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Hindsight

irishfino

By irishfino
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irishfino

irishfino

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Tang

 

 

I hate the taste of blood. I’ve always found people who eat raw or barely cooked meat to be strange. It always tastes like metal. It can signal death or grievous injury. Maybe that’s why those people liked it. I don’t. I hate the taste of blood.

 

The taste is even worse when it’s your own blood.

 

My chest is killing me. Feels like it did the day I took a blast too close. Got a nice scar for that. And a job offer.

 

He’s somewhere in the room. Or the area. Somewhere. I can sense him. I have always sensed him. There’s a small, strange bond between us. We’re connected, yet separate. We weren’t always. He used to be part of me.

 

And not the part that conceived him.

 

If he was conceived at all. We never knew. We didn’t care. Now I wonder if that was a mistake. It doesn’t matter now. He’s here. I’m here. He will get his answers.

 

And I will get my peace.

 

It’s not long before he speaks. He has perfected quiet anger. If it weren’t directed at me I’d be proud. Forget that, I am proud. He is definitely my son.

 

“– the truth,” he says. Damn, didn’t hear the start of that.

 

Then it starts.

 

I smell ozone.

 

I feel death’s embrace and, suddenly, I am back on the Dominator.

 

An hour before the clock runs out and Jaesa is by my side again.

 

I miss her.

 

It pains me to see her again, but I cannot change fate.

 

I want to scream. I want to tell her to get to a pod a leave. But she already knows. She’s saying her goodbyes through tears and snot and it’s all I can do to keep her leaving.

 

I can’t change fate.

 

This is torture.

 

Someone is screaming.

 

Thirty minutes until time stops.

 

Jadus.

 

This all leads back to Jadus.

 

The experiments. The pain. The careful selection of a subject. The disappearing staff. Death. Blood on my hands.

 

It’s all Jadus.

 

The screaming stops.

 

The Dominator is blown from the sky. I’m hurtling toward Dromund Kaas. I crash and am injured.

 

Intelligence.

 

Jadus.

 

The screaming starts again and I can’t–

 

 

Notes:

 

 

This might get a little confusing for those who haven't read Ninety Seven Percent. The link for that is in my sig.

 

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irishfino

irishfino

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The Void of Space

 

 

It’s dark. The sounds and smells are familiar. I can feel ice penetrating my clothes and gathering upon my skin. I can feel the softness of Jaesa’s skin against mine. It’s that night. I remember this night well.

 

I knew darkness was coming after meeting with Jadus.

 

I knew binding Jaesa to me in such a manner was foolish and would hurt her more when the end came. I was selfish. I regret it at times, but not always. I did love her. Even if I refused to admit it at the time. It would have been strange, really, to admit such a thing. I had lived two years in a place where she could not, but she was there. The feelings were there before, budding like flowers in a fertile garden. She would have said something sappy and silly like “A fertile garden of love.” And emphasized love with as much goo as possible. And possibly batted her eyes at me and grinned that silly grin of her.

 

I miss her.

 

It hurts to think such thoughts. It hurts to have her next to me again at long last. But I know. I know it won’t last, I know this is a memory. I know this is fleeting, but I am foolishly hoping that this last decade and more of my life was a dream. That I have a second chance. That this is that chance.

 

It’s not.

 

Jaesa wakes up next to me and goes stiff. I know what she’s thinking. I know what I’m thinking. When she speaks, it’s exactly as I remember. There is no deviation. This damn memory.

 

This damn memory.

 

I tell her she has to go. She’s hurt and starts to argue, but I am quick to make it clear to her.

 

“Jadus is planning something,” I say.

 

She knows. She can feel it. It’s gotten much colder since my return, she tells me. I know. Even with her next to me it’s all I can do to keep from shivering. He’s gathering fear in great proportions. I don’t know how much longer we have. And then I do. This is a memory. I know exactly what happens, when it happens, why it happens.

 

The memory skips forward when Jaesa pulls me to her and embraces me. He’s controlling this journey. I know he’s there. I hear laughter echoing in the darkness as the memory shoots forward.

 

The shifting blur of pictures finally comes to a stop. Blood freezes in my veins. I know this memory.

 

 

Notes:

 

 

After a long hiatus it seems the writing bug has returned to bite me. ^__^

 

Edited by irishfino
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irishfino

irishfino

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[sneezes]

 

Why Can't I Hate You

 

He calls for Halle after exploring that memory. That memory. He felt it. His mother’s pain, her sorrow, her feeling of loss, her emptiness. Then he felt his father’s pain and grief for his wife’s suffering. It is hard to accept. It’s hard to hate him right now and he so very badly wants to hate him.

 

He kicks the unconscious man in the ribs. His father. Malavai Barnabus Quinn. He is dead. Declared dead some time ago. He can’t remember how many years it’s been other than too many.

 

Halle comes in all red hair and green eyes and immediately focuses on the man on the floor. She’s a good sort. He likes her. Talos found her at a dig or, rather, she found him. She had been looking for him specifically for some reason or another. Blah, blah, Sith tombs and artifacts.

 

“He’s unconscious,” he says.

 

Halle rolls her eyes. “Obviously, Occ. What do you want me to do?”

 

“Stim him conscious.”

 

She does as she’s told then moves away as the man on the ground slowly comes to, groaning and wincing in pain.

 

“Anything else?”

 

“Mm, you could wait for me in my chambers.”

 

“Haha.” She leaves the two of them alone.

 

Gelt crosses his arms and watches as his father struggles to sit up. Once he does, he’s greeted by a jolt of lightning. His scream of pain is utter delight to Gelt’s ears.

 

“What do you want?” his father asks, his voice hoarse from his pained shouts.

 

“I want my mother back. I want my family back. I want my life back,” he replies without shouting this time.

 

“You think you’re the only one?” He braces himself as best he can as he shakes his head. “I’ve seen terrible things, done terrible things trying – trying to get you back. It was never enough. Never good enough. Never enough money. Never enough – anything. No matter how much I wanted you back, no matter how much – how much I loved you… nothing. And your mother – your mother died to protect us. She went so far as to use one of those damn Jedi mind tricks and it worked because I was weak for her. She was – she was everything until you finally came along.”

 

He wants to hate him.

 

“What was her command?”

 

“Protect Malavai.”

 

Malavai is both of them. Was both of them. He’s Sartus now and his father is Ucles. There is no going back. It’s a painful thought that strikes him in the chest and tightens his throat. Nothing he does now will right the Galaxy. He can’t have what his life would have been, he can’t have what his family would have been, he can’t have his mother and he barely has his father.

 

He calls for Talos this time then leaves his father hunched in the middle of the room. He needs to think. He needs to be somewhere else. He needs a good fight. A good fight always cleared his head.

 

He finds Khem outside and challenges him to a fight.

 

“This time, I will eat you, little Sith,” Khem rumbles.

 

Gelt shakes his head and smirks. Khem was always a sore loser.

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irishfino

irishfino

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I love your writing, but...I'm very confused.

 

Who begat who?

 

The long and short of it is:

 

Malavai Barnabus - given his grandfather's first name as a middle name - is the Quinn we all know and lovethe.

Malavai Sartus is Gelt's birth name. Quinn didn't want his son to bear his name, but, after all the children they had lost, he found it insensitive to deny Jaesa her wants.

 

MBQ + JW = MSQ

 

I'll cover why Gelt goes by Gelt in a future chapter.

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