The Journal of Adaela Ul'Koth

[DuchessOfDork]

Day 1 - Korriban

 

Under the advisement of my late Master Tyrion, I've decided to start this stupid journal. I suppose I should have done it a long time ago, but I've been far too busy actually doing things of importance to pay much attention. Now that I've finally arrived on Korriban, I find that I have time to write after meditation.

 

I should probably start from the beginning. I don't particularly enjoy thinking about my childhood, but I understand that it is important to remember where I came from. I was raised primarily on Tython, but that was not how I was meant to be raised. My mother and father, both proud servants of the Empire, were Sith. My older brother, Askon, was well into his training when our family was placed on an Imperial vessel bound for Korriban. I was not very old myself, and Khali was less than a year old.

 

Being too young to understand the importance of our mission, I was absolutely shocked when my parents told me that we had been boarded by Jedi. Askon explained to me that we were carrying precious cargo, which in the end happened to be Jedi. They were being sent to Korriban for interrogation, and my parents were amongst those guarding them. They were bringing us, from our native home of Iridonia, to make a new home there amongst the Sith. Although we had been Sith for generations, my parents considered it a great honor to live there amongst them. They wanted us to receive the best education, and to exceed them in power.

 

At any rate, we were boarded. My mother, father, and brother fought bravely. Askon was hardly fifteen years old, but his hatred for the Jedi was strong enough to kill at least one. He and my mother were killed by a Twi'lek, a race that I'd never associated with anything other than slaves, and continue to look upon with distain.

 

My father fared better. At his feet were the bodies of three Jedi, all of them human. To this day, I believe that he must have known them. They seemed to speak a lot during the encounter.

 

I was not far from the conflict. I had been told earlier, by my mother, to guard my little sister. With her in my arms, I was found by the Jedi. I was too young to have grown even my largest horns, and certainly too young for my first marks. I suppose with my long hair and youngface, they must have thought I was malleable. The Jedi are truly ignorant about the way a Sith's mind works. Even at that early a stage, I was committed. The death of my parents and brother provided me with more than enough hatred fhatred for the Jedi to begin my journey toward being a true Sith.

 

But of course, my family was dead. And here were the Jedi, with concerned faces. They took pity on my baby sister and I, especially the one they called Rhissa. She was a Zabrak, like us, which I suppose was a small blessing.

 

Rhissa took us in. She, like many Jedi, made her home on Tython. Having asked the Jedi council for permission to raise two Sith foundlings, they trusted her with our education. Of course, I had no intention of becoming a Jedi. I knew my destiny, but I could not reveal the truth without the risk of being separated from my sister. I had faith that her true nature would be revealed, in time. I could not trust her with the truth, even as we grew together. With their teachings, I learned how to mask my emotions. The Jedi were masters of illusion. It was the Jedi who taught me how to lie.

 

It would be many years before they doubted me, and even then, I was misleading. Rhissa was a traditional Iridonian, and in my parents' place, she would perform the rites of passage. Knowing that I was gifted with strength in combat, she challenged me by giving me a different kind of test. Rhissa entrusted me with five small lizard eggs, and asked that I raise them to maturity. She did not specify the means to do this, so with this strange task, I learned to both trust and ignore my compassion.

 

As soon as the lizards hatched, they began attacking each other. Having read about this particular breed, I understood that it was in their nature to fight, and that typically, several hatchlings were devoured by their stronger siblings. In fact, it was generally required that a few of them die so that the others would have enough food necessary for survival.

 

I noticed that one of the babies looked ill-formed. It's spine was crooked, and it seemed to have a hard time moving. When it's siblings descended on their unfortunate brother, I watched. I did not interfere. Soon, they ate him, and I was able to feed the rest pureed rat meat. I had 4 healthy lizards, at the sacrifice of one. I took no pleasure in seeing the smallest one die, but neither was I shaken. However, I knew better than to say such things to Rhissa. I knew what she was looking for, so, after feeding the remaining lizards, I proceeded to give the remains of their sibling a proper burial.

 

Rhissa was impressed. After a few weeks, I managed to raise the lizards to a mature enough stage that they could survive in the wild. One was dead, but it was necessary for the survival of its brethren. Rhissa could see that I understood the need for sacrifice, and how to care for someone other than myself. I earned my tattoos.

