MaximusSuperior Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 I'd say that they should send Jaesa to school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegalord Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Hmm, dropping vette off at school, taking broonmark for a walk, sending the fury to the shop, unclogging the 'freshers, a trip to the movies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doozzer Posted March 27, 2012 Author Share Posted March 27, 2012 What do you mean, "Dropping Vette off at school?" I WAS RAISED ON THE STREETS, *****. School of hard knocks with a major in grand theft and a minor in petty crime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rohanshot Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 (edited) What do you mean, "Dropping Vette off at school?" I WAS RAISED ON THE STREETS, *****. School of hard knocks with a major in grand theft and a minor in petty crime. Well you do have that...empty headedness to you. Edited March 27, 2012 by Rohanshot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaytahn Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Which is why of course it would be so funny to be taking her to school Mal would drop her off at boarding school just to be rid of her, you know he'd do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doozzer Posted March 27, 2012 Author Share Posted March 27, 2012 I GET NO RESPECT! This story's about to be short one cute twi'lek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doozzer Posted March 27, 2012 Author Share Posted March 27, 2012 (edited) LET'S PLAY HUTTBALL! Tell them the winners may eat my translator. Servant One: The Wrath and company were at the Huttball match. Servant Two: Kind of. Servant One: Huh? Servant Two: 3 minute game. Frogdogs scored 6-0 in the first 3 minutes. One of those all-inquisitor teams where the assassins just daisy-chain the ball to the goal line. Servant One: Oh. She is gonna be pissed. They bought box seats for that game. Servant Two: Yep. Servant One: So what's she doing now? Servant Two: Drunk in the parking lot, picking a fight. Servant One: With who? Servant Two: The Frogdogs. Servant One: This won't end well, will it? Servant Two: If you bought box seats to a 3 minute huttball match, you'd be pretty bummed out too. "HEY CLOWN CAR! YEA, I'M TALKIN' TO YOU!" The Wrath shouted. "Excuse me, did you just call me Clown Car?" The Assassin turned around, about to put the keys in his Fury. "YEA THAT'S RIGHT, BRING YOUR WHOLE VILLAGE PEOPLE CREW OVER HERE WITH YOUR LITTLE INDIAN FEATHER HATS, YOU PASTY *** BALL-HOGGING FROGDOG POLE-DANCING DOUBLE SABER STRIPPEROBIC *****. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE DUE ON STAGE DOWN AT CHIPPENDALES, DOES YOUR TRANSVESTITE TAXIDERMIST APPRENTICE DRESS YOU, OR DID BIOWARE DESIGN THAT COSTUME, YOU MARDI-GRAS FLOAT RIDING POST-OP TRANNY?" The Wrath swore, with all the fluent elegance of total alcoholic inebriation. "Actually, Bioware did design my gear, and its all battlemaster, scrub." The assassin returned. "YOU SHOULD HAVE CUSTOM-MODDED A SLAVE DANCER OUTFIT AND WORN THAT TO YOUR JUNIOR PROM INSTEAD, IT WOULD HAVE MADE BOTH YOUR GAY DADS PROUD, YOU COULD FARM UP THE SOCIAL POINTS THROUGH THE HOLE IN THE STALL AT THE KESSEL RUN TRUCKSTOP BATHROOM, YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MALE BURLESQUE DANCER." The Wrath slurred. Damn, she is really going off tonight. She's not that drunk. She's just really pissed. Vette, where are you anyways? Under the ship. Just wait. Huh? Just wait. Trust me. Its good. "You got an attitude problem, lady. You looking for a fight? I could make my 1v1 medal off you in a heartbeat." The assassin sneered. "OH YEA, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THAT ON THE ELEVEN OCLOCK HOLONEWS. TOP FROGDOG PLAYER PROVOKED INTO STREET FIGHT AGAINST DRUNK GIRL WITH PINK LIGHTSABER. YEA, I CAN'T WAIT TO FIGHT YOU. HOW IS IT THAT YOU KILL PEOPLE AGAIN? PURPLE LIGHTNING? THAT MUST BE ENTERTAINING. I'D OFFER TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AFTERWARDS, BUT I DON'T THINK YOU'RE INTO GIRLS. FIGHTING YOU MUST BE LIKE BEING A FAT GROUPIE AT A PRINCE CONCERT- YOU WAIT THROUGH PURPLE RAIN AND WHEN YOU GET TO THE BACKSTAGE HE'S ALREADY LEFT