The Foundation of All Desire

[squirtai]

The Sith want the Jedi wiped out, what is she going to do when she's told to either watch or slaughter the younglings herself?

 

That's a real great example, cause the Jedi also want the Sith wiped out, the species and the order. Sadly, I have to admit this is something the Jedi managed to do better, since they actually succeeded in canon.

Edited November 15, 2015 by squirtai

[Lunafox]

The Empire does evil things as a matter of course, genocide against non humans on Nar Shada, death to all force sensitives who won't or can't be trained as Sith. The experiment on Belsavis was the scheme of one Senator and was shut down by the Senate as soon as word of it was reported. Note also the Empire wants to recreate the experiments for their own use (Belsavis Bonus Quest Line) in fact one of the Imperial's says something to the effect "I can't believe we didn't come up with the idea on our own.

 

In the Agent's first chapter when you confront Jadus your instructed to allow him to fire the weapon satellites and kill thousands or more Imperial Citizens just to convince him your on his side and buy time to capture him. The Empire only saves the one planet from destruction so it can mine Isotope 5 using the population as a smoke screen to keep the Hutts in the dark about their real objective.

 

It's plain that you like the Empire and the Sith, okay, but your trying to morph them into something they are not in the game is starting to get just silly. Your MC has already killed all three of the Republic's head NPCs, what's left for her to do aside lead her suddenly not so Dark Sided Empire to final victory over the Republic and have Theron decide he'd be happier as her piece on the side for when she gets bored or angry at her hubby? The Sith want the Jedi wiped out, what is she going to do when she's told to either watch or slaughter the younglings herself?

 

I'm not going to dispute what you said the Sith do against aliens or weak force sensitives in game. They are the bad guys according to the canon of this universe. That's fine, George Lucas created a black and white world, where good is good and bad is bad. The prequels introduced shades of grey, and showed that the Jedi aren't lily white. I found this interesting. I personally find the greys and the darks more interesting than the light. But as you say the Republic had one bad guy who did terrible things, maybe the Empire has some good people. I never considered my agent to be evil for example.

 

Jadus was just plain crazy. He didn't care who he hurt as long as he was hurting, including his daughter. I found him fascinating, but yeah, he's insane. Won't deny that either.

 

And it's true that they saved Makeb for what they could get out of it. Won't deny that.

 

Do I like the Empire/Sith/Imperials better? Most of the time, yes I do. Won't deny that either. I've never denied the fact I'm primarily an Imperial player.

 

And now we finally get to the nitty gritty of the story. Yep, the lead character, a former Jedi, born Sith, did away with some pretty important people. She didn't kill all of them, Jace is still alive. Theron will have decisions to make about his life and I highly doubt it involves being anyone's side piece.

 

I have plenty of inspiration and ideas for the characters in this story, and others in the game, so if I wanted to, I could find plenty to do. The question now is...do I want to? Could just be that it's nearing 3 am here and I'm tired...I'm two installments away from ending a story I've worked on for 15-20+ hours per week, every week for over a year (my time well wasted, I had fun)...I might be ready to have a little rest. *shrug* So hearing it being called silly at this point does kind of hurt, but if that's what you take away from it, then that's what you take away from it. You're allowed. You don't like the story. I hear you, loud and clear.

 

Will being told it's silly affect what I'm going to do with it? Nope, it's still going to end as it was always planned to end. Is that going to affect anything I do with it in the future? Nope.

 

I suppose, take solace in the fact that it was free entertainment, that cost nothing except your time, and you were free to stop at any time. I'm still a bit mystified at the amount of time I sank into it myself tbh.

 

Anyways, thank you for the feedback, it gives me food for thought.

Edited November 15, 2015 by Lunafox

[Lunafox]

That's a real great example, cause the Jedi also want the Sith wiped out, the species and the order. Sadly, I have to admit this is something the Jedi managed to do better, since they actually succeeded in canon.

 

I remember reading somewhere that the Jedi were actually the ones that started the whole mess long ago, by wanting to eradicate the early Sith completely...unfortunately I can't remember where that was, I wouldn't mind re-reading all that.

[squirtai]

I remember reading somewhere that the Jedi were actually the ones that started the whole mess long ago, by wanting to eradicate the early Sith completely...unfortunately I can't remember where that was, I wouldn't mind re-reading all that.

 

Could have been from me Canon wise it's from some of the comic books set in the pre-swtor timeline, you can read about it on wookiepedia if you like... but it's all pretty dry and boring tbh. I don't know if they 'started the whole mess', since I think that actually happened after the first sith war. Basically republic won, and Jedi/pubs went off to do 'clean up'. It certainly didn't help though, cause you've got a bunch of angry people who just lost a war and now you've given them a very, very personal reason to hate you.

 

Personally I think this is one of those quirks due to how canon grew. The Jedi wanting to finish off the sith race, having deemed the entire race evil and dark, happened before swtor happened. Wiping out the sith race is harsh, but more or less made sense if you genuinely believed they were inherently evil by your moral compass. But then came swtor, and you get Lord Praven as a canon character....

[XiamaraSimi]

The Republic has, and continues to let Saresh do -all kinds- of bad things as well, dont forget it was her actions that gave the Emperor the "food" he needed in Ziost... Even my lightside republic characters would happily shove her out an airlock.

 

In Kotfe you hear she is still up to her Warmonger Agenda, conveniently removing anyone who -tried- to stop her. But hey, Sith are bad, leave Saresh alone right?

Edited November 15, 2015 by XiamaraSimi

[Lunafox]

Could have been from me Canon wise it's from some of the comic books set in the pre-swtor timeline, you can read about it on wookiepedia if you like... but it's all pretty dry and boring tbh. I don't know if they 'started the whole mess', since I think that actually happened after the first sith war. Basically republic won, and Jedi/pubs went off to do 'clean up'. It certainly didn't help though, cause you've got a bunch of angry people who just lost a war and now you've given them a very, very personal reason to hate you.

 

Personally I think this is one of those quirks due to how canon grew. The Jedi wanting to finish off the sith race, having deemed the entire race evil and dark, happened before swtor happened. Wiping out the sith race is harsh, but more or less made sense if you genuinely believed they were inherently evil by your moral compass. But then came swtor, and you get Lord Praven as a canon character....

 

Could've been. I know we have had some good discussions about the universe. I think I also came across this on Wookiepedia too, I spend time there researching different things, cause I haven't read the comics, so I have to research for intricacies. I'll have to see if I can find the passage I was thinking of.

 

Yeah, wiping out the entirety of anything is harsh, because I don't believe you can paint an entire culture with the same brush, but I get the logic of their thinking. Lord Praven was always very interesting to me, that he could make such a giant change in his ideologies...but then unlike many we've seen in the Sith Empire, he displays more honour than most, something I believe he, and I, attribute to the 'old' Sith. They had honour as a warrior race, much like the Star Trek Klingons. Some of the Sith like, Praven, like Marr, still have honour, it's one of the good qualities to balance out the darkness. I think this balance is a part of what makes Marr so interesting, and why I like him.

 

So...if Lord Praven can make the leap...I think Liatrix should be able to make the leap back to her own people and for now she's embracing it. She might learn to embrace it further as time goes on. But I don't see her stomping puppies and kittens and younglings straight away, just because she changed ideologies. She hasn't been at it that long...and those that are helping her acclimate are smart enough to know that to integrate her properly is a time consuming process. Even still there's no guarantee she'd stomp out younglings...she'd probably try to convert them first, which would be interesting cause she resents that having been done to her.

[Lunafox]

The Republic has, and continues to let Saresh do -all kinds- of bad things as well, dont forget it was her actions that gave the Emperor the "food" he needed in Ziost... Even my lightside republic characters would happily shove her out an airlock.

 

In Kotfe you hear she is still up to her Warmonger Agenda, conveniently removing anyone who -tried- to stop her. But hey, Sith are bad, leave Saresh alone right?

 

She's an excellent example of self-righteous war mongering. I've despised that woman since Taris. Keeping the troops there pretty much against their will over their tour, and badgering people into doing things for her and taking all the credit from her office about how everyone is doing things 'together'. She's vile.

 

And I have to say, I was pretty ticked off to hear that no one had taken her down over the years between SoR and KotFE. I figured she was ripe for assassination. By someone. Anyone. But in typical politician fashion she survives, and continues to exert control through lackeys, who continue being her mouthpiece.

[Billupsat]

I've been silently reading for a while now and I want to note that while I haven't read the whole thing I have started reading from the beginning. I've thoroughly enjoyed the experience for the most part, as a creative writing major its always great to read good material. I honestly wanted to wait until you were finished before writing this, but I might not have the time to sit down and write out everything I want to when you are finished. So parts of what I'm about to write may be irrelevant in two weeks, but bear with me.

 

Note: A lot of this will probably be very nitpicky, take from it what you like if anything and ignore whatever offends your sensibilities.

 

Let me start by saying how much I've enjoyed your characters, while the plot is fantastic the smaller moments you give to Liatrix and the others are really what sold me and keep me checking back every week. It makes them much more real and less cardboard cutouts, or video game animatrons which I've encountered frequently in writing today. Your work with characters is really a breath of fresh air.

 

However, there are times where Liatrix comes off like a Teflon character. I'm sure you don't need to be informed about what that is, but for those that do a Teflon Character is a character that no matter what you throw at them, nothing sticks and they move along relatively unscathed. Obviously. Liatrix is not a one of those, but at times I've found myself frustrated at how relatively little consequences she actually faces for her actions. That may be changing here with the last couple of chapters and to be clear yes she has faced severe consequences so allow me to elaborate.

 

The way it comes off to me at times is a lot like a checks and balances system. Yes she pays for her actions, but then it seems like something happens or comes along that evens out what just happened and makes her pay less, or from my perspective pay very little. A good example would be when she killed the chancellor to save her father, she lost Theron and her friends and became an enemy of the republic, but shortly thereafter she's reunited with her father, given a high position within the sith empire, has a child conceived with Theron (and Scourge), and moves on with Scourge. Now, it may just be that she recovers fast or is great at compartmentalizing all of her feelings, but it comes off to me that she does horrible acts, is put in peril for a brief period and then its over and she's just back to being the same Liatrix she's always been. My advice here would be to have her legitimately pay for something with no way to make up for the loss or counterbalance it, give her some self-reflection and growth from this and move ahead changed because right now to me it comes off like she's caught it a character loop and that can be frustrating for readers, or at least is for me. Part of this may be because I haven't read the whole novel yet, I started around the time she became known as the butcher of korriban and have only recently started from the beginning with the Balkar/Scourge triangle and am at the trial.

