Alexsisrose Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 How to spot a Noob. A. INTRO I. What is this? II. Defining 'Noob' B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS I. Noobish II. Where to find noobs III. Behavior of noobs IV. Noob religion V. More about noob habitats C. AVOIDING NOOBS I. Make sure you aren't one II. Major noob avoiding strategies ------------------------ A. INTRO I. What is this? This guide is designed to give you a better understanding of what a noob is, how to recognize them, some details about them, and how to avoid or get rid of them. It mostly applies to online forums, which are the main targets of migrating noobs. II. Defining 'Noob' Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. It is the latter we will study in this guide so that the reader is prepared to encounter them in the wild if needed. Noobs are often referred to as n00bs as a sign of disrespect toward them, and it's often hella funny, but I will refer to them as noobs during this reading. * Usually the topic at hand on an internet forum. B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS I. Noobish Often, but not always, noobs will attempt to communicate in their own primitive language, known as "n00bish." It is a variant of the hacker language that exposes them as having little intelligence or will to learn. Here is an example of some noobish. Do not attempt to comprehend it: it cannot be discerned without professionals at hand. **** /../..an, i r teh r0xx0rz liek emin3m, u cna go tO EHLL OR ATLE4St help m3 wit hthIS!!111!!!!!!!1~~1!!``!! LOLLOLOLLOLOLlOoLLOlollLLl u n00b Although you may find this unbelievably funny and/or annoying, it is best to restrain yourself and keep from talking back to them, as they are very territorial and easily angered. This will result in their attempted verbal abuse of you, possibly backed up by other noobs, because they work in packs when doing offensive tasks. It is not an easy task to learn this language because our intelligent accent will keep it from sounding quite right when spoken. You can write some simple noobish of your own, however, by slamming your face into your keyboard repeatedly. II. Where to find n00bs On the internet, n00bs make their colonies on forums. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up bandwidth with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be on a board large enough to attract migrating noobs, there will hopefully be authority in charge who is smart enough to take extermination measures before they can make nests and larger colonies. THE BANNER HAMMER is one form of authority. Larger colonies can result in the mutation of some into spammers. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear. Off the internet, noobs appear anywhere the focus is on learning or discussing something specific. III. Behavior of noobs Since noobs are basically ignorant bastards, they have a lot in common. The most often seen characteristic is their fluency in noobish, which is why it got its own section. They will also be very self confident as if they were the absolute best at what they are in fact the worst at. Also, they are quite aggressive and self-centered, and tend to laugh a lot using many L's and O's in rapid succession (the noobish word for laughing like an ultimate ******). It is their instinct to assemble in packs for defense, and they often attempt to organize packs that they call teams. Unfortunately for them, teams usually result in a total loss of communication and they can often begin to fight amongst each other. These teams are quite unlike those formed by non-noobs. Noobs have difficulty reading English and cannot comprehend the idea of authority. Therefore, they have an all-out disregard for rules, basic or not. A good way to identify a noob (bad) vs. a newb (good) is to tell them (or have an authority tell them) which rule they are unknowingly breaking. If they respond with an apology and fix it, they are probably not a noob. If they react by insulting everything around them in rapid noobish and causing general mayhem, it is because they are a noob and have had a small seizure due to their inability to understand what is happening. IV. Noob Religion Noobs follow a variation of the 1337 (sometimes 7331) religion, in which they worship the number in odd rituals and put altars in their forum avatars and signatures. They often call themselves 1337, which experts say is somewhat like calling themselves godly in a human language. It's best to not interfere with their religious fantasies and practices because that can lead to a noob uprising, which can turn a forum to mush in less than a week. V. More about noob habitats Noobs often attempt to maintain their own web pages. Some common features of these lairs are a terrible lack of content, background music, lots of pointless animated gifs, and pages that say some variation of 'tHEir isnothinG H34r yEtt LOLLOLOL!111!1!!~~~!!`! 