Ravage is a national treasure. Great secret meeting. What's the Empire supposed to be, if not soaked in blood?

Kettrien, yes. Sample all the Chiss drinks.

Gut punch averted... ...or is it??

Ah, the Bessiker whelp. Somehow I doubt he attracted many mourners.

KotFE M

KotFE L KotFE H

KotFE K

KotFE T

I resurrect this thread with good news: the holidays are here again and with them, some brand new companions! All stories from here on out have Knights of the Fallen Empire spoilers. KotFE S

It takes some doing to make Baby Rusk successful, but I'm willing to give him this one. Quinn got the arrogant posturing, which is good practice for when he's grown up and his plans are working. XD

Completely failed to see this update until now. Loving it. Ravage and Marr, lol.

I’m giving Rusk a hard time, but ideas just keep bubbling up. BABY RUSK eyes his newly upgraded squad. The stuffed Ithorian, Arcona, and Whiphid have been wrapped in fluffy protective paper, the Selonian action figure had one arm replaced by an LED flamethrower, and the Gormak action figure stands two inches taller than before thanks to rocket boots. BABY RUSK: I think you did a great job, Sergeant Blizz. BABY BLIZZ: [incomprehensible jabbering] BABY RUSK: Now. It’s time to test in battle. BABY RUSK finishes posing his squad and goes looking for an Imperial to drag into a fight. BABY QUINN is practicing an intense parade rest, chest puffed out as he looks out across the Imperial-in-imagination landscape. BABY RUSK: Hey. Quinn. This is Republic territory now. BABY QUINN, not moving: I think you’ll find you are mistaken. Without further ado, BABY RUSK opens fire, lifting the Selonian’s blaster arm and shooting a foam dart at BABY QUINN’s back. BABY QUINN: My word, you’ve learned how to aim. BABY QUINN turns slightly, looking dramatically over his shoulder. BABY QUINN: But the terms have changed. Foam suction darts are no longer effective. BABY RUSK: That’s cheating! BABY QUINN: I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it further. BABY RUSK throws his assault cannon at BABY QUINN. It hits him square in the chest and rattles to the ground. BABY RUSK: Alter this. BABY QUINN: Ow! Yeah, well… BABY QUINN runs to the figurines and starts tearing off their protective coverings. BABY RUSK continues swinging assault cannons at him. BABY QUINN, punching the Ithorian down: For the Empire. BABY RUSK: I’m hitting you fair and square! BABY QUINN, punching the Arcona down: For the Empire! BABY RUSK: Quit it! BABY QUINN, in an ecstasy of destruction, hits the stuffed Whiphid with the stuffed Ithorian. BABY RUSK gathers up the Selonian and the Gormak. He swings them both at BABY QUINN, shatteringly hard. BABY QUINN: Ow! BABY RUSK: Your sacrifice won’t be in vain, guys. BABY QUINN pulls a foam suction dart out of the nearest assault cannon and starts poking BABY RUSK with it. BABY QUINN: Point blank range! You don’t stand a chance! Casualties, one hundred percent! BABY RUSK: Darts don’t do anything anymore. Remember? BABY QUINN slows his attack. BABY QUINN: But…I don’t have any other weapons. I gave them to Blizz to upgrade. BABY RUSK: Should’ve thought of that before you turned off darts in a fight with my elite squad. BABY QUINN: I could probably have planned this better. BABY RUSK lowers his head and pokes BABY QUINN with his horns. BABY RUSK: For the Republic! BABY QUINN flops over, defeated, still clutching one dart. BABY QUINN, from the ground, hopefully: Is it too late to make foam darts do damage again? BABY RUSK: Yes. –I’d better go break the news to Zenith.

Aaaaand subscribed. I have a deadly weakness for Imperial spies of all stripes.