 

Often, tattoos are chosen by one's parents. Mine, I chose myself. Rhissa did not seem surprised when I told her that the symbols I desired stood for strength, endurance, and protection. Of course, poor Rhissa had no idea why I truly chose these symbols, or how they would shape my destiny.

[DuchessOfDork]

Day 2 - Korriban

 

I'm actually enjoying my time, here. It's much warmer on this planet than I've ever felt before, and something about that feels very right. Looking back at what I've written, I suppose it looks as if I think quite highly of myself. I'm not sure if this is true. Certainly, I managed to do what many Sith have attempted; I infiltrated the Jedi. Indeed, I was trained by them. Had I understood this position better, I might have used it to my advantage and learned their secrets. However, in my position, I was ignorant. I had no idea how to progress toward my goal, which I didn't allow myself to think of very often.

 

The Jedi are cunning spies. They allow themselves to feel the thoughts of others by keeping their minds open. Emotions such as hatred, excitement, nervousness, can be felt more acutely. Therefore, I would not allow myself to think about how much I hated them unless I was completely and utterly alone. Outside of that solitute, I kept my mind blank, as they taught me. It did not give me much time to plan, but I had a basic idea of what to do. I knew that whenever possible, I must escape to the Sith, and reveal what I had learned. Also, I wanted to bring my sister.

 

My sister, however, had grown with the Jedi. Unlike me, she was taken in as a baby. She had no memories of our parents, and would not allow me to speak of them for fear of strong emotions. The Jedi brainwashed her to the point where she hid all emotion, but she could not hide the pride in her voice when she spoke of her background. She intended on proving the Jedi, and their suspicion of her, wrong.

 

When Khali faced her own rite of passage, I was old enough to become a Padawan. Having passed the Initiate trial, I was chosen by Master Everyn. Khali, meanwhile, was tested by Rhissa in her weakest talent; combat. My poor Khali was strong with the force, but physically weak. She managed to defeat the forest beasts that Rhissa set her on, but only through her use of the Force, and a few broken bones. I was impressed by my sister, but her tattoo choices were as passive as she was. Khali chose symbols that represented peace, tranquility, and gentleness. Our appearances were suddenly very different.

 

Whereas I had grown with long black hair, Khali had none. My skin, the dark crimson of my father, and the thick black tattoos of strength and protection, made me frightening. Khali's skin, a calm caramel color, and her thin graceful marks, made her sweet. She grew no hair, but neither did her horns make others uncomfortable. She covered her head with a hood and seemed as serene as a stream.

 

I knew I must be careful if I chose to speak to her of my true feelings. Khali and I spoke little, and she knew nothing of my plans, however little I thought of them. One day, my master explained that he and I would be traveling to Coruscant. There, we would meet another Jedi master, who's was renouned for his skills in hand to hand combat, and single lightsaber combat. He was called Master Harun, and Master Everyn seemed convinced that furthering my skill with a blade would calm what he thought was simply a restless spirit.

 

Truthfully, I had nothing against Master Everyn. He was a kind man, and he seemed to truthfully want to befriend me. However, he was a Jedi, and he contantly forced himself not to feel too much affection for me, or anything else. I found their reasoning pointless and cruel. Because of their brainwashing, my sister could not love me the way a sister should. She calmed herself so thoroughly that she would accept no signs of affection.

 

Before we left for Coruscant, I spoke to my sister. I considered telling her the truth, that there was more that I wanted and how much I hated the Jedi who raised us both. I thought that she might understand, that our blood bound us, but when I shared even a few of my restless feelings, she attempted to calm me. "Erase your doubt", I remember her saying. "One must be calm with the Force to be at peace."

 

I knew I'd lost her, and that if I told her the truth I would be revealed. She was more Jedi than Sith, regardless of her background. I kissed my sister, which she hastily wiped away because she refused to love me too much. At the time, I didn't allow it to hurt me. Now, I realize, she was doing me a favor. I hated the Jedi even more than I thought possible.

[vadess]

Interesting. Your Sith knows how to hide himself very well! I wonder how he'll escape to Korriban. Looking forward to the next installment. Too bad he lost his sister to the Jedi... Convinced: More freeing to be a LS Sith than a LS Jedi, as Sith never have these ridiculous restrictions placed on them!

[bright_ephemera]

I think I like where this is going. Looking forward to more!

 

...also, grumble grumble freaking would-be-emotionless Jedi...