 

Speaking of triangles I want to commend you on what you've done with this one so far, (Though I might not like how it turns out ) its certainly kept your readers on the edge of their seats for months. It reminded me a lot of when I used to get home from school as a kid and watch soaps with my mother. You've also done what good authors do with triangles and given time and development to both couplings and assumably developed followings for both, which is no easy feat. However, I am curious as to where you're going to have them all end up, not that I expect you to tell me. This is probably just me be nitpicky again so take this with a grain of salt, but in my experience triangles can become quickly unrootable without an endgame couple. This is often established early on at least for the author with character archetypes. Romantic Lead, Hero/Heroine, Romantic Foil. Early on its pretty easy to tell what characters go where. Liatrix - Flawed Heroine/Romantic lead. Balkar - Foil. Scourge - Flawed Hero. I'm assuming at this point that whatever Liaisons Lia had with Balkar put her true love with Scourge on ice for awhile.

 

But then, there's a rather noticeable shift when Theron enters. Balkar is phased out quickly, (I'm assuming correct me if I'm wrong) and Scourge is giving Liatrix the cold shoulder which shakes the archetypes and the formula up and I'm not quite sure where the pieces fell. It reminds me a lot of the Taylor/Ridge/Brooke triangle 1990-2002 edition. Where you have the endgame couple Liatrix/Scourge suddenly displaced by newcomer Theron. Of course how this plays out all falls down to what kind of character archetype Liatrix fits. Right up until she murdered Chancellor Saresh I'd have planted her firmly in the flawed heroine category but since then I've felt she's become less of a heroine and more of a sympathetic villainess. I would tell you my advice here was to settle on an endgame if you haven't already and plan on continuing but... I'm concerned you'd pick Scourge and I'm firmly in the Liatrix/Theron camp .

 

I want to say again how much I've enjoyed this, just in case you forgot due to all the attempts at constructive criticism above. My instructors all tell me I'm too blunt in class, so I'm hoping it comes off a little better online. Here I actually think before posting. (Most Times)

[Lunafox]

I've been silently reading for a while now and I want to note that while I haven't read the whole thing I have started reading from the beginning. I've thoroughly enjoyed the experience for the most part, as a creative writing major its always great to read good material. I honestly wanted to wait until you were finished before writing this, but I might not have the time to sit down and write out everything I want to when you are finished. So parts of what I'm about to write may be irrelevant in two weeks, but bear with me.

 

Note: A lot of this will probably be very nitpicky, take from it what you like if anything and ignore whatever offends your sensibilities.

 

Let me start by saying how much I've enjoyed your characters, while the plot is fantastic the smaller moments you give to Liatrix and the others are really what sold me and keep me checking back every week. It makes them much more real and less cardboard cutouts, or video game animatrons which I've encountered frequently in writing today. Your work with characters is really a breath of fresh air.

 

However, there are times where Liatrix comes off like a Teflon character. I'm sure you don't need to be informed about what that is, but for those that do a Teflon Character is a character that no matter what you throw at them, nothing sticks and they move along relatively unscathed. Obviously. Liatrix is not a one of those, but at times I've found myself frustrated at how relatively little consequences she actually faces for her actions. That may be changing here with the last couple of chapters and to be clear yes she has faced severe consequences so allow me to elaborate.

 

The way it comes off to me at times is a lot like a checks and balances system. Yes she pays for her actions, but then it seems like something happens or comes along that evens out what just happened and makes her pay less, or from my perspective pay very little. A good example would be when she killed the chancellor to save her father, she lost Theron and her friends and became an enemy of the republic, but shortly thereafter she's reunited with her father, given a high position within the sith empire, has a child conceived with Theron (and Scourge), and moves on with Scourge. Now, it may just be that she recovers fast or is great at compartmentalizing all of her feelings, but it comes off to me that she does horrible acts, is put in peril for a brief period and then its over and she's just back to being the same Liatrix she's always been. My advice here would be to have her legitimately pay for something with no way to make up for the loss or counterbalance it, give her some self-reflection and growth from this and move ahead changed because right now to me it comes off like she's caught it a character loop and that can be frustrating for readers, or at least is for me. Part of this may be because I haven't read the whole novel yet, I started around the time she became known as the butcher of korriban and have only recently started from the beginning with the Balkar/Scourge triangle and am at the trial.

 

Speaking of triangles I want to commend you on what you've done with this one so far, (Though I might not like how it turns out ) its certainly kept your readers on the edge of their seats for months. It reminded me a lot of when I used to get home from school as a kid and watch soaps with my mother. You've also done what good authors do with triangles and given time and development to both couplings and assumably developed followings for both, which is no easy feat. However, I am curious as to where you're going to have them all end up, not that I expect you to tell me. This is probably just me be nitpicky again so take this with a grain of salt, but in my experience triangles can become quickly unrootable without an endgame couple. This is often established early on at least for the author with character archetypes. Romantic Lead, Hero/Heroine, Romantic Foil. Early on its pretty easy to tell what characters go where. Liatrix - Flawed Heroine/Romantic lead. Balkar - Foil. Scourge - Flawed Hero. I'm assuming at this point that whatever Liaisons Lia had with Balkar put her true love with Scourge on ice for awhile.

 

But then, there's a rather noticeable shift when Theron enters. Balkar is phased out quickly, (I'm assuming correct me if I'm wrong) and Scourge is giving Liatrix the cold shoulder which shakes the archetypes and the formula up and I'm not quite sure where the pieces fell. It reminds me a lot of the Taylor/Ridge/Brooke triangle 1990-2002 edition. Where you have the endgame couple Liatrix/Scourge suddenly displaced by newcomer Theron. Of course how this plays out all falls down to what kind of character archetype Liatrix fits. Right up until she murdered Chancellor Saresh I'd have planted her firmly in the flawed heroine category but since then I've felt she's become less of a heroine and more of a sympathetic villainess. I would tell you my advice here was to settle on an endgame if you haven't already and plan on continuing but... I'm concerned you'd pick Scourge and I'm firmly in the Liatrix/Theron camp .

 

I want to say again how much I've enjoyed this, just in case you forgot due to all the attempts at constructive criticism above. My instructors all tell me I'm too blunt in class, so I'm hoping it comes off a little better online. Here I actually think before posting. (Most Times)

 

 

Hey there I'm always happy to meet another reader! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the story for the most part. And I appreciate the time you took to give me all this meaningful feedback. Thank you! I will be curious to see if after it's all said and done and you've read it all, if your take will have changed at all. If it has, let me know.

 

I'm okay with nitpicking as long as people are kind about it which you have been. I appreciate that, writing is sensitive business, because much of it is intensely personal, and for a long time I even found it difficult to share with others.

 

I'm thrilled to hear that you enjoy the characters and plot. Means a lot to know. It's nice to know that you feel I've given the characters dimension and personality and that they're not flat.

I have heard the term Teflon character before. And what you've said is giving me something to think about because another reader, DougTBX, said something similar a while back, about the consequences Liatrix experiences because of her actions, or rather the lack of them. Now, for me, I 'd felt like she suffers enough for what happens. She is fairly adaptable, and is talented at repressing feelings and thoughts. It's not healthy, but she does it.

 

That said, perhaps, I feel like she suffers more than she appears to, because I'm closest to her, so I feel what's going on with her...and the depth of it, but perhaps I need to focus more on translating that to everyone else. There are times, I think, well, what more do they want me to do to the woman? I feel a lot of pain for her when I write her, but maybe it's because I know what's going on in her head and heart. I know her truth, but does everyone else? She's a secretive character, sometimes even to me, and getting to the root of what's really going on in there isn't always easy.

While things seem like they turn out ok, or come up roses...the truth is, it's all a consolation prize. What she really wanted is gone and she knows her choices ruined what she wanted most. Perhaps, there should come a time, when there is no consolation prize...a dangerous thing to start thinking about so close to the end of this particular piece.

 

The checks and balances thing isn't too far off...I try to show that there is a balance...I've always been a believer in 'when one door closes another opens...' It's a sort of balance like you say. The thing is, when she decided to kill Saresh to save her father, she gave up everything...Theron, her future with him, her friends who were like family, the Republic where she'd grown up...but in showing that she had something left, I thought was more realistic...because even in real life, you could hit rock bottom, but if you look around, you'll find, there is something of value still...a friend, a pet...a treasured item...family...the fact that you're still alive, if everything else is gone. Where there is life there is hope, that sort of thing. She did reunite with her father, which is something she wanted, and he helped her come into her new life. Some think that she should be stomping puppies, kittens and little kids at this point, cause now she's Sith, but Marr is smart enough to know, that doing something like that would be too radical at the start. Integrating someone into a new society, indoctrinating...to do well takes a long time of consistent action. No one drinks all the kool aide on the first day...it's given in small doses over time, until you realize it wasn't really kool aide, and by then it's too late. Or you've learned to enjoy the taste of poison, and if it doesn't kill you, you keep at it until it does.

 

But if it's coming across like she's in a loop, or not progressing or changing, that is worrisome to me, and something I hope will come together by the end of this.

 

I'm relieved to hear that you're enjoying the triangles in the story. I've read a few and I find the most compelling ones are where you're dealing with equally wonderful, but different personalities. It makes the choice hurt. I've read a few where one choice or the other does something and the decision becomes easy...it should never be easy. I feel like, if it doesn't hurt like hell, and you're not second guessing yourself, it could be done better. Maybe I'm a masochist lol. Bit of a sadist too, cause I'm putting everyone else through it too, well, everyone that reads the story anyway lol.

It might be surprising to know, but I do have an endgame couple in my mind. I don't want to say too much because I don't want to betray the end of the work, or the sequel that's trying to claw its way out of my brain. Where my loyalties lie, may actually surprise a few people. Or not. I'm not sure if my favoritism has come across in this. I'm hoping it hasn't.

 

The thing I've always felt with archetypes, is that you can't really pigeon hole a character that way. This might fly against anything taught by real creative writing programmes or teachers, I don't know, I've never taken a course. I've taught myself, by reading tons of stuff on craft, as well as fiction. All characters, can be all archetypes at one time or another. We can be someone's hero, while being another person's villain. We can be all the things to different people. We can be all those things, within ourselves, and that's when turmoil and suffering show up. To the republic, Liatrix is a traitor...a jedi turned to evil. To the Sith, she's of their blood, but still an outsider. Her thinking sometimes shocks people, like her bridge crew when her primary goal was to save millions, rather than something selfish, or pragmatic, like letting a ship fall on a city would cause serious property damage, and give the enemy the satisfaction they hurt you. Sticking it to the enemy would be more important than the little people who might get squished.

 

I'm glad in a way, Liatrix has been 'de-grading' a long the way to where she's reached sympathetic villainess. I'd actually hoped to write a story about how a villain takes shape. But anyways, I do have an endgame pair in mind. I promise I do.

 

I appreciate you taking the time to tell me these things and offer up the excellent constructive criticisms you've brought to my attention. I'm sure as a writer yourself, you know that we don't always see the flaws, when we're so close to a thing. It helps to get a kind, outside point of view, who can help us see the things we might have missed, so for that, I thank you!