Nadia's fascinating because you get the impression she is crazy strong. Of all the companion romance letters, hers is the only one to say she can still sense you out there. Makes you wonder how she'll grow up...of course, first she's got to deal with Baby Darth Marr. BABY TALOS toddles up to the corner where KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING sits on his tiny walker in his terrarium. BABY TALOS: Fascinating! The environment of the terrarium has been preserved since pre-invasion times! As neutral Hutt territory it may be a cultural treasure trove of the past! KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: That treasure trove is mine, squirt. BABY TALOS: But think of the greater knowledge to be gleaned by- KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING, bitterly: Stealing my stuff? BABY TALOS: Uncovering! KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: Well, if you uncover my terrarium I can take my walker out and take over again. BABY TALOS: Oh. This might be too dangerous. KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: I can offer you the fabulous wealth of the Hutt Cartel. BABY TALOS: I have a feeling if I got any wealth Pierce would just beat me up and take it. BABY PIERCE, from next to the toybox: I have NO IDEA where you got that notion. Please, continue with the wealth-gathering. KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: You will have powerful allies in the Hutt Cartel. BABY TALOS: Can they get me more artifacts? KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: I’m not saying they won’t. ASSISTANT SENYA: I doubt Karagga has the means to back up his promises. KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: How do you know? You don’t even live here. ASSISTANT SENYA: Talos, ask him for a small advance as proof of his goodwill. KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: Don’t do that! BABY TALOS: You can keep lying to me if you want to draw down the wrath of the Imperial Reclamation Service. KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING laughs rudely. BABY TALOS: Have you ever gotten an archaeologist mad? KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: How would I know? BABY TALOS: You would know. ASSISTANT SENYA: Karagga, if you keep trying to subvert the children I’m going to have to cover up your cage. KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: Consider my offer. I am, after all, the Grand Mogul of the Hutt Cartel. BABY TALOS: It’s really the cultural treasure trove of any old stuff in your cage that interests me. KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: When does Risha come back?

Ahh, lab equipment! Makes every room better! It is so very maddening to encounter a person of principle when those principles are opposed to what needs to get done like right now.

I regret to say that I can't play the game right now but I have most of my old files. Here's hoping... Part 3-63. In which the party assesses its next move This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan Rishi questline. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions. A Jedi, a Twi’lek, a Wrath Forged a straight although dangerous path: When acting as sleuth, Unveiling the truth May require performing the math. The shuttle was crowded, but Tannu Ma squeezed her lekku in front of her and they made it in. Rho took the pilot’s seat once more. Everyone else sat in varying degrees of discomfort. “So did we actually learn anything about the Revanites from that little expedition?” said Kira. Nalenne and Rho exchanged looks. Nalenne’s holo rang. “I took the liberty of sending Torch your contact information before we departed,” said Quinn. “Because asking nicely would’ve been too hard for you?” said Kira. “I find that ‘asking nicely,’ as you put it, is rarely if ever the most efficient course of action.” “How for the love of the Force did you manage to marry her?” Quinn had the grace to cough. “That’s a long story,” said Nalenne. “You don’t want to pretend to want to hear it.” “Okay, got that right.” “Hey,” said Torch’s little holo figure. “Hey? You listening yet? Forgot to tell you, the Revanites are building a fleet somewhere on Rishi. Have fun with that.” “What-“ said Nalenne. “Where-“ said Rho. “Why-“ said Tannu. Torch’s figure flickered out. “Oh, that was worth thirty-six hours and most of my thigh,” grumbled Nalenne. “So Revanites are bad?” said Tannu Ma. “Quinn.” Nalenne was massaging her eyes. “Do that briefing thing you do.”

