?

 

I'm sure some other people enjoyed it thoroughly but...ugh, thats just too gross for me, joke or not.

 

Now, I'm not one to tell another author what to write, but I do have a sort of issue with your continuity here, or maybe I just don't understand your alternate universe, either way I hope you can clear things up for me:

 

So did your Jedi Knight character (or was she the Sith Warrior character?) kill Satele at sometime after the events of SOR or something? Can you explain how Satele is dead before Marr? And how she then appears, in the flesh, to help the player in KOTFE?

 

Also, how is Marr able to commit his act of vengeance after having given up his old ways in the Forcetide/Void? Shouldn't that now mean the void will try to consume him again since he did something that was rather Darkside instead of balanced? Or does the Force work slightly differently in your universe to the way I believe it works in the official universe?

 

Thanks in advance for answering my questions, and I hope you keep writing in the future. Take a break though, you earned it!

Edited May 29, 2017 by MayhemofChaonus

[Lunafox]

Luna,

 

The phrase "All good things must come to an end" is truly applicable here. This telling of Marr's story is truly a masterpiece, and should (in my humble opinion) be included in the list of the great Star Wars tales from writers such as Timothy Zhan, James Luceno, George Lucas, etc.

 

 

Having Marr carry out this final act of revenge prior to fully submitting to the will of the Force is what I've been waiting to see ever since Ravage entered into the storyline so many chapters ago. I absolutely love knowing he did this prior to joining Satele on Odessen.

 

 

As always, well done. I'm looking forward to seeing who's story you tell next!

 

Hey Tim

 

Thanks so much for the wonderful praise, truly high praise to be included among so many talented people. Thank you for that! I'm thrilled that this little act of revenge spoke to you and like you I wanted to see Marr get his satisfaction, even if he wasn't physically able to do so himself. So glad you enjoyed, thanks again for reading and for the comment. It means a lot.

[Lunafox]

A well-crafted story as always Luna! Sorry i'm late on this but happy belated birthday! Here's to hoping you have many more in between which you write more awesome, inspiring works! I do have some comments on this part though...

 

 

 

HAHAHAHAHA ROFL! I do love that side of Nox, I'm not into masochism myself, but the dark sexual humor people give her always cracks me up! Also, I think you have once again planted the seeds of inspiration in my mind...hope you don't mind if I water it and see what grows.

 

Also, really Luna? Really? Did you really have to go there? I know Ravage was dastardly and evil and so on...but Vowrawn pissing on him? Seriously?

 

I'm sure some other people enjoyed it thoroughly but...ugh, thats just too gross for me, joke or not.

 

Now, I'm not one to tell another author what to write, but I do have a sort of issue with your continuity here, or maybe I just don't understand your alternate universe, either way I hope you can clear things up for me:

 

So did your Jedi Knight character (or was she the Sith Warrior character?) kill Satele at sometime after the events of SOR or something? Can you explain how Satele is dead before Marr? And how she then appears, in the flesh, to help the player in KOTFE?

 

Also, how is Marr able to commit his act of vengeance after having given up his old ways in the Forcetide/Void? Shouldn't that now mean the void will try to consume him again since he did something that was rather Darkside instead of balanced? Or does the Force work slightly differently in your universe to the way I believe it works in the official universe?

 

Thanks in advance for answering my questions, and I hope you keep writing in the future. Take a break though, you earned it!

 

 

Thanks for the birthday wishes, and for the wonderful comments. I really appreciate them.

 

Nox, yeah, she's a real piece of work, I love her to bits and writing for her is a joy. I'm glad to have inspired you.

And yes, I did go there, I figured if nothing else, it would be a bit unexpected and after a lifetime of these people probably thinking 'p*ss on Ravage' cause he was always such a jerk to them, that it seemed fitting.

 

It was my Jedi Knight character Liatrix, in The Foundation of All Desire that killed Satele out of vengeance, because Satele and Saresh were in on the truth, that they were going to try and use Liatrix as a tool to murder her own father (Marr). So, in that sense, I deviated from the game story, I basically did what I wanted to do with it. As for how I will deal with Satele in any future stories (Kotfe and beyond), I will be following my own universe and she will remain dead and appear as a Force Ghost if she's needed. I think it would work out well enough if she and Marr are both Force Ghosts on Odessen. My Sith Warrior has a different path in my universe.