 

I look forward to seeing what you think once it's all said and done, and if any of your initial thoughts changed, or stayed the same.

Edited November 17, 2015 by Lunafox

[Billupsat]

Hey there I'm always happy to meet another reader! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the story for the most part. And I appreciate the time you took to give me all this meaningful feedback. Thank you! I will be curious to see if after it's all said and done and you've read it all, if your take will have changed at all. If it has, let me know.

 

I'm okay with nitpicking as long as people are kind about it which you have been. I appreciate that, writing is sensitive business, because much of it is intensely personal, and for a long time I even found it difficult to share with others.

 

I'm thrilled to hear that you enjoy the characters and plot. Means a lot to know. It's nice to know that you feel I've given the characters dimension and personality and that they're not flat.

I have heard the term Teflon character before. And what you've said is giving me something to think about because another reader, DougTBX, said something similar a while back, about the consequences Liatrix experiences because of her actions, or rather the lack of them. Now, for me, I 'd felt like she suffers enough for what happens. She is fairly adaptable, and is talented at repressing feelings and thoughts. It's not healthy, but she does it.

 

That said, perhaps, I feel like she suffers more than she appears to, because I'm closest to her, so I feel what's going on with her...and the depth of it, but perhaps I need to focus more on translating that to everyone else. There are times, I think, well, what more do they want me to do to the woman? I feel a lot of pain for her when I write her, but maybe it's because I know what's going on in her head and heart. I know her truth, but does everyone else? She's a secretive character, sometimes even to me, and getting to the root of what's really going on in there isn't always easy.

 

While things seem like they turn out ok, or come up roses...the truth is, it's all a consolation prize. What she really wanted is gone and she knows her choices ruined what she wanted most. Perhaps, there should come a time, when there is no consolation prize...a dangerous thing to start thinking about so close to the end of this particular piece.

 

That's very insightful, and also why I made sure to state before that I didn't believe that she was a Teflon character just that sometimes (due to as you aptly put it, consolation prizes) she went through some... Teflonic? Yeah. Going to pretend that's a word. Teflonic aftermaths. I think the issue (not a problem, you've woven an excellent tapestry) is that its not always clear what's going on under the surface with Liatrix which leaves people like me not really getting the true depth of the price she has actually paid. Whereas you, who are closest to her see everything, feel everything that might not be getting across to your readers. (Obviously, I cannot speak for anyone other than myself and can only really offer you my perspective, take whatever I say with a grain of salt.)

 

That is a dangerous prospect to be thinking about toward the end, my two cents would be to go with what you were going to do before, I'd hate to be the reason for second guessing, as I've found that to be a terrible predicament in some of my own projects.

 

The checks and balances thing isn't too far off...I try to show that there is a balance...I've always been a believer in 'when one door closes another opens...' It's a sort of balance like you say. The thing is, when she decided to kill Saresh to save her father, she gave up everything...Theron, her future with him, her friends who were like family, the Republic where she'd grown up...but in showing that she had something left, I thought was more realistic...because even in real life, you could hit rock bottom, but if you look around, you'll find, there is something of value still...a friend, a pet...a treasured item...family...the fact that you're still alive, if everything else is gone. Where there is life there is hope, that sort of thing. She did reunite with her father, which is something she wanted, and he helped her come into her new life. Some think that she should be stomping puppies, kittens and little kids at this point, cause now she's Sith, but Marr is smart enough to know, that doing something like that would be too radical at the start. Integrating someone into a new society, indoctrinating...to do well takes a long time of consistent action. No one drinks all the kool aide on the first day...it's given in small doses over time, until you realize it wasn't really kool aide, and by then it's too late. Or you've learned to enjoy the taste of poison, and if it doesn't kill you, you keep at it until it does.

 

But if it's coming across like she's in a loop, or not progressing or changing, that is worrisome to me, and something I hope will come together by the end of this.

 

I agree with how you've done it, and I think the transition has been very well handled. I think the issue for me and this ties back into the consequences bit, would be the pacing. Which is tricky, because I totally agree and enjoyed how it happened, why it happened, and the general pace of it because it all worked really well. However, because it all happened so fast I feel we may have lost some of the comeuppance for Liatrix's actions from her perspective which is important. Of course maybe I need to go back and reread those specific chapters and see if I'm remembering it the right way.

 

A loop is either a great or terrible thing depending on the character. That all comes down to what the author is trying to do with the character in questions. Loops are usually better with villains (well-written ones... loops and poorly constructed bad guys get tiresome very quick) and not so much with heroes. But even then, that is subjective and depends on what the author is trying to say or do with that character. I am a firm believer that there are no bad decisions when it comes to writing, its all in the execution that makes or breaks it.

 

I'm relieved to hear that you're enjoying the triangles in the story. I've read a few and I find the most compelling ones are where you're dealing with equally wonderful, but different personalities. It makes the choice hurt. I've read a few where one choice or the other does something and the decision becomes easy...it should never be easy. I feel like, if it doesn't hurt like hell, and you're not second guessing yourself, it could be done better. Maybe I'm a masochist lol. Bit of a sadist too, cause I'm putting everyone else through it too, well, everyone that reads the story anyway lol.

 

It might be surprising to know, but I do have an endgame couple in my mind. I don't want to say too much because I don't want to betray the end of the work, or the sequel that's trying to claw its way out of my brain. Where my loyalties lie, may actually surprise a few people. Or not. I'm not sure if my favoritism has come across in this. I'm hoping it hasn't.

 

I'm very relieved to hear that you do have an endgame in mind, even if it is Scourge. Not that I think it is or that you've shown any favoritism toward Scourge. To explain, reading your story actually made me realize I don't like him. Don't get me wrong he's a fascinating character and should have been a Love Interest in game, but reading this made me realize, he's not the kind of character I could route for because of who he is. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy reading about him, from him, or not understand why Lia has feelings for him. I just don't want her with him. I'm selfish like that. He does have great potential to be a really good Love to Hate character for me. The moment he was going to kill Theron and Balkar was really enjoyable and an awesome, 'Man I hate this guy, in a good way' moment.

 

The thing I've always felt with archetypes, is that you can't really pigeon hole a character that way. This might fly against anything taught by real creative writing programmes or teachers, I don't know, I've never taken a course. I've taught myself, by reading tons of stuff on craft, as well as fiction. All characters, can be all archetypes at one time or another. We can be someone's hero, while being another person's villain. We can be all the things to different people. We can be all those things, within ourselves, and that's when turmoil and suffering show up. To the republic, Liatrix is a traitor...a jedi turned to evil. To the Sith, she's of their blood, but still an outsider. Her thinking sometimes shocks people, like her bridge crew when her primary goal was to save millions, rather than something selfish, or pragmatic, like letting a ship fall on a city would cause serious property damage, and give the enemy the satisfaction they hurt you. Sticking it to the enemy would be more important than the little people who might get squished.

 

I'm glad in a way, Liatrix has been 'de-grading' a long the way to where she's reached sympathetic villainess. I'd actually hoped to write a story about how a villain takes shape. But anyways, I do have an endgame pair in mind. I promise I do.

 

I appreciate you taking the time to tell me these things and offer up the excellent constructive criticisms you've brought to my attention. I'm sure as a writer yourself, you know that we don't always see the flaws, when we're so close to a thing. It helps to get a kind, outside point of view, who can help us see the things we might have missed, so for that, I thank you!

 

I look forward to seeing what you think once it's all said and done, and if any of your initial thoughts changed, or stayed the same.

 

I agree with you and I don't like much archetypes myself as characters are different things to different people, my only word of caution there would be that while they can be pigeon holers, ignoring them or deliberately trying to avoid them has a way of working against writers in my experience. Characters can end up all over the map, or inadvertently landing in an archetype the author didn't want them to fall in at all. When dealing with archetypes the best advice I have, is to know how you feel about a character and what frame you want the audience to perceive them with, it doesn't have to define the character or their actions and choices but it can be a good frame of reference for how you want to present something to an audience.

 

Yes, writers have a way of being their own worst enemies, we can be overly critical of things that are already great and miss small details. That's why criticism (constructive criticism anyway) can be a godsend. Hope you're having fun writing this weeks installment.

[Lunafox]

That's very insightful, and also why I made sure to state before that I didn't believe that she was a Teflon character just that sometimes (due to as you aptly put it, consolation prizes) she went through some... Teflonic? Yeah. Going to pretend that's a word. Teflonic aftermaths. I think the issue (not a problem, you've woven an excellent tapestry) is that its not always clear what's going on under the surface with Liatrix which leaves people like me not really getting the true depth of the price she has actually paid. Whereas you, who are closest to her see everything, feel everything that might not be getting across to your readers. (Obviously, I cannot speak for anyone other than myself and can only really offer you my perspective, take whatever I say with a grain of salt.)

 

That is a dangerous prospect to be thinking about toward the end, my two cents would be to go with what you were going to do before, I'd hate to be the reason for second guessing, as I've found that to be a terrible predicament in some of my own projects.

 

 

Sure, teflonic, sounds like a good word to me. Well, I think every writer second guesses themselves, probably more often than most people do. Now, it's just a matter of figuring out how to subtly show what's going on in Liatrix's head. Like you say, it's probably best to just go with what I was going to do, but I can't help but think how I might do something better, even at this late stage.

 

I agree with how you've done it, and I think the transition has been very well handled. I think the issue for me and this ties back into the consequences bit, would be the pacing. Which is tricky, because I totally agree and enjoyed how it happened, why it happened, and the general pace of it because it all worked really well. However, because it all happened so fast I feel we may have lost some of the comeuppance for Liatrix's actions from her perspective which is important. Of course maybe I need to go back and reread those specific chapters and see if I'm remembering it the right way.

 

You're right it is difficult to have pacing that keeps things humming along, but still have enough time for introspection and consequences. A goal for the future I guess.

 

 

A loop is either a great or terrible thing depending on the character. That all comes down to what the author is trying to do with the character in questions. Loops are usually better with villains (well-written ones... loops and poorly constructed bad guys get tiresome very quick) and not so much with heroes. But even then, that is subjective and depends on what the author is trying to say or do with that character. I am a firm believer that there are no bad decisions when it comes to writing, its all in the execution that makes or breaks it.

 

Well, if she's in a loop, and I'd hoped to show a person gradually turning into a villain, then I guess I'm on the right track in a way...it's just making the transition from one archetype to the other, where the reader is concerned, I guess. Bottom line I guess I have to show what's inside her head and heart more.

 

 

I'm very relieved to hear that you do have an endgame in mind, even if it is Scourge. Not that I think it is or that you've shown any favoritism toward Scourge. To explain, reading your story actually made me realize I don't like him. Don't get me wrong he's a fascinating character and should have been a Love Interest in game, but reading this made me realize, he's not the kind of character I could route for because of who he is. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy reading about him, from him, or not understand why Lia has feelings for him. I just don't want her with him. I'm selfish like that. He does have great potential to be a really good Love to Hate character for me. The moment he was going to kill Theron and Balkar was really enjoyable and an awesome, 'Man I hate this guy, in a good way' moment.