Ah, returning to the grind of...um...hanging out playing, I guess! NADIA GRELL: And if you focus very clearly right between your hands, you can start to feel the Force moving you. BABY ASHARA: You mean it controls our actions? NADIA GRELL: Partially. But it also obeys your commands. At least, that's what Master Satele told me when I called her for advice yesterday. KHEM VAL: Nadia. NADIA GRELL cranes way, way up to look at KHEM VAL. NADIA GRELL: Yes, Mr. Khem Val? KHEM VAL: This is the first time I have seen the children try to educate one another. NADIA GRELL: I’m not a child. KHEM VAL: Curious, just the same. BABY KIRA looks shifty. BABY JAESA looks indecisive. BABY ASHARA glares defiantly. BABY GUSS tries to hide behind BABY KIRA. NADIA GRELL: I just thought, since we’re stuck where we can’t leave but we can’t go inside… KHEM VAL: Nobody has tried teaching anybody anything since T7-01 expelled us. NADIA GRELL: Well, then there’s things for all of us to learn. BABY ASHARA: But mostly Force users. BABY GUSS nods emphatically from behind BABY KIRA. KHEM VAL: I will not interfere. Especially if you have to go up against Darth Marr. NADIA GRELL: If I am out-tutored by a guy who is actually dead, I will hang up the Jedi robe and go be…thinks about it…a politician? KHEM VAL: Darth Marr is a formidable politician, too. NADIA GRELL: How ‘bout a nice person, huh? He got that locked up too? KHEM VAL: No, not even slightly. NADIA GRELL: There. I can do something he doesn’t. BABY THARAN: Corso, would you like to be my assistant? BABY CORSO points at the purple plastoid pony standing beside BABY THARAN. BABY CORSO: I thought My Little Holiday was your assistant. MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: Oh, I am! But we need somebody with moving parts to pick up materials. BABY CORSO: Okay, sure. Here, I’ve got something that might help. BABY CORSO shyly produces a sleek silver foam dart blaster with racing stripes painstakingly painted on it. BABY THARAN: A blaster! Are you crazy? BABY CORSO: No! BABY CORSO hesitates before making the return inquiry that compulsive politeness requires. BABY CORSO: Are you? BABY THARAN: No! I just want to do science! BABY CORSO, peering at BABY THARAN’s carefully cobbled-together lab bench, which mostly consists of an old shingle propped up on rocks and sprinkled with odd mechanical parts scavenged from the road nearby: It looks pretty complicated. BABY THARAN: Science is very complicated. That’s why I’m great at it. MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: You’re so smart, Tharan! BABY CORSO: So…I’m the assistant and she’s the moral support? BABY THARAN: An admirable breakdown. Now go find me a green liquid. It’s critically important to the lab setup. BABY CORSO: Wait, what do you want the liquid to be? BABY THARAN: Green. Obviously. It’s Science. Get to it.

What a spectacular piece! What a tantalizing ending! I'm a diehard Scourge shipper but this is starting to sell me on the Theron thing. Love it, Lunafox. Really, this was tremendous.