WITH THE HOT GIRL, AND THE ONLY ONE LEFT THAT WANTS YOU IS A ROADIE LOOKING FOR A CHEAP HAND JOB. YOU SHOULD CALL UP QUEEN, I BET THEY COULD USE A PYROTECHNICIAN THAT CAN DO GAY STUFF LIKE SHOOT PURPLE SPARKS OUT HIS ***, YOU HOMOEROTIC HUMAN ROMAN CANDLE." The Wrath swore. Well, we used to be pretty LGBT friendly in this story. Used to be. We still are. Just wait. "My lord, I don't think provoking him into a fight is a wise idea. Assassins specialize in 1v1 combat, and he is well geared." Quinn advised. "He's got a point." Pierce reluctantly agreed. "honk bruuuuuu ruuuuu rrrrrrrrrr urrrrr rrrrrrrrr uuuurrruuurrrrrrr rrrruuuuuuu honk ruuuu." (I find these amateur displays of curmudgeonly pugilisim to be distasteful and barbaric. This horrific bloodsport you call huttball backpedals upon the merits of civilization and degrades us all.) "What did he say?" Jaesa asked. "No idea." Pierce shrugged. "Where's Vette?" Quinn asked. "HEY SHUT UP. THIS GUY'S NEVER FOUGHT ANYBODY IN HIS LIFE. HEY CHIEF SPRINT-PASS, HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM YOU COULDN'T BUBBLE OUT OF WITH A COOLDOWN? IT MUST BE NICE TO BE ABLE TO RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING EVERY 20 SECONDS. WERE YOU CAPTAIN OF YOUR HIGH SCHOOL TRACK TEAM, OR DID YOU JUST LEARN TO RUN FAST AFTER THE JOCKS TRIED TO GIVE YOU A SWIRLEY WHEN THEY CAUGHT YOU WEARING WOMENS' UNDERWEAR IN THE LOCKER ROOM, YOU FLAMBOYANT CLOSET CASE!" "I don't have to stand here and take abuse from some drunk loser like you. Why don't you learn to play huttball yourself, jerk." The assassin turned, got into his Fury, put up the ramp, and powered up the engines. "Well, at least HE had enough sense to avoid an altercation. That was very sloppy, my lord." Quinn lectured. "Now, where did that miscreant Vette run off too?" "Been here the whole time." Vette replied, lying in a puddle of grease in the space where the assassin's Fury was parked. "Did you get it off?" The Wrath asked. "Piece of cake." Vette grinned. "New record. The panel was right where you said it would be." "Outstanding, get you a case of beer for that one." The Wrath smiled. "My lord I don't understand... You were completely belligerent a minute ago." Quinn exclaimed. "I'm not that drunk. I was just buying time. You see, to get off of Nar Shaddaa from the Hutt Gardens parking lot, you have to take transit lane 1 to Embassy Row, which flies right over the Sith Consulate." The Wrath explained. "And if the Vette set the trigger on that bomb correctly-" "And I did." Vette interjected. "Then the charge will pop the panel off his waste containment compartment and vent garbage and ***** all over the Consulate gardens." The Wrath concluded. "And when they find out who did it... Sith business! Grr! Rargh!" Vette added. "Grr Rargh indeed." The Wrath grinned a grinchy grin. "My lord, I have to say that you're absolutely terrifying when you actually have a plan." Quinn observed. "Its nice to be appreciated." The Wrath shrugged. "Now go find our ride. I forgot where we " Edited March 27, 2012 by Doozzer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doozzer Posted March 27, 2012 Author Share Posted March 27, 2012 Ha! I'm so crafty! OOOO-HOOOOOO WOOOO- OOOOOOOH! OOOO-HOOO WOOO- OOOOOOH! Purple rain, purple rain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthRamette Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I love you. You are so awesome and I love this story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ksekolis Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I had to comment on this thread.This is the most epic thing I have read,I congratulate you for being able to come up with this story.Thank you very much man I love you .This this needs to get official and Doozzer,you are fantastic please keep entertaning us my friend.I am pretty sure that a lot more people thrive for more so keep up the awesome work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TurboDash Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 This is just so amazing... CANT... STOP... READING... CAN'T... STOP.... LAUGHING... PLEASE... Mr. Author... DON'T... STOP... WRITING... btw, would there be a chance that the Wrath be caught DUI on her speeder or on her ship seeing that most of the time she's intoxicated? I think that would be fun... