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Episode III: Revenge of EA (Skit)


SaerethDL

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Hey guys I was in the Christmas spirit and had free time so I created this small parody of interpretation of what I've seen about swtor on the forums lately.

 

If you don't get it, this is a reenactment of Episode III on planet mustafar with Padme, Anakin, and Obiwan, I suggest you watch it first before reading this post.

 

Part I

 

Part II

 

Chapter 1: The fallen empire.

 

Bioware(Anakin): I saw your unsub thread. What are you doing out here?

Subscriber(Padme): I was so worried about swtor. Reddit told me terrible things.

Bioware: What things?

Subscriber: He said you turned to the dark side. That you... killed swtor.

Bioware: Reddit is trying to turn you against me.

Subscriber: He cares about us.

Bioware: Us?

Subscriber: He knows. He wants to help you. BIoware, all I want is your trust.

Bioware: Trust won't save you, only my new sub rewards can do that.

Subscriber: At what cost? You're a good company, don't do this!

Bioware: I won't lose you the way I lost most subscribers. I've become more wealthy than any subscriber has ever dreamed of. And I'm doing it for you, to protect you.

Subscriber: Come away with me. Help me raise this mmo. Leave everything else behind while we still can.

Bioware: Don't you see? We don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the forums. I am more powerful than Gabe newell, I can overthrow him. And together you and I can rule the internet. Make things the way we want them to be.

Subscriber: [steps away] I can't believe what I'm hearing. Reddit was right. You've changed.

Bioware: I don't want to hear any more about Reddit! The subscribers turned against me, don't you turn against me.

Subscriber: I don't know you anymore. Bioware, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow.

Bioware: Because of Reddit?

Subscriber: Because of what you've done! What you plan to do. Stop, stop now. Come back. I love you!

Bioware: [seeing Reddit] LIAR!

Subscriber: No!

Bioware: You're with them! You brought them here to kill me! [begins to choke Subscriber]

Subscriber: No, Bioware--

Reddit(Obi-Wan): Let her go, Bioware!

Subscriber: Bioware...

Reddit: LET HER GO!

[bioware releases Subscriber?, who collapses]

Bioware: You turned subscribers against me!

Reddit: You have done that yourself.

Bioware: You will not take subscribers from me!

Reddit: Your anger and your lust for money have already done that. You have allowed this "EA" to twist your mind until now... until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.

Bioware: Don't lecture me, Reddit. I see through the lies of the subscribers. I do not fear EA as you do! I have brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire!

Reddit: Your new empire?

Bioware: Don't make me kill you...

Reddit: Bioware, my allegiance is to Swtor... to Star Wars!

BIoware: If you're not with me... then you're my enemy!

Reddit: Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.

Bioware: You will try.

[Lightsaber battle begins]

 

Part 2: [battle comes to a close, leaving Bioware grasping for life]

Reddit: Bioware, Electronic Arts is evil!

Bioware: From my point of view, the passionate subscribers that care for the good of this game are evil!

Reddit: Then you are lost!

Reddit: You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would oppose Electronic Arts, not join them in greed. Bring multiplayer back to this game, not leave it singleplayer.

Bioware: I HATE YOU!

Reddit: You were my favorite company Bioware. I loved you.

Edited by SaerethDL
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Long story short...if you feel a need to defend BW regarding this expac you won't find it amusing. If you do not feel such a need or are actually in agreement with the sentiment its worth a chuckle. It's not a knee slapper mind you, but it is chuckle worthy.

 

That is actually one of the ways you know the satire is working. If it doesn't get a negative reaction from those who would defend the target, it failed.

Edited by Ghisallo
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