A/N: I said at the start that all companions are canonically alive at the start of this series. That wasn’t true. Lord Scourge died during the Helicarrier Chronicles. Part 3-45. In which awkward adjustments are made This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan Rishi questline. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. A dress-up in fanciest dress Reduces a long day’s distress. So hey, what the hell, Accessorize well: At least you’ll look good in this mess. Sixteen pirate hats, one monkey-lizard, four capes, two eyepatches, one peg leg (“in case you change your mind”), and a few hefty measures of local rum later, Nalenne, Rho, what crew they had brought, and their soldiers met up outside an alley on the port town’s boardwalk. “Hey,” said Pierce. “This eyepatch feeds into a digital HUD with targeting information. I think I could slice it to work with my rifle.” “TMI, big guy,” said Vette. “Just saying. I like the look, too.” “Good to return to the ship as a genuine Red Skull?” said Nalenne. Pierce grinned and strutted away. Broonmark’s fur reasserted its normal orientation. The outsized pirate hat was flung up a few inches and fluttered down to hang lopsidedly off the Talz’s ear tuft. “All you guys have to do,” said Nalenne, “is wait here and eat anybody who messes with you.” “Master, the eating people doesn’t happen until all three of you are in one place,” Jaesa said primly. “No, that’s the unholy orgies of eating people. Just regular eating people can happen at any time.” Quinn, whose frown was multiple minutes in the making, finally opened his mouth. “My lord, just what were you doing in my absence?” “Come along and find out!” said Nalenne. “Sergeant,” cautioned Rho, “we’re not starting a shooting war with Insanity Company.” The silent Chagrian finally manifested a facial expression, and it wasn’t a happy one. “What if they shoot first?” “They won’t, because we’re working together for the greater good,” Rho told Nalenne. “Fine.” Nalenne looked to her soldiers. “Don’t shoot him until we’ve found out how much trouble we’re in on this planet.” “What if we have a reasonable estimate?” said Ensign Rylon. “No,” said Nalenne. Doc, having finished cocking his hat at precisely the right angle, coughed. “Any time you want to move on to a planet where we’re not working with a small convention of psychotic killers would be A-OK with me, boss.” Rho leaned toward Lieutenant Hareth and scratched the monkey-lizard on her shoulder between the ears. “I think this is a historic opportunity to collaborate without regard to political lines,” he said. Doc gulped. “I’m not ready to be history just yet.” Nalenne scowled. “Honestly. Vette? Keep the peace.” “Yarr,” said Vette from beneath a tricorn hat that might make a creditable boat in its own right. “Me hearties are all gonna play nice unless’n they want te walk the plank.” She looked at the boardwalk beneath her boots. “Planks.” “Good enough,” said Nalenne, and she, Quinn, Jaesa, Rho, Kira, and HK-51 strode into the alleyway.

I adore Rusk as a character. I think he gets little love in a lot of scenarios and sadly apart from the Nalenne vs. Rho battle royale I've never really made the time to use him. But yeah, as far as Nalenne's concerned? Boring Republic Goon #1851153.

Mm, that was a great conversation.

Ah, fanfic, the refuge of the Internet-connected and bored... Part 3-44. In which Nalenne and Rho prepare for the unknown This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan Rishi questline. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. Dissimilar folk drawing nigh May find enmity running high. When gathered together, These birds’ different feather Can make it much harder to fly. “Here we are,” said Rho. “Coordinates and everything.” “We’re not going in alone,” said Nalenne. “Why, that’s an excellent idea. Let’s bring our crews in.” “‘Our’? Do you actually have friends here?” They were trying to fix the Defender after a misunderstanding with some local ion cannons. I’ll call them.” “Fine. Tell ‘em to meet – I sent Insanity Company to find a safe place to stay. Why don’t we go inform them they’re pirates now while we’re waiting for your crew to arrive?” “Don’t we want to talk to the person who started the pirates rumor before we jump into the full impersonation act?” Nalenne thought about it. Briefly. “No. Come on, I’ll call the company.” They met in a stifling side-room in the Blaster’s Path cantina. The officership of Insanity Company were all in full uniform, tropical climate be damned. They stood to attention when Nalenne walked in. And behind her… “It’s the Hero of Tython!” In the time it took Captain Pandorr to say it, Captain Rutau and Lieutenant Ritter had already fired three blaster bolts each. Rho whirled his saber out and deflected all six without looking particularly bothered. “We’re keeping Rho for now,” Nalenne explained, thinking fast. “He’s bait.” “Bait for…what, exactly?” said Rutau. “Yes, what?” muttered Rho. “That’s not important.” “Query: Master, may I eliminate these undesirables now?” “No,” said Rho. “We need to learn to work together.” “Why,” Pandorr said flatly. “Bigger fish to fry,” Nalenne said glibly. “Here’s the word. Someone spread word that Rho, Nis, and I head up the Red Trulls.” “What?” said someone from the doorway. “Hulls,” groaned Rho, covering his face. “Hi, Kira,” said Jaesa. “It’s a Jedi!” In the time it took Pandorr to say it, Lieutenant Hareth and Ensign Rylon had already fired three blaster bolts each. Rho and Kira deftly deflected. “Can we please have a cease-fire long enough for me to finish a sentence?” said Nalenne. “You tell ‘em,” Jaesa said. “I didn’t say we were making friends with them,” said Nalenne. “Come on in, Kira. Doc. What’s-his-name. We were just discussing the fact that we’re the baddest pirates in all the galaxy. Well, we’re going to use that. It’ll be a lark.” Vette shook herself. “Wait, this is fun now?” “Sure! We’ll have the worst of the worst wetting themselves in terror because we might eat them! It’ll be great!” “Uh, Rho?” said Kira. “The whole town has already decided I’m a pirate cannibal,” said Rho. “I don’t see what else we could do. Except, maybe…” he got a lot more diffident… “we could get hats?” “Pirate hats? Find me one that fits and I’ll sign up,” said Vette. Jaesa spoke up. “Master, shouldn’t we find out who started these rumors before we–” “Take control of them? Not at all. I think it’ll be fun.” “So we’re going to be the Red Hulls,” said Rutau. “But we’re still working for the Empire?” “Of course we are,” said Nalenne. Rho made a small sad noise. “We’re working for the greater good as long as that means the Empire,” clarified Nalenne in what she hoped was a conciliatory tone. What’s-his-name growled. but Rho nodded grudging agreement. “We are getting the hats, though, right?” “Of course we’re getting hats,” Nalenne said graciously. “Let’s go do that. And then practice being fearsome pirates.” “I am not switching out my leg,” Rutau said loudly. “Yeah,” said Ritter, “but you’re still getting a monkey-lizard.” “They’re tetchy about those here,” warned Nalenne. “Let’s go.”

