BarradukMordai Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Hello Everyone, So I've been thinking lately - and most of that thinking has been about SWTOR. Some about Pizza, some about who would win in a snark-off between Han Solo and Indiana Jones and some about the Mountain Dew Mountain I built while watching SWTOR cutscenes. But mostly SWTOR. Those thoughts are now turning into word vomit. Long blocks of word vomit. Ranty word vomit. Now listed, numbered, with subheads, proclaiming every opinion I loosely and largely unintentionally formed about stuff. SWTOR stuff. All posted to this forum as a rant. Because that's where ranty word vomit belongs. On forums. Here: Below: This List: Of SWTOR stuff: 1. PvP Why am I not always the winner in PvP? In kindergarten, we played soccer. No one kept score. Because what kindergartner wants to admit that they're a loser? There were numbers, but they were on our shirts. They didn't change. It was so parents knew who their kid was. "oh mine's number 8! I think?". And to keep track of who got an orange slice. Everyone got an orange slice. Two if someone else mistakenly thought it was their week to bring the oranges. And everyone got a trophy. I haven't been outside since kindergarten. The 80s. 23 years. But I'm almost certain this is how 99% of the world works. Give me a trophy. And an orange slice. 2. PvE Why am I not always the winner in PvP? (See point 1.) 3. My Classes - the ones I play Each of the classes I play are unbalanced and need to be buffed... ~Unless~ someone else is playing them against me. And beating me. And then the offending player/class is cheating and/or needs to be nerfed. No one should beat me. (See point 1.).) 4. Companion Crafting Companion crafting is cool and all - but let's face it - my companions should be making me raid gear. At level 30. And it should take them less than 10 seconds to do. I've been told that attention spans on the internet are only 10 seconds long. Which means if it takes them 11 seconds to make me end game gear I'll.... 4.1. 4.2. 4.3. 4.4. What? 4.5. Oh. 4.6. ...I lost track of what I was doing. What point am I on? 4.6.1. 4.6.2. Thanks. 5. $15/month I know I know, almost every good mmo makes you pay $15/month. But I'm paying for this now. So listen to me. I only like 99% of the game. 99%. Where's the other 1%? Use my money to develop it. With $15 I could buy a sandwich, a soda, some chips and a thing of cookies. And another thing of cookies. I'm amazing. Stop applauding. If I accomplish that much, you should be able to develop 6 months worth of content in 3 days on my $15. I want you to send me an itemized breakdown of how each of those $15 will be split by resource / rate and level of effort between each of my proposed changes. Without that information in a response to this message in the next 2 minutes, I will respond with further critique! You've been warned. In the meantime I'm going to buy another thing of cookies. 6. Bugs I found one the other day. Then another one today. I don't know much about development, but did you guys even think about calling an exterminator BEFORE launching the game!?! 7. Graphics I like graphics. I like this game's graphics. But other people are complaining about this game's graphics. Although I didn't notice issues until I read their complaints, I totally notice all of the issues they're talking about now. But I still don't understand what they're talking about. What are they talking about? It's a problem.... (See point 1.).).).).).) 8. World of Warcraft In order for this list to be complete and accepted as a fair critique of SWTOR, I need to reference World of Warcraft at least three times. Did you know that World of Warcraft is also an mmo? You guys should've known that. AND you should've done everything they did without doing anything they did before launching. So do it now. But don't! 9. Voiced Quests Why didn't you have William H. Macy voice a Jedi? Or a bartender? Or a shuttle pilot? Or a Jedi bar pilot tenderizing a shuttle? Or all of those things in the same quest chain? That would've been great. Without that, this game shouldn't claim to be "Fully Voiced". It's not true. 10. Rated Battlegrounds I know you guys are planning on doing this. It's on your radar for optimizations. I follow your radar guy's blog. But I wanted to bring it up again incase one or more of you forgot. And he forgets. I hear you guys are prone to forget about these things. A friend who's also a developer told me that. He was on the development team for Space Quest IV. Which is also a space game. Rated Battlegrounds. 11. That guy on Quesh who gives the quests to kill the Gammoreans, but when he gave it to me the Gammoreans killed me instead, still he gave me the quest and yeah. Him. Yeah that guy. He shouldn't have given me the quest if he knew I was going to die. He should've waited a level or something. Apple developed AI, why can't you? It's in a phone. Yours would be in a computer. Computers are bigger than phones. So it should be easier because your codes don't need to be as small. Unless it's a phone-puter. Maybe if that quest guy had a phone-puter's AI he would've waited a level and then told me he was waiting a level in a flat monotone voice while randomly suggesting a bunch of restaurants I don't like. Or maybe waited two levels. Or directed me to the closest gun shop. I don't know - but the bottom line is, I shouldn't die. Use one of my subscription dollars to call Apple about that phone-puter thing. 12. Death Why do I have to run so far after I die when that little resurrection droid thing is on yet another lunch break? (Which he takes like 5x a day.) Shouldn't there be like... space paramedics or a space ambulance that can fly to me or something? I mean - old people have life alert these days. Giant button you press when your heart's failing or you've got a bad hip cramp. This is space. Space is the future. Shouldn't we have a backup droid incase the floaty ball droid is taking ANOTHER lunch for ANOTHER 2:30? And why is he taking lunch anyway? Let alone 5. He's made of metal! Is he in a union? A droid union? Next patch, bust his droid Union and make him work overtime without benefits. He does like 1 thing anyway. 