Apache Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 To me there is a vast difference between your personal life and your life. From what I can tell the poster did not express a need to be in a guild that he could share the most intimate details of his personal life with. But a guild that he could speak about the day to day things that have happened or happening without issue or fear of saying the wrong thing. I would hope the poster has found that community. He should have a lot of choice as guilds that have issues with sexuality, colour of your skin or your religion tend not to be that successful. I certainly would not be a part of a guild like that and I would guess I am in the majority. While I understand and respect what you are trying to say, I have to disagree to a point. In my opinion, a persons sexual preference IS intimate and an actual part of a persons Personal life. Its a far cry from telling the guildies that you have to run to the store for eggs and you'll be right back. Gamers who open themselves up so much and so easily are bound to find ridicule and heartache often. And I don't care if its your sexual preference, your stand on politics, to your religion to your dental hygiene. There are just things that as gamers we should keep to ourselves until we get to know people. Not just blurt it our in General Chat and then come to the General Forums and Blurt it all out again, and then wonder whats going on. Heck, Ive been with my guild since the server merge and I only just recently told a couple of them which City I live in! Maybe in another year I can talk to them about what brand of toilet paper I like! We are Gamers. We run FP's and tell jokes. I don't need nor want to know wether or not they believe in creation or evolution, and I could care less what their sexual orientation is. Just none of my business and far too personal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caelrie Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Heck, Ive been with my guild since the server merge and I only just recently told a couple of them which City I live in! Maybe in another year I can talk to them about what brand of toilet paper I like! We are Gamers. We run FP's and tell jokes. I don't need nor want to know wether or not they believe in creation or evolution, and I could care less what their sexual orientation is. Just none of my business and far too personal. You mean in all that time you've never once ever mentioned that you have a girlfriend or wife, or that you found a certain woman in a TV show, in-game or in a movie attractive? Not even one time? I don't believe you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 You mean in all that time you've never once ever mentioned that you have a girlfriend or wife, or that you found a certain woman in a TV show, in-game or in a movie attractive? Not even one time? I don't believe you. I don't recall if I have. Its definitely possible though. Sometimes I have one cup of coffee too many and get a little chatty, but Im more cautious about what I say in chat about my life than most, and even if I did, Ive been with the same group of people for over a year and I sure as heck didn't paste it all over General Chat or the General Forums. But I think that you are getting the wrong idea about what I am trying to say. For example, I could say that David Hasselhoff is a good looking guy, and suddenly all the usual David Hasselhoff jokes get going OR.. I could say that David Hasselhoff is a good looking guy because Im a gay man, and get a completely different response Do you see what Im trying to say? One is just a statement, the other is revealing. Revealing too much about yourself too soon could lead to harsh encounters and hurt feelings. We don't live in a perfect world. Some people have strong opinions on what they perceive as controversial issues such as homosexuality to name but one. And they can and will react harshly. All Im trying to say is just protect yourself. You cant control how people think, but you can control what you tell them. Just don't tell anyone anything personal about yourself in a video game until you get to know them. At least a little Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helig Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 And trust me, even a straight person would get attacked for saying they are straight on the internet. Indeed. Saw a guy getting called homophobe just because he asserted that he was straight. Would be funny if it were a playful jab, but those people seemed to be srs business. Also, you, including but not limited to, aren't straight, gay, omnisexual, man, woman, transgender in an MMO. You are a person and a player. Everything else is irrelevant, unless you make it relevant. There's no point looking for a "gay-friendly" social guild if you're gay. A regular social guild would do. Sure, it may have some homophobes, but if that's a true social guild, they'll be asked to keep their bigotry to themselves by the guild leadership. For example, I met a person during questing on an alt, we got talking, they were clever and funny, and I friendlisted them. We exchanged e-mails and kept talking. He came out as gay, and I said that, despite me being somewhat of a traditionalist straight, this does not affect my opinion about him as an individual. We remained in touch for a long time after that, playing together and talking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caelrie Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I don't recall if I have. Its definitely possible though. Sometimes I have one cup of coffee too many and get a little chatty, but Im more cautious about what I say in chat about my life than most, and even if I did, Ive been with the same group of people for over a year and I sure as heck didn't paste it all over General Chat or the General Forums. But I think that you are getting the wrong idea about what I am trying to say. For example, I could say that David Hasselhoff is a good looking guy, and suddenly all the usual David Hasselhoff jokes get going OR.. I could say that David Hasselhoff is a good looking guy because Im a gay man, and get a completely different response Do you see what Im trying to say? One is just a statement, the other is revealing. Revealing too much about yourself too soon could lead to harsh encounters and hurt feelings. We don't live in a perfect world. Some people have strong opinions on what they perceive as controversial issues such as homosexuality to name but one. And they can and will react harshly. All Im trying to say is just protect yourself. You cant control how people think, but you can control what you tell them. Just don't tell anyone anything personal about yourself in a video game until you get to know them. At least a little The point is that we display our heterosexuality constantly, in every medium, because we never have to think about it. That's why it's inappropriate to tell him to censor his own interactions so that his homosexuality is never