Spoilers for Ensign Temple's recruitment. The children milling around outside daycare stop when a chunky speeder truck appears on the horizon. With much belching of smoke and rattling of parts it pulls up in front of the daycare building. The driver, a reedy fellow in a Rotworms jersey, hops off. He turns to NADIA GRELL. DELIVERYMAN: Miss, I have a package here for a...he squints at his holo readout...Kerm Wall? KHEM VAL: She is one of the children. Don't bother. NADIA GRELL: I'm not a child. KHEM VAL: You will deal with me. THE DELIVERYMAN looks him up and down. DELIVERYMAN: If it's all the same to you, I really don't have a problem with talking to someone who isn't you. KHEM VAL: Tulak Hord would punish your insolence with death. DELIVERYMAN: Yeah, but the trailer is keyed to my biometrics. KHEM VAL, reluctantly: Proceed. KHEM VAL turns to the assembled children, who by now have stilled and quieted, apart from the ones trying to sneak around to peek into the trailer. KHEM VAL: Children, today you will celebrate your gratitude for still being alive. KHEM VAL pauses and looks at BABY DARTH MARR. BABY DARTH MARR glares through his mask at KHEM VAL. KHEM VAL: Or only mostly dead. A heavenly smell emerges as the trailer opens. Inside are all the furnishings necessary to seat twenty-eight children, a ghost, a young Jedi, and a shadow killer...plus one more, as KID LOKIN hops out to help. The DELIVERYMAN, KID LOKIN, and NADIA GRELL set about unloading tables. BABY BROONMARK spreads table cloths by jumping onto the end of each one and, relying on static cling, shuffling down the table dragging the end with him. The more responsible children, policed by BABY ELARA, take the broad vats and plates of food and start arranging them. BABY GAULT, to BABY MAKO: Can I interest you in a fine hat? BABY GAULT takes one of the leafy cornucopia centerpieces and balances it on his horns to illustrate. KHEM VAL sweeps it off his head and back onto the table. BABY GAULT: Jeez, just trying to get into the holiday spirit of entrepreneurism. KHEM VAL: Thanksgiving Day is not about entrepreneurism. BABY GAULT: Every day is about entrepreneurism, Mr. Khem Val. BABY MAKO, soothingly: I thought it was a good hat. BABY GAULT: Enough to pay for it? BABY MAKO: No. KID LOKIN hesitates over the two-person carry of a tremendous turkey or possibly larger fauna. His eyes dilate as he stares at its crackling, juicy majesty. BABY KIRA: Hungry much? KID LOKIN: Maybe I'd better go vegetarian today. BABY TANNO VIK: Don't put the chocolate cake near me. I'm allergic. Just bring over the pumpkin pie...and the cheesecake...yep, and the blueberry one...just keep 'em coming. BABY ELARA: No sampling! BABY TANNO VIK: This isn't sampling. It's digging in at full speed. KHEM VAL, to the group in general: Be grateful that these are not the dining halls of Yn and Chabosh, where acolytes fought to the death for the honor of getting seconds. BABY KIRA: It's not a dining hall at all. It's outdoors. KHEM VAL, leaning down: Also be grateful I tolerate nitpickers. BABY RUSK brings his action figure squad to the table. BABY RUSK: Oh, no! There aren't enough chairs for you guys! BABY ASHARA: You could stack them next to your plate so they don't take up much space. Just don't feed them, they might find a way to die. BABY RUSK: Whew. Good thing you were here for tactical advice. BABY SKADGE heaps food onto his plate. He then relieves BABY VECTOR and BABY TEMPLE of their plates and starts heaping more food. BABY VECTOR: This is not harmonious. BABY SKADGE: No, but it's tasty. BABY TEMPLE: Quit it! BABY SKADGE: Make me, runt! BABY TEMPLE squinches up her face and raises a hand. An itty-bitty Force push knocks BABY SKADGE in the nose. BABY SKADGE blinks. BABY SKADGE, gingerly pushing BABY TEMPLE's plate back to her: Here you go. BABY TEMPLE looks furtively around. Nobody else seems to have noticed. BABY VECTOR: We will not tell anyone. BABY TEMPLE: "We" being only one of you. Right? BABY DOC: Listen, guys, I'm very concerned about the nutritional value of this feast. It's full of...uh...fats! And calameries. KHEM VAL: Calories. BABY DOC: Exactly. For safety you'd better bring the turkey over here. It's all right, I can get rid of it for you. Don't panic, baby. NADIA GRELL: I'm not a baby. BABY DOC: Figure of speech, babe. NADIA GRELL glares. BABY DOC: Uh, never mind. BABY THARAN: You make an excellent point about nutrition, though. How many species here can actually derive benefit from this - he eyes the lavish spread - limited quantity of food? Has a dietitian vetted this? MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: It looks like something worth giving thanks for to me. BABY THARAN: Yes, my dear, but you don't eat. BABY QYZEN FESS goes rocketing down the center of the long tables, touching every single plate and tub of food. BABY QYZEN FESS: Tag! Tag! Tag! BABY RISHA: Ew. How can you possibly get points before the Scorekeeper for things that can't even move? BABY QYZEN FESS is already long gone. BABY MAKO taps her cybernetics. BABY MAKO: Hey, Theron? You guys getting any of this? BABY THERON: Well, Mr. Teeseven just handed out tiny pies and Miss SCORPIO has shut down for the day. I don’t know how much more grateful it gets. BABY ZENITH: Hey. Guss. Want to be my taster? BABY GUSS: I like tasting. BABY ZENITH: Great. Sample everything here so I can see if you die after eating it. BABY GUSS's mouth falls open. BABY ZENITH: Somebody's got to do it. KHEM VAL: The food is not poisoned. BABY ZENITH: Just saying. Trust, but get somebody less important than you to verify. BABY ANDRONIKOS: Wasn't expecting to see you all the way over here, Iresso. BABY IRESSO: Jorgan can't yell at me if I'm two tables down. BABY JORGAN, from two tables down: I heard that, soldier! BABY ANDRONIKOS snickers. BABY QUINN was late to the seating. BABY QUINN: I don't want to sit next to an anarchist. BABY KALIYO: I don't want to sit next to a walking tactical disaster. We all have problems. BABY QUINN: And I don't want to sit next to another anarchist. BABY BLIZZ: [incomprehensible jabbering] BABY QUINN: Does anyone understand what he's saying? BABY AKAAVI, from across the table: Yes. BABY QUINN: Oh. Must be an alien thing. BABY AKAAVI: No. BABY QUINN makes a face and sits down between BABY KALIYO and BABY BLIZZ. Seconds later he sits up straight and slaps BABY BLIZZ's hand away from his standard-issue Imperial blaster. BABY QUINN: No using my stuff for Jawa tomfoolery! BABY KALIYO, smiling: Maybe if you'd paid attention in time to find a safer place to sit. BABY QUINN: I could probably have planned this better. The children are just about ready to start. BABY CORSO is sitting in front of a gelatinous mound of cranberry jelly. BABY JAESA sits beside him. BABY CORSO, reaching for the serving spoon and moving it slightly toward BABY JAESA: Here. Ladies first. The cranberry jelly glistens. It smells of fruit and happiness. BABY CORSO, hand spasming on the spoon: Ladies...first... BABY JAESA: You doing all right there? BABY CORSO: TAKE IT BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND BABY VETTE climbs up on the table to reach a vat of gravy for her mashed potatoes. She slips on a tuft of BABY BROONMARK fur, accidentally bumping BABY RUSK's stack of action figures. The whole pile falls over into the corn bowl. BABY RUSK: No! My squad! BABY TORIAN: They should be fine after you dry them out. BABY RUSK: I would expect you of all people to understand the sacrifices of our troops. BABY TORIAN: Being covered in wet corn doesn't really damage your honor. BABY RUSK: No one understands being a soldier. BABY ELARA stands up and taps her sippy cup with her spoon. It doesn't make much noise. BABY JORGAN: Hey! Listen up! The table quiets. BABY ELARA: I just wanted to say, to found family! Three cheers! BABY VETTE and BABY RISHA: Hooray! BABY QYZEN FESS and BABY MAKO: Hooray! BABIES AKAAVI, TORIAN, and ALL ASSEMBLED: Hooray! Happy American Thanksgiving!

