Disastersaurus Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 ALRIGHT YOU YELLOW-BELLIES, TIME TO LEARN HOW TO VANGUARD! This is the Extreme Master Disaster KF Guide to Vanguarding, and I will teach you how to be the best Vanguard ever in only a few easy steps! Just follow these instructions and you will be -the- best Vanguard! 1. Equipment is important. Make sure your gun is clean and working, your armor has no rusted parts, and your pack is in good condition. Always wear a helmet; you are not Jace Malcom. Also, you're going to need safety pins. 2. Find the nearest group of Sith Lords. I hear they like teahouses. 3. Calmly approach the Sith Lords from behind and sit down among them; ask about their wives and children, tell them their facial corruption looks fantastic. Ask Malgus who does his hair! 4. The Sith Lords probably won't like this; if so, good! They are Empire scum. As they turn on their lightsabers, speak a wicked one-liner. I personally suggest "You jive turkeys! I'm cooler than the other side of a pillow on Hoth!" 5. The Sith Lords will no doubt be set aflame by the sweet burn. Harvest their charred lightsabers from their burning corpses. 6. Use the safety pins from step one to attach the lightsabers to your face and back. You'll need at least a dozen; if there weren't a dozen Sith lords at the teahouse, go find some more. Maybe a bookstore. 7. Leap off the nearest cliff and activate all the lightsabers. Spin rapidly to maintain vertical momentum and enter the atmosphere. Find an Imperial ship and approach it. 8. After carving your way through the hull [with your teeth, the lightsabers were a distraction; also, keep your helmet on! Safety first], eliminate any crewmembers you see. 8. Forward-tumble your way to the bridge. 9. Once you reach the bridge, find the captain and rub his/her head against the command console to input your name. If you don't have a name, use one of my premades: Sheriff Lawpunch, Admiral Explosion, or Joe the Unclean. 10. Eat the captain's clothes and then tell them to inform their favorite pet of what you've done here. Let them free; the message must be sent. 11. Pilot the ship to Tattooine. If you don't know where Tattooine is, activate the star map, preferably with drunken screaming. 12. Crash into a moisture farm. Climb out and fall asleep in the ruined wreckage of a family's livelihood. You're now a Vanguard! Take this knowledge and proudly serve the Republic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchuneiderMidas Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 so.... a Jawa mentoring Vanguards ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disastersaurus Posted December 26, 2011 Author Share Posted December 26, 2011 so.... a Jawa mentoring Vanguards ? Jawa Vanguard, make it happen Bioware. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ekyfoll Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 aahahahaahahahahahaah Great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctorkaba Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 Man when I first clicked on this, I said wow, I really needed a vanguard guide! After I got finished with this... well... I still don't know what to say.... (this was too funny though ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cidt Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 You made my f****** day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
failmonkey Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 Jawa Vanguard, make it happen Bioware. This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asifakbarali Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 joe the unclean lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xezkaiel Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Holy freaking ****....ROFL. Good post sir! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xezkaiel Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Jawa Vanguard, make it happen Bioware. Also I support this...I vote we can opt to lose the ability to romance and be a non human species. Bring us Talz too while ur at it =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HibashiraSakai Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Best post ever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NomineImperator Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 I took this creed to heart. This is how I play my Vanguard every day. It has served me well this past month, I have burned many a Sith to death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandonheato Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 roflmao bro!!! i can't stop laughing! +1 from me...hahhahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gertbeefrobe Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Typical day in Havoc squad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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