The front page is updated! Just in time for Starfighters... Onyx One beginning assault! *pew pew!

I read your statement in full, but I know in my heart that you'll listen to the wise people on this forum and the persuasive arguments I'm too lazy to recap and bow to the community pressure to remove the valor requirements. Search your feelings. You know this to be true. ~waves hand in front of Musco's face >monk

Crosses fingers that "intent" equals no more valor requirement. ...seriously, it's only because I'm lazy. >monk

Thanks to Torocast.com for letting Rock and I ramble on about our thoughts and feelings and such for their Guild Spotlight segment. >monk

I'm serious about raiding the fridge... does that count? >monk

Only if we come up with a snazzy team uniform. >monk

Thank you for saying so. >monk

They were unavailable for the voice acting at the time of production. I had to pull in those two guys that loiter at the corner of my apartment that will work for snack chips and cheap liquor. >monk

The package is nondescript looking at first, until, upon closer examination there is a slight film and stain of grease on three of the sides and the fleckings of other, less determinable fluids splattered on at least one other side. Inside the package is a neatly formatted letter and a battered holo-projector. The letter is a terse apology about both the unconventional format of the application and the condition of the package. At the bottom is an cypher used to access an enclosed holonet address that reveals the resume of a rather skilled slicer identified only as "M". Why this would be bundled together is a mystery until the projector is set to replay its message. (Unseen female's voice heard): If you're looking at this, you've already seen my resume. I need that job. (The camera is in motion, walking steadily along the gantry of a light frieghter of indeterminable design and questionable upkeep. The voice continues): Unfortunately I'm attached to this great big lummox of a bounty hunter and owe him my life, so I can't take the Technician job unless he gets a job, too. Please, please consider this carefully. After your inital reaction, please look at my resume again and hire us anyway. (The camera empties into a maintenance bay that is predominated by a personal speeder held up on rectangular stone blocks. It is impossible to tell the origin of the speeder as it has obviously been rigged together from parts of at least five known manufacturers). (Female's voice "FV"): Hey! You ready for that application I told you about? (Crawling out from underneath the speeder is a human male of considerable girth, stained with maintenance fluids): What now? Oh... Oh yeah. About the Security Commandership. FV: Officer. Security Officer for Czerka Corporation. (The man rubs his face with a stained rag and hoists himself up to stand next to the speeder. Reaching over it, there is unseen action and the sound of ice being rustled before he returns with a can that he cracks open. A small spray of liquid and foam splash across his broad chest as he takes a few deep swallows.): Let's light her up, baby! The Jett's fueled and ready to fly! FV: Please try to take this a little bit seriously. (FV clears her throat): CZ-198 Application for Bubba-Jett Danyells. Question One: Please tell us a little about yourself. Why do you want to be a part of the Czerka family? Bubba-Jett "BJ": Family? I thought you said this was a job? I ain't joinin' no family. I already got a family I hate. FV: No, Jett, it's an expression. BJ: Oh... sure... whatever that means. Uh... greetings. I am Bubba-Jett and I am looking to be part of your family. FV: Why? BJ: Hell, if you don't know why, how'm I supposed to know? I thought you said they paid well? FV: Very well! So answer the questions seriously! (The man belches loudly and then giggles). FV: Really? Can we try this again? With less of that? BJ: Yeah, yeah, sure. I'm just warmin' up. (After an exasperated sigh) FV: CZ-198 Application for Bubba-Jett Danyells. Question One: Please tell us a little about yourself. Why do you want to be a part of the Czerka ... Corporation? BJ: I'm Bubba-Jett and I will put a boot thruster in the backside of any of your problems! that's what I get paid to do and that's what I will do once I am Captain of your armed forces. For free of charges, I will also bring my elite crew of highly trained face-punchers to belt your problems in the brainpan. (With a bit of bravado, the man crushes the can, spraying some of the remaining contents out and tosses it in the air. With surprising grace and skill, the man produces a blaster and fires a single shot at the can reaching the apex of its upward arc. With a flourishing spin, the blaster is reholstered and the can is caught. The man peers through the large hole cut through the middle). BJ: Results you can see through... that's the Bubba-Jett guarantee! In fact I will... FV: Question TWO! Please name three of your accomplishments that you are most proud of. BJ: I know you're real smart and all, but that's not a question. FV: Just... do... it. BJ: Well, alright, I suppose I could whittle down my list of awesome into just three little Examples. First off is my elegant ride here, assembled from the finest parts of the fastest... FV: Security accomplishments! Talk about your bounties! BJ: Oh... well... of course! Fine craftsmanship is merely a hobby of mine. My real awesome accomplishes are all related to my hunts... Like that time on Tatooine when that one dude was all like "don't hurt me, Bubba-Jett!" and I was starin' him down so hard he was gonna crack like a bad motivator on an astrodroid when his buddy showed up and tried to slap iron with me and he was all like "ba-blam!" and I whipped out ole' Betti-Sue here and was all like "sha-zow!" and then his buddies jumped into the mix all "pe-pew pew"... (As the man continues to act out the events as