Part 3-43. In which Nalenne and Rho check holo records This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan Rishi questline. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. When public relations are strained, You may find your actions constrained. The troubled relations And grim expectations May leave your good name (sort of) stained. “Have you heard about the Red Hulls? Their unholy triad is coming to Rishi, so watch out!” Nalenne looked at Rho. Rho looked at Nalenne. The bipedal droid sauntered past, its optical sensor scanning the boardwalk with every suggestion of enjoyment despite the local rabble. “We’ve got the droids mad?” mouthed Nalenne. “I don’t know,” said Rho. “You do have a way with droids, though.” “Ugh. That’s the closest thing to a low blow I’ve ever heard you deliver.” The crew, those that were there, was crowded around a public data terminal. Nalenne hooked up the hard-won datapad and pulled the contents up for view. “Holo records,” said Nalenne. “Yes,” said Rho. “Where’s Quinn?” said Nalenne. “We sent him back to the ship,” said Vette. “He was sneezing? And complaining about the health and building codes on the docks.” “Go get him,” said Nalenne. “I can go through this,” said Rho. “It shouldn’t take long.” “You’re actually willing to spend your time digging through an entire datapad’s worth of boringite, with or without revanite inclusions.” “Someone has to do it. Why not me?” “Do you not have the slightest delusions of importance? I thought they trained Jedi to be too good for everything!” “A Jedi’s life is service,” said Rho. “Look, a contact named ‘Mystery Woman.’ That sounds odd enough to be ours.” “It can’t be. I wasn’t done complaining about the indignity of looking for it.” Rho pushed a button. Two figures showed up: a man, and a woman in a masked hood that left everything to the imagination paired with fitted clothes that left very little to the imagination. “Kai Zykken, greetings,” said the masked figure standing opposite the punchworthy pirate. Her voice was heavy with artificial modulation. The man, Kai Zykken, simpered. “Well, he looks like someone I’d like to punch,” muttered Nalenne. Rho was silent. Nalenne had the overwhelming impression that this was tact speaking. “I speak to you now to deliver a warning,” continued the masked figure. “The Red Hulls are one of the galaxy’s most feared pirate associations. They have just now set their sights on Rishi. As you know, the Corellian Run Scoundrels owe the Red Hulls a great many credits. There is no telling what will happen when you are discovered.” “Did she just Force wave?” said Nalenne. “I think she just Force waved,” Rho said glumly. “I suggest you herald the gang’s arrival to draw unwanted attention onto them,” continued the woman. “I’m dispatching droids across Raider’s Cove to do the same. Or you could do nothing and suffer the consequences. The choice is yours.” The call blinked out. “So how are you at identifying women by their cup size?” said Nalenne. “Because that’s the only identifying information I could really get from that recording.” “!!” said Rho. “Just asking. Jeez. I guess ‘ID by *ss’ is also out of the question.” “Why don’t we investigate those droids?” Rho said in a strangled voice. “One passed by just as we were starting this.” “Right, then. Droid!” Nalenne bounded away from the holoterminal. “Droid! I swear sometimes I try not to let these things escalate with your kind, but…” She made a low lightsaber swing and flung it after the retreating droid, knocking both its legs out from under it. “I thought you weren’t escalating!” said Rho. “I wasn’t. Quite the opposite, it’s lower than ever.” The droid swiveled to face Nalenne and Rho was they walked up, companions in tow. “Greetings to you!” it said cheerfully. “Would you like to hear a true story about the legendary Red Hulls?” “Oh,” said Nalenne, “do tell.” The droid’s forward LEDs flashed and blinked. “Oh – I beg your pardon! I didn’t realize it was you! Two out of the three! That’s almost enough for the cannibalistic orgies to start! How exciting! Such a pleasure to make your acquaintance!” “It’s nice to meet you, too,” Rho said politely. “Oh, indeed! My master did not prepare me for the sheer measure of awe I would be required to process! Why, in the time since your arrival you have already defeated the illustrious Gorro and Grumm, brought fear to the Corellian Run Scoundrels and Carida Corsairs…” “…What?” Rho said defensively. “I was trying to have a polite conversation. With about fifteen people in quick succession.” “Clarification: Matters took a turn for the violent. Fifteen times in glorious succession.” “Yes,” groaned Rho, “thank you, HK.” Nalenne made a token effort to stifle her grin. It fooled no one. “Even the Nova Blades have taken notice of you!” burbled the droid. “My master would be most impressed!” “Yes, about that,” said Nalenne. “I want to know who has you broadcasting these stories about me. Give me a name.” “You may direct any and all questions to my master, as I have been authorized to arrange an introduction.” “Yes,” said Rho, “do.”

Rho will get his chance to shine, I promise. Just...not during the cannibalistic piracy phase of his relationship. Thanks for reading!

It kills me to see a Trooper who doesn't adore Forex. I mean, what's not to love? Apart from him being completely crazy. Jorgan is a treasure, as always.

Part 3-42. In which Nalenne and Rho seek a plot device This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan Rishi questline. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. When seeking a criminal chum, Don’t let pet selection be dumb. A pirate, a parrot, The pairing’s got merit - Just watch for the droppings therefrom. “Hands off the monkey-lizard!” “Did it hand you a datapad in the last half-hour?” “Shove off, baldy!” “Oh, that was the wrong thing to say.” Nalenne raised one hand and focused on a Force choke on the grizzled pirate. “Did. You get. A datapad. Flail for yes, go limp for no.” Gagging, the pirate made what appeared to be a titanic attempt to stay still. “There now. That wasn’t so bad.” She let her hand fall and the pirate slammed to his chair, clutching his throat. “Red Bulls.” “Hulls,” corrected Rho. “Red Hulls. Spread the word.” Nalenne moved on. “There has to be a better way to do this,” said Rho. “Then why don’t you run along and find it?” Nalenne gestured down the boardwalk with its hodgepodge of storefronts and liberal sprinkling of sidewalk tables. “I’ll just keep working here.” “Excuse me, sir,” said Rho, “did your monkey-lizard–” “Pike off,” growled the lady pirate. Nalenne watched. When Rho looked at her she raised her eyebrows expectantly. “Er, please?” essayed Rho. “Where’s our fearsome reputation when we need it?” said Nalenne. “Come on, let’s try the next one. Hey, you! The Red Skulls–” “Hulls–” coughed Rho– “–the Red Hulls want a datapad! Did your monkey-lizard take it?” The Nikto heaved to his feet. “What if ‘e did?” he rumbled. “Then I’m going to take it back,” said Nalenne. “And probably eat you and all your little friends, too.” The Nikto backed down. “Whoa. Let’s not get crazy here.” “Didn’t think so,” she said, with satisfaction. “All right, next!” They wended their way down the boardwalk, accosting everyone with a monkey lizard and some without, Rho looking increasingly green as she went – and, correspondingly, Nalenne getting increasingly red. “GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONKEY-LIZARDS,” she howled at the last table of pirates. “OR BE EATEN, MESSILY.” The pirates exchanged looks. “Hey, Dev,” said one. “Think this is about that datapad?” “Yes!” Rho said relievedly. “Yes, it is! Would you please hand it over?” “How much are you willing to give for such a nice outcome?” oozed the pirate. “Well, I–” “How about your life, for starters,” snarled Nalenne, and raised another Force choke. “Red Hulls forever!” “At least you got our name right,” muttered Rho. “Is this really necessary?” “It’s simple. If they like him, just one little squeeze is necessary. If they don’t, I’ll have to kill him and then start on the next guy.” She smiled. With teeth. One of the pirates leaned forward, frowning. “Uh, which next guy, exactly? Just out of curiosity.” Still holding one hand aloft to crush the unfortunate first pirate’s throat, Nalenne made a show of counting off between the other two. “Hmm, eenie, meenie, miney, moe, catch tuk’ata by the toe, spin him ‘round and let him go…oh, who am I kidding, you.” She pointed at the pirate who had spoken up. Said pirate’s Adam’s apple waggled up and down several times before he managed to speak. “Here you go,” he said, and grabbed something beneath the table, and offered Nalenne a datapad. “Good boy.” Nalenne let her hand fall. The choked pirate fell forward on the table, gasping. “Red Hulls. Don’t forget it.”

Part 3-41. In which a reunion occurs This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan Rishi questline. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. This story contains very minor spoilers for the HK-51 acquisition questline. I start taking liberties pretty early in this storyline. There once was an android assassin On targets galore he would fasten. One shot to one kill Was his ratio; still, His social skills barely were passin’. Nalenne, Rho, Jaesa, and Vette stood amidst the splinters of a former wall. People on the boardwalk were giving them a wide berth, as well they might since the announcement that Rho and Nalenne were leaders of the cannibalistic Red Hull pirates. Nalenne was feeling pretty good about things so far. And then the upper edge of the jagged hole in the wall was knocked out of place by a gleaming durasteel head. The head was attached to a body. The body was attached to a truly improbably long sniper rifle. The droid spoke. "Observation: That fight could have gone much more smoothly with the early and emphatic application of superior firepower. Such as mine." "You have an HK series?" said Nalenne, suddenly rapt. "You know what an HK series is?" said Rho, suddenly worried. "HK-47! Hero of Dantooine! Unless you were the locals, I guess. Revan's right-hand droid! There’s a whole spinoff series about him! Of course I recognize an HK!" She checked herself. "Wait. What are you doing with one?" "It's a long story," said Rho. "Very long. With lots of walking in slow circles. But he's been a great force for good since I met him." "Statement: I have eliminated many undesirables in the master's service," said the droid. "Passive-aggressive coda: not as many as I had the opportunity for." “Do you have a brother?” said Nalenne. “No,” Rho said hurriedly. HK-51 said something, not as loudly, followed by “Correction: Master, you cannot disable my vocabulator by Force pushing on my mouth.” “I was just telling Nalenne ‘no,’” said Rho. His green eyes spoke desperation. “Now. I was close to solving the mystery of who’s been spreading these rumors about us. There’s a holocall with a local pirate who was ‘tipped off’ to our coming. It’s stored on a datapad. But when I went to retrieve the datapad…” “Supplementary information: A monkey-lizard stole it,” said HK-51. “I regret that I did not get a shot off in time.” “Our sole lead on the maniac that’s been dragging us into this bizarro world, and you let a monkey-lizard take it?” “He was really fast,” Rho said miserably. “So we have to find a monkey-lizard with a datapad in all…” she gestured around… “this?” “It’s supposed to have a tracker on it,” said Rho. “That can narrow it down to the street at least.” “Suggestion: I can clear the street once we have identified it.” “That won’t be necessary,” said Rho. “Don’t be so sure,” said Nalenne.