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doozzer Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 btw, would there be a chance that the Wrath be caught DUI on her speeder or on her ship seeing that most of the time she's intoxicated? I think that would be fun... yea, that would have to assume that I wasn't too lazy to fly my own ship. That's a captain boyfriend job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaximusSuperior Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Author: from now on make one chapter a day. I cant wait longer then that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doozzer Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 COMING SOON IN WRATH: -More hot boy on boy action -Learn the truth about Servant One and Servant Two's questionable sexuality -Find out where Broonmark has been! BUT FIRST... I need to do Belsavis on Little Sister with my buddy while he gives me the sordid details of his hook-up last night... Believe it ladies, guys gossip too. WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR NEW FEATURE IN THE WRATH STORY Wait, what? THAT'S RIGHT, NEW STUFF. I hate new stuff. WHY? Because it always somehow involves embarrassing details about my sex life, or me being sloppy drunk on tequila. WELL, THE TEQUILA PART IS ALL YOUR FAULT. And I'm pretty sure the weird sex part is all your fault. WELL, IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY SECRETS, THEN YOU COULDN'T BE EMBARRASSED BY THEM! You don't mean... THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS, ITS TIME FOR ASK THE WRATH! Servant One: Questions must be submitted! Servant Two: The Wrath must respond! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthRamette Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 How freaky is Malavai in bed? You should do a skit about the Wrath having to reup the Fury's registration at the DMV and dealing with an old parking ticket or something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doozzer Posted March 31, 2012 Author Share Posted March 31, 2012 How freaky is Malavai in bed? Oh great. First one out of the pot, and we're already circling the drain. Thanks for nothing, Mr Writer. Quit sandbagging and answer the question. Fine. He actually kind of has a little switch. Normally he's really gentle and sensitive in the bedroom, he does this thing when he's big spoon where he puts his mouth on the back of my neck while he's inside of me, and its like... uh, I probably can't finish that sentence without breaking the forum rules or something. Probably can't. Well its hot. Try it. You have no idea how intense the back of your head is. The soft spots behind your ears, where your jaw meets your neck, he gets in there and its amazing. If your boyfriend is just staring at the back of your head while he's ahem... going to work, make him get in there and touch something. Its mind blowing. Writing that one down. Then, when the lieutenant visits, its like he just cuts the brake lines and goes right into the brick wall. Like full **** star. I think one time I saw his eyes roll up into the back of his head. Costume play does weird things to men, its a force for evil that must be harnessed very carefully. Next Question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yescek Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 Rage or Vengeance? I kinda got the impression that your Wrath is DPS, but it wouldn't be the first time I was wrong about someone's spec based off their personality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zalarian Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 She loves her healer so clearly she's Immortal Anyways, my question: Which do you prefer Wrath? Metallica or Megadeth and why. I know you're more of a Priest fan but I figured I'd hear your insight on this matter, oh mighty guru of the 80's. Figured Wrath gets pestered about her private life too much so I'll ask a more considerate question. Very entertaining story, I really look forward to the next entry/episode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doozzer Posted March 31, 2012 Author Share Posted March 31, 2012 Rage or Vengeance? I'm actually currently an indecisive