Jump to content

Luke's Plan To Rescue Han...

Vecke

By Vecke
in STAR WARS Discussion

 Share

Recommended Posts

Vecke

Vecke

Posted
Posted (edited)

Really, this had to be the worst plan in the history of the galaxy. The fact that it worked is proof enough that Luke had fate on his side.

 

Luke: "Okay, first, Lando, you get a job working for Jabba."

 

Lando: "Huh?"

 

Luke: "Then I'll send in the droids, and I'll give them to Jabba as gifts and ask Jabba to bargain for Han."

 

Lando: "Why?"

 

Luke: "So Artoo will get assigned to the sail barge, serving drinks.."

 

Leia: "How do you know that'll happen? He's an astromech, designed to do technical work. You're banking a lot on the hope that they won't properly use his abilities."

 

Luke: "Then Leia, you go in disguised as a bounty hunter and sell Chewie to Jabba."

 

Leia: "Wait. What?"

 

Luke: "Then you have to try to rescue Han. But it's VERY important that you fail in your attempt, because if you succeed, Jabba will then have Chewie and both the droids, and he'll have the droids legally, because I'll have given them to him as gifts. We don't want that. Now, there's a chance that Jabba might... do things to you... Just go with it."

 

Leia: "I don't like this plan."

 

Luke: "Don't worry, I'll come in next and ask Jabba to bargain. When he refuses to bargain--"

 

Lando: "What if he chooses to bargain?"

 

Luke: "He won't."

 

Lando: "But what if he does? I mean, you're a jedi. If he says, 'okay, you can have Han. These droids are awesome,' your whole plan kind of falls apart."

 

Luke: "He won't, okay! Gosh! When he REFUSES to bargain, I'll try to shoot him, but I'll fail, because if I succeed, I'll just get shot down by the hundred thugs in the room. So I'll fail and he'll drop me into the Rancor pit. Then I'll kill the rancor and Jabba will decide to take us all out into the desert."

 

Leia: "What if he just decides to execute everyone on the spot?"

 

Luke: "He won't! Gosh! I'm the Jedi here! He'll take us into the desert. Once we're out in the desert, Lando will get assigned to my skiff--"

 

Lando: "He's got several skiffs. How will I get assigned to yours?"

 

Luke: "*sigh* Then, Artoo will shoot my lightsaber to me, while Leia chokes Jabba."

 

Leia: "How?"

 

Luke: "OBVIOUSLY with the chain he'll have around your neck. Jeeze, Leia. Think before you ask a question."

 

Leia: "What the hell, man."

 

Luke: "THEN we'll blow up his barge and kill them all and escape!"

 

Lando: "Kind of an odd solution for a jedi. Honestly, kid, I don't like this plan."

 

Leia: "You know, there's about a million ways this could go wrong, and only one very specific way it could go right."

 

Luke: "I'M THE JEDI!"

 

Leia: "Besides, if we're just going to blow him up anyway, we have access to an entire army. We could just pay him off or just go in with a thousand troops and kill them all that way."

 

Luke: "I spent a lot of time on this plan, okay! I even drew maps and used my miniatures!"

 

Lando: "Is this entire plan just a ploy to get Leia in one of Jabba's slave girl outfits?"

 

Luke: "NO! ... Yes. I mean, it's not like she's my sister or something."

 

Lando:"Okay, I'm in."

 

Leia: "What?"

 

Luke: "Nothing. This will work. Trust me..."

Edited by Vecke
Link to comment
Share on other sites
brynjulv

brynjulv

Posted
Posted (edited)

This was awesome.

 

Really, the plots in the original movies are weak. The actors' deliverie are similarly lackluster. The reason why we still hold them up as paragons of sci-fi filmmaking is all nostalgia.

 

Edit: Of course, that's not saying that the prequels are any better. Brrr.

Edited by brynjulv
Link to comment
Share on other sites
jarjarloves

jarjarloves

Posted
Posted
This was awesome.

 

Really, the plots in the original movies are weak. The actors' deliverie are similarly lackluster. The reason why we still hold them up as paragons of sci-fi filmmaking is all nostalgia.

 

Edit: Of course, that's not saying that the prequels are any better. Brrr.

 

not like the prequel plots are better but my favorite is the plot of RoTJ is

 

"Hey remember the Death Star? Well we made a new one and it's bigger oh and remember how you destroyed it last time? Well now we got an even LARGER hole. It's so big you could fly a large transport ship into it and it leads straight to the reactor core"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cleola

Cleola

Posted
Posted

Wow, when you put it that way, yeah it looks bad. Most characters in movies have plans that are conceived for screenplay reasons rather than practical reasons.

