Blade of Ascendancy

[Bird_of_Thunder]

First real fanfic attempt. Tell me if you guys like it!

 

 

Chapter 1: The Standing Threat

 

 

Darth Nox stood on her balcony overlooking Kaas City. She inhaled the warm jungle air and took in the setting of the Empire's crown jewel. For the Empire, it was the center of the universe, and it was well deserving of it. The planet radiated dark side energies, which Nox could feed off. She heard footsteps from outside her door and took her lightsaber in hand. She opened the doors and Ravvok walked in, calm and collected as usual. Nox lowered her saber and bowed to him. He returned the gesture. "It's good to see you again" Nox said, wondering why Ravvok was here. Maybe he's here to just talk to me, she wondered. No, when Ravvok came it meant something was wrong. Otherwise he would contact her over holocommunicator. "Likewise. An emergency meeting of the Dark Council has been called. They would like you in personal attendance" Ravvok said grimly. This meant only one thing, Nox thought. There was something much worse going on than thought. "Of course. Is that all?" she asked inquisitively, hoping there was more to his visit than just a message. "No" he replied, and Nox's hopes shot up. Then Ravvok took out a holocron. "As head of the Pyramid of Ancient Knowledge, it is your duty to take care of this. It belonged to a Sith lord named Monravis, some lunatic who accidentally discovered something of importance." Nox took the holocron and put it away. Ravvok nodded and left. Then Nox went back to staring off the balcony, pondering what the council could want, until she decided to go to the meeting.

 

Kaddo Ravvess sat at the bar in Nem'ro's palace. Kaddo and the Hutt had a rough history, involving a scam in which Kaddo's Great Hunt sponsorship was given to someone else already. But the drinks here were above average, so the hunter kept coming back. He sat at the side of the bar which had a view of the entrance. He wanted to make sure he was ready if someone came to kill him. He waited a few more minutes before some mercenaries came in. Kaddo counted four, and the leader was a familiar face. Kaddo immediately took out his gun and loaded it under the table. The leader of these mercs was none other than Nails, a Rodian who was hired to kill Kaddo a while back, during a spat with Tarro Blood. The encounter ended bad for the Rodian, who lost her left arm and the bottom half of her right leg. Kaddo could also see several cybernetic implants on her face. Of course, the Rodian and her gang had come to kill the hunter. He got up and stood in the open part of the cantina. The four mercs stopped opposite from him, standing a few meters away. "Well, well. If it isn't Nails. I thought I took care of you a while ago" Kaddo said, pacing while keeping his eyes on the mercs. "You thought so, di'kut. But now, I've got back up, and there ain't any way you can beat me" Nails said in her native language. Kaddo chuckled a bit. He stopped pacing at the spot he started and brought his gun to bear. "Bartender, might want to get a mop. It's about to get messy" he said to the man managing the bar before firing.

 

Ravvok stood in the Dark Council chambers, leaning against the wall. He had been asked to be in attendance for this meeting, but he wasn't sure why. Many of the Dark Council members, such as Darth Ravage, didn't trust him, but none of them dare contradict the Emperor's Wrath. After proving his position by exposing Darth Baras, his former master, as the false Emperor's Voice, Ravvok beat the Sith Lord in combat and executed him in front of the Dark Council, which assured the title of Emperor's Wrath was in Ravvok's hands. After a long struggle against his former master, the newly-christened Wrath began his conquest of punishment against the Emperor's enemies, including several insurgent Sith lords who wanted to try and make a power grab. He brought them all down quickly with an army backing him up, which became known as the Wrath Crusaders. With an army at his control, Ravvok was a threat to the Dark Council, and they were most likely plotting his downfall on the time the council gathered without the Wrath in attendance. Finally Darth Nox arrived and the meeting began. "Now, as you all know, the Dread Masters have been a thorn in our side for a while now. But now, they are much more than that. With a massive army of droids and the Foundry in their hands, the Dread Masters are now a galactic threat. This meeting has been called to determine how to deal with them, and deal with them quickly" Darth Marr explained. After a moment of silence, Darth Imperius spoke up. "We should ally with the Republic. The strength of our combined numbers would overpower the Dread Masters." "Pacifist" Nox muttered. The whole council broke out in argument, except for Darth Marr and Ravvok. Finally the Wrath stepped up for his turn. "Enough!" he shouted, and the room went quiet. "As much as I loath the decision, Imperius is right. We need the Republic to counter this new threat. We are in no position to fight a war on two fronts at the time, and negotiations with the Dread Masters would never work. The enemy of our enemy is our friend. The Republic is an enemy to the Dread Master, who are an enemy to us. All that is needed is to call a temporary truce" Ravvok explained. "But who could negotiate with the Jedi? They would attempt to kill us on sight" Darth Mortis said. "It's not the Jedi we need to negotiate with, it's the Senate. There is only one person who can successfully manage to negotiate with them without hostilities, and that person is Cipher Nine."