Oh, ow. <3

Unlike the level 1-50 planets or Makeb, SOR is one story with slight flavoring differences. I can't imagine the Imperial and Republic stories running truly in parallel unless Lana and Theron spend 80% of their time dashing from one safehouse to another briefing unsuspecting Imperial and Republic groups to do the same work twice. Which, come to think of it, might've been kind of entertaining. I'm struggling with Rho's crew specifically but I have an idea to go forward with. The Red Hulls have a bright future.

Part 3-40. In which landfall on a new world happens This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan Rishi questline. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. I start taking liberties pretty early in this storyline. A planet called Rishi ahoy! A visit there’s always a joy. But of course, it’s assumed Anonymity’s doomed – Good luck with your rep, boy oh boy. Darkness. It splashed into Nalenne’s consciousness like someone spilling their drink all over her. A tiny galaxy, and within it a hungering dark that expanded as she watched, gripping, chilling, ultimately swallowing. She forced herself out of the meditation. “This is why I don’t stop to think,” she muttered testily. It took only a little research to find the location: Rishi, near the dwarf galaxy Rishi Maze. When Broonmark mentioned getting spam mail from Rishi investors Nalenne knew she had the right place. So she laid in a course. Rutau found her on the bridge with Quinn. “My lord!” He gave the friendly wave that had somehow managed to replace saluting in some circumstances. “Off to find some enemies of the Empire?” “If we don’t find some we can make some,” she hedged. “Will that do?” “Good enough for me.” He peered out the window at the dwarf galaxy, which looked considerably more than dwarf at this range. “Are we going in there?” “Not yet. Quinn, take us down.” There was no intelligible traffic control as such. Quinn made some effort to negotiate a landing pad, only to throw up his hands and mutter “I don’t speak anarchist.” Nalenne went to find Vette, who glibly talked her way down, only spending a small fortune out of Nalenne’s accounts, onto a rickety-looking landing pad in the midst of a bustling port. Nalenne led the way down the gangplank. There was activity, most of it unhygienic-looking, in every direction. She turned to Captain Rutau. “You and the rest of the company. Find me someplace secure to stay,” she said. The officers saluted and moved out. Nalenne shed crew members as she walked down the wooden boardwalks of this seaside town on the pirate haven of Rishi. Broonmark noticed a fungus on the docks and begged leave to study it. Pierce managed to find an arms dealer inside of three minutes. Quinn had an allergic reaction to something unspecified and retreated to the safe Imperial confines of the ship. Nalenne, Vette, and Jaesa stuck together, giving about as many goggle-eyed stares as they got. Every time Nalenne put her hand to her lightsaber the staring locals suddenly found something else to be interested in. It made the walk amusing, at least. And then a brawl exploded out of a previously solid-looking wooden wall to one side. As Nalenne watched, bemused, a Whiphid roughly the size of a landspeeder rolled over and over a comparatively tiny humanoid form. “I don’t want to hurt you,” insisted a warm, velvety, if strained voice. “Rho?” said Nalenne. “Shut up and die,” roared the Whiphid. “What happened to your lightsaber?” said Nalenne. “Sorry, not the best time,” panted Rho. “Murderer!” yelled the Whiphid. Rho punched him in the face, wincing at the impact. “Please, listen,” he grunted, taking a hard hit to the midsection. “This is ridiculous,” said Nalenne. “You know that, right?” Rho grunted again and rolled away. The Whiphid followed. “Master, can’t you do something?” said Jaesa, wide-eyed. “I’m probably going to regret this,” said Nalenne. She drew her saber, closed the distance, and dispatched the Whiphid with one efficient stroke, leaving Rho unscathed. The Mirialan Jedi sat up, dusting off the sleeves of his off-white robes. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said. “I really think I was getting through to him.” “Getting through to his teeth, maybe,” said Nalenne. “What the hell are you doing here?” “Getting into fights, I’m afraid,” said Rho. “Aw. I’m almost proud of you.” He made a face. “It’s been terrible.” That’s when Nalenne realized that they had attracted a crowd. A more disreputable assemblage of bruisers and scarecrows she had never seen, even in her school days on Korriban. There were scar-faced Humans and brawny Nikto, close-clumped Gand and mountainous Houks, furtive Rodians and one particularly lost-looking Ithorian. They stared openly, those that had traceable eyeballs, and those that didn’t were probably staring as well. And they were talking among themselves. One phrase came up above all others in an excited chorus: "The Red Hulls!" "The who?" said Nalenne to a birdlike biped that seemed to be standing alone. He looked to either side, seemed to realize she was talking to him, and jumped. "You're the dread lords of the Red Hulls! Two out of three! Where's the other one?" "The other what?" "Your twin!" "How do you know about my twin?" “Lucky guess?” suggested Vette. "Everyone's talking about you! Oh, boy! The unholy orgies of cannibalism never start until all three leaders are in one place!" "The...what?" Rho made an unhappy face. "They've been talking like this ever since I landed," he said apologetically. "How am I a cannibal?" said Nalenne. "Have you ever bitten a Pureblood? I have. It's terrible." "Spoken like a true bloodthirsty pirate," opined the bird-man. “I hate to waste a perfectly good reputation of terror,” said Nalenne to Rho. “Master?” Jaesa said nervously. “It might net us something.” Nalenne cleared her throat. "Listen up! The Red Gulls-" "Hulls," muttered Rho. "The Red Hulls are moving in to make ourselves comfortable. Cooperate if you know what's good for you. And if you don't...well, I've hardly killed anyone this week. I'm getting...hungry." "Lord Nalenne!" said Rho. "What? They're lapping it up." He looked a little green. More so than usual. "Aw. Can't stomach a little posturing?" "I think I'm going to be sick," he muttered. "I can see this conversation's not to your taste." She flashed her teeth, then turned to the crowd. "Get gone before I get peckish."