I'm currently playing whack-a-mole with computer problems, leaving me with access only to what document portions I have backed up online. I will prevail. If Baby Sergeant Rusk can keep trying, so can I. BABY RISHA: This meeting of the Take the Credits and Run club is called to order. BABY RISHA surveys her associates. BABY RISHA: Tanno! No picking your nose! TANNO VIK: You gonna stop me? BABY VETTE: You have to do what Risha says. BABY TANNO VIK lowers his hand and glowers. BABY RISHA: Andronikos, you had a plan? BABY ANDRONIKOS: Well, Mr. Khem Val vetoed Blizz's plan to take daycare to space. If he'd gotten a little further in the process maybe we would have some rocket parts to work with. As it is we only have Vette's speeder. BABY VETTE, suspiciously: Which is mine. BABY RISHA: The point is, if we supercharge the... BABY VETTE: ...? BABY ANDRONIKOS: ...? BABY TANNO VIK: ...? BABY RISHA: I HAVE A SOLUTION. BABY RISHA runs up to KHEM VAL. BABY RISHA: Mr. Khem Val, you have to let us into daycare. KHEM VAL: I cannot. BABY RISHA: Can too! You have to do what I say. KHEM VAL walks up to the door and tries it. It's locked. KHEM VAL: I do not have the key. BABY RISHA: You have three hundred pounds of angry alien, though. KHEM VAL slams the door with his shoulder. KHEM VAL: It will not work. Daycare is reinforced against all comers. Truly the workmanship rivals the locksmiths of Yn and Chabosh. BABY RISHA: Wait, there were locksmiths at Yn and Chabosh? KHEM VAL: They were complex industrial centers at the time. BABY RISHA: As soon as you get that key, though. We're going in. KHEM VAL: You can't queue up demands for me to do later. BABY RISHA: Someday when I'm queen I will. All day long. BABY KOTH: Are we ever going to let those guys in? T7-01: Guys = who? BABY KOTH: You know, the ones who are always crowding the windows or slamming at the door? T7-01: Those = not problem // concerns = silly // Ha! Ha! BABY LANA: It's just that it's a little creepy. BABY KOTH: What if they're starving because all of the snacks are in here? BABY LANA: There must be some way to pacify them... BABY THERON, defensively: I outgrew pacifiers weeks ago! The children look at him. BABY THERON: What? ASSISTANT SENYA: Thus far they have not succeeded in breaching the door or windows. I would say they're not a threat. BABY LANA: I hope you're right. BABY KOTH: For all we know they're dying of snacklessness out there! Somebody has to do something! T7-01: Other children = return soon // Plans = in place BABY KOTH, anxiously: Plans for snacks, too? T7-01: Plans = include snacks BABY KOTH: Whew. Okay.