 

All Marr really did was expose the truth about Ravage's crimes, so there isn't really anything dark about bringing the truth to light. Did he know how the other councilors would react? He might have had an inkling...Ravage has been such a jerk over the years, that at this point they were probably just looking for a reason and being a traitor is a good reason to end him...so it was dark in a sense, but not on his part too much. The 'darkness' as I wrote it for Marr, was an extra ability that he learned/inherited from Tulak Hord, who I also made into a bit of a supernatural being, like a demon, so in my universe, Marr was always part demon for most of his life, the darkness was a part of him, until he gave it up, sending it into the void and what remained was the person he was before accepting the ability from Hord. The void closed to him, and now he can move on and begin to operate as the will of the Force. I hope that clears things up a bit for you. And again, thanks for reading and for the thoughtful comments.

[MishaCantu]

And so it ends. Marr has found peace, while still being able to serve, much deserved if I may say so. That Satele Shan was the one to show him the way is a strange collaboration although, in retrospect, she is probably the only one who could have.

 

I loved the bit about Theron and Liatrix as children on Tython and it seems that her loss of him, even then, had already set her feet on the path she later chose. The Peko Pekos bird provided a lovely introduction for the two children.

 

And Ravage. Who doesn't love and hate him all in the same breath? It is fitting, indeed, for Marr to take care of that last bit of business before moving on and Ravage did have it coming and then some.

 

Nox was a delight, as always, I always enjoy her best when she is at her worst. And Vowrawn, he still tickles me so and his final display of total disdain for Ravage was so apropos, and better yet, Ravage was still alive.*claps* "Leave it to you to suck all the joy out of the afterlife." My favorite quote, priceless. Marr always was Vowrawn's best straight man, pure comedy.

 

It is a fitting end to your very enjoyable and wonderful foray into the life and legend of our beloved Marr. Thank you for this lovely tale and providing all the pieces to make the puzzle of his existence come together.

 

Claps, cheers, drumroll and fireworks. Well done, you may take your bows now.

[Myddelion]

Well, that was certainly a fitting ending. I loved how Marr kept hold of his 'normal' darkness as he stepped through the void - in part because it suits him and in part because it feels like an 'up yours' to Satele and that's always appreciated.

 

The whole sequence on Tython was unbearably cute and, of course, a little heartbreaking towards the end. Heavy boulders have so much to answer for. I got a little confused and thought Satele might already be dead already, since having Theron in proximity on Tython might be a bad idea, but then I realised Trix can't really kill her when she's that young (I think).

 

And Vowrawn...Stay classy, Vowrawn

 

As I've said before, I will get round to reading the Foundation of All Desire but (if this doesn't sound weird) it's the personality of the companions that I don't want spoiled too much (especially Vector), so I will complete the class story first. I guess I have motivation to do it extra-fast

[Lunafox]

And so it ends. Marr has found peace, while still being able to serve, much deserved if I may say so. That Satele Shan was the one to show him the way is a strange collaboration although, in retrospect, she is probably the only one who could have.

 

I loved the bit about Theron and Liatrix as children on Tython and it seems that her loss of him, even then, had already set her feet on the path she later chose. The Peko Pekos bird provided a lovely introduction for the two children.

 

And Ravage. Who doesn't love and hate him all in the same breath? It is fitting, indeed, for Marr to take care of that last bit of business before moving on and Ravage did have it coming and then some.

 

Nox was a delight, as always, I always enjoy her best when she is at her worst. And Vowrawn, he still tickles me so and his final display of total disdain for Ravage was so apropos, and better yet, Ravage was still alive.*claps* "Leave it to you to suck all the joy out of the afterlife." My favorite quote, priceless. Marr always was Vowrawn's best straight man, pure comedy.

 

It is a fitting end to your very enjoyable and wonderful foray into the life and legend of our beloved Marr. Thank you for this lovely tale and providing all the pieces to make the puzzle of his existence come together.

 

Claps, cheers, drumroll and fireworks. Well done, you may take your bows now.

 

Thanks so much Misha, for reading and for always giving me such thoughtful comments. I have to say it feels like a weight off my shoulders a bit. Feels good to get it done.

 

Like you say Satele is a bit of an odd choice to guide him, but no one is more suited, as she was experiencing something similar through the Force and it sets them up for being on Odessen in any future stories.

 

I'm really happy that you liked the part about little Liatrix and Theron, and I think you're right, that was probably one of the first instances where the seeds of the future were planted. Her first heartbreak, having to watch her only friend being made to leave the temple. That grain of resentment would always be there, even if she didn't show it.

 

In a way, I hated doing what I did to Ravage, I love Ravage, but he had it coming and Marr deserved to get satisfaction. I'm glad you didn't think it was over the top lol.

 

Nox and Vowrawn at times practically write themselves, this was one of those times. I love their irreverence and I'm glad you love it too. <3 Nox is always fun to do

 

I'm really happy that you enjoyed the story and felt that it came to a fitting close. Again thanks so much for sharing the journey with me. It means a lot.