hybrid spec that gets all the good low tree talents but doesn't do anything particularly well. I mostly sit in Soresu and taunt people, then tab over to someone low, charge> crit smash> Force Scream. actually being a tank in pvp only really works if you're A: an assassin and B: wearing DPS gear, because tank gear itemization in this game is terrible and the passive defense/shield mechanics work like crap in pvp. I think that's actually the most focused on the actual game we've ever been. More questions about sex and drinking, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doozzer Posted March 31, 2012 Author Share Posted March 31, 2012 She loves her healer so clearly she's Immortal Anyways, my question: Which do you prefer Wrath? Metallica or Megadeth and why. I know you're more of a Priest fan but I figured I'd hear your insight on this matter, oh mighty guru of the 80's. Figured Wrath gets pestered about her private life too much so I'll ask a more considerate question. Very entertaining story, I really look forward to the next entry/episode. Anyone whose leveled a tank to 50 knows that the heal pet is largely useless for a tank. Just level up with a DPS companion batting clean up, and you'll kill everything before it has a chance to kill you. It actually gets harder the closer you get to 50 to play with a healer companion because they blow all their cooldowns and then sit there plugging away with their blaster while the mobs beat the hell out of you. Quinn isn't a combat boyfriend- He spent the leveling time chained to a desk doing diplomacy missions. OH AND ITS NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE ON MY SIDE ABOUT MY PRIVATE LIFE FOR ONCE. Excellent question though. There's one important thing that Megadeth has that Metallica doesn't- And that's a video about , which is pretty much about as awesome 80s metal you can get without being Judas Priest. Also, Symphony of Destruction. JUST LIKE THE PIED PI-I-I-I-IPER Oh, and the other thing is Metallica is overrated. Yea, they were the first, I get it. But What the hell do they have going for them after Enter Sandman? Let's be honest with ourselves... For Whom the Bell Tolls ain't that great. Also they never really help their case by BEING *****. Like when they were gung-ho for the record companies when they were dismantling Napster. YOU HEAR THAT METALLICA? I SLICE YOUR ALBUMS ON THE HOLONET AND YOU DON'T GET A DAMN CENT. I SEED LIKE TEN TORRENTS OF YOUR GARBAGE EVERY DAY JUST TO GET CHEAP LIGHT SIDE POINTS. CALL THE S.I.S. AND CRY TO REPUBLIC INTELLIGENCE, I DON'T GIVE A ****! oh, and then they did that garbage where they wrote that album by committee? passing the paper around and everybody writing a line? What the hell is that about? **** Metallica. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zalarian Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 Anyone whose leveled a tank to 50 knows that the heal pet is largely useless for a tank. Just level up with a DPS companion batting clean up, and you'll kill everything before it has a chance to kill you. It actually gets harder the closer you get to 50 to play with a healer companion because they blow all their cooldowns and then sit there plugging away with their blaster while the mobs beat the hell out of you. Quinn isn't a combat boyfriend- He spent the leveling time chained to a desk doing diplomacy missions. OH AND ITS NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE ON MY SIDE ABOUT MY PRIVATE LIFE FOR ONCE. Excellent question though. There's one important thing that Megadeth has that Metallica doesn't- And that's a video about , which is pretty much about as awesome 80s metal you can get without being Judas Priest. Also, Symphony of Destruction. JUST LIKE THE PIED PI-I-I-I-IPER Oh, and the other thing is Metallica is overrated. Yea, they were the first, I get it. But What the hell do they have going for them after Enter Sandman? Let's be honest with ourselves... For Whom the Bell Tolls ain't that great. Also they never really help their case by BEING *****. Like when they were gung-ho for the record companies when they were dismantling Napster. YOU HEAR THAT METALLICA? I SLICE YOUR ALBUMS ON THE HOLONET AND YOU DON'T GET A DAMN CENT. I SEED LIKE TEN TORRENTS