Oh, Theron's deeply in the unlucky-lucky camp. As for Marr, I'm horribly afraid FCD companions will continue not to die despite the terms of the new world, such that FCD is even safer than the world whose safety it was originally meant to spoof, and I'm...kind of okay with that. BABY BLIZZ runs up to a knot of children. He is waving a broad blue paper excitedly. BABY ANDRONIKOS: What’ve you got there, little guy? BABY BLIZZ: [incomprehensible jabbering] BABY TANNO VIK: No. BABY BLIZZ: [incomprehensible jabbering!] BABY ANDRONIKOS: The whole daycare? BABY VECTOR: Into a rocket ship? BABY BLIZZ begins a complex series of hand motions that seem to describe launching the daycare-ship into orbit, blowing up the Eternal Fleet that hangs in the distant upper atmosphere, and going forth to unspecified great things. BABY VECTOR: The nest tells us this may be viable. We have several notable engineers that can help. BABY TANNO VIK: You realize there’s only one of you, right? BABY VECTOR: It looks like we already have most of what we need… KHEM VAL: No. BABIES VECTOR, TANNO VIK, and ANDRONIKOS jump. BABY ANDRONIKOS: You really know how to ruin a good plan, Mr. Khem Val. BABY BLIZZ:[incomprehensible jabbering] - BABY DOC: Skadge! BABY SKADGE grunts. BABY DOC, unfazed: I have a business proposal for you! BABY SKADGE: No business. BABY DOC: I was just thinking. If you could just tell me in advance when you're going to beat up the other children, I can rescue them. BABY SKADGE: You. Runt. Rescue. From me. BABY DOC: Yep! The ladies will love it! Love me! BABY SKADGE knocks BABY DOC over with one meaty fist, and proceeds to sit on him. BABY DOC, wheezing: This wasn't part of our deal! BABY SKADGE: This is a better deal. BABY KIRA wanders by. BABY KIRA: Hey, Doc. Having trouble? BABY DOC: yes BABY KIRA: Would you even say you…need rescuing? BABY DOC: yes, darn it BABY KIRA: Ask nicely. BABY DOC: Can’t. Too many broken ribs. gasp You gotta get me out of here! BABY SKADGE shifts to trap BABY DOC’s one free arm. BABY KIRA makes a dangerous face and starts a mild Force push. BABY SKADGE: Fine, fine. Stoopid Jedi. BABY DOC: Great Jedi. Best Jedi. cough I think I need a doctor.

Now I want to see Baby Darth Marr sliding a little panel in his mask aside to permit a sippy cup of nice wholesome blue milk. BABY PIERCE: Hey. Talos. You're Imperial Reclamation Service, right? BABY TALOS: Why does this sound like a trap? BABY PIERCE: You are, then. Why don't we reclaim daycare for the Empire? T7-01: FCD = neutral territory BABY PIERCE: The land has to change with the times, Mister Teeseven. T7-01: FCD = neutral territory SCORPIO: I find your assertion unconvincing. Pierce, can you demonstrate that the Empire has a decisive advantage? BABY PIERCE: We can vote! BABY TALOS, recovering from cowering: Why, Pierce, that sounds downright civilized. BABY PIERCE: Thought you might like it. Lana! Are you for the Empire? BABY LANA: Always. BABY PIERCE: Xalek! Are you for the Empire? BABY XALEK grins fearsomely behind his mask. BABY XALEK: Yes. BABY PIERCE: Koth, are you for the Empire? BABY KOTH: Yes! Uh, which one? BABY PIERCE: Sith, like Lana, who is your friend and is also voting for us. BABY KOTH: Good enough for me. BABY PIERCE: HK series, Empire? HK-55, from the toybox: Affirmation: With pleasure, master! HK-51 is off and so has no opinion. M1-4X: This aggression will not stand! The Republic will never give up- HK-55's arm scrambles through the toys to M1-4X and removes his advanced prototype batteries. BABY PIERCE: Much better. Yuun? Empire? BABY YUUN: Yuun will oppose the Empire at all points. BABY PIERCE: You didn't say it in Basic so it doesn't count. Theron, you're the only one left. Empire? BABY THERON: I'm more of a Republic guy myself. BABY PIERCE: How would you know? You have never spoken to a Pubbie except that toy over there. And Mister Teeseven. And Yuun, I guess. None of which are actually people. BABY THERON: I'm a super secret spy! For the SIS! It counts! BABY PIERCE: SIS. You. BABY THERON: Well, they did stop taking my reports. Just because I accidentally spilled juice all over the last one... BABY PIERCE: They've probably disavowed you. You've got no one but us. BABY THERON: I'll never give up on the Republic! At least until a threat shows up that’s bigger than us both. Like that’ll ever happen. T7-01: Theron = very brave // Pierce = mean bully BABY THERON snaps. He runs to the toybox, slaps HK-55 aside, and restores M1-4X's advanced prototype batteries. BABY THERON and M1-4X: For the Republic! BABY PIERCE: Right. The toy box is officially a nerdy Republic zone. BABY THERON: And always will be.