 

Kaddo was done with the mercs in minutes. They were decent shots, but Kaddo was better. The real trick was taking down Nails. Both him and the Rodian were trained Mandalorian commandos, but employed different tactics. Of course, now the hunter was interrogating Nails for a useful bit of information as to who he would need to kill. "Who hired you?" he questioned, vibroknife held to Nails's neck. He had the power setting turned off for intimidation. "I'll never tell you!" she replied. Kaddo dug moved his knife closer to her neck. "You're going to tell me or I'll cut you and feed you to the Akk dogs in the swamp" he said, but Nails shook her head. Kaddo drew the knife away and held it up to the area right under Nails's right eye. "I'm going to ask you one more time. Now, who hired you!" he yelled more than questioned. "Alright, alright! I'll talk!" the Rodian shouted. Kaddo stowed his knife, satisfied. Nails may be a commando, but she clearly wasn't trained in interrogation resistance. "His name is Tyraeus Noav. He's a Miralian smuggler who runs weapons and shuttles people for the Republic. He didn't say why he wanted you dead, but he hired me and my team to take you out" the Rodian said. Kaddo remembered the name from an earlier hunt. Back then, Noav ran more than guns. Originally a spice and stims runner, Tyraeus made a good profit off his work. Until, of course, Kaddo was hired to disrupt one of the pickups. When Tyraeus landed, Kaddo engaged him. The two got into a long gunfight and eventually Kaddo found a way to get rid of the shipment. He tossed a few gas tanks near the ship's hull and blasted them, creating an explosion which destroyed not only the cargo, but the ship as well. Right after the ship was blown, Kaddo apprehended Tyraeus and gave the smuggler over to the Hutt Cartel because the guy had a mark on him. Clearly Tyraeus had escaped the Hutts because the smuggler was able to hire nails. "Do you know where his next job is?" Kaddo asked Nails. "He said something about shuttling an important person from Tatooine to Coruscant. That's all I know" the Rodian said. "At least you didn't waste my time" Kaddo said. Then he shot Nails and left the cantina for the spaceport. He boarded his ship and headed for Tatooine.

 

[MilaniGrey]

Uhm, tip: separate your dialogue.

 

 

"Beautiful day outside, ins't it?" she asked, turning to face her visitor.

 

The man eyed his host, wondering why she's suddenly so amiable. "I could do with a little less clouds, but yes. It is certainly a beautiful day."

 

 

Just a random example. It makes conversations easier to read that way.

 

Also try and break up your paragraphs a bit. Huge walls of text are tiring to read. And your thoughts can be put into italics, to emphasize that the character is thinking something.

Edited November 26, 2012 by MilaniGrey

[irishfino]

Dialogue should start a new paragraph.

 

"Hi, Bill."

"Hey, Clair!"

 

And additional spaces help with reading on the forum.

 

"Hi, Bill."

 

"Hey, Clair!"