 

I do, and hopefully it will manifest properly at the end. Scourge is a difficult man for a lot of reasons. He's hard to get to know in many ways. You're never really sure where his head is at either, (could be a Sith thing). He would have made an interesting romance in he game too I think. It's too bad they didn't indulge us with that. He's not really what you would say 'loveable'. He's complicated...and I can see that he would be one of those people who could easily become a villain, because he's already 3/4s of the way there. He's manipulative and he knows what his strengths are and how to use them to advantage. And he has no qualms about using these skills on Liatrix to get her on to his way of thinking.

 

 

I agree with you and I don't like much archetypes myself as characters are different things to different people, my only word of caution there would be that while they can be pigeon holers, ignoring them or deliberately trying to avoid them has a way of working against writers in my experience. Characters can end up all over the map, or inadvertently landing in an archetype the author didn't want them to fall in at all. When dealing with archetypes the best advice I have, is to know how you feel about a character and what frame you want the audience to perceive them with, it doesn't have to define the character or their actions and choices but it can be a good frame of reference for how you want to present something to an audience.

 

Yes, writers have a way of being their own worst enemies, we can be overly critical of things that are already great and miss small details. That's why criticism (constructive criticism anyway) can be a godsend. Hope you're having fun writing this weeks installment.

 

You do have a point there, care has to be taken, that you don't lose sight of who your character really is and where they're going if you're writing qualities into them, that are typically associated with one archetype or another. It's a fine line. And a scary one at that. Well, if anyone is their own worst enemy, that would be me lol. I nitpick myself without mercy and I'm quite mean to myself at time. It's a challenge to step back and say, don't be so rough. There have been times, I've written something, (actually the first chapter of this story is an example of one) where I hated it and didn't want to continue or look at it. I let it sit, in the case with this story, it sat for many months. The prequel to this, I wrote in 2012 I think it was. This I started in 2014. In between that I wrote other things. I came back to this out of morbid curiosity to see how terrible it was and thought, well...I could do something with that (what a difference time makes). And so here it is. As for this week's installment...wouldn't say I'm having fun at the moment lol. I'm trying, but as you say, that element of second guessing oneself is troubling...and it's there, but it was there before...with me its not something that ever really goes away.

[Lunafox]

The Foundation of All Desire (Part 59)

 

Darth Nox kicked the base of the bounty holding cell, a giddy gleam brightening her eyes. The hulking form inside groaned and clutched his ribs, but failed to stir awake completely.

 

“Marr, how thoughtful of you to send me off with a going away present. And just what I’ve always wanted too,” she purred, “It’s the gift that’ll keep on giving…” She knelt next to the cage and sparked the force field. “For the Empire,” she mocked.

 

Marr shifted his weight and crossed his arms. “The delay is regrettable. The Supreme Commander was a resourceful man…but not so resourceful as to evade my bounty hunter indefinitely.”

 

“Nearly six months in our jungles…rather remarkable he survived at all. He reminds me of the bull Tukata I slaughtered on my first day at the academy. Such a magnificent beast—dark, powerful, battle scarred. It had this enormous tusk. A shame I had to end it truly…but as I like to say, better him than me.” Nox laughed, the peals of her lighthearted laughter soaring over the landing pad.

 

“Has Vowrawn been in contact?”

 

“Yes, we’re to rendezvous on Rishi. He has several excellent leads regarding our not-so-beloved Emperor. The scans of those probes proved quite useful—he spoke of a place called…Zakuul—the probes were manufactured there.”

 

“Interesting,” Marr drawled, “I’m told more have been spotted near our outposts and those of the Republic. I suspect we’re being evaluated, but it remains to be seen by whom.”

 

“If I know Vowrawn, he’ll have the answer to that before long.”

 

Marr chuckled wryly, “His ability to wheedle out the truth is second to none.”

 

“Except perhaps me.” She gave the base of the cell another solid kick. “Load him up boys…” Nox beckoned her men and watched as they loaded her prize into the cargo bay of her ship. “Moff Pyron and the Doombringer are at your disposal until I return.”

 

“As always, I know I can count on you, Nox.”

 

“Likewise, Marr.” She took a few backwards steps before turning her back fully to him. On the ramp, she glanced over her shoulder and looked at him one last time. She didn’t want to look away from him and for the briefest moment disorientation touched her, as if the Force had imparted something that she couldn’t quite understand.

 

She sensed a stunning air of finality in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t account for, and didn’t like. It felt like an ending—an ending she didn’t want. But she knew that life was filled with them, and there was usually little to be done about them except endure, and that was something she excelled at. She would endure as she always had. Nox forced herself to look away and disappeared inside, the boarding ramp’s pistons hissing behind her.

 

The Fury-class Interceptor tore into the night sky, leaving only the fading scarlet glimmer of its thrusters among the stars.

 

 

Marr commanded his limousine to return to Cresh base, but as the lights of the hold came into view, he reconsidered. “Outpost Warden.” The chauffeur turned the gleaming black craft in a wide arc in the opposite direction.

 

A half hour later, Marr stalked across the outpost’s well-fortified grounds. The mad darkness of the Dark Temple reached over the treetops and called to him—a siren’s song that retreated at his indifference. Lightning flashed at opposite ends of the sky, heralding the clash of two powerful weather systems.

 

Marr brushed between the taut flaps of the command tent. Outside, the cricket song fell off and took the rest of the jungle sounds with it.

 

“Marr…” Scourge rose and tossed aside his data pad to mirror the unwavering stance of the titan before him.

 

“I trust you know why I’m here.”

 

“I have an inkling. She sent you?” Scourge said.

 

“No. But this, this has gone on long enough. You haven’t spoken since the wedding. There is a child’s wellbeing to consider.”

 

“Which one? The one I’m married to or the one she carries?”

 

“Enough!” Marr’s fist connected with the desk hard enough to crack the corner off. “At this moment, you are no less a child than she. I expected more of you only by virtue of your age. Only a coward abandons his family. Resolve this. Now. Or I will.”

 

“You dare threaten me!” Scourge growled.

 

“My words sound idle to you? This is no threat,” Marr hissed. The darkness roiled about him, and the inside of the tent dimmed as if an eclipse had swallowed the light inside. “She is unwell. Your child taxes her more than she will admit. Your presence is required. Be a husband.”

 

“She doesn’t want me,” Scourge muttered.

 

“Then make her want you,” Marr slashed the air and stalked out, the shadows whispering in his wake.

 

Scourge glowered at the sparring dummy tucked in the corner of his tent.

 

After Marr’s limousine faded from earshot, Scourge drew his lightsaber and cut the sparring dummy in half. Wisps of smoke rose from the bisected dummy only to be trapped by the canvas above. He retracted the blade and paced until his blood bubbled and his knuckles cracked.

 

Scourge burst out of the tent and the men nearby scattered as he stalked past. Before long, he found himself beyond the wall, away from the light and din of the camp. His lungs pumped angry gusts of breath and his fists clenched. The jungle chittered around him, until he threw back his head and roared, silencing the night. When his voice died in his throat he fell quiet and forced himself to think.

 

The air was warm and less humid during the dry season. He breathed deep and took in the majesty of nightfall. Strings of colourful lights glimmered in the Expansion Zone outlining the dark spires against the royal purple sky.

 

Obvious displays of celebration were usually frowned upon, but surviving the Republic invasion with so few casualties gave the residents something to rejoice in and as Life Day neared, the celebrations and coloured lights only multiplied. The morale of the Imperial capitol was at an all-time high.

 

He searched the sky for Dromund Kaas’s moons, and while he managed to find the larger one easily, the smaller hid beneath a cloak of thick dark cloud. They were on opposite ends of the horizon this night—distant, cold—the heavens conspiring to part them.

 

Liatrix had said something similar to him on Tython and he had derided her for it. How different their lives could’ve been had he found it within himself to forgive her then—to trust her again.

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose. She didn’t want him—it wasn’t easy to admit. How much more was he expected to endure? If his pride sustained any more damage, he’d have none, and all he had left was his dignity.

 

But what were pride and dignity, besides comfortable lies to shield oneself with? He rubbed the nape of his neck, easing the tension knotted there. He sighed. Marr was right. This had gone on long enough. The night whispered of endings, but endings were not to be feared—they spelled the end of uncertainty, which was the true disease.

 

Scourge mounted his speeder and soared into the night, his cloak muttering in the wind as he accelerated toward Cresh base.

 

Liatrix strolled across the rooftop garden—a place all her own, where she could steal away from the rest of the world. Solitude had become a frequent companion these months—a tolerant lover that allowed her to revel in her mind’s whims without enmity.

 

She drew her pale gray robes about herself more snugly, and strolled along the pavers toward the fountain at the garden’s center. A screen of sculpted evergreens sheltered the heart of the garden against prying eyes.

 

The moonlight fractured across the fountain’s rippling surface. Liatrix ran her fingers under the water weeping over the edge of the top tier. The splashing sound reminded her of Yavin Four with its towering waterfalls and lush greenery, but most especially its cathedral caves echoing with gentle promises and stolen passions. Her eyes grew bleary from the memory. Just when she didn’t think she had tears left to cry, they came as surely as if she’d called them by name, and remained as stubbornly as unwelcome guests.

 

When she was alone, she’d summon the memory of his face—the impish sparkle of his amber eyes, the pouty swell of his lower lip and the devil-may-care womprat brush cut. Next came the memory of his voice and how it warmed the parts of her chilled by darkness. She wondered if he ever realized the blinding intensity of his inner light—and how close he’d come to driving her darkness away. He was a good man, so much so, that it hurt inside when she thought about it. That he had no Force gifts only validated the injustice of the universe.

 

His image began to fade in her mind’s eye and the more she struggled to keep it there, the faster it disintegrated. Worse still, it refused to reappear. Her breathing turned shallow and the sudden void that replaced his face brought a new fear—that one day she wouldn’t be able to remember him at all—time stole details away with each passing day.

 

If she had one wish, would she wish that she’d never loved him? He would be alive if she hadn’t, but their son wouldn’t exist and she knew she could never give him up for anything or anyone. The idea that she was cursed to choose between those she loved began to take root. If she never loved, she would never need to choose between them. Perhaps the Jedi had it right after all—love is evil. Perhaps the Force was punishing her, pushing her to choose one over another until there was no one left. Nothing good could cause that much pain.

 

And then there was Scourge. She shook her head slowly and gazed up at the large bright moon overhead. She set her hand over her thickening midsection. A fluttering poke met her touch and she encouraged it, until it became a game of chase. It was a game she wished she could play with Bean who was no longer so tiny in his durasteel womb. The kicks grew more demanding as if recognizing a familiar presence nearby, then she felt it too.