BABY JAESA leans forward over the rudimentary hopscotch drawn in a dirt patch near the front walk. BABY JAESA: Mako, what do your implants do? BABY MAKO: Well, they let me connect to the Holonet anywhere. Or local area networks. BABY KOTH: So, uh, Theron. What do your implants do? BABY THERON: Spy stuff. And let me connect to local area networks. BABY MAKO stiffens. BABY MAKO: Hello? BABY JAESA: Uh, hello back? BABY THERON: Uh, hi. How did you get this frequency? BABY KOTH: What frequency? BABY MAKO: I asked you first. BABY JAESA: No, you didn't. BABY THERON: No, you didn't. BABY KOTH: Sure I did. ...Did what? BABY MAKO’s cybernetics spark. BABY MAKO: Ow! BABY THERON: You still there? BABY KOTH: Yes. BABY MAKO: Stupid… BABY JAESA: You're not even talking to me! You're ignoring me, just like everyone! BABY JAESA clenches tiny fists. BABY JAESA: Rrrrrrr! KHEM VAL: And, finally, no Teeseven to stop her. It will be as the avengers of Yn and Chabosh. BABY THERON, tapping his cybernetics: Well, uh, bye! BABY KOTH: Bye? BABY THERON: Oh, hi! BABY KOTH: Too weird. I'm out. - BABY JAESA is stomping around brandishing a stick with brightly colored ribbons wrapped around it to color it red. BABY JAESA: The Force will free me! KHEM VAL wipes a manly tear from his eye. BABY KIRA: Jaesa! Wait! BABY JAESA: You're mean, too! Sometimes. BABY KIRA: It was teasing Guss. That doesn't count. BABY JAESA: A meanie and a hipperkit! BABY KIRA: Ashara, get over here. Nadia, you too. BABY ASHARA: What's the problem? BABY JAESA: I've picked a side. NADIA GRELL, sending the disturbance and running in: Not the Dark Side!? BABY JAESA: It's the only way to win. BABY KIRA: But the Jedi have... BABY JAESA watches expectantly. BABY KIRA: That is...we have, uh... BABY ASHARA: Cookies. BABY KIRA: I thought it was Xalek who brought cookies. BABY ASHARA: Darn. You're right. NADIA GRELL: Listen, Jaesa. The Force is a big, complicated thing. But the Light Side of it won't try to kill you. BABY KIRA: Ooh, good point. BABY JAESA: You speak from authority as someone who's been a Jedi for...? NADIA GRELL: About three days? BABY JAESA: Yeah. Thought so. BABY JAESA brandishes her stick. BABY ASHARA: We can't be friends if you're a Sith. BABY JAESA: Why not? Everybody's pretending to get along nowadays. BABY KIRA: Except the Emperor. He's a jerk. BABY JAESA: Except the Emperor. He's a jerk. - But maybe he likes being a jerk! Maybe he’s allowed to! Maybe I have only begun to unlock the power of the Dark Side! NADIA GRELL: Whoa, girl. Step away from the sippy cup. BABY DARTH MARR: I will be your friend if you stay with the Dark Side. BABY JAESA: Can we do hopscotch together? BABY DARTH MARR: Sort of. BABY JAESA: Braid each other’s hair? BABY DARTH MARR: Not as such. BABY JAESA: Share our snacks at snack time? BABY DARTH MARR: I snack on the spirits of my fallen foes. Something I and Khem Val have in common, really. BABY JAESA: Ew. NADIA GRELL: You can do nice normal things with us instead, you just have to renounce the Dark Side first. BABY DARTH MARR: Unlimited power. NADIA GRELL: Long games of duck-duck-gundark. BABY JAESA: Okay, fine. BABY JAESA painstakingly unravels the red ribbon from her stick and neatly rolls it up. BABY JAESA: There is no emotion, only peace. BABY DARTH MARR: Fine. See if I invite you to my next crushing victory.

