Savarous Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) Bioware Employee: Welcome everyone! Welcome to the Bioware theme park! Enjoy your stay at the most fun place in the galaxy! Visitor 1: Wow, this is great! Visitor 2: Meh, I've been to better places. Visitor 3: This is fun. A little rough, but it's still fun. Bioware Employee: I assure everyone that Bioware is doing all that it can to quickly iron any possible problems and shortcomings. We all very much care for your concerns! Visitor 2: One of your rides is broken. Visitor 1: Oh what? That sucks! Visitor 3: Shoot. Well, I guess I'll go on another ride. That one looks fun-- Bioware Employee: What?? It's broken! Quick! Everyone has to evacuate the park immediately! Code red! Visitor 1: What? For how long? Bioware Employee: Oh not that long, well, maybe about about a quarter of the work day. Visitor 2: Ehh, that's fine. I'll go do something else. Visitor 1: Aww! Didn't this park close down yesterday? Visitor 3: Yeah, but that was when it's usually closed down for maintenance, right? Why does it need to shut down again? Bioware Employee: Because!! This one ride is broken! Everyone out! We care about all of your concerns! Visitor 3: But only a few people care about this ride. We'll go on other rides. Visitor 2: Well, I care about this ride. No, I'd rather have them fix this now. The sooner the better. If you're upset or complaining, then you're a crybaby. Visitor 1: But I thought I could spend the whole day at the park today! Visitor 3: It's natural to be upset at such a short notice, but I understand if they need to fix something. Still, there's a LOT of people at this park--and a lot of them don't even know or care about this one ride. Can't you put it on the fix-it list for next Tuesday? Bioware Employee: NO! We have an official schedule to fix things on a certain day! And yes, that was yesterday, but still! You can enjoy this park's two-hundred rides tomorrow, after we shut it down and fix this one ride! We must fix park breaking problems as they arise!! Visitor 3: It's just one ride. The park as a whole is still operating pretty well-- Bioware Employee: SILENCE! We reserve the right to shut down everything on any other day we want!! Visitor 1: But you just closed it down yesterday! This sucks! You suck! Visitor 2: You're such a wuss, Visitor 1. Stop crying and get over it. Bioware Employee: Thank you visitor 2. Your concerns are very important to us! Visitor 3: Wait, hasn't this happened before? Visitor 1: Yeah! You guys shut down this place multiple days in a row! Bioware Employee: [Dialing] Hello, la Bioware parc à thème? Yes, that's right. That one ride--mm hmm. Shut it down, correct. Kick everyone out. Yes, we're doing it too. Shut everything down. Mm hmm, all at the same time. Merci! Visitor 3: Well, I guess we'll try again tomorrow... Visitor 2: Pfft, get a life you two. Visitor 1: I hate you! Bioware Employee: Yes... I can feel it... It gives you FOCUS... Makes you STRONGAH...! Edited February 9, 2012 by Savarous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness_au Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Amen ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJediKnight Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I lawl'd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaelith Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 lol "all at the same time, merci" lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJediKnight Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Deserves a bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Varangian Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 If I may say one thing, while you can shut a single ride down at a theme park and have the rest of it run smoothly, you can't do the same to a server, as far as I can tell. I'm not involved in anything remotely similar so I could be entirely wrong. Otherwise, I chuckled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancrizans Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Hahaha! awesome thread. And... EXACTLY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pieteral Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Love it and enjoyed reading it. This is at least give some fun angle to it. :-) Thumbs up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lortron Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Bump Bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa_Shadow Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) As funny as this is, its really sad that this is actually the state of things in this game. Edited February 9, 2012 by Papa_Shadow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savarous Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 Thanks peoples, just thought of it as I read the various threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roidjunki Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Agreed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lortron Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Deserves a bump. I gave it 2 bump's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corona_SS Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Another bump. Well said. So true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urdnaxela Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 can't help but lol... the end lines especially were pure genius! