I personally think the game is sexist, but less so than almost every other media type out there, therefore it should be commended.
The reason this has become such an explosive topic is because Bioware has attracted female and gay gamers, rather than just focusing on the typical straight white gamers other companies content themselves with.
What is making the straight, male community nervous in this case, is that based on Biowares other games, they are already on the female/LGBT communities side. They don't push equality and gay romance in their other games for money, they do it because they want to. The straight men of SWTOR are just very vocally complaining in the hopes that Bioware won't bring gay romance to this game. But I doubt they'll change Bioware's minds, none of the other negative reviews altered their other games.