Part 3-39. In which Nalenne and Quinn collect Here is a special long chapter (2600 words!), set before SoR starts, and relevant to nothing in SoR whatsoever. This story contains the names and broad caricatures of characters found in the Jedi Knight Belsavis, Sith Warrior Balmorra, Imperial Hoth, and Imperial Taris. It also contains a reference to the Trooper Taris and Republic Belsavis. A duty they won't ever shirk: Despite all the ethic to work, When put to the test, The best of the best May have certain - well, call 'em quirks. “What do you mean, Captain Rutau isn’t there?” said Quinn. “This is the Method, is it not?” “Yes, sir. It’s in space dock, sir, pending reassignment.” “But then where did Insanity Company go?” “I’m not sure, sir. It just showed up like this. Sorry, sir.” “Just. Showed. Up. Lieutenant, if you haven’t figured out how to read off a ship’s navicomputer records by the time I call back I will personally see you court martialed into the airlock and then out the other side. Do I make myself clear?” “Y-yes, sir. Whoever you are. Sir.” Quinn spent a moment smoldering in what appeared to be the painful process of deciding what extreme measure to take next. Nalenne finally got up from her comics and leaned in. “General Malavai Quinn, personal attaché to the Emperor’s Wrath. Do try to remember that for next time.” “Y-yes, ma’am-my, er, my lord, sir. Yessir.” The wild-eyed lieutenant appeared to be making an effort at sinking through the floor. “Um.” The holocall cut short. “Dismissed.” Quinn glowered at the empty space. “What was that all about?” said Vette. “Insanity Company is no longer on board the Method,” said Quinn through gritted teeth. “My unit is missing.” “Who would want to get rid of Insanity Company?” said Nalenne. Vette stated counting off. “Apart from the Republic, the Hutt Cartel, the Jedi, House Organa, The Bounty Hunters’ Guild, the Bartavian Children’s Choir, the–” “Revanites,” said Quinn. “Everything associated with our raid on Rakata Prime was blacklisted somehow. Except the people closest to you. The Revanites cannot yet face the Wrath or her personal staff. Outlying properties, however…” Nalenne frowned. “You think the Revanites blackballed them?” “Anything to sap our influence, my lord.” “Hey, after Korriban I’d say Insanity Company has earned a part in whatever cult demolishing we do. But to do that they have to be together.” Nalenne switched the comics display off. “They’re all right, aren’t they?” “Of course they are,” snapped Quinn. “The only question is which one of our enemies they’re ruining right now. I prefer to know, being that I am their commanding officer.” “Well, then,” said Nalenne. “What are we waiting for?” * Lana Beniko and Theron Shan driven into hiding. Rho back in goody two-shoes land. Niselle locked up in Dark Council business, probably, who really wanted to know? Insanity Company…gone. Vanished. Their mothership returned to regular Imperial service with only a transfer notice and a maintenance droid. “Captain Rutau,” Quinn said distinctly to a droid stationed on Dromund Kaas. “Lately of Insanity Company. Previous service in the Fifth Infantry on Balmorra. May have been recently reassigned.” “I have no staff corresponding to that name,” said the droid in a crisp soprano. “Including in the casualty rolls?” A thoughtful pause. “Including among casualties. Can I answer another inquiry?” Quinn balled his fists. “Standing inquiry. Any time an Imperial soldier with an artificial leg goes in to get his leg replaced, again, you will notify me of the name, rank, and location. Is that quite clear?” “Quite clear. Can I answer another inquiry?” “Lieutenant Ritter. Lately of Insanity Company. Previous service on Hoth. May have been recently reassigned.” “I have no staff corresponding to that name,” said the droid. “He had medical attention about seven years ago for an extensive facial wound that left three long scars. He refused to file for reimbursement on off-planet treatment because, I quote, ‘only an idiot would’ve gotten hit there, I had it coming.’” “If he didn’t report the medical attention I would have no record of this incident,” the droid said reasonably. “Can I answer another inquiry?” “Another? I’m still trying to get you to answer one.” Quinn pressed his hands to his eyes and dragged down his face. “Standing inquiry. Any time an Imperial soldier refuses basic climate protection and instead insists on toughing it out, notify me. Now. Lieutenant Hareth. Lately of Insanity Company. Previous service as a colonel on Belsavis. Demoted several times for death cult activities. For that alone she’s got to be the best-documented officer Insanity Company has.” “I have no staff corresponding to that name,” said the droid. “Would you like to cross-reference per specific cult activity?” “I don’t know which ones she got caught in. I don’t know that even she could keep them straight, she wasn’t very picky so long as ‘glory to the Emperor’ was involved. Same standing inquiry as before, but this one for impassioned death cult endorsement. Next. Captain Pandorr. Lately of Insanity Company. Previous service on Taris. May have been recently reassigned.” “I have no staff corresponding to that name,” said the droid. “Tall fellow. Makes up words when he gets excited. Blast it…I knew I should have learned their first names. – Ah! There’s one! Ensign Durmat Rylon. Lately of Insanity Company. Had a brief and ignoble stint on Balmorra previously.” “I have no staff corresponding to that name,” said the droid. “Cross reference soldiers with a medical history including total amnesia between three and four years ago. Go on, I’ll wait.” He waited with the kind of actinic stare that would sear a hole through both holo and hull if given enough time. “No results,” said the droid. “Inquiry,” he grated. “General Malavai Quinn. Lately commander of Insanity Company. Go ahead. Play coy.” “Personnel file under category six lock,” said the droid. “Personnel note: ‘You’re in trouble, sir.’” The seconds slipped away. After a polite pause the droid raised one metallic hand. “You have been selected to participate in a customer service survey at the end of this call. Please stay on the line to participate. Question one: Did your customer service representative show proper deference to the Emperor before answering your question?” But Quinn was no longer there. * “Did I say ‘go anywhere to help you with this’?” said Nalenne. “Because Hoth wasn’t on the go list.” “If Ritter’s down there he’s probably getting frostbitten, ice cat slashed, or both, again,” said Quinn. “He’s no use to the Empire dead.” “He knows that. I’m sure he’s still alive.” Quinn tugged on a heavy glove. “And will remain that way.” “Sending him back to Hoth’s just about the worst thing you could do to him,” said Pierce. “I say this as a man who was staring at reassignment to Taris after a certain incident last year.” “I wouldn’t really have done it,” said Nalenne. “Unless you cut holes in strategic places in all Quinn’s uniforms again.” “Burned. With acid.” Vette stifled a giggle. “Yeah, good thing that one wasn’t repeated.” “I am going to the surface,” Quinn said loudly. “I expect to be back with Ritter.” “I’ll be up here with a comfy couch,” said Nalenne. “And some blankets. And tissues. And hot chocolate.” “My lord,” said Quinn, bowing, “you are perfect at what you do.” * Nalenne looked out across the ruined jail yard. “You know what the problem with Belsavis is?” “Everything?” said Vette. “Just about,” said Nalenne. “Insanity clan’s gullible one must be trackable,” said Broonmark. “We can trace her speeder.” “You can?” said Nalenne, startled. Broonmark shrugged. “Gullible one probably took a rental and is probably not smart enough to deactivate tracker. There is no reason to make this hard.” Once they had coordinates they piled back into a shuttle to take them into the depths of the ancient prison. The transmitter had abruptly cut off at the entrance to a cave under the gnarled roots of an ancient tree beneath a dome of ice. “Darth Ekkage was kept just up that way, wasn’t she?” said Pierce. “Yep,” said Nalenne. “It forces one to wonder what Lieutenant Hareth was trying to free,” grumbled Quinn. “Only the most dangerous prisoners were kept here.” “Probably just a planet eater or something,” said Nalenne. A moment’s silence. Everyone sped up. The elevator at the back of the cave was still operational. The walls on the long, long way down… “Maybe we should have left someone up top?” mused Nalenne. “In case something goes wrong?” “Nah,” said Vette. “I’m sure we’re fine.” …the walls on the long way down were a solid mass of carvings, heavy brutish forms that spoke of the history of an unpleasant race. “Talos would love this, I bet,” said Jaesa. “Talos had to be tied up and drugged to be taken off planet last time Nis visited,” said Nalenne. “It was hilarious.” “Sith clan…” quorked Broonmark. “The platform shakes.” Nalenne held very, very still. “We can always call Kira,” said Jaesa. “I’m sure she would help.” “…Is Sith clan hippie crazy?” buzzed Broonmark. “I have no idea what you just said,” said Quinn, “but it’s academic if we can’t get a signal out.” “The only way through is forward,” opined Broonmark. “Once we have torn through our enemies we can focus on escape.” “Yes, let’s see what friends Hareth has made,” said Nalenne. “I swear this day is coming straight out of her paycheck.” At the bottom of the elevator was a corridor. Nalenne hesitated long enough to watch the elevator begin its long ascent without them. “Well, that was a bad idea.” But she stiffened her spine and led the way down the corridor, which was lit in sullen blue by some kind of moss in the cracks of the carvings. “Whew,” said Vette. “It’s hot.” “Every place we go is hot,” Broonmark rattled dolefully. “Except Hoth.” The corridor widened and started to splinter into natural stone. As they walked the ceiling raised, and the place began to take on a look not entirely unlike a Dromund Kaas skyscraper: tall, glum, badly lit, and utterly foreboding. They rounded a corner. Then they saw structure again. Huge pillars inset with white lights marched down toward what looked like a long trap door. A blob that might have been a microbe or a world was projected in a tall stand. Beside it was a computer console. And on the computer console was Lieutenant Hareth. “You’re sure you can eat the entire planet?” Hareth was saying. The voice rang out in both Basic and something Nalenne didn’t recognize, the dual voice somehow coming through clear. “It will be after your children and your children’s children are dead. You will suffer no consequence.” “I don’t suppose you could speed that up? For the glory of the Emperor, you know.” “I do not…speed up,” said the voice. “All the galaxy will be mine in time.” “Aw.” Hareth dashed her forearm across her eyes. “You sound just like he would.” “Lieutenant,” snapped Quinn, stepping forward. “Explain yourself.” “Sir!” She snapped to attention, then turned by means of a series of tiny rapid foot movements to face him. “Sir. I was reassigned here without the rest of the company, sir. So I investigated. This is the World Razer. He’s going to–” “Instigate mass death for no good reason?” said Quinn. “We’ve talked about this…” “The Emperor would be proud,” Hareth said resentfully. “It is for his glory that I do this thing. Plus the World Razer offered access to advanced weaponry if I set him free.” “Ooh, really?” said Pierce. Nalenne elbowed one of the seams in his armor, hard. “Lieutenant, we are not here to unleash planet-devouring ancient horrors,” Quinn said sternly. “You are to be reassigned at once to support Insanity Company field duties.” “Can I just finish this first?” said Hareth. “No!” said Quinn and Nalenne. Vette had walked up to the console. Now she started typing. “What are you doing?” said Nalenne. “Sealing this bad boy away for another few thousand years,” said Vette. “Oh,” said Quinn. “I thought you were just stealing something.” “All in good time, Quinny. All in good time.” * “I used to know where all the good bioweapon research facilities were,” Pierce said wistfully. “I’ve been out of the game, though.” “We’re not even sure Pandorr is here,” said Nalenne. “If Ritter and Hareth were sent back to the dead-end assignments they had been on prior to the reconstitution of Insanity Company,” said Quinn, “we must at least try.” “There’s Dorant’s facility,” said Pierce. “Crazy Republic defector. Rakghouls. Nasty stuff. Dead now, but Pandorr might have gone there.” Pierce led the way, periodically heaving grenades to one side or another to disperse the converging rakghouls. The atmosphere wasn’t pleasant enough for Nalenne to demand to stop and dispatch them herself. Dorant, whoever he was, had an ugly metal bunker in an ugly biohazard hillside. Nalenne led the way through a musty base level and up some stairs into a wide room with a lot of very much working electrical equipment. Captain Pandorr turned around from the control panel. “General! Wrath? I don’t believe it! Come in, come in!” They did so. Then, suddenly, Pandorr stopped smiling. “Uh. Stay still. Stay very, very still.” He was staring past them now, blue eyes wide. “Don’t. Move.” He raised a bizarre-looking blaster pistol. “Don’t…” his brow worked…“on second thought run now go go go.” He fired through the burst of activity. Nalenne staggered around to see a giant rakghoul rolling on the floor. It was making an earsplitting sound at the upper limit of hearing. As Nalenne watched Pandorr took a more normal-looking blaster and put the monster out of its misery. “Wow,” he said. “So I don’t think that’s going to work out for us. Better stick to spiking their kolto tanks.” “Good to see you still doing the Empire’s work,” said Quinn, shaking one boot that had gotten splashed on. “It’s marvelful to see you,” effused Pandorr. “I wasn’t sure what would happen to Insanity Company after we got the word.” “Political tomfoolery,” said Nalenne. “I don’t suppose you know where the others ended up?” Uneven steps sounded on the stairs. Captain Rutau limped in and stopped. “You!” He lit up. “Are you here to take us someplace with actual Republic resistance?” “That’s, uh, a good question,” said Nalenne. “Enemies of the Empire, certainly,” asserted Quinn. “Yeah, that,” said Nalenne. “We need Insanity Company.” “I don’t know where the men got reassigned to,” Rutau said regretfully. “I think – I hope – we officers got the worst of it.” “We’re going back now, though, aren’t we?” Pandorr turned pleading eyes to the officer and the Sith. “This one’s off the books,” warned Nalenne. “The same people that stuck you here are still looking to inconvenience us any way they can. We have to track down what they’re up to and stop it.” “For the Empire?” Pandorr clarified worriedly. “For the Empire,” Quinn said decisively. “Well then,” said Rutau. “What are we waiting for?” * “Wrath. General, sir.” The reedy youth saluted. “I’m on Dromund Kaas. Can you meet me?” They did, of course. Ensign Durmat Rylon, last remaining of the Insanity Company core, was too valuable to miss. He ducked out of a dark alley in the spaceport to intercept Nalenne and Quinn. “Wrath,” he said again. “General, sir.” And saluted. “Let’s get out of here.” “What happened?” said Nalenne on the way. “I was reassigned. I thought they’d pick Balmorra but Balmorra’s not taking Imperial shipments.” He scowled. “Anyone who wants to dismantle Insanity Company is no friend of the Empire. So I investigated. I have names.” Quinn snatched the datapad from his hands. “Ensign, these are…highly placed. – The president of Corellian Office Furniture, Ltd.? The president of Corellian Office Furniture, Ltd. did not order the dispersion of Insanity Company!” “He would have if he thought anyone would listen,” muttered Ensign Rylon. “Let’s go,” said Nalenne. “We’re supposed to be keeping a low profile here.” “We’re gonna get the guys who did this,” said Rylon. “Right?” “Working on it, kid,” said Nalenne. “Working on it.”