 

Scourge.

 

The speeder glided onto the rooftop of Cresh base in perfect silence. He approached Liatrix with an assassin’s furtive steps and watched her through the moon-kissed shrubs. He froze. Her hand moved over her belly in a soothing motion and then stopped, as if something demanded her attention. She murmured an endearment to the child and cradled the swell of her stomach. Her eyes closed and she clamped her hand about the light post to steady herself.

 

The anger boiling through him dissipated so quickly he began to question if it had been there at all. A surge of protectiveness tore through him. He had been determined to end their union, but seeing her again in the moonlight, round with his child brought a flood of unexpected remorse.

 

What have I done?

He had been a fool. He had abandoned her, like his own father had abandoned his mother before he was born. And when he returned, it was only to exert his will, which grew more sadistic with each passing year.

 

He’d grown so mired in his own anguish he failed to notice her approach. She kept her distance but even in the dim light he noticed she was drawn and paler than he remembered.

 

“I didn’t think you were coming back.”

 

His brows pinched at the emotionless tone her observation carried. “I realize, it’s been a long time,” he murmured.

 

She kept her gaze locked on him with a boldness that wasn’t there before, or perhaps it had been, but after their separation, he was seeing her anew.

 

“It’s been months…what do you want?” She turned away from him and curved her palm over her eyes. The colour in her cheeks deepened along with her ire.

 

I want you…he thought.

 

The answer was so simple, and yet his mouth wouldn’t form the words. Too much time had passed for simplicity. “I wanted to discuss…the future—our marriage.” He folded his arms over his chest, a convenient shield to protect himself.

 

“Hmph. Some marriage. I take it you want your freedom then? Met someone else maybe?” Her words tumbled out, edged and sharp like broken glass.

 

There could never be anyone else. He sighed heavily and shook his head. “No…”

 

“No?” She whirled on him, her expression incredulous. “I don’t hear from you for months—my coms, my letters ignored. How could you be so cold?”

 

“You lied to me. We swore an oath to be honest.”

 

“You never gave me a chance to be honest. I lied because I didn’t want Theron to die.” She shook her head and scoffed, “Not that it mattered to you—you killed him anyway. Do you think I could ever forgive that?”

 

“The fool lives. I didn’t kill him, but I would have. Both times,” he seethed.

 

Liatrix’s eyes widened, “What did you say? Theron’s alive?” Her breathing stuttered and her cheeks lost their flush so quickly he thought she might collapse. He took a step forward to steady her and she took two steps backwards, waving him away. She clasped her forehead and wavered. “Theron’s alive? All these months…not a word?”

 

“Sit…”

 

“Don’t tell me what to do. Don’t touch me,” she snapped. Her knees gave and he rushed forward to catch her.

 

He eased her onto the mosaic patterned garden bench and swung his cloak from his shoulders with a flourish to cover her.

 

“Are you all right?” He drew his cloak about her, trapping his warmth inside. He wanted to touch her and his child through her, but pulled back. The touch seemed too intimate now. He didn’t dare without her invitation.

 

“Of course I’m not all right. You let me suffer all these months…How could you!” She slapped his cheek hard enough to turn his face and sting her palm. She trembled involuntarily as if she were suddenly carved of ice. She clenched her fists until her nails dug into her palms.

 

He straightened and took a deep breath. He felt the burn sink into his cheek and turn hot and numb. “You were about to betray me. I sensed your panic, when I caught you.”

 

“I didn’t betray you! I lied…only because I knew how you’d react. I didn’t want blood shed on my wedding day. But you…you let me believe he was dead. I grieved for months. I couldn’t sleep…I couldn’t eat. How could you. How could you do that to her?” She glanced down.

 

“Because I feared you’d made your choice—that you’d discarded me on our wedding day.”

 

“The only ones discarded that day were your daughter and me.”

 

“You grieved only for him?”

 

“If you’d been here, you’d know. Yes, I grieved for him and I always will. I grieved for my son…and my father. And yes, I even grieved for you. I feel change coming Scourge. Nothing will ever be the same again. I can feel it. I’ve done nothing but mourn and work and I’m tired. So tell me why you’re here and what you want. Let’s end this sham.”

 

Scourge shook his head. “Our marriage…is not a sham, not to me.” He drew a breath and hesitated, “I love you. What I did…I regret.”

 

“It’s too late Scourge. You don’t torture someone you love like that…and that’s what these months have been—torture. Living alone in uncertainty is the worst of hells,” she dabbed at the corners of her eyes and turned away.

 

“In loving you, I’ve become intimate with uncertainty.”

 

“How?”

 

“You revel in conquest. You yearn for that which is beyond your reach…until it becomes yours.”

 

“And you don’t? You only forgave me when you lost me to Theron.”

 

“Now that you know he lives—you’ll be wanting to end our marriage?”

 

“You forget, I’m not the one who left. I’ve been here waiting for you. I’ve been faithful to you.”

 

“Only because you believed he’s dead,” Scourge muttered.

 

“You’re the one who came here looking to end it. I felt it when you arrived.” She turned her gaze away and her cheeks burned under her tears. Theron was alive but his silence made his death believable, and that meant only one thing…

 

She sobbed until her shoulders shook.

 

“Liatrix…when I saw you tonight…I knew I’d been a fool.” Scourge sank into the bench beside her and clasped her chin between his fingers, “Look at me. I’m incapable of wanting anyone but you. Are you so incapable of wanting me?”

 

“We’ve brought each other nothing but misery…”

 

He swept her tears aside with his thumb. “It wasn’t always that way…not on Coruscant.”

 

“Coruscant…Korriban…it feels like another life time.”

 

“That it does, my Lord Emperor,” he cupped her cheek and swept his thumb over it until he earned her gaze. “What of us?” He urged her gently.

 

Only the sound of their collective breathing punctuated the silence hanging between them.

 

“I don’t know. Back then, I thought if only you could feel again, our problems would be over.”

 

“And now?”

 

“I don’t know. Right now I’d pay real credits if our daughter would stop trying to kick her way out. She senses you.”

 

“May I touch you?”

 

She glared at him as if debating, and then led his hand to the less than gentle pummelling she felt. She shifted uncomfortably to rearrange herself for him.

 

Fingers splayed, his hand blanketed her entire side. His lip curled up at the corner and he chuckled at the sensations under his palm.

 

Something stirred in her, at his laughter and the simple joy he took in meeting his child.

 

His hand roamed until it was inside her robe, his palm hot against her cool flesh. He traced the flutters with light fingers and Liatrix closed her eyes. Somehow he always knew just how and where to touch her and silently she cursed her reaction.

 

He shifted to face her better and grazed his lips against hers. Her eyes opened and she gazed up at him.

 

“Permit me to be your husband…” His voice was warmed silk and his touch molten. She felt the familiar flames kindle inside.

 

She caught herself almost agreeing and then recoiled. “Wait—why tonight? What changed?” Her eyes narrowed before he could answer and she laughed coldly. “My father…he got to you didn’t he? You’re here because of him,” she hissed. “What did he promise you?” She pushed up from the bench awkwardly and swore under her breath as she fixed her robes.

 

“I won’t deny it. He came to me.”

 

“What did he offer you?”

 

“Nothing, but he reminded me of something I’d almost forgotten.”

 

“And what was that?” Liatrix crossed her arms and shifted her weight.

 

“How much like my own father I’d become…”

 

“Do you really expect me to believe that?”

 

He sauntered toward her. Stubbornly she kept her back turned to him. “It was easier to leave you, than to hear you no longer wanted me.”

 

“You think you can just show up, and everything would be fine again? Like the last six months didn’t happen?”

 

Scourge sighed. “Perhaps with time, you could forgive me…and I could turn your gaze back to me. I would spend eternity protecting you and our children…allow me.”

 

He set his hands gingerly over her shoulders and felt the tension locked there. He shuffled closer and deepened his touch, kneading her flesh until she relaxed under his hands. His lip lifted at the corner when she didn’t pull away. He skimmed her throat and hooked his fingers under the soft material of her robes, drawing them apart until her shoulders were exposed and touched by moonlight.

 

Scourge pressed a kiss against one shoulder and then the other. He nuzzled a path between them and nibbled her throat. His thumbs skimmed her shoulder blades and she shivered. A soft whimper escaped her and he slipped his arms under hers, first tracing the side swell of her breasts and then cupping them to savor their new fullness. His hands moved lower to envelope her belly between his hands. He lingered there, content to hold her against him. His eyes closed and he felt contentment for the first time since the wedding.

 

Liatrix waivered against him. “Scourge?” She whispered.

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Something’s wrong with…”

 

She grew limp against him, and he tightened his hold to keep her from falling.

 

“Liatrix…Liatrix…Can you hear me? Liatrix!” Stricken, he scooped her into his arms and bolted inside.

 

Minutes later, Scourge paced the med bay, wearing the floor like an animal caged for too long. He flashed an impatient glare at the medical staff as they prodded and poked her. He ran his hand over his jaw, tugging one of his chin tendrils while he watched and waited for what seemed an eternity.

 

The chief medic approached him warily. “Lord Scourge…”

 

“Is she all right?”

 

“Lord Incarnal has had issues with blood pressure, as a result there have been complications. There is a rupture…and the placenta has separated from the uterine wall. We are unable to stop the bleeding, so she’s being moved to surgery.”

 

“The child…what of the child?”

 

“We will do all we can, she should be fine…” The chief medic drew a deep breath.

 

“What are you keeping from me?”

 

“Nothing Lord Scourge, but if it came to making a choice…which of them…”

 

“I will make this abundantly clear…do not let my wife die. Do you understand?”

 

“Yes my Lord.”

 

The medic scurried away with the rest of the team leaving Scourge alone. He stalked the med bay. He shook his head and cursed himself as a fool.

 

Not a quarter of an hour later, one of the medics returned with a tiny bundle in the crook of his arm. Scourge stared at the silent bundle and he felt his blood run cold.

 

“Lord Scourge,” the medic began, “The procedure was a success…while they’re putting the final touches on things—I thought you might like to meet your daughter…Congratulations my lord.”

 

He nodded silently, finding himself dumbstruck. The medic shifted the bundle to him and he stared down at the tiny girl…so small he could hold her in the palm of one hand if he so wished. He marvelled at the sparse lashes jutting from her closed eyelids, and skin the colour of wet sand, and thin strands of auburn hair sprouted in whorls down the middle of her head. Tiny bumps at the edges of her eyes and brows, hinted at her Sith bloodline.

 

“What of my wife?”

 

“She’s recovering well, my lord. You may see her shortly. Your daughter will require further treatment and incubation…when you’re ready of course.”

 

Scourge nodded, reluctant to give her up, but finally relenting. “Is she not the most beautiful child you’ve seen?”