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShinjiOni Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Lol that was awesome hahaha. Sadly it does accurately reflect what is going on >.<. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowizi Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) Visitor 2: There has been a terrible accident, one of your rides is broken and crashed at the looping. We have loads of casualties over there... Visitor 3: Yes! Its really awfull. The massacre! Visitor 1: No, no, no, it's not broken! Im a fan, so I know how things work around here. That was actually ment to happen. And if it wasn't, Im sure they'll fix it straight away. I mean, the ride is pretty new, its pretty logical you wont survive the first ride! Bioware Employee: Hmmm? Yea? Wot? Broken? Hmmm k... " Harry, send the droid plz" ... We ofcourse we will fix it! *giggles* Dont you worry dear customer! Visitor 3: How long will it take to fix this? We can't use it this way! Bioware Employee: Oh not that long, well, we'll fix it " very soon" *giggles* Promised! Visitor 1: Ehh, that's fine. I'll go do something else. Visitor 2: Aww! Didn't this park close down yesterday? Visitor 3: Hey, wasn't that ride supposed to be fixed three weeks ago? Bioware Employee: Yes, we know it's taking a little bit longer. Please understand its pretty hard to learn a baboon the basics of programming. Since we're out of banana's... Visitor 3: Oh well! No worries! Ill just go back to that other thempark! It was more fun anyway Edited February 9, 2012 by lowizi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayneDancer Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 lol...I love BioWare and all, but the thread sums up the emergency patching pretty nicely. I'm perfectly fine with the downtime, but...I was still able to complete my Ilum dailies. And my weekly. If you stopped getting credit, all you had to do was go die and come back. Fixed it every time. No biggie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CadeAssant Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I love satire..and like good satire this perfectly and plainly shows how stupid the thing being satirized is. I thank you good sir. I lol'd several times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelinCarnate Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 lol...I love BioWare and all, but the thread sums up the emergency patching pretty nicely. I'm perfectly fine with the downtime, but...I was still able to complete my Ilum dailies. And my weekly. If you stopped getting credit, all you had to do was go die and come back. Fixed it every time. No biggie! Would be even easier if they had the /stuck command kill you like it did in beta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savarous Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 can't help but lol... the end lines especially were pure genius! ) Thanks, hehe. I didn't know if putting in Palpatine's line was wise or not, but sensed a lot of hate in the threads I did! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GHeissi Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Visitor 2: One of your rides is broken. Visitor 1: No, no, no, it's not broken! Im a fan, so I know how things work around here. That was actually ment to happen. Bioware Employee: We already know about this and we will fix it! Rest assured. Visitor 3: How long will it take to fix this? We can't use it this way! Bioware Employee: We are discussing this matter right now, we can't give you a concrete date however, but we are putting a lot of resources in it. Visitor 1: Ehh, that's fine. I'll go do something else. Visitor 2: Aww! Didn't this park close down yesterday? Visitor 3: Hey, wasn't that ride supposed to be fixed three weeks ago? Bioware Employee: Yes, we know it's taking a little bit longer. We are constantly maintaining and enhancing all other rides to ensure the best quality possible. The faulty ride is another matter. This happens when a customer is too heavy to use it and the ride was not designed to support fat people, however they are only a small minority. But we are working on it. Visitor 3: Oh well! No worries! Ill just go back to that other thempark! It was more fun anyway Unfortunately, the script had to be changed to be able to go live at the theater. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draggyish Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 As sad as it is that it's true, this totally made me lawl. Thanks OP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savarous Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 Hehe thanks for the added content, man! This was fun. My friend suggested a minor change to the last part. So I modified it a bit. Thanks a lot, everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quantum_Icecube Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I kind of like that they're so over-the-top, lol. It shows they care. I hope they figure out a better pattern in the future, though, because 4 hours of downtime for someone who doesn't PvP is pretty silly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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