13371337', which means 'Nothing here yet' in noobish. They will also have large, seemingly infinite marquees of 88X31 affiliate buttons replaced with red X's scattered here and there, and possibly a hit counter showing a number less than 100. These habitats are numerous but fairly easy to avoid because only noobs link to them. So if you can identify a noob, don't go to its homepage. Simple as that. C. AVOIDING NOOBS I. Make sure you aren't one Note: This section is bilingual so even noobs can make the discovery if they haven't already. English (T4lk)- Read the above parts of this guide carefully. If you find yourself unable to comprehend any of it but are instead beginning to think about how great you are and how awesome 'teh 1337' is, you might want to take one of the many available online quizzes to check your noobancy. Noobish (133713371337)- Liek, u gott4 re3D teh gudieCAREFUl1y and tehn OMG LIEK I AM R0XX0RZ ya anD ify 0u turn into teh ******** u gota go 2 MY WEBP4GE LOLLOLOL!!111~11 ad check 4 warez n stfuu. if u r a n00b go2HELL LOLLOLOlROFLMFAO11!!!11!!!! a/s/l pos gtg n00b suxx0rz ur b0xx0rz OLOOOLOLLLL HELP HELP HELP 1337133713371337 II. Major noob avoiding strategies The main factor in attracting migrating herds of noobs is a large, active forum. If you find one of these, look to see if it has the management to avoid noob infestation. If not, look for a small or mid-sized forum that covers the same topic so you can enjoy your time there before the noobs find it. Another way to keep noobs from interfering with your life is to become part of the authority on one of these forums. But that's often hard to do so you'll probably be better off avoiding larger forums first off. If you do manage to become part of the authority, however, take full advantage of it and establish extermination policies so that normal people can have a nice time without noob infestations. Thanks to Urban Dictionary. Noob Talk: LAlWAlwalwalWAWLAWLAWA!~!~!~!!!11!!! 1M NOtttt N0000BZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorin_Kass Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 yeah, didn't read this at all..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noggafor Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 whats recount? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaver Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 There are like......8 violations there lol. Prepare to feel the wrath of a mod. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexsisrose Posted December 14, 2011 Author Share Posted December 14, 2011 this is general discussion. where else would i post things to discuss? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adi_Wan Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 How to spot a Noob. A. INTRO I. What is this? II. Defining 'Noob' B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS I. Noobish II. Where to find noobs III. Behavior of noobs IV. Noob religion V. More about noob habitats C. AVOIDING NOOBS I. Make sure you aren't one II. Major noob avoiding strategies ------------------------ A. INTRO I. What is this? This guide is designed to give you a better understanding of what a noob is, how to recognize them, some details about them, and how to avoid or get rid of them. It mostly applies to online forums, which are the main targets of migrating noobs. II. Defining 'Noob' Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. It is the latter we will study in this guide so that the reader is prepared to encounter them in the wild if needed. Noobs are often referred to as n00bs as a sign of disrespect toward them, and it's often hella funny, but I will refer to them as noobs during this reading. * Usually the topic at hand on an internet forum. B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS I. Noobish Often, but not always, noobs will attempt to communicate in their own primitive language, known as "n00bish." It is a variant of the hacker language that exposes them as having little intelligence or will to learn. Here is an example of some noobish. Do not attempt to comprehend it: it cannot be discerned without professionals at hand. **** /../..an, i r teh r0xx0rz liek emin3m, u cna go tO EHLL OR ATLE4St help m3 wit hthIS!!111!!!!!!!1~~1!!``!! LOLLOLOLLOLOLlOoLLOlollLLl u n00b Although you may find this unbelievably funny and/or annoying, it is best to restrain yourself and keep from talking back to them, as they are very territorial and easily angered. This will result in their attempted verbal abuse of you, possibly backed up by other noobs, because they work in packs when doing offensive tasks. It is not an easy task to learn this language because our intelligent accent will keep it from sounding quite right when spoken. You can write some simple noobish of your own, however, by slamming your face into your keyboard repeatedly. II. Where to find n00bs On the internet, n00bs make their colonies on forums. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up bandwidth with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be on a board large enough to attract migrating noobs, there will hopefully be authority in charge who is smart enough to take extermination measures before they can make nests and larger colonies. THE BANNER HAMMER is one form of authority. Larger colonies can result in the mutation of some into spammers. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear. Off the internet, noobs appear anywhere the focus is on learning or discussing something specific. III. Behavior of noobs Since noobs are basically ignorant bastards, they have a lot in common. The most often seen characteristic is their fluency in noobish, which is why it got its own section. They will also be very self confident as if they were the absolute best at what they are in fact the worst at. Also, they are quite aggressive and self-centered, and tend to laugh a lot using many L's and O's in rapid succession (the noobish word for laughing like an ultimate ******). It is their instinct to assemble in packs for defense, and they often attempt to organize packs that they call teams. Unfortunately for them, teams usually result in a total loss of communication and they can often begin to fight amongst each other. These teams are quite unlike those formed by non-noobs. Noobs