he recalls them, making fake motions with his blaster pistol against an army of imaginary antagonists, the female voice can be heard muttering to herself) FV: I am so screwed. I am never going to get off this ship. I am never going to get the rid of that pervy little Jawa trying to spy on me while I shower. BJ: ... and them kills during the Great Hunt and I guess makin' all them fancy pants republicans cry. Oh, oh, and makin' this look gooooood... (The grease stained hunter does a deep flex, his lips puckered into a knowing smile beneath his bushy rust colored mustache). (FV groans almost inaudably before continuing.) FV: How did you go about achieving the accomplishments above... you know, skip that, just tell me whether or not you would do "whatever it takes" for success? BJ: Success of what? FV: Things... your endeavors... BJ: N - D - Fours? That some sort of droid? FV: No. Your job... would you do "whatever it takes" for your job? BJ: Oh hell yes. You know that. Like that one time I dressed up as a palace girl to infiltrate that Hutt's stronghold... FV: Yes, what I wouldn't give to forget that... BJ: So yeah, man! Whatever it takes! Especially if it means shootin' things, ridin' fast on my custom speeder or generally takin' names of less awesome dudes once I knock the poo-doo out of 'em. (The man points to a tatoo on his arm of a scantily clad Rodian female suggestively riding a rocket with the phrase "Born 2 Thrill!" tatooed just below it. He gives it a good flex as he tries to move it closer to the holo-cam. The camera deftly maneuvers away). FV: Would you say you have a strong moral compass? (The hunter "adjusts" his pants at this point). BJ: Long and strong, baby... FV: No! Bad Bubba! Focus on the questions! Do you think your morals could get in the way of your job, should you be asked to do something...questionable? BJ: I honestly do not think such a thing exists. FV: Like kill your mother?" BJ: I hate my mother. Remind me to send her a thermal detonator for her birthday. FV: Betray a comrade? BJ: A comrade is just an enemy what hasn't turned on you yet. FV: Steal from an employer? BJ: Hell no! That's a sacred trust! Even I have a limit I will not cross. FV: Well, that's good to ... (The hunter laughs.) BJ: I'm just foolin'. I totally would if they're stupid enough to let me. FV: Oh my word. It's true, you have no scruples at all. BJ: Don't know what screw-piles are, but if they pay well, I'll get some. FV: Ok, here's the last question. It's like a "what if" scenario, ok? BJ: Like a "choose my own adventure?" FV: Yes. BJ: I love that. FV: Ok, you are about to enjoy our wide variety of complimentary cocktails and snacks, when you notice that your esteemed colleague's newest experiment is likely to break out of their confines while you are gone. How would you handle this situation? BJ: Ok. Ok. Ok. I have a couple of questions. FV: I'll do my best... BJ: What's a colleague? And why is it mad at me. FV: It's a co-worker, another security guard... and he's not steamed... mad at you. Esteemed Means respectible. Someone you trust. BJ: I don't trust nobody. FV: Just pretend. BJ: What kind of snacks do they have in my pretend adventure? FV: I don't... what does that have to do with anything? BJ: Because if they're real good, I'll shove some of them in my snack sack before I start bustin my steamy co-worker in the grill. FV: Why would you attack him? BJ: He's been jealous of me since the day I started, that sad sack of whomp rats! No one tries to set up Bubba-Jett to look bad at his new job and gets away with it. That's the way that turbo lasers if you know what I mean. FV: I do not. BJ: That means I win with violence. FV: Undoubtedly. BJ: That's one hell of a pretend! How'd I do? I think I got them all right. FV: I'm sure you did. (The hunter props one foot up on his speeder, brandishing his blaster pistol and trying to strike some sort of ... pose?) BJ: Fade out on that. Yeah, that's the stuff. (The video does pause and a voice that was obviously dubbed in afterwards speaks clearly. It is the same Female's voice as before.) FV: You've seen my credentials and you've seen this footage. I am the best slicer you could ever hope to hire, ready to build you incredible combat algorithms for your products. My skills are yours if you can find something to keep this man occupied. Bubba-Jett Danyells is a freakish force of destruction to everything around him. You don't even have to keep him on planet. Just imagine what kind of chaos he could cause if you put him where your competitors didn't want him. That's my offer, please reply to... (There is a loud banging sound and a muffled shout, as if partially blocked by a barrier.) BJ: Hey, you almost done in there? We're just short of that Republic outpost and I need you to wire that detonator to the bag of bantha manure we're gonna dump on thier doorstep! FV: Oh for the love of... (The holo-projector recording ends here.)

Fear not! If you remain in guild for a mere 20 years, you will get a commemorative ashtray emblazoned with the OI logo. We certainly take care of our own around here. >monk

Had some fun cleaning up treacherous hives of Scum & Villiany this past week. Looking forward to doing it again this week! Also, if you apply now, you are eligible to win a free bamboo steamer. >monk

New expansion, new cartel packs, new members... cleverly mixed with a dash of returning veterans and old-school fun. It's a recipe for awesome!!! (This has been an unpaid endorsement from the People who say OI!) >monk

Clarification please. Others are speculating it will be a separate item. Will those that get the Eradicator's set be given the mask when it is released, or will it be acquired independant of the set? Thanks! >monk

I WILL! Oh... wait... you're talking to everyone else. >monk

I'm putting a reply in here so Rock doesn't blow a motivator. That's a droid joke... HAPPY FRIDAY! >monk