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Patch Notes Roast.


Cappn

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General patch notes:

 

HUTTBALL

 

- No other classes beside Sith Inquisitor / Jedi Consular will be allowed to grab the Huttball in Huttball. This will skip the inevitable “Downtime” that the ball is fumbled about and is eventually passed to a Sith Inquisitor / Jedi Consular so they may Force Sprint away from everyone else.

 

- Being killed by traps in Huttball now plays the cartoon “Disappointment” theme and also various music death scores from several Mario titles.

 

VOIDSTAR

 

-The bridges in Voidstar now have a chance to malfunction when a player is knocked off. Due to the age and lack of maintenance of the Voidstars systems the bridges will now retract, dropping all players to their death.

 

-When the door bomb detonates all players within 50 meters will be killed.

 

-Voidstar now automatically interrupts you randomly at 8.0/8.0 of bomb placement to ease the frustration of a Sith Inquisitor / Jedi Consular Force Sprinting from extreme distance and interrupting you.

 

Sith Warrior: Sith Warriors upon reaching 100 rage will go berserk, losing control of their character, and attacking all other players around him. The effect lasts until killed.

 

Sith Juggernaut: Juggernauts light saber has now been replaced with a floppy pool toy to visually simulate the amount of damage the enemy player is receiving.

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Sith Inquisitor: Due to the sheer number of Sith Inquisitors, the class will be renamed to fit their endless tide of players. “Random Sith 1234567890” is an example.

Due to the electric conductivity of Sith Inquisitors other Inquisitors using force lighting based attacks will redirect to other Sith Inquisitors.

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Jedi Knight: Ghosts of Jedi past will now appear at the bottom left of the screen in the form of a small paper clip and offer random yet useless advice to the Jedi Knight.

 

Jedi Guardian: Guardians light saber has now been replaced with a floppy pool toy to visually simulate the amount of damage the enemy player is receiving.

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Jedi Consular

 

Jedi Sage: All Sage attacks now have “Projectile Rocks” somewhere in their visual effect.

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Smuggler

Dirty Kicks animation has replaced all other physical attack moves.

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Imperial Agent:

 

Sniper: Snipers now have to balance a constantly moving meter of Trigger Squeeze and Breathing after every attack in order to hit their target.

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Bounty Hunter:

Upon reaching 100% heat bounty hunters will now explode. Killing themselves and damaging all players around him.

 

Mercenary: Mercenaries will now be permanently stuck in their hunched over “Missile launching” casting animation. As such all other damage dealing abilities have been removed from their class as they were not being used.

 

Trooper: All trooper abilities have been adjusted similar to mortar volley and now spend half their cast time “Preparing themselves” and the other half actually doing damage.

Edited by Cappn
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Bounty Hunter:

Upon reaching 100% heat bounty hunters will now explode. Killing themselves and damaging all players around him.

 

This sounds ... interesting. Perhaps slightly modified for your expandable .... expendable companion.

 

Mercenary: Mercenaries will now be permanently stuck in their hunched over “Missile launching” casting animation. As such all other damage dealing abilities have been removed from their class as they were not being used.

 

Phew ... for a second I was concerned, then I noticed this does not apply to the Powertech, who in the future will force, scratch that, Rocket Jump to his enemies and then Rocket Punch melee everything in sight, friend or foe.

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