 

“Yes my lord, she is. You must be very proud.”

 

“Indeed. No father could be prouder.”

 

“Have you decided her name, my Lord?”

 

Scourge nodded, “We’d agreed on Sephna, months ago…to honour my wife’s mother.”

 

Within the hour, the medic beckoned to Scourge. He crept into the dimly lit recovery room and sat at her side. She dozed peacefully, and the rosy flush of her cheeks had returned. He set his hand over hers and smiled dolefully.

 

“You have my solemn vow…I will never again leave you,” he murmured.

 

((to be continued…))

Edited November 22, 2015 by Lunafox

[PraetorianGuard_]

I guess Trix doesn't know the definition of insanity

 

6 months, did Theron abandon his kid? Doesn't seem like him at all.

 

Cant wait to see the next one

Edited November 21, 2015 by PraetorianGuard_

[Lunafox]

I guess Trix doesn't know the definition of insanity

 

6 months, did Theron abandon his kid? Doesn't seem like him at all.

 

Cant wait to see the next one

 

I think she's maybe become blind to it lol.

 

Theron thinks they're dead...he didn't abandon them, his circumstances...changed, I will reveal more in the next installment. I have in mind a story for Theron after this one is done.

[Lunafox]

The Foundation of All Desire (Part 60)

 

Shadows spawned by the flames in the hearth, wriggled across the nursery’s walls and ceiling. Liatrix gazed at the twin cradles before her. One child slept soundly and the other watched his mother with alert heavy hooded eyes. She beamed down at him, her gaze misty. “You can’t sleep either huh?” Unable to resist, she scooped him up into cradled arms.

 

She sat by the fire and caressed his head, enjoying the velvety brush of brown hair under her palm. She pressed her lips to his forehead and tickled his tummy. “You…will have everything. I promise,” she whispered. Tiny fingers curled around the tip of her index finger and she felt her heart swell.

 

The infant’s eyes widened and she marvelled at the wonder and awe reflected in them. Already she could see flecks of amber-gold growing in the pale grey field of his eyes. She sensed her father’s presence in the doorway and glanced over. Dressed in the customary black cassock he wore at night, he seemed another shadow.

 

“Be mindful of your promises…” Marr warned.

 

“Father…”

 

He paused by the cradle and watched his granddaughter. She slept with her arms up, tiny fists angled at her cheeks. “She’s grown…”

 

Liatrix nodded, “She’s catching up to him quickly.”

 

He crossed the room and stood over Liatrix and his grandson. “Already you favour him.”

 

“He needs me more than she does.”

 

“Mind your bias,” Marr warned. “Has he a name yet?”

 

“Deston Ares.”

 

“You honour me.” His countenance fixed on the baby boy. “He has much of his father in him…it won’t be easy for either of you. I trust you and Scourge have reconciled?”

 

Liatrix nodded, “It’s not as if you gave him a choice.”

 

“He’s quite capable of defying me, had he wished. He would have returned to you sooner, had he believed he was welcome.”

 

Marr took a step closer to the hearth and together, they watched destiny unfold within the writhing flames.

 

“Time is running out isn’t it?” Liatrix said.

 

“You feel it too.”

 

“I have for a while now. Sometimes I can hear the shadows whispering. How long do we have?”

 

“Not long…a few months at most...” Marr said.

 

“Father…there must be something we can do…I can’t just let you die.”

 

“That, is exactly, what you must do. That is the only way we win.”

 

“The price is too high.”

 

“Without sacrifice…we lose everything,” Marr whispered.

 

“I know, but that doesn’t make it easy to live with.”

 

“No…I wouldn’t expect it to. But you, you must live.”

 

She gazed down at the little one. His grip on her finger tightened, and for a moment, she wondered if he understood.

 

*****

 

Balkar staggered down the alley, one hand padding along the building as if he expected it to make a sudden move.

 

He took a swallow from his flask, and wiped his mouth with his cuff. He feigned dizziness and remained still as he surveyed the alley with a sharp gaze.

 

Despite the Coruscanti sun having set hours ago, the street lamps had yet to flicker to life in the alley outside Theron’s warehouse apartment.

 

He tugged a light-stick from his inside breast pocket and snapped it to unleash a bright glow. He tilted the light up.

 

The lamps above had been shot out, and the usual denizens of the alley were conspicuously missing. Reassured that he wasn’t being watched, he pressed on toward Theron’s building.

 

This just smells like all kinds of wrong…

The exterior camera concealed in Theron’s doorway had been blacked out, and the series of locks sliced so elegantly they froze up rather than wailing a warning. Balkar frowned.

 

Whoever it was…they’re good. They’d have to be to get the drop on you at home…

Balkar pulled a pry bar from inside his coat. He forced the durasteel doors apart, just enough to squeeze between them, and then forced them shut again from inside.

 

He straightened and drew his pistol, rounding each corner with caution. Broken glass crunched under his boots and the shadowy silhouettes of busted speeders darkened the corridors. He stepped over the armrest of a chair and then a broken end table. “Looks like you put up one helluva fight…”

 

He threw himself into the office chair and hunched over Theron’s computer console. Twenty minutes later, he shoved off from the desk and rolled backwards, scowling. “Everything’s gone…whoever did this wiped everything.”

 

Balkar swivelled the chair, fingers drumming over the armrests. “You’re nothing if not paranoid…you’d have a back-up.” He shot out of the chair and turned the place over.

 

After an hour, he found the concealed entrance to Theron’s control room through a floor hatch under an Aratech crate. “I knew it.”

 

Balkar settled into the top-of-the-line com station and cracked his knuckles. Five minutes later he’d sliced into the system.

 

“Display security footage…”

 

Balkar watched the two of them stumble in after their escape from Dromund Kaas. The next four days, they’d spent drinking to forget. It didn’t work. The rest of the week, Balkar tried convincing Theron to join him on a party jag to end all party jags—also to forget. Theron refused. Just as well, it didn’t work either. The only thing Balkar managed to accomplish was to plow through half his savings—not the brightest thing he’d ever done. He knew someone’s head would roll after the catastrophe involving the Supreme Commander. Had he been realistic, he’d have known that head would be his.

 

He forwarded the recording and paused to watch Theron a month and a half later.

 

Theron had drained two bottles of Kri’gee and turned his pistol over and over in his hands. Balkar's brows met. After field stripping the weapon twice, Theron’s image passed out on the couch with the weapon still in his lap.

 

When he woke, he holstered the pistol and stumbled over to his desk computer. “Kark…my head,” he muttered. After taking something for the hangover, he returned to the computer. “Print hard copy, retinal implant capture L-28.” A glossy square shot out of the unit and he stared at it for a long time.

 

Theron propped the image into the corner of his monitor. A moment later he buried his face in his arms, and his shoulders shook.

 

Balkar hit pause and looked away. His stomach knotted. He didn’t need to enhance the image to know it was Liatrix.

 

The recording flickered. Balkar ran his hand over his jaw. He tipped his head back into the headrest and sighed.

 

First…you get her killed…then you leave him all alone…good job. Way to kark things up.

He took a long swig from his flask, and forced himself to forward the recording until the security images exploded with flame and smoke.

 

“Karking hell?!”

 

A dark army plowed into the apartment. Balkar leaned in closer to the monitor and enhanced the captures again. He didn’t recognize the black and red insignia which looked like a sun rising on the wrong side of the horizon. Even hung over, Theron managed to put up a good fight, before being overwhelmed by sheer numbers and force. Two troopers lifted Theron by the armpits, and another slipped a black sack over his head before they dragged him off.

 

A well-dressed man sporting a black bespoke suit and rectangular framed specs scanned the apartment. Upon closer inspection, Balkar realized they weren’t specs, but top of the line optical enhancements.

 

Despite his pallor and pale hair, the man couldn’t have been more than thirty. He leaned into Theron’s computer station and plucked out the retinal image of Liatrix. He considered the image and slipped it into his inside breast pocket. He tugged at the cuffs of his immaculate gloves and stalked off camera.

 

“Aw hell,” Balkar muttered and ran his hand over his stubble covered jaw. His gaze shifted to the holocom unit and the flashing blue light indicating Theron had messages and mail.

 

He tapped the mail server to see Theron had one unread message from a month ago. “Well, let’s have a look…” Balkar murmured.

 

“Kark me…you’re alive!” He gasped.

 

From: Liatrix

Subject: Regrets…

I wasn’t sure if I should write. Our son was born today, I thought you’d want to know—I named him Deston Ares. The file attachment is his image.

You’ve been silent all this time and I understand why. I understand why you hate me. How could you not? Maybe it will give you comfort to know, that no matter how much you hate me, I hate myself more. For what I did to you…to us.

When I’m alone with my thoughts, I retreat to the times we shared together. They seem so far away now, those times, and I fear the day will come when I can no longer see your face in my dreams and memories. I tried to write when I learned you were still alive, but I couldn’t find the words. Not even these are worthy of you and the joy you brought to my life.

I sense dark times coming. Few of us know how much time we have left, but I want you to know, you were the light I never found within myself, and when I was with you, I felt whole for the first and only time in my life. In losing you, I lost the best part of myself. I will always love you.

~L.

 

Balkar clamped his hand over his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. He sniffed and mopped the damp salt from his cheeks. Aw hell.

 

He reached for his flask to take another draught but found it drained. He flung the flask and slapped his palms against the com.

 

A million questions clamoured for answers all at once but there weren’t any. Damnit. He remembered the holocom messages and retrieved them.

 

Lana’s image sprung up from the centre of the com unit. “Theron…are you there? Theron? Well, it would seem you’re away. There are urgent matters I wish to discuss with you, at your earliest convenience. I’m putting together a task force and I would welcome your insight and assistance. I don’t think I need explain what this is about. I’ve reinstated your access to my personal com line. Lana out.”

 

“Play next message,” Balkar commanded.

 

Lana’s image manifested again. “Theron…I trust you’ve returned safely. We must speak. Our outposts are being attacked, and the core worlds have had several encounters with foreign probes. Both Darth Marr and I believe we’re being evaluated. We have yet to establish if it is a new enemy or rather an old one. I realize I may be the last person you wish to speak to, but this is a matter of urgency, for both our peoples. Lana out.”

 

Balkar rubbed at his jaw. “Only one thing to do then…” He tapped the frequency and waited. Lana’s image appeared for the third time over the com unit. “Lana Beniko—oh it’s you. What do you want? On second thought, I don’t have time for this.”

 

“Lana wait! It’s about Theron. He’s missing—has been for a few months now…at least five by my calculations.”

 

“What? Are you sure? Perhaps he’s taken an assignment—or taken that vacation he was always on about?”

 

“Yeah, I’m sure. Lemme send you something. Take a look at it, and see what if anything it means to you.”

 

“All right.”