Q&A! Q: What inspired the sisters? A: Nalenne was a combination of two factors. Factor one was the hilarity of the Doozzer's Thursday Morning Wrath. That's the fic that first told me fanfic could be used for plot and comedy all in one place. Most of my early decisions about Nalenne were efforts to differentiate her from TMW's Wrath so I could play in my own space. Factor two was the persistence of Quinn on my Warrior (Ruth)'s bridge despite my headcanoned killing or banishing of him. So. He's dead but he's standing there and I can't get rid of him. What does that do to a person? Nalenne was my answer. Niselle was quickly invented when I needed an Inquisitor to answer Nalenne's metaphysical questions. Sister? Sure, why not? I meant for her to be a minor recurring character. Obviously she had bigger plans. Q: Why are they fat and bald? (yep, actual question) A: They're curvaceous because that's hella cute. They're depilated because of prior pranks. I have no regrets about their appearance. Q: Where are the other class representatives? A: That would be telling. I will say that NDOW has an established Knight, Warrior, Inquisitor, Smuggler, and Agent. There is no Trooper, though M1-4X is canon and Nalenne has met him. Q: What is Insanity Company's battle song? A: I am so bad at this I don't know. If "America **** Yeah" were The Empire **** Yeah, that might be it. Otherwise probably Princes of the Universe (thanks, Queen!). Q: Where does that style come from, anyway? A: My two formative influences in comic style are the irreplaceable Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett. In particular they exemplify two things: wordplay, and the matter-of-fact reporting of arrant absurdities. Don't take my word for it, go read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or Guards! Guards!. I don't pretend to be on that level, but that's what inspires me. Q: If the girls both make it to KoTFE and one of them was in carbonite and not the other will they continually make fun of how the other one looks much "older" now? XD Q: Rho-Jaesa-Kira "poly-amorous illicit sex animals" yes? Thanks for reading!

Here we conclude Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic: Prelude: Shadow of Revan: Proliferation of Subtitles: And Abuse of Colons. It’s the longest stretch of game plot Nalenne, Niselle, and Rho have ever conquered. The spoiler policy has shifted: from SoR Prelude, it now covers Shadow of Revan: Rishi. Class-specific content will still be spoiler marked in bold. Thanks for reading! I’ll be hosting a Q&A all weekend, to be answered Sunday; if you have questions about the girls, the NDOW universe, my take on game events, or anything in the greater Bright!verse, fire away.