revealed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vingmotor Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 looking for understanding and respect on the interwebs is like peeing against wind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 The point is that we display our heterosexuality constantly, in every medium, because we never have to think about it. That's why it's inappropriate to tell him to censor his own interactions so that his homosexuality is never revealed. Oh Ive never told the OP to censor his/her interactions. The OP has already made up his/her mind. Ive already stated in a previous post that I think that the OP is nothing more than an attention mongeror. The OP went out of his/her way to post in General Chat that he/she was a homosexual looking for a homosexual guild, and then went on to post again about it in these General Forums for no other reason than to incite responses. The OPs actions and this entire thread has been nothing more than an attention grab in my opinion. And a successful one at that. Although I could be wrong. After that, all Ive been trying to tell people is to just use caution when dealing with people over the internet in a video game. The internet is a cruel place. Riddled with all kinds of meanies that are well protected behind their cozy little monitors and keyboards. if you give them the chance, they can hurl all kinds of harshness in our direction, and even though we can just put them on ignore, we can not un-see what we have seen. Their damage will have already been done and feelings will have been hurt. What you call censorship, I call caution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helig Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 The internet is a cruel place. Riddled with all kinds of meanies that are well protected behind their cozy little monitors and keyboards. if you give them the chance, they can hurl all kinds of harshness in our direction, and even though we can just put them on ignore, we can not un-see what we have seen. Their damage will have already been done and feelings will have been hurt. What you call censorship, I call caution. Thick skin>caution. When I was younger, I was pretty sensitive to this kind of stuff. But, once I learned to take Internet attacks for what they are - inconsequential outbursts - my experience online has improved drastically. Being immune to damage>avoiding damage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlrikFassbauer Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Next step for societies after accepting homosexuality should imho be accepting other things as well ... Like disabilities, for example. But still - there's a long way to go. Even racism is still out there, even although there is really no reason for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmjarec Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 The point is that we display our heterosexuality constantly, in every medium, because we never have to think about it. That's why it's inappropriate to tell him to censor his own interactions so that his homosexuality is never revealed. We do in other areas and yes we do in sexuality. I dont go spewing off about bdsm or certain types of ****. Its just not for a video game chat. Theres a time and place for it and its definately not ingame Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jedip_enguin Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Just FYI, I forsee a lock in this threads future. I find it strange and slightly disheartning that somebody would need to look for a 'gay friendly' guild in this day and age, are there seriously guilds out there that advertise being 'gay unfriendly'? To the OP I would say, while I agree those who gave you abuse were wrong to do so, is it possible (even on a subconscious level) that you went looking to provoke this kind of reaction given your obvious prior knowledge of the internet and what a cesspool general chat usually is? I only ask because this becuase it is a behaviour I have noticed in some of my gay friends from time to time, that just becuase they can be openly gay in this day and age, they feel the need to go out of their way to not only be conspicuous about it, but often be outright provocative about it in the presence of people they know are uncomfortable with their particular lifestyle choices in an effort to make a scene for the sake of it. Maybe those guys were just drama queens (pardon the double entendre) and I apologise if this genuinely was not your intent, but it does make me curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackardin Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Today I was trying to find a social guild for my alts on the republic side on my server. I was simply looking for a gay friendly social guild. As soon as I said it I was attacked. Partially by people who are obviously homophobic. But there were also people who based on what they were saying I don't think they were homophobic but didnt understand why I would actively seek this out. When I explained that I didnt want to say the "wrong thing" and get kicked by a homphobic guild leader things got worse. I know people generally don't see why sexuality and gaming need to be together. But this is a social guild that I am looking for and the idea that the conversation may never go to a point that I mention my husband or something is unlikely. There are immature players in the game. There are kids in the game. There are those that believe they are smarter then they are, and will continue to do so because, as you saw, they are incapable of reasoning beyond their own nose. We see them all the time on this board. When someone attacks you in such a way in a public chat, say, "thanks for sharing?", "thank you for your opinion", and just carry on. In short, ignore them. You will not win arguing with irrational logic and illogical rationale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackardin Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 We do in other areas and yes we do in sexuality. I dont go spewing off about bdsm or certain types of ****. Its just not for a video game chat. Theres a time and place for it and its definately not ingame Case in point. LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackardin Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I think I found my guild though. Awesome. Now you can turn general chat back off and start enjoying the game again. Mine is never on unless absolutely necessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlrikFassbauer Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I find it strange and slightly disheartning that somebody would need to look for a 'gay friendly' guild in this day and age, are there seriously guilds out there that advertise being 'gay unfriendly'? Well ... In the "Check-Ins", no-one has answered my "HSP check ins" thread yet. And that, although I'm a member of a community and a network of HSPs ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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