 

Balkar tapped a series of code into the com unit and connected it with the security feed. “Sending…”

 

Lana took up her data pad and skimmed through the security footage. Her mouth fell open and she paled visibly. “It can’t be.”

 

“Frosty…what? What can’t be? Who is that guy?”

 

“Someone I thought dead…long ago,” she murmured. “Where can we meet?”

 

“Nar Shaddaa?”

 

“Very well…in two days,” Lana nodded, “But where?”

 

“I have a safe house…sending co-ordinates.”

 

“Understood, Lana out.”

 

Let’s just hope we’re not too late…Balkar thought.

 

*****

After the children were tended and back to sleep, Liatrix returned to her room. Scourge lay sprawled over their bed, thick arms and powerful legs jutting out in all directions. He stirred, and she thought he might wake, but when he didn’t, she strolled outside onto the moonlit balcony.

 

She leaned against the stone half wall and held herself. The breeze picked up, and her hair and gown rustled in the warm night air. Dark clouds, edged in silver passed over the moon’s face like a mask—or perhaps, it was a blindfold. She decided it didn’t matter—both were tools used by liars to cover painful truths. Lies didn’t discriminate, they found homes in the darkness and the light.

 

A month had passed, since she’d sent the letter and while she didn’t expect an answer, she had hoped. But with his rejection came a release from uncertainty. And anger—and resignation.

 

She felt a pair of strong arms encircle her and she smiled wistfully.

 

“My Lord Emperor…seems troubled…” Scourge’s voice was a soft rumble against her ear lobe.

 

She turned in his arms and gazed up at him, “I am, but I can always count on you to help me forget.”

 

He set her atop the garden wall. Easing her knees apart, he stood between them and held her. His gaze fixed on hers, and his brow furrowed. “Is that what you want? To forget?”

 

“Yes…” She looked away, unable to meet his gaze.

 

“Is there something you need to say to me?”

 

“I promised you I’d be honest. Please—don’t be angry. I wrote Theron. I told him about Deston. That was over a month ago.”

 

“And you’ve heard nothing back...”

 

“Not a word…” She peered up at him expecting to see the beginnings of his wrath. “I guess this is where you remind me that I’m a fool.”

 

“No,” he held her face between his hands and tilted his head, “This is where I remind you that you are mine…I love you as no other could and I will purge your mind of any other.”

 

His eyes burned with conviction. Unable to resist any longer, he crushed his mouth against hers, and his thumbs swept over her collarbones. The soft pressure of her arms and legs binding him to her, fuelled his need, and he deepened his kiss, savouring each taste of her lips. Their hands became feverish moving knots, clamouring for more of the other, until any material separating them fell shredded on the balcony floor.

 

He groaned into her mouth as he coaxed her legs higher and pressed her back against the wall as he claimed her. Not even the rain drew their attention. Thunder and lightning began their familiar game of chase, and only when the clouds opened to drench them with a torrents of rain, did they retreat. Slick and shivering, they continued their awkward clumsy dance inside, leaving behind a trail of rain and artifacts and furniture mindlessly knocked from their resting places to the floor.

 

Hours later, the bed was a casualty of war. The tangle of sheets that bound them together, served as makeshift bandages, binding the unseen but no less painful wounds they’d inflicted on each other since their first meeting on Quesh.

 

Liatrix curled into the crook of his arm, and hooked one leg over his to revel in the quiet aftermath of their passion. Her fingertips played over his chest, and she could feel the driving power of his heartbeat.

 

He pressed a kiss into her hair. “You seem pensive. Do you require another reminder?”

 

Her eyes brightened with amusement, “You’re insatiable.”

 

“No more so, than my Lord Emperor.” He brought her hand to his lips and brushed a kiss over her knuckles. “I love you.”

 

“I know,” she flashed an impish grin and allowed the words to hang between them, before speaking the rest, “I love you too.”

 

Sated, Lord Scourge closed his eyes and dozed, his fingertips tracing the curve of her shoulder involuntarily.

Liatrix’s gaze fixed on the rain slithering down the window, and after a long time, she closed her eyes, and let herself dream…

 

*****

 

Theron’s head lolled against his chest and blood had crusted over the cut on the centre of his lip. He felt heat and light warm his face, and he lifted his head.

 

His vision blurred and he blinked rapidly to chase the milky residue tainting his sight. A tall black blur began to sharpen into a man and Theron moaned something imperceptible under his breath and snickered. Blood sputtered over his lower lip and he laughed.

 

The man in black bared his teeth in a sinister grin and poured himself tea in a fine aurodium trimmed cup. “Look who’s finally decided to join us. Technoplague…it’s good to see you, old friend. It’s been far too long.”

 

“Finally a code name. Do you have any idea, how long I’ve been gunning for a code name? Figures you Imps would come up with one first. Gotta say it’s a bit of a mouthful though. Technoplague? Seriously?” Theron snorted, “So, what are you going by these days? Cipher One? Alpha? Idiot?”

 

“The Hand…”

 

“Still can’t get a girl huh?”

 

One laughed, “And you couldn’t keep one, I see…” He plucked Liatrix’s photo from his inside breast pocket. “She could do better, that goes without saying. Clearly she lacks taste…I take it she’s special?”

 

“Pffft no. I did her to prove a point. It was fun for a while, but then she got clingy. No way I’m ever going anywhere near that again—but hey, lemme go…and I’ll give you her com frequency. Never say I didn’t do anything for ya.”

 

“You haven’t changed a bit,” One sipped his tea, and sat opposite Theron. “Still wearing your heart on your sleeve I see. But no matter, I didn’t invite you here to discuss Marr’s daughter.” One’s lip crept up smugly.

 

“Not like you invited me to tea either. So what’s the occasion?”

 

“Tell me,” One swirled the contents of his tea cup, and leaned forward to whisper intimately, “How do you feel about the democratization of fear?”

 

*****

 

Time passes too quickly, Liatrix mused sadly.

 

She gazed down at her children, the two curled together in the same cradle now. They needed to learn to draw comfort from each other. She caressed each one in turn, but her hand lingered over Deston. He kicked his feet and cooed up at her. The spit bubble that had formed over his lips snapped and his eyes grew wide. Liatrix wiped his chin and smiled wistfully. His eyes had turned fully amber now, and if she gazed at them long enough, she could see the man he would one day become.

 

Sephna’s strange pale eyes fixed on Deston. Seemingly annoyed by his pandering, she swatted him. Even at eight months, her gaze was surprisingly stern and reflected her father’s sardonic glint.

 

Deston ignored his sister and yawned.

 

Liatrix felt a presence in the doorway. “It’s time, isn’t it?”

 

“Yes…” Marr nodded.

 

Liatrix glanced at the children, and then turned away. If she lingered any longer, leaving them would be impossible.

 

She paused outside the doorway and glanced up at the newly buffed and polished droid standing guard. “I’m glad you’re functional again HK. We missed you.”

 

“Thank you Master, as always it is a pleasure to serve you.”

 

“Keep them safe for me.”

 

“Assurance: I will not fail you again. You have my promise Master, your spawn will be the safest in the galaxy.

 

“Children, HK, they’re called children…and you didn’t fail me…”

 

“Intent: I will endeavour to remember. Safe travels, Master.”

 

*****

 

Liatrix and Marr emerged from the Shuttle Fuliginous and rode the station’s lift in silence. Half way up to the Erinyes’ boarding deck, Liatrix paused the lift.

 

“I may not get another chance alone with you…I love you father.” She embraced him with a quiet dignity he didn’t expect.

 

“And I you.”

 

Slowly, she drew away and lifted her chin. “Resume lift.”

 

Lord Scourge met them upon their arrival, and the trio strode toward the bridge. Liatrix paused at the com to hail the Erebus. “Admiral Veers, you have the bridge. Proceed to the rendezvous point.”

 

“Understood my Lord, Veers out.”

 

The Erebus fell in line with the rest of the fleet as they pulled out and readied for hyperspace.

 

Liatrix took her place at her father’s side and Lord Scourge loomed protectively behind her.

 

The Erinyes drew away from space dock, and rose into the star filled black sea. Darth Marr stood on the bridge, hands clasped behind his back. His countenance reflected the darkness ahead, but the solace that came from a life defined by dedication inspired those closest to him.

 

Together, they formed a dark trinity moving towards an uncertain future—their only comfort, was the truth they’d always known and accepted—only darkness can fight darkness.

 

 

The End...

 

(For now…roll credits…)

 

Author's Note:

Woo! All done! If you liked this story, look out for my next project titled, 'Spy vs. Spy’ in a week or two.

 

Thanks for reading, and thanks for all the comments, feedback and discussion over this past year. I hope you enjoyed my crazy story.

 

I feel a bit sad, yet relieved that it’s all done. I consider it a joy and a privilege to have gotten to know many of you, and to write alongside such talented people here on our beloved fan fic forum. If you’re up to it, drop me a line or two, I’d love to know who was a part of the journey. I’m also curious which shipping camp (Scourge or Theron) most of you were with lol.

 

Edited December 5, 2015 by Lunafox

[wangxiuming]

Wow! This is an amazing accomplishment; congratulations! The quality of your writing is always excellent and in the few months that I've been lurking around your thread, I've always been impressed by the thought and care given to these characters and your story.

 

Will eagerly look forward to see what's in store for us in Spy vs. Spy.

[bright_ephemera]

What a spectacular piece! What a tantalizing ending! I'm a diehard Scourge shipper but this is starting to sell me on the Theron thing. Love it, Lunafox. Really, this was tremendous.

[PraetorianGuard_]

Loved it from beginning until end. But I felt that there was no closure with Theron, is that what spy vs. spy is about? He thinks Trix is dead and Trix thinks he has moved on. They haven't really came to terms yet.

[Lunafox]

Wow! This is an amazing accomplishment; congratulations! The quality of your writing is always excellent and in the few months that I've been lurking around your thread, I've always been impressed by the thought and care given to these characters and your story.

 

Will eagerly look forward to see what's in store for us in Spy vs. Spy.

 

Thank you I'm a bit amazed myself lol. And thank you for the lovely compliments, it means a lot to hear. Excited, nervous, that's about how I feel about Spy Vs. Spy. I hope everyone will like it.

 

 

What a spectacular piece! What a tantalizing ending! I'm a diehard Scourge shipper but this is starting to sell me on the Theron thing. Love it, Lunafox. Really, this was tremendous.

 

*Blush* Well thank you! Coming from you that's high praise. I'm really thrilled that you enjoyed it. I feel a bit weird now, cause I'm actually done (well for now). Theron will be in the next one, so I'm hoping that will be fun.

 

 

Loved it from beginning until end. But I felt that there was no closure with Theron, is that what spy vs. spy is about? He thinks Trix is dead and Trix thinks he has moved on. They haven't really came to terms yet.