Part 3-38. In which the afterglow is put out This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan introduction, Forged Alliances. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. Once you and someone are through, You may try to leave with ‘adieu.’ They may counter-try: The long wave goodbye Is sometimes more long than you knew. A coded message. Again. Manaan. Again. “Manaan?” said Nalenne, incredulous. “I already threw out my wig! Now I have to get another?” The holo flicked on. “Nalenne,” Niselle said sharply. “Did you receive this?” “Yes. Who does she think she is?” “It’s intriguing she can’t meet us back at the fleet,” said Niselle. “All the same, we should go find out what happened.” “And get the rest of our crews back,” agreed Nalenne. On the flight over, she managed to fish out and somewhat salvage her wig. There, in the office on Manaan, were the whole gang: their missing crews, Lana Beniko, her pet Wookiee, Therobird Shan. And Rho. Only Niselle was missing. “Everyone’s all right?” said Nalenne. “We should be asking you,” said Lana. “We’ve really stung them this time, and they’re stinging back. Jakarro’s had twelve death sentences declared on him. Theron’s been disavowed by the SIS…and the Empire has placed a bounty on my head for the murder of Darth Arkous.” “Funny, nobody hates me any more than they did before,” said Nalenne. “What about you, Jedi?” “I think I’m still banned from that one cantina on Coruscant for that one tiny misunderstanding,” said Kira. “Nothing else that I know about.” “Nothing for me, either,” said Rho. “How convenient,” said Nalenne. Niselle stomped in. Behind her, in full battle array, were Andronikos, Ashara, Talos, Xalek, and a thoughtfully chewing Khem Val. “Did you get captivated by a mirror on the way?” Nalenne said pointedly. “I got arrested,” said Niselle through clenched teeth. “For a list of your crimes that it took their stupid police two hours to read through.” “You could have just killed them earlier.” “There were a lot of them.” Khem Val burped. “Don’t tell me there were Force users,” said Nalenne. Khem Val hummed happily. “Is that the worst they’ve got on you?” said Nalenne. “Looks like Lana and company are getting bounties heaped on them after our little Revan fiasco.” “If I met a guy who looked like Theron I’d put a bounty on him, too,” Niselle said dismissively. “Maybe I did and just forgot.” “But you and I seem pretty clear otherwise,” said Nalenne. Lana’s yellow eyes were half lidded. “No doubt Revan assumes you dead.” “Oh, then good thing he wasn’t standing right there when our intact ship broke atmosphere immediately in front of his fleet and then zipped off into hyperspace,” Niselle said flatly. “He had a lot on his mind,” said Lana. “Monologuing, for one thing.” “He wasn’t very good at it,” said Nalenne. “All things considered. I’ve heard better.” “To be fair,” said Vette, “your job does put you up against the best Jedi monologuers in the galaxy.” “He could have at least tried,” said Nalenne. “There are certain expectations about leading a cult.” “You’ve got that right,” said Niselle. “This supposed Revan? Cut-rate material. I dare say I could do better.” “Not that you have to,” Rho said hurriedly. “Yes,” said Niselle, “of course.” “Anyway,” said Theron, “Lana and I are going to go lay low for a while. You’d better keep doing what you do. We can’t have the Empire and Republic falling apart on us now.” “We’ll do our part,” Rho said stoutly. “I told you we should have killed him,” said Niselle. “I’m not killing Jaesa’s friend’s…er, best…” “Lover?” Niselle said, with relish. “More of a…” “Forbidden passion?” Niselle said maliciously. “I was more going for…” “Illicit sex animal?” said Niselle. Rho was turning a shade of dark green more often seen on jungle planets. “Yeah, that,” said Nalenne. “I don’t want to kill that. I happen to know a little something about prematurely killing someone you like. It’s not pretty. Besides, he’s probably more entertaining alive.” “Hmph.” Niselle turned away. “So where are you going to ride this out?” said Nalenne. “At my job, I imagine,” said Niselle. “Didn’t see that one coming,” muttered Andronikos. “Some of us,” she said, “do have day jobs.”

Together. *snickers.*

Part 3-37. In which the party splits This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan introduction, Forged Alliances. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. An arrangement that’s made for convenience Can’t guarantee mutual lenience. When push comes to shove, The absence of love Makes mountains of each little grievance. The cargo bay had been somewhat reconfigured to fashion seats out of the various crates. A close observer would note that there were still no clean surfaces. The gallery of carbonite-frozen pets had been mostly hidden by a grimacing Rho, who now sat with his back to them. “So,” said Niselle as she re-entered. “Rho. You can die now.” “Okay,” said Nalenne. “No!” said Kira and Jaesa. Kira’s lightsaber was out, quick as that. “You needed us back there,” said Kira. “That has absolutely no bearing on your uselessness to me now,” said Niselle. Khem Val chuckled. “Shouldn’t we wait until we know whether we’re the only living people who know about the Revanites?” Jaesa said. “You know. The rest of our crews and everything?” “I for one could go for a cease-fire until we know just how us-against-the-galaxy it is,” said Vette. “This is why I can’t take you anywhere,” said Nalenne. “You’re making me look un-bloodthirsty in front of my sister.” “My dear, they can only contribute to making you look bad. You do the gundark’s share yourself.” “There’s no need for us to fight,” said Rho. “We’re really making a difference here. I hope this means we can learn to set aside our differences and-" Nalenne raised one hand and formed a yapping mouth. "- join together for a common cause-" Nalenne rolled her eyes and yapped faster. "- for the good of us all." “I think it’s a great idea,” said Jaesa. “Lenny,” said Niselle, “would you consider sending your apprentice to Korriban Academy so I can kick her out of it again? With prejudice?” “I don’t know,” said Nalenne. “What’s Rho done lately that’s so bad?” “He pretty much saved a planet back there,” Niselle said disdainfully. “Well, yes, but so did we,” said Nalenne. “I don’t know. Jaesa, would you settle for killing Rho and keeping Kira?” “No!” said Jaesa and Kira. “Then we’re kind of at an impasse.” “He is only a little Jedi,” said Khem Val. “I could kill him.” “No, don’t,” sighed Niselle, loudly. “Lenny would never let me hear the end of it.” “See?” said Rho. “An alliance for the common good.” Both sisters groaned.

http://33.media.tumblr.com/1d26c370e9e17e845d9486fad904c350/tumblr_inline_n1qbjrCxYq1rzbsdm.png Part 3-36. In which contraband gets the hell out This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan introduction, Forged Alliances. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. A sweet Alderaanian chick Had a freighter both subtle and quick. She carried transactions For dissident factions But ran when the trouble got thick. The freighter’s ramp was open, and a striking brunette in a long coat was waving people on board in a crazed effort at command. Nalenne slowed, ignoring the bombardment behind her. "Wait a minute. Do I know you?" “I’d love to discuss it when we’re not here,” she said. “Come on!” The entirety of the landing party, minus those who had been left with the ship back on the beachhead, crowded into a cargo hold dominated by hanging nets and haphazardly piled shipping crates. What appeared to be a collection of carbonite-frozen small animals covered one sloping wall. Niselle looked around, nostrils flaring. “Is this ship yours?” “Nah,” said the brunette, tossing a long braid back over her shoulder. “Owner is pilot is not here.” “I see.” Niselle turned on her heel and walked out. Both Nalenne and the brunette gave chase. “Hey,” said the latter, “no customers on the bridge–” Niselle whirled and raised one veiny white hand. “Consider what you just saw happen to your last clients. Consider, very carefully, just what rules you wish to assert with me.” “Yeah, what she said,” said Nalenne, scowling fearsomely. The purple Force glow that had formed over the brunette’s head sparked once, furiously, and the woman ducked. “Right,” she said, “these guys get the run of the ship. Can I get you a drink while you’re at it?” “I’m allergic to sarcasm,” drawled Niselle. “Violently so. You wouldn’t want to see it.” The brunette visibly bit down on something, then let out a slow breath. “Right. My lord.” Niselle smiled. “Now, then. To the bridge.” The bridge was a crowded affair festooned with buttons, levers, helpfully labeled cables, unhelpfully labeled cables, and large friendly labels on a random but insufficient percentage of the controls. “Not now, Rish, lemme just–” The woman in the pilot’s seat cut left, hard, and spun around incoming fire. “Check the astrogation numbers. Quickly please.” “Yes, cap’n.” Lithe and lightning-quick the brunette slid into a seat a few paces away the captain and leaned over a computer display. “How’s–?” “Anything,” the pilot said, wrenching another spin. “How’s five seconds?” “Aye-aye.” The brunette reached up and started hitting switches. Seconds later the pilot grasped a large handle labeled simply “MINE” and pulled. The battle jerked away from them and then they were racing into the whiteness outside stars. The pilot stood. She was a dark-skinned, black-haired Human in a battered, stained waist-length jacket. She had very large, very dark eyes. Very large. “So,” she said. “I see we made some friends.” “Sorry, captain,” said the brunette. “Nic, unless I’m seriously misinformed these are the Emperor’s Wrath and the Dark Council’s favorite daughter. Ladies, Captain Nic.” Nic went through an elaborate bow. “It’s an honor. Really. I haven’t been this honored in days at least. I love getting honored by Sith. It’s so…distinguished, you know?” Niselle seemed to be studying the surroundings, perhaps wondering whether there was a clean surface in the place. Nalenne stepped in. “You were waiting to evacuate Arkous and Darok?” Nic put up her hands. “They paid me. In advance. Very well. Nice guys.” “You’re working for the Revanites. You know that, right?” "The who? I got no political leanings a few credits can't fix, if you take my meaning." "Where's the Mon Calamari? I thought he was your ace pilot." Nic’s eyes darted from side to side. "Yeah, he, uh, broke his flippers. I mean, his fingers. All of ‘em. Real bad. I had to step in." "He's not your pilot at all, is he." Nalenne glared. "That time I tried to hire you. You just didn't want to go to Voss!" "Who would, really?" "I got married there, you know." Nic was all innocent curiosity. "And how'd that work out for you?" Nalenne scowled. "A lot better than this conversation is going to work out for you." Nic sucked in air through her teeth and spun back down to her seat. "Right. Flying now."

