gbrumback Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Greetings gentle being of the galaxy. Do you find yourself constantly running mundane errands for the Jedi Council. Or maybe that latest bounty has you hopping from one system to another. Perhaps you just cannot tear yourself away from torturing that Jedi who annoyed you one time to many. We at Geollem Industries understand all too well how busy most beings are. Taking time to pour through countless listings on the Galactic Trade Network to find the best deal on that must have item is a luxury that far too many beings just don't have. So we at Geollelm Industries are pleased to announce our newest venture to save you both time and your hard earned credits. Introducing... Geollelm's GTN Brokerage Firm, LLC I know many of you are now asking, "Wow, how can I take advantage of such a valuable service that will save me time and credits?" Well, my friends, the answer is simple. We at GI pride ourselves in making your live and business dealings easy. First select one of our plans below that best suits you needs. Bronzium - For a mere 10% of the purchase price we will find you the absolute lowest price for the item you desire on the GTN Xonolite - For a reasonable 20% of the purchase price, we will not only find you the best deal, but provide you will a holo image for your records to confirm you got a rock bottom price. Doonium - Offers all of our other services with a 7 calendar day price guarantee. If you find it for less that we did in that time we will refund 5% of your purchase price to you, all for the bargain price of 30% of your item's sale price. But, really, who can put a price on the peace of mind you'll have knowing you get the best deal in the galaxy. Once you have selected your plan, contact us with the item you need us to find for you, and the maximum amount of credits you can afford to spend on said item. After that, sit back and relax while we handle all the hard work for you. You'll be the envy of all your friends, and enemies, when they find out you got that must have item of the century for a bargain basement price. For more information feel free to stop by one of our convenient offices on Nar Shaddaa, Coruscant, or Drommund Kaas. And remember, If you go with Geollelm, you can't go wrong. *Fully bonded and insured. *Licensed by both the Republic Senate and Dark Council. Licenses available for review in respective offices. *Services not available on Voss, Makeb, or Oricon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VandalRoach Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If you build it, they will come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papazmurf Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Oh this is great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbrumback Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 (edited) Also Geollelm Industries does offer Licensed Franchise opportunities to beings with an entrepreneurial spirit. The the very reasonable license fee of 50 million credits, plus a very modest 2% royalty over three years, you too can help our fellow beings who do not have the time to deal with the nuances of the market save their time and money. We are also happy, and sad, to announce a recent job opening at our Drommund Kaas offices for a proofreader. Apparently our last one had a very unfortunate accident involving a lightsaber. The job offers many perks: room, board, a very attractive and stylish shock collar. For more information on franchise and job opportunities, please inquire at one of our corporate offices. Edited March 5, 2015 by gbrumback added to post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zipacnaa Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 (edited) Dear Geollelm's GTN Brokerage Firm, LLC I represent the owners of Global Troll Network (GTN). In response to your newly formed service we already observe a sudden decrease in the number of customers being trolled and scammed. This is naturally affecting our commissions. In particular our fabulous offering, whereby customers are able to list items using decimals, seems to have shrunk considerably in usage. If this pattern should continue, we will naturally see no other options than to request that you cease & desist. Should you choose to ignore our warnings there will be unmeasurable repercussions invoked. Sincerely yours, Global Troll Network Operated by EAWare Edited March 5, 2015 by Zipacnaa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyosji Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 *facepalm* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taramayne Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 The current GTN "issue" is not a true scam. THIS, assuming it were real, which I doubt...WOULD most definitely be a scam. The sad part is that there are probably folks out there who would believe this. Nice try, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbrumback Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 The current GTN "issue" is not a true scam. THIS, assuming it were real, which I doubt...WOULD most definitely be a scam. The sad part is that there are probably folks out there who would believe this. Nice try, though. We at GI are deeply hurt by the inference that our services are not a legitimate business enterprise. We strongly adhere to very strict moral and ethical standards. We guarantee that our pricing is fair, upfront and honest. None of our clients pay 1 credit more than we advertise our services for. With that being said, if you continue to engage in libelous attacks against our company we will have no choice but to have our attorneys contact you in regards to financial reparation for the damage to our companies name and image. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djiini Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I built a company designed to stop people from being idiots, once. It didn't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taramayne Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 We at GI are deeply hurt by the inference that our services are not a legitimate business enterprise. We strongly adhere to very strict moral and ethical standards. We guarantee that our pricing is fair, upfront and honest. None of our clients pay 1 credit more than we advertise our services for. With that being said, if you continue to engage in libelous attacks against our company we will have no choice but to have our attorneys contact you in regards to financial reparation for the damage to our companies name and image. Not a problem. Please have your attorney present your case in person to the public affairs office at Nemro's Palace on Hutta. It would also be nice if he/she would be sure to eat well before arrival, as the critters like fatter morsels. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyosji Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I built a company designed to stop people from being idiots, once. It didn't work. Sounded like a bad business plan to begin with. You can't work miracles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curulz Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Dear Geollelm's GTN Brokerage Firm, LLC I represent the owners of Global Troll Network (GTN). In response to your newly formed service we already observe a sudden decrease in the number of customers being trolled and scammed. This is naturally affecting our commissions. In particular our fabulous offering, whereby customers are able to list items using decimals, seems to have shrunk considerably in usage. If this pattern should continue, we will naturally see no other options than to request that you cease & desist. Should you choose to ignore our warnings there will be unmeasurable repercussions invoked. Sincerely yours, Global Troll Network Operated by EAWare I am a partner in the Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe law firm and will be glad to take this case pro bono Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arlon_Nabarlly Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 (edited) I didn't realize Vork played this game. Edited March 5, 2015 by Arlon_Nabarlly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DOHboy Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 8/10 would read again, primarily due to the subject content. Might I also suggest a "sales plan" that will indemnify (protect you, for people in Rio Linda) from people claiming to be "scammed" by items you are selling. You can ensure that an items I sell will not be reported as fake, will be a reasonable price, and will not be confused with those that do not use your business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reno_Tarshil Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I chuckled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vandicus Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 It's actually too bad that the market doesn't operate like a brokered market. Or at the very least be able to break up orders and have purchase orders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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