OF YOUR GARBAGE EVERY DAY JUST TO GET CHEAP LIGHT SIDE POINTS. CALL THE S.I.S. AND CRY TO REPUBLIC INTELLIGENCE, I DON'T GIVE A ****! oh, and then they did that garbage where they wrote that album by committee? passing the paper around and everybody writing a line? What the hell is that about? **** Metallica. The Wrath has spoken: I've always had a preference to Megadeth but I do listen to the 80's Metallica. Maybe Servant 11 can make a cameo and pester Servant 1 and 2 since all she ever got to do is holocall once, in game, on I think Corellia. We both know that Servant 1 and 2 are attention hogs anyways. Just a thought, you know it would be fun for Wrath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yescek Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 The Wrath has spoken: I've always had a preference to Megadeth but I do listen to the 80's Metallica. Maybe Servant 11 can make a cameo and pester Servant 1 and 2 since all she ever got to do is holocall once, in game, on I think Corellia. We both know that Servant 1 and 2 are attention hogs anyways. Just a thought, you know it would be fun for Wrath. I do hope we get to meet more of the hand. You're right, 1 & 2 definitely hog the limelight. Also here's to praying we get to burn Tython to the ground sometime soon in retribution for the attack on Dromund Kaas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaytahn Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Oh, thank you for that assassin rant, Wrath. After trying all day just to get the daily wins as a trooper, I really needed that! And a question if you're still taking them... Is it hard to be faithful to the dear captain? Because he is such a frustrating boyfriend to the ol' sith girl! I mean we know about those old stints with Pierce, any other dirty secrets of recent past? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doozzer Posted April 1, 2012 Author Share Posted April 1, 2012 Oh, thank you for that assassin rant, Wrath. After trying all day just to get the daily wins as a trooper, I really needed that! And a question if you're still taking them... Is it hard to be faithful to the dear captain? Because he is such a frustrating boyfriend to the ol' sith girl! I mean we know about those old stints with Pierce, any other dirty secrets of recent past? Excellent question. Nobody knows what its like to be the Sith girl. We get like no flirt options. I had like no hook-ups on the way to 50, the only man in sight was Malavai, and he was still doing his "duty first" garbage. Oh, and that fat officer on Hoth doesn't count. It's pretty much a tragedy, I know that **** Darth Lachris runs Balmorra and she'll open up her spaceport for pretty much any guy that kills a dozen resistance fighters, and I was like 'What the hell is this garbage? If you're handing out sex for planets, can't you at least keep a couple of those hunky marauder guys on deck for me? I want to get laid for saving planets too, you know.' Lets see though... Hook ups we don't know about... Well, there was this one time I was gambling on tatooine in this crappy cantina, and I was pretty much sc****** the bottle of the barrel against this Devoronian dude, who I'm pretty sure was cheating. Anyways, I bet my vinyl LP of Judas Priest Painkiller, and lost it, and I was like "Look, I can't live without Priest. I'll do anything to get that back." And he was like "Anything?" And I shrugged, because I was like, well... I never did it with a guy that looked like Satan, and that was pretty metal, and he wasn't bad looking and he was kind of funny. I think his name was Tyresius. I would have gone for round 2 because he wasn't bad, but when I woke up he was gone, he left some note about some bounty hunter chasing him and how it would have never worked out anyways, but I was like whatever, got to keep my Priest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaytahn Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Yeah the guys get to do just about anyone with two legs and the right setup, gals only wish they could. Maybe there's some sort of statement there, but I suspect most of the content was just designed by males, heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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