Part 3-35. In which we get to the title screen This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan introduction, Forged Alliances. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. This story also contains spoilers for a possible ending of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. There once was a man[?] from [uh, mumble] Who through a good game did once bumble. His[?] canon, once set, Posed a palpable threat, And threw older players a-jumble. “I know that voice…” said Theron. “It’s Revan,” said Lana. “Wait, how do you know that?” said Niselle. “Revan’s dead,” said Nalenne. “Most three hundred year old Humans are.” “I almost had the Infinite Army I wanted so badly,” boomed the voice. A vast holo figure appeared over the temple roof: a hood, an unmistakable mask. “They sell those in the one gift shop remaining on Taris,” said Vette. “Revan wasn’t even a man,” said Nalenne. “Everyone knows that. And then she died. In glorious battle beyond the edge of known space. I read about it.” There was a pause. “You read?” said Lana. "Comic books," coughed Niselle. “Spectacle put out a whole series about her,” said Nalenne. “But even without them,” boomed the Revan mask, “I have enough.” “She’s a personal hero, really,” said Nalenne. “I mean, how many people get to troll the Jedi Council as much as she did? She ripped their whole self-serving spiel out from under them. And then did it again while blindfolded and amnesiac.” “Are you even listening to me?” Nalenne irritably twitched a shoulder while she looked up. “Nope. You’re dead.” “Oh, I died – for all of a blink. I’ve been reborn. My mind is clearer, my power intensified. And now, with the order under my command, I’m unstoppable.” “We’re taught about you at the Academy,” said Rho. “The Jedi aren’t mad. They’re just disappointed.” “And we’ve been stopping you at every juncture for months,” said Niselle. She appeared to be calculating furiously. “Un. Stoppable,” said the mask, sounding annoyed. “Furthermore I just ordered my fleet to open fire. You’re no longer part of the equation.” The atmosphere shivered. Suddenly a red blast the width of a speeder crashed into the side of the temple. The temple was not built for this kind of dynamics. Everyone looked around. Niselle pointed at Rho. “We leave him here, right?” “Escape first,” advised Vette. “Kill Jedi after.” “She said it, not me,” said Nalenne, throwing up a Force shield so blunt as to be more of a racing wave of force punching the incoming laser blasts hard enough to redirect. They ran for the ship. It seemed like their best bet.

A double, as I will be out and about for the next couple of days...2/2 Part 3-34. In which we reach the bosses This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan introduction, Forged Alliances. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. Darth Arkous, a Councilor type, Gave the Empire mountains of hype. But try to see past, His showboat won’t last: His patriot-speak was just tripe. A man who from Coruscant hailed Tried to see ‘Pubbie politics nailed. But his machinations paid off in frustrations: It’s obvious (no?) that he failed. The beach was stormed, the jungle purged, the great stone temple decisively occupied. A pavilion at the top held three things: a small battered-looking freighter, Colonel Darok, and Darth Arkous. “If you run off and leave us under bombardment again I swear to–” said Niselle. “AAAAAA,” yelled Nalenne, leaping. Darth Arkous flicked a coruscating lash of lightning and sidestepped. “Have you no standards? We haven’t even spoken yet.” Nalenne stopped, lightsaber at the ready. “I’m saving time,” she said resentfully. Arkous opened his mouth, but Rho spoke louder. “It’s time to bring you to justice,” said the Jedi. “Or the conclusion of the usual round of political infighting,” said Niselle. “Which is similar to justice in most respects.” “No, it’s not,” said Rho. “Are we seriously debating the merits of killing cultists?” said Nalenne. “Because let’s not.” Khem Val growled something approving. Just then, Colonel Darok opened fire. The fight was a mess. Darok proved to have more gadgets than visible pockets, and Darth Arkous, whatever he lacked in subtlety, he more than gained in Force power. Even as Khem Val and the Jedi closed, and the Force-blinds started placing blaster fire, Nalenne set about breaking through Darok’s defenses. It was some time later that Niselle’s most unpleasant voice rang out. "Keep them alive for questioning." Nalenne looked up from Darok's unmoving form. "Oops." "You've changed nothing!" cackled Arkous. "And if you think you're going to pry answers out of me, you're as insane as you are gullible." "I know she is, but what am I?" said Niselle. Rho, having closed Darok’s eyes and arranged his arms over his chest, looked up. "It's not too late, Arkous. I feel the good in you." Arkous took a fraction of a second to boggle. "Who the hell is this?" “Don’t worry,” said Niselle, “he’s next. Now. About the Revanites.” “Not a word,” Arkous called, shoving a white-hot stream of raw power in her direction. Niselle raised her lightsaber and, scowling, started directing the power off to the side, specifically where no one important would get hit. Nalenne jumped out of that spot and bodychecked Rho into the clear. It was Khem Val’s last swing that got him. The Dashade followed the tall Pureblood down and, kneeling, summoned the stomach-twisting purple energy that would let him siphon his prey’s life force. “Did I say to eat him?” Niselle said pointedly. “No one else was going to,” said Khem, a little thickly. Nalenne’s holo crackled. She took it out to see the miniature forms of Theron and Lana. “You,” Niselle said curtly. “Arkous and Darok were never going to be taken alive.” Khem Val made a small contented noise. “I felt Darth Arkous’s passing,” said Lana. “This is an unfortunate turn.” Theron took over. “Blast it! Those two were running the show. They were our best hope of exposing the Revanites.” “Yeah,” Nalenne said awkwardly. “How sad.” “Nice self-control there, Mr. Top Secret Agent Man,” coughed Vette. Lana raised a staying hand. “No. They weren’t in charge. The disturbance in the Force, I still feel it. It’s…arrived.” “That sounds like a personal problem,” muttered Nalenne. An odd change had come over Rho’s face. The Mirialan opened his mouth. “Trouble,” he said. And above them in the sky, ships streaked out of nowhere and parked at just the sort of altitude you wouldn’t expect a ship to stop at. The voice boomed across the rooftop as if there were speakers or any kind of infrastructure whatsoever to support it. “As important as Arkous and Darok were to the cause, their deaths won’t stop us. They won’t even slow us down.”

