silvershadows Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 (edited) Just for giggles, and to see if anyone is interested, here's a short excerpt from the story I'm writing. It's going to turn into a novel by the time I'm done, already up to 20 pages! This is the first time I've done fan fiction rather than a wholly unique story, so I'm curious whether or not people will enjoy it or find my writing style interesting. Whenever I finally finish it I'll probably be posting it onto DeviantArt and linking to it from here or the smuggler forums (or both). So just to dip my toe in and test the waters, I thought I would post a short bit of it here and see what sort of reception it gets. Just for the sake of clarity, this particular scene is what happens when Lillian arrives on Ord Mantell to pick up a weapons shipment she is supposed to smuggle onto Corellia. This is actually the last part of the first chapter of the story: "Orthos? Maybe you can help me here and while you're at it, give me the name of my contact on Corellia." She turned to face the man, and was considerably disconcerted to find herself staring down the barrel of the blaster he was holding pointed at her forehead. She tried a joke. "Or, you could just shoot me and put me out of my misery."His pale eyes narrowed at her, though his face was otherwise expressionless. "I think you'd rather come with me, Captain. Don't make this any harder on yourself." His voice had changed, Lillian realized - he spoke in clipped precise tones, each word carefully enunciated and perfectly clear. Imperial. She closed her eyes for a second and swallowed hard, then opened them and tried again."Hey, I think you have the wrong person here. I'm just a small-time smuggler looking for some credits, I'm nobody important."Now he did smile, and it was a smile so predatory that it caused a cold pit to form in her stomach. She thought of the blasters on her forearms and tried to calculate whether or not she could get them into her hands and up in firing position before he burned a hole through her skull. Fat chance, she thought. Better to keep talking if she could. Before she could open her mouth and speak again though, he took a step forward and put the cold muzzle of his blaster directly against the white skin of her forehead."You are Captain Lillian Riggs. Your ship is the Silver Shadow, and you were employed as a privateer for the Galactic Republic two years ago during the battle of Corellia. Your husband is a farm boy from this planet named Corso. Your ship's crew was a motley bunch of aliens who have since scattered across the galaxy as scum like that is wont to do. You made the mistake of coming here alone, and now, you will come with me, or I will shoot you."She had no choice. Shaking her wrists, she dropped the holdout blasters into her palms and started to bring her arms up and in line. The Imperial was a split second faster, however, and she saw his thumb switch the power selection lever on his blaster from "kill" to "stun" just before he squeezed the trigger.The blue-white ion burst played over her body, frying every nerve ending and causing her muscles to spasm uncontrollably. She dropped to the ground, unable to control her own body, as the Imperial kicked the blasters from her hands, sending them skittering across the floor. He knelt down beside her, pulling a syringe from his pocket, uncapping it and jabbing the needle into the side of her neck, depressing the plunger with his thumb."Sleep now, Captain." His voice came to her as if from a great distance as she felt whatever drug he had put in her body start to work, causing her mind to drift. An image of Corso surfaced in her thoughts, his brown eyes staring at her, a loving smile painted across his face. She felt a single tear well up and slide down her cheek as she lay there on the cold floor unarmed and defenseless, before unconciousness claimed her. Edited February 20, 2012 by silvershadows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dripp Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 That was really good! Wish there was more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershadows Posted February 21, 2012 Author Share Posted February 21, 2012 That was really good! Wish there was more. There will be! That's actually the end of the first chapter, so there's more before AND after it, I'm just testing to see what people think of my writing style, before I commit myself to actually writing this... what is turning out to be a novel, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almostinsane Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Now this is interesting. Can't wait to read more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kabjat Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Keep it coming! That was quite a teaser xD. I'd love to see what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershadows Posted February 21, 2012 Author Share Posted February 21, 2012 Keep it coming! That was quite a teaser xD. I'd love to see what happens. Oh don't worry, I'm working my butt off. My poor husband has endured about 3 versions of chapters one and two, haha. My only worry is that it might be too long - maybe not really novel length, more of a novella. I don't care though, I'm having so much fun writing it. Rather than post it in parts I'm just going to wait until it's done and post it all at once, I think. Glad to see my snippet is getting a good reception though, it's definitely encouraging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow_Hawk Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 (edited) Gosh! cant wait always love a good story this one looks to be really really great keep it up Although I my self prefer to play a bountyhunter over a smuggler still looking forward to this one Edited July 24, 2012 by Snow_Hawk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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