13. World of Warcraft This is the second reference. 14. Hutts I'm pretty sure you guys reused the model for the Hutt too many times. I counted 50 Hutts. 1 Hutt model. I know he's a slug, but even slugs in real life look different. Some are green. Some are green with a yellow spot. It's there. Don't see it? Flip it over. I think the Hutt's need to vary, because I heard someone else one time saying it's lazy to use the same model more than once. I trust them. So you need another 49. Maybe one could have a nose ring and, I don't know - the other could have a unicorn horn? Or be a unicorn? Or a Hutticorn. 14.5. Hutticorns Add Hutticorns to the game. 15. Space I want to be able to constantly switch ships. Not because I want variety in space, but because I'm trying to ditch that stupid golden robot that won't shut up every time I walk by him to make out with that girl companion that has the hots for me. He should shut up. Every time he talks to me I feel like punching a robot. A gold one. But I can't. Because he's green. And gold. Let me switch ships so he doesn't know which one to get on. 16. Potatoes This game needs them. A patch of them. Or their space equivalent. In a patch. The potato patch. 1.3.2.9 I LOVE potatoes - but I can't find any... Skyrim has potatoes and that has a 94 on metacritic. I'm pretty sure metacritic is the best source for unbiased reviews anywhere. Except when it comes to all of the WoW gold farmers down-voting SWTOR because space credits are tougher to farm than WoW-Gold. Add WoW-Gold. They did a good job with that. Gold. It'll bring farmers. Farmers will bring potatoes. 3rd reference. 17. Banthas They're big, ugly, and should be smaller. Except the one you give me as a mount. That should be the biggest. I want it. Yesterday. 18. My life This game was supposed to replace at least 8 hours a day of my real life. Right now it's replacing <at best> 7.5 hours a day. That last half hour has been going to things like walking my dog, talking to my girlfriend about her day, calling my family to see how THEY'RE doing (I capitalized 'they're' for emphasis.).), personal hobbies like writing and reading books. Simply put - false advertising. I KNOW (emphasis) I saw it in a Facebook ad somewhere "Replace 8 hours of your real life with Star Wars!! And win every PvP match you play in Hutticorn Ball! Orange slices!". False. 19. More stuff for my list I can't think of anything else right now, so I want you to add more content so my complaints list can get longer. It's kind of important. It's a status thing. Ye who shouts the loudest... And. Without this list, I'll have to go back to work or wait until I get home to play the game. I hope you read every bit of that. Twice. Or more. Or made your interns read it twice TO you. I'm going to be monitoring this post for 30 second bursts every 15 seconds. I expect an itemized reply from at least 1 - 15 developers in the next hour with no less than an "on it!" or "yes sir". See below: "Your List: 1. On it! 2. You got it! 3. Great suggestion, definitely implementing this in the next patch scheduled to go live in an hour!! (Who needs QA?!?!) ;D 4. Smugglers are way OP! What were we thinking?!? We fired all of us involved right before making your change (unless you're playing one and then, yes, we buffed them)." All of this will also be on all of your final exams. And midterms. And employee self examinations under the "miscellaneous comments" section. Not in this specific order. But on it. Nonetheless. Warning to impending flamers: <Flamesuit><Flameproof Bunker><Anti-flame nukes armed><Flamey flamey flame flame> -- Signature <Rank> <First Name from a character I read about in a book> <Last Name I made up> <Guild Nobody's Ever Heard of>+<broken url> {3-frame-animated-dramatic-shot-of-my-character-looking-pensively-toward-screen-right-+-wookie-yelling.GIF} "Funny or serious line speaking to the character of my main in-game character, not the character of my posts." - Jedi no one's ever heard of ~"_--_-random symmetrical flourish-_--_"~ Poop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slugkeg Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Best post I've read since joining the forums. Brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHeadCapper Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Good laugh, thanks!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain_Failure Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 As a man wiser than me once said, "I c wut u did thar" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanthersSolo Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gileam Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Hey you left off the rant about rest xp and how it is totally game breaking and should be removed. Oh and lets see, How Bioware is not supporting the users by not allowing them to see things in like 4D and how we can not smell the scenery using our virtual reality gear. I can say this. Atleast they didnt nerf the melons in the first patch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeMoneyBig Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 good stuff. Too bad it will get lost in all the POS threads in this forum... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paralassa Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) Hi there! We appreciate your feedback; however, there are existing threads for suggestions/bugs. You may want to check out the bug and suggestion compilation threads made by the community, which are being regularly looked at by our developers and provide a fantastic outlet for you to post constructive feedback. We have closed this thread and ask that you use the ones linked for any further discussion. Thank you! Edited January 14, 2012 by Paralassa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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