A double, as I will be out and about for the next couple of days...1/2 Part 3-33. In which the party is selected This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan introduction, Forged Alliances. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. Best hurry or you’ll be too late: The villain machine’s working great. It merits a mention: An Infinite Engine Spawns problems at scary high rate. Lana had arranged a rendezvous an hour away from Rakata Prime, the better to coordinate operations. “Yes,” said Nalenne. “of course you had to be here.” “Theron’s report was alarming,” said Rho as he ducked into their joint vehicle. It was, thankfully, larger than the last one. “You didn’t think we were going to let you adopt the Infinite Army all by yourselves, did you?” said Kira. “Who said I was going to do that?” said Niselle. “She was going to do that,” said Nalenne. “It’s nice to see you,” said Jaesa. “Hey, likewise,” said Kira. “Save any Light Side Sith recently?” “Yes, did you?” purred Niselle, eyeing Jaesa. Jaesa flushed. “I can’t really talk about it.” “Atta girl,” said Kira, beaming. “All right,” said Theron. “Lana and I will stay with the ship. You’ll fight your way up to the temple. Arkous and Darok might be there.” “Might?” said Nalenne. “They move around a lot. Better hurry up.” In the end they split: Rho, Kira, Nalenne, Vette, Jaesa, Niselle, Khem Val, and (at his own insistence) Talos took the forward assault vehicle while the others, Lana nominally in charge with Quinn breathing down her neck, took a vessel that would land at the beach and await further opportunity. -- two hours later -- “Nice beaches,” said Nalenne. “Are you even paying attention?” shrieked Niselle. Nalenne chopped off another implant-ridden limb from the local warriors. “Sure I am. Look at this place! Beach home paradise!” “Apart from the forest of self-replicating Rakatan nuisances,” huffed Niselle. “Not for too long.” Vette squeaked. “Is that a rancor over there? Or just a small building?” “A small…walking…building,” Talos said slowly. “With no visible architectural flourishes. I think rancor might be right. Either that or I’ll have to heavily revise my notes on Rakatan architecture.” “Nis,” said Nalenne, “he is adorable.” Niselle preened. “Oh, I know. Come, let’s wreck the locals.”

Part 3-32. In which Lana gives the next bit of bad news This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan introduction, Forged Alliances. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. Malevolent wills oversee Production untiringly. Although it sounds barmy, An Infinite Army Spells Trouble with capital T. Weeks of joyful aimlessness were drawing to a close. The meeting place was a different caf shop on the Imperial fleet. Lana was learning, slowly. She had not given up the cape or the artful splash of golden Human hair. “You look exhausted,” Nalenne said brightly. “Should we caffeinate more before we start?” “No, thank you,” Lana said calmly. “Do you actually eat or drink?” “Yes, of course I do,” Lana said calmly. “Something other than Patriotism?” Lana looked shiftily to either side. “So. I’ve had time to confirm,” she said calmly. “As I suspected, the Order of Revan as it once existed is no more.” “Oh,” said Nalenne, “no dumb nickname required, then.” Lana shook her head. “A bit of a shame, really, the Revanites’ pragmatism may have been anathema to the Sith, but there was something appealing about it.” “Oh, do continue,” Niselle said intently. Lana cleared her throat. “Er. As the Order stands now, it doesn’t wish to change the Empire from within. It aims to destroy us completely, and the Republic along with us. Theron Shan is investigating why and how. He appears to be rather good at his job.” “And so picturesque, too,” Niselle said idly. “Wouldn’t you say?” Lana by this point was looking acutely uncomfortable. “I’ve been too preoccupied by our state of affairs to notice. So. I know I’ve mentioned before a strange disturbance within the Force – a sort of writhing mass tied to Darth Arkous. I thought I’d use my connection to Arkous to seek out others tied to the disturbance – Revanites working against us from within. I found a few.” “And they’re still breathing?” said Nalenne. “We need to follow this thread,” said Lana. “Theron helped me decipher coded messages between the Revanites. Due to your interference on Manaan, they’ve accelerated their schedule. But there’s a way to stop Arkous. Theron’s traced his activities to Rakata Prime. He and Colonel Darok are building their Infinite Army.” “Cyborgs,” said Nalenne. “At least they’re not droids.” “There’s more,” said Lana. “The implants they’re using – they’re made from pieces of the Star Forge.” Niselle tensed with a barely audible hum. Nalenne blinked. “So?” “It was a Force-imbued, self-sustaining shipyard. Rakatan. It required virtually nothing to create almost anything. It was destroyed centuries ago, but the Revanites recovered some of the wreckage.” “Sounds boring, Lenny,” said Niselle, “I wouldn’t bother.” “I’m blunt, not stupid, Nis,” said Nalenne. “I've heard of it. We need to deal with this.” “Agreed,” said Lana. “The technology makes the soldiers nearly immortal. Seizes their minds as well, placing them under the Revanites’ full control.” “Oh, do tell,” purred Niselle. “All I’m saying is, slave collars were good enough for my mentors and they’re good enough for me,” said Nalenne. “Yes,” said Niselle, “your Vette’s is so very effective.” “It’s just about as effective as she deserves,” Nalenne said defensively. “Now. Can we at least agree to get the slave implants away from the bad guys?” Niselle’s bleach-pale eyes gleamed. “And to the worse.” “Ew,” said Nalenne.

Part 3-31. In which nothing much is accomplished A picture of neat domesticity: For all it’s a dream of felicity. Admittedly, trouble May still sometimes bubble: The truth is not always simplicity. “Duranium Man,” called Nalenne, skipping through the bridge. “Already?” said Pierce. “Every two weeks since they bulked up the pipeline. I can’t believe what they’re doing with the Darth Totally-Not-Acina plotline. It’s one thing to disagree with the Dark Council’s technology policy, but they’re all but assassinating her.” “With the latest and greatest,” Pierce said happily. “You realize he could bomb the entire Council to rubble and take over if he wanted to.” “If he wanted that kind of responsibility he wouldn’t be Duranium Man,” said Nalenne. “I think he likes it where he is.” “Hey, I heard someone speaking nerd,” said Vette, poking her head in. “Are you not participating in the Great Sunday Slave Collar Remote Hunt?” “Sure,” said Nalenne. “I was just checking the holoprojector. Never know what might get stuck in a holoprojector.” “Smooth,” said Vette. “Let’s see you work for it.” “Says the slave,” grumbled Nalenne. “You realize I still own you?” “You don’t realize that half the time,” said Pierce. His basso mutter wasn’t actually much of a mutter. “All right,” said Nalenne, “remote hunting. There’s got to be some panels in here we haven’t unscrewed yet.” A muffled yell sounded from elsewhere. Nalenne bolted past Vette and looked around. “My lord!” Quinn was holding something aloft. “By my estimate this must be the second largest dust bunny we’ve found on board.” “Sith clan’s dumbest ‘estimated’ by using our biomass scale,” Broonmark buzzed resentfully from the other room. “Without asking.” “One for the record books,” Nalenne yelled back. “Quinn, would it have killed you to ask?” Quinn turned up his nose. “It’s your biomass scale. I had biomass.” “Still a novelty to you, huh?” muttered Vette. “Let’s get it in the trophy case,” said Nalenne. “And then find the second biggest slave collar remote on board, huh?” said Vette. “Or the biggest. I’m not unreasonable.”

Part 3-30. A second poetic interlude My apologies in advance. Modernized limericks for the usual suspects (spoilers for Sith Warrior Act 3): A trooper of ego unmatched, A Twi’lek, a padawan snatched, A loyal retainer And one slick no-brainer: Thus Warrior parties are hatched. ‘No-brainer’ sounds harsher than needed, Especially since he’s defeated. Smart or dumb as believed, We’re all just relieved His dastardly plan was impeded. A Twi’lek named Vette, treasure-seeker, Her silver tongue never gets weaker. She’ll talk off an ear If you let her; I hear She mellows but never gets meeker. A studious padawan (former) May become a covert grand reformer. To focus the light Through what’s wrong to what’s right Takes a steady and skillful performer. On Taris a trooper was part Of an effort one might call non-start. He schemed an escape With a Sith in a cape Who would grant action close to his heart. There once was a murderous Talz With assortments of fierce battle calls. We quickly see through him: To all those who knew him He had grade-A durasteel…nerves.