 

This was probably as far as they thought through:

 

1. Introduce the audience to the droids first, who provide expository dialogue to the audience as well as comedic banter.

 

2. By having the relatively weak droids meet Jabba first, we get the opportunity for exposition by having the droids be bullied around by Jabba and his thugs.

 

3. Of the other main characters, we're introduced to Luke and Han next, who are arguably more important than the others.

 

4. We see the dancing girl get eaten by the rancor while Jabba and his

crew cheer on, defining a clear villain for the opening scene.

 

5. Lando working at Jabba's palace, and Leia's ill-fated bargain for Han with Chewie, while contrived, solve the problem of having to introduce all of the main characters early on for people who haven't see the other two films.

 

6. Also, having Leia captured adds the Damsel-In-Distress element to Luke's rescue and helps establish to the audience that Luke and Han aren't gay and like women.

 

7. Since Luke, Leia, Lando, and Han are all wearing new outfits, we can

sell new action figures for each of them. Also, since R2 shot the light

sabre to Luke, we can sell a new R2D2 action figure where he has a pop-up

light sabre.

 

8. The End!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Vecke

Vecke

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Thats completely wrong, should I explain it?

 

You can explain if you want, but to be honest, my OP wasn't intended to spark spirited debate. I was just having a little fun.

 

I've read plenty of EU stuff that covered Luke's plan, but really, it was just trying to make sense out of something that - in the movie - was a pretty craptastic plan.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hanscholo

Hanscholo

Posted
Posted
Really, this had to be the worst plan in the history of the galaxy. The fact that it worked is proof enough that Luke had fate on his side.

 

Luke: "Okay, first, Lando, you get a job working for Jabba."

 

Lando: "Huh?"

 

Luke: "Then I'll send in the droids, and I'll give them to Jabba as gifts and ask Jabba to bargain for Han."

 

Lando: "Why?"

 

Luke: "So Artoo will get assigned to the sail barge, serving drinks.."

 

Leia: "How do you know that'll happen? He's an astromech, designed to do technical work. You're banking a lot on the hope that they won't properly use his abilities."

 

Luke: "Then Leia, you go in disguised as a bounty hunter and sell Chewie to Jabba."

 

Leia: "Wait. What?"

 

Luke: "Then you have to try to rescue Han. But it's VERY important that you fail in your attempt, because if you succeed, Jabba will then have Chewie and both the droids, and he'll have the droids legally, because I'll have given them to him as gifts. We don't want that. Now, there's a chance that Jabba might... do things to you... Just go with it."

 

Leia: "I don't like this plan."

 

Luke: "Don't worry, I'll come in next and ask Jabba to bargain. When he refuses to bargain--"

 

Lando: "What if he chooses to bargain?"

 

Luke: "He won't."

 

Lando: "But what if he does? I mean, you're a jedi. If he says, 'okay, you can have Han. These droids are awesome,' your whole plan kind of falls apart."

 

Luke: "He won't, okay! Gosh! When he REFUSES to bargain, I'll try to shoot him, but I'll fail, because if I succeed, I'll just get shot down by the hundred thugs in the room. So I'll fail and he'll drop me into the Rancor pit. Then I'll kill the rancor and Jabba will decide to take us all out into the desert."

 

Leia: "What if he just decides to execute everyone on the spot?"

 

Luke: "He won't! Gosh! I'm the Jedi here! He'll take us into the desert. Once we're out in the desert, Lando will get assigned to my skiff--"

 

Lando: "He's got several skiffs. How will I get assigned to yours?"

 

Luke: "*sigh* Then, Artoo will shoot my lightsaber to me, while Leia chokes Jabba."

 

Leia: "How?"

 

Luke: "OBVIOUSLY with the chain he'll have around your neck. Jeeze, Leia. Think before you ask a question."

 

Leia: "What the hell, man."

 

Luke: "THEN we'll blow up his barge and kill them all and escape!"

 

Lando: "Kind of an odd solution for a jedi. Honestly, kid, I don't like this plan."

 

Leia: "You know, there's about a million ways this could go wrong, and only one very specific way it could go right."

 

Luke: "I'M THE JEDI!"

 

Leia: "Besides, if we're just going to blow him up anyway, we have access to an entire army. We could just pay him off or just go in with a thousand troops and kill them all that way."

 

Luke: "I spent a lot of time on this plan, okay! I even drew maps and used my miniatures!"

 

Lando: "Is this entire plan just a ploy to get Leia in one of Jabba's slave girl outfits?"

 

Luke: "NO! ... Yes. I mean, it's not like she's my sister or something."

 

Lando:"Okay, I'm in."

 

Leia: "What?"

 

Luke: "Nothing. This will work. Trust me..."

 

Its a George Lucas plan...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...