Bleakmage Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 GNNN (ugh ) has uncovered 'evidence' that it was not the Sith Empire that was responsible for the destruction of Taris, but in fact, it was a Jedi conspiracy! I can 'prove' it. 1: That was, like, a way long time ago, or something Ok, I'll get serious. It it a long regarded fact that the Republican Propaganda Network is just as robust if not more insidious than the Empire itself. I know know, that's a bold statement, but let me make very clear the distinction between our methods: The Empire, while insidious, is usually more out in the open about certain things, whereas the Republicans prefer to lie constantly through their teeth. "We didn't fire first," or "Those Waco's put themselves on fire," or some other nonsense is a common Republican catchphrase. I'll cut through the bull. It is well know that this so-called 'Darth' Malik was in fact a Jedi Knight, and once a Jedi Central Intelligence Spy, always a Jedi Central Intelligence Spy. At least the Empire openly kills their enemies. We don't know for certain what the ENTIRE PLANET of Taris did to incur the 'wrath' of the Jedi, but you can be certain of what the Jedi's answer was. I encourage you to visit the planet of Taris for any object lessons delivered courtesy of the the holovids of the ancient Jedi destruction of Taris are not enough. Remember, citizens of the Empire, we must be ever vigilant against the lies of the Republican scum. That is all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleakmage Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 Nothing new! Now watch this hologram! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (edited) Welcome viewers, It has been reported from Imperial sources that a propaganda campaign to smear the good work achieved by the Republic goes unrewarded. it is reported that a statement read out on a popular Imperial News network, accuses Jedi for the past carnage on Taris. I interviewed Jedi Master Reboof to hear the councils verdict one such matters. Interviewer : "Master Reboof can I ask your humble opinion on recent stirrings and accusations?" Reboof "there is no peace only lies, its in the Sith nature to try and persuade cultural imbalance to gain support for their true agenda", there is clearly nothing to support this nor is it fact. The Jedi would never behave in such a wreckless manor". Interviewer "Also can you comment on your recent fine but Coruscant Borough council in regards to placing wrong recycled rubbish into wrong containers for collection?" Reboof "No comment... Edited March 1, 2012 by SNEAKYSIX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guildrum Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 The Republic News Network (RNN) has this special report. Facts are important in newscasts. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleakmage Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 This just in: Once a Jedi always a Jedi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guildrum Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 This just in: Once a Jedi always a Jedi And once a liar always a liar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruliya Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Thanks Dave. Hello and welcome back to the GNNN! I'm Rachel McNotevul. And we have a follow up report to the Jedi conspiracy to destroy Taris over 300 years ago! Some say there were dissidents on Dantooine, others say it was all a Mandalorian plot to take over the planet. That was up until the planet was decimated by the so-called- Sith Lord Malek! Was this a butchering by the Sith? OR, was it simply a Jedi spy, crushing rebel Jedi leaders on Dantooine, with orders from the Jedi council on Courascant? We'll have more at 11, back to you Dave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNEAKYSIX Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (edited) breaking news,,,,, ITS reported that a cargo ship hijacked by smugglers have stolen the contents of patch 1.2...... Its believed the cargo vessel Adventus was borded and raided while temporarily dropping out of hyperspace on route to a galaxy far far away. The patch that some believe will cure many problems for gamers on their distant homeworld. A patch that could be worth thousands on the underworld marker. Rummours from Hutta suggest a faction is releasing parts of the update on various media sites. The contents we have intercepted so far can not be confirmed as true or false. In notes it reads : Update 1.2 : @ Wookie T-shirts avaialbe from starter world venders. @ Noob Cannon of Noobitude. Over powered device for struggling troopers. @ CTRL + ALT + DEL / End SWTOR for all users unhappy. @ Instant Force slap, a hotkey auto signed to be used to punish anyone in game, overly spamming, moaning or being a troll. @ Jawa mini Pets and domestic slaves on completion of Tatooine quests. Edited March 1, 2012 by SNEAKYSIX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tovenar Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Breaking news Rachel! Dave is unavailable at the moment due to.....problems *Heelllpppp....being chooooookeeeeddd* Ohh..ah ha ha ha! That Dave always a Joker Rachel! It appears that the republic noob network has reported a hijacking of the ship containing the contents of Patch 1.2. However we have evidence that it was the Jedi Council who did this. In an exclusive interview with Jedi Warcceror Hunter Satele Shan, we dig for the truth! Stay tuned. All right, giving it back to you Dave! Dave? Dave! Oh dear..... Back to you Rachel. *force choke* Rachel? God dam my force Tourretes Syndrome *sob....ohh god...I can't have friends!* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleakmage Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 This just in! In a game of Sabbacc, some cards run fast and smooth, others catch on fire, but not in good I just won alot of money way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guildrum Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Thanks Dave. Hello and welcome back to the GNNN! I'm Rachel McNotevul. And we have a follow up report to the Jedi conspiracy to destroy Taris over 300 years ago! Some say there were dissidents on Dantooine, others say it was all a Mandalorian plot to take over the planet. That was up until the planet was decimated by the so-called- Sith Lord Malek! Was this a butchering by the Sith? OR, was it simply a Jedi spy, crushing rebel Jedi leaders on Dantooine, with orders from the Jedi council on Courascant? We'll have more at 11, back to you Dave. /Slice No, it isn't. You guys suck at news reports, you know that right? Sincerely, William Terence Shaffer, Galactic Chronicle Reporter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tovenar Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 /Slice No, it isn't. You guys suck at news reports, you know that right? Sincerely, William Terence Shaffer, Galactic Chronicle Reporter Dave is dead! Try being more respectful our I will sic my frost mage on you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruliya Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 /Slice No, it isn't. You guys suck at news reports, you know that right? Sincerely, William Terence Shaffer, Galactic Chronicle Reporter As you can see, our friends over at RNNN(Republic Noob News Network) can only resort to slander! Who else is in on this Republic Cover-Up? For more intel, we go live to Force-Choke-Steve. Steve? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viewtifuldee Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 I'm assuming the Galactic News Network is the Star Wars Universe equivalent of Fox News... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNCommand Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 I'm assuming the Galactic News Network is the Star Wars Universe equivalent of Fox News... No no no no, this is the equivalent of some 9/11 conspiracy report, if Galactic News Network was like Fox News they would be calling the Jedi for cowards for talking about peace and advocating complete destruction of the Sith Empire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleakmage Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 Frost Giants! Oh noes yaw! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleakmage Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 No no no no, this is the equivalent of some 9/11 conspiracy report, if Galactic News Network was like Fox News they would be calling the Jedi for cowards for talking about peace and advocating complete destruction of the Sith Empire Well said sir. I tip my both real and fictional hat to you (or helmet or mask thingy) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eillack Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Breaking News! This isn't the correct forum to be posting in. More details at 11. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleakmage Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 Breaking News! This isn't the correct forum to be posting in. More details at 11. News Flash! What? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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