The benefits of CBT cannot be stressed enough. BABY JORGAN is standing over BABY IRESSO, who is struggling to do little pushups with one knee on the ground. BABY JORGAN: Twelve! Thirteen! BABY IRESSO: Ow! BABY JORGAN: You're a disgrace to this uniform, Iresso! BABY ELARA sweeps in. BABY ELARA: Leave Iresso alone! BABY JORGAN: I'm the CO. I have to whip him into shape. BABY ELARA: Who made you CO? BABY JORGAN: In the absence of Republic command I stepped into the role. BABY ELARA: Well, maybe I could be CO instead. BABY JORGAN: But I'm better at it. BABY ELARA: You don't know that. BABY JORGAN: Do too. BABIES ELARA and JORGAN: Mister Khem Val! Mister Khem Val! KHEM VAL looks up from his lunchbox. BABY JORGAN: Which one of us should be CO? Me, obviously. KHEM VAL: On the battlefields of Yn and Chabosh I arranged for our most cunning warrior to command, by killing every less worthy officer I found. Better to destroy weak "allies" than let them lead us to ruin. BABIES ELARA and JORGAN exchange glances. BABY ELARA: We decided, Mr. Khem Val. Not to let you pick. Uh, bye! - BABY LANA: All right, everyone. Let’s build. BABY PIERCE: Got the plans right here. If I were going to storm a tower I would want to storm a tower like this one. HK-51: Hello, master! Would you like to educate organics? BABY KOTH: I’m placing him as a defensive turret. You know, in case he actually does something. HK-51: Passive-aggressive query: Can you spell ‘degrading servitude’? BABY LANA: No. Can you? HK-51: Ultimatum: I’m asking the questions here. BABY KOTH: And, set in place. Do we have more blocks? BABY YUUN: Yuun has found blocks from the kitchen and closet to add to our own. BABY LANA: Good work. Here, if we build against the cubbyhole wall we can make our toys go farther. BABY TALOS: I got M1-4X! I excavated him from the toybox. M1-4X: Wait! What is this tower for? BABY LANA: It’s necessary. For the Empire. M1-4X: I heard that! BABY LANA: I mean, for the good of us all. BABY KOTH: Here, lean him up against HK-55. HK-55: Objection: I cannot work with a Republic dog! M1-4X: I cannot work with an amoral slave to the hedonist scoundrels of the Empire! BABY LANA: I think I should be offended. BABY KOTH: It’s fine, guys. We’re making the tallest toy tower in daycare. HK-51, sullenly: Declaration: It’s the only toy tower in daycare. And I’m on the bottom floor. BABY XALEK: I fail to see the point of this tower. BABY XALEK crawls up and pulls HK-51 out of place. The tower comes down in a chaos of falling blocks and droid parts. BABY XALEK tips over. HK-51 jounces hard out of his hands. HK-51: Observation: That was an ‘L’ you pushed, master. That is not how ‘degrading servitude’ starts at all! HK-51’s voice gets suddenly colder. HK-51: Initiating deletion sequence: L. HK-51 lights up and shoots a high-powered plasma bolt at BABY LANA. The last falling pieces of wreckage absorb the damage. There is a moment of stunned silence. BABY KOTH: I knew he could do something! HK-51: Question: Would you like to try again? BABY XALEK: This one is mine. BABY XALEK makes a game effort at stuffing HK-51 into his shirt. Failing that, he hangs onto it in one three-clawed hand. BABY THERON: That combination cannot be healthy. BABY PIERCE: So are we going to finish the tower or not? BABY LANA: I think it’s doubly important to demonstrate our will to prevail. BABY LANA sticks her tongue out at BABY XALEK.

In short? Because it’s more fun this way. I wouldn’t enjoy writing older children nearly as much. FCD has always played fast and loose with timing; the only child ever to age on record was Risha, who had a birthday once. Heck, she might have been lying about having a birthday just to get the cake. All right, a special one today. Spoilers for the Rise of the Hutt Cartel and Shadow of Revan expansions, as well as (the usual) Knights of the Fallen Empire.