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Books written by Star Wars characters that you wouldn't buy


Aurbere

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"How to walk both sides of the Force"-by Revan

"How to be one of the lamest Dark Lords ever"-by Malak

"How to mind **** people with your race"-by Yoda

 

The Yoda one sounds funny. What stinks is that George doesnt want anyone to know what Yoda is. Maybe because he doesn't even know it. If he does know the least he could do is tell us.

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"My enduring love-How to withstanding your whiny, spazing Sith boyfriend's domestic abuse via choking"-Padme Amadila

 

LIARS! Dealing with the lies of your friends and loved ones. By killing them ALL!- Anakin Skywalker

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"Dammit I Drew First" Greedo

 

"Know when to hold'em. Know When to Fold'Em" Moff Tarken

 

"My Pod Racer Adventures with Spanky, Buckweat and Alphalpha" Ani "gee wiz I'm cute" Skywalker

 

"How to Avoid Cliche Cultural Stereotypes" Watto and The Trade Federation

 

"How to Drive Safely" Mark Hamill

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A couple more

 

"THIS IS CNN" Darth Vader

 

"Erotic Oil Baths" C3P0

 

"Oh MY GOD, OH MY GOD I get to be in a Star Wars Movie" Jimmie Smitts

 

"Protecting Classic Films" G. Lucas

 

"Skin Care For A Healthy Look" Palpatine

Edited by DevonDs
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Hey, Luke. Who's Your Daddy? by R2-D2

 

I Know What's Going On, But Nobody Else Does by R2-D2

 

Kiss My Shiny Metal Butt: The Art of Dealing with Prissy Gold Protocol Droids by R2-D2

 

 

Actually, I would buy all those books, since R2-D2 IS the Most Interesting Droid In The Galaxy. :D

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"How to run a Tusken train on an enslaved mositure farmer's wife and keep her alive" - by Rograk Phanok, Tusken Chief

 

"Surviving the death sentence in over 12 systems" - by Dr. Evanzan (this is a 2nd edition with a new addendum for random cantina encounters with old Jedi masters)

 

"Workplace safety and You: no handrail in the Death Star firing chamber is NOT okay :( " - by DS Trooper Ralos

 

"How to woo a Senator using the worst pick up lines in the Galaxy" - Anakin Skywalker

 

"I married a mass murderer" - by Padme Amidala

 

"Younglings classroom discipline and maintaining it with a lightsaber" - Darth Vader

 

"Not doing much good back there: the secret way to rise through the ranks of Rebellion starfighter command" - by Wedge Antilles

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I Did It All For The Money by George Lucas with Special Guest Writer Gene Simmons

 

Separation Anxiety by Darth Maul

 

It Cost An Arm, Both Legs, and My Left Nut by Anakin Skywalker

 

I Did It All For the Wookiee by Jolee Bindo with Fred Durst

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"Do or do not, there is no try: A lesson in lifting your starfighter out of a swamp." By Master Yoda. (Published posthumously)

 

"Mastering the Challenging Language of Gunganian" By Boss Nass, foreward by Jar Jar Binks.

 

"Frozen in Carbonite: Meditations in suspended animation" By Han Solo

 

"Ergonomic Chairs: The Menace of the Galaxy" Anonymous

Edited by Guildrum
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"Mastering the Challenging Language of Gunganian" By Boss Nass, foreward by Jar Jar Binks.

 

Shouldn't that title read, "Yoosa Becomin' Good at dat Bombad Speak'a da Gungan"?

Edited by Rhudian
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