Angedechu Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I had posted about the idea, but I improved the core concept. Technically, the story is follow two different plots that are eerily similar, as each ''chapter'' is exactly on the same lenght, and mirror to a large degree the content of it's parallel chapter. Story A follow the adventures of a Twi'lek girl only known as the Mistress, the supposed ''pet'' of a Sith Warrior, who in fact seduced him/her by her wiles (probably a ''she'', if just for avoiding implication of ****) Story B is what happens to the Servant, another Twi'lek girl enslaved by a Sith Warrior (Rather obviously here, the Twi'lek is Vette, and the Warrior is the PC. The storyline follow rather closely TOR progression, altough remaining usually pretty vague on specifics. The idea to not use names is to make the story as ''broad'' as possible, as there must be dozens, hundreds of Sith Warriors with personnal slaves slashing they way across the galaxy, and not just one !) The twist is that ''A'' is the delusion of the girl of ''B''-delusions, or Force mind tricks, whatever rock your boat. So roughly (its a sarcastic example) story would go like this Storyline A : the Mistress is on Drommund Kaas, and assist her ''mistress'' with graceful moves and awesome abilities, against rather non-descript foes Storyline B : the Servant follow the Warrior as she slash her way among desperate and under-armed slaves, that beg for mercy. (Like B, this come with a lot of more or less clever puns at MMO conventions, like side mentions that the Warrior use Vette as a bait-this could translate very well as ''Vette is used to pull mobs with her ranged skills) The issue is, as story progress, there are more and more ''intrusions'' in each storyline (in A, the Mistress showing he true colors, and in B, the submissive Vette refusing commands-it don't end well usually for her) Okay, it's aint Shakespeare, but this should provide for a basic psychological progression....(as well as imo, a rather clever use of Dark Side/Light Side) Now, why I'm posting this here ? 1)Likely, not unlike Vette, I love wearing shock collars. Or which is even kinkier, I still post on forums about relatively serious projects, and it goes down in flames. 2)I would like, which is unprobable, a honest opinion on the core concept 3)In the unlikely possibility this interest someone, English is not my first language (French is), so I would like some help.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JarenVestrit Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) I see that you're back from your ban. Edited January 9, 2012 by Trineda removed quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angedechu Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 Any comment.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcbully Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Sorry my ability to think was derailed after reading that you enjoy shock collars. Finally someone on these forums that is interesting. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadysketchy Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I see that you're back from your ban. Well I'm not sure if we're allowed to discuss disciplinary action taken against users, so I won't comment on that But I will say that my disappointment in SWTOR led to an emotional outburst, and that had some consequences; upon reflection, and after calming down, I have resolved to not post anything objectionable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JarenVestrit Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Well I'm not sure if we're allowed to discuss disciplinary action taken against users, so I won't comment on that But I will say that my disappointment in SWTOR led to an emotional outburst, and that had some consequences; upon reflection, and after calming down, I have resolved to not post anything objectionable Good to have you back then! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angedechu Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 This was sarcasm. If you post your prose on a game forums, you are either inconscient....or loving pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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