have difficulty reading English and cannot comprehend the idea of authority. Therefore, they have an all-out disregard for rules, basic or not. A good way to identify a noob (bad) vs. a newb (good) is to tell them (or have an authority tell them) which rule they are unknowingly breaking. If they respond with an apology and fix it, they are probably not a noob. If they react by insulting everything around them in rapid noobish and causing general mayhem, it is because they are a noob and have had a small seizure due to their inability to understand what is happening. IV. Noob Religion Noobs follow a variation of the 1337 (sometimes 7331) religion, in which they worship the number in odd rituals and put altars in their forum avatars and signatures. They often call themselves 1337, which experts say is somewhat like calling themselves godly in a human language. It's best to not interfere with their religious fantasies and practices because that can lead to a noob uprising, which can turn a forum to mush in less than a week. V. More about noob habitats Noobs often attempt to maintain their own web pages. Some common features of these lairs are a terrible lack of content, background music, lots of pointless animated gifs, and pages that say some variation of 'tHEir isnothinG H34r yEtt LOLLOLOL!111!1!!~~~!!`! 13371337', which means 'Nothing here yet' in noobish. They will also have large, seemingly infinite marquees of 88X31 affiliate buttons replaced with red X's scattered here and there, and possibly a hit counter showing a number less than 100. These habitats are numerous but fairly easy to avoid because only noobs link to them. So if you can identify a noob, don't go to its homepage. Simple as that. C. AVOIDING NOOBS I. Make sure you aren't one Note: This section is bilingual so even noobs can make the discovery if they haven't already. English (T4lk)- Read the above parts of this guide carefully. If you find yourself unable to comprehend any of it but are instead beginning to think about how great you are and how awesome 'teh 1337' is, you might want to take one of the many available online quizzes to check your noobancy. Noobish (133713371337)- Liek, u gott4 re3D teh gudieCAREFUl1y and tehn OMG LIEK I AM R0XX0RZ ya anD ify 0u turn into teh ******** u gota go 2 MY WEBP4GE LOLLOLOL!!111~11 ad check 4 warez n stfuu. if u r a n00b go2HELL LOLLOLOlROFLMFAO11!!!11!!!! a/s/l pos gtg n00b suxx0rz ur b0xx0rz OLOOOLOLLLL HELP HELP HELP 1337133713371337 II. Major noob avoiding strategies The main factor in attracting migrating herds of noobs is a large, active forum. If you find one of these, look to see if it has the management to avoid noob infestation. If not, look for a small or mid-sized forum that covers the same topic so you can enjoy your time there before the noobs find it. Another way to keep noobs from interfering with your life is to become part of the authority on one of these forums. But that's often hard to do so you'll probably be better off avoiding larger forums first off. If you do manage to become part of the authority, however, take full advantage of it and establish extermination policies so that normal people can have a nice time without noob infestations. Thanks to Urban Dictionary. Noob Talk: LAlWAlwalwalWAWLAWLAWA!~!~!~!!!11!!! 1M NOtttt N0000BZ Hahaha. nice one post. This should be on sticky.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sierra-Six Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 GAH?! off topic to "General"...stuff.., Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuriostone Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 yeah, didn't read this at all..... I endorse this product or event. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladedakoda Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 This.....is not going to end well............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gotevil Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 interesting troll but a little too much information Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenning Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 Hahaha. nice one post. This should be on sticky.. Please don't quote the OP, especially when the post is several pages long. If you have to, at least break it up into the parts you actually want to talk about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avelta Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 What, no chart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crisp Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 Hey guys lets play who didnt get invited to play the game yet??!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planetwide_ex Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 Ahh "extermination policies." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightFireX Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 Yeah this is a stupid post and should be removed by the moderators. I find a noob to be someone who feels the need to make a post like this in order to make themselves feel superior to others. There really is no need for it as most gamers know what a noob is and doesn't need someone else to define it for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notannos Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 Greetings! This thread is an off-topic discussion of Star Wars™: The Old Republic™. For reference please review the Rules of Conduct. We ask that you keep the discussion on-topic in the future. Thank You! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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