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Savarous's Patch Night Theatre presents: The Bioware Theme Park


Savarous

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Bioware Employee: Welcome everyone! Welcome to the Bioware theme park! Enjoy your stay at the most fun place in the galaxy!

 

Visitor 1: Wow, this is great!

 

Visitor 2: Meh, I've been to better places.

 

Visitor 3: This is fun. A little rough, but it's still fun.

 

Bioware Employee: I assure everyone that Bioware is doing all that it can to quickly iron any possible problems and shortcomings. We all very much care for your concerns!

 

Visitor 2: One of your rides is broken.

 

Visitor 1: Oh what? That sucks!

 

Visitor 3: Shoot. Well, I guess I'll go on another ride. That one looks fun--

 

Bioware Employee: What?? It's broken! Quick! Everyone has to evacuate the park immediately! Code red!

 

Visitor 1: What? For how long?

 

Bioware Employee: Oh not that long, well, maybe about about a quarter of the work day.

 

Visitor 2: Ehh, that's fine. I'll go do something else.

 

Visitor 1: Aww! Didn't this park close down yesterday?

 

Visitor 3: Yeah, but that was when it's usually closed down for maintenance, right? Why does it need to shut down again?

 

Bioware Employee: Because!! This one ride is broken! Everyone out! We care about all of your concerns!

 

Visitor 3: But only a few people care about this ride. We'll go on other rides.

 

Visitor 2: Well, I care about this ride. No, I'd rather have them fix this now. The sooner the better. If you're upset or complaining, then you're a crybaby.

 

Visitor 1: But I thought I could spend the whole day at the park today!

 

Visitor 3: It's natural to be upset at such a short notice, but I understand if they need to fix something. Still, there's a LOT of people at this park--and a lot of them don't even know or care about this one ride. Can't you put it on the fix-it list for next Tuesday?

 

Bioware Employee: NO! We have an official schedule to fix things on a certain day! And yes, that was yesterday, but still! You can enjoy this park's two-hundred rides tomorrow, after we shut it down and fix this one ride! We must fix park breaking problems as they arise!!

 

Visitor 3: It's just one ride. The park as a whole is still operating pretty well--

 

Bioware Employee: SILENCE! We reserve the right to shut down everything on any other day we want!!

 

Visitor 1: But you just closed it down yesterday! This sucks! You suck!

 

Visitor 2: You're such a wuss, Visitor 1. Stop crying and get over it.

 

Bioware Employee: Thank you visitor 2. Your concerns are very important to us!

 

Visitor 3: Wait, hasn't this happened before?

 

Visitor 1: Yeah! You guys shut down this place multiple days in a row!

 

Bioware Employee: [Dialing] Hello, la Bioware parc à thème? Yes, that's right. That one ride--mm hmm. Shut it down, correct. Kick everyone out. Yes, we're doing it too. Shut everything down. Mm hmm, all at the same time. Merci!

 

Visitor 3: Well, I guess we'll try again tomorrow...

 

Visitor 2: Pfft, get a life you two.

 

Visitor 1: I hate you!

 

Bioware Employee: Yes... I can feel it... It gives you FOCUS... Makes you STRONGAH...!

Edited by Savarous
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If I may say one thing, while you can shut a single ride down at a theme park and have the rest of it run smoothly, you can't do the same to a server, as far as I can tell. I'm not involved in anything remotely similar so I could be entirely wrong.

 

Otherwise, I chuckled.

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Visitor 2: There has been a terrible accident, one of your rides is broken and crashed at the looping. We have loads of casualties over there...

 

Visitor 3: Yes! Its really awfull. The massacre!

 

Visitor 1: No, no, no, it's not broken! Im a fan, so I know how things work around here. That was actually ment to happen. And if it wasn't, Im sure they'll fix it straight away. I mean, the ride is pretty new, its pretty logical you wont survive the first ride!

 

Bioware Employee: Hmmm? Yea? Wot? Broken? Hmmm k... " Harry, send the droid plz" ... We ofcourse we will fix it! *giggles* Dont you worry dear customer!

 

Visitor 3: How long will it take to fix this? We can't use it this way!

 

Bioware Employee: Oh not that long, well, we'll fix it " very soon" *giggles* Promised!

 

Visitor 1: Ehh, that's fine. I'll go do something else.

 

Visitor 2: Aww! Didn't this park close down yesterday?

 

Visitor 3: Hey, wasn't that ride supposed to be fixed three weeks ago?

 

Bioware Employee: Yes, we know it's taking a little bit longer. Please understand its pretty hard to learn a baboon the basics of programming. Since we're out of banana's...

 

Visitor 3: Oh well! No worries! Ill just go back to that other thempark! It was more fun anyway :)

Edited by lowizi
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lol...I love BioWare and all, but the thread sums up the emergency patching pretty nicely. :p

 

I'm perfectly fine with the downtime, but...I was still able to complete my Ilum dailies. And my weekly. If you stopped getting credit, all you had to do was go die and come back. Fixed it every time. No biggie!

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lol...I love BioWare and all, but the thread sums up the emergency patching pretty nicely. :p

 

I'm perfectly fine with the downtime, but...I was still able to complete my Ilum dailies. And my weekly. If you stopped getting credit, all you had to do was go die and come back. Fixed it every time. No biggie!

 

Would be even easier if they had the /stuck command kill you like it did in beta.

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Visitor 2: One of your rides is broken.

 

Visitor 1: No, no, no, it's not broken! Im a fan, so I know how things work around here. That was actually ment to happen.

 

Bioware Employee: We already know about this and we will fix it! Rest assured.

 

Visitor 3: How long will it take to fix this? We can't use it this way!

 

Bioware Employee: We are discussing this matter right now, we can't give you a concrete date however, but we are putting a lot of resources in it.

 

Visitor 1: Ehh, that's fine. I'll go do something else.

 

Visitor 2: Aww! Didn't this park close down yesterday?

 

Visitor 3: Hey, wasn't that ride supposed to be fixed three weeks ago?

 

Bioware Employee: Yes, we know it's taking a little bit longer. We are constantly maintaining and enhancing all other rides to ensure the best quality possible. The faulty ride is another matter. This happens when a customer is too heavy to use it and the ride was not designed to support fat people, however they are only a small minority. But we are working on it.

 

Visitor 3: Oh well! No worries! Ill just go back to that other thempark! It was more fun anyway :)

 

Unfortunately, the script had to be changed to be able to go live at the theater.

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