I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Like you, I have problems with some of those things. I am getting on disability as well. Bipolar, Anxiety, OCD, ADHD, schizoaffective, they really threw the book at me. People who don't experience these things themselves can never truly understand how it makes you feel. Its like you're always on the outside looking in, wishing you could just be like the rest of the world.
To feel that crushing despair because you firmly believe that will never happen is one of the worst things in the world. We want to be able to log into a virtual world where none of things should matter, and when we experience the same garbage in-game it just reinforces the belief that we are beyond saving, that we just have no reason to exist. My advice to you is do not give up. We don't know the future, or what our lives will be like in five years. Keep up with treatment, take the meds, tell the docs what works and what doesn't. Don't get discouraged, you and I both know its a lengthy and infuriating process, and its worse because not many people understand what we are putting up with. People like to pidgeonhole us when they hear the word "bipolar". TV and movies have people believing we are crazy people who are angry one minute and calm the next. People, sadly, can be real morons.
My friend complained that I would make more money than him on disability while he works a full time job. I said my job is way harder than his, because I have to do it all night and all day. He laughed and asked what the hell do I do to earn it. I said I have to fight drug companies and charity care doctors and bad reactions to new meds, to have to struggle every single day to find something to tell myself to keep me going until tomorrow, that things can get better, just hang on another day. He basically said "so you sit around all day"
That's the kind of crap we put up with. Don't try to fit in. I would add you as a friend and play with you anytime, not because we are sort of kindred spirits, but because I think you seem cool enough to me. If you're on Ebon Hawk, friend me up. Dark Siders are Baltier, Calamus, and Artus. Repblics are...well, I can't remember their names.
Take care of yourself, my friend. Keep playing, and learn to tell people to simply...****.