 

That's good to hear, I'm happy that you loved it. I realize I left things a bit open between them, it was on purpose, and Spy Vs. Spy will be focusing on Theron, Balkar and their misadventures, and will take up the span of time of the five years Liatrix will be on ice. It was going out on a branch a little bit, but I didn't really want them to have closure, and I wanted a few things to remain unanswered in order to have something to look forward to for the next stories.

[frauzet]

Thank you for sharing this story with us. As I said before, I have always been looking foward to the next part. So I am thrilled to learn, you are going to write another story.

 

As for the shipping camp, I actually don't think I belong to either one, although I did hope, Scourge wouldn't give up in the middle. I enjoyed both romances, even though maybe not as much as Liatrix

The end leaves me a bit sad for her, because I feel like she isn't able to appreciate the things she got.

[Lunafox]

Thank you for sharing this story with us. As I said before, I have always been looking foward to the next part. So I am thrilled to learn, you are going to write another story.

 

As for the shipping camp, I actually don't think I belong to either one, although I did hope, Scourge wouldn't give up in the middle. I enjoyed both romances, even though maybe not as much as Liatrix

The end leaves me a bit sad for her, because I feel like she isn't able to appreciate the things she got.

 

And thank you for reading and for all the lovely feedback I'm looking forward to the next one, I hope everyone will like it.

 

Happy to hear you enjoyed both romances, I hoped they would be quite different from each other but still fun The ending is a sad one, especially when you consider what happens in KotFE. She didn't really get much time to enjoy what she managed to get out of her life.

[Coge]

Lunafox you are an amazing talent. I read this in a day, I was hooked. Your characters are superb and I felt like I was getting more class story. The dialogue blew my mind. Seriously EAware should look into hiring you. I mean it. This is some of the best fanfic I've read in a long time.The new story looks great too. I feel like I just binged on Netflix or something. This is some really really great work here. Amazing!!

[Lunafox]

Lunafox you are an amazing talent. I read this in a day, I was hooked. Your characters are superb and I felt like I was getting more class story. The dialogue blew my mind. Seriously EAware should look into hiring you. I mean it. This is some of the best fanfic I've read in a long time.The new story looks great too. I feel like I just binged on Netflix or something. This is some really really great work here. Amazing!!

 

Thanks so much! *blush* I'm really thrilled that you enjoyed it, and thanks for letting me know. It's lovely to hear and really helps to keep me going. ^^

[JennyFlynn]

I realize I'm rather late to the party and I don't even know where to start..

 

Last night my eye caught the 'fan fiction' section of the forums. I've always loved fan fictions on any well, fandoms that hold my interest including this game and the characters we love and loathe so dearly. Browsing the stickied index I searched for a Jedi Knight story hoping to catch some well written Lord Scourge action. I found both your stories, their titles somehow drew me in as they made me suspect I might find some Scourge here. You didn't disappoint. I read my way through Well of Undying and was hooked instantly, not to mention disappointed to see it end so soon but then I clicked this story and.. my god. Suddenly it felt like Well of Undying was a mere prologue to this epicly brilliant story. What was supposed to be an hour'ish of me reading a decent story before bed turned into me staying up 5 hours past bed time, only giving up because my eyes were giving out and the letters had begun dancing across my screen. I got straight back to this story when I woke up and devoured it all.

 

You have a genuine talent and such a way with words. Every single character is beyond believable, true to what we know them to be but also so much more and so incredibly plausible. At one point early on, I really didn't know who I was rooting for most. I wanted Doc to win his wife back, for her to love him like he deserves but the appeal for Lord Scourge was so strong at the same time. I've always had a soft spot for Jonas ever since leveling my Trooper so his addition to this story and his role had me in his camp as well. Then there's Theron who I've adored from the moment I 'met' him in game, he's such a wonderful character though at times I kinda want to slap him silly and just shake my head at him. Even now that this story's finished, I cannot decide who I'd actually like Liatrix to be with.

 

As for Liatrix.. I love and adore her but she makes me mad too. There were a few moments where I felt like "okay she can't meet a man without them going all gaga over her? this is getting silly" but then the pheromones explanation wriggled it's way into the story which suddenly made all of it that much more plausible and interesting.

 

Darth Marr as her father, I saw that coming for quite a while before the actual reveal though at times I dared myself to wonder if perhaps the Emperor was her father. Part of that was knowing the Jedi Knight's in-game history with the Emperor, her ability to break free from his grasp (granted with Master Din's help too) whereas her fellow Jedi Masters older and more experienced failed. The way Scourge regarded her, the man in the dream seeming more like Darth Marr yet a plausible description for the Emperor too as well as the biological samples taken from her to help restore the Emperor. It half makes me wonder if you had always intended for Darth Marr to be her father or if perhaps somewhere along the way you toyed with the Emperor possibility too?

 

As much as I enjoyed it, there was a hint of annoyance inside of me towards the end though this bears absolutely no criticism towards the story it self at all. I just.., as Darth Marr and Lord Scourge talked with one another on several occasions discussing her and her future.. I couldn't help but feel like she'd once more been reduced to a pawn. A pawn loved and cared for by both men, no doubt but a pawn non the less. Like her future became theirs to decide, pushing and encouraging her towards Lord Scourge and a marriage to him. The insistence she stay with him and him with her no matter what, regardless of her inner turmoil and feelings. In a way I don't think her life was ever her own anymore from the moment her mother was killed.

 

One great thing I truly appreciated about your story is that you didn't reduce Lord Scourge into a cute little fluffy kitten in order to make his relationship with the protagonist work. I also credit you for not adding Darth Marr to her list of lovers and instead, introducing him as her father. Don't know if I could.. for a 'cartoon' character, the man is quite enigmatic and tempting.

 

All in all.. you've had me laughing, crying, throwing extremely deadly and angry glares at my screen as I read over certain parts and it's been an amazing experience reading this story. You're brilliant. Thank you!

[Lunafox]

I realize I'm rather late to the party and I don't even know where to start..

 

Last night my eye caught the 'fan fiction' section of the forums. I've always loved fan fictions on any well, fandoms that hold my interest including this game and the characters we love and loathe so dearly. Browsing the stickied index I searched for a Jedi Knight story hoping to catch some well written Lord Scourge action. I found both your stories, their titles somehow drew me in as they made me suspect I might find some Scourge here. You didn't disappoint. I read my way through Well of Undying and was hooked instantly, not to mention disappointed to see it end so soon but then I clicked this story and.. my god. Suddenly it felt like Well of Undying was a mere prologue to this epicly brilliant story. What was supposed to be an hour'ish of me reading a decent story before bed turned into me staying up 5 hours past bed time, only giving up because my eyes were giving out and the letters had begun dancing across my screen. I got straight back to this story when I woke up and devoured it all.

 

You have a genuine talent and such a way with words. Every single character is beyond believable, true to what we know them to be but also so much more and so incredibly plausible. At one point early on, I really didn't know who I was rooting for most. I wanted Doc to win his wife back, for her to love him like he deserves but the appeal for Lord Scourge was so strong at the same time. I've always had a soft spot for Jonas ever since leveling my Trooper so his addition to this story and his role had me in his camp as well. Then there's Theron who I've adored from the moment I 'met' him in game, he's such a wonderful character though at times I kinda want to slap him silly and just shake my head at him. Even now that this story's finished, I cannot decide who I'd actually like Liatrix to be with.

 

As for Liatrix.. I love and adore her but she makes me mad too. There were a few moments where I felt like "okay she can't meet a man without them going all gaga over her? this is getting silly" but then the pheromones explanation wriggled it's way into the story which suddenly made all of it that much more plausible and interesting.

 

Darth Marr as her father, I saw that coming for quite a while before the actual reveal though at times I dared myself to wonder if perhaps the Emperor was her father. Part of that was knowing the Jedi Knight's in-game history with the Emperor, her ability to break free from his grasp (granted with Master Din's help too) whereas her fellow Jedi Masters older and more experienced failed. The way Scourge regarded her, the man in the dream seeming more like Darth Marr yet a plausible description for the Emperor too as well as the biological samples taken from her to help restore the Emperor. It half makes me wonder if you had always intended for Darth Marr to be her father or if perhaps somewhere along the way you toyed with the Emperor possibility too?

 

As much as I enjoyed it, there was a hint of annoyance inside of me towards the end though this bears absolutely no criticism towards the story it self at all. I just.., as Darth Marr and Lord Scourge talked with one another on several occasions discussing her and her future.. I couldn't help but feel like she'd once more been reduced to a pawn. A pawn loved and cared for by both men, no doubt but a pawn non the less. Like her future became theirs to decide, pushing and encouraging her towards Lord Scourge and a marriage to him. The insistence she stay with him and him with her no matter what, regardless of her inner turmoil and feelings. In a way I don't think her life was ever her own anymore from the moment her mother was killed.

 

One great thing I truly appreciated about your story is that you didn't reduce Lord Scourge into a cute little fluffy kitten in order to make his relationship with the protagonist work. I also credit you for not adding Darth Marr to her list of lovers and instead, introducing him as her father. Don't know if I could.. for a 'cartoon' character, the man is quite enigmatic and tempting.

 

All in all.. you've had me laughing, crying, throwing extremely deadly and angry glares at my screen as I read over certain parts and it's been an amazing experience reading this story. You're brilliant. Thank you!

 

 

Well, hello Better late than never I say lol. It's always great to meet another fan of Lord Scourge, Balkar's and Theron's and of course Darth Marr!

 

Thank you so much for your lovely compliments and encouragement. I really do appreciate it and it helps to spur me on.

 

Did I consider having the Emperor be her father...yes, but very briefly...then it evolved more into the idea that to reconstitute himself from his incorporeal form, he'd want to use someone who is powerful in the force, and the idea that he would return using his greatest enemy to do so had a certain appeal. I'd always had Marr on my mind for her father, it made sense to me, and I really love Marr, so I wanted to see him in a more evolved way than we do in the game. I wanted to see what it might be like to see Marr the father, the husband as well as Marr the leader of the Dark Council.

 

It's actually my hope to write a prequel to this entire thing someday, about when Marr was younger and how he evolved into the man he became, using the history I created for Foundation and also the facts I found online about him as well.

 

It's an interesting thing about Liatrix being a pawn...as you say she always has been to a degree, even with all her power. The only freedom she knew was as a child, that was her happiest time. The difference though between the Republic and the Empire is that for the Empire she became somewhat of a willing pawn, because of her love for her father. She wanted to do what pleased him, she's always been a daddy's girl from birth practically. I'm not even sure if he was thinking of her so much as a pawn, as wanting to ensure her future and set her up with the people he believed would do right by her and make sure she succeeds, but even in that, unwittingly she became a pawn. In the next installment, it's likely something that I'll work around to examining...and of course what becomes of her, and to see if she does actually break free of that and become her own woman so to speak, and how that affects her relationships.

 

Anyways, thanks again Jenny for the compliment. I'm always happy to meet another reader. ^^